Unconditional support
by thedarkpassenger85
Summary: Eleven years have passed since Maura gave birth to the twins. Louis is now 16 and is facing a tough decision regarding his future. This chapter also gives you a quick glimpse of what kind of adults Maura and Jane's children grew up to be!EPILOGUE IS UP! ENJOY!
1. Jane's secret

**Alright guys, the return is almost over and so this is my new story. I just wrote this chapter right now in like an hour and even if I know I should have waited until the return was over to upload it I just couldn't resist!**

**Chapter one :**

**Jane's secret.**

It has been a month since Jane had killed Hoyt, 30 days since he threatened to kill her best friend, 30 nights since Jane was finally able to close her eyes and have a proper night of sleep for the first time in years.

After being scared and having nightmares about Hoyt coming after her for years Jane was finally able to live a normal life surrounded by her friends and family, or at least she was hoping to until that morning.

"Are you alright Jane?"Standing above her autopsy table, her scalpel in her hand Maura knew something was wrong with her best friend. Obviously she knew that going back to a normal life after had happened would take time but she never expected Jane to still be so distant after a month.

After what happened, after she witnessed her best friend literally sticking a scalpel into Hoyt's hear to save her things have changed. Jane was acting distant , she wouldn't come to her house for sleep overs or movie nights like she used to and would barely talk to her outside of anything work related. At first Maura thought she had done something wrong but quickly understand that Jane needed time but after 30 days she was starting to ask herself if something much deeper than Jane's need to cope was actually happening.

"Yeah, I just….I think those sushis Frost and I ate last night were no good." Jane replied her hand in front of her mouth feeling she was about to throw up.

"You do look awfully pale." Maura replied taking her gloves off.

"Thanks you look nice too."

"Come here, sit and roll up your sleeve." Maura instructed pulling a chair from under the autopsy table.

"Why?" Jane replied following Maura's orders.

"I'm going to draw some blood, you seem to be anemic but I can not make a definitive assessment until I draw some blood."

"Alright, alright." Jane replied rolling up her sleeves knowing there was no escaping Maura when she had something in mind.

"Alright. We're all done, see that wasn't so bad." Maura said a few minutes later pulling off her gloves.

"No, for someone who usually deals with dead patients, I admit you're good. Thank you." Jane replied finally giving her a smile after almost a month of barely looking at her.

"You're welcome. I will call you once I get the results."

"Alright. I will see you later call me if you have any news relative to our case." Walking towards the elevator her hand on her belly Jane already knew what the results would be but was too much of a coward to tell Maura.

Going home a few hours later Jane sitting in her couch, her case file on her lap trying to get that night off her mind, not the night she killed Hoyt which was also her birthday but the night that followed.

She remembered being home in her pajamas finally happy to be able to put this nightmare behind her when someone knocked on her door. Next thing she knew she was waking up the next morning naked in bed feeling that may have just committed the biggest mistake of her life.

A few hours later she went to work, trying to erase that night of her memory but failing miserably. For the next month she had found herself unable to look Maura in the eyes, dying to tell her what had happened but unable to find an explanation to justify her behavior. She knew that Maura was her best friend and that she wouldn't judge her, that she would actually be happy for her, but she couldn't, wouldn't tell her.

So for the past month Jane had cowardly avoiding Maura but she had a feeling that what happened that night was about to explode in her face.

A few hours after drawing Jane's blood Maura had finally received the results but couldn't believe her eyes.

"Now that certainly explains a lot." Maura said to herself re reading the results a third time scared that she might have misinterpreted them.

Sitting on her chair Maura was finally able to understand Jane's recent dizziness and stomach aches and her visible discomfort during autopsies.

Driving towards Jane's apartment that night a million questions were running through Maura's brain. She was wondering if Jane knew and if she did why she hadn't she tell her?

Knocking on Jane's door a few minutes later Maura took a deep breath determined to be as diplomatic as possible, knowing that confronting Jane and pushing her wouldn't do any good. She knew she needed to apprehend the situation with tact without judging her for not telling her or for actually putting herself in that position.

"Maura, it's half past ten, what are you doing here?"Opening the door seeing the concerned look on her friend's face Jane knew that the run was over and that it was time to face the truth and Maura as well.

"May I come in?" Standing there waiting for Jane to invite her in Maura realized that she hasn't been to Jane's place since her surprise birthday party.

" Yes please." Opening the door, inviting Maura in Jane had no doubt that her suspicions were correct and that Maura was here to confirm them to her.

Sitting on Jane's couch, taking a minute to gather her thoughts and find the most appropriate way to bring this subject up Maura knew that things could go two ways : Jane could either trust her and confide in her and accept her help or completely shut down and push her away, possibly for ever.

"So I have your results back." Pulling a piece of paper from her purse, slowly unfolding it Jane was giving Jane the opportunity to come clean and to tell her herself.

"I'm pregnant aren't I?"Sitting next to Maura nervously scratching the scars on her hand Jane was unable to look at her.

"Yes. Your HGG level indicates you're about 4 weeks pregnant." Moving a bit closer to Jane not knowing what to do or say Maura felt powerless for the first time since they met. Even if she never had great social skills Maura never had any problems understanding and helping Jane, they didn't need to talk or to do anything, they just understood each other's needs. Unfortunately this time, in that particular situation Maura didn't know what were the words Jane needed to hear.

"Okay."Feeling Maura's knee slightly touching hers Jane wanted to push her away so hard. She didn't want to see her like that, weak, uncertain.

All her life Jane has always acting like a strong, stubborn , protective Detective because that's how people saw her and needed her to be. With Maura it was different, even if she felt compelled to protect her and take care of her Jane knew she didn't have to hide her weaknesses from her. Maura was the only person she told about her nightmares and about what really happened in that basement. The trust she had in her was so strong that she was confident that Maura didn't see her as someone who was weak or unable to protect her. Unfortunately tonight, for the first time Jane couldn't talk to the only person on earth who she knew wouldn't judge her, the only person whose opinion truly mattered. For the first time Jane was paralyzed, unable to put together a simple sentence, actually she didn't even know how to feel, she was completely lost and after avoiding Maura for a month she needed her more than ever.

"I'm not going anywhere." Maura whispered gently taking her hand, resting her head on her shoulder.

That night Maura stayed with Jane holding her hand in silence. Obviously she had a millions question that she was dying to ask her but she knew it wasn't the time for her to ask them, Jane was allowing her to stay with her and she didn't want to take the risk to get pushed away.

So that night the two women stayed in Jane's living room without exchanging a word, probably because they didn't really know what to say. Over the past few years they had been through a lot : Hoyt came after them 3 times, Maura had discovered that her father was a mob and found herself in danger because of him, Jane had shot herself, not to mention that Ian had almost break them up, but they had survived all those terrible challenges. Unfortunately none of them knew how to apprehend this new challenge that was supposed to be the most amazing thing a woman could ever experience. Yes Jane and Maura had supported each other through death, hostage situations, ex boyfriends but they didn't know how to deal with Jane being pregnant, for now at least.

Holding her friend's hand that night Maura knew that there was no way she would ever leave Jane face this alone. She didn't know how she was going to assist her but she knew she had to be there for her every step of the way whether Jane decided to keep the baby or not, she needed to be there for her friend.

**SO guys, what do you think?I think it was time I wrote a story where Maura is the one supporting Jane(appart from Broken). After finishing the return I realized that you were right : Maura is always the one being pregnant, so for once I think it should be fun to see Jane pregnant(if she decides to keep the baby)Also it should be interesting to see how their relationship is going to evolve in that particular situation, considering they're not dating. I think Jane is always written as the strong supportive one but we all know what Maura is capable off too(CF when she confronted Hoyt among other things)**

**I think this story has great potential and even if I revealed a lot in that first chapter a lot of questions are still unanswered won't be for a while(like the identity of the father of Jane's child).**

**As always this is a new story, it's up to you to tell me if you want me to continue!**


	2. Jane's decision

**Hey guys, thank you all for the wonderful reviews!**

**I think this story is a challenge for me because this situation isn't natural for me to write. I mean Maura supporting Jane yes I did that with broken but Jane being pregnant, never done that but I like to challenge myself and I will do my very best not to disappoint you.**

**Chapter two.**

**Jane's decision.**

The next morning Jane woke up her head on Maura's lap the sun warming up her face. Slightly opening her eyes, looking up at her friend she could see that she wasn't sleeping knew that she had probably spent the night looking out for her. Taking a second to apprehend this situation, still unsure of how to behave with Maura Jane slowly opened her eyes a bit further, wide enough for Maura to noticed she was awake.

"Hey sleepy head."Maura smiled, looking down at Jane's wrapping a strain of hair off her eyes.

"Did you get any sleep?"Jane yawned sitting up cracking her neck and fingers.

"No, I found it very hard to sleep in this position."

"Oh I'm sorry you should have gone home after I fell asleep." Seeing how tired she was Jane felt even more guilty for pushing her away and avoiding her to so long. She felt seriously unworthy of her support.

"No, I couldn't leave you. I'm alright." Maura replied massaging her tensed neck with her right hand painfully trying to rotate her head and relax her muscles.

"Thank you. After the way I have been acting for the past month I really don't deserve your help."

"Of course you do, you're my best friend, nothing you could do or say can change that. I was just worried. At first I thought you needed time to recover from what happened with Hoyt but after a couple of weeks I realised that your behaviour had nothing to do with killing him, that you were disturbed by something else. Now I understand."

"It happened the night after my birthday party I…" Sitting next to Maura, nervously scratching the scars on her hands Jane felt compelled to finally tell the truth but she didn't how or how much she was really ready to comfess.

"You don't have to explain anything or justify yourself, not to me Jane." Maura said her hand on Jane's knee, squeezing it gently. The truth was Maura was of a curious nature, especially when it came to her best friend and even more when she knew something was bothering or hurting her but this was different from everything they ever went through together and she knew she had a apprehend it with tact and respect.

"You don't want to know who the father is?" Narrowing her eyebrows wondering if Maura's sudden lack of curiosity was sincere or just a way to make her feel safe enough so she would reveal her the truth.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm sincere Jane. If you want to tell me what happened that night and who the father is I'm here to listen, but I know you and I don't believe that you're ready so as much as I want to know I won't push you."

"Thank you. I guess I'm not ready to face what happened. What happened is not me, I don't jump into bed with someone that easily. I just need time to understand why I acted like that you know."

"I understand that you need time to figure things out. I know that my experience with Hoyt wasn't as dramatic as yours but I also felt the need to express the relief somehow."

"What did you do?"

"I went sky diving."

"Why am I not surprised? You dealt with what happened this by jumping off a plane and I ended up in bed with a guy I don't even have feelings for."Saying it out loud Jane realised how ridiculous this was : Maura was usually the one using sex to cope or as a way of escaping reality and she was the one putting herself in danger as a way of copping.

"I think we all have our own ways to mourn or come to terms with our deemons."Seeing how embarrassed Jane was by her own behaviour Maura was desperately trying to minimise what she had done knowing it was probably useless, that Jane had lost control that night and knowing her she knew it was the worse thing that could have happened to her.

"I know except my way of dealing had consequences." Her hand on her belly feeling a bit nauseous Jane could barely believe that this was happening, this was her, she wasn't the kind to use sex to deal with her issues, she was the responsible one, the one who had control over her life but right now she felt she had lost complete control over her life, her mind and most importantly her own body and she knew that Maura was the only one who could understand that.

"I know, but I'm here and what ever you decide I will be there for you every step of the way." Holding Jane's hand resting her head on her shoulder Maura suddenly felt compelled to comfort her friend, not only psychologically but also physically. Ever since they met Jane had behaved like a big sister, more like her personal Rottweiler actually, protecting her, taking care of her risking her life for her and it was time for her to give back of that unconditional support she had blessed her with for so many years.

"And I have no idea which way it's gonna be. Actually I know which way it shouldn't be. I mean I'm not a mother Maura…"

"Don't say that. You would make a great mother." As strong as Jane appeared to people Maura could tell how much she doubted herself never professionally but personally and she couldn't bare seeing her diminishing herself like that.

"Why? It's true, I'm so screwed up, my life is a complete mess, not to mention that I'm not even dating the father. What kind of life is this child going to have?" Rising her voice a bit, pulling her hand way Jane was annoyed by Maura's excess of optimism, how could she not see that having this child was a bad idea, that she wouldn't be a fit mother?

"First of all, we are all damaged in our own way, but you my dear are the most carrying, supportive, loving woman I have ever met in my entire life not to mention I saw you with children, you are a born mother. As for not being with that child's father it's up to you, no matter who he is you can decide to have a relationship with him or to raise this child without being together. You can even chose to be a single mother if you want, it's up to you Jane." Remaining calm, not impressed or even disturbed by Jane's self loathing attitude Maura's strongly believed that Jane would be a terrific mother, no matter how she would choose to do it.

"God, I didn't know I had so many options." Hearing Maura's brilliant expose Jane suddenly realised that she actually had options and choices but there was only one that was obvious to her.

"Well you do and I'm going to be right here with you what ever you decide."

"You want to know something funny?"

"Tell me."

"I don't know if I want to keep this child or not and if I do keep it what part the father will take if any actually, but I know for a fact that no matter what I decide I want you by my side ." Considering her various options there was only one component common to all of them : Maura. Jane knew that no matter what she was going to do that she wanted to do it with her and no one else.

"Good because I'm not going anywhere."

"But I am, excuse me a second." Jane burped her hand on her mouth, suddenly feeling sick…

"Thank God for morning sickness ." Maura smiled following Jane in the bathroom.

Her head on top of her toilet throwing her guts out Jane was suddenly asking herself why in hell this was happening to her. She wasn't ready to be a mom, not physically, not emotionally. She obviously loved children but couldn't bring a child into this world and impose her the kind of life she was living even with Maura by her side, it wouldn't be fair .

"Here, I got you."Maura said kneeling behind her, pulling her hair back.

"Thank you." Jane said rising her head trying to catch her breath.

"Here." Maura said handing her a towel, gently rubbing her back.

"I can't do this Maura, I just can't. I need you to take me to the clinic ." Jane asked wiping her mouth, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Are you sure? I think you should take time to consider this Jane."

"I have known I'm pregnant for two weeks Maura. I was late which never happens to I took a pregnancy test and I spent every single living minute thinking about it. I can not do this even with your help. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise. I understand." Pulling Jane against her kissing her forehead Maura's heart broke into pieces. She knew Jane was going to regret her decision and wished she could find the right words to make her change her mind or to make her see her through her own eyes so she could realise that she was a born mother. Unfortunately Maura knew Jane enough to know that there was no changing her mind, ever.

So that morning Maura did the most terrifying she had ever done for anyone : she took Jane to a clinic, helped her fill up the questionnaire and hold her hand in the waiting room until if was time for her to go in .

After an hour of waiting Maura had to finally let go of Jane's hand. Watching her friend slowly follow the nurse without even looking back at her, her mouth slightly opened Maura was incapable to say a word, to say that perfect word that will make her change her mind.

A few hours later after reading every single magazine in the waiting room Maura finally saw Jane coming out off that room that scared the hell out of her. Jane was wearing a large grey cargo pants, along baggy t shirt and a pair of sneakers and seeing her coming out of that room her arms crossed, nervously looking around her Maura understood that Jane needed her help more than ever if she wanted her to ever come back from this.

"Just take me home please." Jane mumbled nervously rubbing her left arm, shaking uncontrollably …

"Of course sweetheart."Wrapping her arms around Jane's waist helping her to walk to her car Maura realised that Jane might have just been through the most terrible thing of her entire life, far more terrible and painful then Hoyt or getting shot or witnessing her little brother almost dying.

That afternoon Maura took Jane home, followed her in her bedroom, climbed in bed and snaked herself around her, in silence. She knew Jane wasn't willing or even ready to talk about it for now, that all she could do was to continue to hold her. So for the next few hours Maura layed in bed holding her tight trying to make her stop shaking. For the first time since they met Jane needed her, emotionally and physically and even if she had no idea how to help her Maura knew she was probably the only person Jane would allow to help her and was determined to do everything in her power to help her overcome this.

**So guys what do you think?**

**Did Jane go through with the abortion? Or did she change her mind? I know abortion is a sensitive subject but I wanted to talk about it because there is no way she wouldn't consider it.**

**As always reviews are welcome, what do you think about my new challenge?**


	3. Moving in

**Chapter 3:**

**Moving in.**

That afternoon Maura stayed in bed holding Jane in her arms, watching her sleep unable to close her own eyes despite her own exhaustion. Looking at Jane sleeping, feeling her shaking in her arms Maura knew that even if she had never experienced an abortion she had to find it in her to try to understand Jane, to put herself in her shoes to be able to help her. She knew that Jane didn't need her to talk, that for now she just needed her presence but she knew that one day, she would need to express her feelings regarding the terrible decision she had made and knowing Jane knew it would probably be in a very destructive manner. Over the years Maura had helped Jane through a lot : she had supported her through the all Hoyt situation, through her physical and emotional rehabilitation after the shooting, she had helped her cope with her parents' divorce but this was new but she knew she couldn't fail her, not now.

Around 6 pm Jane finally woke up her face still marked by the terrible decision she had made.

"How are you feeling?"Maura asked her voice low, warm, reassuring as she looked deep down into her friend's eyes.

"I didn't do it Maura."Looking up at Maura seeing how exhausted she was, those words were the first that Jane wanted to say and they came out as a true relief.

"You didn't?" Suddenly feeling relieved that Jane had changed her mind Maura wanted to scream, to bounce out off bed and release her emotions but she couldn't, she needed to understand why Jane had changed her mind and if it was a definitive decision.

"No, I was laying there, ready to go through with it but the Doctor had an emergency and was late so …."

"So you started reconsidering your decision." Calming herself down feeling Jane's body relaxing under her grip Maura took pride knowing that she was probably no estranged to that decision.

"Yes and I realised that I wanted this baby, actually I always knew I wanted it ever since I took that test two weeks today I just didn't feel capable of raising this child."

"But now you do."

"No, I still don't feel fit to be a mother but I' almost 38 Maura and if I have to wait until I meet the right guy or for my life to be free of drama, I'll never have kids. Also you seem to believe that I am capable of being a good mother and I learned to never doubt you. I don't know how the next few months are gonna play and God knows it scares the crap out of me, but I know that you're here and I trust you help me and support me."Looking up in straight in Maura's eyes Jane, for the first time in her life was asking for help. Maura had supported her in numerous occasion over the past few years but Jane had never to ask for it, all she needed to do was too look in her eyes for Maura to understand. This time it was different, Jane was scared and even her legendary pride couldn't stop her from releasing her emotions.

"Of course I will be there. I will there for every single ultrasound, birth class and check up and I will be there to help you give birth to that child but most importantly I'm going be here to help you see yourself the way I and all the people who love you see you. You are the most incredible woman I know Jane and you're going to be a great mom." Saying those words Maura realised that Jane had changed her mind because of her, because she had promised to stand by her and hold her hand through this pregnancy and as scared as she was by Jane's sudden excess of trust she was also flattered and determined to live up to her friend's expectations.

"I hope you're right. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, you can ask me anything."

"I do not want to talk about the father or even tell him I'm pregnant yet. I know it probably makes me a horrible person, that he has the right to know and I will tell him but only once the baby is born."

"I understand, do you feel that you will know what do know once you hold your baby?"

"Precisely, I know that I don't love him and I that I don't want to engage in a relationship with him for my baby's sake but I also feel it would be unfair of me to keep that child away from its father, but right now I don't want to have to deal with him."

"Okay, I won't talk about him and I will make sure everyone respects your choice."

"Oh boy, how am I going to tell people? My mother is going to torture me until I tell her who the father is."Laying on her back rubbing her face with both hands Jane was suddenly hit with reality : she wasn't alone with Maura in this world, she had to consider how this would affect her family and friends and how to behave with them.

"Jane, please calm down. First of all, people usually don't make any announcement until the first trimester is over and I think you should respect that tradition, it will give you time to figure things out. Secondly if you don't want to reveal the father's identity to your mother you just need to tell her and to stick to your position and I will be there to make sure she respects your decision."

"Thank you. Damn who knew you could be such a rottweiler?"Jane smiled remembering the time when Maura went to see Hoyt in custody and straightened him, she wasn't the weak and frail woman people thought she was, she was a fighter and she knew that she would do everything to protect her and her baby's privacy even if it meant standing up against Angela.

"Only when it comes to you Jane."

"So what do you think I should do next?Should I go to see an OBGYN."

"Well first thing first you my dear are going to pack your things so you and Joe Friday can move in with us."Sitting up on Jane's bed quickly looking around her trying to figure out how much personal belonging would bring Maura was determined to do this the right way and to take her responsibility seriously.

"No, no, no. I said I would accept your help but I won't bother you by invading your private space."

"Jane, your mother already lives with me, my house is already half Rizzoli anyway."The truth was that Maura's house was huge, it had 3 bedrooms and a guest room and it was far too big for her and Bass and even if she didn't want to admit it she never felt so at home since Angela move in with her and she knew that having Jane with her would be a blessing.

"I can't accept that, not to mention that If I move in with you I will have to find an excuse to justify that to my mother and to everyone until we make an announcement."

"Don't worry about your mother, we will find something to tell her, without lying of course but I suppose we could bend the truth a little bit."

"I can't Maura. I'm sorry."Sitting on the edge of her bed ready to walk away from Maura Jane suddenly reached her limit, yes she needed help, but she wasn't ready to put so much responsibilities on Maura's back.

"Why?Is it because you don't want me to lie to your mother or because you're too pride to accept my help?" Trying to keep Jane to walk away from her Maura knew this wouldn't be easy, that she would have to convince her that moving in with her was the right choice, that it didn't make her weak but that it was the right decision to make for her baby.

"A little bit of both I suppose."

"I understand that you are very independent but you're going to need support days and nights over the next 8 months and as much as I'm willing to help you I'm not willing to cross town every time you will crave for ice cream in the middle of the night ."

"You know I'm more of a hot dog person..."

"Then I'll make you hot dogs in the middle of the night or I'll rub your feet but only if we're under the same roof."

"Alright, I suppose we could give it a try, but don't you think two Rizzolis, well 3 oh God 4 with Joe Friday is gonna be too much?I don't wanna be a burden!"Finally giving in Jane realized the extend of what Maura was offering. She had already gave her roof to Tommy, who had recently moved out and to her mother and now she was willing to welcome her, the baby and Joe Friday under her roof, Maura was actually turning her life upside down for her, for her family.

"Don't say that. You're my best friend, you're my family and you will never be a burden, as for your mother I will tell her that I have been having recurrent nightmares because of Hoyt and that I can only sleep when you're with me, which isn't a lie."

"Oh Maura, I'm sorry…I have been so busy pushing my head up in my own ass that I didn't even consider how hard the past months must have been for you too."Her hand on Maura's neck brushing a strain of hair covering her scar Jane suddenly realized how selfish she has been : Hoyt had sequestered, tasered and brutally cut Maura and not even once she had asked her how she was sleeping.

"It's alright, I'm alright now. Anyway, I suppose you haven't consulted an OBGYN yet?"Changing the subject to something she felt comfortable with Maura had no intention to pull the cover towards her, no matter how many nightmares she had and how intense they were, this wasn't about her.

"No, should I get an ultrasound ?"

"Do you want the short or long version?"

"Do you really need to ask?"

"Alright, short version then, I would recommend that we wait until the 6th week because before that the embryo might be too small to be seen and we might not be able to detect cardiac activity which could upset you, and we wouldn't want that would we?"Speaking of ultrasound Maura realized that this wasn't a dream, Jane was really pregnant and she knew that she would want her to follow her pregnancy closely because she trusted her more than any OBGYN.

"No we wouldn't. Well you're the Doctor, you know best. Actually you know what?I'll make you a deal. I will take all the ultrasounds, blood tests and eat all the prenatal vitamins if you spare me all the medical crap, let's keep this simple okay?"By making this deal Jane was simply trying to avoid long and painful discussion with Maura knowing that she would probably spend hours documenting herself on relaxation, diets or birth methods and she wasn't willing to sit there listening to her for the next 8 months.

"Oh…Okay, I understand you do not wish to know every details of what is happening inside your uterus, but I personally found it fascinating."

"So do I, but I don't need you to feed me with all the scientific bullshit, all I need to know if if my baby is healthy and if he or she is of normal size, you know normal things but I don't really feel compel to know what is happening week by week, does that make me a bad mother?Even if Jane really wanted to keep this baby she had yet to feel the excitement and real interest regarding what was going on inside of her but she knew that Maura would make it a personal mission to make sure she would enjoy this experience fully.

"No darling, I'm the one who's a bit too excited, it's not everyday that you get to follow your best friend's pregnancy."

"Well that's what I love about you, you care, a lot ."

"So you really trust me regarding your and your baby's welfare?"

"Of course I do, I always trusted you with my life, now I trust with my baby's life, no pressure though."Saying those words Jane realized how much she was asking Maura. On top of taking care of her and moving her into her house she had now officially put her in charge of the welfare of her baby.

"Well I'm flattered and I promise I'm going to take good care of you and right now what I want to do is to start packing your things. Come on." Maura enthusiastically said taking Jane's arm, dragging her towards her closet.

Going through Jane's clothes Maura realized the extend of the responsibilities Jane had given her . Even if she was only a Medical Examiner Jane trusted her to make the medical decisions and to make sure her and the baby were alright and that was probably the biggest proof of trust Jane had ever given her. Even if Maura knew she would have not only to find the best OBGYN in town, that she would have to made extended research in order to be fully prepared for the next 8 months and despite her visible fear she was actually excited, knowing that this experience would be something great that would tighten their bond a bit more.

That night Maura helped Jane and Joe Friday pack their personal belonging and drove them to her house. Parking in front of her house, taking a deep breath as she got off the car Maura knew that there was no going back now, that this was really happening and couldn't help but to feel a bit nervous.

"Please would you just let me help you?"Jane said rising her voice seeing Maura struggling to carry her luggage inside.

"No, you take Joe Friday inside, you're pregnant you can not and won't carry heavy things, not under my watch." Maura stated looking Jane straight in the eyes.

"Alright, alright, don't bite me. Come on Joe Friday, she wants to play superwoman, I say we let her." Jane joked opening the door.

"Jane, Maura?"Angela said almost on her way to the backdoor.

"Ma, you're not in bed?" Jane mumbled looking at Maura knowing that the confrontation she has been worried about was about to happen.

"No, I was a bit hungry, what are you doing with those luggage?"

"I ...I have been having nightmare ever since Hoyt attacked us and Jane insisted to move in with me until I felt safe again and you know how stubborn she is, I couldn't say not." Maura explained, feeling her pulse right as what was close to a lit was coming out off her mouth.

"You're such a good daughter..." Angela said pinching her daughter's cheek.

"I know, I'm perfect...How about you go to bed, we got this."

"Alright sweetie, good night." Angela said not trying to understand what was going on. Ever since Maura came into her daughter's life she had changed and if there is something she knew it was that it was useless to try to understand their dynamic.

"How about you go take a shower while I unpack this?" Maura painfully rolling Jane's suite cases towards the guest room.

"Alright Boss." Jane smiled thinking that she actually could really used a shower.

Half an hour later Jane came out off the shower only to find out a fresh pair of pyjama on the chest next to the shower. Quickly getting dressed Jane couldn't help but thinking that this might have been the best idea Maura has ever had. Walking into the guest room a few minutes later Jane found Maura, laying on the bed sleeping, Joe Friday on her belly. Climbing in bed next to her Jane couldn't help but thinking that Maura was basically about to give up her life and personal life to help her and her baby and couldn't help but feeling guilty thinking about what Maura was about to sacrifice to be there for her. Unfortunately Jane needed Maura more than ever, she knew she could count on her family and especially her mother, but for some reason Maura's help was the only help she was willing to accept for now. She knew that Maura would take care of her but would also never hesitate to shake her up a bit if needed. She knew that she could express her fears and weakness in front of her, that she didn't have to put the brave mask she was usually wearing for people, that with her she could be her true self , that Maura wouldn't think less of her, and being petrified as she was right now, being able to be herself came as a blessing. Laying down in bed holding her belly Jane knew that the next 8 months would be hard and also incredible. Thinking about it she realized that she had so many things to do and to take care of, but somehow knowing how organized Maura was fell a little bit less stress and as guilty as she felt to put so much pressure on her best friend she couldn't imagine doing things any other way. Jane knew that for the next few month Maura was going to be her own world, holding her hair during her morning sickness, taking her to the doctor's appointment, making sure she followed a specific diet, that she wasn't putting herself in too much danger at work. Actually thinking about it Jane smiled realizing that for the next 8 months Maura was basically going to be that baby's dad, doing everything a husband would do and somehow it felt so right, much more than it would actually felt if the biological father was around to assume this role. Thinking about it Jane realized that she didn't want him around and actually didn't needed him around, because she had Maura and started to wonder if she should even tell him.

**So guys, of course she didn't abort the child!So do we think Jane is asking too much to Maura?Do we think she's a bitch for preferring Maura to the dad to help her during the pregnancy?**  
><strong>Please give me feedback!I have so many ideas for this story! <strong>


	4. Heart beats

**Chapter 4 :**

**Heartbeat : **

For the next two weeks Maura and Jane slowly settled in their new routine. Obviously the two women had two very different life styles : while Maura enjoyed waking up as early as possible to work out and have a healthy breakfast, as a way to start the day energized, Jane seemed to particularly enjoy waking up at the last minute and going to work without a proper breakfast.

Obviously both women had to learn to live with each other and to make compromises, well at least Jane did. Grateful for Maura's support she tried her best to keep her promise and not to interfere with Maura's advices even if it was sometimes excruciating.

Determined to do her best to help Jane have a healthy baby Maura quickly started to wake her up early right after her work out so they could have a healthy breakfast rather than having coffee and donuts at work. At first Jane couldn't stop complaining about having to eat fruits and drink tea but seeing how important it was for Maura she quickly gave up and actually started to feel more energized.

That morning around 8 am Jane finally woke up after a night spent on Maura's couch trying to close a case.

Even if Maura was trying to make her cut her work hours she knew better than trying to stop her from catching a criminal so she would just sit with her knowing that two brains were far more efficient than one.

"Morning sleepy head, how are we doing this morning?" Maura enthusiastically said as Jane walked into her kitchen her shoes in her hands.

"Not so loud, please." Jane begged sitting at the kitchen's counter immediately burying her head in her arms.

"Are you alright?" Maura asked her hand on Jane's forehead checking if she had temperature.

"I'm fine, I'm just tired." Jane groaned pushing her away.

"I warned you that you would regret staying up until 2 am." Trying not to get offended by Jane's gesture Maura knew that at some point Jane would start being reasonable, that her body wouldn't give her the choice, but in the mean time she was really enjoying lecturing her.

"I'm sorry Maura, you were right but I really needed to read those witness statement again, just to see if I had missed something you know."

"I know, but right now, it's time for breakfast, here." Maura said handing Jane's a fruit salad and a cup of tea.

"Really Maura?Do I have to eat that?" Jane pouted looking down at the mix of bananas, apple and orange slices.

"Yes you do, it's healthy and will keep you going until lunch, and don't think that I will not found out it you cheat later ."

"God woman, you're worse then my mother." Jane replied narrowing her eyebrows knowing that she wouldn't have anything else to eat.

"No, your mother would force you to ask for a desk assignment until it's time for you to go on maternity leave."

"You're right. I'm sorry for being so grumpy all the time, I know you're only doing this to help me and I'm grateful."

"You're just being yourself Jane, don't worry about it." Maura teased smiling at her friend who was obviously still adjusting to her mood swings.

"Hey!"Jane squealed gently pinching Maura's arm.

For the next half hour the two women had breakfast talking about everything but work. One of the rules Maura had tried to impose Jane was not to talk about work during breakfast, preferring to make this part of the day their " little moment."

This morning Maura could see that Jane seemed preoccupied and decided to gently try to figure out why.

"Care to share what's on your mind?" Maura asked as carefully as she could knowing that living together they were already basically 24/7 together and didn't want to invade her privacy even more.

"I was wondering or Frost or even Korsak talked to you about me moving in?"

"Actually they did, they are just a bit concerned, but it's nothing you should worry about."

"They think I'm the one having nightmares don't they?"

"Yes, they think you have been having nightmares since you killed Hoyt and that you are too proud to acknowledge it to them but I think they feel relieved that you at least confided in me and agreed to move in with me so I could help you. I'm sorry they don't believe the story we are telling them, even if it's the truth, at least partially."

"Well, they're not wrong either, I mean I have been having nightmares, but they seem to have disappeared since I moved in with you. How about yours?"

"Same, I have been sleeping much better since you moved in with me."

"Good, I'm glad they're leaving us alone, I mean I hate having to lie to them and making you lie so the more they stay out of this the better."

"You're right, I think they really respect your desire for privacy and they know that you're not alone, that you're with me and that I'm taking care of you and that's all they need to know."

"Exactly, actually I think they gave up trying to understand our relationship , you know some people actually think we're secretly married so knowing that we lived together now probably didn't surprise anyone." Jane joked taking the last bite of her breakfast.

"Well, I think people believe and see what they want to , and I personally don't care much about rumors."

"Me neither, what I care about is having to make you lie, I know how uncomfortable it makes you."

"Jane, we talked about this, technically we are not lying because we both have been having nightmares about Hoyt, we're just not revealing the entire truth and besides, as a Doctor I can not reveal any information about your health without your consent." Her hand on Jane's Maura couldn't admit it but she actually enjoyed being the only one aware of Jane's pregnancy. She knew that as soon as her family would know they would all try to help and overwhelm them and that it would be harder for them to just enjoy this experience together, just the two of them.

"Oh, so this is how you live with yourself?You hide behind Doctor/patient confidentiality, very smart Doctor."

"Exactly, speaking of which are you ready for your ultrasound?"About a week ago Maura had booked an appointment with the best OBGYN in the state and couldn't help to see Jane's embryo and hear its heart beats.

"I think I am, I have to drink lots of water before right?"Even if she didn't want to admit it Jane was actually really worried. She knew that even if she hasn't been sick or anything something could still be wrong with her baby, but she knew that as long as Maura was there holding her hand she would be able to face any news, good or bad.

"Yes, don't worry everything is going to be just fine." Trying to remain professional and reassuring Maura didn't want to worry Jane about every single bad new she could receive today, all she wanted Jane to focus on was the eventuality that they might hear the baby's heart.

"I know. I'm just worried we won't hear a heart beat, but I know….we might not be able to and it wouldn't necessarily mean that there is something wrong."

"I see you have been paying attention, I'm proud of you. And yes not hearing a heart beat doesn't mean there is something wrong, now come on let's go to work alright?"

So that morning Jane and Maura went to work and continued investigating their murder case. Around 2 pm Maura finally came to pick Jane up in the squad room pretexting a dentist appointment Jane had but refused to go to.

Half a hour later Jane was sitting on a examination table ready to have her first ultrasound.

"Jane's it's very nice to meet you, I'm Doctor Thomas, Dr Isles told me so much about you." The female Doctor said shaking Jane's hand.

"What ever she told you it's …probably true." Jane nervously replied looking around her seeing all the degrees on the walls.

"Don't worry Jane, I didn't disclose any information that weren't pertinent to your pregnancy." Sitting next to Jane holding her hand Maura was trying to be her best friend and her Doctor too, which wasn't easy.

"Alright ladies, will the father be joining us?" Dr Thomas asked her eyes in Jane's medical file.

"No, it's only Maura and I and it's gonna stay that way ." Holding Maura's hand looking at her Jane didn't feel the need to have a man with her, she had everything she needed right here.

"Alright, then let's get started."

"Yes please." Maura said feeling a tears in the corner of her eyes as she felt Jane's squeezing her hand.

"Alright Jane, this is your baby right here." Dr Thomas said pouting a small spot on her screen.

"That little peanut?" Narrowing her eye brows trying to spot her baby Jane suddenly felt extremely happy as she finally managed to see the little peanut.

"Yes, it's about 6 millimeters right now." Maura nodded looking at the screen.

"Alright, let's try to find a heart beat now, just give me a minute."

Now squeezing Maura's hand as hard as she could Jane suddenly gelt her pulse rising, her mouth drying up and her hand pounding as she was about to hear the miracle she had created affirm its presence for the first time.

"Is that…" Jane said as she suddenly hear a very distinct, strong heart beat.

"Yes it is Jane, very strong, about 130 bpm. Congratulations."Dr Thompson said seeing the obvious emotion of both Jane and Maura's faces.

"Damn, it's 's beating so fast…"Jane said tears streaming down her face.

"He's a Rizzoli of course he's strong." Kissing the top of Jane's hand unable to hold her tears Maura never felt so overwhelmed in her entire life. Her who was an only child and who hadn't had children yet, had never experienced having a friend , a sister, or even a cousin being pregnant and because it was Jane, this was even more wonderful.

"Considering what you've been forcing me to to feed him with, he's as much an Isles and he's a Rizzoli." Jane joked whipping the tears off her face.

"Well you two of you certainly seem to love each other very much, I'm sure you're going to be great parents." Watching Maura and Jane holding hands as they listened to the baby's heart beat there was no doubt for her that the two women were in this together, supporting each other.

"Thank you." Jane said not contradicting her unwilling to have to explain that she had a one night stand with an old flame and that Maura was the only person she could trust with her baby's life an health.

Still sitting next to Jane Maura didn't contradict it either, as unconventional as it sounded she didn't feel like a future aunt but really like this baby's mother. Unfortunately she knew that as much as she loved Jane she would never be nothing more than a aunt to that child, that it had a second parent, a father and that Jane would never keep it from him.

An hour later after calling Frost to inform him that Jane wasn't feeling so well drove her home.

Sitting on their couch a dvd of the ultrasound in her hand Jane was still struggling to believe it. There was actually a small tiny little human being growing inside of her, another human being who would totally depend on her, on her ability to make rational decisions and to know what was best for him or her. Holding her still flat belly Jane knew that this was going to be a challenge that having this child was going ti change her life, that she was going to have to start to think more carefully, that she couldn't afford to be reckless anymore but somehow it didn't bother her, after years of risking her life on the fields and only living for herself it was time for her to change.

"So that was quite an event…" Jane said holding the dvd in her hand still feelings shiver down her spine.

"Yes it was." Maura replied marveling at Jane's beauty, she was literally glowing, wearing the most beautiful smile. Looking at her friend being so fulfilled Maura had a feeling that this baby might be the best thing that could have happened to Jane and was happy to be there to witness her transformation.

"So about what Dr Thomas said…"Biting her lower lip Jane didn't know how to bring this up or if she even should.

"Yes, I'm sorry I should have contradicted her but I was so absorbed by the heart beats but it was wrong, you're that baby's mother and he has a father I'm just…"

"Stop right here. You might not be its biological mother but in my book you're more then just an aunt to this baby. I know that he or she has a father and I still don't know what part he's gonna play in its life but I know for sure that I want you to be a big part of it."

"And I will be, don't worry."

"No, I mean I don't want you to be the cool aunt who comes for birthdays, Thanksgivings and Christmas and who spoils him or her. I really want you to play an important part in this baby's life and education. Would be be his or her God mother?" Jane asked holding Maura's hand, looking straight in her eyes. Thinking about it Jane didn't know what part the father would play or if she wanted to play any part at all but she knew for a fact that she wanted Maura to be there for the rest of her child's life.

"I….I would be honored. I promise to take care of that child as if it were my own flesh and blood. I promise to teach him values and to always be there for him or her." Holding Jane's hand Maura for the second time today felt extremely vulnerable, invaded by more emotions than she was accustomed to.

That afternoon the two women stayed home watching the ultrasound on Maura's plasma tv over and over.

Maura couldn't help but feeling happier than she ever felt before but was also scared to death knowing that at some point the father would come into the picture. She knew that Jane didn't love him and wouldn't run to live with him but she was still worried to loose her, to loose both of them. Luckily Maura wasn't willing to let anything or anyone came between her and her little family. Over the past years many lovers and criminals tried to come between them but they all failed miserably. Maura was determined to fight for Jane, for their friendship as she had in the past, but this time it was different. Not only she was fighting for Jane but also for that little human being growing inside of her. Living with Jane over the past two weeks, holding her hair every day during her morning sicknesses, taking care of her diet, Maura got used to have her close to her but it was hearing that baby's heart beating so fast that gave her the desire and the strength to be there for them and to fight to keep them with her, even if it means standing up to who ever that father was. Living with Jane and having heard the baby's heart beats Maura was now unable to let them go or to let anyone try to break them up and was hoping that Jane felt the same.

**SO guys, what do you think?Are we enjoying Maura being a pain in Jane's ass?(actually I just watched last night episode of Bones and Maura acts exactly like booth with the fruits lol...I promise I wrote this before seeing the episode!) I don't think Jane can fight Maura on this, I mean it's less painful for her to just give up and do what she says!**

**Also do you think It's too soon for Maura to feel that close to the baby?And how awkward was that Doctor consultation?Right?**

**Thanks for the nice reviews on the 3 past chapters, Im working hard not to disappoint you and next chapter is going to make you laugh, I promise!**


	5. The truth

**Chapter 5:**

**The truth : **

For the next two weeks life went on, Maura was still taking care of Jane who actually had started to get used to be taken care of and had slowly stopped complaining about Maura's diet. The least Jane could say was that her life had dramatically over the past 4 weeks : she had found out she was pregnant, had moved in with Maura and had already started to feel that she was changing. Ever since she had heard her baby's heart beating so fast and so strongly Jane started to be more careful at work, not engaging in any unnecessary dangerous situation, taking a step back in interrogation if she felt that the suspect was going to jump at her throat. For the first time in her life Jane felt compelled to be careful, which wasn't like her. Even if she had people who loved her and who would be devastated she never considered being more careful and expected her loved one to understand that it was just who she was and accept her exactly that way. Today things were different though, Jane was carrying a child , a little tiny human being who could die from a simple punch to her stomach. Even if she hadn't planned on having a child for the first time of her life Jane had decided to be careful so nothing would happen to her baby.

That sunday, after a particularly intense week Jane was laying down in bed picturing herself raising that baby, dreaming about what it must feel like to have that little version of yourself running around and loving her unconditionally. Even if Jane was more of a spontaneous person she had started plan or at least tried to plan the rest of her pregnancy and the birth of her child knowing that it would probably won't go as planned.

Maura too had changed since Jane had moved it and since she had asked her to be the God mother of her child. Unlike Jane Maura always pictured herself with a child but had never been lucky enough to have one . After Ian left for good Maura started to believe that she might actually never find a perfect mate to marry her and to start a family with her. Ian was the only one she had ever pictured finishing her life with and now that he was gone Maura was started to think that helping raising Jane's child was probably going to be the closest she would ever get to be a mom, that being a God mother would have to be enough.

"Hey sleepy head, mind sharing what's on your mind?" Maura asked stepping into Jane's bedroom a smoothly in her hand.

"Is that for me?"Jane pouted, a little embarrassed. Ever since she had moved in with her, Maura has treated her like a princess, cooking, doing her laundry, preparing her delicious smoothies and as hard as it was for Jane to be treated more like a patient than a pregnant woman she actually enjoyed all the intention.

"Yes, it's banana and kiwi, be careful it's very cold." Maura replied sitting on the edge of Jane's bed handing her the large glass.

"That is some good shit!"Jane said taking a sip at the delicious beverage Maura had prepared for her.

"I hope you realize that very soon this baby is going to be able to hear you so how about we start trying to use more appropriate language right now?"

"You're right, once he or she is born I'll have to start watching my language, so I might as well start now."

"Exactly, now do you mind telling me what has been keeping your mind busy?"

"I was making a list of all the things that need to be taken care off and the more I write down the more I feel I'm so not prepared."

"Alright, let's not panic here, can I see you list?"

"Sure…"Jane replied shrugging her shoulders knowing that Maura had probably made a list of her own already.

"I see, maternity clothes, car seat, finding a bigger apartment … well all those things are rather material and practical things."

"Is that bad that I'm thinking about those things?"

"Of course not, but what I would really like you to do is to focus on your health, on eating and sleeping properly and later when the time comes to pay attention in birth class, let me take care of the logistic."Her hand on Jane's knee squeezing it slightly Maura was amazed by how Jane had changed already.

"That's sweet but I won't be living with you for ever, at some point I'm gonna have to take care of myself and my baby you know…"

"I know , don't remind me…"Her head down avoiding eye contact Maura was suddenly stroke with the reality she had refused to face : Jane wasn't going to stay for ever and that simple thought broke her heart.

"Oh Maura I'm sorry, I wasn't implying that I was eager to move out. You know I love it here, you take such good care of us."Jane replied taking Maura's hand seeing the obvious pain in her eyes.

"I enjoy your presence as well, but I know that at some point you are going to feel the desire to be on your own and I have to accept that."

"Well don't worry I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. "

"I know."Maura replied, trying to catch her breath, knowing that she would have at least another 7 months to enjoy Jane's presence.

"So I was thinking about something else. I think it's time we make an official announcement."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, I can't lie anymore it's too hard , I felt compelled to lie until now because I needed space to apprehend the situation and to figure things out but I think you're right, if I tell my family I need privacy and stay strongly on my position there is no reason for them not to respect my desire."

"Exactly. I knew you wouldn't be able to keep that a secret for ever and as much as I enjoy being the only one aware of you pregnancy I know your need your mother ."

"I do, yes. You know in a way she's a lot like you. She is strong and knows how to manage things other people wouldn't even consider as manageable and I suppose I could use her positive attitude."

"I agree, your mother is a force of nature."

"Absolutely, well everything is settled then, how about we invite everyone for dinner tonight?"

"Alright."As proud as she was that Jane was finally ready to make her announcement Maura was also worried of being left appart once every one starts taking care of Jane. After a month of living in their bubble it was time for Jane to open up to the people she loved most and for Maura to accept that she wasn't the center of Jane's world anymore.

Later that day everyone including Angela, Frost, Korsak and Frankie were quietly sitting in Maura's living room waiting for Jane to come out off her bedroom.

"Would you please calm down?They are your family, your friends, they love you and they are going to be thrilled." Sitting on the edge on Jane's bed gently massaging her feet Maura was doing everything she could to calm her down, but couldn't help but feeling the same anxiety. She knew how devastated Jane would be if her family and friends were to reject her.

"I know I just don't know how to answer their questions and how to keep them from invading our privacy you know."

"Well let me take care of that, I will make sure they respect our private space and that they don't ask too much questions, do you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you. I hope you know that even if I'm sure my mother is going to get involved this is still between you and me alright?"Jane knew how involved Maura became over the past month and had no intention of pushing her aside now to make room for her mother.

"I know, but don't worry I know how involved you mother is probably going to be and I'm willing to take a slight step come on everyone is waiting for you."Maura replied pulling Jane out off bed

When Maura and Jane arrived into the living room, they were all there, like a big happy family watching tv, making themselves a home in Maura's house.

"Jane, Maura, it was about time!" Frankie said sitting in the couch with a beer in one hand, the remote in the other.

"Yes, Maura and I needed to talk about something. Well thank you for being here."Sitting on the arm of Maura's couch taking breath Jane was anxious but feeling Maura on her shoulder she also felt supported.

"You're welcome darling, but we all feel that you have something to tell you, would you mind sharing?"Angela said sure she already knew what all this fuss was about.

"Yes, well ...first of all we would like to thank you for your support over the past two months, Hoyt has been haunting me and Maura for so long that we never thought we would see this day coming." Taking Maura's hand looking at her Jane could felt her friend's support in her eyes and even if she felt the entire room was looking at her she suddenly felt more confident, knowing that Maura was by her side.

"Yes, it hasn't been easy but we are fortunate enough to have a strong circle of friends and family who was there for us." Feeling Jane squeezing her hand Maura understood how hard facing them must be for Jane .

"Yes, actually I didn't ask you to come here tonight to tell you about Hoyt. Maura and I have something to tell you, something that you might not understand or approve but we all need you to keep an open mind and to respect us and our privacy." Taking a deep breath looking straight into her mother's eyes Jane was about to make the most important announcement of her entire life.

"Damn, it was about time!"Korsak enthusiastically said looking up at Maura and Jane with the biggest smile on his face.

"What?"Maura and Jane said at the same time looking at each other perplex.

"Vince is right, it was about out, come here sweetheart. Don't worry about a thing, this doesn't change the way we feel about the two of you, we love you and we love Maura too." Angela said, a tear streaming down her cheek.

"What are you talking about?" Holding her mother in her arms feeling her shaking Jane had no clue what she was talking about.

"Jane, I think you mother believes we are dating. "Maura explained slightly embarrassed.

"What?No, Ma, damn you people, Maura and I aren't dating!" Jane replied rising her voice petrified seeing that apparently every one was sharing Angela's thought.

"Then why did you move in with her and why asking us to respect your privacy and your choice?" Frost asked scratching the back of his head.

"Well because... I'm pregnant and Maura has been helping me out ever since I found out."As the words were coming out Jane's mouth she suddenly felt relieved to finally tell the truth after 2 months of lying but also anxious for their reaction.

"You're what?"Unable to articulate a proper sentence Frankie Junior was actually refusing to hear what Jane had just said, unable to believe it.

"You heard well Frankie. Jane is 8 weeks pregnant, don't worry the baby is fine, we actually had an ultrasound two weeks ago and everything was normal. Obviously we hope you will take part in this pregnancy but we wish that you will also respect Jane's need for privacy."Taking a step forward positioning herself between Jane and her loved ones, acting as a shield Maura knew it was time for her to step up and protect Jane.

"My baby is pregnant, I'm going to be a grand mother?"Angela mumbled unwilling to let go of Jane, unable to believe it.

"Yes Ma, congratulations!"Jane replied reading the surprise and disbelief in the rest of her friends' eyes.

"Wait a minute, who's the dad?" Taking a step forward Frankie, with a clearer mind started to ask himself some questions and was determined to get answers.

"That's what I was referring to when I said we would appreciate if you could respect Jane's privacy, she doesn't feel ready to disclose that information yet, even to me and I think we should all respect her choice."

"Who do you think you are Maura?Her personal body guard?Let her speak for herself."Rising his voice disapproving of Maura's protective attitude Frankie took a step further towards her sister determined not to let Maura come between them.

"Knock it off! I'm going to tell you who she is. She's the woman who took my blood and told me I was pregnant, who holds my hair when I puke every morning cause I'm sick as hell, who held my hand during my first ultrasound and who makes sure I eat properly and don't work too much. She is going to be with me every step of the way so I suggest you get used to the idea because she's not going anywhere!"Rising her voice as well slightly pushing him back Jane suddenly felt the need to protect Maura against her brother's attitude.

"Why don't we calm down alright? If you don't want to tell her who the father is it's fine, all we need to know is you are being taken care of."Angela said separating the two siblings.

"I am Ma. Don't worry, when I feel ready I will tell you who he is and I will talk to him, but right now I don't want to have to deal with him. I know it makes me selfish but you have to respect that. Maura is taking care of me and my baby and she's really all I need right now."

"I think we all know Maura has always been all you ever needed ." Angela replied gently rubbing Maura's arm.

"Yes, I mean God I think I never thanked you enough for all you have been doing for me, not to mention lying, which I know makes you hyperventilate."Looking at Maura standing a step back Jane suddenly felt the urge to thank her friend even if she knew she didn't need to.

"You don't have to thank me, I'm only doing what every God mother would do, as for lying I told you I couldn't breach Doctor/patient confidentiality."

"Are you going to be Jane's Doctor?" Angela asked rising her eyebrows.

"No, Jane is being followed my Dr Thomas who's a world class OBGYN but let just say that I'm closely supervising."

"Fair enough, Frankie, how about you you apologize to Maura and thank her for taking care of your nephew or niece...?"Angela ordered pulling Frankie a step closer to Maura.

"It's not necessary Angela really.."Maura replied feeling Frankie relunctantance .

"It is. Look Dr Isles, I'm sorry, I was in shock, Ma is right we all knew you're more than a best friend for Jane and I'm sure that as long you're by her side my nephew or nice is perfectly safe."Frankie apologized.

"We are Frankie, thank you." Holding her little brother Jane knew that she could count on everyone support, well except for Korsak who hasn't spoken yet.

"You're welcome, I wished you would have told me, but I understand that you needed time to figure things out."

"How about you Korsak, you haven't said anything yet?" Jane asked walking toward him.

"I don't know Jane, I suppose I'm happy for you, don't worry Frost and I have your back if you need time off or anything." Korsak finally spoke opening his arm. For the past 10 years he had witnessed Jane becoming one of the most respective Detective in the city but he also had witnessed her drowning because of Hoyt and never thought she would actually consider being a mom.

"Yes we have your back partner, don't even think we're gonna allow you to take any risk with that baby's safety."Frost added.

"Hey, I'm pregnant not sick so I intend to continue to do my job until it's time for me to go on maternity leave. Well I know Maura has me on a short leech but still I don't want things to change or to be treated differently."

"What's that suppose to mean Jane?All I'm doing is looking out for you and your baby!"Maura said sending a disapproving towards her friend.

"I know that darling and I'm grateful. How about we have dinner now?I'm starving."Jane said rubbing her belly.

A few hours after dinner once every had left and while Jane was taking a shower Maura found herself alone in her kitchen cleaning dishes with Angela, in silence.

"Thank you for doing this Maura." Angela simply said looking straight into Maura's eyes.

"You don't have to thank me Angela, Jane is my best friend and after everything she has done for me in the past it was only fair that I returned the favor." Maura replied a smile on the corner of her mouth, slightly embarassed.

"Well we both know gratitude isn't the reason why you are doing this." Pushing Maura a little Angela was hoping for a confession of why Maura was really doing this.

"Well as I said she's my best friend."

"You and I know Jane is more than your best friend. I have spent the last few years observing you two and it's obvious Maura, you are in love with my daughter."

"What?No, I mean, please Angela...Dont' do this. I can't talk about this right now." Leaning against her sick closing her eyes Maura was finally forced to face her true feelings but wasn't ready for it at all.

"I'm sorry Maura, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." Angela replied gently rubbing Maura's back.

"It's just that my feelings have no importance here. What Jane needs is someone to support her and to take care of her and her baby . She has better things to focus on than my probably unshared feelings."

"Oh Maura, don't say that. I know my daughter and from the way she looks at you she shares your feelings. Why do you think she asked you to take care of her? I mean she could have asked me or even Korsak who has been her partner for over ten years but no. She choose you over all the people who love her to help her raise that baby."

"It doesn't matter why she asked me for help, right now she has more important matter on her plate and besides this child has a father and once she feels ready to tell him I will have to accept to take a step back."

At that precise moment Angela understood why Maura hasn't come forward with her feelings yet : she was scared that Jane might go back to the father to raise the baby with him and she didn't want to feel abandoned . It was very clear that Maura was desperately trying to protect and prepare herself to the eventuality that Jane might decide to have a relationship with her ex lover.

"You have nothing to worry about Maura. I know my daughter and I doubt that she's going to keep her child from knowing her biological father, but she clearly doesn't love him other wise she would be living with him not you. You are not going to loose her or this baby once she decides to tell him the truth."

"I know. Can we please not talk about this?As I said my feelings don't matter."Whipping a tear of her eyes Maura was struggling to hide her emotion.

So that night Maura went to bed and cried herself to sleep knowing that now that Jane had told the truth to her family it was only a matter of time before she felt ready to pay the father the same curtesy. Falling asleep that night Maura realized that Angela was right : she was indeed in love in Jane but she also knew that she couldn't get her hopes up, that if Jane had shared her feelings she would have probably came forward by now. Maura knew that what Jane needed was her unconditional support, that it wasn't the right time to tell her about her feeling. So that night Maura closed her eyes knowing it was time for her to face reality and to start considering that this bubble they had been living in for the past month wouldn't last for ever, that at some point she would have to let Jane go, enventually to the father of her child and that was probably the most excruciating thought she ever had to face.

**So guys, God this chapter was poorly written...But I think we all agree that it was heart breaking, I mean even if she knows Jane doesn't love the father Maura is still scared that Jane might go back to him or just leave her at some point and she chooses not to reveal her feelings to keep herself from getting hurt...That is sad right?I think Maura is going to try to distance herself from Jane a bit in order to protect herself...**

**I think the first part of the chapter was funny though, after the obgyn their friends and family thought they were dating...lol**

**As always reviews and feedback are welcome!**


	6. Confrontation

**Chapter 6 :**

**Confrontation : **

For the next week or so Maura tried her best to step back a bit, to give Angela the space and time she needed to take care of her daughter. Actually she was haunted by her conversation with Angela and felt compelled to distance herself from Jane. She knew that Jane would soon have a choice to make and not only she didn't want Jane to feel compelled to choose her because she had supported her but she also didn't want to have her heart broken in pieces in case Jane chose the baby's father. So as hard as it was Maura tried not to get even more attached to Jane and to this baby, to just put her romantic feelings aside and it was tearing her apart.

On the other hand Jane was finally relieved to have told the truth especially to her mother who even if she did her best to respect Maura's role and importance was doing everything she could to support her daughter.

Over the course of the past week since had changed at work, Korsak, Frost and Frankie had made it their personal mission to keep Jane as far as possible from the field and even if she first hated them for it she slowly started to appreciate being home early and being able to spend more time with her mother.

So that night Jane and Angela were quietly watching tv eating pop corn while Maura was in her bedroom reading.

"Are you sure you're allowed to eat pop corn?"Angela frowned puling the large bowl away from her daughter.

"Yes I am, trust me if I weren't Maura would have already barged it and lectured me." Jane replied taking the bowl back on her lap.

"She's taking good care of you isn't she?" Even since she had this open heart conversation with Maura Angela has secretly been hoping that Maura would come forward and confess her feelings to her daughter.

"She is. I think she has a very maternal side which I actually never really saw before. It can be overwhelming or suffocating at time but I think we managed to draw the line between her taking care of us and hovering me you know…"

"I know, all she wants is to make sure you and the baby are healthy so don't get mad at her for being overwhelming at times okay?"

"I know. At first drinking those smoothies and eating fruits was not easy for me you know not to mention the yoga exercises she makes me do every single day of the week but if it makes her happy, than I'm happy to oblige, it's the least I can do."

"I agree, speaking of Maura where is she?There is a fascinating documentary about the french revolution on the history channel. I'm sure she would love to see it." Angela said grabbing the remote from Jane's hand before switching to the History channel.

"You have been living with her for way too long." Jane complained standing up leaning on the hand of the sofa for support.

As she was walking towards Maura's bedroom Jane couldn't help but being grateful with this living arrangement : living with both Maura and her mother has been such a great experience, she felt safe and taken care of and first the first time in her life she wasn't ashamed of admiting it.

"Hey there, you've been awfully quiet tonight." Jane said her head half way through Maura's door.

"I have been trying to finish this book." Maura replied her eyes fixated on her book.

"Patricia Cornwell? Why am I not surprised?" Jane smiled entering Maura's bedroom.

"Well unlike most authors who try to write crime novels she actually worked in a Chief Medical Examiner's office, so her writing is extremely accurate." Maura replied lowering her eyes, feeling slightly uncomfortable as she felt Jane's weight pressing on her bed.

"Alright, well my mother says she's gonna watch a documentary about the French revolution and thought you might like to join her."

"Thank you but I would rather stay here and finish this if you don't mind."

"Have I mentioned it's probably gonna be in french with subtitles?"Jane pouted hoping to make Maura change her mind.

"Thank you, but I'm good here." Her voice a bit more insisting Maura was trying to remain calm but was annoyed by Jane's insistence and lack or respect.

"Alright Maura, what is it?You have been distant this past week." Slowly moving a bit closer to her friend, her hand on her knee Jane was determined to use her best interrogation technique to make Maura tell her exactly what was going on.

"Nothing, I have just been trying to give you time with your mother. " Still avoiding eye contact Maura knew that Jane wouldn't give up that easily and that she needed to come up with something that would satisfy her but who wouldn't be a lie.

"And I appreciate it but it doesn't mean you can't hang out with us, you know my mother loves you."

"I know and I love her as well, but after a month of having you to myself It's only fair that she gets to spend time with you, don't worry. I'm fine."

"Alright, well if you change your mind you know where to find us." Walking back towards the living room Jane was now convinced that there was something wrong with her friend but didn't to push her and decided to respect her privacy, for now.

"Is she coming?"Seeing the disappointed look on her daughter's face Angela knew that Maura wouldn't be joining them tonight and started to wonder if confronting her about her romantic feelings wasn't actually a very bad idea.

"No, she's reading but I feel there is something her with her Ma and I can't figure out what it is." Jane said sitting back on the couch, her hand on her belly.

"Have you talked to her?"

"Yes, she told me that she was just stepping back to allow us to spend time together."

"But you think she didn't tell you the entire truth?"

"Yes, did she mentioned anything to you?"

"I think you should just give her some space, trust me when she's ready to talk, she will." The truth was Angela knew exactly why Maura was holding back but couldn't possibly betray her trust .

"Oh my God she did tell you something, come on Ma!" Jane said rising her voice looking at her mother straight in the eyes.

"Look Jane, I love you but I would never betray her confidence, and besides she's your best friend, you know her better than anyone else. Just think about it carefully and I'm sure you will manage to figure things out by yourself." Seeing her daughter and Maura struggling to reach out to each other was breaking Angela's heart but she knew that they needed to do this own their own terms with no external help.

So later that night Jane went to bed thinking about Maura. She couldn't think of a single reason why Maura was so distant. After an hour rolling over and over in bed for about an hour unable to fell asleep or even think of something else Jane suddenly figured out why Maura has been acting this way. Knowing Maura was still awake she decided to confront her and was determined not to leave her bedroom without a proper explanation.

"May I come in?" Jane shyly asked knocking at Maura's half opened bedroom door.

"Sure, but I thought you went to bed over an hour ago?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Oh, is there something wrong? Are you in pain?"Maura asked bouncing out of bed, immediately reaching out to her friend.

"Hey relax , I'm fine I was just thinking about our discussion earlier and I'm not satisfied by your explanations."

"What explanation?"

"When you told me you were distant because you wanted me to spend time with my mother. I think there is something else bothering you and after talking with my mother I think I know what it is."

"Did your mother told you anything?" Falling back on her bed feeling her heart racing Maura was suddenly faced with one of her biggest fear.

"No, she said she didn't want to break your confidence but that I knew you well enough to figure out what was going on and I think she was right."

"Oh…" Sitting on her bed leaning her legs lifted up against her chest Maura was petrified, scared that she would loose Jane for ever once the truth is finally revealed.

"You took a step back because now that my family knows that I'm pregnant you feel that you don't fit into the picture anymore and you feel left apart."

"Oh Jane…"

"It's alright. I understand, but you should know that you are part of my family and that you're as important for me right now as my mother or my brother. I know I have been neglecting you to spend time with my mother lately and I'm sorry for making you feel left apart. I promise that I'm gonna try to manage my time between the two of you better okay?" Holding Maura's hand feeling her shaking Jane knew that her friend needed reassurance and was determined to give it to her.

"Okay…" Maura sighed looking away knowing that this was far from being the entire truth.

"Wait that look on your face , there is something else isn't it?"

"Jane, please, you know I can not lie…"

"I know that smart pants, and I'm sorry for pushing you but I need to know please."

"It's just…I don't want to loose you or this baby. " Saying those word Maura was finally expressing her own fears out loud, after trying to fight them for so long.

"Why would you loose us?" Feeling that Maura was finally starting to open up Jane knew she was close to the edge and just needed a little more pushing.

"It's stupid, but now that you talked to your family and friends I know it's only a matter of time before you tell the father and when that day comes I'm scared that you will choose him. Satisfied?"Saying those words Maura hated Jane for forcing her to confide into her. For the 7 weeks she had been nothing but respectfull with patient with her and Jane wasn't paying her the same curtesy.

"Choose him?What are you talking about Maura?We talked about this. I am not in love with him and I have no intention of engaging in a relationship with him. I intend to be a single mom and I hope I can still count on you to help me, right?"

"Of course Jane, you know you have my unconditional support, it's just that he has rights that I don't have and even if I love this baby as if it were mine, he is the father and the tree of you are going to be a family even if you don't live under the same roof and I'm just wondering where I'm going to fit in this equation."

"God Maura, after telling me something like that don't be surprised if people think we're dating." Joking Jane was hoping to help Maura let her guard down and was a bit scared seeing her all defensive and agressive like that.

"Would that be so awful? You know what? Don't answer that, I saw your face when Vince and your mother thought we were coming out to them." Getting out off bed trying to get as far as she possibly could Maura was now unable to hide her true feelings.

"Oh, I see, look I'm sorry I reacted the way I did, they just caught me by surprise. I can understand Dr Thomas' confusion but coming from my mother and Korsak I must say it caught me off balance."

"I understand, look it's getting late, let's forget about this alright?" Turning her back on Jane trying to hold her tears Maura knew that if Jane wasn't out of her bedroom in the next 10 seconds she might just explode.

"No, wait a minute. For you to be that mad at me for reacting that way…..Oh my God Maura….." After torturing herself and Maura for hours Maura's terrible secret was finally out and hit Jane in the face so violently that she almost fell of her friend's bed.

"Now can you please leave me alone?" Maura chocked out, trying to breath through her own tears.

"I'm sorry, I didn't …I didn't know I…" Reaching out for her friend, unable to articulate a proper sentence Jane, for the first time since they met didn't know what to say or what to do.

"Just go away now!" Maura hollered pushing Jane away as she felt her hand on her arm.

Paralyzed by Maura's sudden excess of anger Jane had no choice but to oblige and literally stormed out off Maura's room without looking back.

Hearing Jane slam the door behind her Maura fell on the floor, feeling like the earth was suddenly opening below her. Bursting in tears both of relief and pain, she couldn't breath, couldn't think even mutter a single word.

Walking into her room out of breath Jane suddenly fell on the floor as well stroke by an intense and excruciating pain in her lower abdomen. Holding her belly, trying to get up she was paralyzed by the pain, unable to even crawl on the floor towards the door.

"Maura!" Jane managed the yell as she felt a pain comparable to a kife penetrating her stomach cutting off the little air she had left.

Sitting down on the floor almost in a catatonic state, her legs lifted up against her chest rocking herself back and forth Maura was suddenly brought back to reality by Jane's cry for help.

"Jane..."Suddenly standing up Maura didn't know if she had imagined that cry for help or not.

Not doubting her instincts Maura immediately ran off to Jane's bedroom, only to find her laying on the floor, in fetal position holding her stomach.

"Oh my God Jane."Immediately going down her knees Maura was horrified, convinced that she had caused this.

"Looks like the baby doesn't like when his mommies fight."Looking up at her friend seeing the guilt on her face Jane even while being in such terrible pain knew that she had to do everything she could to keep Maura was feeling guilty.

"Shhhh, don't say a word, I'm calling 911. You're going to be just fine." Maura whispered Jane's head on her lap, gently stroking her hair with her fingers .

For the next ten minutes Maura sat down holding Jane's whispering comforting words to her, caressing her hair, praying God to let her and her baby live. She knew she would never survive loosing either of them.

Shaking in Maura's arms Jane was also praying God to let her baby live. Even if she couldn't feel him or her move yet, this baby had became part of her and she had learned to love it, to compromise and had literally changed who she was to protect it. As much as she never really wanted that child Jane was now unable to imagine her life without it and knew she wouldn't survive loosing it.

**Alright guys, this story is going faster than I expected. I always planned on hurting Jane and her baby and on making Maura come forward on her feelings but never tought it would be so soon, but after Angela confronted Maura I think it seems right, **

**What do you think?am I going to fast?Do you think Jane is gonna loose her baby?  
>Come on guys, give me some feedback!thanks for the support! <strong>


	7. Love

**Thank you so much for the reviews on my last chapter, I mean I was unsure of the timing but now I know I did the right thing by making them face eachother so soon.**

**Chapter 7:**

**Love :**

A few hours later, Maura and Angela were sitting at Jane's bed side, waiting for her to finally wake up. Despite Maura's best efforts to keep her awake Jane had lost consciousness while she their in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. During the 15 minutes ride Maura never stopped talking to Jane, telling her to hang on to her voice, that everything was going to be alright, that she wasn't going anywhere and that her mother was right behind them. As they arrived at the hospital and the EMT were carrying her inside the trauma room, Maura found herself paralyzed . She stood there, Angela by her side holding tight to keep her from collapsing, watching the Doctors working on Jane, trying to save her life and her baby as well, unable to even step into the room. Thank fully a few hours later Jane and her baby were out of danger but for some reason Jane was still reluctant to wake up, but at least looked peaceful.

"This is my fault Angela." Holding Jane's hand Maura couldn't stop crying, blaming herself for what had happened.

"No it's not, you did the right thing, you called 911 and you stayed with her. I'm sure she made it because you managed to calm her down. " Sitting next to Maura gently rubbing her back Angela was also blaming herself for encouraging both of them to face their feelings, but knew that this fight hadn't caused Jane to collapse like that.

"It is, I yelled at her, she confronted me about being distant and she kept of pushing me again and again and I just exploded."

"Maura, stop blaming yourself, the baby is fine and so is Jane, I'm sure she's going to blame herself for pushing you like this. You're only human Maura, you weren't ready to confess your feelings and you fought back when you felt trapped ."

"I should have resisted the pressure and understood her need to know. I know I would have drive myself insane in her position."

"How did she react when you told her?"

"I didn't tell her, she figured things out with the small pieces of information I gave her. I pushed her away so fast and so hard that she didn't get the chance to tell me how she felt."

"I...I feel the same." Jane muttered slowly opening her eyes.

"Jane!"Maura let out rushing in Jane's arms.

"Easy tiger..."Snaking her arms around Maura, feeling the tears streaming down on her Jane finally opened her eyes fully and saw her mother sitting there, crying as well.

"You scared us Jane, don't ever do that or I'll kill you myself!"Angela said gently poking Jane's knee.

"Alright, I'm sorry. It won't happen again." Trying to sit up in bed Jane couldn't move, Maura's entire body was pressing on her so hard that she could barely breath.

"I think I'm going to leave you alone and update everyone." Angela said feeling that the two women needed some privacy.

Barely noticing Angela leaving the two women stayed there holding each other for a while before Jane finally broke the silence.

"You're alright?"Looking down deep into Maura's big green eyes, wiping the tears of her cheek Jane could finally feel her friend slowly calming down.

"You scared me Jane." Maura said, slight anger in her eyes.

"I know, What happened? Short version please."

"You had a violent cramp and you passed out from the pain. It happens, take my father for example he was in a car accident years ago and suffered from chronic back pain for a long time and once I found him on our kitchen's floor, he had passed out because of the pain. It's the way our body has to protect itself by shutting down."

"That was the short version?" Jane smiled completely amazed by how adorable Maura was when she was google talking.

"Yes indeed, but you shouldn't laugh about what happen this is serious you could have died and your baby too!"Feeling the tears burning her eyes again Maura was about to cry, again.

"I'm sorry sweetheart for scaring you so much. Will you forgive me?" Jane pouted.

"If you forgive me for pushing you away..."

"I forgive you, actually I should apologize for pushing you so hard. Now that I know what you were hiding I understand why you were holding back. God knows I have been holding the same feelings for so long."After what had just happened Jane didn't have the strength or the desire to keep her feelings for herself anymore.

"So you meant what you just said?"Maura said her face lighting up like a Christmas tree.

"Of course I do, why do you think I told you I was pregnant and why I asked you to raise this baby with me before even considering telling the father?"Taking a deep breath measuring each single word carefully Jane knew this was it : the moment they had been avoiding for years.

"Funny you should say that, that's exactly what your mother told me."

"She knows me well. Look Maura I…"

"No Jane, this isn't necessary what you were about to say is sweet I'm sure, but I think you're just overwhelmed because of the excessive amount of hormones you're producing and I think you're scared of having to raise this baby alone, but don't worry I told you my feelings won't keep me from keeping my promise."

"No Maura, look at me this is me talking, thinking and feeling, not my hormones or my fears. I love you. I always have been and always will. I suppose I was too much of a coward to admit it until now."Looking straight into Maura's eye with the compassion and love that was always so obvious between them, Jane was literally opening up her heat to Maura after years of acting like a coward.

"What changed?"Narrowing her eyebrows Maura understood that Jane was indeed very serious and suddenly felt really stupid for denying her own feelings and fighting them for so long.

"Well getting pregnant changed everything. I thought , actually I obsessed about it for hours, days even and I always came to the same conclusion : you're the only one I want to raise this baby with and having that stuck in my head now it's almost impossible for me to deny my feelings for you anymore."

"Oh Jane, I love you too." Maura finally said pressing her lips against Jane's.

Finally free to express their feelings the two women exchanged the most tender kiss of their life. It was short, but intense, life shattering actually. Feeling Jane's warm lips brushing hers and her tongue gently tickling her lower lip Maura had to hold on the the edge of the bed to keep herself from collapsing. Jane on the other hand feeling Maura's lips shaking immediately grabbed her waist and pulled against her so close that she could feel her breath on her face as they broke the kiss.

"See little peanut, your mommies made up now, so do not scare us like that ever again." Jane joked pressing her forehead against's Maura's looking down at her belly.

"Yes, if you promise to never scare us like that we promise you we won't fight like we did." Her hand on Jane's belly Maura suddenly felt a connection with that baby. She obviously couldn't feel it move but hearing Jane said she wanted to raise this baby with her, as her life partner, not as a God mother or best friend was probably the most incredible thing that ever happened to her and as scared as she was she was also proud and eager to prove herself as a mommy.

Holding each other things finally came to place, Jane and Maura had finally confessed their feelings and it seemed they had figured things out : they were going to spend the rest of their lives together, raising this baby. Unfortunately as seducing as this picture was both women knew that it wasn't realistic. They knew, especially Maura that this baby had a father and that they would have to face him at some point and that denying him the right to see his child growing up would be selfish and unfair him and the child. But right now they didn't want to have to even think about having to share their child with him, or even how things are gonna evolve now. All they wanted was to enjoy this perfect moment they had been waiting for so long. All they needed was to hold each other knowing that no matter what was going to happen in the next few months they were together now and as strong as their friendship was their love would probably be stronger.

**So guys, obviously I didn't kill Jane's baby. I know I focused a lot on Mauras fear that Jane might choose the father at some point but for the next few chapters I'm going to focus on Jane's pregnancy and their relationship but dont worry the dad will show up later to cause troubles!**  
><strong>As always reviews are welcome, I feel so confident and inspired when I receive feedback(positive ot negative! )<strong>

**Spoiler alert : There might be a quick revelation coming in the next chapter, don't know yet :)**


	8. Forgiving and moving forward

**Chapter 8 :**

**Forgiving and Moving forward:**

The next day after staying overnight under observation as a precaution Jane was finally authorized to go home.

After making sure that every test possible was performed and driving the attending physician crazy in the process Maura finally agreed that it was safe for Jane to go home

After spending the night in fetal position snuggled in Jane's arms Maura woke up eager to bring her home and continue to take care of her. Obviously she had no idea what was going to happen now that they had kissed and confessed their feelings to each other, if she could consider them being in a relationship, if they were going to share the same bedroom and tell their loved ones…For the first time in her life the over organized and prepared Doctor Isles had no idea where she was going and instead of being worried she was actually excited.

Stepping into their house holding hands Jane and Maura felt different. Even if they had came home together dozens of time this felt new because they both knew that what had happened last night had changed the game, for ever and didn't know how to play or what the rules were anymore.

"Let me change your sheets so you can lay down." Stepping into Jane's bedroom Maura knew it was way too soon for them to consider sharing the same bedroom, especially the same bed. As eager as she was to fall asleep in Jane's arms again Maura knew they needed to take this one step at the time.

"You changed them yesterday already so don't worry about it." Shyly snaking her arms around Maura's waist Jane was also walking on egg shell. She didn't know how to behave with Maura, obviously after so many years of denying her feelings she was eager to hold her, to kiss her, to just smell her perfume but she knew that Maura would probably want to talk about the kiss they exchanged and define their relationship before taking things any further.

"Well Joe Friday obviously spent the night on your bed and you must know how unhealthy breathing her hair is for you and our baby."Slightly fidgeting as she felt Jane's arms around her Maura took a second to breath, slightly leaning back against Jane, enjoying that moment.

"Our baby? I like the sound of that." Jane smiled kissing Maura's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I meant your baby."Maura mumbled embarrassed feeling she had just made a fool of herself assuming she could even pretend to deserve such title.

"No Maura, look at me." Jane said making Maura turn around to face her. "Our baby okay?I know you're scared that I might change my mind but I won't . To me you're that little peanut's mother, if you want to of course."Placing Maura's hand on her belly Jane knew that it would probably take much more than that for Maura to stop being scared to loose both of them.

"Of course I want to. I love you and I have being loving this baby since the first minute I knew it existed, and I would love nothing more to be his or her second mother, but what am I for you Jane?What are we?"Looking up into Jane's big brown eyes Maura not only needed reassurance but also to put words on what was going on between them, to define it.

"Well we are too old to call each other girlfriends and partners sounds so snob so how about…we don't call each other anything? I mean we don't have to find a name to define our relationship or to explain it to other people. I love you Maura, with everything single atom of my body and I want to be with you and for us to raise this baby, it's that simple, we don't need to put a name on it."

"You're right. I suppose always defining and explaining things helps me understand and act accordingly but I don't feel the need to define us. We know who and what we are to each other and I think we should live for each other not for what people might say or think."

"Good, now can we please lay down?This hospital bed was awful and my back is hurting."Jane pouted.

"Alright, sit right here and take your shirt off." Maura instructed climbing in bed.

"What?"

"Get your mind out off the gutter Detective. I'm going to massage your back, nothing more, so just take off your shirt and sit right here." Maura explained pointing the edge of the bed.

"Right, sorry." Jane mumbled unbuttoning her shirt.

Sitting on the edge of her bed in her bra, feeling Maura's strong fingers massaging her shoulder Jane was slightly uncomfortable. She knew how frisky Maura could be when she fancied someone and God knew she desired her but considering what happened the last time she had sex she wasn't willing to even consider sleeping with Maura right now. She wanted the next time she had sex to mean something, especially considering it was going to be their first time.

To her big surprise Maura remained very appropriate massaging her shoulder and back, pressing her fingers on her tensed areas with precision, without being inappropriate.

Even if the way Maura was massaging her wasn't sexual, it was still very sensual and Jane couldn't help but feelings shivers down her spine and butterflies down her belly. For the past few years she had pictured herself being in her relationship with Maura knowing that it would probably be quite similar as being best friend and knew it would probably be the most natural relationship possible. The thing was Jane never pictured though was the sexual aspect of this relationship. She was obviously attracted to Maura but even if she had pictured herself kissing her and cuddling in bed she never fantasized about her a sexual manner. But somehow Jane knew that she had nothing to worry about that when the time is right Maura would show her the way.

"How do you feel now?" Maura said blowing a tender kiss on Jane's shoulder.

"I feel better thank you. Let me guess you learned that when your dad was sick?" Jane replied putting her tank top on.

"Yes, he hated his physical therapist with passion and would only allow me to massage his back." Maura replied pulling Jane in bed.

"Hey easy tiger, don't forget I'm still recovering."

"Speaking of which, I know you're probably eager to go back to work already but I'm your physician and as such I will not let go back until I'm confident you're ready. Even if what happened wasn't life threatening your body still needs time to recover."

"Actually I don't want to go back to work. I…I was scared to death Maura, I was laying there and It felt like if someone was stabbing me and trying to tear the baby out you know." Jane said resting her head on Maura's chest.

"I know sweetheart, take all the time you need . I'm going to take care of you."Maura sighed stroking Jane's shoulder with her thumb feeling Jane's fear for the first time was a shock and the fact that she actually acknowledging it amazed Maura, it proved that she trusted her and was accepting her help.

"I know."Comfortably settled in Maura's arms Jane felt safe, not only because Maura was a brilliant Doctor but because she knew she could trust her with her life and her baby's life as well. She knew that she loved them too much to let anything happen to them.

"There is something I would us to talk about Jane. I don't know if you're ready for it, but if we really want this to work I don't think we should avoid the subject anymore."

"Let me guess you want to know who the father is?"Jane replied rising her head knowing it was time for her to come clean, to tell Maura the truth, that both of them needed to if they wanted this relationship to be healthy.

"You don't need to tell me, I know who he is."

"You do?"

"Well I can only think of one man who would care about you enough and who would feel involved enough to check on you after you killed Hoyt." The truth was that Maura always knew who Jane had slept with but didn't feel it was appropriate to bring it up until now. Now things different, they were together, they were having a baby together and Maura felt the need to set the record straight.

"Oh, well yeah, that makes sense. If you know who he is what is there to talk about?"Even if neither of them had said his name Jane knew that Maura had analyzed the facts and figured out who the dad was and she was right.

"I would like you to tell me why you sleep with him?Don't worry I'm not jealous or insecured, but you mentionned you weren't in love with him and it's not like you to engage in sexual relationships like that."

"I know, well I don't love him that' s for sure but I do like him. I suppose I needed comfort and he was there, he went through part of the Hoyt situation with me so I guess that at the time he seemed to be able to understand me you know." Saying those words Jane realized how insensitive confiding in him and sleeping with him was. Maura was and has always been the only one who could figure her out, who could calm her down and make her feel better and by going to someone else for comfort was a betrayal.

"So did I Jane, we went through this together. I was there when he escaped, when he sent his apprentices after you and when he almost killed you."Maura said feeling anger running through her veins. Obviously Jane has always been free to sleep with who ever she wanted before they confessed their feelings but this was about sex. This was about comfort and to think that Jane had chosen someone else to comfort her really hurt Maura.

"I know Maura, you know me better than ever he did or ever will and you were in a better position to help me. I don't know why I turned to him instead of you. Maybe I actually needed to release all this hate, frustration and relief in a more physical way that I knew it would have been possible with you."

"Oh okay, so you just needed sexual relief." Hearing what Jane was saying Maura was confused, she didn't know what to believe anymore.

"No, it was about physical relief. I mean I could have as easily go to the gym and work out for hours. I was a nervous Maura and I just couldn't come to you like this. I knew that If I had came to you, we would have talked and spend the night cuddling like we always did but that's not what I needed at the time. I'm so sorry, do you think you ll ever be able to forgive me?" Jane almost begged feeling Maura moving slowly away from her.

"I don't know Jane. I mean I'm disappointed that you chose to open up to him and release your emotion in his arms not mine. I mean If you had come to me and ask for sexual release I would have given it to you."

"God Maura, no no, I would have never come to you for that."

"Why, I thought you had been in love with me for a long time?" Hearing those words Maura was once again hit, not only in her pride, but her fiminity , her sexuality. Jane told her she fell in love with her years ago but she didn't hesitate to look for sexual satisfaction with someone else.

"Exactly my point!I love you Maura, I could have never come to you jut for sex. I always pictured us making love while in a committed relationship as opposed as having sex as a physical release after a trauma. I'm so sorry for betraying you by confiding in him and sleeping with him, can you please forgive me." Jane asked taking Maura's hand, rubbing it gently.

"I suppose I should forgive you and put this behind us. Thinking about it how can I resent you for what happened when it resulted in you giving us a baby?Not to mention I'm fairly certain that none of us would have ever come forward with our feelings if you hadn't gotten pregnant." Maura replied cupping Jane's face in her right hand.

"Have I told you how much I love it when you rationalize like this?"Jane smiled letting out the biggest sigh of relieve possible. One of the reason she hadn't told Maura who the father was because she wasn't ready to explain her behavior. Thinking about it what she did was unforgivable, she had betrayed Maura by choosing him over her, but like Maura mentioned this mistake lead them not only to confess their feelings but to be expecting a child and that was probably what was going to help Jane to forgive herself.

"Not recently, no. Come on just lay down for a while, you need to rest."Pulling the cover over Jane snaking herself around her Maura was still hurt but wasn't willing to let her pain get in the way of their happiness.

That sunday afternoon Jane and Maura stayed in bed cuddling feeling free of secrets and lies and knew that now that everything was finally said they were able to look forward. Even if Maura was hurt by Jane's reasons of behaving like this she knew she had nothing to gain by being mad at her and staying on the past. But on the other hand when she look towards her future al she could see was herself, with Jane raising their baby having the perfect family life she always dreamed about. Obviously Maura knew that the road towards that dream would be long and possibly painful, that she would have to face him, to fight for her family but feeling Jane's arms around her she knew that she had the best motivations to fight : the woman she loved and their child. Picturing the next 40 years of her life with them gave her the strength to forgive Jane and when the time came to face him.

**So guys, maybe you feel it's a bit of a filling up chapter but to me it was important that they talked about Jane's reasons to sleep with him and actually to talk about who he was. I do not wish to say his name(like in the return where Ian's name was never mention until he showed up) but I'm pretty sure all of you know who he is.**

**So Maura is mad at Jane and feels betrayed in several ways but she decides to forgive her to be able to move forward. DO I make sense?**

**Next chapter will be about 2 monts later!**


	9. Responsabilities

**Chapter 9:**

**Responsibilities : **

2 months had passed and Jane was now almost 20 weeks pregnant. After collapsing in her bedroom she had decided to take a little break from work. Unfortunately after two weeks of watching tv and eating a lot she had enough and decided to finally going back to work.

After discussing it Jane and Maura had decided that considering everyone was already assuming they were dating coming out was not necessary. They simply decided not to hide and to hold hands or kiss each other when ever it pleased them, letting everyone draw their own conclusions. Almost two months after their first kiss the new couple was still adjusting to the new turn their relationship had taken. Even if being together was very natural they had decided to take things slow by keeping their own bedroom and by giving each other space when needed. They knew that because they were working, living together and dating they could easily suffocate each other and neither of them wanted that to happen.

So Jane made sure to spend at least once night a week with her mother and another out with the guys. Obviously hanging out at the dirty robber with Korsak and Frost wasn't as fun as it used to be considering Jane couldn't drink bear and wasn't allowed to eat junk food anymore, but it at least gave her the opportunity to spend time with her friends allowing Maura to do things for herself as well.

On the other hand Maura used her "free time" to increase her Obstetric knowledge to be fully prepared for the birth of their child. Maura's OB rotation in Med School was far behind her but she wanted to be able to assist Jane both medically but also emotionally during the most incredible experience of their lives. The past few months had been like a dream for Maura, being there for Jane, watching her changed physically and grow emotionally was a unique experience. From the first moment Jane had reached out to her Maura had made it her personal mission to take care of her friend and her baby, but her almost visceral need to take care of them had especially grew exponentially since they had exchanged that first kiss. For the first time her life Maura was finally able to picture herself with a family : dating the love of her life and raising a child she was going to love as her own flesh and blood together.

Thinking about it Maura was happy and fulfilled for the first time in her life. Her relationship with Jane was very different than her previous ones. After almost two months of dating they still hadn't slept together and had actually not talked about it yet . They obviously spent a lot of time kissing and cuddling but weren't ready to make love yet. The fact that Jane was pregnant actually helped them focus on something far more important than sex.

At first they both thought that things were going way too fast and that they were doing things out of order but quickly realized that there was no proper way or order to do this. Ideally people dated, moved in together and then had a baby, well for them it was different and has unusual or even unorthodox their way of doing things were it made perfect sense to them and it all that mattered.

So that night Maura was getting ready to go to the annual Medical dinner, which obviously didn't interest Jane…at all. Sitting on their couch, a cup of tea in one hand and the remote in the other Jane was watching her girlfriend getting ready, putting one of her fanciest pair of shoes.

"Are you sure you're going to be alright?" Sitting on the their living room table lacing up her shoes Maura knew Jane was upset having to spend the night by herself and already felt guilty about it.

"Oh yeah, don't worry about me, I 'm gonna have so much fun by myself watching TV drinking tea and eating fruits!" Jane replied rolling her eyes.

"You're having your 20th week ultrasound tomorrow, drinking a lot of water and tea is going to help you relax, trust me on this."

"Right, have a good evening." Jane said increasing the volume.

"Oh Jane, if you don't want me to go all you have to do is ask alright?"Maura said kneeling in front of her, placing her hands on her lap.

"No, I'm good. I understand your desire to escape this and to do more exciting things." Jane replied her hands on her growing belly, slight sorrow in her voice.

"Don't be ridiculous, do not think for one second that talking about dead bodies all night is more exciting to me than spending the evening with my family ." Looking up to Jane both her hands on her belly Maura couldn't believe that Jane could even think such a thing but had learned to deal with her mood swings with tact and patience.

"I understand, we both need time for ourselves if we don't want to suffocate each other I don't know why I'm reacting like this." Whipping a tear of her cheek Jane hated feeling so sensitive unable to control herself both physically and emotionally.

"Oh sweetheart, don't apologize, you're pregnant and there are some feelings or emotional reactions that you can not control, but I still love you." Maura pouted hoping to steal a smile from her.

"Oh thanks, for the support and pity Maura!"Bouncing out of the sofa pushing Maura backwards in the process Jane suddenly felt a violent wave of anger invading her and knew it was better for her to just walk away.

"Jane!"Maura muttered struggling to get up, feeling very uncomfortable in her tight dress.

Stepping into her bedroom Jane stopped in front of her mirror, closed her eyes and tried to breath unwilling to cause any unnecessary stress to her baby. The one thing Jane and Maura had in common was their desire to be in control of themselves both emotionally and physically. Unfortunately being 20 weeks pregnant Jane was incapable to control her mood swings, let her alone her feelings of being unattractive and boring. Standing in front of her mirror Jane couldn't recognize herself both physically and emotionally and it was scaring her.

A few seconds behind her Maura carefully entered Jane's room coughing, making sure that Jane knew she was right behind her.

"I'm sorry Maura." Her eyes closed, feeling Maura's breath down her neck and her arms around her Jane suddenly felt much more peaceful.

"Shhhh, don't apologize, I love you and our baby, I hope you know that." Maura whispered kissing Jane's shoulder , her hand on her belly.

" We love you too. Come on you should go now, don't wanna miss your big annual dinner." Jane said turning around.

"I think I'm going to stay here." Maura said leaning against Jane as she took her high heels of.

"No, why?You were looking forward to this dinner."

"There will be another dinner next year and the year after that, but it's not everyday that my beautiful girlfriend has her 20th week ultrasound and I know that if I leave you tonight you're going to get upset and I don't want to do anything to compromise the ultrasound. So I want you to lay down and give me a few minutes to change in something more comfortable." Maura instructed dragging Jane towards her bed.

A few minutes later, her make up undone and comfortable clothes on Maura joined Jane back in her bed.

"Thank you for staying with me tonight."

"You're welcome, so are we nervous about tomorrow?"Climbing in bed next to Jane, Maura naturally positioned herself as closed as she could, her left hand on Jane's belly.

What Maura didn't know was that Jane had forbidden people including her mother to touch her belly, that it not only disgusted her but also embarrassed her to be touch in such an intimate place. With Maura it was different though, she enjoyed feeling Maura's warm hands massaging her growing belly and swollen feet.

"I think we are nervous, I mean I'm 20 weeks long and I still haven't felt him or her kick."

"Well he or she is just a very quiet baby, as long as you can feel it move, there is no reason to worry."

"I do feel him or her moving it's…amazing, I feel like he or she is tickling my belly inside of me you know. It's magical really. " Trying to put words on how she felt Jane's face immediately lit up. There was no precise word to actually describe what she felt every time the baby moved but she was glad to get to share it with Maura.

"I can imagine…So have you decided if you want to know the sex ?"As beautiful as watching Jane's body changing Maura couldn't wait to feel the baby kicking .

"I don't know. I don't really like surprises but I figure it would be nice to find out on D day you know. How about you?"

"I think I would love to know in advance so we could start preparing the nursery you know painting the walls, buying baby clothes…"

"Look at you mommy, all prepared."The thing was that Maura had insisted to take care of everything logistic to allow Jane to focus on her health and she has been enjoying this pregnancy so peacefully that she had actually forgotten that there was a million things that needed to be taken care off before the baby came.

"Well I…I want everything to be ready for the day we finally bring our little angel home, I want him or her to feel comfortable here right away."

"You're right. Speaking of which, I know you want to transform the room between our two bedroom into a nursery but what about us?" Jane said biting her tongue. Even if they were now dating and cuddled and kissed every single day Jane felt that the way they were living further was a lot like during the first month when she moved in, each in their own room. They didn't really look like a couple living together but more like roommates.

"What do you mean?"

"Well we're supposed to be dating but we sleep in separate bedroom and I don't really like it. I miss you at night, I feel so alone and cold when you're not here to hold me…"

"Oh Jane sweetheart, I'm sorry but I thought you needed your own space, that's why I haven't offered you to share my bedroom yet."

"So you want us to share the same bedroom?"

"How can you ask me that?Of course I do. Ever since you collapsed I can only sleep on one eyes because I want to be sure to hear you if you're in distress and need my assistance…"Thinking about that night Jane almost lost their baby Maura's heart started to hammer her chest : the simple thought that she could have missed her cry for help was excruciating, so Maura had promised herself to stay awake as much as possible to be sure Jane didn't need her space, but it was costing her a lot.

"Not to mention that you come check on me at least 5 times during the night…"On the other hand Jane was grateful that Maura was looking after her like that but could see how tiring not sleeping well was for her.

"Yes, It would be much more easier for me to look after you if we shared the same bedroom."

"Oh, so you only want to do this to save you some trouble, because it's more practical?"Jane frowned pushing Maura's hand away.

"Oh no no no, that's not what I meant. I miss you too, having to leave you at night is really hard. I lie down in bed alone thinking about you and our baby, actually it's all I can think about, to a point where I dream of him or her almost every night, but when I wake up the first thing I want is to tell you about it, but I can't because you're not there…"

"Oh Maura, I'm sorry. Look how about we move my things into your bedroom, and make it our bedroom?"

"I would like that very much, but I should warn you that sleeping in your arms I might not be able to …behave if you know what I mean." Maura smile her hand with on Jane's belly.

"Yeah I get that look at me, all sexy and desirable." Looking down at her belly Jane had trouble to believe that Maura could be even remotely attracted to her.

"I'm not joking Jane, I always found you particularly attractive but being pregnant suits you very well." Roaming her eyes on Jane's curves Maura was suddenly extremely turned on, unlike Jane she found her belly very attractive.

"Thank you,but I don't feel attractive at all, look at my belly, I already gained 8 pounds, I can't even fit in my shoes anymore and I'm pretty sure that stretch marks are gonna make an appearance soon."

"Those are perfectly natural phenomenon Jane. You're pregnant, your body is changing every day, but it doesn't make you less attractive, it make you even more sexy, at least in my eyes." Pulling Jane against her gently caressing her belly Maura was determined to show her how desirable she was.

"You're sweet but I don't know Maura, it's not that I don't want you cause trust me I do, I have those impulses sometimes when you touch me, but it's…it's hard. "

"Because we've been friends for so long?"

"Yes, I mean right now things are pretty much the same as before I moved it, except that we make out a lot, but having sex, that would take our relationship to a all new level and I don't know if I'm ready for that."

"Well I understand you're scared to take that next step, but we're having a baby Jane, our relationship couldn't be possibly be more serious than that."

"I know, having this baby together is the biggest commitment possible, but sleeping together, it's a different story, I mean last time I had sex I was out of control, I barely recognized myself and I want things to be different with you. I want it to mean something and I would tell you the same thing if I weren't pregnant."

"I understand and I'm willing to wait until you're ready, I'm sure you'll be even more attractive in a couple of months."Blowing a tender kiss on her girlfriend's lips Maura understood that she would have to wait, that Jane wasn't reasy yet and that it might actually take some persuasion.

"Oh, please stop! I can't even look at myself in the mirror now so I can't even imagine being naked in front of you while 7 months pregnant, I just can't."

"Oh Jane…You are beautiful, your belly, every single curves of your body is beautiful and turns me on to a point I never experienced before, and I'm going to do everything I can to help you feel more comfortable in your new body, do you trust me?"

"I suppose I do…"

"Good, now please try to relax, we have the rest of our lives to think about sex but tomorrow is an important day and I really don't want you worried alright?"

"Yes, thank you." Jane said her head on Maura's chest. Listening to Maura 's heart beating so fast she understood that she was indeed very turned on right now and almost felt guilty for not being ready. It wasn't that she didn't desire as well, because she did, it was just that she remembered being out of control the last time she had sex and wanting things to be different this time. She wanted to make love to Maura not because her hormones were telling her to but because she truly wanted to and because she felt comfortable in her body. Lucky for her Jane knew that Maura would wait and not having to obsess about it really helped her focus on their baby rather than sex.

So the next day Jane and Maura went to see their OBGYN to have the most important ultrasound of Jane's pregnancy : the one who would tell them if they were expecting a boy or a girl.

Laying on the examination table, feeling a bit cold Jane started to picture herself taking care of that baby trying to find out if she'd prefer to have a little girl or a little guy. Thinking about it having a boy or a girl would be two completely different experience : she knew that if they had a boy she would be able to teach him how to play ball, how to ride his bike or how to defend himself . Unfortunately she knew that having a girl would be unsettling for her but knew that Maura would be here to help her with everything she wouldn't be able to handle such as : shopping, boys, etc... Actually thinking about it Jane knew that it didn't matter if they had a boy or a girl that Maura and her were a team, that they completed each other perfectly and that they would be terrific parents.

"Are you still trying to figure out if you would prefer a boy or a girl?"Maura said holding her hand. The truth was that Maura was secretly hoping for a girl she would bring shopping with her and to whom she could teach how to play chess. Actually thinking about it all Maura wanted was to have a healthy child, she was over excited thinking about all the things she would teach him or her and about all the future holidays they would spend as a family. Actually she was excited thinking about all the things she never had as a child that she knew Jane and her would provide for their child.

"I know you want a girl, but I think a boy would be great to, but as long as the baby is healthy nothing else matter right?"

"Absolutely and besides I'm sure this baby is going to inherit your character regardless if it's a boy or a girl so..." Maura teased.

"Hey, what's that suppose to mean?I thought you enjoy my...passionate personality?"Jane replied gently poking Maura's arm.

"Of course I do. So Doctor are we ready?" Maura replied kissing the top of Jane's hand as she looked at Dr Thomas who was patiently waiting for them.

"We're ready. Let see how the baby is doing today." Applying gel on Jane's belly Dr Thomas was amused by how Jane and Maura were constantly teasing each other. After being an OBGYN for over 15 years she knew that having a baby could put a serious strain on a relationship and was happy to see that it wasn't the case here.

"Oh..." Maura said looking at the monitor squeezing Jane's hand.

"What? Is there something wrong?"Jane mumbled a bit panicked.

"No Jane, everything is perfectly fine, the heart beats are strong and regular . I think Maura was just a bit surprised by the baby's size, he or she is a bit over average."Dr Thomas replied.

"Yes Jane, I'm sorry. I didn't to scare you but the baby seems to be at least 27 cm from crown to heels, right Doctor?"

"Yes actually 27.6 which is 2 centimeters more than average."

"Well I'm tall and the father is...well he's not small." Jane smiled immediately thinking that the bigger the baby was the more painful giving birth would be.

"Don't worry about it Jane, it doesn't mean that birth is going to be more painful, alright?Would you like to know the sex now?"Dr Thomas asked adjusting her monitor.

"Yes." Maura and Jane nodded at the same time.

Looking at Maura Jane knew that she would know before her and was actually feeling a bit jealous but also happy knowing that she would be the one delivering the news.

"You're luckily the baby is positioned in a way that makes it very easy for me to tell you...well Dr Isles, would you like to tell Jane?"Looking at Maura Dr Thomas knew that she would me honored to make the announcement herself.

"Yes, we're...we're having a boy."Maura replied looking into Jane's eyes, tears running down her cheek.

"Are you sure? Oh my..."Unable to articulate a proper sentence Jane was overwhelmed.

"Yes, congratulations mommy." Maura smiled pressing her lips against hers.

For the next few minutes the two women stayed there staring at the monitor. Neither of them was able to say a single word, all they could do was look at their beautiful baby boy relieved to know that he was perfectly healthy. For Maura being a mother was a different experience because she couldn't feel the baby growing inside of her but she knew that at 20 weeks the baby could hear her and she was determined to talk to her son every single day so he would recognize her right away when he's born. Looking at the monitor Maura felt something changing inside of her : she suddenly felt responsible not only for Jane but also for that little boy. Even if she had several months to get used to the idea of becoming a mom discovering it was a little boy made things incredibly real : In about 4 months he would be here and he would need her to take care of him, to feed, change, cuddle and to protect him. Thinking about all the responsibilities that came with having a child Maura wasn't scared, it was actually the opposite : she never felt so confident in her entire life. She knew she had what it would take to make Jane happy and to take care of their son. After spending her entire life alone, not having to worry about anybody else, she had finally found something greater than herself to live for : her family and she was determined to do everything in her power to make sure her loved once were happy, no matter what it would take.

**So guys, I think that for the next few chapters Jane is going to start thinking about sex a lot, I can even see a nice conversation with angela on that subject…**

**Anyway are we happy they're having a little boy and that they're now sharing the same room?**

**I know that the past few chapters might have seemed boring but I can't just skip to the drama right?**

**As always reviews are very much welcomed!**


	10. Kick

**Chapter 10 :**

**Kick : **

After their appointment with their OBGYN Maura and Jane went back home, strangely silent, unable to talk, overwhelmed by the idea that they were expecting a son.

Stepping in their house both women were hoping for some quiet time to enjoy the good news and talk about the rest of the pregnancy and how they wanted to re arrange the house to welcome their little guy. Unfortunately Angela was already in Maura's kitchen.

"Ma!What are you doing here?"Jane asked sending a "sorry babe" look at Maura.

"I live here remember?Bass and I were enjoying a snack, I hope you don't mind Maura but he seemed hungry." Angela explained kneeling in front of the imposing tortoise.

"It's alright Angela, I actually missed his lunch time, so thank you." Maura replied her arm snaked around Jane's waist, her head on her shoulder.

"So what have you two love bird been up today?"Angela asked knowing exactly where the two women actually came from.

"You know exactly where we were considering that there is a gigantic note on our fridge, really Maura?"Jane groaned rising her voice pointing towards the fridge.

"Don't look at me like that, you tend to forget things, especially medical appointments and I noticed that posting notes on the fridge helped you remember."

"That's because she spends more time in front of that fridge than any where else." Angela replied winking at Maura. Angela and Maura have always went along very well but had became true friends when Jane and Frankie were at the hospital after the shooting. Spending their days at their bedsides, worrying for them, taking care of them helped create a strong bond between the two women. That bond became even stronger when Angela moved in Maura's guests house. Now that Jane and Maura were dating Angela definitely considered her as her daughter and actually admired her for putting up with Jane's temper especially now that she was pregnant.

"Right, Jane, how about we tell your mother the good news or shall we wait until we gather everyone?" Taking a step towards Jane Maura knew that Angela has been waiting for that moment for too long to keep her waiting but as always didn't want to upset Jane and was willing to make the announcement when ever she felt like it.

"Of course we can tell her. Ma, meet your grand son." Jane replied smiling handing a picture to her mother.

"Grand son?You're having a boy?"Looking at the picture Angela was amazed by how detailed and clear the ultrasounds where this days compared to when she was pregnant herself.

"Yes Angela Jane and I are having a boy, he's perfectly healthy and as you can see on the picture he's actually bigger than average." Her hand on Jane's belly Maura could see how happy Angela was and couldn't help but feeling extremely proud.

"Looks like it, well congratulations. Oh Jane come here."Angela said pulling Jane away from Maura's embrace.

"Here we go."Rolling her eyes Jane knew that now that her mother knew she was going to have a grand son, she would not leave her alone for even one second.

"Maura come here two darling."Angela said opening her arms.

Holding both her daughters in her arms feeling Jane's round belly Angela was happy , proud but also relieved. After watching her daughter being lonely, if not miserable for years she felt that she was finally living the happy ending she deserved, with the woman she has been in love with for years and their baby.

"Ma, not so tight please." Jane complained desperately gasping for air.

"Right, sorry little Rizzoli but we are very affectionate in our family, don't worry you'll get used to it." Angela smile her hand on Jane's belly.

"Yes Son, don't worry, I know I did."Placing her hand on Jane's belly as well knew that this baby was going to grow up surrounded by a loving and supporting family and was more than honored to be a part of it.

"Son?"Hearing Maura call their baby "son" Jane felt extremely happy knowing that she was already considering him as her son despite her fears regarding the biological father.

"Yes son, I have no intention of calling him little peanut,especially considering his actual size." Maura replied her eyes filled up with stars.

"How about little Rizzoli?Oh wait, Rizzoli-Isles, how is this gonna work exactly?" Angela asked scratching the back of her head.

"We haven't discussed that yet, but yeah I supposed Rizzoli- Isles sounds fair, I'm sure your father would like his grand son to have his name right?"

"Yes, considering he is an only child and all his male relatives are deceased it would make him happy and proud to know that our name won't die with me." The simple thought of giving her name to that baby reassured Maura on Jane's intention to make her the only parent to raise that baby with her.

"Then it's a done deal…Little Rizzoli-Isles." Jane replied kissing Maura's forehead.

"Good, good, I'm sure that after such emotions you must be starving…I made your favorites muffins." Angela pouted looking at Maura knowing she was the one deciding of Jane's diet. Actually the fact that Jane was always complying with Maura's desires always amazed Angela because she knew that Jane hated receiving orders and didn't like to compromise either but with Maura it was different though, she always tried her best to make Maura happy even if it annoyed her at times.

"Well I suppose one muffin wouldn't hurt, but only one, I trust you." Maura replied.

"Are you going somewhere?"

"Yes, I need to take some measurements for the nursery and besides I'm sure you could use some private time together."

"Alright, have fun…measuring…" Kissing Maura, her arms around her Jane was barely able to let her go, all she wanted right now was to lay in bed with her and talk about their son, but Maura was right Angela and her could use some mother/daughter bounding time and Jane actually had the perfect conversation topic in mind.

Watching Maura walking away Jane knew that now that they knew they were expecting a boy she would not rest until the nursery was complete. As ridiculous as she thought Maura's need to organize and prepare everything in advance was Jane knew it was her way of reassuring herself, that by controlling the material and logistic aspects of her pregnancy Maura felt more prepared for the arrival of their child and was happily playing along, letting her make all the decisions.

Settling on the couch with a cup of herbal tea and her muffin Jane didn't know how to bring up that subject that has been on her mind lately.

"So, a little boy hum?You must be thrilled?"

"Yes, obviously I would have be as happy with a little girl, but yeah I'm happier than I have never been really."Jane replied her hand on her belly feeling the baby move inside her belly.

"So there is nothing bugging you?"

"Actually there is something but I don't know Ma…I mean it's not the kind of things I usually talk about even with Maura…"

"Oh I see this is about sex."

"Really Ma?Can't you talk louder I'm sure Maura didn't hear you!"

"I'm sorry darling, but you shouldn't be embarrassed to talk about sex with Maura. She's your life partner, the mother of your child, not to mention she's a Doctor and she's probably more competent than me to reassure you if you are worried that having sex might be dangerous ."

"What? No, It's not about that. I know that there is no reason for us to heart him if we were actually having sex." Jane grinned biting her lower lip.

"Oh…But you have been together for well two months now I thought you…you know had already slept together. "

"No, actually we just decided it was time for us to share the same bedroom and that's the problem Maura implied that sleeping in the same bed might ignite her desire even more and make it harder for her to refrain herself. "

"I can understand that, sleeping in each other arms, sharing that kind of intimacy and physical proximity will for sure increase the desire. Don't you desire her as well?"

"Oh I do trust me. I mean, I'm madly in love with her and we're very happy not to mention those hormones drive me nuts, but I don't know I just don't feel comfortable."

"Is it because your body is changing and you gained weight?"

"Partially, I know that Maura loves my belly and my curves but I still don't feel comfortable, maybe it's because we were friends for such a long time that makes it hard for me to see her sexually I don't know…"

"I see your point. You know what I think?I think that the two of you have been focusing on your baby and on making this pregnancy go as smoothly as possible and you started to neglect yourselves. You're women before being mothers and you're a couple before being parents."

"You're right, we actually never talked about sex before last night. I mean we're so obsessed about our son that we forget to focus on our relationship."

"Exactlly and you know a lot of couple don't resist the arrival of a child because the parents start neglecting each other to take care of the child. Considering your relationship just started you should really focus more on yourselves because I"m sure that after talking about it you will feel how much she loves you and stop worrying about your appearance or your hormones."

"You're right, if we had talked about this before I might have felt ready by now and as much as I love our son I have been waiting to be with Maura for too long to neglect her now that we're finally together "

"Exactly, you and Maura have lost enough time."

"Thank you Ma."

"You're welcome dear."

After finishing her conversation and her muffin with her mother Jane went to check on Maura and found her in the future nursery a note pad in her hand. Unwilling to disturb her Jane decided to settled in their bedroom with on of those parental advice book Maura had gotten her.

"I see you're finally reading the books I got you."Maura finally spoke after spending a few moments observing Jane laying down in bed the book in one hand and talking to the baby as she was reading.

"Yes, I saw how absorbed you were in there and didn't have the heart to disturb you."

"Well I came up with a few ideas but it's a surprise so don't even try to use your interrogation techniques on me because I'm not going to tell you anything." Maura replied crawling in bed.

"Oh…I thought you would want to hire a fancy interior designer."

"No, I have every intention to take care of that nursery myself . The only problem I have is the store I want to purchase everything from is in New-York and has serious back orders so I might have to order everything right away if we want everything to be ready on time."

"Oh come on Maura we don't need to order everything in one of your fancy stores in New York. You know it's only a nursery I'm sure we're gonna have to redecorate it soon enough."

"Don't argue with me. Our son deserves the best and I'm going to make sure to provide him with the best money can buy, alright?"

Like if I could ever stop you from doing anything."

"Exactly, so how is your reading going?"

"Good, but I don't want to talk about breast feeding and sleeping patterns right now." Jane replied closing the book, leaving in on her night table.

"Good because there is something I have been dying to do since we came back." Sliding closer to Jane attacking her neck not giving time to Jane to rise any objection Maura was determined not to hide her desire anymore.

Feeling Maura's lips tickling her neck and her hand dangerously sliding under her tank top Jane could feel Maura's burning desire and determination but despite her recent conversation with her mother was still unsure.

"Wait." Jane uncomfortably said trying to gently push her girlfriend away.

"Jane, look at me I love you and I love our son but the way I see it we only have two options." Pausing for a second, considering every single word she was going to say Maura knew how scared Jane was and as frisky as she was still wanted to give her the choice. "If you really don't feel comfortable with your body we can wait until after you give birth or you could just trust me when I'm telling you that you're beautiful and that I love every single curves of your body." Wandering her hand on Jane's round belly Maura for an unknown reason was actually extremely attracted by Jane's belly to a point where touching it aroused her to a point she never experienced before.

"I…Oh God did you feel that?"Her eyes wide opened looking down at her belly Jane suddenly felt their son kicking for the first time.

"Yes I did."Maura nodded moving her hand on Jane's belly trying to feel another kick.

"Here."Placing Maura's hand on the upper part of her growing belly Jane was lacking words to describe how she was feeling. After weeks of feeling him move the baby had now decided to announce his presence by kicking her, repeatedly and hard.

"I think we might have a future soccer player here, that or he actually agrees with me."Moving toward Jane's belly Maura smiled, happy to see that her son was on her side and that he choose that precise moment to make his first appearance.

"Alright alright, I suppose If both of you are against me I have no choice but to surrender."Stroking Maura's hair with her fingers Jane finally realized that she didn't have to be scared of taking their relationship to the next level. Angela was right : they had lost enough years already being scared to be together, to open up to waste anymore time now.

"Right, right." Her head and right hand on Jane's belly Maura suddenly forgot was that conversation was, about all she could focus on was that first physical contact with her son.

As much as she loved seeing Jane pregnant and no matter how much she talked to the baby Maura always felt a bit envious of the physical bound that existed between Jane and the baby. Luckily now that the baby was finally kicking Maura knew she was finally able to establish a connection with him, trying to make him react to her voice

Admiring Maura trying to make the baby kick more Jane suddenly fulfilled for the first time in her life : after years of denying her feelings for Maura they were finally together and were expecting a child together.

"I think we should go away for the week end." Maura finally spoke.

"I think that's a great idea, we could make an announcement tomorrow morning and leave afterwards."

"Anouncement, are you sure you're ready for that?"

"Yes,I'm tired of referring to him as "it" and besides you know my mother, she can't keep a secret."

"Alright then. Don't worry I know just the perfect place for our romantic get away, I mean if you still want it to be romantic." Maura mumbled unsure if Jane really meant what she said earlier.

"I meant what I said, it's time I surrender and start trusting you. Ma is right we lost too many years being scared and I don't want to miss on us Maura, not anymore."

"Me neither Jane." Maura sighed pressing her warm lips against hers.

**So guys, our ladies are finally going away for the week end to finally consumate their relationship...well that's what they had planned but you know me, you never know where or when drama is gonna hit right?next chapter is gonna be awesome, trust me! I have had this chapter in mind since day 1!  
>As always your feedback encourages me to write faster and better chapter so don't hesite to drop me a line or two:) <strong>


	11. Mama Bear

**Chapter 11 :**

**Mama Bear : **

The next morning the two ladies woke up early determined to leave for their romantic gateaway as soon as possible. Standing in front of her wardrobe trying to find the most appropriate outfits to pack Jane was a little nervous. She was obviously no virgin but she felt that making love to Maura would be like her first time. Standing in the middle of their bedroom Jane started to remember her first which was everything but romantic or enjoyable but knew that this time would be different, not only because she was older and had more experience and knew her body better but also because she was going to take that step with the only person on earth who knew her completely.

"Do you need any help in there?" Maura said stepping into their bedroom.

"Nah, I mean God Maura, I'm only 5months long and none of my regular clothes fit me anymore, not that I don't enjoy being in baggy and cargo pants but it's not very sexy."

"Oh Jane, you should know by now that I don't care about that and besides I'm not planning on letting you keep your clothes on this Week end." Maura said snaking her arms around Jane's growing belly.

"I think It's going to take me time to accept that the thought of me naked and pregnant turns you on that much." Leaning bak against Maura feeling her hands on her belly Jane started realize that her belly was actually really turning her on that she wasn't always touching it as a way of connecting with the baby.

"Well take all the time you need, in the mean time I don't mind seeing you wearing baggy clothes, as long as you're comfortable but how about we go shopping for some maternity clothes next week?"

"I don't know those are always so ugly, I'm gonna look ridiculous!"

"Not when you know where to shop darling, don't worry I'll take care of it if you don't want to come with me."

"Thank you, so we're really doing this hum?"Jane said walking towards their bed.

"Not if you don't want to..."

"No I do, I'm ready and besides I want enjoy you while I can before I'm too fat to even walk around without help, not to mention that after the birth it might take a while before I'm physically ready to have sex again, not that we'll have time anyway."

"Wow, Jane, relax. I think I made a mistake by giving you those books to read, but you're right once the baby is here we won't have a minute for ourselves so we might as well enjoy ourselves while we can. As for the post natal pain, well we have time to think about it."

"Alright, I trust you. I can't wait to finally get away , are you ready to go to the station?"

"Yes I am, let's go."

Half an hour later the two ladies arrived in the squad room holding hands and immediately saw that Frankie, Frost and Korsak were already gathered around her desk.

"Wow, looks like every one is already here."Jane nervously grinned squeezing Maura's hand.

"Dr Isles called us saying you had an announcement to make, right Doc?" Korsak said standing up his hand in his pocket.

"Yes, Jane, do you mind if I tell them myself?" Maura asked, placing her hand on Jane's belly looking up to her for approval.

"Of course not, go ahead." Jane replied seeing the excited look on her girlfriend's face.

"Thank you. Well Jane and I went to see our OBGYN for the traditional 20th week's ultrasound and we discovered that we were expecting a little boy."

"Oh...Great, I mean another Rizzoli!Congratulations sis!"Frankie said opening his arms to welcome his sister.

"Yes congratulations!" A familiar voice said a few steps back behind them.

At that precise moment the entire squad room went silent forcing the the group to turn around towards the familiar voice.

"Agent Dean." Maura said her breath almost instantly cut off as she was finally faced with her biggest nightmare.

"What are you doing here?" Jane asked her eyes wide opened taking Maura's hand determined to set the record straight right away.

"Well I saw you on the news the other day escorting that child molester to court and I first thought that my I needed to have my eyes checked and than I realized I was in fact not hallucinating." He grunted narrowing his eyes as he walked towards Jane.

"Alright, how about we go down to my office so we can talk about this more privately?" Maura offered positioning herself as a shield between Jane and him.

"Why?It seems that the entire city knows already so why don't we do this right here right now?"Looking around feeling eyes on him Agent Dean felt like a complete idiot, because he knew that the entire departement knew.

"Dean, please, I know you're mad at me for not telling but acting like this isn't you. I'm asking you please, do not cause a scene here." Jane quietly said gently pushing Maura aside determined to speak for herself.

" So this is really my son you're carrying?" Agent Dean replied, his voice slightly shaking as he approached his hand towards Jane's belly. As angry as he was at Jane looking down at her round belly all Dean could feel was pride.

"Yes you are the biological father but Maura and I are together now and…" Taking a step back the last thing Jane wanted was to feel his hand on her, again.

"Excuse me?Are you trying to tell me that you're gay now?"Hearing that the woman he loved who was carrying his son had decided to swap team was inconsiderable , not after being with him.

"Yes. I'm in love with Maura and she's in love with me and we are going to raise this child together."

"No, you are going to raise that child with me because you and him are mine not hers. Don't you remember how good it felt when we were in your bed and I was inside you, how loud you screamed my name and how many times you asked me not to stop and to go harder?" Trying to provoke Jane and hurt Maura Agent Dean was no longer the sweet, gentle man Jane used to have a crush on.

Standing a few feet from him, hit right in the face by his words Jane was suddenly sent right back to that night. She remembered drinking, alone trying to get that image of Hoyt hurting Maura off her head. The last thing she remembered after that was opening the door an welcoming in . What happened after that was still a blur, she could only remember a few glimpses, a few words, and sensations. She could vaguely remember his lips on her neck, his hands on her breasts and his penis inside of her. Looking back Jane felt that he really took advantage of the situation, of the fact that she was not only slightly inebriated but also completely lost and vulnerable. What happened that night was actually the most terrible sexual experience of her life, not only because she was half aware of what was going on but also because she felt betrayed by a man she thought loved her. Now that man was trying to take hurt Maura, the woman she loved and who never judged her for her actions, who never tried to take advantage of her.

"Enough!" Maura suddenly hollered pushing him a step back. "You Agent Dean just crossed the line of what is appropriate so you will leave our presence now. Jane will contact you later once you calm down if she decides she wants to. "Looking him straight in the eye Maura had enough, she was not going to let him insult and disrespect Jane like that.

"Or what Doctor? Are you going to try to keep me away from my girl and my son?"

"Jane isn't yours, she never was and never will be and that child is my son as well, Jane chose me to raise him with her and I intend to do everything in my power to protect my family."Feeling the two people she loved most being attacked Maura was suddenly overwhelmed by a strength and courage she never though she possessed.

"Are you threatening me ?" Rising his voice looking down at Maura Agent Dean was one step closer to attack her physically but knew that he couldn't do that, not in a squad room.

"No, I'm just telling you that I'm willing to take any measure I see fit to make sure Jane and my son are safe and as you know my family's power and resources are almost unlimited."

"Jane?Are you going to let her do that?"

"You heard her, I have no intention of keeping you from seeing that child, but if you persist being disrespectful like this I won't have a choice. So please go, I will contact you later."As much as she hated him for acting like that not only Jane could understand his anger but wasn't willing to keep her on from knowing his dad .

"If you think you're going to take that child away from me you're wrong. I don't care how rich you are Dr Isles. I won't go down without a fight."

"What makes Dr Isles rich and powerful isn't her money, it's her friends and family who are willing to stand by her , so if you want to fight , be my guest we'll be here." Korsak suddenly said taking a step towards him looking him straight in the eye, showing him no fear.

"Yes, we'll be here, all of us." Frost added standing next to Maura his arms crossed on his chest.

Feeling physically protected by all the people she loved Jane wasn't scared, she knew that none of them would ever allow Dean to come near her baby if she didn't want to. Observing them standing as a shield Jane knew that as long as they were in her baby's life the little guy would have all the masculine presence and influence he needed and that if Agent Dean continued to act like a jerk it would have to be enough.

"Fine!" Dean yelled storming out of the squad room.

"Oh boy." Jane suddenly let out falling back on the chair behind her.

"Jane, you're alright?"Maura asked kneeling in front of her.

"Yes, our son really doesn't like when we rise our voices. Oh Boy." Jane said feeling the baby kick so hard that it made it hard for her to breath.

"Alright, would you please stop kicking your mommy? I'm here and I promise I won't let him come near you ever again so just calm down please." Both her hands on Jane's belly Maura was desperately trying to calm both of them down.

"Oh thank you…Looks like your voice calms him down, guess who's gonna wake up during the nights?"Jane smiled feeling the baby slowly calming down.

"I will don't worry, let me take you home now. "

"Let me help you here Doc." Korsak offered wrapping Jane's neck around her neck as he tried to pull her up.

"Thank you." Jane smiled looking up at him.

Half an hour later Jane and Maura were finally home sitting on their couch with a hot cup of tea warming them up.

"How are you feeling?" Maura asked her hand on Jane's thigh.

"I'm good, thank you."Taking a sip at her tea Jane was finally not feeling the baby kicking or even moving anymore.

"I'm so so sorry for causing such a scene, I didn't mean to upset you or the baby."

"Don't worry about it he came at us first. I was hoping we could settle this as civilized human beings, but he's obviously determined to make our life a living hell. I'm the one who should be sorry. If I had told him earlier maybe he would have reacted differently."Thinking about it Jane could understand his anger, she was 20 weeks pregnant and actually had no intention of telling him she was pregnant until the baby was born. For the past 5 months she had postponed the inevitable, selfishly focusing on her and on her relationship with Maura without even considering how he would feel. She always knew that she was going to raise that baby with Maura but almost forgot or rather chose to ignore the fact that Dean had as much rights on their son as her. Now she was finally face to the reality and knew that her mistake was going to hunt her possibly for the rest of her life.

"I think his anger was directed towards the fact that you decided to raise his son with me rather than with him and considering he's obviously in love with you, his pride must have been hurt. I can understand that."

"I never thought he would react like that. I really thought he was a good guy, I really liked him you know, a lot actually."

"I know but a man confronted to the idea of loosing his child and the woman he loves can unfortunately became irrational even dangerous, but don't worry I won't let him come near you ever again, I promise."

"I know, I just hate that you had to stand up for me like that. I can take care of myself." The truth was that Jane never felt so vulnerable since she found out she was pregnant. One the good side she had became more cautious at work but on the other hand she felt weak, being that scared that something was going to happen to her or her child kept her from doing her job and living the way always did and that wasn't something she was comfortable with. Luckily for Jane asking Maura for help wasn't as humiliating as she first thought it was gonna be, living with her, dating her, Jane realized that she had no choice, that if she wanted this to work she would have to trust her and to delegate to her and allow her to take care of her and to protect her.

"I know that Jane, I'm sorry if I hurt your pride by standing up for our family, I just couldn't let him disrespect and threaten you like this."

"Yeah, about what he said…"

"It's alright, I knew you had sex with him, I suppose I just didn't need to hear the graphic details." Avoiding eye contact Maura was immediately hurt. Even if that love making session had given her son hearing the graphic details was excruciating.

"OH babe, I'm sorry, you know he's a guy, he slightly exaggerated the reality." Even if she had told her what happend and how they ended up in bed Jane had never told her about how miserable she felt during the actual act, how that even if she felt relieved she also felt miserable while feeling him on top of her and she obviously never told her that she actually cried herself to sleep afterwards.

"So you didn't enjoy it?"

"I…it wasn't about sexual satisfaction, I wasn't looking for pleasure but relief, physical relief. Trust me I get more excited when you kiss me and have your hands on my belly than I was when I was with him." Placing Maura's hand on her belly Jane wasn't ready to share her pain with Maura just yet.

"Thank you, I suppose I needed to hear it."

"I understand, look Maura I hope you know that the fact that he's here now won't change anything : you are the one I love and the 3 of us are a family alright?"

"I know but will you allow him to see our son?"

"I wanted to give him visitation rights but considering how rude and threatening he was I think that I don't want him near our son. I'm sorry for putting you in the middle of this."

"Don't apologize that's what I'm here for, just tell me what you need me to do."'

"I hate having to ask for help you know that but If I start playing his game I know that I'm gonna get upset and I don't want to do anything to upset our little guy. So do you think one of your fancy lawyer could help us out?" Jane pouted.

"Don't worry about a thing, I'm going to take care of this, would you like me to ask my lawyers to file for sole custody?" Even if Maura knew how hard it was to grow up without knowing your biological parents she was determined to use all her ressources to make sure Dean would never come near her son, not because she was scared of loosing him and Jane but because she knew he wouldn't be a good influence on him.

"Oh God Maura that sounds terrible, this isn't me. I'm not the kind of woman who would take a father away from his child..."

"I know but we have to do what's best for him, I agree with you the ideal would be for him to be adult enough to accept our relationship and to agree on visitations but it doesn't seem to be what he wants. I'm sure he's going to try to file for sole custody as well."

"That's exactly the feeling I received from his behavior, oh Maura what if he wins?"

"Shhh, I promise you he won't win, he does not have the ressources to fight us on this, so just relax and let me handle this."Pulling Jane against her Maura suddenly started to understand what it meant to be a parent, to be scared for her family and to be willing to loose everything to protect them.

"Alright, God I hate that we have to use your money to solve this."

"Well I don't particularely appreciate using my influence or connections either but in this case I will not hesitate. No one is taking my family away." Kissing Jane's forehead holding her against her Maura knew that the next few weeks, possibly months would be hard and was determined to carry the weight of that fight on her shoulders. She knew that even if he didn't have the ressources she had Agent Dean would certainly find a way to at least drag things for as long as possible and she really didn't want Jane to have to worry about it.

So that day Maura and Jane didn't go for their romantic gate away as planed, but instead stayed home holding each other thanking God for giving them a family . Her hand on Jane's belly feeling her falling asleep Maura couldn't help but feeling a strong connection to that child. Even if she was a scientist she could swear that the baby calmed down when he heard her voice and as much as she hated having to take him away from his biological father she knew that it was the best thing to do. Feeling her family attacked suddenly turned the usually, polite, politically correct Dr Isles into a dangerous, protective mama bear who was willing to do what ever it would take to protect her family from getting hurt. Obviously she knew that agent Dean wouldn't give up custody that easily, that he would never agree to give sole custody to Jane, but she was determined to win this, and to make sure he wouldn't even have visitation rights. As much as she hated it Maura knew that she was probably going to have to do more than sending him an army of lawyer to make him back down, that fighting him in court could take months and that this amount of stress could hurt Jane and their son. So Maura finally surrounded to the idea that she might have to attack him in a more efficient and direct manner using information she had gathered over the past months without telling Jane. Yes for the past few months, expecting this confrontation Maura had gathered enough compromising information on Agent Dean to make sure he would never be able to take her family away from her. As guilty as she felt for doing this she knew that asking him nicely or even threatening him without leverage wouldn't be efficient and she was determined not to drag Jane into an endless custody battle.

**So guys, I have had this chapter in mind for a long time and I hope you liked it! I know we all hate Dean but he's not that bad right?Well in my story he is!So how do we like Mama Bear Maura?We all know she can't lie but technically this wasn't lying, don't worry she's gonna come clean to Jane about the intel she had gathered on him ... I can totally picture Maura going to him with the information she has on him instead of calling her lawyers...What do you think?**

**PS : I love you too Kayla. The more heinous reviews you post the more YOU look like a low life looser :) so go on, I'm actually enjoying it. I feel so good about myself and my writing that nothing you can do can make me loose my cool :)**


	12. Fight for your family

**Chapter 12 :**

**Fight for your family : **

That night Maura barely slept but instead spent the night considering her plan to make sure her family was safe. At first Maura couldn't bear the thought of having to share her son with Dean but as an adopted child knew that not knowing where he came from might hurt her son someday and couldn't help but hoping that Agent Dean would come to his senses and agree to sort this out as an adult. Unfortunately Maura had a feeling that he wouldn't accept defeat that easily, that not only he was pissed at Jane for hiding the truth but also for choosing to raise their child with her instead of him. So as hard as it was Maura started to reconsider all the compromising informations she had gathered about him a few months ago hoping she would never have to use them.

So that night unable to fall asleep Maura started to talk to her son to explain to him what she was about to do and why, hoping that he would understand.

"You know I never wanted to keep you away from him. I'm adopted and until recently I didn't know who my birth parents were. I hope that your father comes to his senses and agrees on regular visitations but if he doesn't I promise you that I will be the best mother a child can have. I know that once of the reason I always wondered who my biological parents were was because my adoptive parents neglected me. I promise I won't be like them and that I'm going to take care of you and of your mommy for the rest of my life. I hope that one day you will understand and forgive me for what I'm about to do." Her head on Jane's belly Maura could feel the baby slightly kicking as she was whispering those words.

"Don't worry about that, I'm sure he'll understand." For the past few minutes Jane has been faking being asleep to listen to Maura , once again talk to their baby. Listening to Maura apologize to their son Jane had a feeling that she was about to do something that was probably going to make her feel guilty for the rest of her life.

"You…you're awake." Maura mumbled rising her head.

"Yeah, you know how much he kicks when he hears your voice, it makes it impossible for me to sleep."

"Oh I'm sorry I just..."Seeing that Jane was awake Maura was terrified that she might have heard her talking but was also relieved because she knew that she couldn't keep her plan for herself any longer.

"Needed to talk to him?"Stroking Maura's hair with her fingers Jane was amazed by how maternal and carrying she was , more she ever was and ever will be herself and knew that without her support she would have probably gone through the abortion.

"Yes. I know that even if he can hear me that he doesn't understand my words and won't remember them but…"

"There is no but even if he doesn't understand what's you're telling him, he recognizes your voice and I bet that as soon as you hold him in your arms he's going to recognize your voice and feel safe."

"I hope so. Anyway how much of that private conversation did you hear?"

"All of it. So tell me Dr Isles what kind of plan do you have in mind that makes you feel so guilty?"

"I…I'm sorry Jane I…" Rolling on her side rubbing her face with both hands Maura was scared to death to loose Jane if she told her what her plan was, God knows she could barely live with what she has been on planning to do for the past few months.

"Hey, Maura, I promise I won't get mad at you so just tell me what you're planning on doing alright?" Jane replied cupping Maura's face with her left trying to make her look at her in the eye.

"You know how much I love our son right?"

"Yes I do."

"Well I …at first I was attached to him because you were my best friend, I saw him as the nephew I never had you know but from the moment we heard his heart beating for the first time, my feelings for him have became more maternal."

"I know, that's why I asked you to be his god mother before we started dating. I knew that you would raise him as your own if anything ever happened to me."

"Exactly but I also realized that I was in love with you. I mean I always knew I wanted to be more than your best friend but I denied my feelings for many years, but living with you, carrying for you and your baby made me realize what I wanted and that I couldn't escape or deny my desires anymore."

"You realized you wanted us to be a family?"

"Yes and when we finally admitted our feelings to each other and you told me who the father was I just got scared and I…"

"And you looked into his past to make sure to have leverage in case he tried to steal us away from you?"

"Yes, I'm so sorry Jane, I know it's not like me. I'm not the kind of woman who threatens or digs in people's lives hoping to find enough dirt to black mail them. I'm not like Doyle…"Even if many people told her she looked very much like her mother Constance Maura always feared that her genes might one day be stronger than the good education she had received and thinking about what she had done she was now convince that she was indeed very much like Doyle.

"No you're not, but just like I understand why he killed the man who killed your brother I understand why you did what you did."

"You do?"

"Yes, becoming a parent awakes feelings and instincts in your that you never thought you had. You saw him as a threat even before he came back and your instincts were right."

"I know but…I don't want to have to use the information I have on him, it's not who I am, no matter how much I love you and our baby I don't want to turn into Doyle."

"Then don't and let your lawyers do their jobs."

"I can't do that either, even with the best lawyers money can buy a custody battle could take months and I won't have you upset and worried . So tomorrow I'm going to talk to him and try to make him come to his senses."

"And if you don't manage to do that?"

"Then I will have no other choice but to pull up the file I have on him. If that's okay with you."

"It's more than okay. I have a bad feeling about this . I feel that even if he calms down and agrees to deal with this as an adult it won't last, that at some point he's gonna try to convince me to go back to him that he might try to threaten us again when I refuse."

"I have the same feeling , which is very disturbing, I thought he wasn't that kind of man, but I guess paternity can awake the most animal instinct in a man."

"This has nothing to do with him loving this baby, he just can't handle the fact that I thew him out of my place as soon as we were finished and that even while pregnant with his child I refuse to be with him."

"You're right, this isn't love, it's just his pride and I won't let him and his ego hurt us I promise."

"I know and I'm glad you're not asking me if I want to go back to him."

"I don't need to. I trust you and your feelings and besides even if you still had feelings for him or doubts after the way he acted I'm sure they would have completely disappeared."

"Absolutely except that I never doubted us or my feelings. You're the one Maura, I always loved you no matter how hard I tried to deny it and I can't wait for the 3 of us to be a family."Jane said placing Maura's hand on her belly.

"I love you too , both of you." Rolling on top of Jane Maura gently slid her hand under Jane's tank top and started to kiss her pressing her tongue against her lips.

"Hold on. I have something to ask you."Looking up into Maura's hand, feeling her hand caressing her belly Jane suddenly felt compelled to ask Maura something very personal and important if they wanted to be a real family.

"You can ask me anything." Smiling as she started to kiss Jane's jaw line blowing kissing all the way to her neck Maura expected Jane to ask her something sexual.

"I want you to legally adopt our son when he's born."Without thinking about it for once second Jane asked Maura to link their tree lives together.

"You do?" Feeling her heart melt like a marshmallow Maura couldn't believe that Jane was making that proposal to her, proposal that sounded veyr much like a wedding proposal.

"I do. I know you don't need a piece of paper to feel like his mom, but I think it's important that we make things official you know, just in case something happens to me."

"I absolutely would love nothing more than to write my name next to yours on his birth certificate."

"Then it's a done deal, now can we please all go back to sleep?"Jane pouted looking at her watch.

"Yes, it is rather late, but tomorrow I'm going to see Dean hoping to find a solution and once this is over I'm taking you away for that romantic gateway I promised you." Kissing Jane's forehead snaking her arms around her Maura knew that she wouldn't sleep but didn't want to show how nervous she was. What Jane needed was for her to protect them, to be confident for the tree of them and she was determined not to let them down.

So the next morning Maura woke up early, extracted herself from Jane's embrace as quietly as possible and after taking a quick cup of coffee drove to Agent Dean's hotel, his file in her purse. Standing in front of his room for about ten minutes Maura was trying to decide if she was going to threaten him or not and decided to first try to solve this disagreement amicably before pulling out the file.

_"God, for my son's sake, let him be reasonable._" Maura said to herself, her eyes closed as she knocked on the door.

"Dr Isles." Quietly opening the door expecting Jane Agent Dean found himself surprised to see Maura instead.

"May I come in?"Standing straight looking at him in the eyes Maura was trying to remember her education and how she was taught to always keep her posture and to remain quiet in any circumstances. She knew that showing him anger would only encourage him to push her further but it was hard, thinking of her son Maura wanted to punch him in the face.

"Yes please but I don't see Jane, where is she?"Opening the door wider to allow Maura to step in his hotel room Dean was convinced that Jane had no idea Maura was here and that she was trying to separate them.

"No, it's only 9 am, she's still sleeping." Maura quietly replied trying not to jump at his throat for upsetting Jane and their son like that.

"Oh I see, Jane doesn't know you're here." A corner smile on his face, his hands on his pocket he was already planning how to get rid of Maura, and using this impromtu visit seemed to be a nice start.

"No, she knows, we talked about it last night, don't think you can use anything that I'm going to say or do today against me. Jane and I have no secrets." Squeezing the handle of her leather bag Maura could see the arrogant look on his face and knew this was going to be ugly.

"Alright, what are you here to talk about?I thought I made myself clear yesterday. I will not leave Boston without Jane and my son." Dean grunted, rising his voice as he took a step towards Maura.

"The thing is that Jane doesn't love you, she's in love with me and we are going to raise this child together. So if you want to see your son growing I suggest that you agree to Jane's terms."

"Or what?You're going to send your army of overpriced lawyer in my direction?I'm this child father, if we go to court I will get shared custody so why would I agree to give Jane sole custody?"

"Because I have no intention of taking you to court. Unlike you what matters to me is Jane and our son's health and a custody battle could take months and I don't want them to have to worry. That's why I took the liberty to ask one of my acquaintances to gather a few informations on you."Maura replied reluctantly pulling the file off her bag.

"You have been investigating me?"Grabbing the file out of her hand Dean wished he had his gun and his handcuff on him so he could just arrest her for attempting to black mail a federal agent.

"Yes ever since Jane told me you were the father I had this feeling you wouldn't let her decide what was best for her child so yes I investigated you oh and before you arrest me for trying to blackmail a federal agent may I point to you that my father went to high school with the state attorney general and that they play golf at least twice a month?"Maura smiled trying to resist doing the victory dance Jane founded so cute.

"You and your damn money. I don't care how much money or connections you have you are not taking my family away from me!"Throwing the file on the floor Agent Dean suddenly felt the blood rushing through his veins and his heart hammering his chest.

"Let me say this one more time very slowly so you understand me. When Jane feels ready she's going to contact you and you're going to accept what even visitations rights she's offering you or if she asks you to you're going to wave your parental rights. If you even attempt to intimate or also drag us to court, I will end you. I will have your badge, your pension and your freedom and if you even think about retaliating well let's just say that my biological father is Patrick Doyle I could also as easily have your life. Stay away from my family." Looking him straight in the eyes keeping her cool Maura wasn't scared unlike him she knew Jane loved her and that she had everything to fight for. Dr Maura Isles was raised to avoid making scenes and to stay out of trouble as much as possible but when someone attacked her family she could turned into a real mama bear and would never allow anyone to even attempt to her her son and the woman she loved.

Taking a step back towards the door without turning his back on him Maura could see the anger in his eyes and knew it was time to leave. She didn't know if her little speech and the file she had put together had impressed him or convinced him to let her family alone but one thing was sure : she felt free and relieved. After weeks of being scared to face him, preparing herself Maura had finally the opportunity to stand up for her loved ones and to do what she had to do to protect them.

Later that day Maura came home both physically and emotionally exhausted only to find Jane and her mother on the couch watching tv and eating sweets.

"She made me do it I swear!"Jane mumbled her mouth full of marshmallows.

" I'm sure she did, Angela, bad bad grand mother!" Maura joked kissed Jane's forehead before settling next to her.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, so Jane told me what happened yesterday and that you went to confront him, how did it go?"Angela asked taking the candies away from Jane.

"I remained calm the entire time. I asked him politely to agree with any custody or visitations Jane would offer him but he refused so I pulled the file I put together."

"Oh, I bet that made him really mad." Looking at Maura, Jane was so proud of her, that she went to all that trouble to protect them but she was ever prouder that she remain calm the whole time.

"Yes he didn't react well but I told him that I wouldn't hesitate to use the informations I had on him to have his badge and his pension if he ever tried to threaten us or take us to court. I think he's not willing to loose his carrer over this."

"Did you threaten to send Doyle after him?"

"Yes I did, Oh my God, I'm turning into my father Jane. Not only I threatened to end his carrer but to have my father ends his life."

"Oh baby, calm down, you did what you have to do to protect us, I would have done the same thing and my pop is the sweetest man I know, I'm proud of you."Kissing the top of Maura's hand Jane knew that it would take for her to forgive herself, that even if it was for a good cause Maura wasn't the threatening type.

"Yes, we're proud of you Maura, would you mind telling us what you had on him exactly?"

"Well about 5 years ago he was working under cover in a drug cartel in Detroit and thanks to his hard work the entire organisation was put down . The problem is that the report mentioned that 2 millions of pure cocaine found in the warehouse where the operations where taking place, but apparently the leader, hoping to get Dean's head confessed that there was actually close to 3 millions of pure cocaine there."

"He stole for a million dollars of pure cocaine?" Jane asked her eyes wide opened.

"Yes, well it was the dealer's words against his but there was a quick investigation that was organized internally but the money was never found."

"But your investigators found it, right?"Jane smiled amazed by Maura's ressources.

"Yes, let just say I have contacts in the Caribbean's Islands that the FBI doesn't have." Maura proudly replied.

"Well congratulations baby, this could not only make him loose his badge but lend him directly to jail thank you." Jane replied relieved knowing that Dean wouldn't take any risks and would probably sign any visitation agreement now.

"Yes Maura thank you for protecting our family." Angela replied holding Maura's hand.

"I did what I had to do. I don't think he's going to bother us ever again. You can relax now little guy." Maura replied kissing Jane's belly.

That day Jane, Angela and Maura stayed home and relaxed unwilling to allow Dean to upset them anymore. After doing what she did Maura felt a bit ashamed of herself, threatening her son's father like that but looking at Jane smiling she knew she had made the wrong choice. Jane on the other hand was also relieved knowing that this was finally over. After 5 months of worrying about Dean she could now relax and focus on her baby knowing that no matter what would happen in the future she could count on Maura's unconditional love and support, knowing that she wouldn't hesitate to use all the power and connections she had to make sure their family was safe. Being pregnant Jane changed a lot, only a few months ago she was the one taking care of Maura, protecting her against Doyle or what ever danger would come at them. Now things were different, for the first time in her life Jane decided to delegate some of that control and protectiveness to Maura. Obviously letting Maura taking care of her wasn't easy at first because she was extremely. But after 4 months of living with Maura Jane realized that it was her way of contributing to the pregnancy and she actually got used to being taken care of. Yes comfortably settled in her couch surrounded by her mother and Maura Jane knew that there was no reason for her to be anxious about the rest of her pregnancy or about raising that child. She knew that she would always be able to count on their support. On the other end of the couch Maura was watching Jane talk with her mother and seeing the smile on her face knew she had made the right decision, no matter how immoral black mail was. Her hand on Jane's belly Maura couldn't wait to finally meet her son who had literally changed her life, for the better. Maura who was always so lonely was now going to be a mother and was finally dating the love of her life. Yes, after getting rid of Agent Dean Maura knew that Jane and her were finally able to have the life they have been dreaming about for so long, with their son .

**So guys, yes the drug thing was lame, but my first idea was to make him a wife beater or something...but I thought this was better.**

**Do you think Agent Dean is gonna get the hell out of Boston or is he gonna fight?Did you like Maura's threat, my favorite sentence is " I will end you" damn I would pay to see her see that on the show:)**

**As always reviews are welcome. I'm in France on vacation so I don't know how much I'm gonna be able to write for the next few days(being in france dries my inspiration away you have no idea..)**

**Thank you :)**


	13. Confessions

**Chapter 13 : **

**Confessions :**

The next day confident that Agent Dean wouldn't cause them any more trouble Jane and Maura decided to finally go on that gateway they had been dreaming about for ever. After feeling threatened by agent Dean and having to fight for their family both women deserved a break away from the city and as much as they loved Angela and the other members of their clan they really needed some privacy.

Standing in front of her mirror looking at her growing belly Jane was once again trying to convince herself that she was attractive enough to have sex with Maura. Stepping into their bedroom seeing Jane looking at herself in the mirror Maura immediately got the feeling that even after their last conversation on the subject Jane might still be hesitant to strip down and allow her to make love to her. Walking towards Jane determined to remain patient and understanding Maura couldn't help to be extremely attracted and aroused by the simple fact of seeing Jane's belly.

"Are we ready to go?"Snaking arms around Jane, kissing her shoulder after loading the car Maura knew that after what happened with Dean both of them needed that vacation.

"Would you hate me if I told you I changed my mind about having sex?"

"Of course not, if you decide that you want to wait until after the baby is born I will understand but we really really need and deserve this vacation, so come on, let's go!"Maura replied dragging Jane out of their bedroom ignoring her comment.

Walking towards the car Jane was trying to find the best way to tell Maura that she wanted to make a detour, that she needed this issue with Dean to be dealt with once and for all before they could even consider going on vacation.

"Maura?" Jane said fastening her seatbelt her hands on her belly.

"Yes, I'm taking you see him before we leave." Maura replied slightly turning her head.

"God I love it that you know me so well." Jane replied leaning over to kiss her.

"Well I know you want to put this behind us before we leave, I just hope he had time to make his decision."

"I hope so to, I spent the past 5 months worrying about him and I'm tired. All I want is to enjoy this pregnancy and give birth feeling confident that he won't come back to threaten us again."

"If he's smart he won't." Her hand on Jane's thighs Maura was hoping that Dean took his treat seriously and would give up, but couldn't thinking that she wouldn't give up that easily in his position.

Half an your later Jane found herself in the same position Maura was 24 hours earlier. Taking a deep breath as she knocked on the door she prayed God for the first time in years. She prayed that Dean had came to his senses or got so scared by Maura's threat that he decided to give up his parental rights.

"Jane…I didn't expect to see you here." Opening the door Agent Dean was expecting to see Maura but instead was happily surprised to see Jane, alone.

"May I come in?" Jane asked her hands instinctively placed on her belly keeping him from even trying to touch her.

"Yes please." Opening the door Dean couldn't help but hoping that Maura had lied to her and that Jane was here to tell him that she wanted to be with him.

"I won't stay long Maura and I are going away for a few days."

"Oh, so you're still with her." Clenching his fists the simple thought of the woman he loved going away on a romantic vacation with someone else made him want to punch a wall.

"Yes. I'm sorry if I hurt you, I really am but I'm in love with her. I think I have always been in love with her but I wasn't just lying to myself."

"So where you picturing her when we were making love?"

"No, I promise you I wasn't . To be honest with you I wasn't thinking about anything. Look what happen between us was a nice memory because it gave us a son, but that's all it is, a memory. I'm with Maura and the tree of us are going to be a family, actually we already are."

"What about me Jane? I came back for you as soon as I found out about Hoyt, to be with you because I love you. God I have been waiting for so long for you and now you're telling me I have to just erase what happened?"

"No, I'm not asking you to act like nothing happened but I want you to move on and find someone who shares your feelings."

"What about our son? Because as much as Maura seems to love him, he is MY son not hers."

"About that, Maura was adopted and her adoptive mother and her are more alike than me and my own mother. As I said before I have no intention of keeping you away from him, I want him to know who is father is but after what happened at the station all I can offer you is supervised visits." Jane said taking a deep breath expecting a violent reaction.

"You don't even trust me with him?"

"No I don't. I thought I knew you but I was wrong so don't be mad at me for not trusting you, take my offer or leave it, it's your choice." As much as Jane wanted her son to grow up knowing his father she was determined to show Dean that the power was in her hands not his.

"We both know I don't have a choice, either I comply with your offer or your girlfriend is going to use what she found out about me right?"

"I think she's going to do what ever she thinks is best for our family and if it means taking you down Yes I believe she will."

"You know what? You win ask her to ask her lawyers to send me papers so I can give up my parental rights, but let me tell you something : You might think that this little lesbian affair is what you want and what you need, but I know it's not true. I was the one who comforted you after you killed Hoyt. I saw you out of control, almost begging me fuck you as hard as I could because you needed to feel alive and as much as you think you can be yourself with Maura I'm sure she never saw and will never see that side of you and someday what you felt that night is going to resurface and I'll be here ."

"You're wrong. I am myself with Maura, God I think I was born a second time when she told me she loved me and wanted us to be a family. Don't wait for me because this is the last time you ever see me. I will ask our lawyers to send you the papers in a few days. " Jane said walking towards the door without looking back.

"Will you tell me who I am?"

"Of course. I will tell you that his father is an incredible FBI Agent who saved dozens of lives and if he wants to meet you I won't stop him, but I doubt he's ever going to feel the need to. Maura and I are going to be great parents. Do not ever come back to Boston." Jane said as she slammed the door behind her.

Walking back to the car Jane couldn't help but thinking Dean was right : that night she was really out of control. She was in a kind of state Maura never saw her in and realized it was maybe time for her to come clean and tell her exactly what happened that night, no matter how humiliating or ugly it was.

"What happened?" Maura asked as soon as Jane opened the door.

"He said he would give up his parental rights, I guess you really scared him." Jane replied forcing herself to smile.

"I suppose I did, now let's hit the road, we still have about two hours of driving before we arrive to the little paradise I have been talking you about for days." Finally relieved that this nightmare was over Maura could barely hide her happiness : Jane, her and their baby were finally free.

"Right right. Let's hit the road."

Two hours later after driving in silence the happy couple finally arrived to the cabin owed by Maura's family.

"That's the little place you were telling me about?" Jane said her eyes wide opened as she walked towards the gigantic chalet .

"Yes, my grand father built it years ago but we rarely come anymore." Maura replied following her struggling with their luggage.

After unpacking their clothes and having dinner Maura found herself cleaning the dishes while Jane was quietly settled in the couch in front of the fire place.

"Well the dishes are clean, fire looks good, we have the entire place of ourselves without your mother to interrupt us…" Sitting next to Jane on the couch Maura gently started to kiss her neck while gently rubbing her knee with her thumb.

"Gee Maura, I thought coming here wasn't about sex!" Jane yelled pushing her away before rushing towards their bedroom.

"What have I done again?" Maura asked herself not knowing if she should follow her or not , unwilling to make things worse by ticking her hormones.

After giving Jane a few minutes to calm down Maura finally decided to join her in their bedroom .

"Hey there, may I come in?" Slowly walking towards the kingsize bed Maura immediately Jane curled in fetal position, turning her back on her.

"Just go away!"

"No I can not do that, not when you're mad at me and I know don't what I have done to deserve your anger." Maura replied walking all the way around their bed determined to look Jane in the eye.

"You're just like him!I thought you were different but you're the same!"

"How am I like him?"Kneeling in front of the bed Maura tried to remain calm but was hurt by Jane's accusation.

"All you care about is sex!You're trying to take advantage of me because I'm pregnant and vulnerable just like he did!" Jane yelled flipping over her arms crossed on the chest.

"Oh Jane, how can you think that?"Sighing feeling the tears burning her eyes Maura could see how sincere Jane was and it broke her heart.

"I don't know, I keep giving you hints that I'm not ready and you keep on pushing me. If you're that horny feel free to get satisfaction somewhere else." Jane groaned looking up at the ceiling.

"Jane…I am not horny, I'm just very very much in love with you, I have been since the first day we met 5 years ago. So yes I might appear as particularly frisky but it's only because I denied those feelings and desires for so long and now that we are together I finally feel free to express them. I am not trying to take advantage of you, please believe me." Trying to justify her actions and desire Maura suddenly realized that this wasn't about Jane's hormones on her body image issues, it was about something much deeper.

"But you don't even know me! I did things Maura, things you can't possibly imagine and who would disgust you."

"Alright then tell me what you did that was so terrible that you think it would make me love you less." Maura climbing in bed, snaking her arms around Jane's waist determined to keep her from leaving.

"I was drunk Maura! I was drunk off my ass when he knocked at my door. All I can remember is pulling him inside my apartment and unbuttoning his pants as we were moving towards my bedroom. What he said wasn't a lie : I asked him for more. I…I let him take me over and over." Bursting in tears Jane was finally able to let go of all the shame and disgust she had been feeling for the past four months thinking about that night.

"Oh Jane, you didn't know what you were doing, you were inebriated."

"I was drunk but I knew exactly what I was doing, I asked for more because I needed to feel something, to feel alive so I asked him to go harder, so hard that I wasn't actually able to walk straight the next day."

"Oh Jane, I'm sorry. I wish I had been there to help you. I promise I won't let you down again, but please stop punishing yourself for what happened, you might have acted foolishly but he saw you were drunk and vulnerable and he took advantage of you,he's the one who should feel terrible not you."

"I can't blame him for taking advantage of me. I'm as responsible as he is, but let's look at the bright side."Jane said looking down at her belly.

"Exactly, look Jane, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, raising our son and making sure you have everything you always dreamed about but never dared to hope for. If you want us to wait then we'll wait. Sex is least important thing for me right now."

"I'm sorry for going ballistic on you. I have been keeping this inside for so long, trying to forget about what happened but seeing him just awoke that bad memory."

"Hey don't apologize at least we're talking about it, that's healthy, keeping things buried inside isn't so please no matter how dark or unforgivable you think the things you keep inside are, please I'm begging you just talk to me."

"There is nothing more you don't already know about me…"

"Good, but what ever comes towards us in the future we will face it together as a family alright?"

"Alright." Resting her head on Maura's chest Jane was relieved to have talked about that terrible night with Maura. As dark and gross as this memory was she knew that for the sake of her son she had to move on and look at the future.

"Good, now let's put you to bed, we had long day."Pulling the blanket up Maura realized that what had happened between Jane and Dean was nothing like what she had imagined. During the past few months she had convinced herself that Jane had shared a night of passionate, liberating sex with Agent Dean. Listening to Jane telling her what had really happened Maura realized how ugly this "Sexual encounter" actually was and started to feel terrible for not insisting to stay with Jane after she killed Hoyt. Even if both women were trying to convince themselves that because it gave them a son it wasn't entirely a negative experience Maura knew that it would take time for Jane to forget about this night, to heal and to accept to loose control again. She knew that Jane would probably associate sex with Dean taking advantage of her for a long time, just like she still associated scalpels with what Hoyt had done to her. Falling asleep that night Maura knew that even if Dean was now out of the picture they still had issues to work on, but it didn't matter. Maura knew that Jane loved her and God knew how much she loved her back and their son too and she was determined to do everything in her power to help Jane heal from that terrible experience.

**So guys, I know a lot of you were expecting Dean to cause more troubles and I'm not saying he won't in the future, but right now I wanted them to get closure so they could move on with their romantic week end. But you know me even if he said he would give up his parental rights, it's possible that he's gonna come back at some point. I don't know yet, all I know is that I don't want him to become too important in this story. Don't worry more drama is coming in the future!**

**PS : Sorry if I turned the night Jane spent with Dean into this gross thing but it seemed to be realistic that Jane would just use him to loose control and feel alive and that he would take advantage of her being drunk and vulnerable…I know no one takes advantage of Jane Rizzoli but you know...makes sense lol!**

**God I don't know what came through my mind when I wrote this chapter, it just made sense!**

**Prepare yourselves to be amazed because next chapter is gonna rock your world, you know me, I usually manage to write good sex chapters :)**

**I hope all of you have a great Christmas, I know I will! I will upload next chapter in a few days!**


	14. Stay with me

**Chapter 14 :**

**Stay with me : **

The next morning Jane woke up earlier than Maura which was unusual, extracted herself from her embrace and walked towards the kitchen determined to prepare a " I'm so sorry for freaking out on you like that" breakfast. Cooking an omelette hoping the smell wouldn't wake Maura up Jane, for the first time since she found out she was pregnant started to picture her life with Maura and their son. Knowing that Dean wouldn't cause them trouble anymore she was finally free to enjoy her pregnancy and plan the arrival of her baby.

Remembering the list she had written a few weeks back Jane realized that Maura had taken care of almost everything including the nursery but that there was still something they had never talked about : the baby's name. Obviously Jane knew that her father would be thrilled to have a grand son named after him the way her brother was but she wanted to do things differently and give Maura the opportunity to choose the name herself. After everything Maura had done for them to take care of them and protect them Jane felt it was only fair to give her that gift but right now all she wanted was to make it up to her for being so rude. After finishing preparing their breakfast Jane walked back to their room only to find that Maura was slowly waking up.

"Hey sleepy head, slept well?"Jane asked sitting on the head of the bed holding the tray containing their breakfast.

"I always sleep well here, it's so quiet…"Maura replied rubbing her eyes vigorously .

"I agree it's really quiet and peaceful, now come on eat your breakfast before it gets cold."Jane said leaving the tray on the night table.

"Oh Jane, you're sweet but you didn't have to do that." Maura replied marveling at the delicious breakfast Jane had prepared.

"I know but considering you have been cooking for me for the past 4 and a half months it was really the least I could do. See it's healthy, omelette, coffee with sweeteners and fresh orange juice."

"I'm impressed." Maura smiled taking a sip at her orange juice.

"Thank you, It's my way of not only thanking you but also apologizing for my behavior. The worse part is I can't even say it was those freaking hormones this time…"

"You were hurting and after holding it inside for so long you just couldn't take it anymore. You might be a hero Jane but you're still human."

"Right, right. So do we have plans for today?"

"Well it's obviously too cold to go swimming in the lake but I'm sure we can manage to find things to do."

"Right, if you excuse me I need to call my mom, I promised to call her when we arrived and she already left two messages. "

"No Jane, wait!"Taking Jane's hand trying to keep her from leaving Maura realized that she had said the wrong words or that Jane had misinterpreted her again .

"I'm sorry, I just…" Standing in front of the bed Jane felt like a teenager again, horny but scared to expose herself and it was starting to bother her. She wasn't 16 anymore and Maura was not just some random guy, she was the love of her life and she should have no issues making love to her. The thing was Jane wasn't herself anymore : sleeping with Dean and being pregnant changed her and she was still trying to figure who she was now.

"I…love…you…"Sitting on the edge of the bed lifting Jane's tank top started blowing kisses on Jane's belly feeling her shivering under her touch.

"I love you too." Jane sighed kissing the top of Maura's head.

"Then trust me." Maura replied pulling Jane in bed.

Lying on her back unable and unwilling to fight anymore Jane closed her eyes and relaxed completely literally offering herself to Maura. Lying next to Jane feeling she had finally decided to give in Maura gently started to kiss Jane's neck while slowly sliding her hand under Jane's tank top. Determined to take her time and be as gentle as possible she started caressing Jane's belly before moving towards her breasts. Feeling Maura's fingers and lips on her Jane was barely able to breath. Not only she had been dreaming about this moment for years but being pregnant had seriously increased her sexual desires and sensitivity making every touch barely manageable.

Feeling Maura's fingers dangerously approaching her breasts Jane suddenly fidgeted knowing how sensitive, even painful her nipples were.

"Maura, wait."Jane suddenly said holding her breath, stopping Maura's hand in its progression.

"I know your nipples must be highly sensitive, don't worry I'll be gentle."Smiling and confident Maura continued to kiss Jane's neck dragging her tongue all the way down to her breasts.

Slightly lifting Jane's tank top revealing her enlarged breasts Maura was amazed by their beauty , their shape, color was perfect and she had a feeling their taste would be exquisite as well. Taking her tank top off spontaneously Jane could see the love and desire in Maura's eyes. Seeing her marveling at her breasts Jane couldn't help but wonder what was going to happen once they went back to be their usual size. Luckily right now all Jane wanted to focus on right now was Maura's hands on her.

Slowly moving towards Jane's left breast Maura started very gently to caress her right breast with her thumb knowing how sensitive it was.

"Oh Boy."Jane muttered arching her back feeling her entire body responding to the new stimulation.

Feeling Jane's heart hammering her chest Maura started to kiss her left breast tenderly before starting to draw circles around her already erect nipples with her tongue.

Laying on her back feeling her entire body shaking Jane was discovering sensations she had never experienced before. It seemed like Maura knew exactly how and where to touch her. She was gentle enough not to cause Jane any pain or discomfort but stimulative enough to make Jane stop breathing.

Drawing circles around Jane's nipple with the tip of her tongue Maura couldn't believe how soft and tasty Jane's skin was. Jane unlike a lot of her previous lovers smelled naturally good, her natural body odor was always very sweet and fresh and now Maura was able to taste how sweet her skin also was.

"Don't forget to breath, I don't want you to pass out on me, not yet at least."Looking up at her Maura could see that Jane was holding her breath.

"Yeah, don't worry, just don't stop."Jane smiled stroking Maura's hair with her fingers.

Feeling Jane's chest rising higher and falling slower at every stroke of her tongue Maura felt encouraged and started to innocently roam her fingers on Jane's belly gently tickling her belly button.

Hearing no objection Maura took a deep breath before sliding her hand inside her PJs'.

Feeling Maura's fingers slowly caressing her thigh Jane parted her legs wide enough for Maura to place her hand between them.

Smiling at Jane's invitation Maura replied by moving her hands between Jane's legs unprepared for she was about to encounter.

"Oh God, you're swamped."Her hand on Jane's entrance Maura could literally feel the juice streaming down her girlfriend's folds.

"Yeah you have that effect on me." Jane replied a bit embarrassed to be that wet after only a few minutes of gentle foreplay.

"Looks like it."Gently starting to caress Jane's swollen clitoris Maura started to wander her tongue on Jane's belly all the way down to her pants.

"Oh sweet jesus." Jane said herself feeling Maura's middle fingers stroking her clitoris.

Rolling her eyes forcing herself to breath Jane had to fight not to come right on the spot. Her clitoris was so sensitive that a simple stroke could ignite an explosion of pleasure in her pants but she knew Maura wanted to take her time and she also wanted to make that precious moment last as long as possible.

Pulling Jane's pants down Maura continued to kiss Jane's belly whispering things her girlfriend could barely hear.

"Now I'm going to taste you until you faint." Looking up at Jane determined to give her the most mind blowing orgasm of her life Maura parted Jane's legs wider and started licking her clitoris while caressing her entrance with her finger tips.

Feeling Maura's tongue literally devouring her Jane's head started spinning, she could not see or hear anything. All she could focus was Maura's making love to her like no one else did before, with passion but delicateness too, taking her time, exploring her , listening to her responses carefully.

"Wow, easy tiger." Jane said arching her back as she felt Maura's tongue unexpectedly thrusting inside her folds.

"Don't you like it?"Rising her head, licking her lips Maura was unsettled. Jane's seemed to be enjoying herself so why would she ask her to stop?

"No no sweetheart I love it very much, it's just that I think we should slow down a bit or I might just explode on your face." Jane pouted slightly embarrassed.

"Oh…Well we should slow down then. I want us to take our time."Maura replied trailing kisses on Jane's body all the way up to her wonderful lips.

"I'm sorry it's just those freaking hormones I feel so horny all the time."

"Ouch, that hurt. I thought it was me licking and caressing you that turned you on."Maura replied rolling on her back faking being hurt.

"Oh Maura, no. I'm sorry. Of course what were doing drives me nuts. By the way why am I the only one naked on that bed?"

"Have we been fantasizing about seeing me naked Detective?" Maura replied rolling back on top of her.

"Me fantasizing?NEVER! A fantasy is something you will never come true, but I always knew you and I would end up together." Sitting up in bed helping Maura to pull her top up Jane was immediately amazed by how perfect her breasts were, more amazing than in her wildest dream.

"You did?"Her arms around Jane's neck half naked Maura never felt so comfortable in her entire life.

"Well at least I was hoping that one of us would find the courage to speak up. What you said the other day was wrong : we would have ended up together even if I haven't gotten pregnant. " Wandering her fingers on Maura's back trying not to stare at her imposing breasts.

"You're right I think the more time passed the more painful it was for me. Feel free to touch if you want." Placing Jane's hand on her breasts seeing she could barely looked at her in the eye Maura found herself instantly shivering as she felt her girlfriend's hand cupping her breasts.

"God I can't believe those are mine now." Jane said licking her lips as she started to tickle Maura's right breast with her thumb.

"Oh boy..Yes I'm all yours, today and every other day. " Pressing her lips against Jane's Maura slowly dragged her fingers towards Jane's fold and was immediately able to feel the warmth streaming between her legs.

Pushing Jane back on her pillow Maura had enough, she couldn't wait another minute to taste her again. Dragging her tongue between Jane's breasts while gently caressing her belly Maura suddenly felt the baby kicking . Smiling as she felt his little feet hammering Jane's belly Maura took a minute to marvel at the beauty of the spectacle their son was giving them.

"How about you stay up here and use your beautiful hands?"Blowing a tender kiss on Maura's finger tips Jane didn't want her to disappear between her legs, she wanted her to stay with her and to kiss her.

"You didn't like when I was down there?" Maura frowned.

"Of course I did but I would really like you to continue kissing me."Jane replied pulling her up.

"Alright, alright."

Because Maura was unable to stay on top of Jane the two women settled on their sides facing each other . For the next hour Maura continued to kiss Jane wandering her fingers on her gorgeous body, memorizing every single curve. Knowing how sensitive Jane was Maura started to gently tickle her clitoris with her middle finger while still continuing kissing her.

"Oh God Maura, those hands of yours." Jane moaned closing her legs on Maura's hand slowly rubbing her inner thighs against it.

"You like it baby?How about that?"Maura whispered thrusting one then two fingers deep into Jane's folds.

"Holly crap." Jane panted feeling her inner muscles clenching around Maura's fingers almost immediately.

Encouraged Maura started to plunge her fingers in and out of Jane's folds, thrusting deeper and pulling out slower every time.

Feeling Jane breathing on her face and shaking under her touch Maura found herself more aroused than she ever felt before. Finally being able to share that special moment with the woman she has been in love with for so long almost brought tears to her eyes. Feeling Maura pushing her fingers inside her as far as she could Jane who was eager to feel her deep started to rock her hips in rhythm with her girlfriend's thrusts. Feeling Jane literally riding her hand Maura inserted a third finger inside her hoping it would send her over the edge.

Kissing her passionately increasing the rhythm of her thrusts Maura was eager to see Jane unleash her pleasure and reach climax.

"Oh Maura, right there stop."Feeling a violent wave running through her entire body Jane was hit but the most intense orgasm she had never experienced in her life. Closing her legs on Maura trapping her fingers inside , kissing her eyes closed Jane never felt in sync with anyone else before.

Feeling Jane's finger clenching around her fingers Maura managed to press her thumb against her clitoris and started to tickle it nicely hoping to increasing Jane's pleasure. Keeping her eyes close as they continued to kiss Maura could feel Jane's entire body shaking and shivering and her girlfriend's breath shortening.

She had pictured this moment for months, years even but never imagine making love to Jane would be such an incredible experience. Actually she always pictured Jane as being the guy, and always thought she would insist on satisfying her first. Luckily for Maura being pregnant made Jane more sensitive and more incline to accept switching roles. Even if at first she felt her reluctant to being taken care off Maura could now feel that Jane was slowly allowing her to be her care taker and feeling her climaxing on her hand Maura was grateful that Jane trusted her enough to let her take the lead .

Feeling her head spinning from the lack of oxygen it took Jane about two minutes to finally part her legs freeing Maura's hand and to open her eyes still unable to believe what had just happened to her.

"Hey baby, stay with me." Maura whispered wiping a tear of Jane's face with her thumb.

"I'm sorry it's those freaking hormones." Jane joked finally opening her eyes.

"Don't worry about it, you're still my hero." Kissing her forehead Maura knew that lashing out like that was hard for Jane who was usually so in control and who had serious intimacy issues.

Laying in bed naked their arms and legs wrapped around each other the two women were lacking words to describe how they felt. As much as Jane was trying to deny it wasn't her hormones that made her cry but Maura, what her girlfriend did to her, for her. Never in her life she had felt so safe, taken care of and listened to. Maura seemed to have this ability to guess what Jane wanted and needed just by carefully looking at her or feeling her, it was almost a gift. Laying there both women wondered why it had taken them so long to be together but right now none of that mattered , all the two women wanted was to focus on was their future family not all the irrational fears that kept them from being together for so long.

**Alright guys as you know I'm not comfortable with love scenes, if you want more please show me your interest...:)**


	15. Making the right decision

**Chapter 15 :**

**Making the right decision : **

Two days later Maura and Jane were unfortunately forced to go back to Boston after Maura received a call from Cavanaugh asking her to come back ASAP after a senator's daughter had been found murdered. Driving back to Boston the two women were still on their cloud, unable to land on solid ground after spending the best 3 days of their entire lives. Both women knew that once the baby was born it would be almost impossible for them to get away or to even spend quiet time together. So now that Jane seemed to have overcame her intimacy issues the couple was determined to make the most of the few months they had together.

Standing in the elevator holding hands the two women were barely able to hide their happiness and couldn't care less if people saw them displaying their mutual affection. They had wasted too many years being scared of what people might think to stay in the closest now, especially since they were having a baby together.

"I promise it won't take long, the cause of death seems to be accidental overdose but the chief wants me to confirm it. I'll be home for dinner." Maura said as they stepped towards the elevator.

"Don't worry about it. Actually I left some paper work behind so I should be fine." Jane replied kissing Maura's temple.

"Look who's back, how was your week end?"Just like every body who knew them Frost always knew how they felt for each other and has been secretly hoping that one day they would have the courage to face their feelings. Now that they were finally together he had never seen his partner that happy.

"Good, I wish we could have stayed another day…"Jane groaned sitting at her desk.

"Well the senator called requesting that I performed the autopsy on his daughter myself. I couldn't possibly say no. I will see you in a few hours. Detective Frost I'm counting on you to take care of my family in my absence." Maura replied leaning over to blow a tender kiss on Jane's forehead before gently caressing her belly immediately feeling the baby kicking.

"Sure Doc, don't worry about it." Frost replied.

Later that day as Maura was sitting at her desk finishing her autopsy report her phone suddenly rang.

"Dr Isles speaking? What? When? Is she alright?Yes I will right there."Jumping off her chair grabbing her bag Maura's heart suddenly stopped beating.

Running towards the elevator trying to keep a clear mind remembering Frost's reassuring words Maura couldn't help to worry, he wasn't a Doctor after all and had no qualification to determine if Jane and their baby was okay.

"Oh boy, really Frost, you had to call her?" Jane grunted rolling her eyes as she saw Maura running towards her.

"Hey don't look at me like that, she's the mother too, she would have killed me for not calling her." Frost replied.

"And considering I could kill you in a hundred different ways without leaving any proof you made the right decision. What happened, are you alright?"Maura mumbled grabbing her stethoscope from her bag.

"Nothing happened. I am alright and the baby is fine too." Sitting in her chair holding her belly Jane was not only mad at Frost for calling Maura but also embarrassed.

"You fell Jane I wouldn't call that nothing." Maura replied rising her voice trying to find the heart beat.

"I didn't fall. I stood up a bit too fast and lost my balance and fall back on my chair, which isn't surprising since the entire weight of my body seemed to be concentrated in my belly."

"Would you just stop talking? I'm trying to locate a heart beat? Oh here... well the baby doesn't seem in distress heart beat is strong and regular, but I think it's time we talk about finding you a desk assignment ." Maura replied putting her serious face on.

"No, no no Maura. I'm only 22 weeks long and we said …."

"We said that you would stay in the field until your pregnancy physically kept you from doing your job properly or if it became too dangerous for you or the baby ."

"Oh boy." Covering his mouth Frost knew that he was about to witness a serious fight and knew from experience that he better stay in his place.

"Yes but what happened was an accident, I will be more careful not to stand up too quickly from now on but I'm not going to stay behind a desk." Jane replied holding her anger knowing that Maura was only looking out for her.

"Oh because you think you actually have a word in this? Let me rephrase this : you either accept to be put on desk duty or I will put you on maternal leave. Your choice." Looking Jane straight in the eyes expecting a vivid reaction Maura was determined to see this through, she wasn't about to risk her son's life because of Jane's pride and visceral need to be in the field.

"Wow Maura, don't you think you're over reacting a bit here?"Jane replied trying to stand up helping herself by using her hand on her desk.

"When it comes to our son's and your safety? No, never. So it's up to you." Jane in front of her looking at her like she was about to bite her Maura didn't flinch, unimpressed by her girlfriend's usual excess of pride and anger.

"You're right it's up to ME Maura. I'm sick and tired of you controlling every aspect of my life. I will be the one who decides when or if I take a desk assignment, not you!"Rising her voice pushing Maura aside Jane was suffocating and was craving for some fresh air.

"How am I controlling?"Maura replied shocked.

"You're kidding me?You control my diet, my exercise, even my sleeping and working hours, I'm sick of it. I'm in control of my pregnancy and of my life." Jane hollered walking towards the elevator.

"Jane!"

"Do not follow me! I'll take a cab home!" Rising her voice still turning her back on Maura Jane knew that staying here another minute would only worsen the situation.

"But I…I only wanted to help."Maura replied falling back on Jane's chair as she watched Jane walk away without even looking back.

"Hey Doc, don't worry about it, she's just very hormonal these days. Give her a couple of hours and I'm sure she'll be calm down alright." Reaching out to Maura Frost knew better than anyone how hard it was to be with Jane since she got pregnant. On top of having to deal with her usual sarcastic temper Frost had to deal with her mood swings just like Maura did.

"No I don't think I can credit what happened on her hormones, she seemed genuinely mad at me. Do you think I was over reacting and that I'm controlling her?"

"Well, I think that what happened was an accident and that you got scared but I do not think she needs to stay away from the field just yet. As for you being controlling I think you're doing what you think is best for them but we both know that she just doesn't like to be told what to do." Frost replied trying to stay neutral and not to pick side.

"Exactly, I'm doing the best I can to make sure our son is healthy and that this pregnancy goes as smoothly as possible….I feel so…"

"Powerless?You feel she's doing all the heavy lifting and taking care of her like that is your way of contributing to this pregnancy?"

"Exactly. I mean she's the one who's sick every morning, who's frequently waken up by our son kicks and whose body is changing so fast that she barely recognizes it not to mention that the hormones are turning her into someone she's not. All I want is to help the best way I know how."

"I hear you Doc. I know you always use your science and medical knowledge to solve the problems you encounter in your life. But right now she doesn't give a damn about that. What Jane needs is for you to hold her hair when she pukes, to massage her feet after a long day of work or to talk to the baby because it's apparently the only thing that keeps him from kicking. She doesn't need her Doctor, she needs her girlfriend."

"I know. Thank you Barry, you're going to be a great father someday."

"I hope so, in the mean time I'll practice being the cool uncle."

"Thank you. Now I think I better go home and apologize."

"Yes you should, my advice : bring some ice-cream that always calms her down."

"Thank you."

Driving home Maura was trying to find the proper way to apologize to Jane but couldn't help but thinking that she was right. Jane's job was dangerous and she was putting herself and the baby at risk everyday. Unfortunately Maura knew that trying to force her to take her maternity leave wasn't the way to do this, that Jane had to make this decision when she's ready on her own terms.

When Maura finally arrived home she found Jane on the couch, Joe Friday at her feet and ice cream on her lap.

"I suppose I was right to stop by the store on my way..."Sitting next to Jane leave the ice cream she had bought following Frost's advice Maura could feel Jane was a little more relaxed than earlier but considering she hadn't even looked at her when she came in knew she was still mad at her.

"If it's your diet sorbet that taste like water you can keep it for yourself." Jane replied dipping her spoon deep in her ice cream her eyes fixated on the tv.

"No, I brought you chocolate and also strawberry along with wiped cream."

"You did?"Jane pouted finally turning her head.

"Yes I did, it's my way of apologizing for acting like a tyran. I'm sorry you were right, I think I might be a bit controlling but my intentions are pure."Her hand on Jane's hand Maura could feel the baby kicking and knew that all that sugar wasn't good for him but as long as it kept Jane quiet it didn't matter.

"I know you're only trying to help and that you know what's best for our son but you can have to let me make my own decision Maura. If it were any body else but you..."

"I know, I know. You don't like to be told what to do and I know that you allow me to be directive that because you love me. Thank you."

"I allow you to take the lead from time to time because I know your intentions are good, that you're not trying to control me but today was different. I can't believe you would force me to go on desk duty."

"I won't. I know this decision has to come from you. I just...When Detective Frost called me and told me what happened my heart stopped beating. I started to have flashback of what happened a few months ago and I panicked. I'm sorry." Maura sobbed her head down remembering the night when she thought they were going to loose the baby.

"Oh Maura...I'm sorry, this had nothing to do with what happened that night. I told you I stood up a bit too quickly and lost my balance. I'm so sorry for worrying you. Here, can you feel him moving and kicking?"Placing Maura's hand on her belly Jane suddenly realized that she acted out of fear, that after what happened a few months ago her heart must be racing at every phone call she received form Frost.

"Yes, he's kicking. I think he recognizes my voice." Moving her hand on Jane's belly Maura could feel the baby moving following her hand.

"Yes he does, you're the only one who can calm him down when he's kicking which he actually starts doing when you're not around. I think I better get used to it if I take my maternity leave."

"Oh Jane, you don't have to do that. I know you're still perfectly capable of doing your job without it being dangerous for our baby, well if we take aside the fact that you're a Detective..."

"I know I'm still capable of doing my job but I don't know if I really want to."

"Oh..."

"Yeah. I love my job but it's not the same. Ever since you told me I was pregnant I can't help but thinking twice before rising my voice on a suspect in the interrogation room, or before coming in when serve warrants you know. I even let Frost run after suspect because I'm scare to tackle them down."

"It's your maternal instinct talking, you know that every time you interrogate a suspect he might attack you or that when you serve a warrant you might get shot at. There is nothing wrong about it."

"I know but it slows me down and therefore it puts me and Frost in danger, it's not fair to him. If I can't shoot a suspect without hesitating then maybe It's time for me to go on maternity leave." Speaking those words Jane could barely believe what she was considering. Ever since she found out she was pregnant she always thought she would do her job until the last minute, that she would probably start having contraction on the job. But right now her priorities had changed and her desire to protect her baby was greater than her desire to catch bad guys.

"Well, if you think it's better for you I will support you but you still have 18 weeks before giving birth don't you think staying home might be hard for you?"Considering every single word coming out of her mouth Maura was relieved that Jane had made that decision but was also worry on how she was going to occupy her days.

"Well considering Ma is only working part time she's probably gonna insist to keep me company and besides you're going to stop working at some point too right?" Jane asked panicked at the eventuality of having her first contractions without Maura being there.

"Of course I am. Obviously considering I intend to take at least 6 months off after the baby is born I'm going to need to find a replacement , but I think I should be able to join you at least 4 weeks before you give birth so we have time to prepare ourselves. How does that sound?"Holding her hand Maura was determined to reassure Jane knowing how scared she was of giving birth.

"6 months?Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, I don't want to be my mother Jane. I have every intention of putting our son and our family first and my carrer second. I hope you believe me when I say that." Looking straight into Jane's eyes Maura meant every words she said. The last thing she wanted was to wake up some day and realizing her son hates her and that she missed his entire life because she was too busy at work. Being a neglected child she was determined not to repeat her parents' mistake and put her family first even if it meant sacrificing her carrer.

"Of course I do, we both do. If you feel you need to stay home for 6 months after he's born then we'll be more than happy to have you home as long as possible, but I might actually go back to work before you." Jane smiled kissing the top of Maura's hand seeing how determined she was to be a better mother than her own.

"Well I'm sure that once you hold our son in your arms you will feel no desire to go back to work, but when you decides you're ready I will support you completely, don't sorry about me I wouldn't mind being a stay at home mom."

"Oh...okay well. As much as I love our son I know that at some point I'm going to have to go back to work but if you decide you want to stay home. I will support you too."

"Mutual support, that's the key to any successful relationship."

"Exactly."

Sitting on their couch talking about their future maternity leaves Jane and Maura suddenly realized that in 4 and a half months a baby would arrive changing their lives completely. Actually both women had already changed a lot since they became parents : Jane for the first time in her life was considering leaving her job voluntarily and Maura who has always been career oriented was now considering becoming a stay home mother. Yes having a baby had changed them but it all happened very naturally, non of those changes were force of them, having a baby had just changed their priorities and the way they pictured the rest of their lives. Even if they were still trying to figure things out one thing was sure though : Maura, Jane and their baby were a family and that was their priority from now on. No mater what sacrifice or compromise they might have to do to keep their family together they were willing to do everything in their power to finally have the happy ending they had been dreaming about for years.

**Alright guys, I know you might think it's too soon for Jane to go on maternity leave but I wanted her to stay home and get bored which is going to lead to some seriou dramas like...jealous Jane(next chapter) that should be fun!**

**Also I never plan on marking Maura a stay home mom but considering she was neglected by her parents I think she might try to do everything in her power to make sure she doesn't turn into her mother, even if it means scarifying her career.**

**Happy new year to all of you!**


	16. Insecurities

**Chapter 16 :**

**Insecurities :**

A week later after considering it carefully Jane had decided to take her maternity leave sooner than expected. Obviously staying home all day was at first pretty challenging for someone like her who always received great satisfaction being in the field. Luckily for her Jane wasn't alone and could count on Angela to distract her and give her endless lecture on birth, breast feeding and on the multitude joys of becoming a mother. So even if staying inactive was hard at first Jane found herself relatively happy to stay home able to enjoy her pregnancy free of any work related stress. Unfortunately one of the main down side of her new situation was that she didn't get to see Maura as much as she used to. Even if Maura always tried her best to free herself from her duties to have lunch with Jane on almost daily basis and to get home as early as possible she had, as the chief medical examiner a heavy work load that kept them apart most of the day.

Jane was now 25 weeks pregnant and as the two women were comfortably in bed enjoying their sunday morning Maura's phone suddenly rang waking both of them up.

"No Maura, it's freaking sunday, don't answer that." Jane groaned burying her head under her pillow.

"I'm sorry It's Detective Morales who's sending me a text telling me Frost and her have a suspect in custody." Maura replied freeing herself from Jane's embrace.

"Great, congratulate her for me, she might not be that bad after all." The truth was that Detective Morales , the cop who was replacing her as Frost partner during her maternity leave has been transfered from New-York highly recommended but Jane had trouble sharing her partners and her girlfriend with the younger Detective.

"She is actually very competent, highly motivated and fearless. We're lucky to have her. Now if you would excuse me I need to get go to..."

"Yeah I know, you need to go process the evidence..."Rolling on her side turning her back on her girlfriend Jane felt once again abandoned and neglected by Maura who for the third week end in a row choose to work.

"I'm sorry Jane. I know that you feel lonely all week when I'm at work and that working on week ends only worsen things but remember that in exactly 6 weeks I will be on maternity leave and you will be able to enjoy my presence full time for an unlimited period of time." Maura whispered kissing the back of Jane's neck her arms snaked around her belly.

"I know, come on go get the bad guys, Ma is here I'll be fine."Sighing knowing she didn't have any other choice but to let Maura go Jane was trying to remain patient and understanding knowing in 6 weeks Maura would be home on a full time basis to help her during her last months of pregnancy.

"Alright. I love you Jane and you too..." Kissing Jane's temple before blowing kisses on her belly Maura was feeling terrible : she had promised Jane not ot be like her mother and to always priorities to her family but was again working on a saturday.

Later that day after spending the morning doing breathing exercices with her mother Jane decided to surprise Maura at work, knowing how guilty she must have felt to have to work on a sunday again.

Stepping towards out of the elevator walking towards Maura's office carrying lunch from her favorite place Jane felt different than during her previous visits. During the past month she had visited Maura for lunch regularly and had always felt nostalgic being here, listening to her colleagues talking about open cases knowing it was none of her business anymore. Today she felt different though, she felt that she had made the right decision by taking her maternity leave, that staying in a place surrounded by death and criminal would have had negatives consequences on her baby. Walking past the transparent windows of Maura's office Jane could see how serious and preoccupied she was, sitting at her desk her eyes fixated on her computer.

"Damn you're hot when you're that serious." Jane joked stepping in Maura's office.

"Jane!What...what are you doing here?"Fidgeting on her chair as she suddenly saw Jane standing in the middle of her office Maura rapidly closed the file she was reading and stood up .

"I was home with my mother doing breathing exercices and I suddenly felt the need to strangle her so I figured it was time for us to escape and visit you so we can have lunch. Our little guy has been kicking even since I left the house." Reaching out for Maura's hand Jane could feel there was something bothering her , it was written all over her face.

"Oh, right, right. I'm very very sorry but I'm swamped. I have an autopsy to perform and analysis to do as well." Maura replied pulling her hand avoiding eye contact.

"Alright..."Narrowing her eyebrows studying Maura's facial expression Jane was desperately trying to figure out what was really going on that made Maura decline lunch.

"Dr Isles?Oh Detective Rizzoli, I'm sorry I didn't know you were here. I'm going to have to steal Dr Isles away from you, our lastest victim is ready for you Doctor." Standing behind her suddenly appeared Jane's newest worse enemy. She was 28 years old, from mexican descendants, long straight brown hair, was about the same high as Maura, and was also extremely fit.

"It's alright Dr Isles was telling me she had to perform an autopsy." Jane replied narrowing her eyebrows regretting not having her gun on her to shot the Detective who was looking at Maura in a way that was everything but appropriate.

"I will be right there Detective." Maura replied taking her lab coat off.

"Alright." Detective Morales replied leaving the room.

"Well Jane, I'm sorry but I really have to go I will see you tonight. I'm going to try my best to be home for dinner." Maura said walking away barely looking at Jane.

"What the fuck is wrong with your mommy today?"Standing in the middle of Maura's office feeling her blood pressure rise Jane couldn't believe that she would just blow her off like that without a kiss or a word to their son.

Driving back home that afternoon Jane was pissed at Maura not only for working on a sunday but also for blowing her off like that leaving her standing in the middle of her office. The truth was Jane couldn't help but feeling that Maura had changed since she had left and was convinced that it had something ti do with that new Detective. Obviously Jane knew how much Maura loved her and their son and that she would never do anything to compromise their family but she couldn't help but feeling less than comfortable knowing that her girlfriend spent hours alone with that Morales girl. As comfortable as Jane was now with her changing body she couldn't help but feeling insecure especially since her remplacement was fairly younger, fitter and extremely attractive. She couldn't help but thinking that Maura was sometimes postponing coming home at night and how could she blame her?Not only she still had terrible mood swings but the little time they spent together was mainly spent talking about the baby and Jane understood considering how routine and boring their life had became that Maura was less than enthusiastic to come home to her. Unfortunately Jane knew that there was nothing she could do to make their situation or living condition more attractive to her girlfriend and was praying that she loved her and their son enough not to make a big mistake.

Later that night, around 8 pm Maura finally arrived home exhausted. Taking her coat and shoes off, walking towards their bedroom Maura knew that her behavior today had been less than affectionate and that Jane would probably be mad at her. Stepping into their bedroom seeing Jane lying on her back visibly sleeping Maura quietly climbed in bed next to her immediately placing her hand on her belly.

"I'm sorry for working today and coming out so late. I promise that once you're born I will never be working on week ends." Maura replied her head on Jane's belly.

"He's stopped kicking an hour ago he must be sleeping now." Jane mumbled opening her eyes.

"I'm sorry Jane, I had to conduct this autopsy urgently." Maura replied feeling the disappointment in Jane's voice.

"Right, it was so urgent that you didn't have time to kiss me goodbye or to say a few words to our baby?Oh wait you barely had time to even look at me right?" Jane grunted sitting up in bed pushing Maura aside in the process.

"Jane..."

"No, you know what? I already had dinner with Ma, so how about you go fix yourself something and than go sleep in the guest room or better how about you ask Detective Morales to offer you hospitality?"Turning her back on Maura Jane could feel her heart racing in her chest.

"Oh Jane, you can not be serious!"Maura replied taking a deep breath finally seeing what has been causing Jane's erratic behavior over the past week or so.

"Oh I'm fucking serious Maura. Do you think I don't see the way she looks at you and how you carefully avoid coming out at night to "work" with her?"Jane replied bouncing out off bed unable to feel Maura's hands on her anymore.

"Jane...I...I know you have trouble adjusting to the fact that we have a new partner but I can promise you that there is nothing other than professional between us. I'm sorry but are very busy these days and that's why I'm offen stuck at work."

"Well that's not the impression I have every time the tree of us are in the same room and you stay as far away from me as you can. Does she even know that we're together?"Rising her voice immediately feeling the baby kicking Jane was determined to confront Maura on her neglect and disrespectful behavior.

"Of course she knows! God the entire departement knows and considering that I have pictures of us on my desk and also your last ultrasound framed I think that anyone with some deduction skills would understand. "

"Right but it doesn't change the fact that I hate the way she looks at you and that you spend so many hours with her, it's inappropriate." Jane replied unsatisfied by Maura's answer.

"Alright then. I'm going to make some more efforts to be home earlier and to display my affection in front of her from now on. I promise." Maura replied genuinely concerned by Jane's feelings.

"That's not enough, I want you to stop working with her."Standing in front of their bed her arms crossed on her chest Jane wasn't willing to be understanding and patient anymore, this Detective was obviously creating a void between them and Maura had to fix it.

"Jane, can you please calm down, how can you even think that there is anything going on between us?"

"Well I saw the way you look at her and I can't really blame you for being attracted to her, I mean look at me and how boring how life has been for the past few months, I can understand you might be tempted by something younger and more exciting."

"Oh...Jane. How can you possibly think that? You are the most attractive woman I ever met in my life. The more time passes the more attracted I am, and our life is as excited as I always dreamed it would be. There is nothing missing in my life Jane, I have everything I always wanted right here." Pulling Jane against her looking up at her straight in the eyes Maura's heart broke into pieces at the thought that Jane felt that she wasn't enough for her anymore or that she was bored at home.

"I just...I hate that she's so fucking young, attractive, fit..."Holding her tears resting her chin on Maura's head Jane felt reassured by Maura's words but she still felt threatened by Morales.

"I...love...you."Maura said pulling Jane on the bed.

That night Maura made love to Jane for hours, wandering her fingers and tongue on every single square inch of her body paying extra attention to her large belly. She wanted to prove to her how much she loved and desired and that she was the only one for her. That night Jane fell asleep in Maura's arm confident that Maura was perfectly satisfied with her and that even if their situation wasn't ideal she wasn't looking else where. Her ego boosted by Maura's touch Jane knew that if Maura had promised to come home at more reasonable hours she would have to make some efforts to trust her more, that she couldn't put them through unnecessary drama.

The next morning Jane woke up in a very good mood and decided to drop Maura work before going shopping for some new maternity clothes with her mother.

Standing in the middle of her office her arms snaked around Jane Maura was unable to let her go, not after the wonderful moment they had share that night.

"You know someday we should do it in your office, I would love nothing more than take you right here on your desk."Jane said grabbing Maura lifting her up on her desk.

"I think we could arrange that but after hours sounds more reasonable." Maura smiled relieved that their making love session had reassured Jane.

"Well I will come pick you up tonight then, well if I'm still able to drive, my belly is growing by the hour!"Jane replied looking down at her belly feeling her son kicking.

"Well women typically gain most of the weight during the last trimester but as I demonstrated yesterday it's not really an issue. So today if I have time I promise I'm going work on finding you a name young man as it looks like your mother wants me to choose." Maura said kissing Jane's belly her legs wrapped around Jane's.

"Well, it seems appropriate but don't worry about it Ma says that the second you see and hold him a name will come naturally so don't pressure yourself." Jane smiled kissing the top of Maura's head.

"Hum Hum, excuse me Doctor Isles..." A shy voice suddenly spoke from a few feet behind.

"Yes Detective, please come in." Jane smiled turning around seeing the embarrassed look on the younger Detective's face.

"Well baby, I will see you tonight. You...be quiet you know how hard it is to get your mommy to go shopping. If you behave yourself I promise I will play some Mozart later alright?" Maura said bouncing off her desk trying to fix her dress.

"Right, like that's gonna happen. I will see you tonight I love you." Jane whispered pulling her against her kissing her passionately determined to make Morales see that she was taken.

"I love you too, now go your mother is waiting downstairs."Maura replied breaking kiss.

"Alright. Detective please make you Maura finishes work at a reasonable hour tonight? OUR son doesn't like falling asleep without her talking to him." Jane said walking by Morales seeing the amazed look on her face.

"Okay." Detective Morales nodded swallowing hard looking down at Jane's belly.

**So guys what did you think?Jane freaked out because she thought Maura was attracted to a younger fitter Detective and went all cave woman on her and than clearly clame her as hers, that was hot right?**

**Happy new year to all of you, if you have the time please nominate me for the Rizzles fan fiction awards here **** : rizzlesfanawards . wordpress . com (obviously without the spaces.)**


	17. Legal rights

**To D : I'm sorry :( I'm online if you want to talk. No ice I promise :)**

**Chapter 17 :**

**Legal rights : **

About 3 weeks later Jane was now 28 weeks pregnant. After spending the past 21 days doing everything she could to prove to Jane that she was fully invested in this pregnancy and showing her that her career only came in second Maura was confident that her girlfriend was now completely reassured. Luckily the past 3 weeks have being extremely slow at work allowing them to spend more time together, to go to nursing and birth classes to prepare themselves for the arrival of their son.

That thursday evening Jane was quietly sitting on their sofa watching the food channel which was something she had learned to appreciate because it gave her ideas of meals she could ask her mother or Maura to cook for her.

Around 7pm Jane suddenly heard Maura's car in the driveway.

"Oh, Mommy is home."Jane said immediately feeling the baby kicking.

"Hey."Maura said taking her shoes and coat off relieved to finally be home to her family.

"Someone is tired." Seeing Maura dragging her feet towards the sofa Jane could see how exhausting all this was for her, between taking of her, of their baby, working plus dealing with Angela she didn't have a minute to herself anymore but never complained.

"No, I'm alright. It has been a long day, that's all. How was your day? Did we receive the furniture for the nursery?"Falling on the couch settling in Jane's arms, her head on her belly Maura could barely keep her eyes opened but was still concerned about the nursery.

"Yes we did and it's all in the guest room. When are we installing everything in the nursery?"Jane asked stroking Maura's hair.

"Once I found the perfect wall paper. I'm sorry I wanted to take care of it this week but I got swamped at work."

"Don't worry about it. I'm not due for another 2 months and besides you don't have to do everything on your own. I can help you with the wallpaper."

"You're sweet but I really want the nursery to be my gift to our son. I will find the time next week. I promise."

"Alright, hey where were you this afternoon? Ma and I came by the morgue after lunch and we couldn't find you and your assistant had no idea where you were."

"Yes, I had thing I needed to take care off."Maura mumbled biting her lower lip her head still on Jane's belly.

"What kind of things?"Hearing Maura's response Jane's cop radar immediately started biping telling her she was holding something back.

"Nothing you should be concerned about. Please stop asking me what I was doing you know I can't lie." Suddenly rising her head Maura knew that Jane wasn't going to let this go but wasn't willing to share this information.

"And you don't want to tell me the truth?"

"It's not that I don't want to tell you but..."

"You know what, don't say another word. If you want to keep things from fine, I just thought we weren't supposed to have any secrets." Standing up walking towards their bedroom Jane was disappointed that Maura would hide things from her, especially knowing how insecure she was.

"Jane, wait!"Following Jane in their bedroom Maura had a feeling that they were about to have one of those argument where she would basically go on her knee and profess her love and loyalty over and over to calm her down.

"No Maura. After all we've been through I thought that you understood that honesty was something essential if we wanted to make things work." Jane replied painfully climbing in bed holding her belly.

"Jane, look. I love you and I love our son and I'm completely devoted to our family but I'm still my own person and sometimes I need to be able to do things for myself you know." Joining Jane on their bed Maura could obviously see Jane's point but as devoted as she was she sometimes felt trapped and needed to do things by herself, for herself from time to time without having to report to her.

"I get that Maura, I really do. I know how much you're giving us and sometimes I even ask myself what I could have done to deserve someone so selfless . I do believe you deserve time on your own to enjoy yourself but this afternoon was different. I didn't know where you were and you didn't pick up your phone and I got worried. I would have appreciated if you had told me you were taking the afternoon off that's all."

"Fair enough. I understand you were worried and I apologize. I just knew you would want me to tell you what I had planned to do and I'm just…"

"You're what?Look Maura, you have the right to your private life and to do what ever you want without reporting to me but I have a feeling that what ever you were doing this afternoon was important it worries that you wouldn't talk to me about it."

"Alright, I was with Dr Thomas . I have been shadowing her at the hospital for the past week." Maura finally confessed unwilling to keep Jane worried and defensive any longer.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because my Obstetric rotation was over 15 years ago and I want to be fully prepared when you give birth to our son. So I decided to observe her for a while."

"Oh Maura, that's the sweetest thing you ever done for us, but you don't need to do that. What we need isn't for you to be the Doctor. What I'm going to need you to do is hold my hand and calm me down and encourage me and to hold our baby once he is out. I do not need you to take Dr Thomas' place." Holding Maura's hand Jane suddenly felt extremely guilty for being suspicious over Maura's sudden secretiveness and was amazed by how much effort Maura was putting into this pregnancy.

"I know, you need me to be a parent not the physician, but it's just my way of apprehending and preparing myself for this."

"Alright, if it makes you feel better and more confident I understand. But know that I never doubted you. I'm sure you're going to be great and knowing that you're going to be with me holding my hand keeps me from completely freaking out. " Jane pouted kissing the top of Maura's hand.

"Thank you for your confidence, it means a lot. I promise you that I'm going to do everything I can to support you and to make things as comfortable as possible for you."

"I know...So was that the only thing you were doing this afternoon?"Jane asked biting her lip.

"No, I met my lawyer to update my will and set up a trust fund for our son. Nothing you have to worry about. Actually I have some papers for you to sign saw I can put your name on the tittle of our house."

"Wow Maura, don't you think you're over reacting a bit?" Narrowing her eye brows studying the serious look on Maura's face Jane knew that Maura had probably spent part of the afternoon taking care of things she never even considered and as much as she loved how organized she was it was actually scaring her a bit.

"No, actually you should update your will as well. We are going to be parents Jane we need to make sure everything is in order in case something happens to us. As for the trust funds well the sooner we plan it the better. Once the baby is born we won't have time to think about that."

"Alright. I just…"Sitting up in bed Jane was extremely uncomfortable with Maura's actions. Even if they had spent hours talking about their son and how they wanted to raise him they actually never talked about the financial aspect of their relationship. Obviously Jane always knew that Maura wanted their son to have the best things in life including the best education possible but even after years of knowing her she was still uncomfortable with Maura being so wealthy.

"Oh Jane, is this about money?"Maura asked realizing that they actually never talked about money and knowing how uncomfortable Jane was with her money knew this was a mistake that she needed to correct.

"Sort of. I mean I had every intention of starting a college fund from him, but I was also going to raise him making sure he studies hard to earn a scholar ship rather than handling him his college education on a silver plater."

"I can understand that and I have no intention of spoiling him either. I want to teach him that even if he was fortunate enough to be born with privileges life isn't about money and I'm hoping to help him find his vocation and I intend to make sure he works hard to achieve his dreams. That said I'm also going to make sure our son can benefit from every advantages of being an Isles. "

"He's also a Rizzoli you know."

"Of course, Oh Jane I'm so sorry I'm turning into my father. I promise I won't let money come between us. If you don't want any of this I will stop the process and we can do things your way." Maura mumbled unwilling to worsen Jane in her insecurities regarding her wealth.

"No, you are right. We need to make sure our son is taken care of if anything happens to us. This is just new for me. I usually just deal things when they arrive. I know that I can't afford to do that anymore and I'm grateful that you're more organized and prepared than I am."

"Well I was raised this way and I don't want you to have to worry about money or paper work. Just focus on yourself and the baby alright?"

"Alright. Speaking of paperwork you ask your lawyer about the adoption?" As crazy as it might sound Jane was now 2 months away from giving birth but Maura and her hadn't discussed the adoption yet, probably because in her mind they were already a family and this adoption only a formality.

"Yes. He said that because we aren't married I had to petition for adoption and considering that Agent Dean was kind enough to waive his parental right it shouldn't be a problem at all. If we start the paper work now I can petition right after the birth and then it will only be a matter of months, don't worry about it."

"Oh, you wouldn't have to adopt him if we were married?" Jane frowned realizing she knew little of the current legislation regarding same couple legal rights to adopt and marry. All she knew was that their state had legalized it years ago but she knew nothing about they would have to go through to make sure Maura's rights were recognized.

"No but he said that he still advices married couple in our situation to petition for adoption which helps recognition in other states especially the one who don't recognize same couple marriage. You know in case the family travels out of state and something happens so the non biological parent can make decision for the child, medical ones for example."

"Alright I understand, but you won't be able to put your name on the birth certificate right away?"

"No, we would have to wait until the adoption is finalized and only then amend the birth certificate, but don't worry about it, my lawyer is going to take care of everything."

"Yeah but it sucks, you have been taking care of this child since we found out I was pregnant. You shouldn't have to go through the pain of having your life examined by a court or of having to go under a Social Service investigation to determine if you're a fit mother."Jane grunted pissed that even after everything Maura has been through and has done for their son a judge could refuse to recognize her as his mother.

"Would you just calm down for a second?Think about all the countries that don't recognize or allow same sex couple to adopt or get married, actually think about the countries that actually still consider homosexuality as a mental desease. I know our situation isn't ideal but I'm grateful to live in a country that recognize our family so just relax and let me take care of it please." Kissing Jane's cheek Maura smiled amazed by how passionate she was regarding their family and the truth was that she didn't need a judge to tell her she was allowed to be their son's mother but knew that it was important for her to have the same legal right as Jane.

"I know we're lucky to live in the US especially in Massachusetts but I still think it's unfair to you to have to go all that procedural BS and you know it's like we don't have any way of fixing this problem. "Biting her lower lip Jane realized the second she said those word that she had just dropped a bomb on Maura's head.

"Was that a proposal Detective?" Smiling Maura actually thought that Jane was joking, considering they actually never talked about getting married.

"I don't know, would you accept if it was?"

"Jane, you're sweet but this isn't necessary."

"I know but I know you're very traditional and I kinda always pictured us getting married at some point, don't you?"

"Of course Jane. I would love nothing more than to officialize our relationship by getting married but I think that we have other priorities right now. How about we talk about it once the baby is born?" The truth was that Maura has been dreaming about becoming Mrs Rizzoli or so long that she already had a very clear idea of what she wanted her dress and the wedding to look like.

"I was kinda hoping we would talk about it before he's born, this way you wouldn't have to go through with all the bureaucratic BS."

"Oh, so you want us to get married just to avoid an adoption procedure, very romantic." Pulling her hand away from Jane's belly Maura's heart stopped beating. Ever since she was a little girl Jane had dreamed about meeting her soul mate and about getting married in the most magical, romantic way possible but was once again confronted to Jane's complete lack of romanticism.

"No, I'm sorry. That came out wrong. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I want us to be a family. Actually we have been a family since day one and I would like our state to recognize it as soon as possible and besides I'm dying to see in in a fancy white dress. Actually I can not wait to take it off with my teeth." Taking Maura's hand gently stroking it with her fingers Jane could see the pain in her eyes and immediately understood how insensitive she was considering how romantic Maura was.

"Oh Jane, you're sweet but do you realize that you're due in 8 weeks?" Feeling Jane's sincerity in her voice Maura's heart melting for a second but she immediately realize the challenge that getting married before the baby is born would represent.

"Oh I see...You don't want to marry me while I'm almost at term I understand, I mean I can barely lift up my feet anymore not to mention I look like an elephant, that wouldn't make wedding pictures unpleasant to look at." Jane teased knowing exactly why Maura mentioned the fact that she was almost at term.

"Oh no, Jane, that's not what I meant, the closer you get to your due date the more gorgeous you are. What I meant was that organizing a wedding not only takes time but can be quite stressful and we both know how he reacts to stress."

"Well I'm sure our mothers would be more than happy to help us with the preparations and I trust you to keep me away from any situation that would upset me."

"Alright, wait here…"Bouncing out off bed Maura realized that Jane was serious and also right : they had lost enough time before finally facing their feelings and they was nothing stopping them from getting married now.

"Okay…"Jane nodded watching Maura walking through the door.

A few minutes later after going through the safe located in her office and taking a moment to breath and compose herself Maura came back and immediately kneeled in front of their bed.

"Maura what are you doing?" Jane mumbled her eyes wide opened.

"I'm doing this the right way, you're not the only one who has been thinking about this." Maura smiled opening her hand revealing a small blue box.

"Oh boy..."Sitting on the edge of their bed suddenly realizing what Maura was about to do Jane couldn't breath. In all her wildest fantasies she was always the one going down on one knee and asking Maura to marry her, hell she always pictured Maura caring their child if they ever got together. The truth was that none of what happened in the past 7 months happened the way they had pictured or fantasized it but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that they were finally about to have their happy ending.

"Jane, I love you, I always have and always will. The past 7 months has been the most exciting, life changing experience of my life. Sometimes I feel that we're going a million time faster than other people but considering the time we lost because we were scared of facing our feelings I think we're doing thing at the perfect pace. I don't want to be scared anymore Jane. I don't want us to let our fears dictate the way we live our lives anymore. I love you and I love our son and I would love nothing more than if you would do me the honor of becoming my wife." Looking up in Jane's big brown eyes, feeling the tears streaming down her cheek Maura's heart was racing in her chest. After spending years denying their feelings and therefore denying themselves the right to be happy the two women were finally together, about to have a child and willing to seal their lives for ever. After spending her entire life looking for its meaning Maura had finally found it and after years of feeling lonely she knew that she would never had to be alone ever again. She knew that she had a family now, that in two months she would be able to hold that tiny human being who would completely depend on her and as scary as all this might appear to be for most people Maura felt she was born for this and couldn't wait to spend the rest of her life being Jane's wife and a mother.

"Yes Maura. I would love that."Jane simply replied unable to articulate a longer response. One of the reason why she had waited for so long to tell Maura about Dean and she thought she was pregnant was because she was scared that it would probably ruin any chances Maura and her ever had to be together. Luckily for her getting pregnant didn't break them appart it actually brought them closer and made them face their feelings. After spending months beating herself up for being stupid enough to sleep with Dean Jane realized that it might have been the best thing that ever did : not only it had resulted in her getting pregnant but also it had contributed to her and Maura finally getting together.

That night Maura and Jane spent hours talking about their weeding, wondering how they were going to manage to organize it in such a short notice. Laying in bed the two women never felt happier in their entire lives. They had everything they had always dreamed about : a child on the way, families and friends who supported them, jobs they loved, financial ressources that allowed them to stay on maternity leaves longer than most people and on top of that they were about to seal their lives for ever. Yes even if nothing had happened the way they had pictured it the two women never felt so fulfilled in their entire lives thinking that maybe it was just the way things were meant to happen.

**Alright guys , this was so not planned, don't know what happened. I know it might seems weird that they would want to get married now but I can understand that they want to do it before the baby is way Maura wouldn't have to go through the adoption procedure and besides it makes sense for any couple to feel the desire to get married before their child is born, regardless if they're straight or gay.**

**As always reviews are more than welcome guys!I think the next few chapters are gonna be intense!**

**PS: Feel free to nominate me or any story I wrote for a Rizzles fan fic award right here : rizzlesfanawards . wordpress . com!Votes will be opened soon and I will keep you informed thanks!**


	18. Grand mother

**Chapter 16 :**

**Grand Ma :**

About two week later after announcing to their loved ones that they were finally getting married Maura decided it was time for her to take her maternity leave as well. After spending the past two months interviewing potential Medical Examiners she had finally found someone she trusted was competent enough to take over her position. As eager as Maura was to finally be able to enjoy her family on a full time basis her professional conscience pushed her to take her time to find the perfect ME to take over especially considering she had no idea for how long she would be gone or if she was even coming back.

So that sunday evening Maura and Jane were in their living room, Jane layed down on the couch and Maura sitting on the floor looking at some invitations samples their wedding planner had given them.

"What do you think of this one? I like the color and the font is very romantic don't you think?" Maura asked handing the invitation to Jane.

"I don't know. You have better taste than me for those things and besides every one we want to invite already knows so why do we need to send these?" As much as she loved Maura and wanted to give her the wedding of her dreams Jane wasn't at all into the all planning thing.

"Because when we'll look at our wedding album or when we'll show to our son it would be nice to be able to look at them."

"Alright."Looking at the ceiling trying to breath Jane was uncomfortable, she had felt nauseous the entire day and nothing seemed to calm her down.

"Are you sure you're alright?You look a little pale today."Now kneeling in front of Jane Maura could see how painful this pregnancy was becoming and couldn't help but thinking that getting married before the baby is born might actually not be the brightest idea they had.

"I'm alright but I would really appreciate it if you could induce labor now, please…."Jane pouted unable to sit up. The past months has been particularely had for Jane, not only her morning sickness never stopped but she had gained substentious amount of weight and could barely get out of bed or get dressed without Maura's help. Luckily for her their relationship was so strong that she didn't feel embarrassed of being physically incapacitated and never hesitated to ask for help. The thing that was the hardest though was the constent pain : Not only the baby kicked a lot but he also changed position several times a day which was excruciating for Jane.

"I'm sorry Jane, I can't do that. Even if the baby is almost fully developed the closer to term you give birth the better. What I can do though is postpone the wedding."Not insensitive to her fiancee's pain Maura was also eager for Jane to give birth. Even if she didn't carry their son herself Maura has been fully invested in this pregnancy since day one. She completely put her life aside to take care of Jane. She would wake up in the middle of the night to satisfy her cravings, would deal with her mood swings and her body image issues, not to mention that for the past month Jane has been almost unable to dress up or enter the bathtub on her own. As much as Maura enjoyed taking care of her she was exhausted and couldn't help for Jane to give birth.

"No, I'm fine. I really want to marry you Maura, we waited long enough. I just hope I won't give birth during the ceremony, that would be embarassing." Jane grinned seeing the worried look on her fiancee's face. She knew Maura had almost lost sleep and wasn't willing to put her through any more stress.

"Well if you keep quiet and relax there is no reason for you to go into premature labor, but if it happens don't worry I will be ready."

"I know. I love you. I just wish that I could take you on our honey moon right away."

"Don't worry about it, we can take vacation when ever we want after the baby is born. You mother is already excited to look after him."Maura replied kissing her forhead.

"I know. After everything we've been through over the past few months we can used some vacation." Jane sighed as the bell suddenly rang.

" I'll get it." Maura replied kissing Jane before walking towards the door.

"Please let it not be my mother forgetting her keys . I can not deal with her now."Jane groaned trying stand up as well.

"Mother!What are you doing here?" Opening the door expecting it to be Angela as well Maura almost fainted as she saw her own mother standing in front of her.

"Maura darling, it's a pleasure to see you too." Constance smiled stepping into Maura's house.

"Yes, Of course, I'm sorry I was just not expecting you." Maura mumbled closing the door behind her.

"Well you called me and left a message saying you had something to tell me that you couldn't tell me over the phone so I took the first plane."

"Right right, Jane?"

"Yeah I'm still here, a little help please!" Jane replied waving her arms in the hair struggling to sit up on her own.

"Oh sweetheart are you alright?"Maura replied rushing towards her.

"Yeah I just couldn't sit up. Mrs Isles, it's very nice to see you again."Jane replied her hand on her belly, trying to catch her breath.

"Likewise Detective." Constance eyes replied shaking Jane's hand, her eyes inevitably attracted towards her belly.

"See little guy this is your grand mother, remember your mommy and I told you about her, don't worry you'll get used to the weird accent." Jane joked rubbing her belly.

"Grand mother?" Constance frowned.

"You haven't told her yet?"Jane grinned looking at her girlfriend.

"No I haven't , Jane, mother please have a sit. Well mother, remember I told you I had something to tell you?" Sitting next to Jane holding her hand Maura wasn't panicking or hyperventilating as she thought she would be. She was calm, confident knowing that her mother would be thrilled.

"I can't believe you haven't told her yet!Ouch…it seems that your son agrees with me on this." Closing her eyes squeezing Maura's hand Jane's entire body was suddenly overwhelmed by the sensation of the baby repositioning himself.

"Is he kicking?" Constance asked.

"Yes he kicks a lot but for the past month he has been repositioning himself a lot and that is painful. At first feeling him kicking and moving was magical but now it's painful and uncomfortable and the only thing that calms him down is is Maura's voice."Jane replied taking a deep breath feeling the baby calming down.

"I remember when Maura was a baby and she was upset, what ever her father did was never enough all that could calm her down when I was holding her."Looking at Maura massaging Jane's belly and holding her hand Constance didn't need any explanation, she knew what was going on and was actually thrilled.

"You were mommy's little girl why am I not surprised?"Jane grinned.

"I see nothing wrong with that, right little guy?"Her head and hands on Jane's belly listening to the baby Maura almost forgot her mother was right there and that she hasn't told her yet.

"So Jane when is your due date?"

"In about 6 week . God I can not wait, now I understand why you choose adoption. As much as I love our son I wouldn't put myself through that again."

"Good because nobody is asking you too. I will be happy to carry our next one."Leaning over brushing Jane's lips Maura thought it would be easier to just be herself around Jane and let her mother draw her own conclusion. It was the coward way to do that but Maura was now close enough to her mother to know that she didn't need any explanation, that seeing her happy was enough

"You bet you will."Jane smiled gently rubbing Maura's cheek with her thumb.

"So the two of you are in a relationship?"Observing the two women kissing, holding hands and interacting with their unborn son Constance couldn't help but being overwhelmed by an intense feeling of happiness and relief. Even if Maura and her had become closer since she had that open heart conversation with Jane Constance knew that she had neglected her daughter for most of her life and knew how lonely she had been before she met Jane and was relieved that had finally a family of her own.

"Yes mother we're together mother. I'm sorry I haven't told you before, I suppose I didn't know how to tell you."Holding Jane's hand looking straight in her mother's eyes Maura couldn't help but praying for her mother's blessing. Even now, as a world class Pathologist,a future wife and mother who had everything she always dreamed about in life Maura still needed her mother's approval.

"How long have you two been seeing each other?"

"About 6 months now, right?"

"Yes that sounds about right and we're….getting married in two weeks."Jane smiled waving her finger putting her engagement ring in evidence.

"Maura, Jane!That's terrific congratulations!"Constance let out clapping her hand unable to hide her enthusiasm.

"So you're no objecting to this?"Narrowing her eyebrows analyzing her mother's facial expression Maura was trying to figure out if her enthusiasm was sincere.

"Of course not Maura. I don't Jane know very well but I know her enough to be convince that she's deeply in love with you. So I'm obviously not surprise to hear you are engaged. I'm just wondering why you're not waiting until the baby is born to get married?"

"Well Maura had a meeting with her lawyer who said that because we're not married she would have to adopt the baby after he's born and as you know adoption procedure can be a pain. So after talking about it we decided it was better if we got married before he's born, that way Maura will automatically be recognized as his mother. But to be completely honest with you Ma'am the main reason is that your daughter and I have been in love for so long that we really can not wait anymore."

"Well I'm happy for you both of you. After all you have been through this year you both deserve your happy ending and knowing that my daughter is going to marry the only person I would trust with her life make me happier than I have never been." Constance mumbled walking towards Jane her arms wide open.

"Thank you Ma'am, your support means a lot to both of us."Jane replied feeling Constance arms around her her belly keeping her from going all the way around her.

"Yes mother, your support means a lot to us and I'm sure to your grand son as well." Maura added biting her lower lips observing her mother her hands on Jane's belly trying to feel him moving or kicking.

"A grand son. I thought this day would never come." Constance sighed feeling her grand son kicking in Jane's belly establish contact with her for the first time.

Standing in the middle of their living room Constance was overwhelmed, her daughter was getting married and she was about to be a grand mother and she couldn't care less that Maura wasn't the one carrying the baby or that she was engaged to a woman. All she cared about was the smile on her daughter's face, a smile she thought she would never see. Her daughter was finally fulfilled in her personal life after spending years desperately looking for someone to love her and to give her a family and knowing that Jane and her baby were going to provide her with that made Constance love them deeply.

Later that night after spending the entire evening talking about the wedding and the baby with Constance Jane and Maura went to bed happy and relieved that Mrs Isles had given them their consent.

Around midnight though Jane woke up with a sudden urge.

"Maura, are you sleeping?"Jane whispered laying on her side shaking her gently.

"Did your water broke?"Maura groaned looking up at her alarm knowing exactly why Jane was waking her up.

"No."Jane frowned.

"Then yes I'm sleeping." Maura replied pulling her covers up.

"But I'm starving, would you mind getting me something like a club sandwich?"

"Jane, it's over midnight!"Flipping on her back Maura knew that Jane wouldn't give up until she had exactly what she wanted.

"Oh I'm sorry for being such a burden. I'm sorry it I'm 8 and half month pregnant with YOUR child and that I have cravings." Jane hollered rolling on her side turning her back on her.

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry. I will get you that sandwich but without mayonnaise."Maura replied snaking her arm around Jane's belly kissing the back of her neck.

"Really?"

"Yes. I know you can't control your craving, wait here it shouldn't take long."Maura replied kissing her tenderly.

"What have I done to deserve a fiancee as perfect as you?"

"You're you. Perfection attracts perfection."Maura smiled sitting on the edge of the bed.

30 minutes later Jane had eaten and went back to sleep happy. Walking towards the kitchen with the empty plate Maura couldn't help but wishing this was : between the cravings and mood swings Jane had became hard to live with.

"Mother, it's almost 1 am, is everything okay?"Maura asked seeing her mother standing in the kitchen.

"Yes, I couldn't sleep so I decided to make myself some tea and you look like you could use a cup as well..."Constance replied reaching for another cup.

"Thank you." Sitting at the kitchen table palming her face with both her hands Maura could barely keep her eyes open.

"Is your fiancee keeping you awake?"Constance smiled handing the hot cup of tea to Maura.

"Yes. She woke up half an hour ago craving for a sandwich club. Thank God we had chicken, otherwise I would have had to go to the store, because of course when she wants something in particular she refuses everything else." Maura grunted rolling her eyes.

"Just hang in there darling, it's shouldn't be long." Her hand covering Maura's Constance could see how exhausted she was.

"But it's getting worse. She's in such pain every time he repositions himself that she can barely sleep, not to mention she can't get up or get dressed without me. She really took more weight than we expected."

"Is the baby taller than average?"

"Yes, he's about 2 inches longer than he should be. I mean Jane is tall and so is Angela, and I as a Doctor I know how painful this birth is going to be for her."

"Well she's lucky enough to have you. I know this situation isn't easy that supporting her both emotionally and physically is hard but once you held your son in your hand you will forget everything, trust me."

"I know. I can't wait to meet him. You know it might not be very scientific but I really feel that he recognizes my voice. He follows my voice and kicks when I'm talking to him and Jane always says that he kicks intensively when I'm coming home at night."

"Of course he recognizes your voice, you talk to him everyday, it calms him down. I'm sure he's going to recognizes both your voice once you held him in your arms."

"I hope I can't wait for this to be over. Between taking care of Jane and now the wedding I barely had a complete night of sleep in the past few weeks."

"Then let me help. I'm sure Angela has a lot of ideas, so just let us mothers take care of your wedding while you make sure your beautiful bride isn't overwhelming herself."

"Alright, thank you. You know I love her mother, I really do. I feel that we waited so many years paralyzed by hour fears. It took Jane getting pregnant for us to finally face our feelings."

"About that, how did she get pregnant?I mean is the father in the picture?"Constance asked trying not to intrude.

"No he's not. He's an FBI Agent Jane slept in a moment of weakness. It was the night after...afte Hoyt took us hostages. About a month later thinking that she was sick I took her blood and I found out while she was so pale and hyper sensitive during autopsies."

"And that's when you offered her to move in with you?"

"Yes, she didn't told me who the father was but she said she didn't want him in her life. I couldn't possibly let her and her baby by themselves. Having her living with her I gradually find myself attached to the baby but I knew he had a father so I distanced myself."

"I understand, you didn't want to get hurt in case she chose to go back to him?"

"Exactly. Obviously she confronted me about it and pushed me to reveal my feelings. We have been together even since. The father somehow found out and threatened us so I took care of him and he waived his parental rights."

"You took care of him?I thought you didn't like to use our connection for personal benefits?" Constance smiled seeing Maura's internal instinct written all over her face as she tells her the story on how she got rid of her son's father.

"I know but I couldn't possibly allow him to threatened or intent to take my family away. I would have done anything to protect them. Does that make me a terrible person?"

"No it makes you a mother and a wife. You did what you had to do to protect your family. I'm proud of you."

That night Maura and Constance stayed up until about 2 am. For the first time Maura was finally able to talk to someone about her fears and her hopes. Obviously she knew she could tell Jane or Angela anything but talking to her mother was different. For most of her life Maura had felt abandoned, neglected by her mother but for the past year the two woman had decided to take a fresh start, to rebuild their relationship. Now they were able to have a almost normal relationship and Maura couldn't help but being thrilled knowing that her mother had every intention of spending time with her grand child and to educate him on everything she had once educated her on.

**Alright guys, that was a long chapter. I realized that Constance wasn't even aware of Jane's pregnancy or that they were dating. I think becoming a grand mother might actually get them closer. Constance is gonna try to give her grand son what she never gave to Maura : love and attention.**

**As you know guys I'm having an author's block on my two other stories but I still feel inspired on this one which is a good thing right?Please don't hesitate to give me reviews with ideas and comments! Over the past few chapters I felt you less interested in this story...**


	19. Open heart conversation

**Chapter 19 :**

**Open heart conversation.**

The next morning Jane woke up around 9 am. Slowly opening her eyes slightly turning her head she immediately noticed that maura wasn't next to her. Thinking her fiancee must have been in the kitchen preparing breakfast Jane painfully sat up in bed, put her sleepers on and walked towards the kitchen holding both her back and her belly. Walking into the kitchen Jane was surprised to find Constance cooking breakfast instead of Maura.

"How are we this morning Detective?"Constance enthusiastically asked handing Jane a plate with two pancakes on it.

"Good, did you sleep well?" Jane replied painfully sitting at the kitchen table amazed by how Constance pancakes smelled exactly like Maura's.

"Yes I did. Unlike my husband your mother don't snore."

"Speaking of which, where are my mother and Maura?We always have breakfast together." For the past 8 months Jane and Maura made it an habit to have breakfast together every single day. It had became their little tradition, a special moment they got to spend together not knowing if they would be able to have lunch or dinner together because of their busy jobs.

"Your mother and Maura went to the printer for the invitations. Maura wants guests to receive them before the end of the week, but don't worry she left me very instruction and even took the time to prepare those pancakes for you insisting you weren't allowed to drink coffee."

"Sorry about that, she can be a drilled Sergent when it comes to my diet. What I don't understand is why she had to go to the printer so early."Jane frowned taking a bite at a pancake.

"You know how Maura is, very organized, she just wanted to get this done and other wedding relating things this morning to be able to spend the rest of the day with you. But it seems that you don't like being away from her, no matter for how long she's away..."Seeing how upset and unhappy Jane was that Maura was away from her reminded Constance of her and her husband who could barely spend two hours appart when they started dating.

"No I don't. Even before we starting dating we never spent a day apart and spent most of our free time together. I would rather not imagine what I would have done it she had married someone else." Saying those words Jane's heart broke a little. Picturing Maura sleeping with other people was already a torture but picturing her marrying and having children with one of those jerks was excruciating.

"That would have never happened Jane. I know my daughter she would have never married someone else feeling the way she has been feeling about you for years. She would have waited as long as necessary and would have come forward with her feelings once she felt the time was right."

"How do you know how she felt about me?"Narrowing her eye brows Jane started to wonder if anyone knew they were in love with each other before they even realized it themselves if they had been placing bets on the date they would finally have the guts to come forwards with their feelings.

"Well my daughter and I might have not always been close but from the way she always talked about you with so much respect and admiration not to mention the way she looks at you, anyone with basic observation skills would have figured out that she has been in love with you for years. And by the conversation you and I shared during my installation opening I also knew for a fact that you felt the same way. I knew that one of you would have to come forward at some point because living with those kind feelings and being unable to act of them and having to keep them inside for too long would have killed both of you."

"I must admit that keeping our feelings inside for so long was hard, especially because we spent so much time together. Unfortunately I don't know how long that would have taken us to acknowledge our feelings if I hadn't got pregnant..."

"Well let's not think about that right now. It doesn't matter how long it took you to face your feelings. Neither of you weren't ready and who knows, it might have not worked and I might not have a grand son if you had rushed things..." Her hand on Jane's belly trying to reassure her Constance was extremely proud to be a grand mother and couldn't help to think that things were exactly where they were supposed to be.

"You're probably right. So have you talked to you husband to tell him the good news?"As much as she loved her mother was trying to get her approval and blessing on everything she ever accomplished in life Maura was also daddy's little girl and she had a feeling that convincing him that she was sincerely in love with her and that she wasn't going to hurt her wouldn't be as easily as convincing Constance.

"No but Maura called him this morning, he should be here in time for the wedding, don't worry."

"Do you think that being pregnant and all he's gonna spare me the all "If you hurt my daughter I'll hurt you ten times as much" speech?" As badass as she was when she had her gun and badge on her belt Jane couldn't help but being a bit afraid of metting Maura's dad. She knew that he wouldn't be easy to seduce and that she would have to watch her language if things were to become a bit tense, that Maura would never forgive her for pushing her dad away.

"I'm afraid he can't do that. He has always been very protective over Maura, but don't worry about it he knows how much she loves you and how happy you make her. Actually I believe he's really excited to have a grand child, especially a boy."

"Well I'm glad to hear that. You know how important having your blessing is to Maura, no matter how successful she is in her job or no matter how many loving friends adore her, your opinion means everything to her."

"Well even if my husband and I never expressed it the way we should have we are extremely proud of the woman she grew up to be. Not only because she's a world known pathologist but also because she is the most carrying, loving and responsible woman we know."

"I agree, she's quite exceptional, we're lucky to have her, both of us and I promise I'm going to take good care of her."

"And of my grand son I hope." Her hand on Jane's belly feeling her grand son kicking Constance was not only proud but also happy and was truly hoping to have the opportunity to be everything she never was for Maura : carrying, present. She saw her grand son as her chance to make up for the mistake she made with her daughter.

"Yes. I'm doing everything by the book, not that I have the choice though, Maura can be very persuasive when it comes to coerce me into doing things especially when it comes to her son."Seeing the love Constance had for her grand son Jane had a feeling that this baby might be what Maura and her needed to continue to work on their relationship, that being a grand mother would probably make her come more often to Boston.

"She has always been the maternal type you know. Speaking of which she told me that you asked her to pick a name but that she has been struggling..."

"Yes, not that I don't have any ideas but I figured that it was a nice present to give her. You know they're already very close to each other. He recognizes her voice, get all excited when she comes home after work. I know she feels she's not doing as much as I am because she's not carrying it so I figured she would enjoy naming him. Don't worry about his last name though. We talked about it and it's going to be Rizzoli-Isles."

"Really?"Constance said her heart filing up with pride.

"Yes. I don't know if Maura wants us to take each other's name but I'm pretty sure she does, but even if we don't we agree that our son should have both our names that way he could carry both of them and pass them on to his kids. Gee kids, can't imagine myself being a grand mother."

"Well you have time to worry about that, but thank you. I'm sure my husband will appreciate the gesture."

"You're welcome. Speaking of which, would you mind driving me to town?I have something I need to get but I'm obviously incapable of driving."Jane asked knowing that asking her own mother was exposing herself to endless tears of happiness and whining on how much her baby has grown.

"I would be happy to."Constance Isles replied a small idea of what Jane needed to get.

Two hours later after spending half the morning shopping and bonding Constance and Jane were finally back home just in time for lunch.

Stepping into their house Jane immediately noticed the surprise and the tears on Maura's face.

"Where were you?"Maura screamed rushing into her fiancee's arms.

"Your mother and I went shopping, why, what's wrong?"Feeling Maura's tears streaming down her chest Jane knew something was wrong, that Maura wouldn't get all worked up for no good reason.

"Because I called both of you and no one picked up!"Maura groaned hitting Jane's chest with her small fists enraged that none of them bothered to tell her where they were.

"I left you a message telling you we were going in town and that we would be back in time for lunch didn't you get it?"

"Yes I did, but I had no idea where you were. I called every hospital and clinic in the city, thinking you might have been in premature labor." Maura replied whipping the tears of her face trying to catch her breath

"Wow,wow calm down. I'm sorry you got worried. If anything had happened your mother would have called you and told you so alright."Stroking Maura's hair with her finger Jane had a feeling that Maura was going to be the same kind of mother as Angela was : the kind to call every hospital if her child misses his curfew.

"Don't ever do that to me again Jane!Or I might be so mad at you that It might induce premature labor!"

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but it was for a good cause. Your mother and I went shopping and I got you this."Jane smiled pulling a small blue box of her pocket.

"Oh Jane. You didn't have to do that."Her eyes fixated on the small box Maura knew exactly what is was and felt terrible for causing such a scene.

Standing in the middle of their living room surrounded by Maura's mom and Angela Jane opened the box revealing the most gorgeous engagement ring. Obviously she was planning on giving it to her later once they had more privacy but considering how worked up Maura had gotten she figured it was the best way to calm her down.

"Yes I did, I should have got you one the next day after you proposed, forgive me for not going don't my knee but I might not be able to pick myself up afterwards. Maura, I love you, I always have, ever since I met you at that crime scene over 5 years ago. I know that I should have come forwards with my feelings earlier but I was scared, scared of you not feeling the same, scared of what people might say but most of all I was afraid of not being good enough to be with you. You know I never pictured myself married or with a child, I never thought I had it in me but you taught me to accept and love myself more and you gave me the confidence I needed to face my feelings and my desires. I know that we're doing this completely out of order but somehow I feel that things are right where they're supposed to be. So in exactly 14 days you and I and our son are going seal our lives for ever and trust me when I say that I can't wait for you to finally be my wife." Jane whispered pushing the ring on Maura's finger.

"I can't wait either Jane." Maura replied rushing her lips against hers feeling their son kicking as she pressed her belly against Jane.

Standing there a few feet away Maura and Constance couldn't help but feeling the tears streaming down their faces. As mothers all they ever wished for their daughters was that they found someone to love, someone who would respect them, support them unconditionally and against all odds. Looking at their daughter holding each other both women knew that their job as mother was done, that their daughters were in good hands and as parents that was the most incredible and fulfilling sensation they could have experienced.

**So guys, what do you think?This chapter might appear as a filling up one but I think it was important for Jane to have a chat with Constance to reassure her. I also thought it was extremely important that Jane got Maura the engagement ring the always dreamed about. And the scene were Maura freaks out and calls every hospital in the city cause she didn't know where Jane was seems realistic!**  
><strong>Next chapter should be fun, trust me! <strong>


	20. Bad timing

**Chapter 20 :**

**Terrible timing : **

12 days later it was finally two days before Maura and Jane's wedding. After spending 3 weeks turning the entire city upside down Maura, Angela and Constance had managed to put together the most gorgeous money could buy. Obviously Maura had insisted that Jane stayed in bed and relax, that planning a wedding was way too stressful for her and the baby and that she didn't want her to go in premature labor. Obviously Jane was more than happy to take a step back and let Maura and their mothers plan that wedding trusting their impecable taste for that kind of event.

So that friday night after making sure Angela and her mother were out Maura entered their bedroom eager to spend some quiet time with her fiancée after 3 weeks planing the wedding and therefore neglecting her .

"How are we doing tonight?" Climbing in bed next to Jane who was determined to enjoy this night they had for themselves, the first in almost 3 weeks.

"We're good. He's been awfully quiet all day." Jane replied closing the book the had in her hand relieved to have been able to enjoy a quiet day without feeling their son hammering her belly or repositioning himself.

"Well he knows that we're getting married in two days and just want you to be able to relax and have some rest so we can both fully enjoy our big day. "

"Well no matter what keeps him quiet I'm grateful for it and that our mothers are gone for the night. Finally we can enjoy a quiet night together, alone."

"I know we haven't spent much time together since we got engaged and I'm sorry but like you said we got the house to ourselves so nothing is keeping us from making up for it." Maura seductively said as she started to kiss Jane's neck while reaching out for her pants.

"Oh Maura that's sweet but how about we order some thai food and watch a movie. I'm not really in the mood tonight." Jane grinned trying to escape Maura's embrace. The truth was they hadn't had sex since they got engaged, not that Jane didn't want to but she was in so punch pain that she just couldn't and was grateful that Maura didn't have the time to ask for it until now because she didn't want to talk about it.

"Oh come on Jane, it has been over 3 weeks since the last time we made love. I miss your hands on me and feeling you come around my fingers or in my mouth…"Maura muttered continuing to kiss Jane's neck.

"Geez Maura, do you ever think about anything else than sex?"Pushing Maura away so violently that she almost fell out of bed Jane was offended to feel that all Maura was interested in was sex after spending 3 weeks without even having time to enjoy a simple conversation.

"I'm sorry, I….I didn't mean to offend you Jane. I was just trying to point out the fact that we haven't had a single night for ourselves since we got engaged and that I was just eager to make up for it." Maura mumbled realizing how direct and maybe a bit insensitive she had just acted towards Jane.

"Don't try to bullshit me Maura, you didn't miss talking or cuddling, you missed having sex so how about you grab what's inside that box on the top of your shoe cupboard and satisfy your needs?" Jane hollered rolling on her side.

"Oh Jane…I haven't used what's in that box since you moved in with me. I'm sorry for being so insensitive but you're wrong I did miss holding you and talking about our baby for hours the way we used to before we got engaged." Maura replied snaking her arm around Jane, kissing the back of her neck unwilling to give up on her even if she knew that insisting might turn out painful.

"Maybe we shouldn't get married Maura. I mean not now. I know I wanted our son to legally be yours but I can barely move and I'm in pain. I mean every single part of my body hurts like hell, my feet, my back, my belly. I don't even know if I will be able to dance with you during the reception so making love to you …."Flipping on her back Jane was hurt, both physically and emotionally. She hated being so powerless , unable to control her own body and that she was certainly not going to give Maura the wedding of her dreams.

"Then we won't. What matters to me is that we finally get married surrounded by our friends and family. We have the rest of our lives to make love."

"We both know it matters. I mean you're my best friend Maura and even if we never talked about it before getting engaged but I know you. I know that you always pictured getting married in the most gorgeous place wearing the most expensive designer dress possible and have the reception at the Plaza and going on honey moon in Hawaii or some place exotic and that you probably planned on wearing sexy lingerie and have sex all night long on your wedding night. I won't be able to give you any of those things Maura at least not now."

"Oh Jane, don't you get it? Those are material things. What I never pictured though was getting married to my best friend, to the one person in the entire world I'm not afraid to be myself with, someone who knows me inside and out and who still accepts me exactly for who I am. "Her arms around Jane Maura wished that Jane could see thins through her eyes. It didn't matter for her that the circumstances weren't ideal, all that mattered for Maura was to marry Jane and to spend the rest of their life taking care of their family, all those material things didn't matter for her anymore.

"I know I just wish I could give you more."

"You're giving me everything I always dreamed about Jane. I love you and the day after tomorrow you and I are getting married in our backyards because to me it's the most beautiful place on earth because our house symbolizes the place where our family was born. As for the wedding dress, you haven't seen it or what it costs because you would probably start to hyperventilate, trust me I'm getting my princess dress." Despite the little time she had Maura still manage to organize the princess wedding she has been dreaming off since she was a little girl and had managed to find the perfect stylist to make her the most gorgeous dress money could by.

"How about our wedding night and honey moon?"

"Well we can go to Hawaii or any other exotic places for let say…our 6 months anniversary. As for our wedding night do not worry about it, I know how painful it is for you to even walk, but I did book the honey moon suite at the Plaza and I intend to enjoy fully . If it means cuddling all night eating strawberries with wiped cream then it would probably still be one of the greatest night of my life okay?"

"Sometimes I hate when that you always have the answer to everything…" Jane sighed amazed by how reassuring and comforting Maura had been over the past 9 months. Thinking about it Jane has always been the strong one in their relationship, comforting, supporting Maura especially regarding her relationship with her parents or with Doyle. But for the past 9 months Maura became the care taker, reassuring her, making sure the baby was healthy, giving her confidence and as humiliated Jane felt at first to be so dependent she now fully accepted to be taken care of and had even started to enjoy it.

"But that's also why you love me right?"The truth was as much as she loved taking of Jane Maura couldn't wait for the baby to be born and for Jane to come back being her old confidence self because as flattered as she was that Jane trusted her with her insecurities it wasn't the real her.

"Yes, I think I have been more scared in the past 8 months than I have been in my entire life but you always find the right words to comfort and calm me down and also to coerce me into doing everything you want like wearing a dress for example."

"About that, how does it look?"

"It looks good, I'm not sure I will be able to breath, but it looks gorgeous, your mother really knows the best people in this town, the designer is truly talented and she certainly works fast."

"Yes my mother has great connections. How about I draw us a hot bath and light up some candles?"

"That would be great lucky the bathtub is so big."Jane smiled knowing that the simple fact of getting into the bathtub would require Maura's help.

Two days later was finally Jane and Maura's big day : the day they seal their lives for ever in the presence of their friends and close families. Maura's father had arrived early this morning and seemed eager to walk his daughter down the aisle. Luckily for her the fact that he arrived a few hours before the ceremony made it impossible for them to have the " don't hurt my daughter" talk yet.

Standing in front of her mirror struggling to find herself attractive Jane couldn't help but feeling strangely relaxed. Unlike most bride who usually panic on their big day Jane had no doubt that Maura was the one for her and that she was the one for her. She knew for a fact that they were meant to be together and that no matter how hard being married or raising a child was probably gonna be they would face every challenge together. Yes as hormonal as Jane has been for the past 9 months today on the most important day of her life she was relaxed and confident.

"May I come in?"A strong confident voice spoke a few feet behind Jane.

"_Crap_."Jane said to herself."Yes please come in Sir." Jane grinned knowing why her future father in law was visiting her a few minutes before the ceremony.

"Thank you. Well your mother was right you do make a beautiful bride." Mr Isles replied stepping into the bedroom closing the door behind him.

"Right…I look like a stuffed turkey on Thanksgiving, but thanks."Jane smiled inviting him to sit on the bed.

"Don't say that, there is nothing more gorgeous than a woman who's carrying a child, especially when it's my grand son she's carrying. May I?"He shyly asked approaching his hand towards Jane's belly.

"Yes sure, but he's been awfully quiet for the past few days and he only reacts to Maura's voice." Jane replied slightly uncomfortable to have someone else than Maura touch her like that.

"Yes she told me that he seems to be very responsive to her voice and her touch. I'm glad they're already bounding , you know how hard it can be for the parent who doesn't cary the child to feel connected to the child, especially when he's not born yet."

"I know but Maura has been talking to him since day one and I'm pretty sure that he's going to recognize her voice as soon as he decides to come out."

"I'm glad to hear that, the two of you are going to make great parents, and I hope you will allow us to take part in our grand son's life. As you know we weren't really there for Maura when she grew up and we would like things to be different with him."Just like Constance Maura's dad saw his grand son as a second chance, as opportunity to do things differently and to somehow fix their relationship with their daughter.

"Absolutely, you and your wife are welcome to visit and baby sit when ever you wish. Actually you might have to run over my mother's body, you know how italian moms can be…." Jane replied happy that having a child with Maura had seemed to have awaken something in her parent's heart.

"Yes, your mother is charming and seems very…involved."

"Yes. We're lucky to have her. I know I haven't been the easiest person to live with for the past 8 months and I know how supportive she has been with Maura."

"I'm glad to know that your mother was so involved and hopefully Constance and I will be as well from now on, right little man."Mr Isles replied gently rubbing Jane's belly.

"I'm glad your wife and you consider our son as your grand child already…"Jane said biting her lower lip.

"Why wouldn't we?" Rising his eyebrow Mr Isles couldn't see why they wouldn't consider this child as a member of their family.

"Well you know, considering that Maura isn't carrying him."

"You do know that Maura is adopted right?"

"Of course…"

"Then you must know that no matter who is carrying that baby what matters that Maura loves him as much as my wife and I love her. Blood doesn't mean much for us, that baby is an Isles and I intend to treat him as such."

"Thank you, it means a lot."Jane sighed relieved.

"You're welcome. How about I give you some privacy now?" Standing up Mr Isles knew that Jane needed privacy to focus on her vows and relax before the ceremony.

"Yes, would you please do me a favor?"Jane asked trying to stand up.

"Sure. Here let me help you." He replied taking Jane's arm helping her stand up.

"Thank you. Would you make sure my mother is busy until the last minute? I don't want her to get all whinny on me you know."

"I understand. Oh and by the way, I hope you know that if you ever hurt my daughter I will haunt you down and make you pay."Mr Isles said a corner smile on his face as he finally left Jane's bedroom.

"Yes Sir." Jane nodded swallowing hard.

An hour later Jane accompanied by her father was finally walking down the aisle. Feeling every one's eyes on her Jane was embarrassed, feeling everything but attracted but walking toward her bride all she could see was Maura standing a few feet from her wearing the most gorgeous wedding dress she ever seen. Standing at the alter with Frankie at her side and the Mayor who her mother had insisted should marry them Maura never felt so confident in her entire life. After years of denying their feelings Jane and her were finally going to make the biggest commitment possible in front of their friends and family. Ever since she was a little girl Maura had dreamed of the prince charming who would take her on his white horse and carry her to his castle but realistically she knew that she was more likely to marry someone coming from money in order to provide an heir to her family. Never in her life she had actually imagined meeting someone that could make her feel so complete, especially a woman who was so different from her. Yes Dr Maura Isles had spent years trying to get used to the idea that she would never meet that one person that was made for her and that she would probably have to settle down for less. Luckily for her a little over 5 years ago Maura had finally met that one in 6 billion person who she knew right from the start was meant for her and after 5 years of struggling with their feelings they were about to have a family together. Yes after spending her life being lonely and pessimistic about the person she was going to marry Maura Isles was finally having her fairy tale wedding.

"You look gorgeous."Maura smile offering her hand to Jane as she finally reached the alter.

"And you look hot!Damn!"Jane smiled swallowing hard hoping that she would be able to tear that dress appart later.

Standing at the alter holding hands, looking deep into each other's eyes the two women almost forget that they were surrounded by their friends and family not to mention the Mayor who had found time in his busy schedule to marry them.

"Well ladies if you're ready maybe we could start?"The Mayor of Boston interrupted amazed by how in love the two women apparently were.

"Yes Sir, sorry." Jane smiled unable to take her eyes of Maura.

"Thank you Detective. Well ladies and gentlemen we are gathered here today to celebrate the love of Maura and Jane. As you can imagine I'm often solicited to perform marriages. Unfortunately my schedule doesn't give me the opportunity to do it as much as I wished, but when Constance Isles who is one of my dearest friend asked me to marry her daughter and one of Boston's most dedicated police officer I knew I couldn't possibly say no. I don't know Maura and Jane very well but what I know is that they both dedicated their lives and talent to protect the people of our beautiful city, working relentlessly to make sure our streets are safe. They are both smart, dedicated, carrying women who managed to build a relationship and to make it work despite their busy schedules. I have no doubt that if the two of you managed to make it work until now without letting the job come between you that you will indeed be able to make in work for better or worse until death do you parts. Also I have no doubt that two women who work everyday as selflessly as you do to protect perfect strangers are going to make wonderful parents. Jane, you wanted to say something?"The mayor very eloquently spoke.

"Would you mind hold that thought for a minute?"Jane asked bending over holding her belly feeling a violent contraction running through her body.

"Jane, are you alright?"Maura mumbled taking a step towards Jane.

"Yeah, I think I just had another contraction…" Jane grinned swallowing hard trying to breath through the pain.

"Another?" Maura said unable to believe that jane would hide something like that from her.

"Yes I have been having those since I woke up this morning, I just thought it was the stress but this one was just more intense. Please continue."Jane replied trying to stand straight.

"Is there something wrong?" Constance asked taking a set forward.

"Jane is having contractions."Maura replied holding Jane's belly.

At that precise moment the entire assembly went silent. Obviously they were all excited to finally meet the little guy but knew how important is was for Jane to be legally married before giving birth. Actually every fears that the stress of planning a wedding might induce labor and that's why they all tried to spare Jane of any unnecessary stress, but unfortunately as careful as they all were the baby had decided otherwise.

"I will get the car." Constance replied clapping her hand over excited to finally meet her grand son.

"No!I am not in labor. I have had contractions for the past two days, nothing to worry about."Jane objected tapping her foot on the ground.

"Jane, look at me, remember what you promised 8 months ago, when I offered you my help?"Her hands on Jane's shoulder trying to reason her Maura knew that Jane needed to calm down if she wanted the birth to be as smooth as they wanted it to be.

"That we would do things your way."Jane replied rolling her eyes feeling another contraction coming.

"Yes, so mother please get the car, Angela please get Jane's bag it's on the chair next to our bed. Frankie call the hospital and have Dr Thomas meet us at the ER. Jane you come with me."Maura strongly said taking Jane's arms.

"But…I'm fine …they're not even that close and my water hasn't broke yet so can every body just relax and let us get married!"

"Jane, would you please calm down? I love you and I want to marry you too and I know how important it is for you that we're legally married before you give birth, but it doesn't matter to me. I will adopt him later. I don't need a piece of paper to feel like his mother alright?"Maura said kissing Jane's forehead. The truth was that Maura knew why it was so important for Jane to be legally married : she was scared to death of something bad happening during birth and wanted her to be able to make medical decision for her and their son. As much as she wanted to give Jane what she wanted she wasn't willing to risk their child's safety, especially since she knew Angela who until they're married was Jane's next of kin would let her make all the medical decision.

"Okay. God Maura it hurts."Jane screamed squeezing Maura's hand as hard as she could fighting not to collapse from the pain.

"Alright! Come on people my son is coming, let's move!" Maura yelled helping Jane to move towards their care.

Holding Jane's hand trying to make her breath the way they had learned in birth classes Maura knew that Jane needed her to be confident now more than ever. Unfortunately as prepared as Maura was she was scared to death. She had considered every possible medical complication but knew that Jane didn't need her to be the Doctor but the mother right now. All her life Maura had relayed on science and medecine to solve all her problems but what Jane needed her to do was to support her with her unconditional love instead of using her vaste knowledge. Slowly walking towards the car Maura knew today was the most important day of her life, that in a few hours a little human being would be here, expecting her to take care of him, to put everything aside to make him her priority. As scared as she was thinking about that little guy counting on her to take care of him and his mommy Maura suddenly felt confident, she knew in her guts and her heart that she wouldn't fail them, not now not ever.

**I know evil me!Well I'm pretty sure you all expected the baby to come during the wedding right? I wanted them to have a simple wedding in their backyard surrounded with only friends and parents. I did add the mayor because it would be something Constance would have wanted.**

**I stopped this chapter here cause it was already pretty long and I wanted to have your feedback on Jane's and Maura's dad conversation and about what happened at the beginning of the chapter...**

**As always don't hesitate to drop ne a line. Next chapter will obviously be the birth of the little Rizzoli-Isles don't know if there's gonna be drama or not...**


	21. Family

**Chapter 21 :**

**Family : **

About 20 minutes later Jane and Maura driven by Constance finally arrived to the hospital and were immediately welcome by Dr Thomas.

"So your little guy decided to grace us with his presence on your big day hum?"Dr Thomas joked helping two other physicians carrying Jane from the back of the car to the gurney.

"I swear to God if you don't pull him out soon I'm going to rip your eyes out and push them down your throat with my bare hands you hear me!" Jane yelled grabbing her scrubs pulling her closer to her.

"Alright Jane, I'm going to help you the best I can. Maura, how close are the contractions?"Dr Thomas replied unimpressed by Jane's threat.

"Every 3 minutes for the past 15 minutes, her water broke in the car and she's dilated about 9 centimeters."Maura replied amniotic fluid all over her wedding dress.

"Alright people let's move her directly to OB!"Pushing the gurney towards the elevator Dr Thomas was determined to make this birth as smooth as possible especially considering that one of the parent was a Doctor. After allowing Maura to follow her for several weeks she knew her well enough to know that she was probably more nervous than Jane and was probably already considering every case scenario possible in her head.

Following the gurney Maura was split between being excited about finally meeting her son and being scared to death. Even if she was a Doctor and had followed Dr Thomas for the past few weeks to improve her knowledge she was still anxious. She had enough knowledge to be able to picture every possible case scenario but didn't know how she would react if anything bad were to happen.

"Maura...It hurts..." Jane muttered flipping on her side her legs lifted up against her belly as a violent contraction stroke her entire body making it excruciating for her to even breath.

"I'm here baby. They're going to give you something for the pain soon.I love you."Holding Jane's hand kissing her forehead Maura could almost feel the contraction through Jane's hand.

Arriving on the 2 second floor Jane was immediately given pain killer and her and her baby were immediately placed on monitoring and Maura was immediately given scrubs and gloves.

Laying in bed Jane was in excruciating pain, the contractions went from being manageable and every 10 minutes an hour ago to every 3 minutes making it almost impossible for her to breath.

"Alright Jane it looks like you're fully dilated and I can already see his head. I'm sorry but it's too late for the epidural, we're going to have to do this the old fashion way alright?"Sitting at the end of the bed cracking her fingers and her neck Dt Thomas knew that without an epidural things would have t happen fast if she didn't want Jane to pass out from the pain.

"How is that possible? I was fine an hour ago!" Arching her back as another contraction stroke her body Jane was split between being relieved that she wouldn't have to go through hours and hours of labour and being pissed at her son for deciding to show up so fast without giving her time to prepare.

"Well he's half Rizzoli, patience has never been one of your strongest quality." Maura smiled sitting on the edge of the face whipping the sweat of her fiancee's face.

As unexpected as this was Maura was relieved that Jane wouldn't have to go through hours of painful labour. She knew that the quicker the baby arrived the easier recovery would be for both of them and that as strong as she was both mentally and physically Jane would probably not be able to handle the pain much longer.

"He's half Isles too I thought you guys never showed up unannounced ?"Jane replied trying to breath as she was taught to during birth class.

"Maybe he's a bit mad at us for getting married without him being present."Maura replied smiling as the thought that this baby was "half-Isles". Even if she was adopted and clearly had taken more after her adoptive mother than her biological father Maura spent the past 8 months wondering how much of Dean this baby would inherit. She was scared that because he was a boy he would ressemble him physically, or might inherit his voice or his way of walking. Even if she never confessed it to Jane but Maura had spent 8 months praying that their son would inherit the Rizzoli's physical trades knowing how painful it would be for Jane to look at her child every day if he looked too much like his father. She knew that it would destroy Jane to have to watch her child growing up being the replica of the man who had abused her vulnerability and had treated her like a piece of meat and who had threatened her afterwards.

Sitting at the end of the bed waiting for the next contraction so she could ask Jane to push Dr Thomas was amazed by their chemistry and the deep bond they appeared to be sharing. When most women would yell at their panicked and overwhelmed partner blaming them for the situation and pain they were in Jane and Maura were relatively quiet and were actually joking.

"Alright Jane, when the next contraction comes I want you to push as hard as you can alright?"Dr Thomas instructed placing her hands between Jane's legs ready to support the baby's head.

"I don't think I can do this it hurts too much."Feeling the next contraction coming, overwhelmed by the pain Jane found herself incapable of pushing or maintaining regular breathing.

"Jane look at me, you can do this, you're the strongest woman I know, you're my hero and soon you're going to be our son's hero. So do as Dr Thomas says, nothing is going to happen to you, I promise."Cupping Jane's face trying to calm her down so she could refocus on her breathing rather than on the pain Maura suddenly felt that everything they had talked about, everything they had pictured was finally coming true. She had spent the past 8 months promising Jane that everything would be alright, that she would be there to hold her hand every step of the way and a few minutes from meeting her son Maura finally understood the meaning of the words wife and mother.

"Yes...HOLLY FUCKKKKK!" Jane let out pushing as hard as she could as another violent contraction stroke.

Feeling her baby literally tearing her private parts appart with his head and his shoulders first Jane suddenly regretting complaining about the pain she felt after the shooting. She had been shot at, pinned on the floor by Hoyt, stabbed once had broken her left clavicle and her nose twice but nothing could compare to giving birth without an epidural.

"Alright Jane, the shoulders are out now, you're doing great. When the next contraction comes I want you to push harder alright."Dr Thomas instructed still sitting between Jane legs holding the baby's head and shoulders.

"Alright baby, you're almost there. Come on!"Encouraging Jane Maura could barely feel her left hand because she was squeezing it so hard every time she pushed, but it didn't matter, if breaking her hands helped Jane relieving some the pain she was more than happy to accept it.

Sitting up in bed pushing as hard as she could for the next 30 minutes Jane could barely keep her eyes open. Her head was spinning and her vision was blurry and her heart was almost bursting out of her chest at every single contraction. She knew that she wouldn't be able to handle the pain much longer so she pushed one last time hoping it would be enough. As she was finally giving up feeling her eyes slowly closing Jane was suddenly brought back to reality by the most beautiful voice she ever heard.

"Congratulations ladies, he's gorgeous." Dr Thomas said as she stood up holding their son in her arms.

"Oh Jane...he's..."Feeling the tears streaming down her face Maura was overwhelmed by feelings of happiness and extreme pride. After being raised to hide her emotions and stay stoic in any situation she couldn't hide her emotions anymore, after years of feeling lonely and fearing that she was going to die alone Maura had a family, a son and a wife who adored her and who she loved more than anything in the world and for whom she would give her life.

"Is he alright?"Slightly opening her eyes Jane was able to see her son, to hear him cry literally opening his little arms towards them.

"Yes he is, Maura, would you like to clamp and cut the umbilical cord?"Dr Thomas offered handing Maura the cord clamp knowing how important this procedure was to her.

"Yes Please." Holding the cord clamp in her hand, clamping the cord first and cutting it afterwards Maura's hand were surprisingly steady, she wasn't shaking or scared, she was amazed by how energetic her son eyes and how deep his eyes already were.

"Alright Jane, the nurse is going to take your son away for a couple of minutes to clean him up alright?In the mean time I'm going to help you expulse the placenta . The good new is that he's fully detached from the uterine wall so I won't have to inject you with oxytocin so just relax alright?"Dr Thomas said walking away with the baby in her arms.

"Did you see how adorable he already is?Jane?"Maura asked taking her gloves off.

"Yeah he's a Rizzoli, he's probably gonna break hearts later on."Jane muttered closing her eyes finally allowing herself body to shut down.

"Poor thing."Maura pouted kissing Jane's head as she witnessed her fiancee quickly falling asleep after spending over an hour pushing giving birth to their son without an epidural.

"She is courageous, trust me I have been there and giving birth without the epidural is excruciating. Now that the placenta is out, how about I go check on your son while my resident takes care of Jane?"Dr Thomas offered taking her gloves off.

"Okay."Nodding Maura was unable to keep her eyes off Jane, her courage and devotion were no secret to her but what she had just witnessed, that gift she had given her was probably the most courageous thing she had ever done.

A few minutes later Dr Thomas came back holding the baby's in her arm wrapped in a blanket.

"Here he is. He was completely checked out and is perfectly healthy, congratulation Maura. Have you finally found a name?"Dr Thomas asked gently dropping the baby in his mother's warm arms.

"Louis Rizzoli-Isles."Maura smiled gently kissing his forehead jiggling him from side to side.

"That's a wonderful name."

"Please don't tell me you want to name our son after a french king?"Jane mumbled slowly opening her eyes.

"Yes I do. Louis the 14th was and still is the longest reigning monarch in the history of european monarchy and was also known as the "Sun King" and looking at our little angel here I think that's a name that would fit him very well. Besides you told me I would be able to choose the name, so don't even start arguing with me here." Maura replied sitting on the edge of Jane's bed.

"Alright, alright Louis it is. He's an Isles after all so he's almost royalty anyway . Do you mind if I hold him for a minute before my mother barges in?"Sitting up in bed after only a few minutes of rest Jane was both emotionally exhausted but was determined to hold her son before taking any rest even if it was only for a couple of minutes.

"Sure. Here you go, hold his head."Maura replied delicately handing the precious child to Jane.

"Oh he's...Oh Maura, how did we managed this?"Literrally feeling her arms melting as she was holding her son in her arms Jane's suddenly forgot about all the pain she has been through over the past few hours and the doubts that 8 months ago almost pushed her towards abortion.

"I didn't do anything Jane...You did all the heavy lifting, thank you." Maura sobbed rubbing Louis little face with her thumb.

"No, thank you. If you hadn't been there to convince me that I would make a good mother I would have aborted, thank you so much for everything you did for us Maura. I love you."Jane replied leaning over pressing her lips against Maura's.

"I love you too. We're a family now and I promise I'm going to take care of both of you until death to us part."Maura replied her voice slightly shaking.

Holding each other Jane, Maura and the little Louis almost forgot the presence of the Doctor who was stitching Jane up. Finally together the little family couldn't hear or see anything around them, all they knew was that they were going to love and take care of each other for the rest of their lives knowing that no evil biological father, no serial killer or mobster could take them appart as long as they had each other. Holding their son both Maura and Jane forgot about the fears that had been haunting them for the past 8 months, the baby was healthy, Jane had given birth without any complication and Dean had waived his parental rights so Maura could adopt Louis. Yes trying to recover both physically and emotionally the two mothers had a feeling that this moment was not the end of the journey for them but rather the beginning of the longest, toughest and most fulfilling journey someone could take : parenthood and they couldn't wait to take the little Louis home to finally enjoy him and start building the rest of their lives together as a family.

**Alright guys what do you think?I know this chapter could have been better but after writing two birth for other stories I wasn't inspired to write more and I didn't want to hurt either Jane or the baby cause that would have not been originial. I think the real challenge is going to be the next few months, how they're going to deal with raising a baby, how it's probably going to hurt their relationship, how 's jane is going to respond the post natal pain...Will Maura stay home for ever?Will Jane go back to work as soon as possible?Will Dean show up?Those are questions I have not dealt with in "I almost lost you."**

**Should be fun and ****interesting...**

**PS: What do you think about the name?**


	22. Louis Rizzoli Isles

**Alright guys, as mentioned in my other story I decided to leave FF, don't worry though I will finish my 3 stories before doing so. If you want to know the reasons well just read the last chapter of "broken trust" I left a pretty explicit AN!**

**So about this story...I think I still have quite a bit to tell, don't know if Dean will be back yet...I'll see!**

**Chapter 22 :**

**Louis Rizzoli- Isles**

After an hour of cuddling and marveling at their beautiful boy the two women were exhausted. Jane, despite the pain medication was still in pain and could barely keep her eyes opened. As for Maura, as excited as she was and unwilling to admit it, this birth had drained her of all her energy.

" I'm sorry about your car…"Jane pouted remembering that her water broke on the back seat of Maura's luxury car.

"Don't worry about it, I was planning on selling it to buy one more practical."Over the past 8 months Maura had carefully planned the arrival of their son, preparing the nursery, buying clothes, child proving the house and had already started looking for a familial car.

"I swear to God if you make me buy a mini van…"Jane frowned unwilling to admit how relieved she had to share her life as someone as organized as Maura.

"What do you have against mini vans?They're extremely practical, robust not to mention that we're going to need the space you know for the stroller and our little guy's things for every time we take him out."

"God, I feel that going somewhere with him is gonna turn into a mission to the north pole."

"Probably, but don't worry too much about it. Once I have a few minutes I will start comparing familiar cars and choose the most practical but most importantly the safest one." As much as she enjoyed her single woman life style, being able to drive luxury cars, travelling around the world, not having to make her decisions based on how it would affect others Maura knew that being married and having a child would for her to dramatically change her life style and somehow wasn't bothered about it at all.

"I trust you, God I'm exhausted…And it's been hours, would you introduce our little guy to our families?I'm sure they must worry sick." Jane said unwilling to see the entire clan barging into her room.

"Yes, Well Dr Thomas already told them the good news so I'm sure they must be impatient. Alright little Louis are you ready to finally meet your family ?"Maura said gently taking the little angel in her arms.

"Oh and while you're out can you please your lawyer so he start the adoption process?"

"Jane…"

"I know….you're his mother and you don't need a piece of paper to tell you that but it's important for me. Considering we didn't manage to get married it's the only way we have to make sure that you're legally recognized as his mother. Please do it for me." As much as she loved her son Jane couldn't help but being mad at him for decided to make his first appearance on their wedding day and was profoundly sorry that Maura had to go through the hassel of adopting him to be legally recognized as his parent on a equal basis with her.

"Alright I will call him. Now I want you to close your eyes and sleep as long as you want. I have the situation under control." As much as she loved that baby as if he was her own flesh and blood Maura knew that Jane was right and that it was the right thing to do, that not being her legal parent could complicate things later if she ever found herself in a position where she would have to make legal or medical decisions for him.

"Alright, I'll just take a nap."Jane yawned flipping on her left side, heart broken to have to let her son go.

"I'm sure your mother already brought you some fresh clothes so I'll help you change when I come back. I love you."Maura said kissing Jane's forehead still holding their baby tight.

"I love you too."

Walking towards the waiting room holding her son Maura felt an immense pride invading her, that was far more intense than what she felt when she graduated at the top of her class in med school, or when she was accepted in one of the most selective and thoughest residency program in the country or when she became the youngest chief medical examiner in the state of Massachusetts. Becoming a parent was without a doubt the most fullfiling experience of her life, something that, even if she knew was going to be extremely challenging was far more natural for her than being a Doctor.

"Everyone, I want you to meet my son, Louis Rizzoli- Isles."Maura proudly stated stepping into the waiting room feeling everyone's eyes on her.

"Oh darling he's beautiful."Constance sighed stroking his cheek with the back of her hand.

"Yes he is, the two of you really did a great job." Angela nodded her eyes irrestibly attracted to the little angel's tiny fingers.

"Jane did all the heavy work, you should have seen her, she was extremelly courageous, I don't know if I could have given birth without an epidural."Maura replied gently jiggling Louis from side to side.

"Dr Thomas told us it was too late for her to have the procedure, how is she doing?" Frankie finally spoke taking a step forward struggling to come closer to his nephew.

"She is exhausted. I'm counting on you not to overwelm her, she's going to need to rest and will need time to recover both physically and emotionally."

"Don't worry about it, I had 3 children remember?I know what's it's like and your mother and I are here to assist you anyway we can so you can focus on Jane."

"Thank you. Recovering from a birth can be psycologically challenging. Actually it's not uncommon for mothers especially after their first child to suffer from post partum depression."

"Well we're all here for you darling, your father and I discussed it and we're going to stay in Boston for a while, if that's okay with you." Constance shyly said hoping that Maura wouldn't feel to overwhelmed between her, her father and Angela. After being distant and almost neglecting parents The Isles were determined to be exemplary grand parents hoping it would also bring them closer to their daughter.

"Absolutely mom, Jane and I would be happy to have you around." At first Maura was almost afraid to tell her parents, especially her dad that she was going to raise Louis as her son. Obviously as an adopted child blood or DNA didn't matter to them but she was scared that the unconventional situation in which this baby had been brought into her life might trouble them. She was scared that her father might not accept her lesbian relationship for Jane and the fact that she didn't carry him. Luckily for her Maura's parents turned out to be opened minded and were now eager to see their grand son grow up.

"Ladies, would you mind if I held my grand son ?" Maura's dad suddenly spoke after spending several minutes aside observing the little angel.

"Yes, dad, please." Maura replied handing the baby to her father.

"Louis?After Louis the 14th of France I presume."Holding his grand son Mr Isles was suddenly sent back 35 years when he held his daughter for the first time except this time he was determined not to make the same mistakes.

"Yes, you know I have always been fascinated by the french monarchy and as I was telling Jane he was also called the Sun King which seems to suit him very well, don't you think?" Maura replied marveling at her father.

"Yes, I do. Oh, I should probably tell you that I contacted our lawyer already and he will come to the hospital for the birth certificate as soon as it's issued so he can petition for the adoption as soon as possible."

"Thank you dad, Jane actually asked me to call him as soon as possible, but there is no rush, I have things to take care off that far more important than a piece of paper."

"I disagree. I know how much you love him and that Jane considers you as his mother on equal basis but since our little guy decided to interrupt your wedding, should anything happen to Jane you would have no legal rights and I'm confident you don't want the donor to have grounds to interfere right?"

"His biological father waived his parental rights dad, he doesn't and will never have any right on my son." Maura hollered, as much as she understood and appreciated every body's concern regarding this matter she couldn't stand it anymore.

"We know sweetheart, all your father is trying to say is that we want to do make sure you're legally recognized, that's all. If god forbids everything happens to Jane I would be the next of kin and I would obviously wouldn't take him away from you or keep you from making decisions for him but it's always good to be clear on paper."Angela suddenly said trying to smooth things down, seeing the anger on Maura's face knowing how exhausted she was .

"I know, I'm sorry dad, you're right. I'm just exhausted."

"Well how about Frankie drives you home so you can change and sleep for a few hours while we take care of Louis and Jane?" Angela offered fearing that Maura might collapsed after spending the past 8 months supporting Jane both emotionally and physically.

"I appreciate the offer but I'm perfectly capable of taking care of my son and my wife, now dad please can you hand him to me?"Exhausted Maura was still refusing to leave her family. After being raised by nannies all her childhood she was determined to be there for them and besides she was too excited and overwhelmed to go home. She knew she would be incapable of sleeping and would go back to the hospital eventually and she didn't want Jane to wake up and not see her at her bedside.

"Oh Maura, that's not what I meant.."

"I know I just need to be here, how about all of you go home and visit Jane tomorrow?"

"Alright, take care of my daughter and my grand son."Angela replied gently kissing little Louis's forehead. As controlling as Angela was and as hard as it was for her to accept it Maura was the mother, she was the one to decide what was best for her family. Luckily she had always considered her as a daughter and knew that her daughter and her grand son would be cared for for the rest of their lives.

A few minutes later Maura was back in Jane's room and after delicately settling her son in his incubator slowly climb in bed next to Jane and closed her eyes.

5 minutes later Maura was deeply asleep dreaming about what was supposed to be her fairy tale wedding day but turned out to be the most incredible day of her life.

Lying in bed Maura subconsciously started to dream about the next 18 years and started to worry. Up until now things have been easy, all she needed to do was make sure that Jane eat properly, that she wasn't working to hard but she knew that now that the baby was born the real troubles would start. She knew that the pregnancy was the easy part, that raising a child was hard, that Jane and her would have to protect him, to love him and to teach him values and to try to give him all the tools he would need to face the world as an adult. Unfortunately as loving as she was Maura had no idea how to properly raise a child because she had been raised by nannies and never had a real family model to get inspiration from. Luckily for her she knew that Jane, unlike her was raised in a strong and loving family and that was actually the kind of family she wanted hers to ressemble. Yes as lost as Maura was she knew that she could always follow her parents in law's exemple and count on Angela to help her find her own way. She knew that being a parent was a team effort and that Jane and her could face anything as long as they were together and being a mother gave her the strength and motivation to face every challenge.

**Alright guys, yes filling up chapter, but I needed every one to meet little Louis. Drama is coming soon don't worry!**

**So what do you thinK?Do you think Jane and Mr Isles are right to insist Maura adopts little Louis ASAP or are they over reacting?**

**I had a feeling that you lost interest in this story especially since last chapter...**

**Do you want me to continue?God knows I still have a lot to write about...**


	23. Bond

**Chapter 23 :**

**Bond : **

A couple of days later after having 8 hours nights thanks to the extraordinary work of the nurses Maura and Jane were finally feeling reenergized and ready to face the next 18 years with much more serenity.

Obviously Jane was still in pain from having to give birth without the epidural but was slowly recovering. Maura on the other hand never felt to happy and overwhelmed in her entire life and despite her parents' best efforts refused to leave Jane and Louis' side for even a minute. Sleeping in Jane's bed with her, showering in her bathroom, eating with her she was determined to miss a single bootle or bath or diaper changing.

"Have you noticed that he sleep with his mouth open just like you?" Standing over the incubator marveling at the little angel sleeping with his fist strongly clenched and his mouth wide opened Maura couldn't help but feeling that this child was the most precious thing she ever encountered in her life.

"I do not sleep my mouth open and I certainly do not drool like that!" Jane objected. For the past few days she had witnessed Maura take care of their son, feeding him, changing him, putting him to bed singing to him and was more than ever convinced she had made the right decision.

"Don't get offended Jane, your mother sleeps her mouth open as well and you're right you do not drool in your sleep, only when you're looking at me." Maura smiled sitting on the edge of the bed.

"That I must confess to and seeing you taking care of him I find you even more sexy…"Jane replied holding Maura's hand.

"And I must confess that I watching you breast feed him is extremely pleasant to my eyes as well, seeing you bond like this is overwhelming." Maura replied, slight pain in a voice knowing she was never going to experience that bond and would have to settle with giving him his bottle.

"Well I hope you enjoy it because it's very, very painful especially since he seem to have an ogre's appetite."

"Well he's a Rizzoli isn't he?Your mother told me you and Tommy almost needed more milk than she could produce but thank God lactation doesn't seem to be an issue for you."

"Well I would much rather produce just enough milk to feed him so I wouldn't have to use that pump but I'm glad you get to feed him too."

"So am I and I know how painful it is to breast feed and pumping your milk because your nipples are sensitive but it should get better and in the mean time I'm happy to feed him if you're in too much pain."

"Thank you, God I don't know what I would have done without you. I mean even if I do get good nights of sleep I'm still exhausted and I don't know how I would have managed without your help."

"Well I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. We're in this together and I know how exhausted you are and that it's going to take time for you to fully recover but don't worry about it too much I'm happy to wake up at night to feed him. It gives us the opportunity to bound." The truth was that as grateful as Maura was to receive daily visits from their friends and families Maura felt that nights were the only moment when she could actually spend some quality time with Louis alone.

"Yeah, I noticed the two of you are already inseparable, he starts crying if you leave his side for even a second, be careful he might end up to be a mommy's boy like tommy."

"Don't worry I have no intention of hovering him but I just want to make up for the 8 months I wasn't able to take care of him."

"Oh Maura, you shouldn't try to make up for anything, not carrying him yourself doesn't diminishes the bound you have with him…"Hearing those words and the slight sadness in her fiancee's voice Jane could feel that Maura was trying to compensate the fact that she didn't carry their son and it broke her heart.

"I know, speaking of our little angel, he's asleep so how about you take a well deserved nap while I have lunch with my mother?"

"Alright enjoy your lunch, I love you."Jane said flipping on her side.

"I love you too."Maura replied kissing her forehead.

A few minutes later laying in bed trying to fall asleep Jane couldn't help but thinking about Maura's visceral need to bound with their son. Thinking about it Jane knew that she was far more maternal than she was and that if they had started dating under other circumstances she would have been the one carrying the baby. Despite the fact that little Louis was unable to fall asleep if she hadn't put him to bed herself and would start crying if she left the room Maura was doing everything possible to tighten their bon and it started to worry Jane. She always thought that as an adoptive child Maura knew that a love between her mother and her child had nothing to do with DNA or blood and had trouble understanding why she felt compelled to act like this. Luckily for Maura Jane had a small idea of what she could do to make her fiancee feel much better .

Half an hour later Maura was meeting her mother in a fancy restaurant not too far from the hospital.

"Maura darling, you look exhausted." Constance said standing up as he saw Maura walking towards their table.

"Yes I must say the past few days have been challenging and I'm grateful to have you and Angela , I don't know how I would have managed to take care of everything without you." Maura replied sitting in front of her mother.

"Well that's what grand mothers are for and considering our little angel decided to arrive a month early it was only natural that we helped you finishing rearranging your house. " Looking at her daughter Constance could see how exhausted she was but knew her well enough not to suggest that she goes home to take a nap in her own bed knowing she would refuse to leave her family's side.

"Yes,I must confessed that Jane and I got a bit overwhelmed by the wedding and we neglected the house, especially the nursery."

"You couldn't know that he would arrive 4 weeks early dear, speaking of your fiancee how is she?"Constance replied knowing how organized her daughter was and how determined she has been to organize everything by herself.

"She's fine, she's resting. She's still in pain but with rest and her medication she should be fine."

"How about you?How's motherhood?"

"It's….incredible. I mean I always knew that having a child was a great experience but I never suspected it to be so fulfilling. It's like everything I have accomplished in my life doesn't count, that raising him well and protecting him is the only thing that matters and my biggest accomplishment."Talking about her son Maura's eyes were filled up with stars. After years of wandering in life trying to find its true meaning Maura had finally found it.

"I can certainly understand that. As successful as you are in your marriage or your career nothing is more satisfying than seeing your child grow up."

"I agree, speaking of which were you worried that we wouldn't bond because you didn't carry me?"

"At first yes but the more I held you and fed you the hardest it seemed to be for you to be away from me. The older you got the closer to me you wanted to be. I remember that you would follow me around in the house and cry whenever I had to leave you with one of your nannies. "

"Yes, I remember not understanding why you would want to leave me when all I wanted was to be with you especially since I was a very quiet child."Saying those words Maura started to remember the numerous time when her mother left her heart broken under her nannies' care to go abroad on some business trip. As lost as Maura was and unsure on how to be a good mother she knew she would never neglect her son like her mother did and would never leave him alone with nannies for weeks at the time or send him to boarding school.

"Yes you were, you rarely cried, were rarely sick and were extremely affectionate , in one word you were and still are the perfect child and I'm sorry for neglecting you but it's all in the past I'm here for you and your son now."Hearing the anger in pain her her daughter's voice Constance heart broke as well. She knew how much she had hurt Maura when she was a child and was determined to make it up to her now and not to make the same mistake with her grand son.

"I know, I know…"Maura smiled holding her mother's hand realizing how rough her words were.

"May I ask why you asked me that question dear?"

"I just….I just feel that because Jane carried him she's got a bond that I will probably never share with him."

"Oh Maura…Of course the bond that is created during pregnancy is special and irreplaceable but the bond you already share with Louis is already so strong. Don't you remember that when Jane was pregnant and he would kick so hard that she was in pain only your voice would calm him down?Not to mention that he doesn't fall asleep if he doesn't hear your voice or will start crying if you leave his vision field. Trust me Maura, you may have not carried him but that child already loves you very much, don't ever doubt that."

"I know and as grateful as I am for the medical personnel's support I can not wait to take them home."

"I can understand that, as nice as the medical personnel is, the environment is so…impersonal. By the way not that he's born have you made any decision regarding your career?"

"Well I know that Jane is probably going back to work when she feels ready, not that she doesn't want to be home with him, but it's just who she is, she needs to be in the fields, she's far too active to be a stay home mother. Regarding myself...I think I might stay home until he's old enough to go to kindergarten, does that makes sense?"

"Yes it does. You're fortunate enough not to have to worry about your finances and if what you truly want is to stay home, I see no reason why you shouldn't. As for Jane, I think you're right she's a very passionate and driven woman who needs to be in the heart of the action but I'm sure she's going to make every sacrifice and arrangement possible to make sure to be there for your son."

"Of course she will, I know that she never wanted to get pregnant especially since she wasn't dating the father but ever since she decided to go through with her pregnancy she has been over excited to be a mother. I know how reckless she used to be and how important her job was for her but I'm convinced that things are going to be different now. She loves us more than anything else and I know we're her absolute priority."

"Good…"

An hour and a half later Maura was finally back at the hospital and was surprise to find Jane nursing little Louis.

"Hey there, look Louis your mommy is back." Jane smiled slightly turning him so he could see Maura.

"When did he wake up?"Maura replied taking off her coat.

"About ten minutes ago. How was lunch?"

"Very enlightening, your nap?"Maura replied sitting on the edge of Jane's bed her eyes inevitably attracted by Jane's gorgeous breasts.

"Enlightening as well. I had time to think about your concern regarding your bonding experience with him."

"Oh Jane, I'm sorry, it was childish of me. I know he loves me as much as I love him and that I shouldn't try to compete with you or to make up for the fact that I didn't carry him."

"I understand how you feel Maura, I really do and I'm glad that the two of you are so close and I'm sure that the older he's gonna get the closer you will but for the time being I have an idea that might help you bound with him."Jane replied closing her robe before handing the precious child to her.

"That's not necessary Jane, really…"

"Yes it is come on don't you wanna hear my idea?"Jane pouted.

"Yes, tell me."

"I was thinking you could breast feed him." Looking straight in Maura's eyes Jane was expecting a vivid reaction, even tears.

"Are you serious?"Maura mumbled almost chocking on her saliva.

"Yes, I read in one of the many books you made me read that adoptive mothers often breast feed their children and that lactation can be induced either by taking medication or by mechanical stimulation you know using a pump or the baby's mouth to stimulate your…"

"Yes, I get the picture , I'm a Doctor, so I know all about it." Maura replied impressed by how much Jane had actually learned and memorize reading those very technical and boring medical books.

"Good, I won't need to convince you then."

"Hum…Are you sure you want me to do this?"Seeing how serious Jane was about this Maura started to smile picturing herself nursing her child.

"Yes. Look, I know that unless we decide to have another child some day you will never be able to experience the bond created during pregnancy but I want you to feel as much as his mom as I do and as painful as nursing can be it's also a terrific experience that you should get to share with him, if you want to. "

"I would love that very much." Maura smiled pressing her lips against Jane's feeling the tears streaming down her cheeks.

Obviously as a Doctor Maura knew that induced lactation wasn't an easy thing to do and that despite her strong desire there was a strong chance that she might not succeed but she was grateful that Jane was giving her the opportunity to share this experience with her. As crazy as she and Louis were about each other Maura knew that nursing might be the most powerful experience she would ever share with him and was determined to do everything in her power to be able to share it with him.

**Alright guys, first of all I wanted to thank you all for the support you showed me on last chapter!I don't know if my writer's block can be qualified as a bad memory yet but I certainly feel more inspired than for the past few weeks ! **

**About this induced lactation...It's a real thing that adoptive mothers actually do. In some cultures grand mother even do it in case something happens to the mother. I think it makes sense for Jane seeing how worried Maura is not to be able to bond with their son to give her this opportunity . As for Maura's concerns I think they're justified, especially since her mother wasn't really the maternal type, it's natural that she's afraid of not being a good mother!**

**Anyway this chapter was as crazy as the "sympathetic pregnancy" was in my " wishes can come true" story.**

**As always your feedback would be great especially if you want me to explore this breast feeding thing :) God knows it would be cute to see Maura nursing the little guy!**

**Drama is coming soon(next chapter actually)**

**Thanks for the support guys and girls!**


	24. Adjusting

**Chapter 24 :**

**Adjusting : **

Little Louis was now a month old. After spending an entire week at the hospital making sure she was properly recovering Maura felt confident that Jane was well enough to go home and asked for her to be discharged under her care. Thanks to the help of their respectives family Jane and Maura along with little Louis came back on a sunday afternoon to a house who was perfectly child proved and to a nursery that was finally finished.

Obviously the first couple of weak were extremely challenging and the young parents had to adjust their life styles around Louis, waking up in the middle of the night to nurse him,changing him numerous time, holding him for hours when he was crying. Even if their new responsibilities were extremely tiring for them Jane and Maura were the perfect team and had came up with a perfect routine and a system that allowed both of them to have their rest.

Even if she had the opportunity to sleep as much as she wanted thanks to Maura's and their mothers' help Jane was still physically in pain. It seemed that giving birth had drained her off all her energy and she was struggling to recover.

On the other hand Maura never felt so energized in her entire life, waking up in the middle of the time to feed Louis, taking care of him when Jane was too tired. Obviously Maura knew and could see how hurt Jane still was and she was trying her best to spare her and to make sure she took the rest she needed hoping the pain would progressively fade away.

One of the thing Maura and Jane agreed on was that being parents should never mean that they should neglect their relationship. So once a week they made it a habit of leaving little Louis to Angela and Constance and spend the evening and night together. Obviously Jane was still in too much pain to go out or to have sex but what truly mattered for Maura was being able to lay in bed, cuddle and talk about their future.

After consulting with her gynecologist and considering her options Maura decided to give induced lactation a try, eager to experience that bond with her son. Determined to produce a milk as healthy as Jane's Maura opted for a mechanical stimulation rather than using medication. Obviously as a Doctor Maura knew that without medication there was a high chance that she might not succeed. Luckily After about 10 days of breasts massages, of holding her son putting his mouth on her nipples, talking to him Maura started to slowly produce milk and was now able to feed him at least twice a day.

That sunday afternoon Jane and Maura were enjoying a quiet family time which considering that Maura's parents were now living in the guest house with Angela was something that rarely happened.

As grateful as they were to have their parents home with them to help out with Louis they were happy to be able to spend some quality time together without being disturbed by one of the grand mothers who didn't seem to be able to stay away from him for more than a few hours.

"Isn't this nice?"Comfortably settled in the couch Maura was nursing Louis for the 6th day in a row and was still amazed by how wonderful this experience was.

"Yes it is."Sitting next to her fiancee twisting her hair with her fingers Jane was not only amazed by how comfortable she seemed holding and nursing their son by also by how radius, almost glowing she was and by great her breasts looked.

"Please tell me you're not staring at my breasts."Maura frowned feeling that Jane's attention wasn't on their son but rather on her breasts.

"Of course not, I'm just marveling at you nursing our son but I have to admit that I enjoy the view." Looking at Maura glowing Jane couldn't help but thinking that it has been two months since the last time they had sex.

After their little get away week end when she was about 20 weeks pregnant Jane and Maura had spent a lot of time in bed exploring each other. Unfortunately when Jane reached her seventh month she started to struggle moving around or even lifting up her feet. As patient as she knew Maura was she knew that she had needs and was hoping to be able to make love to her again. Obviously Jane knew that making love now that she wasn't pregnant anymore would be a complete new experience but was confident that Maura would be able to guide her and to reassure her regarding her post partum body.

"I can understand your attraction, I noticed that I gained a size ever since I started nursing him." All her life Maura always felt very in touch with her femininity, always took great care of her body by exercising, dieting and took a particular car in her choice of wardrobe but being a mother and especially nursing had ignited a new side of her femininity that she never suspected existed.

"Oh I noticed trust me, actually I was wondering if I could…"Biting her lower lip moving her hand towards Maura's breast Jane could barely resist the urge.

"No, you're not allowed to touch, not in front of him at least."Maura objected gently slapping Jane's hand.

"Alright, alright I will wait until he's sleeping to make a definitive assessment on their size."Jane frowned.

"I Would love that very much."

"I mean, hum...you know it's still too soon for me to have real sex but it doesn't mean we can't cuddle and start with gentle foreplay you know..."

"Don't worry about it Jane. I know you're still in pain and I have no intention of pressuring you. I'm willing to wait until your body is fully healed, no matter how long it takes and in the mean time making out like teenagers sounds perfect."Gently squeezing Jane's thighs Maura knew that it would take more than healing physically for Jane to be ready to have sex again. She knew that accepting her body with the stretch marks and maybe a few extra pounds might take time and also that recovering emotionally from giving birth wouldn't happen in one day. Luckily Maura was in no rush of resuming sexual activities. All she wanted was to make the transition into their new life style as smooth as possible as Jane.

"Thank you. Hey you know I noticed something : ever since you have been nursing him I started to produce less milk not to mention my breasts feel lest tender and painful, is that normal?"Jane asked quickly changing the subject.

"Well the lactation process basically works on a demand/supply basis, so considering you're nursing him less often your body adapted and slowed the lactation process down."

"Well I don't really care how my body works but I'm glad we get to share that experience."Jane smiled kissing Jane's shoulder.

"So am I. You know I used to envy you for being able to nurse him and that I'm lucky enough to do it myself I feel overwhelmed. I'm glad that I managed to lactate without taking any medication."

"Were you afraid not to be able to?"

"Yes. Obviously I knew that that prolactin and oxytocin were produced by the pituitary gland and therefore weren't not linked to being pregnant but I was still a bit worried and I really didn't want to have to use medication. "

"Well you have such a natural and strong bond with him that you managed to to it. I'm proud of you, not really surprised but proud."Jane said leaning over blowing a tender kissing on her fiancee's lip.

"Thank you."

Sitting in their living room enjoying this extraordinary experience Jane, Maura and Louis were once again in their bubble completely isolated from the exterior world. Actually they were so comfortable on their could that they didn't hear Maura's dad suddenly opening the main door.

"Anyone home?"Mr Isles shouted stepping into his daughter's house tossing his keys around his finger.

"Yes dad, we're here." Maura replied leading to the living room not thinking for a second about the view he would be faced with.

"How's my…oh boy, I'm sorry I didn't know you were…"Immediately turning around covering his eyes Mr Isles was shocked and felt stupid not having remembered that this time of day was nursing time. Unlike Angela and Constance he was still trying to get used to little Louis nursing and sleeping schedule.

"Breast feeding dad, it's a perfectly natural thing, nothing to be ashamed of. You can turn around now, I'm all covered up."Maura smiling amused by how puritan and shy her father was on the subject.

"Thank god, I'm so sorry for barging in like that. Jane, I enjoy your mother very much but…"Maura's dad mumbled feeling his heart hammering his chest as he slowly turned around opening his eyes progressively.

"But she drives you crazy?"Smiling Jane could only imagine how hard it was for him to live with Constance and Angela who seemed to have became BFFs.

"Let just say that against all odds your mother and my wife have discovered they had a lot of things in common and they feel the need to talk all day long."Mr Isles replied rolling his eyes.

"You know you and mom could always come here, we still have an extra bedroom with a private bathroom it's at the other hand of the house so you would have more privacy."Maura offered grateful that her parents were making that kind of sacrifice to be able to be close to her.

"No, I wouldn't even dare try to separate those two, so how is my grand son?"

"He is alright, I just fed him and he is already falling asleep do you want to hold him and put his to bed?"

"Absolutely. So this induced lactation actually works?"Mr Isles asked proudly taking his grand son away from his mother's embrace.

"It does. I'm obviously not producing as much milk as Jane but it's enough to feed him twice a day for now but I'm not worried it should increase with time."

"Good good, well I think I might take him to bed now he looks exhausted." He replied walking towards the nursery jiggling him from side to side.

Watching him walk away holding their son both Jane and Maura were amazed by how close the two of them already were and how sincere and full of good intentions Mr Isles was. After spending his entire lives neglecting their daughter Maura's parents had decided to make amends for their mistake and to do things differently now.

A few minutes later Little Louis was asleep and Maura's dad was back in the living room after spending a respectable amount of time watching him asleep.

"Oh, I'll get that." Walking towards the couch Maura's dad suddenly heard the door bell and deviated his course to answer the door.

"Hi. I'm sorry to bother you is Jane here?" A strong deep voice spoke.

"And you are?" Mr Isles asked examining the stranger from toe to head.

"Dean, what the fuck are you doing here?"Hearing that voice both Maura and Jane's hearts stopped. After months of not hearing from him, there he was standing in front of Maura's dad : the man who had fathered their son and who had straightened to tear their family appart.

**Alright guys, Yes a cliffhanger...**

**I wanted this chapter to be about the nursing and also about Jane's feelings regarding their sex lives...But I wanted to introduced the drama as well...**

**Next chapter is probably gonna blow your mind, I promise!**


	25. Dean's return

**My apologies for posting this chapter twice. I wanted to edit it and ended up deleting it :(**

**Chapter 25 : **

**Dean's return : **

"Dean, what the fuck are you doing here?"Hearing that voice both Maura and Jane's hearts stopped. After months of not hearing from him, there he was standing in front of Maura's dad : the man who had fathered their son and who had threatened to tear their family apart.

"You know this man Jane?" Mr Isles asked hearing Maura and Jane behind him.

"Yes dad, Agent Dean is Louis biological father." Taking a step outside closing the door behind her Maura had a feeling that this wasn't just a curtesy visit and was determined to keep this outside the house as not to wake little Louis up.

"Yes. I'm here to see my son." Dean replied looking straight into Maura's dad's eyes almost defying him to stop him.

"He is not your son. Louis is Maura's son."Mr Isles replied taking a step towards him making sure he couldn't reach out to either Jane or Maura.

"He's right Dean, you waived your parental rights. You have no business being here. Louis is fine so am I, that's all you need to know." Jane suddenly spoke.

Ever since Dean had waived his parental rights Jane and Maura had finally being able to breath, knowing that he would never be able to take him away from them. Unfortunately they knew that even with no legal rights over their son he could still cause them trouble.

"Well that's not enough, I want to see him."

"You heard Jane, you have no business being here, so go back to where you came from!"Mr Isles hollered violently pushing Dean against the wall pinning him against it pressing his forearm on his throat.

"Wow,wow, dad, please, this is not necessary. We are all adults and we should be able to to resolve this issue as such. Agent Dean, may I remind you that when your waived your parental rights?The court terminated them and that is something that is irreversible. You have no legal right over Louis and I could only suggest that don't even think of retaliating because I think you know what I'm capable of to protect my family. Dad, let's go inside, please he's not worth you getting all worked up." Maura said remaining as calm as possible as she grabbed her father's arm trying to pull him inside the house.

"You stay away away from my grand son and my daughters or I swear to God once I'm done with you your own mother won't be able to recognize you."Following Jane and Maura back inside the house sending Dean an angry and threatening look Maura's dad could barely believe that Dean actually had the nerve to show up like this.

"I'm sorry darling, I didn't mean to yell like that, I couldn't possibly let him near the tree of us knowing how he took advantage of Jane when she was the most vulnerable." Stepping back into the house Maura's dad could see how shocked the two of them were and knew that his role as a father and grand father was to protect them at any cost.

"You told him?"Jane yelled looking at Maura.

"Yes. I'm sorry"Maura mumbled taking a step towards Jane.

" How could you tell your father about Dean? I trust you!" Taking a step back, her hand on her forehead Jane couldn't believe that Maura would betray her like that. A few months ago when Maura took her on their first romantic gate away Jane confessed being drunk when Dean visited her that night and feeling that he abused her inebriety and vulnerability to get what he had always wanted. She had told her that in confidence and because she had been feeling miserable that she had let him screw her ike that that she even asked for more.

"Please don't be mad at Maura. I asked her why you were so determined to keep him away from your son and considering she can not lie, she told me what happened."

"I … just stay away from me!"Pushing Maura away before storming out of the living room Jane felt betrayed. She had confided in Maura because she needed her help to recover from that terrible experience and trusted her to keep it a secret.

"Jane…"Maura muttered stumbling backwards as she felt Jane's hands pushing her towards her dad.

"Just let her go darling, give her a little while to calm down."Maura dad said holding her arm keeping her from going after Jane.

"But she's mad at me me dad!"

"Welcome to married life dear. I'm the one who should apologize for putting my nose where it didn't belong and asking you about him. Come on sit with me." Maura's dad said gently rubbing her back.

"It's not your fault, you were just concerned. Oh dad what am I going to do now?"Sitting on her couch cupping her face with both hands Maura was once again faced with the same terrible dilemma : should she use the file she had on Dean and send him to jail and take the risk that Louis might hate her for it someday or not use it and take the risk that he tries to retaliate?

"Well first of all you're going to give Jane a little time by herself so she can calm down. Don't worry I will talk to her and apologize for intruding in your private life. Regarding Agent Dean I think we both know what you need to do."

"I can't do that dad. I can't send my son's father to jail!He's never going to forgive me for that!"

"Well are you planing on raising him telling me who his biological father is?"

"No. Dean is nothing more than a sperm donor but if when he's older Louis asks us we won't lie to him and I do not want to have to tell him that his biological father is in jail because of me."

"I'm sure he will be able to understand that you did it to protect him."

"Maybe…it's just that sometimes I'm scared that no matter how much I love him and how many men he's going to have around him growing up without knowing his father might scar him for life."

"Oh Maura sweetheart. What makes a child grow up to be a healthy adult isn't having a mom and a dad, it's being loved and surrounded by people who love and support him and who teach him the necessary values to grow up and become an adult. From what I observed over the past month this child is going to receive all the care he needs and deserves and as you mentioned he's also going to be raised surrounded by men like Jane's brother or her partner. You have nothing to worry about darling, Louis is going to be just fine and I'm sure he's going to understand that you did what you did to protect him."

"I know but... I know how it feels to have been kept away from your biological father for my own protection and no matter how much I know you love me I just…"As much as she hated Dean and didn't want him to ever meet her son Maura knew well enough how growing up without knowing where you come from can affect someone and she didn't want her son to grow up with the same identity issues she grew up with.

"I know how affected you were growing up not knowing who you were or were you came from, especially since I wasn't the warmest or most present father but your situation was different. You were never taken away from Doyle to keep him from hurting you or your mother and I, it was to keep you safe from his enemies and so you could grow up and have a normal life. Dean is threatening your family and you have to do what ever it takes to protect them."

"I know dad, I know. Will you go check on Jane while I call the attorney general?"

"Sure."Kissing Maura's temple he couldn't help but being extremely proud of his daughter for standing up for her family like that. He knew that she wasn't the type of woman who particularly enjoyed threatening people or using their connections to solve her problems but most importantly he knew that she wasn't the kind of mother to send her son's father to jail and he knew how painful having to make that decision have been for her.

A couple of minute later leaving her daughter in the living room to make the most important phone call of her life Maura's dad decided to visit Jane in their bedroom hoping she would forgive him of being so intrusive and Maura for breaking her confidence.

"May I come in?"He asked knocking at the half opened door.

"Do I have a choice?"Jane grinned laying in bed.

" No you don't. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I caused any trouble between you and my daughter." Mr Isles said shyly stepping inside the bedroom.

"She betrayed me. I told her what happened that night in confidence because I was hurt and needed help to get past it and she told you."

"She was worried about you Jane. She told me because I asked her too but also because she was worried about you. She was scared that you might never recover from what happened that night."

"Why would she think that?He didn't rape me you know. He came to my place to check on my after I killed Hoyt and I pulled him inside my apartment and dragged him to my bedroom. It was consensual sex."

"I know it was consensual but he still abused you Jane. You were inebriated and he took advantage of that and of the fact that you were in shock after being kept hostage. Maura told me you and him had some kind of unconsummated fling going on and you trusted him and he betrayed that trust. That would have traumatized anyone and the fact that you got pregnant made things worse I suppose."

"I suppose it did at first. You're right Dean and I had a thing going on and I felt betrayed and I also felt so stupid for being weak enough to invite him in my bed, drunk or not this is not who I am. Luckily feeling our son growing inside me made me realize that what It was actually the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me and that I shouldn't think about how it happened happened but rather about the result of it you know…"

"I understand Jane but you must admit that it took you a while to come to term with what happened and be in peace and Maura still worries about you and that's why she told me."

"When did she tell you?"

"A few days after Louis was born. We were working on the adoption with our lawyer and I asked her why was it so important to her that he never comes near you or Louis.

" Does she still think that I'm still hurt ?"

"I think so. You have to talk to her about it, you know my daughter she worries a lot, just like her mother actually."

"Yes, I will talk to her once I stop being mad at her for talking to you about her worries instead of talking to me."

"Don't get this the wrong way Jane, but do you have any idea what it has been like for Maura to be there for you for the past 9 months? She completely put her life aside to take care of you and your baby. She first asked you to move in with her, took you to every single doctor's appointment and than you started dating and she asked you to marry her and she is adopting your son. Don't get me wrong she loves you very much and I have never seen her that happy but the past 9 months have been a real challenge for her. She felt and still feels a lot of pressure, not only because she is taking care of you and Louis but also because she has spend the past few months scared to death that Dean may re appear and threaten you again, so please forgive her for having a moment of weakness and feeling compelled to confide in her old father for advice and support." Suddenly rising his voice Mr Isles was determined to stand up for his daughter. Obviously he knew how much Jane loved her and happy she made her but he had a feeling that she was as stubborn as he was and that she needed a little help seeing what Maura had sacrificed for her.

"I'm such an ass."Hearing the words coming from her father in law's mouth Jane was suddenly slapped in the face by how selfish she has been.

"That's not for me to say Jane, come on let's get you out of bed. I'm sure Maura is done with her phone call."He said helping Jane to sit up on the edge of the bed.

"Thank you, my back is still painful."

Walking towards the living room holding her back Jane realized how sensitive she had been. Mr Isles was right : for the past 9 months Maura has been giving herself 100% to her and their son without resting for a minute or asking everything back. Looking back Jane realized how much Maura had given her and had sacrificed to support her during her pregnancy and felt it was time for her to reciprocate and to express her gratitude.

"May I sit?"Jane shyly asked biting her bottom lip.

"Sure." Maura nodded smiling, seeing on Jane's face how sorry she was.

"Did you call the attorney general?" Sitting next to Maura seeing the phone in her hand Jane knew what she had just done and how hard it must have been.

"Yes I did. I had no choice Jane. I asked him once not to come near you again and he didn't listen. I thought that giving up his parental rights meant that he agreed and that he wouldn't come back. I guess I was wrong, but now that I made that phone call I promise you that he's never going to come near you or our son again."

"I know, thank you for doing this and for everything you've done for me and Louis over the past 9 months."

"You don't have to thank me Jane."

"Yes I do. I had a nice conversation with your father and I realized that you completely put your life aside to take care of us, to be there unconditionally without asking for anything in return. I know it wasn't easy for you, that I was grumpy all the time, that you were worried about the baby's health and about Dean and I failed to see it. I'm sorry and I understand why you felt compelled to confide in your dad."

"You don't have to apologize Jane. I tried my best to hide how worry I was about Dean coming back because I didn't want to make you worry about it. Now this is behind us, for good this time, don't worry about it."Maura pulling Jane against her.

"Alright. But just so you know. I'm in peace with what happened that night. I took me a while to realize it but as humiliating as it was it gave me the two most wonderful gifts possible : you and Louis and I will always be grateful for that."Comfortably settled in her fiancee's arms Jane realized how selfish she has been and that she really needed to show her how much she loved her and how grateful she was. Also Jane was realized knowing that Dean would never come near them again, this time it was a certitude, Maura had made sure of it.

**Alright people, at first I wanted Dean to go all crazy and take them hostage or something but I figured it wasn't a good idea...**

**How much do we love Maura's dad for calling Jane on her BS like that?I mean Jane didn't refused to see how hard Maura had fought for her and how hard it has been on purpose but still it was time for someone to remind her how lucky she is to have Maura in her life, right?**

**Also do you think Maura made the right call?Do you think Louis is gonna hate her for it later?**

**The next few chapters should be interesting. I'm going to focus a bit more on their relationship, on how they try to be a couple and to spend quality time together as not to neglect their relationship, which as you must know is challenging when you have a child...it's going to be challenging, that's all I'm going to reveal!**


	26. Retaliation

**Chapter 26 :**

**Retaliation : **

About two weeks later things were finally back to normal. After calling the attorney general, Maura met with him and handed him the file she had gathered on Agent Dean. Obviously she had to explain the reasons that pushed her to hire private investigators to dig into Dean's past and luckily for her as much as the general attorney didn't usually care for personal vendettas, corrupted federal Agents had became one his battles over the past few years.

So after checking if Maura's facts were correct the general attorney had issued a arrest warrant after being denied bail Dean was now in jail pending his trial.

That saturday night after dropping Louis at the guests house leaving him under her father's care Maura joined Jane in the main house determined to spend some quality time with her fiancee.

"Hey, you're back already."Standing in the middle of the kitchen in front of the over trying to figure out what complicated meal Maura had came up with this time Jane was a little nervous. Over the past 6 weeks Maura has been really patient and gentle, knowing that she wasn't emotionally or physical really to have sex. Unfortunately Jane had her post natal check up a few days earlier and her OBGYN congratulated her telling her that not only her cervix were closed but she was almost perfectly healed, which according to her was pretty exceptional after only 6 weeks. Knowing Maura she knew that she had organized this romantic evening opening to rekindle their sexual desire . The only problem was that Jane was still in pain and considering she was physically healed knew that the problem was psychological but couldn't pin point the reason yet and she simply didn't want to have to talk about it with Maura, not yet, not until she figured out what was wrong with her.

"Yes. You fed him half an hour ago so he fell asleep almost immediately after I put him down." Walking towards the kitchen Maura was nervous as well. Over the past 6 weeks they had spent several nights by themselves, thanks to their parents' help but tonight was the first night she knew something sexual could happen.

So Maura had spent the afternoon, cooking, washing her hair, shaving her legs, changing the sheets and duvet covers making sure everything was perfect.

"Do you think your father is going to be alright?I mean one of our mothers is usually there with him." Feeling Maura's arms around her Jane slightly fidgeted a bit uncomfortable, feeling Maura's desire as she pulled her against her.

"Don't worry about it. My father is perfectly capable of handling it and besides I doubt that Louis is going to cause him any trouble. He feels very comfortable with him and I'm sure having him feed him shouldn't bother him."

"Alright, alright, so what's in that oven anyway?I can't see anything."

"A turkey, a very small turkey."

"Are you kidding?Thanksgiving is in two weeks!"

"Exactly, that's why I bought this one, so I could experiment a little to make sure that the one I prepare for Thanksgiving is absolutely perfect." This year was their first Thanksgiving as a family and Maura was hosting it and was determined to make everything perfect.

"Oh baby. I know it's our first Thanksgiving and that you're nervous but I'm sure everything is going to be perfect. Remember last year?You and my mother make the perfect team."Jane replied kissing Maura's forehead, her arms around her waist.

"So I suppose I should get rid of the pecan pie I prepared this afternoon?"

"Of course not!You know it's my favorite!"Jane objected pocking Maura's belly.

"Alright, alright, let's go chill out for a little while. Dinner won't be ready for another two hours anyway."Pulling Jane towards their bedroom Maura already had a very precise idea of how she wanted to spend the next two hours.

"Shouldn't we stay here looking after the turkey?"Jane mumbled knowing exactly where Maura's enthusiasm was going to lead them.

"Don't worry the oven is programmed to slowly shut down when the timer is done."

Stepping into their bedroom Jane was immediately amazed by how tidy everything was and how good their it smelled. After spending the entire afternoon cooking while Jane was out with her mother Maura still managed to clean their bedroom and lit up some candles creating a perfectly romantic atmosphere.

"Do you like it?"Pulling Jane towards their bed hoping she would understand what her plans for tonight were Maura was also hoping that Jane was ready and wouldn't push her away .

"I do, it's I mean…I don't think this bedroom has been that tidy since we brought Louis home."Jane replied forcing herself to smile.

"You're right, but I wanted tonight to be special and as much as I enjoy having his things spread all over our house I think we should keep our love nest tidy from now on don't you think?"

"I agree, those candles actually smell really good. How about we lay down until dinner is ready?I could use the nap." Jane replied climbing in bed positing her arms across her belly.

"Oh dear, I have no intention of allowing you to sleep tonight."Maura muttered joining Jane attacking her neck without any prior warning.

Slowly rolling on top of her kissing Jane's neck, drawing circles with the tip of her tongue while innocently sliding her hand under Jane's tank top Maura had no intention of acting like an clumsy teenager. Jane and her were adults and acting shyly would only add awkwardness to the situation.

"Hey easy tiger.."Jane objected gently pushing her away.

"Something wrong?"Maura replied rising her head narrowing her eyebrows.

Before Jane could reply someone suddenly rang at their door.

"Saved by the bell."Jane said to herself relieved, hoping it would be her father in law.

"That must me my father in need of further instructions. Do not move, I will be right back."Maura murmured kissing Jane's cheek before bouncing out of bed.

Walking towards the door Maura was praying that her father had everything under control and that he just needed reassurance . After months of focusing on Louis they both needed to treat themselves and focus on each other and Maura was determined to give that to Jane tonight.

"Oh my...What in hell are you doing here?"Opening the door expecting to see her father Maura jaw dropped as she saw the man standing in front of her.

"Good evening Maura, you look radius."Doyle replied standing in the obscurity of Maura's porch his hands casually in his pockets.

"Do not stand here, my father is in the guest house I don't want him to see you."Considering the situation for one second Maura concluded it was better if Jane saw Doyle than her father so she grabbed him and pulled him inside.

"I know, I saw him holding a baby, was it..."

"I swear to God Doyle if you come near my son I will end you!"Pointing her finger at Doyle Maura almost forgot that Doyle wasn't the enemy but after what happened with Dean couldn't help but to consider everyone who looks at her son as a threat.

"I'm not here to hurt you or your family Maura, actually I'm here to help you. I have information that might save your life."Following Maura in the living room Doyle smile at the anger and protectiveness Maura was demonstrating. What Maura didn't know or refused to believe was that Doyle had always kept an eye on her and had watched her grow up from a child to being the most extraordinary he ever met and had paid particular attention to her since he found out Jane and her were pregnant. Even if he had always managed to hide the fact that he had a daughter what happened with Colin had proved him that Maura would never been save and was determined to keep an eye on her and now on her family.

"What are you talking about?"

"One of my guys discovered that someone has been spreading the word that you are my daughter. I have had guards posted around your house even since I have found out but I can not find who could have done such a thing."

"Oh my God...he didn't." Covering her mouth her eyes filled up with terror Maura knew exactly who was behind all this.

"You know who is behind this?"

"Yes. Louis's biological father. He...threatened us multiple times and I...took care of him and he's now in jail."Falling back on the chair of the couch Maura could barely breath. Sending Dean to jail was supposed to protect them not put their lives in danger.

"That's my daughter..."Doyle said to himself his heart filled up with proud as he pictured his daughter "taking care" of the man who has been threatening their family.

"Doyle!What the fuck are you doing here?Maura are you okay?"Suddenly stepping into the living room instinctively reaching for her missing gun on her belt Jane couldn't believe her eyes.

"Good evening Detective, I think congratulations are in order." Doyle quietly replied as he turned around to face Jane confident that she wouldn't harm him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?I swear to god if you touched her..."Jane roared narrowing her eyebrows prepared to jump at his throat.

"He's here to help Jane."Maura mumbled still in shock as she tried to stand up.

"Help with what?"

"Well someone has been spreading the truth about my affiliation with Maura and she believes it might be your son's father."

"Son of a bitch!"Tapping her feet on the floor seeing the tears streaming on Maura's face Jane knew how guilty she must have felt knowing that Dean was retaliating because of what she did.

"Oh Jane. I'm so sorry."Maura said bursting in tears as she ran towards Jane crashing on her chest.

"Shhhh, it's going to be okay. I'm going to take care of you. No one is going to hurt our family. I promise."Her arms around Maura, kissing her forehead Jane was for the first time since she met Doyle grateful, knowing he would be able to help her protect their family.

"Yes Maura do not worry about a thing. As I said I have men circling your house and I will keep them until I'm confident you're safe."

"Do you know if any of your rivals know yet?"Jane asked petrified at the idea that the entire Boston organized crime might come at them.

"The words travel fast on the street but I will not let anything happen to you or your son. I don't know what I'm going to have to do but I'm going to keep you safe but in the mean time maybe you should leave town."

"That might not be a bad idea. I'm gonna get Louis and your father. You know him right?"The truth was Jane and Maura still had no idea if Doyle met Maura's adoptive parents.

"Yeah we met over thirty five years ago, he's a good man."The truth was that Doyle had met with the Isles when he and his wife at the time decided to put Maura up for adoption. He wanted to make sure that his precious daughter went to the best family possible, a couple who would give her the kind of life that he wouldn't be able to provide her with.

A few minutes later Jane was back little Louis in her arms followed by Maura's father.

"Doyle..." Maura's father groaned as he saw the man he prayed he would never see again.

"Robert, it's been a while."Staring at the man who had raised his daughter Doyle, knowing how much Maura loved him felt a bit jealous but also grateful that he raised her to be such a wonderful woman.

"Alright let's not turn this into a pissing contest. Sir the reason why Doyle is here is because Dean is spreading the truth about Maura's identity in the street and he has reason to believe that one of his rivals might attempt on her life." Holding Louis tight jiggling him from side to side Jane was carefully observing the two men interact trying to see how much they actually knew each other.

"What makes you think any of them would come after my daughter?"Mr Isles asked his fists clenched on both sides of his hips.

"Because when they found out I had a son they killed him. I obviously took care of the man who killed Colin and made it clear that I would do anything to keep my family safe and managed to keep the truth about Maura's identity until now."

"Maura...did you know about this?"

"Yes dad, I performed the autopsy on Colin myself . That's how I found out he was my half brother and how I met Doyle."Seeing the panic and fear on her father's eyes Maura suddenly regretted not telling them the entire truth about her encounter with Doyle. About a year ago when Doyle first came in Maura's life she found herself hesitant to tell her parents but Jane convinced her to knowing that talking about it might finally open the dialogue between her and her parents. Following her best friend advice Maura went to meet her parents in New-York and told them about her encounter with Doyle but failed to mention Colin because she didn't want them to worry about her safety.

"This is not happening...You put her under our care so she would be safe and you're telling me that the same guys who killed your son are after my daughter and possibly my daughter in law and grand son?I don't care how many of them you're gonna have to kill but you're going to protect them!"

"That's my intention but as I was saying Maura, Louis and Jane should leave town for a little while just the time for mean to sort this out and I don't think your wife needs to be aware of the situation that would only put her in danger."Looking at Jane holding Louis and Maura gently rubbing his back Doyle knew that he didn't have a choice, that he had to protect them no matter what it might cost him, including his own life.

"You're right. Jane darling let me put Louis to bed in his bedroom while the tree of you discuss the details."

"Sure. Hey buddy wanna go with your grand pa while we discuss this?"Jane smiled gently handing him to Maura's father.

Watching the four of them interact, touch each other, Doyle realized that he had made the right choice by giving Maura up for adoption, that because of his choice Maura now had a family and a life that he was extremely proud of.

For the past 35 years Patrick Doyle as rough as he was spent every single day blaming himself for being who he was because it had made him loose the two things that mattered the most for him : Maura and her biological mother. For years he had blamed himself for separating his wife from that little girl she had carried in her belly for 9 months. He had spent year trying to convince himself that it was the right thing to do, that the Isles would be able to provide her with the best money could buy and seeing Maura becoming a world class pathologist he knew that he had made the right choice. When Colin was killed and he finally met Maura for the first time in over 35 years he remember fighting the urge to hold her and to apologize for abandoning her but he knew that he couldn't do that, that he couldn't allow himself to be sentimental. For the past 35 years Doyle had stayed in the shadow watching over Maura and today he had the chance of finally be in the light and to prove to her that despite being a cold blooded killer he loved her and would do and give everything he had to protect her and her family refusing to let someone split them up the way his own family was split up because of who he was.

**Alright, after reading your reviews and thinking about it I realized that Dean's return wasn't spectacular enough and that he has been dealt with too easily so I added this story line with Doyle.**

**What do you think?God I' excited to see how you feel about this..I think them being on the run should be fun to write and read...right?**


	27. Guilt

**Alright guys Im reuploading this chapter cause I received a couple of messages telling me that reviews didn't work...:(Don't know what happened... And I would love your feedback on this especially the last part :)**

**This story is taking a direction I never suspected, I'm surprising myself :)**

**Chapter 27 :**

**Guilt :**

Watching her father walking away holding little Louis Maura was holding Jane's hand squeezing it as hard as she could trying to hold the tears.

Ever since she had found out that Jane was pregnant she had done everything she in her power to protect her and their son and when Dean first came back she did what she thought was best for her family without imagining that her actions would lead to such a dramatic situation. When she visited Dean and made it clear that she was going to raise his son with Jane and that he had no word to say in the matter Maura thought that by showing him no fear and determination he would eventually give up, which he did at first. Unfortunately Maura had underestimated his desire to meet his son and his thirst for vengeance when denied that opportunity. When Maura met with the state attorney and gave him proof of Dean's crimes she honestly thought it was what as best for her family, that it was the only way to protect them but she failed to consider what a man who has nothing to loose can be capable of.

"So what's the plan?"Her arm strongly snaked around Maura's waist Jane could see the guilt in her eyes and the fear as well and knew that today for the first time in months she needed her to be the protective and strong one.

"Well I suppose Louis doesn't have a passport yet so you can't live the country. We need to find a place no one knows about, your parents must have a country house somewhere right?"Still standing is hands in his pocket Doyle could see the fear in his daughter's eyes and was determined to make things right for her and her family.

"Yes, we own a small cabin two hours from Boston that was built by my grand father. It's so secluded that the roads leading to it aren't on any maps."

"That sounds perfect. Don't worry I will have two of my best man stay with you at all times. Everything is going to be alright. I promise." Doyle replied taking a step forwards.

"That won't be necessary. I might be on maternity leave but I still have my weapon and I'm perfectly capable of protecting my family." Rising her voice her pride hurt a little Jane wanted to make it clear to Doyle that despite accepting his help, she was still a Detective and therefore perfectly capable of protecting her own family.

"With all due respect Jane even if I know you're a sharp shooter and that you would anything to protect your family I would much rather have you alive. Let's not forget what happened last time you found yourself in that kind of situation."

"How dare you?How dare you come to my house and tell me how to protect my wife and my son?"Jane groaned taking a step towards Doyle rising her clenched fist in the air clenching her teeth as she fought the urge to punch his in the face.

"Enough! Jane please. I know how strongly you feel about protecting the people you love but Doyle is right. I'm the one responsible for all this and I will not have you risk your life to fix my mistakes. I will not have you shot a second time. So you are going to let him protect us while you stay at my side where you belong." Rising her voice both her fists clenched on both sides on her hips Maura was forced to admit that Doyle was right : Jane might be a sharp shooter but she wouldn't last a minute against the kind of criminals that were after her.

"Alright. I'm sorry Maura'. I'm a mother now and I have to think about our safety first." Pulling Maura against her kissing her cheek tenderly Jane was forced to surrender to Doyle's demand and let him protect her family.

One of the reason Jane didn't go after Doyle after he kidnaped her the first or when he held her and Tommy against their will was because she knew deep down that he truly love her in his own way and that if anything happened to her he would be the only one capable of protecting her. As hard as it was for her to let her family's fate in the hands of a criminal Jane knew she had no choice, that not only she would not be able to protect them on her own and most importantly that Maura and Louis needed her to be mommy Jane not Detective Rizzoli and to protect them with her comforting arms not her gun.

"Is everything okay?"Standing behind the two women Maura's dad could see how tensed the atmosphere was and couldn't help but feeling powerless.

"Yes dad, Jane, Louis and I are going to grand pa's cabin." Maura replied turning around feeling her heart racing in her chest.

"Don't you think hiding in a such a secluded area might be dangerous?"

"Don't worry about it Robert. I will have two of my best men stationed outside days and nights. I won't let anything happen to my…your daughter." Clumsily correcting himself Doyle had to face the fact that Maura was indeed an Isles and that as much as he loved her she would never consider him her father and that things were better that way.

"Good…"

"Well I better get going. Pack your bags and hit the road as soon as possible tomorrow morning. My guys will be following you. I will contact you if necessary alright?"Walking towards the door Doyle knew that the two women needed time alone to apprehend the situation and to have a good night of rest.

The main reason that made Doyle put Maura up for adoption is because he didn't want her to have to live her life as a fugitive and because of who he was. Now her and her family were forced to go in hiding and he was determined to put an end to this madness no matter what he had to do or how many people he would have to kill.

"What should we tell our mothers?"Maura asked suddenly concerned about Angela and Constance's safety.

"You can tell them that you're going on your honey moon, that you need some time away, just the tree of you. I'm sure they'll understand."

"You want me to lie?"Maura hissed shocked that Doyle could even suggest that she lied to her mother and her mother in law.

"No darling, he wants you to keep your mother and Angela out of this and I have to agree. You know how worried the both of them can get."

"I know, but I want you to protect them as well, God knows you have enugh men under your command to do that."

"Of course I will protect them. Have a good night darling."Finally leaving the house Doyle could see and feel Maura's guilt because he had felt the same guilt when Colin died. Because of her action and who she was Maura's family was now in danger just like Colin was because of his affiliation to him.

"I think we should all go to bed. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."Escaping from Jane's embrace as she walked towards their bedroom Maura's eyes on top of being wet with tears were empty of any emotion, like if a small piece of her had died.

"She's never going to forgive herself." Watching his daughter dragging her feet away from them Mr Isles knew that the guilt of being the cause of all this drama would probably eat his daughter alive.

"She will, I will be there to help her just like she was there to help me forgive myself for shooting myself. Come on, go get some sleep, I got her." Jane replied following her wounded fiancee in their bedroom.

Stepping into their bedroom Jane immediately noticed Maura on their bed curled in fetal position sobbing.

"I'm so sorry Jane, this is all my fault."Maura muttered almost chocking on her own tears.

"Oh Maura, this is not you're fault. It's Dean's fault, he's the one who revealed your identity to Boston's worse criminals."Jane replied climbing in bed wrapping herself around Maura.

"But he would have never decided to release this information if I hadn't decided to go to the attorney general."

"You're right. He might not have released the information but he would have found another way to hurt us. You did what you thought was right to protect our family. Actually you have been pretty kind with him, giving him several chances to stay out of our lives. If it were up to me I would have turned him in the first time he threatened us."

"Look where being kind hearted lead us. I thought that by waiving his parental rights he was finally giving up and look where my naivety lead us."

"Hey, stop blaming yourself alright?Everything is going to alright. I would never let anyone hurt you or Louis and neither would Doyle."

"I know. God, I always thought that meeting my biological parents would bring me closure, that it would help me understand who I was but it turned out to be a real curse and now because of what I did and who I am the two people I love most are in danger. The two of you would be better off without me."Maura sighed folding her legs up against her chest.

"How can you say that?Louis and I love you so much. If I haven't met you I don't think I would have recovered from what Hot did to me the first time or from shooting myself, God I think I would have never gone through with my pregnancy if it wasn't for you. I owe you my life on so many levels and so does our son. "

"Maybe but your life wouldn't be in danger if I wasn't in your life."Flipping on her back looking up in Jane's big brown eyes Maura was touched by her attempt to make her see every positive she had brought to her life.

"And if I hadn't been in your life you would never have that scar." Jane replied swiping a strain of hair from Maura's neck revealing a small scar caused by Hoyt's scalpel.

"For better or for worse…"

"Until life do us part. I promise you we are going to be alright and when all this madness is over you and I are going to get married and I intend to take you on a real vacation afterwards." Pressing her lips against Maura's her hand on her belly Jane knew that the guilt wouldn't leave Maura that easily, that she would need to be there for her to tell her how much she loved her and to show her that she wasn't mad at her just like Maura did when she shot herself.

Lying in bed each trying to appear strong both women were actually terrified. As much as they trusted Doyle to protect them and to risk his own life in the process, feeling the life of their son threatened like this not only scared them to death but enraged them as well.

Jane on one hand could not believe that Dean would put his son's life in danger out of vengeance, to punish Maura for turning him in. She actually couldn't believe how stupid and blind she had been allowing him into her life, into herself but as much as she hated him he gave her a wonderful baby boy and for that reason she knew she shouldn't regret anything or feel guiltily for her actions.

Maura on the other hand was almost paralyzed by her guilt. The objective and rational part to of her knew that nothing could have prevented Dean from trying to hurt them , that right from the moment he found out Jane was pregnant all he wanted was to win her back and that a refusal from Jane's part would have inevitably push him to retaliate.

Deep down she knew that faced to Jane's rejection Dean would have continued to verbally threaten them over and over until he felt ready to add action to his words and she knew that she had to put an end to this.

Unfortunately feeling her family threatened Maura's rationalism was useless, all she could focus on was that her actions, her desire to be the man in this relationship, to support and protect Jane unconditionally without thinking about the consequences might get them killed.

Laying in bed all Maura wanted to do was to run away from Jane and Louis so far that she wouldn't be a danger to them anymore. Luckily Maura knew that Jane would never forgive her for abandoning them and for putting herself as bate for Doyle's enemies. She knew that for now the best thing she could do was to allow Doyle to protect her family and to stay by their sides and that she would deal with her guilt later, once her family would be safe.

**So guys, what do you think?I think that Maura's guilt is going to be an interesting feeling to explore.**

**When you think about it she was never going to win. No matter how she could have apprehended the situation Dean would have hurt them anyway.**

**Unfortunately her rationalism doesn't seem to help her on this, she feels guilty for putting her family in danger like this.**

**I know this was a short chapter but I just wanted to have them talk about their get away plans and to talk about Maura's guilt.**

**I think that Doyle is touching in this chapter that all he wanted was to keep Maura from that kind of life and danger but that no matter what he does his name and who he is will always put her in danger as long as he lives...**

**I haven't decided what Doyle is gonna do to protect them yet...or what's gonna happen to Dean...I'm opened to suggestions.**

**As usual your feedback is greatly appreciated!**


	28. Loves conquers all

**Alright guys, after almost a month of absence, I'm back, don't know for how long or how many new chapters. I'm not saying that I got my mojo back, but I decided to force things a bit…I just couldn't leave those 4 stories unfinished..**

**Enjoy…**

**Chapter 28 :**

**Love conquers all :**

The next morning Maura got up around 7 am awaken by Louis crying in the next room.

Immediately turning the baby monitor off as not to wake Jane up Maura quietly extracted herself from her fiancée's embrace sat on the edge of their bed, slid into her blue silk robe and mechanically walked towards the nursery.

"Hey little man, you're already up?"Maura said walking towards the crib cracking her neck as she tried to wake herself up.

Gently picking him up Maura was immediately welcomed by the most wonderful smile she's seen in her entire life.

"Well I see you inherited your mother's smile, let's hope you haven't inherited her rather colorful personality as well."Maura smiled holding little Louis tight as she sat back on the rocking chair behind her.

Opening her robe, offering her breast to the starving child Maura started to think about what had happened with Dean and how Doyle miraculously barged in to save their lives.

Even if Maura had no doubt of what Doyle was capable off to protect her she was surprised even amazed that he would risk his own life to protect Louis, Jane and their parents as well.

Actually for the first time since she first met him she was grateful that her biological father was a mob lord because as protective as Jane was over their family Doyle was right : they could not do this without him.

"You know I never wanted this to happen. All I wanted was to be your mommy and to take care of you and your mom. I obviously never expected Dean to surrender without a fight but I was convinced that after realizing your mom wasn't interested in him anymore he would just loose interest. Little I knew your….Dean isn't the man we thought he was and now his actions are only motivated by his ego and his desire to get back at me not by is undying love for you and your mother. I hope that someday you will be able to understand my actions and forgive me for sending him to jail. I hope you won't think that I did it out of jealousy because I wanted to keep you all for myself. You must know that I would have loved for you to have a normal relationship with him even if it meant sharing you on week ends and holidays. God I love you and your mother so much and I promise I'm going to do everything to keep you safe even if I have to leave the country or give my life. I promise."Feeding her son holding him tight Maura was still unable to let go of the guilt that had kept her awake all night.

Standing a few feet behind laying against the door Jane was carefully listening to Maura talking to their son but chose not to interrupt them knowing that she needed to make amends for what she considered being a mistake.

As painful as it was for Jane to watch Maura blame herself like that she knew it was a necessary process, that Maura need to punish herself for a while before moving on.

Actually Jane knew exactly how Maura felt because she had felt the same after shooting herself. She had felt guilty for weeks afterwards for putting her loved ones through that pain and was grateful to have Maura in her life to understand her need to whine for a little while before pulling her up and helping her to move on.

Stepping back in her living room Jane was surprised to find her in laws casually having breakfast with Angela.

"Good morning sweetheart, how did you sleep last night?"Angela enthusiastically asked greeting Jane with a plate full of pancakes.

"Good, good."Jane grinned looking at Mr Isles .

"So how did you two love birds spent the night?"Angela probed eager to find out if the two women had finally managed to have sex for the first time since Jane gave birth.

"Ma!How can you ask me that?Especially in front of Maura's parents?"Jane hissed tapping her foot on the floor.

"It's alright Jane. We have nothing to hide. Jane and I spent the evening talking and making plans for our future one of them being going on vacation."Maura suddenly replied from a distance.

"Hey… I missed you." Jane pouted taking a step towards Maura kissing her tenderly.

"Well our little guy here was starving and I didn't want to wake you up. Right Louis?"Maura replied handing the little prince to Jane.

"So you're planning on going on vacations?"Angela smiled picturing herself having Louis for herself while Jane and Maura would be away.

"Yes, after all we've been through I think the tree of us deserve some vacation. We're leaving in a couple of hours and please don't ask us where we're going because we have no idea, we're just gonna hit the road and see where it takes us."Jane replied looking straight in her father in law's eyes for support.

"Good for you Jane!You're right, after all you have been through over the past few months you deserve some quality time together."Mr Isles asked biting the inside of his cheek as a punishment for lying to his wife.

"You're taking my grand son away from me?"Angela pouted, a tear running down her cheek.

"Oh Angela, please don't be sad. Jane and I really appreciate all you and my parents have been doing for us but Jane is right, we need time by ourselves but if it makes you feel any better we are planning on getting married as soon as we come back." Sitting on the arm of their couch seeing the pain in Angela's eyes maura couldn't help but feeling guilty for taking her away from her grand son but knew that by staying in Boston she would put her and her parents in danger.

"Oh...that's a terrific news, I suppose planning a second wedding should keep us busy while you're away, right Constance?"

"Absolutely, I realize that we barely let you have a few minutes by yourself ever since the wedding and the tree of you deserve some quality time."Observing her daughter nervously twisting her hair with her fingers Constance knew that there was something wrong but knew better than confronting her in front of Angela.

Half an hour while Jane was packing their things in their bedroom Maura and her mother were in charge of packing Louis' things, clothes, diapers...

"You know you can tell or ask me anything, right?That you father and I would give everything including my life for you and your family?"Constance suddenly said.

Turning her back on her mother as she was folding Louis' night clothes Maura's heart suddenly stopped. Even if her mother and her were never as close as Angela and Jane were, Constance as always been able to see when Maura was hiding or at least trying to hide things from her.

"I know mom, I know..."Maura replied in a barely audible sight closing her eyes.

"Then tell me what is going on, did you have a fight with Jane?"Her hand on Maura's back gently trying to make her confide in her Constance was doing her best not to push her daughter to hard, knowing how defensive she could be when it came to accepting people's help.

"I...We got a visit from Doyle last night, apparently someone is spreading the truth about my affiliation to him, that's why we're leaving, because he's convinced that every single mob family in Boston is soon going to be after me."Saying those words were as hard as splitting razors blades would have been for Maura.

"Dean, that son of a b..."Constance groaned making an mental note to personally visit him in prison to give him a taste of her hands on his face.

"I did this mom, it's my fault...I...sent him to jail and now he's trying to hurt me, oh mom what if one of Doyle's ennemies gets to Louis or Jane just because I was too pride to allow him in our lives?"Maura mumbled bursting into tears.

"Oh Maura, this is not your fault, you did what you had to do to protect your family. Jane told him repeatedly that she didn't want him in your lives and he even waived his parental rights but he came back anyway. He was a a threat, not to mention a corrupted FBI Agent, you did the right thing. Come here."Constance said pulling her in her arms.

"I know I did the right thing, but..."

"There is no but, God knows what he would have done if you hadn't put him away, maybe he would have hurt you or kidnapped Louis. You did the right thing alright?Now tell me all about Doyle's plan to protect you, because I'm sure he's got one."Constance said whipping the tears of her daughter's face.

"He told us he was going to take care of this and ask us to go away for a while just the tree of us and not to tell you or Angela, you know how worried she gets."

"Does your father know about this?"

"Yes he does, he was baby sitting Louis when Doyle came over. Oh mom, this is going to end up in a blood bath, I know what he's capable of in order to protect me and to show his ennemies that threatening me equals a death wish."Slowly calming down Maura started to imagine what Doyle was going to do to make sure she and her family were safe. She knew that as the cold blooded killer and over protective father that he was he would spare no expense to make sure that every single criminal in the state knew that touching or even thinking about hurting her would as efficient as signing their own death certificate.

"Well I don't care how many criminals he has to take care off, as long as you, Jane and my grand son are safe, now come on, we need to finish packing before Angela decides to handcuff herself to Louis." Constance smile trying to bring a smile on her daughter's face.

"Alright, thank you mom, thank you for everything."Maura smiled.

An hour later Jane and Maura were driving towards her grand father's cabin. After considering it carefully they decided to stop by the station to warn Frost and Korsak that they might have a war on their hands very soon and as unethical as it was to ask them not to go after Doyle. Seeing how terrified Jane and Maura were both Frost and Korsak agreed to keep this quiet and to inform them if anything happened to Doyle.

Her eyes focused on the road, knowing two of Doyle's best men were following them Maura was still unable to let go of her guilt. As rational as she was and even if she knew she made the right decision Maura couldn't help but thinking that none of this would have happened if she hadn't been so stubborn and if she hadn't tried to be a bigger man than Dean. Taking a quick look at her rear mirror, marveling at the little angel sleeping in his car seat Maura started to think about what her mother said : What if she hadn't taken the matter in her own hands and allowed Dean to continue to threatened them?Would he have had the guts to kidnap Louis or to come after her? Smiling at the thought Maura knew that one way or another Dean was going to pay for what he was doing to her, she knew that there was no way Doyle would allow him to live after threatening her and as immoral as it was she didn't care. She was Louis's mother and as hard as growing up without a father might be she knew that with Jane and their family's help there was no reason for him to grow up unbalanced or traumatized.

Quietly sitting in the passenger's seat Jane couldn't help but seeing how worried Maura still was. She knew that it would take time for her to forgive herself, but was hoping that with Doyle's help, this nightmare would be over soon, once and for all.

Obviously ever since she decided to have this child without Dean's help Jane had wondered what kind of damage growing without a father could cause on a child, especially a boy. Even if she knew that thanks to Frankie,Frost and Korsak her son was going to grow up surrounded by men she knew that not growing up without knowing were he came from might be difficult for Louis but she knew that keeping Dean away from Louis was the best decision she ever made. A few months ago, after considering it Jane and Maura agreed that if Louis ever asked they would tell him the truth about his father but after all that happened she didn't know what she was going to tell him, but somehow looking at that beautiful fiancee of hers Jane knew that no matter how many questions Louis might have in the future, they would face and answer them together as a team. She knew that as long as they stick together, no mobster, or corrupted FBI Agent or serial killer could ever hurt them or pull them appart. All her life Jane had fought for what was right, she had always had this immense sense of duty and a profound desire to help people and had always been driven by that thirst for justice. Today for the first time in her life what was driving her was love, the unconditional she had for her fiancee and her son and that visceral need she had to keep them safe and she knew that Maura shared the same need. After surviving Hoyt several times, shootings, hostage situations, or even Ian together Jane knew that what united her and Maura and now Louis was stronger than any threat and that their love would allow them to overcome this challenge and that they would come out of it stronger, ready to face the rest of their live together, as a family.

**So guys, what do you think?I know this wasn't the best chapter I wrote so far, but It's been a month since I wrote anything, so I'm a bit out of practice, forgive me?**  
><strong>Should I continue this story?<strong>

**Dean's fate hasn't been decided...yet...Ideas are welcome,thanks for all the nice emails you sent me over the past month, your encouragements helped me a lot :) and if you guys want me back on FF I'd be happy to wrap up all my fictions :)**


	29. Failure

**Thank you guys for the support on chapter 28, it's good to be back!**

**Chapter 29 :**

**Failure.**

About tree hours later Jane, Maura, little Louis arrived at the cabin followed by Doyle's men.

Stepping into the Isles' family summer house holding the little angel followed by Maura carrying their luggage Jane was immediately overwhelmed by the beauty of that little house. It wasn't a fancy house in the Hampton's, but a modest, warm and welcoming cabin with wooden floor and antique furniture.

"So do you like it?"Following Jane into the living room taking the deepest breath possible Maura immediately felt home. Looking around she immediately remembered the summer vacations her family took there when she was little before she was sent to boarding school.

"Yeah, it's gorgeous Maura. I never really thought your family would posses a house that…rustic." Jane joked perfectly aware of the Isles' expensive and modern tastes.

"Please follow me. Well My grand father built this house for my grand mother to celebrate their ten years' anniversary. The legends says that my grand mother told him that she wanted him to give her a present that would last for ever just like their love would but that she didn't want something fancy but rather something made with his own hands that came from his heart." Maura explained walking towards the master bedroom.

"I bet she didn't expect that."Stepping into the large bedroom Jane was immediately drowned towards the large window with a direct view on the lake below them.

"Yes. I think she actually expected him to draw a portrait of them since he was such a gifted artist. Luckily for my grand father she wasn't mad at him for doing something that crazy which actually took him a year of work to accomplished. He designed the house by himself and built him with his own hands with the help of some of his closest friends. There are only two bedrooms, this one and another one next to the kitchen, it's small but it's probably my favorite place among all our properties."Maura explained leaving the suitcases at the end of the kingsize bed before joining Jane at the window.

"I can see why,I love it. Thank you for bringing us here. How about you feed our little guy here who seems to be starving while I unpack our stuff and prepare us some lunch?"Handing Louis to Maura Jane knew that her fiancee was still punishing herself for what was happening and new that the best remede was to spend some quality time with their son.

"Sure but please be careful not to unfold anything just put everything in the drawers very carefully instead of throwing them okay?"

"Yes mom."

For the next hour Jane left Maura in the bedroom with their son while preparing lunch checking up on them from time to time. She knew that that forced vacation was the perfect opportunity to work on Maura's guilt and to convince her that she did what was right for their family. Actually she was convinced that being away from their friends and family was a blessing in disguise, that it would allow them to focus on each other and to enjoy being a family away from the drama and their busy live in the city.

As Jane was cleaning her hands and was about to call Maura so they could finally get some lunch someone knocked on the door :

"Detective, I just wanted to let you know that we checked the surrounding and you and your family are safe. We will be outside if you need us, another team will replace us tonight. Don't hesitate to call if you need anything." Standing in front of her was one of Doyle's men, a white male in his 40's about 6 feet tall with a scar on his face.

"This must be killing you right?I mean having to protect one of Boston's finest who's probably gonna put you in jail in the future."Jane smirked, corner smile on her mouth.

"I only do what I'm told. Paddy Doyle tells me I have to protect you, Dr Isles and your son with my life and that's what I intend to do, now if you excuse me, I need to call him to inform him." The man politely said before turning around and going back to his car.

"Who was that?"Maura suddenly spoke coming out of the bedroom.

"It was one of Doyle's man. So how's our little prince?"Wrapping her arms around Maura's waist Jane was praying for their son to be sleeping so she could enjoy some private time with her.

"He's fed, changed and sleeping and now I'm the one who's starving."

"Good cause I just finished lunch, how about you settled in the couch while I bring everything?"

"Sure..."Walking towards the living room Maura was surprise to see that Jane had lit up a fire in the massive fireplace and had place perfumed candles all around it.

For the next 45 minutes the two women enjoyed a well deserved lunch, in silence.

"Well that was certainly a nice lunch, God I can't remember the last time we had lunch just the two of us without your parents or Ma..."

"I know, would you like me to ask my parents to leave?"

"Of course not, I know you love having them here and besides Louis loves having his grand pa around, don't worry about it. How about you and I enjoy ourselves while we're here and stop worrying about our familie or about Dean?"Moving closer to Maura gently attacking her neck, her hand on Maura's thigh.

"I don't know Jane. This is far from being a vacation, we need to be careful."

"Oh come on Maur' just relax alright. No one knows where we are and don't forget that we had two of Doyle's best men to protect us, not to mention that I have my gun so I think we should actually consider this as a well deserved vacation alright?"

"You're right, I don't want Louis to feel that we're worried or scared, that could seriously compromise his sleeping or eating patterns."

"And we wouldn't want that now would we, so do you have anything in mind as to how we could occupy our time?"Nervously smiling Jane realized that she had just opened Pandora's box, that now that Maura was finally agreeing to enjoy this little get away she was afraid that her beloved fiance might suggest something she wasn't sure she was ready for.

"Well let me see. What could two women who are madly in love do while their baby is deeply sleeping in the next room?"Maura teased wandering her fingers on Jane's arm feeling her shiver under her touch.

"I..I know it's been almost 3 months since last time we had sex but I'm not sure I'm ready Maura, I'm sorry."Burying her head in Maura's neck Jane was embarrassed. After spending months struggling with body issues due to her pregnancy and after struggling to accept her new body before allowing Maura to even touch her she felt like she was back at square one, scared, unable to satisfy her fiancee.

"Oh Jane, it's alright we don't have to do anything you don't feel ready for, I can wait, what I'm wondering though is if you're still in pain?"

"Not really, as the Doctor mentioned last week I'm healing properly but it's still burns a little when I pee but other than that it's more of a discomfort you know if I sit down for too long or try to lift heavy stuff you know. "

"Then we'll wait. How about we watch some tv, I'm sure they must be some completely unrealistic and poorly written soap on the air right now." Bending over to reach out for the remote Maura was a bit disappointed but understood that healing after giving birth was a slow process both physically and emotionally.

"No, I want to try, come on we can take the other bedroom while Louis is taking his nap."Suddenly standing up grabbing Maura's hand Jane was determined not to act like a scared teenager and to trust Maura to be gentle and not to hurt her.

"Jane...really it's alright. I told you I don't mind waiting a bit longer, there are many things you and I can do."

"I know but I want to, I mean I really need to see those...in person and touch and taste them." Jane joked staring at Maura's enlarged breasts.

"I see, so you don't really want us to make love, you just want to touch my breasts because they're enlarged since I started breast feeding?"Poking Jane's belly Maura was trying to hide how nervous she truly was.

The truth was that Jane and her had only had sex while Jane was pregnant and she was worried that without her hormones to increase her arousal she might not be able to satisfy her.

"Yeah, I totally almost married you for those breasts..Come on let's get more comfortable."Dragging Maura towards the smaller bedroom situated next to the kitchen Jane was suddenly feeling more confident. She knew that she had no reason to be nervous, that Maura loved and respected her enough to be careful and that she knew her body enough to know where her limits were.

A few minutes later Jane and Maura found themselves laying in bed next to each other, kissing, wandering their fingers on each other's backs.

Laying on her left side her hand slid under Jane's t shirt Maura was trying to act as natural as possible and to hide her anxiety. Gently blowing kissing on Jane's jaw all the way to her ear lobe Maura slowly climb on top of her trying not to hurt her.

"Easy tiger, how about we strip down before you eat me alive?"Jane smiled amazed by Maura's burning desire.

"Sure..."Nodding as she helped Jane take off her clothes Maura was immediately amazed by how in shape Jane was. She had given birth to their son only 5 weeks ago but was almost as slim as she used to be before she got pregnant.

Sitting up in bed as she allowed Jane to undress her as well Maura started to roam her fingers on Jane's beautiful breasts gently tickling her nipples with her her thumb.

Feeling those fingers she had missed for so long Jane fell back on her pillow pulling Maura against her.

"You like what you see?"Maura smiled noticing Jane's eyes on her breasts.

"Yes I do."Smiling as she pulled Maura closer to her Jane started to feel aroused already. Feeling Maura's naked body pressing against her turned her on immediately.

Strangely Jane wasn't tensed or embarrassed by her stretch marks or the baby weight she hadn't lost yet. Looking up at the woman who had gaven her everything she had always dreamed of Jane felt beautiful, even sexy.

Kissing Jane tenderly wandering her fingers on Jane's breasts, all the way to her belly Maura was uncertain of what to do. Up until now things had always been so natural and she had always been able to tell what Jane needed but now that Jane wasn't pregnant anymore she didn't know what her needs were anymore.

Unwilling to show her discomfort and insecurities Maura broke their passionate kiss and started to blow kisses on Jane's breasts drawing circles around her erected nipples.

"Oh boy, I almost forgot about that..."Jane muttered arching her back at the new stimulation.

"And I almost forgot how great you taste baby, just relax alright?"Maura smiled quickly rising her head before continuing stimulating Jane's breasts.

Feeling Jane's chest rising high and falling more slowly at every flick of her tongue Maura slowly started to drag her tongue all the way down to Jane's belly.

Feeling Maura tongue tickling her belly Jane closed her eyes and simply tried to enjoy herself, parting her legs to show her that she was ready to take things further.

Blowing kisses on Jane's firm stomach Maura smiled at Jane's invitation and gently dragged her fingers towards Jane's folds.

"You're barely..."Gently brushing Jane's entrance with her finger tips Maura was surprised to see that Jane was barely wet yet which was unusual.

"I know baby, but we just started, just continue what you were doing and we'll get there."Jane replied stroking Maura's hair with her fingers. Unlike Maura she wasn't worried at all and knew that it might take a bit longer than usual for her to get in the mood considering it was the first time they were trying to make love since she had given birth.

"I don't understand, you're usually already soaked by the time I get between your legs. Just feeling my body against yours and my tongue on your breasts and on your belly is usually enough to arouse you."Maura frowned trying to understand what she could have done wrong.

"Oh baby, look at me. It's the first time we try since I gave birth, my body has changed not to mention that I was overwhelmed with those damn hormones so now we need to adjust and adapt to those changes..." Cupping Maura's face Jane pouted trying to reassure Maura who knew was overwhelmed by her insecurities and doubts regarding her abilities as a mother and a wife.

"Are you saying that it was your hormones that aroused you and not me?"Maura hissed shocked and hurt by Jane's words.

"No, this is not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that we started dating and making love when I was pregnant and because I was bigger and because of those hormones things were different alright?You're the one who turned me on and made me come so hard that I thought I was going to pass time on multiple occasions." Bitting the inside of her cheek Jane suddenly realized how her words came out off her mouth completely wrong and could see she had hurt Maura.

"Don't try to BS me Jane, you can say it. I failed you and our son as a mother and wife by not protecting you and putting you in danger and now I'm failing as a lover."Pushing Jane away before sitting on the edge of the bed Maura closed her eyes and tried to hold her tears.

"Maur'...I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings alright. You are not a failure, God you're the most incredible thing that ever happened to me and to our son, without you I would be...God after Hoyt or the shooting I probably wouldn't have survived without you and when I think about it our relationship and our family are without a doubt my two biggest success in life."Sliding towards Maura snaking her arms around her Jane had a feeling that it would take more than a little vacation to make Maura stop putting herself down like that. Making Maura stop blaming and hating herself was probably gonna be the toughest challenge they ever faced.

"I think I should go check on Louis, it's his first nap here and he might not be completely comfortable by himself."Maura said as she grabbed her shirt and pants, quickly putting them own before walking towards the door.

"Maur!"Looking around for her clothes Jane wasn't able to understand Maura's behavior. Yes she wasn't completely turned on but they had only been trying for a few minutes and she couldn't understand why she was making such a big deal out of it. Well actually Jane knew, she knew that under other circumstances Maura wouldn't have been offended and would have continued to try to arouse her but considering her already overwhelming feeling of being a failure, not being able to turn her on as fast as she used to was perceived as another failure.

Stepping in the master bedroom after giving Maura a few minutes to compose herself Jane found her fiance curled in fetal position. Without a word Jane simple climbed in bed snaked herself around her, closed her eyes and hold her as tight as she could. Maura was facing one of the toughest period in her life and she needed Jane to be supportive, patient and understanding and after all she had done for her over the past 10 months Jane ws determined to do everything in her power to help her.

**So guys, I know Maura over reacted. I mean she couldn't expect Jane to be soaked after only a few minutes right?Well I think that if before she gave birth Jane was turned on only by being kissed and touched the way Maura did in this chapter I can understand Maura's disapointment. I mean yes she over reacted, but not being able to satisfy Jane the way she used to before all that drama happened just confronts her in her feeling of being a failure. I hope it makes sense to all of you. **

**This chapter is a bit strange, can you tell me what you thinK?Do you get my point?**


	30. Planning the future

**Chapter 30:**

**Planning the future :**

The two women laid still for half an hour until Maura was finally feeling better and felt able to talk.

"I'm sorry for causing such a scene and for making a fool of myself."Maura finally spoke flipping over to face Jane.

"Nah, don't worry about it, you're cute when you're making a fool of yourself."Jane teased in a desperate attempt to bring a smile on her face.

"Jane! I'm serious."Maura replied rising her voice immediately covering her mouth as not to wake Louis up.

"I know darling, come on, talk to me…"

" I know I over reacted and that my reaction was irrational, that arousal doesn't happen that easily, that it's usually something that takes time and that you have to work for it. It's just…"

"That when I was pregnant I was turned on easily…"

"Yes and I know that your arousal was increased by your hormones and I knew that after giving birth things wouldn't be as easily but I saw it as another failure."

"It wasn't. It's true that my hormones drove me nuts and that I was horny all the time but it was you, your hands, your lips that turned me on and gave me so much pleasure, alright?"The truth was that things weren't easy for Jane during her pregnancy and her moods swings are now legendary : one moment she would wake Maura in the middle of the night because she wanted to have sex and the next day refusing to even kiss her. Luckily for her Maura as a Doctor understood and remained calm and supportive.

Now that Jane had given birth she was looking forward to things becoming more normal and to have a normal and healthy sex life with her believed fiancee.

"I know, I just feel so…inadequate. I feel that no matter how good my intentions are I always end up making the wrong decision or doing the wrong thing."

"Oh Maura, you…we talked about this, what you did, calling the attorney general and reporting Dean for his crimes was right thing to do. Actually you did your job, catching bad guys remember?"

"I know and besides being parent is about making decisions thinking we're doing the right thing even if it sometimes has unfortunate circumstances."

"Absolutely. Now can we please put this behind us?"Forcing herself to smile Jane had a feeling that this was far from over but knew that Maura needed reassurance and encouragement and being pessimistic wasn't going to help her.

"Yes. Actually how about we continue where we stopped?"Maura seductively offered as she slowly rolled on top of Jane and slid her hand under her t shirt.

"Oh dear, I wish we could but Louis has been asleep for almost two and a half hours now and I'm pretty sure he's going to wake up soon."Jane replied gently pressing her lips against Maura's.

"And let me make an educative guess : you are very very hard to satisfy when you're not overwhelmed by your hormones?"Smiling far from being discouraged Maura took this as a personal challenge. She was going to make Jane loose her mind sooner or later.

"Hey, looks who's talking!You're the one who's high maintenance not me!"Gently poking her fiancee Jane was glad that Maura was able to laugh about this whole situation.

"I'm not high maintenance what ever that means. I'm just very focused and determined and I know exactly what I want."The truth was that Maura had always planned her entire life : Med school, residency, fellowship, becoming the youngest chief medical examiner in the history of Massachusetts. Everything related to her professional life has been carefully planned and she had worked hard to reach her goals. Unfortunately when it came to her personal life Maura never made any plans, probably because she never thought she would ever meet someone that could accept and understand her and support her unconditionally like Jane does.

"And what do you want Dr Isles?"

"Well you gave me everything I ever wanted : love, support, a family, a son so once the adoption finally goes through and once we get married my life will be complete."

"I agree. Your lawyer said that we should get a court hearing before Christmas so in a couple of months the adoption should be finalized. As for the wedding, well once we're safe we could go to city hall and get married, no fuss. What do you think?"

"I think that would be a terrific idea. All my life I dreamed about having a fairy tale wedding but now that I'm an adult I realize that life always comes between us and our fantasies. I also realized that I do not need to wear an expensive dress and fancy shoes and invite half the city. All I need is you, our parents and closest friends, like you said, no fuss."The truth was that Maura had given up the idea of meeting prince charming until she met Jane and she helped her realize that life wasn't perfect and that appearances didn't matter, that what was important was that they loved each other, that it didn't matter if the Mayor wasn't the one to marry them or if they had a child outside of wedlock.

"I'm glad we agree because I'm not sure I would survive planning another wedding. Anyways speaking of our future, what about work?"Louis was now 5 weeks old and Jane had been on maternity leave for almost 4 months and as much as she enjoyed staying home and enjoying her new role as a mother, the lack of physical activity was seriously driving her crazy. She needed to go back in the field.

"Well I had time to consider it very very carefully and I decided to resign from my position."Taking a deep breath as she said those words out loud for the first time Maura was hoping that Jane would understand.

"Are you sure?I mean I know you said you wanted to take at least 6 months of maternity leave after I gave birth but resigning?"Her eyes wide opened Jane couldn't believe that the professionally ambitious and career driven Dr Isles would even consider putting a term to her career.

"Yes I'm sure. You know I spent my entire life studying, training, working hard , determined to make a name for myself without my parents' help. I wanted to prove to them that I could succeed without using our name and I did it. I became the youngest Chief Medical Examiner our state ever had but I realize now that I missed on so much. Now that we're together I don't want to miss on us, on our son. I want to wake him up every morning and put him to bed every night. I want to bring him to school every morning and help him with his homework after school. I don't want to miss on his life like my mother did because she was too busy working or traveling."

"Oh Maura. As much as I enjoy your mother you are nothing like her. I know you would never neglect us for your career."

"Maybe I'm nothing like her or maybe I am, I don't know. All I know is that all my life I have been doing my best to stay away from living people because I could never fit among them. That's why I became a Medical Examiner. I could have become a pediatrician or a surgeon but I choose the only medical speciality where I don't have to treat living patients. I don't want to be that person anymore Jane. I don't want to stay buried in my morgue anymore."Becoming a mother, finally being with Jane helped Maura realized what she had missed all those years, buried in her morgue doing her best to stay away from people. Now happier than ever she was eager to finally experience all those things that she never allowed herself to try because of her phobia of living human beings.

"Okay. I understand and I'm sure that Louis is going to love having you home all for himself but what happens when he goes to school ?I know you Maura, staying home all day by yourself is going to drive you nuts."

"You're right. I will have my hands full with him until he's old enough to go to pre school. After that my days won't be as busy. I suppose that once he starts pre school I will have to find an occupation. Maybe I could work for our family foundation or enroll in any other charitable organization."

"That sounds like a good plan but aren't you gonna miss being a Medical Examiner and catch bad guys?"

"Probably. I must say that working with you has been extremely fulfilling, and I'm grateful that you and your team agreed to bring me along on the field like you did but I think that I can find a way to use my medical knowledge to help people in many other ways."

"Alright darling. What ever you decide I will support you. Not sure how I feel about working with a new ME, but I'm sure I'll adapt."Jane replied rolling her eyes. The truth was that at first working with Maura was a challenge because the two women had two very different way of working : Jane was using her instincts and guts and was always acting so fast while Maura was always very cautious and only relayed on science which drove Jane crazy at first. Luckily for them as they got to know each other better they discovered that their differences was what made them such great friends and such an efficient team and Jane couldn't possibly imagine having to work with someone else but knew she needed to respect her desire.

"Don't worry I will make sure that my replacement is the best Medical Examiner possible and that she or he isn't too attractive of course."

"Come one, you know that you have nothing to worry about that. You're my one and only."Jane replied pulling Maura against her.

"I know. I…think our little guy is waking up now and I hear someone knocking at the door. Will you take care of Louis?"Bouncing out of bed Maura was finally relieved that she was able to talk to Jane about her desire to be a stay home mom and that she was so supportive.

"Sure. It's probably one of Doyle's guys." Jane groaned hoping that they wouldn't bother them on daily basis.

Walking towards the door playing with her engagement ring with her thumb Maura started to dream about the life her Jane and Louis were about to have once this all drama will be over. A life that she always dreamed about but never dared to hope for.

"Doyle, what are you doing here?"Opening the door Maura was surprise to see Patrick Doyle standing in front of her.

"Maura. May I come in?"Doyle asked a serious look on his face.

"Yes, sorry. Please come in. Jane would you come here for a minute please?"Closing the door behind Doyle Maura had a feeling that this wasn't a curtesy visit, that he hadn't travelled for 3 hours just to see if they settled alright.

"Doyle, what are you doing here?Is everything okay?"Jane asked stepping in the living room holding little Louis in her arms.

"Yes, everything is perfect. I see you settled down. How are things going?"Looking at the newly formed family Doyle was nostalgic, remembering him and Maura's mom holding her when she was a baby right before giving her away to the Isles.

"Things are going perfectly…"Maura smiled resting her head on Jane's shoulder.

"How about you?Do you have new information for us?"

"I do. It seems that Dean has been talking with a member of the Donnelly's family. I do not believe that any of the other families in Boston are aware of our affiliation." Doyle replied clenching both his fists trying to hide his anger knowing that Maura hated that part of him.

"Good so we only have one family of mobsters who want to kill Maura not the entire criminal population of Boston, that's a relief."Jane grinned sharing his anger.

"Yes. For obvious reasons it's not in their interest to share the information. By hurting Maura they're hoping to make me come out of the shadows and kill me and hopefully take over my operations. Don't worry though. I will not let anything happen to you or your baby. I promise you that."Observing Jane comforting Maura Doyle knew that the only way he had to protect Maura was to kill every single member of the Donnelly clan, one by one. Obviously he wished that he was able to say the right words or even hold her in his arms but she knew that the of them would probably never have this kind of relationship and that the only way to protect her was to be this monster she hated.

"Alright. Even if I have a small idea of what you're going to do I don't want you to tell me, I'm still a cop you know, but I trust you."As hard as it was for Jane to admit it Doyle was the only one capable of protecting her family. She knew that Boston PD would never be able to completely eradicate the threat, that no matter how many members of the Donnelly's clan they would put behind bars they would always be at least one remaining to threaten them. She knew that Doyle was the only one who had the power and means to get rid of them permanently and she didn't care what he was going to do to achieve that.

"Don't worry about it. I haven't given the orders yet but it shouldn't take long. Actually I came to see you for something else. I want to know how you want me to handle the "Dean" situation."Doyle asked looking Jane straight in the eyes knowing that despite being a cop she was willing to do everything to keep her family safe even something horrible unlike Maura who probably didn't believe that hurting Dean was the answer.

"Don't you dare have him killed!"Maura replied rising her voice pointing her finger at him.

"Maura, calm down. If he wanted to have him killed he would have the minute he found out what he did. He's here to ask us what we want to do."

"Jane is right. I know you hate me for being that cold blooded killer and I wish things could be different. I would love nothing more than being able to be there the day you finally get married to walk you down the aisle or to see my grand son grow up but I know it's not possible. I tried to stay away as long as I could but I always knew that the truth would come on eventually and now I have to do what I have to do to protect you Maura. I know you don't agree with my methods and that's why I'm here, because I do not want to do anything that would make you hate me more than you already do, if that's even possible."

"I appreciate the curtesy."Maura mumbled surprised to see a softer side of Doyle. Ever since she found out who she was she had hated him for being a cold blooded killer but there was still something that attracted her to him, a kindness that she didn't knew existed in people of his kind. As hard as she was trying to hate him she couldn't help but remembering that he has been watching over all her life and probably witnessed more important moments of her life than her parents, not to mention that he was willing to risk his life to protect her.

"Can you break his legs?Both of them?"Jane asked biting her bottom lip.

"Jane!You can not be serious, you are a Detective not a criminal. You can not take justice in your own hands, certainly not the way he does, you hear me!"

"Yes. I'm nothing like him, no offense. I hate Dean for what he's doing to us but he's going to spend a long time in jail for stealing that money. His life is over anyway and I don't want to have to think or talk about him ever again. I want to put this behind us. So Doyle, please don't do anything. He's an FBI agent and once his inmates found out, I'm pretty sure his life is gonna be worse than hell so don't worry about it, we're good."

"Alright. Wise decision. Hate is a powerful thing and ending someone's life is not a decision you want to live with, trust me. Well I should get going. I will keep you informed."Walking towards the door Doyle was amazed by how forgiving and pure Maura and Jane was and that despite of being threatened by Dean they were refusing to lower at his level and use violence as a answer.

"Would you like to hold him?"Seeing Doyle's leave Maura suddenly felt this need to thank him in her own way.

"I would love to, if Detective Rizzoli doesn't mind of course."

"Of course not. Be careful he just woke up and he's a little groggy ." Jane replied gently handing her precious child to Doyle.

"He's …he's beautiful, you really did a great job, both of you."Slightly jiggling Louis from side to side Doyle was proud, proud to see that despite her heavy past his daughter had turned out to be an incredible woman and that she was living the life he always hoped for her.

"Jane did all the heavy lifting."Her right arm wrapped around Jane's waist looking at Doyle holding their son Maura was moved.

All she ever saw of Doyle was pictures of crime scenes, of bodies he had mutilated but there was more to him. Behind this cold killer Irish mob lord was a man who loved her and who had spent the past 35 years watching her from a distance making sure she was safe. All her life Maura had seen criminals as being insensitive and without a soul but for the first time she realized that criminals were also sons, brothers, fathers and that despite their bad choices could still truly care for their families.

Obviously knowing Doyle truly cared for her and was willing to give his life to protect her and Louis didn't change who he was but it somehow helped her see him in a different light and she was hoping that some day she would finally be at peace with who he was and where she came from.

**Alright guys, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

**I know that Jane's decision not to have Dean kill was predictable but to me it was the only way not to have Maura feel even more guilty about her actions.**

**Anyway what do you think about Maura's decision to resign?Does it make sense?I think I'm gonna write about their family life a bit, should be fun.**

**I also wanted to show a more human side to Paddy Doyle. I know he's a cold blooded killer but he loves Maura and by asking them how they wanted ot hanle Dean he showed that he's not as cold as we think and it clearly shows that he's trying to make peace with Maura.**

**Anyway, as always ideas for the next chapters are welcome!**


	31. It was meant to be

**Chapter 31:**

**It was meant to be :**

Later that day after spending the afternoon enjoying themselves down at the lake despite the cold weather Jane and Maura put little Louis to bed, lit the fireplace and crawled under a warm blanket.

"God it feels good to be able to chill out without being scared that Ma might barge in."Jane sighed pulling the blanket up on Maura's shoulders.

"I agree, as much as I love your mother having her and my parents home with us has been rather overwhelming and I'm glad that we get to spend some time together."

"Well your parents won't stay in the guest house for ever. I think they wanted to stay until the wedding and until I gave birth. I'm pretty sure that if they want to stay in Boston longer they're gonna move to their mansion."

"Yes, my mother mentioned it a few days back. She said that staying in our guest house was more practical during the planning of the wedding but that now that Louis is born and that we finally have our little routine in place my father and her were thinking about moving to our mansion."

"See, now all we need to do is get rid of my mother."

"Jane!That is no way to treat your mother!After everything she has done for us and for you for the past 35 years!"Despite knowing that Jane was right, that at some point they would have to ask Angela to move out Maura was slightly uncomfortable with the idea of asking Angela to move out.

"I'm sorry but you have to admit that now that we're parents and almost married having my mother around is kinda creepy. I know you love her and that the two of you became really close since she moved in but the circumstances have changed and I think it's time for her to move out."

"I know Jane. At first I offered her to move in with me because I know she was in financial trouble after divorcing your father but it quickly became more than that. She really became a great companion to have dinner and laugh with you know. But I understand that now that we're a family we need our privacy. "

"Exactly, don't worry we'll find a nice place for her to live in and you know her , there is nothing that can keep her away from her grand son so you're still probably gonna see her everyday anyway."

"I know. You know my family owns several buildings in Boston so I'm going my dad if we have any apartments without tenants. I'm sure we're going to find her a very nice place not too far from our house."

"What did I ever do to deserve such a generous and selfless woman?"

"It's the least I can do Jane, your mother has always been like a surrogate mother to me."

"I know, oh you know what we should do?We should do something that will actually help her realize that it's time for her to give us our privacy. That way we won't feel guilty by asking her to leave."

"And how do you suggest we can manage that?"

"Well there is only one thing that can embarrass my catholic italian mother, let me show you."Suddenly kissing Maura's neck as she gently slid her hand under Maura's top Jane was determined to make the most of this time they had together.

"Jane, what are you doing?"Maura giggled feeling the tip of Jane's tongue tickling her neck.

"I…am making the most of the time we have."Jane muttered blowing kisses on Maura's neck, dragging her tongue all the way to her chest.

"Alright, alright."Clenching her fists on the arm on the couch, arching her back at the new sensation Maura wasn't about to complain, she been missing Jane's touch for months and was finally going have her patience rewarded.

"You can not imagine how long I have been dreaming of making love to you without my belly coming between us or keeping me for moving freely. So just lay back and enjoy the ride." For the few months they were able to have sex before it became impossible due to Jane's pregnancy the two women were force to adapt to the situation and to find positions that weren't hurting Jane or the baby and that were comfortable. Now they were finally able to follow their imagination and realize their deepest fantasies free of any restrain.

"I know…"Even if making love to a very hormonal and pregnant Jane was an extraordinary experience and even if she enjoyed her changing body Maura was happy that they finally had the opportunity to make love the way they wanted without having to compromise.

Throwing the blanket on the floor pulling Maura a bit lower on the couch Jane kneeled in front of her and started to open the silk pajama top she wearing, one button at the time.

Dragging her tongue between her breasts Jane could feel hear and feel Maura's breathing become more erratic and new that after such a long period of abstinence it probably wouldn't take long to send her over the edge.

Opening Maura's top Jane immediately reached out for her left breast with her hand while dragging her tongue towards her right breast.

Gently tickling Maura's right nipple with the tip of her tongue Jane immediately felt it erect under her touch.

Gently pinching Maura's left nipple with her fingers Jane could feel Maura's chest rise and fall in rhythm with the flicks of her tongue.

"Jane…"Maura panted stroking Jane's hair with her fingers.

"I know, patience my love, patience." Smiling at at Maura's rising excitement Jane started to drag her left hand on Maura's belly all the way down to her pants.

Gently pulling Maura down on the thick carpet a few feet away from the fireplace Jane wanted to make sure they were both as comfortable as possible.

Climbing on top of Maura letting her fingers continue their quest towards the inside of her pants Jane continued kissing her breast almost attacking them.

Lying on her back feeling Jane's hand approaching her pants and her tongue drawing circle around her nipples Maura could sense the warmth streaming down her folds. She was already wet and wanted to beg Jane to more on faster but knew that her fiancee wanted to take her time.

Finally reaching her belly button Jane without hesitation slid her hand inside her Maura's pajama immediately feeling the warmth streaming on her legs.

"Oh Jane…"Feeling Jane's finger tickling her entrance Maura immediately parted her legs a bit wider making it clear to her lover that she was waiting and expecting more.

"You're so wet for me baby. I'm going to make you come so hard that you're going to pass out."Jane smirked completely confident in her abilities to make Maura scream her name.

Roaming her mouth on Maura's torso all the way licking the drops of sweet with the tip of her tongue Jane suddenly felt her rising her hips as she tried to take off her pajama.

"Your clothes need to go as well."Maura said as she pulled down her pants, throwing them away.

"You're right."Jane nodded as he quickly took of her t shirt and pants throwing them away as well.

Literally sitting on top of Maura naked looking down at her Jane could see all the love and devotion in her fiancee's eyes.

"You're so beautiful. I love you."Maura smiled as she cupped both Jane's breasts gently rubbing her already erected nipples with her thumb.

"I love you too baby. But this is not about me, it's about me, so just relax and enjoy yourself."Pulling Maura's hands away Jane was determined to make this about Maura, not about her and to give herself to her fiancee until she couldn't breath anymore.

"Alright."

After leaning over to kiss her tenderly Jane dragged her tongue all the back to Maura's entrance.

Giving Maura's clitoris a quick flick Jane immediately felt her arching her back.

For the past several months Maura had literally took care of her, emotionally, physically, accommodating her life around Jane's needs and desire without ever complaining or asking of anything in return.

Tonight Jane was determined to give Maura back all that love and pleasure without sparing any efforts.

Both her arms strongly holding Maura's legs Jane started to gently lick Maura's clitoris.

As eager as she was to see and feel Maura come into her mouth Jane wanted to make this marvelous moment last as long as possible. So she gently continued to stimulate her as softly as possible drawing very slow circles around her swollen clitoris.

Feeling her tongue literally devouring her Maura rose her hips against her hips against Jane's mouth hoping that she would intensify her movements.

"Not so fast, I'm going to take my time."Strongly pulling Maura's hips down on the carpet Jane smiled and continued licking every drop of warmth coming off her folds.

"I…I want to look at you in the eyes when I come."Almost begging Maura would feel she was closed and wanted to look at Jane straight in the eyes she finally let go.

"Alright darling."Making her way up Jane feeling Maura's skin against her was finally able to experience close contact with her without her growing belly between them.

"Oh Jane, the things you do to me…."Maura panted immediately snaking her legs around Jane's waist pulling her against her.

"About that, tell me Dr Isles, what do you want me to do now?"Kissing her fiancee, gently biting her bottom lip Jane had a feeling that things were about to get more intense.

"I…I want you to fuck me."Maura almost beg leaving her good manners aside.

"What's the magic word?"Amused by Maura's obvious desperation Jane was determined to tease her a bit and to make her work for it.

"NOW!"Bucking her hips rubbing her inner thighs against Jane's legs Maura made it really clear that she wasn't willing to play anymore, that she needed her right now.

"Alright sweetheart. I'm going to fuck your brain out."Smirking down at there fiancee Jane without previous warning slid her right hand between Maura's leg and thrusted on finger, then two inside of her.

Bucking her hips in appreciation Maura started to follow Jane's thrusts slowly at first and then faster and faster.

Thrusting in and out of Maura's wet core Jane started to use her hips to make things more intense trying to be in sync with Maura's hips.

"Oh Jane…just like that. I'm closed."Pressing her hips against Jane's hands helping her to thrust deeper Maura was almost over the edge and knew that a simple touch could send her off.

Smiling Jane thrusted a third finger inside of her as deep as she possibly could using her hips to go deeper.

Feeling Maura was almost there Jane on top of thrusting in and out of her started to tickle her clitoris very very softly.

"Oh Jane..I…."Her legs still wrapped against Jane's waist Maura suddenly pulled her against her as hard as she could.

"Come for me baby."Looking Maura's straight in the eyes Jane kept her tree fingers inside Maura's folds but stopped thrusted to pay more attention to her clitoris.

Feeling Maura was about to come she continued to gently stroke her clitoris until she felt Maura's inner muscles tightening around her fingers trapping her fingers inside of her.

"Oh GODDDDD."Arching her back as she felt a violent spams running through her entire body Maura's head was panting, her breathing was short and her throat dry. Her entire body trembling under Jane's touch Maura's inner muscles continue to clench and release, clench and release for what felt like an eternity.

Her fingers literally trapped inside her fiancee Jane was enjoying the sensation of Maura's inner muscles contracting around her.

Kissing Maura's sweating chest Jane could not believe that she was engaged to be married to such a perfect and gorgeous woman.

Falling back on the thick carpet Maura after a long, blind blowing orgasm was finally calming down and trying to catch her breath.

Feeling Maura's inner muscles slowly relaxing feeling the warmth streaming down her hand Jane was amazed by how wet Maura was. Never in the past time they had made love she had seen her so wet and felt her come so hard. Gently pulling out before collapsing on her gorgeous fiancee had a feeling that the next 50 years were indeed going to be fulfilling and full of surprises.

"I love you."Resting her head on Maura's burning chest Jane was lacking words to describe as she felt.

"I love you too."Kissing the top of Jane's head feeling her body on top of her Maura wrapped her arms around her and started wandering her fingers on her back.

Lying on the expensive carpet the two women remained silence still overwhelmed by their recent love making session the two women were alone in the world.

Closing their eyes as they tried to recover they had a feeling that such an intense experience was only possible if there was deep and sincere love and were convinced that no matter how bad things might be in the future they were meant to be together, that as long as they sticked together there was no ex lover, serial killer of corrupted cop that could take them apart. They knew that this was only the beginning of their new life together and could not wait to spend the rest of their life exploring , surprising each other and discovering new things about each other everyday.

Yes if they was one thing the two women were convinced off it was that they would never get bored, not with a son to raise, not with that burning desire that brought them to almost faint a few minutes earlier.

Life wasn't easy and they hated having to hide from Doyle's enemies but life was good and would continue to be cause it was written. Dr Maura Isles and Detective Jane Rizzoli were meant to meet and to fall madly in love and to start a family, no matter what the odds said, it was just meant to be.

**Alright guys, well as you know I don't feel comfortable with sex chapters but this was good...right? Enough said…next chapter…is a surprise(a complete weird awkward post coital conversation that was fun to write lol)**

**As you know reviews encourage me to write more sexy chapters:)**

**thanks**


	32. Post coital awkwardness

**This chapter is a bit ...different but I had fun writing it and I hope you'll have fun reading it.**

**Chapter 32 :**

**Post coital awkwardness :**

The two women laid naked on the thick carpet in silence for a while. Jane's head resting on Maura's chest listening to her heart beats while drawing small circles around her nipples with her index.

"You find them fascinating don't you?"Maura smirked asked kissing Jane's forehead perfectly aware of the power her breasts had on Jane and on men.

"Yes I do. For a long time I wondered if they were real but now I know that they are and they're perfect : their size, color, texture and your nipples are perfect ."Jane replied gently kissing Maura's left breast.

"Oh and I suppose and you're basing this assessment on a vast comparative study?"Maura frowned straitening up a bit leaning on her forearms.

"Oh yeah, I had the pleasure to get my hands on many many tits over the years."Jane replied feeling that her little tease had the effect she wanted on her fiancee.

"Is that right?"

"Oh yeah, I have touched all sorts of tits, large, smalls,real, fakes,of difference shapes and colors and texture…"

"Alright alright, enough!From now on my breasts are the only one you're allowed to touch, look at or even think about, are we clear?"Slightly groaning Maura, despite knowing Jane was joking had trouble hiding her jealousy was determined to affirm her ownership over Jane.

"I'm just kidding. You know I was never into women before I met you but I can tell they're real. I think I would be able to feel it if you had implants right?"Jane asked narrowing her eye brows as she gave Maura's left breast a quick squeeze.

"Yes you would. Even a non trained professional can feel a difference while touching a non natural breast. You know I find yours particularly gorgeous. I love how they fit in my hands perfectly, like if they were meant to belong to each other."Maura smiled cupping Jane's breasts.

"Yeah, I guess they're alright. I can't wait until they come back to their original size though, I prefer them smaller."Looking down at her breasts as she was literally sitting on Maura's laps Jane was in perfect harmony with her body for the first time in her life. She wasn't trying to hide her body and felt comfortable to stay naked in plain light regardless of her stretch marks or her extra pounds.

"So you prefer your breasts small but mine large?"Maura asked shaking her head in confusion.

"Yes. Ever since I got pregnant they have been a pain in my butt more than anything else because they're so sensitive you know but yours are even more gorgeous since you have been breast feeding. Actually I can not wait until you get pregnant because I'm sure that they're going to be even more spectacular." Biting her lower lip Jane was awaiting for Maura's reaction. Louis was a complete surprise that they never planed or expected and even if they had made many plans for their future they never talked about having more children.

"When I get pregnant?"Maura mumbled her face lightening up instantly.

"Hum yeah. I know we never discussed it but I know you've always wanted to be a mother."Jane replied quickly covering them up with the blanket.

"Yes but I already realized that dream, thanks to you." Maura replied pressing her lips against Jane's.

"You're welcome. What I meant is that let's face it you're the maternal one not me and I always pictured you pregnant, glowing, enjoying every single minute of it, especially since we had that case involving this baby and this crazy nurse. The way you put yourself between her and the baby, a real mama bear. You're a born mother Maura."

"Thank you. I don't know what passed through my brain at that moment. I think it was my instinct telling me I needed to protect that child. You're right I always wanted to have a child and I'm glad that we have Louis, he's so precious."

"He is but being pregnant is such a terrific experience and I want you to know what it feels like to feel your child growing inside of you."

"So do I. As much as I love Louis and as bonded as we are I would really love to experience being pregnant. "

"Alright then when the time comes I will be more than happy to have another child with you."

"When?"Maura asked clapping her hands , the biggest smile on her face.

"Not now for sure. I just gave birth and we need to settle down a bit you know, get used to being parents, not to mention that we're finally getting married soon and to be honest I want to enjoy you a bit before we try to get pregnant again. "

"You're right. We have been so much over the past 10 months that we deserve to rest and just enjoy our family before jumping in this adventure. You know IVF is a procedure that can be long and painful both physically and emotionally and right now what I want is just enjoy you and Louis."

"Exactly, we'll talk about it once he goes to pre school. How does that sound?"Saying those words knew that Maura wouldn't forget this conversation and that she would probably bring up the subject the day Louis enters pre-school.

"That sounds like a perfect plan."Sitting up against the couch snuggled against Jane Maura was tasting a bit of that heaven she had been dreaming about ever since she had met Jane and fallen in love with her.

"Well, not that I don't enjoy feeling that carpet scratching my ass but how about we go to bed now?"

"Oh no, no, no. Just give me a minute and I'll be happy to reciprocate."

"Nah, I'm alright. As I said the past 10 months have been about me but tonight was about you. Now come on let's get to bed."Jane said standing up pulling Maura up in the process.

"Alright, but let me at least take a shower. I'm all sweaty not to mention, well I'm still pretty swamped."A disgusted look on her face Maura could literrally feel the warmth still streaming off her folds.

"Alright, alright, but just so you know you're still beautiful, even when you're all sweaty and dripping wet. Actually you smell and taste so good I would not mind taking another sip."Jane replied pulling her against her licking her lips in anticipation.

"This is by far the most unusual post coital conversation I have ever had."Never in her life Maura had had a partner she was comfortable enough to talk about her body or her sexuality that openly. Not only Jane and her were able to talk about work, their parents, their fears and dreams or making plans for their future but they were also able to talk about very intimate things that someone with Maura's education would have never considered bringing up.

"Well we both are pretty unusual."Jane replied battling her eye lashes.

"Yes we are. How about you join me in the shower?Not that mind your post coital sent but I don't think I will be able to behave myself in bed if you don't get rid of it."Dropping the blanket on the floor revealing her naked body Maura knew that they were indeed a very unusual couple and that now that things were finally calming and settling down their life together was indeed going to be very interested and she couldn't wait to discover new pleasures and sensations with Jane.

**So guys I know this chapter was weird, I mean them talking about tits, sweat and being dropping wet was awkward but I think it was funny, not to mention they talked about having a second child. I think they're actually so comfortable with each other that they would joke about their tits etc...**

**Thank you guys for the support, at first I wanted to make this all story about Jane being pregnant and them being together and facing Dean etc... But thanks to your encouragements I have lots of ideas :)**


	33. Doyle's sacrifice

**I realized that it was a bank holiday yesterday so most of you must have missed it so I repost this chapter :)**And as usual it's up to to you to tell me if I should continue!****

**Well thank you guys for the reviews on last chapter. I didn't know how you were going to react...**

**Chapter 32:**

**Doyle's sacrifice : **

The next morning the happy family woke up early eager to make the most of the cold but beautiful day.

As she was cleaning the dishes looking out through the window Maura started to dreaming about how the rest of their lives were going to be like.

After spending years denying herself the right to dream about getting married to her true love and having children Maura now knew that it was okay to dream, that with Jane by her side anything was possible. Actually what made Maura the happiest was that Jane wanted to have another child in the near future. Obviously she knew that Jane loved their son but she knew that her pregnancy was an accident and never thought she would want a second child.

"See, Like I told you your mommy is day dreaming, your grand mother does that too but us Rizzoli we're more down to earth."Jane suddenly said laughing as she walked into the kitchen holding baby Louis in her arms.

"Ah ah ah…I was just thinking about…Oh my god, why in hell would you do such a thing?"Maura screamed in horror pointing out at the little sweater he was wearing.

"What?It's a sweater Korsak got him, it's a bit too big but I think he likes it. Do you think it's too warm just to stay inside?"

"You know that's not what I'm talking about : "_My mom is a BAMF_" Really Jane?"Narrowing her eyes brows both her fists clenched on both sides of her hips Maura made a mental note to talk to Korsak and all their friends to establish some rules regarding the gifts that were appropriate to give to her son.

"Oh come on Maur', don't you think I'm a Bad Ass Mother Fu…"

"Don't you dare finishing that sentence!Come on hand him over to me."Maura replied opening her arms.

"Alright, alright, but the sweater stays, please, pretty please with cherry on top?"Jane pouted as she gently handed the precious child to her.

"I…I'm sorry, I know how much every one loves him and I'm grateful for all the toys and clothes they bought us but there are some things that should be off limits. Don't you think Louis?See the his face?Looks like he agrees with me."

"I'm pretty that was gas but I agree. I will ask the guys not to buy him anything that explicit, but I'm warning you Frankie told me he's getting him a baseball jersey, cap and little matching shoes for Christmas so we can all watch games together in style."

"Considering I'm out numbered I suppose I have no choice but to agree but…"

"Let me guess next time we're having a girl so you can make her wear fancies dresses and nice polished shoes and braid her hair like she's some kind of doll ?"Jane replied smiling battling her eye lashes.

"Alright. I see your point here. Actually I can not wait until he's old enough to decide if he' s more of an Isles or a Rizzoli…"Maura grinned walking towards the living room.

"Speaking of that, have you decided if you want to take my name?"

"Not yet. I suppose the three of us should indeed have the same name and if you remember correctly we decided to name him Rizzoli-Isles a few month ago. I think the best compromise would be taking each other's name, that way we would have the same name and neither of us would have to give up hers."

"I think you're right but I don't know if I'm comfortable with a name that long how about Louis and I both take your name?"The truth was Jane didn't care much for a name she knew that her parents didn't expect her to keep it and that Frankie and Tommy would carry the Rizzoli name and that therefore it would never disappear.

"You…you would do that?"Maura mumbled feeling the tears rushing to her eyes.

"Yeah, I mean my parents don't expect me to keep my name cause if I had married a guy I would have taken his name right?Not to mention that Tommy and Frankie when they decide to grow up and settle down will carry it so it's not like it's going to disappear anytime soon you know."

"I suppose you're right. Actually as I explained a few months back when we first talked about it my dad is the last male in his family, both is brothers passed away years ago and they didn't have nay children so the Isles name is going to die with him. Actually considering my grand father was an only child, when my dad dies I will be the last Isles ."

"And we wouldn't want that now would we?"

"No, I would hate to see my name die with my father . Actually I remember having a conversation with him when I was dating Garrett Farfield and him asking me to keep my name behind his if we ever got married so our children would still carry the Isles name you know."

"I can understand how he feels, a name is much more important than what people say and your father is the kind of man who wants his name to be remembered in history. I can understand that."

"What about you Jane?I mean you're professionally known as Detective Rizzoli…"

"What do you think Louis, Jane and Louis Isles?Sounds perfect to me.I'll change my name after we get married and we'll amend his birth certificates once the adoption is finalized."

"Sounds perfect to me too. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Oh, I'll get that."Jane replied as she heard someone knocking at the door.

Watching her walking towards the door Maura could not believe that Jane would actually do something like that. She knew how proud Jane was and was expecting her to ask her to officially change her name to Rizzoli not the other way around.

"Hey, something wrong?"Opening the door Jane was once again face with one of Doyle's men. Over the past 3 days several duos had came to protect them and had been so careful that Jane and Maura barely noticed they were there and had actually almost forgot about them.

"No, everything is fine Paddy sent me to tell you that it's over and that you can go home. He also asked me to give you this. Please let us know when you're planning on driving back to Boston and we will escort you."The man said handing a large box to Jane avoiding eye contact.

"Alright. Thanks."Jane nodded closing the door as she watched him walk away.

"Did I hear properly?We can go home?"Maura said unable to hide her enthusiasm .

"Yes, looks like it . This is for you from Doyle." Jane said leaving the large box on the coffee table.

"Can you open it please?"

"Sure…" Jane nodded opening the large box revealing a blue baby blanket with a picture and a envelope.

"Looks like a picture of you and …wait a minute , that's not Constance. This looks like your biological mom Maura and her name is Hope…"Jane said looking at the back of the picture before handing it to Maura.

"I can not believe it…I look like her don't you think?"Looking down at the picture Maura couldn't help but feeling overwhelmed. For years she had wondered what her biological mother looked like and she had begged Doyle to tell her who she was, but he always refused.

"Yes you do, you have her eyes and this blanket she has you wrapped you in looks like the one in the box."Sitting next to Jane, gently rubbing her back Jane could see how happy she was and was proud of Doyle for finally giving her a piece of her past but had this feeling that he had a good reason to do that, reason that might not please them.

"Yes. What about the envelope?"

"There's a letter inside, want me to leave so you can read it?"

"No, but I would love you to read it to me, please."

Nodding Jane opened the enveloped and seeing the hand writing immediately guessed that it was a man's hand writing but was hoping it would bring Maura some closure:

_Dear Maura, If you read this letter it means that it's over, that you and your family are safe. I hope you like the blanket and that your son will enjoy sleeping in it as much as you did when you were a baby. __I'm sorry that I can not be here face to face to talk to you but I think it's better for all of us if I left town. _

_I realized that as long as I'll be in this business you and your family will be and danger, that the secret about our affiliation can not be hidden for ever. __That's why I decided to shut down my operations permanently. I do not want you to watch your son growing up scared that one of my rivals might find out the truth and hurt him to get to me. Your mom and I gave you up for adoption because we thought it was the best way to keep you safe but it wasn't , retiring and leaving town is the only way I have to keep you and your family safe._

_I hope that some day you will be able to forgive me for being who I am._

_I remember growing up watching my uncle, grand father and father ruling the streets of Boston terrorizing both criminals and innocent people and wanting to be just like them. I naively that those people respected them. Well that was until I met your mom. She was so young, and brilliant and she made me want to be a better man and I tried but when she got pregnant we both realized that no matter how hard I would try I would always have people wanting me dead and that the best way to keep you safe was to give you away._

_I watched you all your life Maura, from your first day in kindergarten to your Med School graduation and I followed your career and I will continue to do so until my last breath. __I know how much you want to meet your mom and I promise you that once things cool down a bit I will introduce her to you but right now it's too dangerous._

_The word that I'm shutting down my operations is gonna spread rapidly and my rivals are gonna try to take them over and it could possibly get dangerous for her and for me, that's why we decided to leave town for a while until things cool down._

_Don't worry though, the Donnelly's have all been taken care off and with me out of business I'm confident that you and your family are safe._

_Your mom and I will always be watching out for you but I have a feeling that we can trust that Detective of yours to protect you._

_I hope someday you will be able to tell your son that your biological father was more than a cold blooded killer but a man who loved you very much and who never felt prouder than the day he held him in his arms._

_Love always. _

"Wow, that's …deep. You're alright babe?"Closing the letter slipping it back in the envelope Jane immediately saw the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"He…he's leaving?"Laid back on the couch her son against her chest Maura could barely believe what Doyle had done.

"Yes and I agree with him, shutting down his operations is the only way to keep you safe permanently . Don't worry though he said that once the war over his succession is over he will come back so you can meet your mom, that's a great news right?"

"It is great news, it's just I never expected him to give it all away to protect me…"

"I know, me neither but people change and think that when he found out your mom was pregnant he really wanted to change and to be a better man but getting in the mob is easier than getting out except when you're the boss which he is now."

"I suppose you're right. Well I'm glad he decided to retire and that he took care of our little problem. Do you want to go back home today?"

"Actually I would love us to stay here until thanksgiving and enjoy ourselves, unless you want to go back to town."

"Actually I would love to stay another week, I might have enjoyed me but I haven't enjoyed you yet. Not for a lack of trying tough…"

"I know I'm sorry about the shower last night but it was so cold there I couldn't…But I'll make it up to you tonight, I promise."

"I expect nothing less. Now come on let's have a walk by the lake."

"Alright."

That day walking around the lake Louis in her arms and Jane by her side Maura couldn't help but thinking about Doyle's letter. Ever since she met him she always thought that he enjoyed being a moster, that he enjoyed the power and being feared by every single criminal in Boston but listening to Jane reading her that letter Maura realized that he might not have a choice. She had been on the job long enough to know that once in the organized crime it's impossible to get out of it alive. She knew that it was easy for young, lost and poor teenager to get into illegal activities and to get addicted to the power and easy money and to quickly without noticing it escalate to most serious crimes. Yes, after hating Doyle for being who he was she started to put herself in his shoes and realized that he may not have had the choice and couldn't help but admiring him for giving it all away for her. All she could wish for now was that once the war for his succession would be over he would come back and introduce her to her biological mom. She knew that she would never have a normal relationship with him and wasn't about to forgive his past crimes but somehow Doyle's sacrifice helped her seeing him differently and finally make piece with who she was and where she came from.

**So guys, what do you think?Admit it, you started by laughed your ass off because of the BAMF sweater and you ended up crying...**

**I'm also pretty sure that no one expected Jane to take Maura's name because it all the other stories as well it's usually the other way around, but I figured that it would be very symbolic to do things differently this time.**

**I know that I made Doyle nicer than he is but I can't help but liking him very much, don't know why. I think I can understand him a you listen to him he does seem trapped in his gangster life and it's obvious he wishes he could have been a normal dad but it's an endless spiral, once you enter the organized crime you never get out...Despite being a monster he truly loves Maura and gave his life(or almost) for her and he watched over for her all her life...**

**Anyway as I said I never expected this story to go that far but I have many ideas.**

**Feel free to throw ideas at me if you want! **


	34. Happy thanksgiving

**Chapter 34 :**

**Happy Thanksgiving :**

A week later after spending 10 days away from civilization Jane and Maura decided to drive back to Boston just in time for Thanksgiving.

"Alright young man, you're all set."Jane said checking Louis was comfortably and safely installed in his car seat.

Walking towards Maura who was standing a few feet away Jane couldn't help but noticing the sadness and nostalgia in her fiancee's eyes.

"I just need a minute and I will be ready."Maura said feeling Jane's arms around her waist.

"It's alright, we have time. You look sad, aren't you happy to go back home?"Jane asked kissing Maura's shoulder.

"I am because it means that we're safe, it's just I was starting to get used to live here, far from the city, just you me and our son."Leaning back against Jane Maura was less than enthusiastic to go back to the noise, pollution and professional duties that they had left behind seven days ago.

"I know but we can not stay here for ever. We have jobs, families and friends that are waiting for us to come back, but I promise we'll come back very soon, maybe for Christmas, just you and me, how does that sound?"Even if the past 10 days had been heaven for her Jane was eager to go back to the city. Unlike Maura who was of a very calm nature she always had this visceral need to do something, to be at the heart of the action. Obviously being here here doing nothing except making love and enjoying herself with her family was enjoyable but seven days at the time was the maximum she could handle without going nuts.

"For our honey moon?"

"Well yeah if you want but I thought you would prefer going to Hawaii or some other exotic place…"

"Nope, I would love nothing more to come here. I always loved this place but now I love it even more. We only spent a week here but we already have so many great memories to bring home with us."

"I couldn't agree more and I would be happy to take you back here for honey moon but right now we should really hit the road. Come on."Dragging Maura towards the car Jane wasn't willing to admit it but she was going to miss that place. For the past 10 days they finally had the opportunity to get to spend quality time just the three of them and even if she had missed her mom and the guys and to jump back in her very active life she knew she would be counting the days until their next vacations.

So the little family hit the road in silence still dreaming about the amazing week they had spent together wondering if things were going to be different at home.

"So anyway what do you think about saturday?I mean for the wedding…"Bitting her bottom lip Jane was wondering if Maura had changed her mind about getting married down at city hall, no fuss.

"Hum, it's thursday already but I suppose we could gather every one and get married on saturday. Actually our marriage license expires on monday."Maura replied realizing that their marriage licence was valid for 60 days would indeed expire on the following monday,

"Exactly my thought and considering that last time we waited for 4 hours in queue I would rather not go through this again but are sure you're okay with a small wedding? I mean you have been dreaming about having a fairy tale wedding since you were a little girl."Despite knowing that Maura didn't hold it against her Jane was still feeling guilty for giving birth on their wedding day, running weeks of careful planning and years of dreaming of the perfect wedding.

"I know but after everything that happened I realize that things rarely go the way we wish they did and that there are things far more important. All I want is to be your wife and to finally be recognized as Louis' mother. Nothing else matters."Maura replied gently squeezing Jane's thigh.

"Good. Don't worry about it too much remember what your lawyer said : he has all the paper work under control. All you will have to do is go under a home study with a social worker and talk to the judge and that is only a formality alright? Anyone who observes you and Louis for a few minutes can see what a gifted mother you are and how much he loves you."Knowing her fiancee Jane was glad that the social worker was probably visit them unannounced knowing how nervous she could get in those situations. She knew that despite knowing that there was rational reason for a judge to deny her the right to become Louis' legal parent she would obsess about it and probably end up making a foul of herself, hyperventilating a rambling about medical stuff or results of studies on homosexuals parents raising children. Luckily Jane knew that if Maura was caught by surprise she would probably wouldn't have time to over think things and would just be her wonderful self.

"I know, I know. Let's not talk about this now, it makes me too nervous. How about we focus on our first Thanksgiving together as a family?"Despite knowing that she matched every single criteria to become Louis' legal parent Maura had this irrational fear of not being considered good enough to be given that right but knowing how obsessing about something usually altered her behavior she chose not to think about it until the time came, or at least to try.

"Right, about that, how good is our home insurance?"

"Why?"

"Because my mother has probably been cooking since 6 am this morning and without you behind her to calm her down I'm scared that we might not recognize our kitchen."

"Oh…you're right your mother is rather messy when she cooks which is unusual because she's almost as obsessed with order and cleaning as my mother but I'm sure everything will be alright. Actually my mother sent me a message while you were loading the car and they're having lots of fun together."

"I'm glad to hear that. Actually I'm glad they get along so well, it will make things easier when we decide who will be in charge of taking care of Louis during our honey moon."

"Oh, you're right they are probably going to request taking care of him during our absence, both of them. Well they're both mature women and I'm sure they can find an arrangement as two civilized human beings."

"We're talking about my mother, my italian mother and her first grand child. Trust me if we don't decide for her she's going to fight, no matter how much she loves your mother but I'm sure we'll find a way to satisfy them both."

"Do you realize how surreal it is for us to talk about our mothers arguing about who is going to get custody of our son while we're on our honey moon?"The truth was that Maura was still unable to believe how invested in Louis' life both her parents were. She obviously expected nothing less coming from Angela but considering how distant her parents were with her she expected them to visit once or twice a year. Luckily for her ever since they found out they were going to be grand parents they realized that this was their chance to get closer to their daughter and were determined not to make the same mistakes twice. Now there wasn't a day that passed without a visit from them and Maura was enjoying it very much and was hoping her parents would stay in Boston permanently.

"I suppose it is surreal, but this is not a dream Maura and I'm willing to pinch you every morning for the rest of our lives to make you believe this is all real."Gently pinching Maura's waist Jane started to realize how lucky she had been with her parents. Obviously her mother was loud, nosy and overwhelming but she always knew that no matter what happened she was there for her to advice her or to help her in any situations. She always knew that when the day would come for her to have children Angela was going to be the greatest grand mother of all time and always felt confident that if anything happened on the job her kids would be well taken care of. Obviously she knew that Maura's relationship with her parents was different and was glad that becoming grand parents had opened their eyes and made them want to chance.

"I think I might need that yes. Thank you." Laying back on her seat closing her eyes Maura was happy, completely happy for the first time in a long time. After everything that had happened since Jane got pregnant, every obstacle they had to over come she was finally allowing herself to take a deep breath and enjoy her new life.

About three hours later the little family arrive at the Rizzoli-Isles residence, exhausted but happy to be home. Checking in the rear mirror the two women noticed that Louis was sleeping like an angel and tried to get out of the car as slowly and quietly as possible.

"He really looks like an angel don't you think?"Standing in front of her son, marveling at his beauty Maura was hesitant to pick up unwilling to wake him up.

"Yeah those are the one who should be more concern about, trust me, look at Tommy. He's charming an always used it to get away with everything."

"Well he's out of jail now and you should give him a chance, alright?"

"Yes Ma'am. So how about you bring him inside while I unload our luggage, unless you want to keep watching him for a while?" Jane joked kissing Maura's shoulder.

"No, I will watch him sleep later and besides it's time for his bottle. Come on sweetheart, let's go inside, it's freezing out here."Unbuckling the seat belt protecting his car seat before gently picking him up Maura knew that the minute they stepped into their house the vacations were over and that real life would take over.

Walking towards the door the little family could literally smell the turkey and pies Angela and Constance had spent the entire day cooking and after spending the afternoon on the road they were both starving.

"They're home, they're home. My baby is home!"Angela immediately yelled running towards them clapping in her hands.

"Yes Ma' we're home."Jane replied rolling her eyes.

"My baby, come here, I missed you."Angela pouted almost ripping Louis off Maura's arm.

"Thanks Ma, I missed you too." Jane mocked a bit hurt and jealous of not being the center of attention and the object of her mother's love.

"Oh, sweetheart of course I missed you both of you. Come inside dinner is almost ready."Angela replied walking away with Louis in her arms jiggling him gently from side to side.

Walking towards the kitchen the two women noticed that every one was already here : Korsak, Frost, Tommy, Frankie Jr and Maura's parents. The only one missing was Frank Sr who was still in florida with his new girlfriend. Actually Jane hadn't hear from him since the wedding but understood that coming at Thanksgiving wasn't a good idea, that her mother wasn't ready to spend an evening in his presence.

So that evening the entire clan sat around the delicious meal Maura's mom and Angela had prepared, talked and laughed like if nothing had happened. Looking around them Jane and Maura felt blessed, they knew that as long as they were fortunate enough to have such a supportive family and group of friends nothing bad would ever happen, that they had many people who loved her and who were willing to do everything to protect them. Speaking of protection without telling Maura Jane had secretly called Frost after receiving Doyle's letter and had asked him details about how Doyle had taken care of the Donnelley's and it wasn't pretty. According to the reports Doyle and his men had organized a meeting with the clan and had murdered them one by one using their entire gun and riffles collection. In total 13 men died that day : 10 form the Donnelley's clan and 3 from Doyle's clan. Unwilling to upset Maura Jane hadn't share the information with her and was determined to keep the details away from her. After reading Doyle's letter and learning about his decision to shut down his operations Maura had started to see him differently and to make piece with him in her heart and Jane didn't want her to see the horror of what he had done to protect them.

Half way through dinner Maura felt it was time to give a proper toast.

"Well first of all I wanted to thank all of you not only for coming tonight but also for supporting us for the past year. Procreating might be the most natural thing but becoming a parent is hard and demanding and Jane and I are so grateful that you were all here willing to help us through her pregnancy, the planning of our wedding or helping us getting used to our new lives as parents. Over the past few months Jane and I realized that family was the most important thing a human being can have and that taking care of it should always be our priority. That's why after considering it carefully I decided to resign from my position as Chief Medical Examiner." Standing up feeling all eyes on her, her hand on Jane's shoulder Maura wasn't nervous to make that announcement, it actually felt like the most natural thing to do.

"Are you sure Doc?"Both Frost and Korsak said at the said time unable to believe it.

"Yes. I have spent my entire life, studying, training, always looking to improve my skills to try to be the best Medical Examiner possible but today I realize that there are more important things in life. Don't get me wrong I love my job and I'm grateful to have such a wonderful, competent, hard working team but I just feel that being a mother, being there for our son every morning to wake and every night to put him to bed, being here to watch him take his first step or say his first word seems more important to me at the moment. I know that my position is far more flexible than Jane's and that I could have made arrangements to accomodate my working hours but until he goes to school I just want to stay home with him full time and enjoy him as much as I can."

"Does that mean that you're coming back once he starts school?"Frankie as suddenly optimistic .

"I don't think so Frankie. I know that coming back as an ME and not being in charge would be too difficult for me. I also know is that once he starts school I will have much more time for myself and that I will need to find an occupation. I was thinking about working for our family foundation or for any other charitable organisation. "

"What about you Jane?Don't tell me you wanna be a home mom too?"

"No, as much as I love our son and as much as I enjoy being with him I need to work, to be in the heart on the action you know. Unlike Maura staying home with him all day is not what I want or need. I will obviously cut off my working hours to be home as early as possible every night because I don't want to miss out on his life but but I should be back soon to teach you how to do your job little brother."Jane replied winking at Frankie.

"Well it looks like you have everything planned but when should we expect a wedding?"Quietly listening to Maura professing her love for her child Constance was amazed by Maura's decision to be a stay home mom especially knowing how important her career was for her and how hard she had worked to get where she was.

"Well Maura and I discussed it and we decided to get married this saturday at city hall. I know it's unexpected but our licence expires on monday and we don't want to wait another week."Jane replied standing up wrapping her arm around Maura's waist.

"But...I thought you wanted a beautiful romantic wedding and getting married at city hall won't give you that." Angela objected already mad at her for running what it had taken her and Maura weeks to prepare.

"The wedding we planned was gorgeous Angela and yes I always pictured myself getting married in a romantic place surrounded by flowers and all sorts of decorations but I realized that none of that matters. What matters is that Jane and I finally get married. I hope you're not disappointed."

"Of course not, you're right there are more important things and I'm glad that the two of you are finally get the happy ending your deserve."Angela replied rising her glass.

"Speaking of which, after considering it I decided to take Maura's name once we get married and that once the adoption is finalized Louis should too."Jane explained looking Maura's dad straight in the eyes hoping he would appreciate the gesture.

"Why would you give up your name when you could use them both?"Mr Isles asked.

"Well I don't really like long last names, it gets people confused all the time and beside I have two brothers and cousins so our name isn't going to die anytime soon but from what I understood your the last male of your family and I would hate to see the Isles name die Sir."

"That's certainly a wonderful gesture Jane, right darling."Constance replied looking at her husband.

"Yes it is and I propose a toast to Jane who not only is going to take our name but who also loves my daughter so much that I have never seen her that happy. Welcome to our family Jane, I trust you to take care of my daughter and my grand son." Mr Isles replied rising his glass.

"To Jane and Maura who after walking in circles around each other for years finally admitted their feelings and now form a beautiful family." Frankie Jr said rising his glass as well.

"To Jane and Maura!"Every one else replied in sync.

That night surrounded by their friends and family Jane and Maura realized they had everything to be thankful for and that despite everything that had happened since they met they wouldn't have had it any other way because every obstacle, every challenges had brought them closer and to this moment, this perfect moment.

**So guys, I was a bit disappointed about the feedback for last chapter...I thought the chapter was good and important, that showing another side of Doyle was interesting.**

**The next few chapters are going to focus on Jane going back to work, the adoption and christmas and I hope you won't find that too boring.**


	35. Misunderstanding

**Chapter 35 :**

**Misunderstanding : **

It was now the tenth of december and Little Louis was now two and a half months old and Jane and Maura had been married for two weeks. Just like they had planned the couple gathered their friends and family at city hall the saturday after Thanksgiving and were married by the Mayor of Boston himself.

After having decided to go on their honeymoon right after Christmas Jane had decided to go back to work which obviously broke Maura's heart. For the past 5 months Jane had stayed home and Maura had enjoyed having her for herself but could see that despite being extremely happy in her new role as a mother she needed more.

Maura always knew that Jane was a woman of action and that she would one day once she felt physically and psychologically ready decide to go back to work. Luckily for her Maura knew that despite being passionate about her job she and Louis were Jane's top priorities and that she would not spend nights are her desk killing herself trying to close a case anymore. She trusted her enough to make compromises and to draw the line between what she could give to her job and her victims and what she needed to give to her family.

So that monday morning Jane slowly woke up around 7am reached out for her alarm and sat on the edge of her bed, cracked her toes on the wooden floor and her neck as well trying to wake herself up.

"Do you really have to go back to work today?"Maura mumbled immediately snaking her arms around her waist to keep her from leaving.

"No I don't have to but I want to. We talked about this and we agreed that this was what was best for us."Jane replied slightly around whipping a strain of hair from her wife's face.

"I know, it's just I got you to have you all for myself. I don't like sharing you with the rest of the world."Maura groaned visibly unhappy.

"I know but I won't be far you can visit me anytime you want and you know I won't stop thinking about you. I love you, both of you."Leaning over to blow a tender kiss on Maura's lips Jane was heart broken to leave them like that but knew it was best for them.

"I know but you could have waited after our honey moon. You're going back to work for two weeks then you're going to leave for ten days and then go back again. It doesn't make sense."

"I know but after four months the salary benefits start to decrease."

"So this is about money?Oh Jane, we can afford to stay at home as long as we want."Sitting up in bed Maura realized that Jane's desire to go back to work was not only lead by her desire to resume a more active life but also by financial reasons.

"I know we're ...comfortable but I have my pride and even if I'm becoming an Isles I have no intention of using your money. I'm perfectly capable of providing for my family and I intend to do so, alright?"Taking Maura's name was one thing but living off her trust fund was something Jane refused, she has always been independent and had never used her money for anything and wasn't about to start now that they were married.

"Alright, I understand and I love you for it. I also understand your need to go back to let say more physical activities, actually you could use the exercice of chasing and tackling down criminals to loose that baby bump or yours."Her hands on Jane's belly Maura was trying her best to lighten the atmosphere up and to be understand on Jane's needs.

"Ahahah. Just so you know I lost ALL my baby weight and besides you don't seem that bothered by my belly when we're naked in bed or maybe we should stop having sex until my belly is flat and firm enough for you."Jane smirked battling her eye lashes.

"You're funny. You know I'm completely partial to your body and to you. How about we get up and get breakfast?Louis should wake up in an hour anyway."

"I'll be gone already, I need to go to human ressources and fill up some paper work before my shift. How about you go back to sleep until he wakes up and I will see you later today?"

"Alright, please be safe. Louis and I need you."The truth was that one of the reasons for Maura's reluctance was the danger that Jane was throwing herself in everyday. Despite knowing that Jane would be more careful now that she was a mother Maura knew the danger of this job and was scared to death of that phone call every cop's wife pray to never receive.

"I promise I will be more careful than I was in the past. I have two very good reasons to be careful and come back home every night and I would never do anything that would leave Louis without a mother and you a widow. I promise. Now go back to sleep."Jane replied pulling up the covers kissing her forehead tenderly.

"I know. Don't forget your pump, it would be unfortunate if you started leaking in the middle of the interrogation room." Maura smiled amused by the thought of Korsak and Frost witnessing such a scene.

"Oh don't worry I don't want that to happen. I will talk to you later. Love you."Jane replied giving her a last kiss before leaving the room.

So that morning Jane took a quick shower, got dressed, took Joe Friday for a quick walk and came back to say goodbye to her sleeping angel.

"God this is harder than I thought. I hope one day you will understand why I'm doing this. It's not going back to work because I'm bored at home with you or because I don't want to be with you but being a cop is who I am. All I want is to make the world a safer place for you and I know that every criminal I stop is a criminal that won't hurt you. I love you. Please take care of your mommy, she might look strong but she's probably going to be nostalgic and sad and start rambling but remember us Rizzoli don't whine so you'll have to calm her down. Have a good day son." Jane whispered gently rubbing his cheek with her thumb.

An hour later after filling up endless paper work Jane was back at her desk and was welcome by Frost, Korsak and Frankie.

"So how does it feel to be back?"Frankie asked feeling that she was slightly uncomfortable.

"It's great, it was hard to leave Louis and Maura this morning but it should get better with time right?"Jane grinned setting up her desk with framed pictures of Louis and Maura included that great picture they took where they were at the lake where Louis is wearing the BAMF sweater.

"Of course but remember : let's take this slow alright?The past couple of days have been quiet so if we're lucky today is also gonna be about paper work, should give you the time you need to reacclimatize yourself."Korsak replied.

"Thanks."Sitting at her desk looking at the pile of paper work Korsak had given her Jane was praying for a murder because she knew that she was going to go insane sitting on that desk staring at those files.

"By the way how are suppose to call you now, Detective Isles?"Frankie asked scratching the back of his head.

"Not yet. I'm working with our lawyer but you can not imagine how much paper work I need to fill out, between the DMV, passport, Id, Social security number not to mention my credit cards. I told Maura I would take care off but but she doesn't need to know that thanks to her over priced lawyer I'm gonna be able to surprise her with it for Christmas so not a word to her alright?"The truth was that Jane hated spending hours in queue in cold, unwelcoming administration offices but she knew Maura would appreciate the gesture.

"Yeah alright. Damn I still have trouble getting used to the idea of you taking her name."

"You do realize that if I had married a guy I would have probably taken his name, right?"

"Yeah but it's not the same, it's Dr Isles and it's you ...I thought she would take your name, that you know you were the guy in your relationship but if taking her name makes you happy I'm with ya sis."

"Unlike what people seem to believe there is no guy in a lesbian relationships Frankie but yeah I never thought I would take her name and I'm pretty sure she was willing to give hers up but as I said I don't want her name to die with her father. Anyway let's get back to work, don't you have patrol at some point?"Thinking about it Jane realized that most people assumed that she was the guy in their relationship taking the lead at work or in their private life but the truth was that ever since they met Maura had been leading the dance not her but she wasn't willing to admit it. She liked the idea of being seen as the head of the house, and that people saw her as a strong, driven woman who always protected the one she loved and who was always so strong and determined making sure that everything was okay. The only thing people didn't know was that for the past year it was Maura who bared the weight of their relation and family on her shoulders, helping her overcome her doubts regarding her abilities as a mother, who helped her face Dean and who had done what she had to get rid of him. Yes Jane enjoyed being seen at the guy and that people didn't really know or understood their dynamic, what happened at home was private and they had their own way of being a family and she was glad people had no idea how they lived their lives.

"Yeah, I'll see ya later, try not to think about them too much. I'm sure they're having lots of fun together."Giving a warm hug to her sister before leaving Frankie despite being happy to see her at work again couldn't help but feeling Jane's pain. All his life he had watched her being so driven by her work, not allowing herself to have a private life, scarifying everything for the job and he was happy to finally see that she was allowing herself to love and was excited to be an uncle.

"I know."

A few hours later around noon Jane was still missing her family and decided to call Maura hoping Louis would be awake and willing to listen to her rambling over the phone.

"That's weird, no answer on her cell or on the landline."Jane frowned as she reached the voice mail for the second time.

"She's probably preparing lunch don't worry about it."Frost replied seeing the concerned look on Jane's face.

"You're right."Jane smiled through grinned teeth.

For the next hour Jane called over and over, sent texts unsuccessfully. Around 1pm unable to take it anymore she decided to drive to her house convinced that there was something wrong.

"She's still not picking up?"Frost asked standing up sliding in his jacket.

"No, something is wrong she always has her cell with her. I'm gonna drive there."Jane replied grabbing her keys, phone, gun and badge.

"Right behind you partner."Following Jane to their car Frost knew that after what happened with Doyle and Dean Jane had every reason to worry.

Driving towards her house the siren on, burning every single light Jane had a gut feeling that something was wrong and started picturing the worse. She started to picture one of Doyle's ennemies or one of Dean's old army buddy enemy kidnapping them or worse.

"Her car is still here."Jumping out of her car reaching out for her gun Jane's stomach suddenly torn. She couldn't breath or think properly, all she could see in her head were images of her family hurt in that house.

Stepping in the house their guns armed and ready to shoot Jane and Frost were unable to find any traces of either Louis or Maura.

"Her cell phone is on the counter and there are plates and cups in the sink, looks like the place was left in a hurry. Call the station and put a BOLO on them now!"Jane ordered Frost who was desperatly trying to calm her down.

"It doesn't mean anything. People forget their phones at home all the time and the mess doesn't mean she was taken, she probably decided to go for a walk and to post pone the cleaning." Frost replied trying to minimise the situation.

"That's my wife and my child we're talking about so just do it!"Jane hollered pointing her fingers had him.

"Alright, we're gonna find them. I promise."Grabbing his phone before dialing the station's number Frost was praying that his theory was indeed correct and that Maura was just out shopping somewhere.

15 minutes later Korsak along with several uniforms were at the house looking for evidence of a kidnapping.

Pacing around her living room trying to focus and remember anything suspicious since they came back from the lake house Jane's pulse was rising, she was incoherent and agressive refusing to talk to anyone but Korsak.

"Alright Jane, calm down. Do you remember any one following you or if you receiving prank phone calls since you came back?"Following Jane around Korsak was the only one who knew how to deal with Jane when she was like this.

"No, of course not. Doyle said we would be safe. He said that he took care of every single one of the Donnelly's and because he shut down his organisation I have no way of contacting him. I don't even know where he is. God damn it Korsak. I swear to god if Dean sent someone else after them I will go to that prison and kill him with my bare hands."Walking around in circles in the living room Jane was overwhelmed with rage and anger for Dean and was starting to regret her decision to let him live.

"I promise you nothing is going to happen to your family. We have half of Boston's finest looking for them. Everything is going to be alright." Korsak replied feeling the rage as well.

An hour later as Jane was almost having a panic attack Maura casually stepped into the house pushing Louis' stroller.

"Where in hell were you?We have been looking for you everywhere!"Running towards her family Jane couldn't believe her eyes.

"I had an epiphany regarding your Christmas present so Louis and I left for a while to take care of it. Why do we have patrols car outside our house."Feeling Jane's arms around her squeezing her as hard as she could Maura was confused.

"By foot?It's fucking december Maura!"Jane replied very aggressively as she took a step back to free her son from his stroller.

"I know but I needed to walk and he's fully protected from the cold in his stroller look he's smiling."

"I called you a million times and your phone was right here, that's why we have patrols cars outside and half of the city looking for you!"Still unable to calm down Jane was nervously holding her son against her staying as far as she could from Maura.

"The battery was dead so I just left it here, I'm so sorry for worrying you so much. I didn't realize you would call me. I'm sorry."Taking a step towards Jane wrapping her arm around her Maura felt incredibly guilty seeing how genuinely worried Jane was.

"You didn't think I would call you during lunch time?Damn it Maura, I called over and over and didn't pick up and I thought..."Leaning her forehead against Maura's Jane was slowly calming down feeling Maura's arms around her and her son in her arms she was finally realizing that all this was a big misunderstanding and that they were safe.

"I'm gonna cancel the BOLO now." Korsak shyly said a few feet away.

"Yes Vincent, thank you and sorry for the trouble, I will be more thoughtful next time."Maura whispered kissing Jane's cheek.

"Nah, don't worry about it. Hey Jane how about you spend the rest of the day here with your family? We have the situation under control."The truth was that Korsak had rarely seen Jane like that, no matter how angry or worried she was she was always able to remain objective and rational but when it came to her family she seemed to lost reason.

"Thanks."

Walking towards the couch carefully holding her son Jane now much quiet started to feel embarrassed for causing such a scene. She knew she had over reacted and that it could never happen again.

"So how was your morning anyway?"Leaning against Jane Maura was also embarrassed to have caused such trouble as well. Despite knowing how protective and worried Jane was she hadn't expected her to cause such a mess by being unreachable for a couple of hours.

"Boring. The team hasn't caught a murder in two days and Korsak seems to have forgotten to do his paper work during my maternity leave so I spent the morning helping him catch up on it."

"Well don't worry this city never goes without a murder for more than a few days and I'm sure that there's going to be plenty of action for you."

"I know speaking of action you found my Christmas present?"Jane pouted hoping that Maura would at least give her a hint.

"Yes I did but don't think you're going to use your interrogation techniques on me because I won't flinch and before you think about it no you won't coerce me to tell you by using your charms and talents in bed. I'm a trained professional and I can resist pressure. "The truth was that Maura was determined to give her little family the best christmas possible and had found the perfect gift for her beloved wife.

"Alright, alright. Christmas is in two weeks so I suppose I can wait. What I can not wait for though it to decorate our house. If the rest of the week is that calm we can take care of it any day you want but if we catch a murder we'll have to wait until this week end to go shop for decorations and for a three."

"Don't worry Louis and I have everything under control. I already ordered everything we needed from a store in New-York about a month ago. We should receive everything this week."The truth was that Maura had been planning this Christmas for weeks and had ordered multiples hand made customized ornaments and was eager to show them to Jane and install them around the house.

"A month ago?Did you order them in one of those store that are so back logged that they barely keep up with their orders?"

"Yes I did. Considering we are going to re use them every year I figured we needed to best quality available and this store is the best there is. I didn't want to tell you because I wanted to surprise you. Just worry about the tree and I will take care of the ornaments."

"Alright, alright. God I can not wait this Christmas is going to be awesome I can feel it and I'm pretty sure that you're going to love my gift."

Laying back in their living room Jane and Maura started to dream about their first Christmas as a family and knew it was going to be perfect. They were finally safe from Dean or Doyle's enemies, were married and the adoption was only a formality and they had everything a human being could hope for. For Maura this Christmas was going to be very special because she never had a real familial Christmas before and always spent it skiing in europe. This year for the first time she had the opportunity to have the full "typical american Christmas" experience with all the ornaments, the massive tree, the presents, the egg nog, the dinner, the candies and she had a feeling that this period of the year was going to be her favorite from now on.

Jane on the other hand always had great Christmas with her parents who took this celebration very seriously and was eager to give Maura the best Christmas possible and was hoping that her gift would make her happy and that the adoption would be finalized so they could start the new year as a family. She knew that Maura never celebrated Christmas with her family and that ever since they were friends despite inviting her she always declined to spend it with her and her family and was eager to give her the full Rizzoli's Christmas experience.

**So guys, I skipped the wedding but I'm sure you won't hold it against me. **

**So did Jane over react?I mean it's so like her to over react liek that and send half of Boston PD look for them and it's so typical of Maura to just go for a walk without taking her phone right?**

**The next few chapters are gonna be pure fluff , christmas, the adoption...**

**As I said I never expected this story to be that long and initially thought I would end up after the birth of little Louis but I had so many ideas that I couldn't just stop there. Actually I think I have ideas for the future chapters, new challenges, new twists that I never wrote about in my other stories and I hope you're going to enjoy them :) **


	36. Surprise visit

**SOrry for the double posting guys, I posted the wrong chapter like 3 times. Damn I need coffee!**

**Chapter 36:**

**Surprise visit : **

It was now just a week before Christmas. After a short adaptation period and efforts from Maura's part Jane was starting to enjoy her job again. Despite missing her family a lot she was less nervous about leaving them by themselves and wouldn't freak out if Maura didn't pick up the phone at the first ring. Also she had made drastic changes in the way she was dealing with her job, coming home every day for dinner time, not working on week ends. Even if they both knew that realistically Jane would not always be able to come home at reasonable hours Jane was determined to do it when ever possible.

On the other hand Maura now that Jane was less worried was starting to enjoy being a stay at home mother. At first she was scared that being home all day with little contact with other adults and with almost no intellectual stimulations would make it hard for her to fully enjoy this experience. Luckily Maura discovered a new world outside of her busy job as Chief Medical examiner, a world that was as fulfilling and as busy. She finally had time to read all the novels she had bought but never had time to read, have long walks with Louis or spend time with Angela watching the food channel trying to pick up original meals ideas.

Also after only a week her and Louis already had their little daily routine and Maura spent a lot of time talking, reading to him and would take him outside every day and could not wait for the weather to warm up a bit so they could play in the park next to their house.

A few days after their unfortunate misunderstanding Maura had been convoked by the family judge who was in charge of the adoption of little Louis.

Despite being nervous Maura remained calm and clearly explained the reasons why she wanted to adopt Louis and what being a mother meant for her. Surrounded by Angela and her parents Maura was confident that the judge would grant her the adoption. The audience lasted less than an hour and after talking with Jane and Angela the judge informed them that a social worker would visit them in the next month to evaluate their house and their living conditions and to learn more about their marriage, financial status etc and that they should expect a response to their request later in january. Leaving the court house Jane and Maura were confident but were hoping that the judge would give them his decision as soon as possible after the house inspection by social services but knew that family courts were usually busy and that being in the middle of Christmas holidays didn't help. What they didn't know was that the judge was retiring in february and that not only their case was the last one he accepted but that he was eager to close all his cases before leaving. Unfortunately Jane and Maura's lawyer chose not to share this information with them knowing that Maura would get nervous if she knew that the social worker would probably visit them before the end of the week. He wanted her to be as natural and relaxed as she was in the court house.

So that friday morning Jane woke up a little later than usual and was surprised to find that Maura wasn't next to her. Reluctantly pulling herself out Jane's back was troubling her. After several days of doing paper work Frost and her had finally caught a murder and had been forced to chase a suspect by foot and Jane had to tackle him down and this morning the pain in her lower back was reminding her that she wasn't getting any younger.

Walking towards the kitchen Jane's face immediately lit up when she saw Maura casually having breast feeding Louis while pacing in the living room.

"You should probably sit down or he might end up throwing up on you."Jane joked unexpectedly grabbing her form behind.

"You're up. How is your back feeling this morning?"Turning around Maura was immediately see from the way she was standing that her back was troubling her.

"It's getting better, thanks for letting me sleep a bit longer. Don't worry Frankie and I are going to pick up our three this evening and we will be home early alright?"

"Alright, then I will ask my dad to move the furnitures so we can install it right over there, what do you think?"Pointing the left corner of their living room.

"I think that would be great."Looking at Maura's shining eyes Jane knew that she had a very precise idea on how they were going to place every single ornament.

"I'm glad we receive all the ornaments yesterday we are going to spend the week end installing them, isn't it exciting Louis?"Maura enthusiastically said as she closed her robe before handing to Jane.

"Yes it is. Decorating the three and the house has always been a special ritual when we were kids and I hope that he's going to enjoy it as much as we did."Jane replied as she gently start jiggling him from side to side.

"I'm sure he will. You know I was think we should get a bigger house."

"Why?This one is perfectly fine. It's actually pretty big."

"I know but with the three there we're going to have to move the table closer towards the kitchen, that's not very practical. We should get a house with a proper dining room separated from the living room."

"No Maura, this house is fine. We have three bedroom, two bathrooms, a huge backyard and a freaking guest house. Your last house had a dinning room but it was cold and unwelcoming. This one is warmer, it's the perfect family house so no darling we are not buying a bigger house. I know we're probably gonna have lots of dinners here but we'll just move the furniture a bit, no big deal."Walking towards the nursery Jane was touched by Maura's offer but truly felt home in this place where they had shared so many nice memories and she wasn't willing to move.

"Alright. We'll talk about it again once we have a second child. How about redecorating? I know you're less than found of my African art pieces."

"Well I like those masks and statues, it's just that seeing them reminds of why you love Africa so much." The truth was that Jane hated those artefacts that reminded her that Maura had been in love with someone else before.

"Oh Jane, I know how you feel about Ian but the memories I shared with him when we were in Africa together isn't the only reason why I love this continent. I had wonderful experiences with the local population and my fellow doctors when I was with doctors without borders not to mention that the landscapes are gorgeous."Trying to justify her love for this continent Maura knew how hurt Jane was by her attachement to Ian and knew that of all the men she had been with he was the one she felt the most threatened by.

"I get it, it's a beautiful country with great food, wild animals, the music is good too and I'm sure Ian is enjoying himself, as a fugitive alone far far away from the most beautiful woman on this planet."Gently leaving Louis in his crib Jane could sense Maura's effort to put the past behind them and was grateful that Ian was in Africa and that they would probably never see him again.

"Exactly, he is out of our lives for good just like Dean is and I think that our furniture and art work should reflect that so next month right after we're back from our honey moon we're going to start redecorating this house to make it more our home."Maura replied her arms around Jane.

"Alright, but just so you know YOU are the love of myself and I intend to do anything to protect our family if he ever comes back."Jane replied emphasizing on the word YOU.

"You're the love of my life as well Jane. When I told you Ian was the love of my life it was already over between us for a long time but I had just realized it. He was the love of my past life, life that ended the day I met you. You're my soul mate Jane, the one person who made me forget all about my previous lives and whom I'm sure I'm going to love in the next ones."Her arms wrapped around Jane looking straight up into her beautiful eyes Maura understood Jane's jealousy regarding Ian but knew that she trusted her and was just hoping Ian would never barge in their lives again, not that she still loved him but after what had happened with Dean she knew Jane would probably hurt him really badly.

"I know darling. I'm sorry, I'm such an ass. I know Ian is your past and that I and Louis are you future, I just don't like him. Actually I think I never thanked you for buying a new bed and a new couch when we started dating."Looking down at her wife Jane could feel the sincerity and love in her eyes and knew she had nothing to worry about.

"Well I know how you would feel to share the bed I once share with Ian and other past lovers and I got rid of that couch for the same reason. Now about you go to work and I will be there tonight possibly with ideas on how to turn our house into our home?"

"Alright."

So that morning Jane went to work trying to hide how badly her back hurt while Maura was trying to visualise their house decorated with the dozens of ornaments she had purchase.

Around 11am as Maura was standing in the middle of the living room with a clear picture in her head the door suddenly rang.

"This must be UPS and my new Prada shoes, I'm sure you're going to love them but this stays between us, considering I bought one last week already your mommy needs to be psychologically prepared before I tell her."Maura said to baby Louis as she enthusiastically walked towards the door.

"I'm sorry for coming unannounced my name is Sonya I was appointed by social services, may I come in?"Standing in front of Maura was an African American woman with curly dark air and red glasses, she was in her late twenties and was holding a large folder in her hands.

"I'm Dr Maura Isles, please come in."Opening the door allowing the younger woman to step it Maura was strangely calm and confident, Jane was right this was only a formality and she had nothing to be scared of.

"Oh, I see you have a tortoise." Walking towards the living room Sonya's eyes immediately met Bass who was roaming around.

"Yes I have had him for about ten years. His name is Bass, we also have a dog who's probably here somewhere. Please have a seat. May I get you something to drink?"Maura politely said inviting her to sit not he couch.

"No thank you. I just had my daily dose of coffee. How did the two of them react when you brought the baby home?"Sonya asked sitting on the couch, crossing her legs.

"Well I must say that our dog Joe Friday's behavior changed immediately when Jane got pregnant. At first she was a bit distant but became quickly very protective over Jane and today she still sleeps in front of the nursery and follows me around if I have Louis in my arms. Regarding Bass, I think he was and still is a bit overwhelmed. He and I lived by ourselves for so long and he has trouble adjusting to Joe Friday and Jane living with us but things are getting better now."

"Why do you think is going to happen once Louis starts to crawl around and start trying to establish contact with him?"

"He's probably going to do what he does when Joe Friday bothers him : hide in his shell, don't worry he's absolutely not aggressive in any way and besides I will make sure that Louis doesn't harass him, right Louis?"Maura replied jiggling her son from side to side.

"Alright. Well Maura, as you know I was appointed by the family court to speak with you and your wife regarding the adoption of Louis."

"Yes, our lawyer told us you would be coming to inspect our house, see how we are raising our son and to determine if I'm a fit mother."Maura replied taking a deep breath, feeling little Louis' hand around her index.

"Yes but just relax, I'm not here to judge you or to come between you and your son. "

"I know. I'm just a bit nervous."

"Well don't be. I have your file here, which is very thorough I must say and it's mentioned that you are the Chief Medical Examiner for the state of Massachusetts?"Opening her folder containing Maura's file Sonya couldn't help but be amazed by how thick and thorough it was and the work their lawyer had put in it.

"Yes. I moved back to Boston from New York...6 years ago to accept this position."

"Is this how you met your wife?"

"Yes, Jane was one of my Detectives."Maura smiled remembering the first time she laid eyes on Jane. It was on a cold morning of december and due to the bad weather she was exceptionally late to the crime scene. She remembered stepping into the victim's house and hearing Jane cursing asking Korsak " where the hell here this new ME?" She remembered being immediately blown away by Jane's presence, and the way all the male officers respected her and complied to the order she gave them. She knew right from that minute they met that Jane was going to be someone very interesting to get to know.

"I can see on your file that you have been married for two weeks."

"Yes. We originally planned on getting married ten weeks ago but our little guy here decided it was unfair of us to get married without him and decided to grace us with his presence 4 weeks before term."

"I can imagine how stressful organizing a wedding can be and even more on a pregnant woman."

"Yes, our mothers and I tried to plan as much as we could without bothering her but she got worried despite our best efforts."

"Well as long as your son is healthy, it's all that matters. I see that Jane initiated the process of changing her last name?"

"Yes. We discussed it and agreed that the three of us should have the same name . I offered that we took each other's name but Jane wasn't comfortable with the idea of having two last names and suggested that her and Louis took my name."

"That must have made you proud."Despite being used to deal with same sex couple adoptions Sonya was always amazed to see that just like in straight marriages one of them was willing to give up her name.

"Yes, she says that considering that she has two brothers and many male cousins her name won't die anytime soon but that considering that my dad is the last living male of his family mine will die with him and she knows how proud my father can be with those things so we agreed."

"Well that's a wonderful gesture. Speaking of Jane is she back to work?"

"Yes. She was on maternity leave from her 25th weeks and stayed home for 9 weeks after giving birth, but she's a woman of action and as much as she enjoyed staying home with us it was time for her to go back to work."

"She's a homicide Detective, it must be hard for your to balance your marriage with work and having a child?"

"Well first, I would like to state that I'm planning to resign from my position as Chief Medical Examiner is a very near future. I just want to find the perfect replacement to recommend first."Maura stated determined to prove to her that she was indeed going to put her son's well being before her own career.

"Oh, that is a very important decision . Are you sure this is what you want?"As much as she appreciated Maura's sacrifice and desire to be a stay home mom, she also knew that being a mother couldn't be the only thing in her life, that by sacrificing a job she had trained for years without being completely sure she might end up resenting her child later.

"Yes, as much as I love my job I love my son more. I was raised by a wonderful woman but who was always busy traveling the world and who neglected me and I will not raise my son the same way I was raised. I want to be there for here, wake him up,bring him to school, pick him up at night and listening to him telling me about his day. I want to give him all the attention he deserves."

"That's very noble, but even if your days will be full for a while once he goes to school you will find yourself with a lot of free time."

"Yes. Jane and I have considered that fact and I think I will have to find an occupation that allows me to be there for him but also that will occupy me while he's at school. Despite the fact that my position as a medical examiner isn't as consuming as Jane I think I will either work at our family foundation or volunteer for any other charitable organization."

"That sounds like a good plan. What about Jane you said she needed to be on the job too much to consider being a stay home mom?"

"Well Jane is far more active than me, she always needs to do something, to be in the heart of the action, when I myself don't feel the need to always be in movement all the time. Don't worry though, she already made some drastic changes since she went back to work, she doesn't work on week ends anymore, is at home at more reasonable hours. She loves her job and she's the best at what she does and I must say that catching bad guys was what does drove her for a long time but now she has something else much greater to live for."

"Well I think raising a family is a matter of organization and compromise which the two of you seem to have. But I think that the most important thing is to never forget that you are human beings and women before being parents and that to be good parents you must be happy on a personal level. I see so many parents giving everything for their children and they always end up resenting them at some point."Writing down a few notes on their files Sonya was happy to see that the two women had considered almost everything and that they had both made changes in their lives without sacrificing their personal happiness over their child's.

"I agree Jane and I love our son but we are not willing to sacrifice our marriage or careers for him and as you said it's a matter of balance and finding the perfect balance between making comprises and sacrifices and doing things for yourself. Despite being very different Jane and I always made a terrific team, we may have different methods but our hearts are at the same place, we have the same work ethics, moral values and the vision we have of marriage and family is the same so things go really naturally."

"Speaking of family, it says here that your mother in law lives in your guest house?"

"Yes. Angela moved in about …..a year and a half ago after divorcing her husband. She founds herself in a very difficult financial situation and I offered her my guest house."

"That's very kind of you. My husband has trouble dealing with my mother over the holidays so for a year and a half…I think he would probably get depressed or actually go homicidal."

"Well Angela is the most wonderful woman I ever met. Actually Jane and I weren't dating yet when she moved it but she was my best friend and I thought it was the most appropriate thing to do."

"How does the cohabitation works?"

"Well to be honest with you up until a couple of weeks ago my parents were also living in our guest house and it became very loud and crowded. As much as I enjoyed their presence I'm glad they decided to move to our mansion and we're also working on finding Angela an apartment in one of the buildings we own."

"That's very generous of you…"

"Well Angela is family but as much as I love her Jane and I are married now and we have a son and we need our privacy. I'm sure one of the apartments my father is going to offer her will satisfy her and she knows she can visit any time she wants."

"Speaking of your father how did your parents react when you announced that you were expecting?"

"My mother was rather shocked because she didn't even know Jane and I were dating. Jane and I had been dating for several months and we were looking to the best way to tell them. I called my mother, left her a message and the next day she was here in Boston. if you could have seen her face when she saw that Jane was pregnant and that we were dating. She was happy but shocked and now she spends all the time she can with Louis who happens to be very found of her."

"How about your father?"

"My dad?Having his first grand child, a boy…he was over the moon. He actually spends as much time with Louis as Angela and my mother allow him to."

"It seems that you are very surrounded by your family."

"And friends as well, yes we are very fortunate. We have all the support we need which allow us to go out or spend time together by ourselves when we need to."

"It looks like you have a very healthy and well organized life but before you give me a tour of your house is there anything you want to add?"Sonya asked closing her folder leaving in on the coffee table.

"Well, as I said to the judge even if I always wanted to become a mother Louis arrived by surprise. Jane and I weren't dating when she found out she was pregnant but she wasn't dating the father so I ask her to move in with me so I could take care of her and her baby. I immediately felt connected with that child the same way I always felt connected to Jane. I remember being there when she had her first ultrasound and crying when I heard the heart beat. I was overwhelmed."Maura explained a tear in her eyes as she remembered that day.

"And I suppose one thing let to another..."

"Well truth be told Jane and I fell in love with each other years ago but were always scared to come forward but living together sharing this incredible experience that pregnancy is brought us closer and we finally decided to take that leap of faith. I must say that I was a bit scared at first not being blood related to Louis that we wouldn't bond but he actually started to react to my voice. Actually I remember that he would kick Jane so hard that is was excruciating for her and that only my voice would calm him down or that he would start kicking when he heard me come back home from work. I think we bounded before he was even born and I think that because of that bond he's not that bothered that Jane is only home at nights and early in the morning."

"Well you file mentioned that you breast feed him. That must have help the two of you to bond."

"Yes it did. Actually Jane knew about my fears of not being able to bound with him so she offered me the opportunity to breast took me about two weeks of stimulation to be able to produce enough milk to feed him. I now produce as much milk as Jane which is a relief before her breasts were really sensitive and ever since we both breast feed she started to lactate less and her breast are less painful you know."Maura explained realizing that she might had given too much information.

"Well I'm glad to hear that. Shall we take a tour of your house?"

"Sure."

For the next half hour Maura still holding Louis in her arms gave Sonya a tour of their house. Listening to Maura talk about her family Sonya was stroke by how loving and supportive their entire family and friends had been from the start. She was also please to see how strong her marriage with Jane was and could obviously see how much little Louis loved her. During her many years as a social worker she had barely see a family that made it that easy for her to make a choice. Roaming around the house observing Maura and Louis she could see how loving and devoting she was to her son and how confident she was in her abilities as her mother and was impressed by the sacrifice she had made and also how well prepared she seemed to be. Yes after spending an hour with Jane and Louis she could not see any reason not to give a positive recommendation and for the judge to deny their request.

Half an hour later once Sonya left Maura immediately collapsed on the couch while Louis was napping exhausted but confident. After replaying their conversation in her head Maura was confident that she had managed to show how sincere, devoted and organized she was and knew there was no reason for the adoption not to be granted.

The night Jane came home around 8 only to find Maura and Louis already in bed, Maura half asleep an open book on her chest.

"Hey sweetheart, it's only 8, are you alright?"Jane asked climbing in bed next to her, snaking her arms around her.

"Yes. I'm just a bit tired, we received an unexpected visit from a social work."

"Oh, really?A week before Christmas?How did it go?"The truth was that Jane didn't expect the social worker to visit them until next month but was glad that it happened so soon so they could both enjoy the holidays without worrying about it.

"It went perfectly fine. She didn't interrogate me as I thought she would, we just had a very casual conversation about being married and being a parent. Don't worry about it. I hope you won't hold it against me but I already ate. I left you a plate in the micro wave, just re heat it for a few minutes."Maura replied covering her mouth as she let a deep yawn.

"Sure, go back to sleep mommy."Jane smiled kissing Maura's forehead turning off the bedside light.

So that night Maura and Jane went to bed convinced that everything would be alright, that all they needed was to wait for the judge to rule in their favor.

Slowly everything came to place, they were married, Jane was back at work and was in the process of becoming an Isles, the adoption was bout to be finalized and Louis was also going to become an Isles. Yes after a year of up and down, threats, administrative nightmares the little family was completely happy and ready to celebrate their first Christmas together knowing nothing or no on would ever be able to break them appart.

**Alright, I know long long long chapter but I didn't want to split it. I hope it wasn't too boring but I figured it was necessary. next chapter is going to be fun and all fluff.**

**PS : Thought the last chapter was good but it apparently didn't interest you that much, please if you think my ideas are bad give me better ones!**


	37. Merry Christmas

**Chapter 37:**

**Merry Christmas :**

It was now the 23 rd of december. Despite being overwhelmed at work trying to close a double homicide Jane had taken the saturday off to help Maura finalizing the decorations for the family dinner the next day.

The previous week end the couple had already spent hours decorating their tree with the ornaments Maura had ordered and that included a glass gold star, ribbons, very fragile red and white glass balls that had Maura, Jane and Louis' names engraved on them but also multicolored electric garlands placed on the tree and also outside the house, not to mentioned the traditional socks with their names handily sewed pinned on the mantle.

Knowing how important this first Christmas was for Maura Jane managed to buy the biggest tree that could fit into their house and didn't complain when they received the 20 boxes full of ornaments that was probably going to transform their house into the best decorated one of their neighborhood.

Actually Jane was amazed by how tastefully Maura chose those ornaments, engraving them with their names, not to mention that despite not being religious herself she had bought hand painted figurines and reconstituted the nativity scene right next to the tree.

Looking around her Jane had a feeling that this Christmas was going to be perfect and could not wait to give Maura her gifts hoping that she would love them.

Actually scared that she might not receive her new passports, driving license and other papers in time for Christmas Jane had spent days trying to find the perfect back up gift but thanks to their lawyer she had received everything the previous day.

"So what you think?"Looking at the table trying to spot any imperfection Maura was relatively satisfied. All she wanted was for everything to be perfect and had selected and bought new cutlery making sure they matched perfectly with the furniture and the ornaments. She wanted things to be simple but tasteful.

"Well I think that it is tasteful, original, classy, well proportioned just like you."Jane whispered her voice slightly deeper than usual as she gently started to kiss Maura's shoulder while sliding her hand under her shirt.

"Don't think that sweet talking is going to get you anywhere. We still have a lot to do."Maura replied escaping from Jane's embrace.

"Come on! Between work and this it's been 5 days Maur', haven't you heard of conjugal duties?"Despite being grateful for the effort Maura had put in planning their first Christmas Jane could not wait until things went back to normal, because all Maura could think about days and night was this dinner and it was seriously starting to damage their sex life.

"I can not believe you would even…"Maura mumbled shocked that Jane would be that old school and completely sexist on this matter.

"I'm kidding babe, it's just that I miss you…"Jane pouted in an attempt to make it up to her.

"Well in 3 days we will be on our honey moon and you will have the opportunity of having me at every single meal for ten days."Maura replied feeling her phone vibrating in her back pocket.

"I know. I can not wait." Jane replied pressing her lips against hers.

"Maura Isles speaking. Yes. Oh, so soon?Oh…Are you sure?Yes I understand, thanks a lot for your hard work and have a merry Christmas. Yes I will see you in a couple of weeks."Hanging up the phone letting it dropped on the table Maura was pale, she did not know how to react to the news she had just heard or if it was real.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Jane said taking a step towards her wife, seeing the look on her face she immediately understood what this phone call was about and feared the worse.

"That was our lawyer. The judge has ruled this morning. He said he's retiring soon, that we were his last case and that he didn't want me and other parents to spend Christmas without knowing."Maura mumbled tears rushing to her eyes.

"Well that make sense. So what did he say?"

"He ruled in favor of my request. The adoption should be finalized current of january, just the time for the paper work to be processed."Maura replied unable to believe it.

"See, I told you. Congratulations mommy."Jane said pulling Maura in her arms squeezing her as hard as she could.

"I can't believe that everything got sorted out that quickly especially during the holidays."Still in shock Maura was unable to believe it. She had prepared herself to wait another few weeks months even .

"Wait here for a second."Walking away Jane suddenly realized that this was the perfect time for her to give Maura one of her gifts.

"Where are you going?"Maura asked skeptical look on her face.

"To get you a gift."Jane smiled stepping into their bedroom. Walking towards her closet grabbing a chair and grabbing the town envelope she had carefully hidden out of Maura's reach Jane had a feeling that this was exactly what Maura needed to complete the good news they had received.

"What is it?"Maura asked as Jane hands her the large envelope.

"Open it."Jane replied smiling at her wife knowing how happy she's gonna be.

"Alright…Oh Jane, you did it."Maura mumbled pulling out Jane's new passport, ID and driving license from an envelope.

"Yes I did. I never thought I would have everything ready for Christmas but your lawyer knows someone who knows someone. I wanted to surprise you with tomorrow but I figured since we received the good news today that the moment was perfect."

"Absolutely."Looking down at Jane's ID reading the words " Jane Isles" over and over Maura was overwhelmed by a feeling of extreme pride and happiness but also of disbelief. Actually she thought that Jane was going to change her mind or post pone it for ever pretending that she doesn't have time to queue in various administrations' offices and was pleasantly surprised to see that she went through with it.

"Now all we need to do is to amend Louis' birth certificate and we're done with all this paperwork BS. You're alright?"Jane asked looking down at Maura seeing the tears filling up her eyes.

"Yes. I have never been happier. All this, the adoption, the name change feel extremely right. Thank you."Maura sighed burying her head in Jane's chest.

"No thank you for marrying me and adopting our boy."Jane replied kissing her forehead.

Two days later was finally Christmas day. After spending the previous night after eating the delicious meal Maura, Angela and Constance had spent the entire day cooking and exchanging stories about their childhood Christmas with their friends and families Jane and Maura went to bed late.

Waking up the next morning as she heard Louis crying for his breakfast Jane quickly turned the monitor off, bounced out off bed as silently as possible and joined her son in the nursery.

"Hey buddy?You're awake?It's only 8 am. How about we let your mommy sleep a little longer?You know how much effort she put into planning last night's dinner."Sitting back in the rocking chair Jane despite exhausting couldn't help but marveling at how cute he looked in his little green and red Christmas' pajamas.

Despite having less than 6 hours of sleep Jane was excited to finally give her present to Maura and see what she had gotten her, not that it mattered though because marrying her was the most beautiful gift she could have ever given her but she was always amused by her wife's fertile imagination and couldn't wait to see what she had came up with this time.

"You know, it's not that I'm jealous or anything but you're the one who's gonna receive the most presents. Between your grand parents, your uncles Frankie, Frost, Korsak and Tommy not to mention your two insane mothers you're gonna have enough clothes, toys and teddy bears to open your own store."Jane smiled feeling the little monster pumping her left nipple.

The truth was that despite knowing he was growing really fast Maura, Angela and Constance had spent a fortune on his presents buying him clothes, shoes and little hats and there was nothing Jane was able to do to convince them that he didn't need that much clothes or toys .

About 45 minutes later after changing and dressing him up Jane decided to go clean the kitchen and dinner table unwilling to let Maura exhaust herself doing that on top of everything them.

Gently leaving him in his crib in the living room Jane started to clean the table,loaded the dish washer, making sure to place everything back the way Maura would want.

After an hour of intense cleaning the house finally looked as good as before their entire clan barged it and turned it upside down.

Making herself a cup of coffee looking up in the fridge for the perfect breakfast for her sleeping beauty Jane was suddenly attacked by a small 4 legged creature that almost her made her loose her balance.

"Hey Bass, merry Christmas to you buddy. Where were you last night?Were you hiding in Maura's closet again?I can't blame you though, my family is loud. I'm sorry buddy, I realize your life has been turned upside down since I moved in. I appreciate you being such a good sport about it."Kneeling in front of him handing him one of those strawberries he loved so much Jane was despite what she was willing to admit very found of the tortoise.

"See I told you, you're talking to him now."Maura suddenly said walking towards her holding louis in her hand.

"Geez Maura where did you come from?"Jane mumbled surprised and embarrassed as well.

"From our bedroom. I see you cleaned us last night's mess. Thank you, I must say I was exhausted."Maura replied giving her a warm kiss.

"Well you have been over working yourself for the past week to put this dinner together so it was the least I can do. Merry Christmas my love."Her arms around her beloved wife and son Jane was finally experiencing this feeling that feeling of fulfillment her mother had told her about for years but never thought she would ever taste and it felt right, incredibly right.

"Merry Christmas to you too. Are we having breakfast or do you want to open your present now?"

"I think I would love us to exchange present now please." The truth was that Jane was dying to see what Maura had gotten her. She knew that her gift would be tasteful and personal and would prove how much she knows her.

"Alright, follow me. I hope you're going to enjoy this gift, it's from both myself and Louis."Holding Jane's hand still carrying Louis is her other arm Maura walked towards the door all the way to the guest house hoping that Jane would appreciate the gift she had put a lot of money and effort in.

"Were you keeping it in the guest house the whole time?"Jane asked narrowing her eye brows as she followed Maura trough their backyard.

"Yes, you never go there unless I ask you to get me something inside. I knew it was the perfect hiding place." Smiling internally Maura was eager to see Jane's reaction.

"Fair enough."

"Here you darling." Opening the door allowing Jane inside Maura was holding her breath.

"Is it…what the…." Standing in the middle of what used to be their guest house Jane could not believe what was laying before her eyes.

Not only Maura had installed all her baseball memorabilia she had never unpacked when she moved in on the walls but she had installed a bar, a fridge, a 50" flat screen with huge speakers, a pool, an old flipper and two gigantic brown chair on both sides of the couch.

"I think the popular term is man cave."Maura replied observing the look on Jane's face as she roamed around the room.

"Oh baby, that's so sweet. This place is perfect. The guys are gonna love it."Smiling Jane starting to picture herself with Korsak, Frost and her brothers watching games, drinking beers and could already feel the taste of happiness in her mouth.

"Well I know how hard you work and how much you enjoy watching games with your brothers and Detective Korsak and Frost. The problem is that when they are all in our living room yelling and cursing it's really hard for me to concentrate on anything, to read or even for Louis to nap. "

"You're right. Here we won't wake him up or spoil your couch and I promise that I will keep this place tidy and clean. I lack words to express how I feel. Thank you baby. I love you."Pressing her lips against her Jane was shaking, overwhelmed by so much sweetness and care.

"You're welcome. Before being parents we are human beings and being able to take break from work or from each other from time to time is essential. After everything you give to us and to complete strangers every day you deserve a private place where you can feel relax and enjoy yourself with your friends without your wife yelling at you to keep it down."The truth was that Maura knew how independant Jane has always been and that as much as she loved her and their son she needed her own place to relax and forget all the responsabilities being a mother and a lead Detective implied.

"I think this has been the best Christmas, hell the best year of my life all because of the two of you."Holding her wife and son in her arms Jane was grateful because despite everything bad that had happened they were finally having their happy ending and knew that the years to come would bring as many surprises and accomplishments.

"Well how about we get back inside it's a bit chilly here."

"And you want your gift right?"Jane replied following her taking one last look at her new man cave.

"Yes, but I'm sure that what ever you got me is going to be great."

Following Maura through their backyards all the way to their bedroom Jane was a bit nervous. After seeing how much thought and money Maura had spent on her gift she was hoping her gift would be good enough.

"Alright here you go. I hope you're going to like it."Handing a large box to her wife biting her botom lip Jane was hoping Maura would appreciate the gift.

"I'm sure I will. Oh Jane this is a..."Ripping off the paper around the box, opening it Maura's jaw almost drop on the floor as her eyes laid on her gift.

"It's a civil war surgeon set in its original leather case. You said you wanted to redecorate our house at our image, well I figured this would great in your office or on the mantle."

"Jane, this is very thoughtful, it's in prestige condition, this must have cost you a fortune."Maura mumbled roaming her fingers on the different instruments almost scared of picking one up.

"Yeah, don't worry bout' that I married well. " Smiling Jane could see on her wife's face how great her idea turned out to be and feared that it was gonna be hard for her to top that gift for her birthday.

"Thank you. I love it."

That morning right after a quick breakfast Maura spent several hours explaining the history and use for each instrument telling stories about surgeries performed during the civil to Jane and Louis who tried their best not to fall asleep or be disgusted.

That day the little family enjoyed themselves, playing the the snow drinking egg nog, eating home made cookies free from any drama or work related worries.

Despite knowing that live was never perfect and that drama would probably knock on their door again Jane and Maura were trying to enjoy the present moment without worrying about the future. They knew that no matter what obstacle or challenge destiny would give them they would always overcome them because they loved, trusted and supported each other. As a family they were stronger than they had ever been before and knew that nothing would never able to break them appart as long as they were together.

**So guys I decided to skip the Christmas dinner and to only mention it. Since I wrote the Thanksgiving dinner and had them give speeches it would have been redundant to do it again and to express how they felt…again.**

**I hope you enjoyed the presents they gave to each great is Jane's man cave, seriously?And I think the surgical kit was a nice gesture...**

**Also I know in reality the adoption would take longer and that a passport takes at least 6 weeks to get(at least here in the uk) but hey this is fiction and it's Christmas lol.**

**New story lines and plot coming in the new few chapters with a possible fast forward but I'm not revealing anything :) I want to keep you guessing and interested ;)**


	38. Happy Valentine's day

**Chapter 38 :**

**Valentine's day :**

Today was the most romantic day of the year, well at least it was for Maura.

Despite having the support of their parents who were more than happy to baby sit little Louis when ever they needed adjusting to Jane's return to work wasn't as easy as they thought it would be.

Jane had made drastic changes and efforts since day one to be home at more reasonable hours and not to work on weeks and so far was keeping her engagements and was a devoted and present wife and mother.

The thing Maura and Jane had not foreseen was the psychological effects going back to work would have on Jane and the consequences it would have on their sex life.

All her carrer Jane had struggled to be accepted by the guys in her team and had made it her personal mission to surround herself with a brick wall and to keep her emotions for herself. She wanted to prove she was though enough to work homicide and for the past 10 years had succeeded. Even after being kidnapped by Hoyt and being dramatically damaged by what he had done to her Jane had managed to continue working and had somehow rose from her ashes like a phoenix and built an armor around her heart.

She had decided that neither Hoyt or any other criminal would ever take her strength and determination away. What she never suspected though was the her son would.

Becoming her mother somehow gave her motivation to become a better cop and to put more bad guys behind bars but it also made her see things differently.

For every child that was murdered she started to imagine Louis on the autopsy table and when she interviewed parents she could not help but thinking it could be her and Maura on the other side mourning her son.

So when Jane came home, she spent every single minute with her son, talking to him, cuddling, making sure he was happy and that he knew how much she loved him.

At first Maura didn't object because she knew how much Jane missed him when she was at work and that becoming a mother made her see things from a different point of view. Unfortunately after a couple of months she started to feel neglected.

After putting Louis to bed at night Jane was too tired to make love or to even cuddle or talk and Maura was started to feel frustrated because she was unable to reach out to her wife who refused to talk about it.

Luckily for her Maura was not the kind of person who would just give up and she was determined to make sure Jane and her spent a romantic and sexy valentine's day just the two of them.

To achieve that she had dropped Louis at Angela's new place in the morning and went shopping for new underwear, perfume, candles and a few toys she was hoping would help re ignite the flame.

After coming home from her shopping right after lunch Maura immediately started to work on the decoration of their bedroom trying to make it as romantic and peaceful as possible.

Once she was done she just in the shower, shaved, washed her hair and spent a good hour fixing her hair before sliding in those sexy underwear she had bought and that very tight and shirt dress she knew Jane was going to love.

On the other side of town Jane was at her desk finishing her report, at least she was trying to.

"So do guys have plan for tonight?"Frost asked trying not to get any dirty pictures in his head.

"Yeah, Maura dropped Louis at my mom's this morning. I don't know what she had planned but I know I probably won't get any rest tonight."Jane replied rolling her eyes.

"And that's a bad thing because?"Frost asked wondering why Jane was so reluctant to go home and make love to her gorgeous wife.

"It's just… When I come home I'm night I'm exhausted and all I want is to spend time with my son and then go to bed. He's not here tonight so I was hoping I would just take a long bath and sleep a couple of more hours than I usually do but Maura has other plans you know."

"Well I get that you are tired, trust me I am as well but you and Maura are married and as much as she loves you and as understanding as she is your marriage is important and you should not neglect her."

"I know. I just..I feel that ever since I gave birth I take everything more personally. Ever kid I see on the autopsy table is Louis and I see us in every single parent we notify and when I came home I just don't have it me to have sex with her. I know it's awful but I just…"

"I understand how you feel partner but you need to compartmentalize more or at least tell her how you feel instead of just pushing her away. You know Maura is strong and that she loves you and she would do anything to help you if you let her."

"I know. I have to learn to leave work at work and if I'm not able to not to be scared to talk to her about it. Actually I'm sure that she spent the morning shopping for sexy underwear and that right now she's probably doing her hair picturing everything she wants to do to me tonight. I'm such an ass. I'm married to the most gorgeous, devoted, patient woman on earth and I'm screwing it up."Cupping her face with both hand rubbing it vigorously Jane had this feeling of being a screw up once again, that she had a perfect life and that she was ruining it.

"Then just go home to your wife and show her how much you love her. Paperwork can wait. God knows you have a sharp memory so your report will be as accurate tomorrow."Standing up pulling Jane's report from her desk closing it looking down at her Frost was determined to make sure Jane went home and enjoyed herself. Work could wait.

"You're right. Actually I stopped by that store she likes so much this morning and I bought her a little something."Jane replied biting her bottom lip.

"See, you do want to spend a romantic night with her. Don't try to deny it!Just go home, have dinner, a nice bath with her and stop thinking about work and I will see you tomorrow." Frost smiled handing her jacket.

"Thanks partner,don't stay too late right?"

"Nope, I have plans too. See ya." Watching Jane's walking away Frost had a feeling that somehow he managed to get through to her and considering how sick her armor was and stubborn she was knew he had accomplished something hard.

Driving home that night Jane started thinking about her conversation with Frost and knew that he was right: she had to leave work at the station and focus 100% on her family when at home.

She also realized that there was nothing to be ashamed off, that Maura had been there too and that talking to her about it would not make her weak. She knew that she could tell her everything regarding work, that she understood her because she had been on the job for years.

That was the thing with Maura, not only she understood Jane professionally but also on a personal level and even if it scared Jane a bit, to be with someone with a direct connection to her brain and heart but it felt good to be able to be herself without feeling weak.

Stepping out of her car, the gift she had got Maura in her hand Jane took a deep breath and starting to picture her wife naked in bed on top of her hoping it would help her get in the mood.

Smiling at the thought Jane stepped into their house immediately stroke by a sent of this delicious perfume to their bedroom Jane was immediately overwhelmed as she saw the dozens of candles Maura had lit her and spread all over the room and the rose petals she had thrown on the floor and on their bed.

Roaming her eyes around Jane's attention was caught by the view of Maura casually reading a book on their bed wearing a black silk robe with god knew what underneath.

"Now that's a view I would pay to come home to every night."Jane said walking towards the bed.

"You're home and you're baring gifts."Maura replied her eyes immediately caught on the small bag Jane was holding.

"Yes. But first I wanted to apologize for being such an ass over the past couple of months."Taking her shoes off before climbing in bed next to her wife Jane knew she had making up to do before she could show her how sorry she was.

"It's alright. I understand that going back for you wasn't easy, that being away from us isn't easy. Would you like to talk about it?"The truth was that Maura was hurt that Jane had been pushing her away for the past two months and was avoiding talking about what was troubling her. She thought that after all they went through Jane had decided to get rid of that armor she had been wearing all her life, at least with her.

"I just…Every kid I see dead is Louis and every parent I notify is me or you. I know I should compartmentalize and leave work at the station but when I come home once Louis is asleep ..I just, I'm just thinking about those kids and those parents and I'm just not capable of anything else. I'm sorry Maur'."Sliding closer to Maura positioning her head on her chest listening to her heart beat Jane was giving in for the first time in months.

"I understand. Becoming a mother changes you and I understand that you start to project yourself or our son in your victims. It's perfectly natural. Before we had a son you were on the job to keep this city safe to make sure that the next generations live in a better and safer world but now that you have a child you fight for a very personal reason and projecting yourself I think that being able to relate to your victims or their loved ones is going to make you a better Detective. But you're right, you need to be able to leave work at work and to be ours when you're here but it takes time. I understand and I'm here to help you alright?"Maura replied stroking Jane's hair with her finger kissing the top of her head.

"Thank you. I promise I'll make more efforts though. I really really don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to be able to go home and enjoy our son and enjoy my gorgeous wife without having images of dead kids in my head. Speaking of gorgeous wife. Open it."Jane said rising her hand handing the small bag to Maura.

"Thank you. Oh Jane this is…"Opening the bag Maura found a cartier box and when she opened it found a particular item she had had her eyes on for quite some time.

"It's the Cartier watch you had been lurking on for weeks. Do you like it?"Sitting up in bed pulling the watch of its box Jane's heart literally melted as she saw the big smile that small box brought on her wife's face.

"You shouldn't have really, that's a three thousand dollar watch Jane and it's not even my birthday."Maura replied pushing the watch around her wrist.

"Well I might not be into those kind of celebrations but I know how important Valentines' day is for you and I wanted to give you something special to remind you that you're my girl and that I love you very very much."

"You're sweet. You're right Valentines' day has always been a day that I looked forward to but ever since we started dating I don't feel the desire to celebrate it anymore because with you it feels like it's valentine's day every day Jane."The truth was that despite feeling sexually frustrated for the past couple of months Jane was still the more devoted and kind person she ever dated and despite being married was always trying to seduce her with flowers, chocolate or movie nights and it made Maura feel special every single time she looked into her wife's eyes.

"Same here baby, so what do you got for me?"Roaming her fingers on her silk Jane knew that Maura had something kinky in mind and was already salivating at the thought.

"How about you go jump in the shower and I will give you your present afterwards."

"Alright."Pressing her lips against Maura Jane was eager to find out what crazy fantasy she had in mind.

15 minutes later after a quick shower Jane joined Maura back in their bedroom only wearing a black robe and sleepers.

When she stepped into their love nest she was surprised to find Maura in the same position but with a large box at her feet.

"Is that my gift?"Jane asked pulling the box towards her.

"Well it's a gift for both of us actually. Open it."Keeping her finger crossed Maura was eager waiting for Jane's reaction. Despite being perfectly comfortable with their sexuality they had never talked about that particular fantasy.

"Oh, that's a very nice toy you got here babe."Opening the large box revealing a thick pink dildo Jane wasn't surprised. She always new Maura was adventurous and loved to experience new things particularly in the bedroom and had been waiting for her to ask her use one of those toys to please her.

"Yes it as 3 different speeds and it rotates too but if you want you can you it as a simple strap on by attaching those leather strings here."Pulling the strap on out of the box Maura started to manipulating it very naturally. Jane and her were married after all and there was nothing she should be ashamed or afraid to ask her.

"It's pretty fancy, I'll give you that. I hope you trust me not to hurt you. I promise I'll be gentle."Jane replied leaning over to kiss Maura eager to pull that dildo up her legs and make her wife sees stars.

"Hold on Jane. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear but I'm the one wearing it not you."Maura objected breaking the stars catching a peek inside Jane's robe licking her lip in anticipation.

"Oh…"Almost falling backwards Jane was surprised by Maura's request and knew by looking into her eyes that this was not negotiable but didn't know if she was willing to allow Maura to let her use that thing on her.

"Jane look at me. I know how proud you are and that you enjoy "being the guy" and being the head of the house, opening doors for me, pulling my chair, protecting us, providing for us and this would not take any of this from you. I love you, we're married and I'm convinced that we're comfortable enough in our marriage to talk about our desires and fantasies and comfortable enough with our sexuality and bodies to realize them."Maura replied holding both Jane's hand keeping her from moving away from her. She knew that once again this was all about control for Jane and she needed her to loosen up a bit.

"I'm sorry if you feel that I always need to be in charge especially in bed but when I was pregnant and up until I went back to work you were the one who took care of me and protected us. I felt that the roles were reversed and I didn't like it at first because I felt weak but I got used to it. Actually I love how carrying you are and I feel safe in your arms. But now all I'm trying to do is to be the woman you fell in love with, who's strong carrying and protective. I'm not trying to dominate you or anything and I'm sure that I'm going to love what ever you're planning on doing to me with that thing."Crawling towards Maura Jane realized that her wife was right, that she always had this need to be the dominant and strong one but knew that they were beyond that now. They were married and things had change and she didn't need to overpower or dominate Maura because she knew she could trust her that she would never hurt her and that she didn't need to wear the armor with her.

"I know you're not trying to dominate me Jane. Now this to go. I'm going to fuck you so hard that you're going to loose consciousness ."Maura replied almost ripping Jane's robe apart before flipping her naked body and climbing on top of her.

"Humm, okay."Laying back on her silk pillow Jane was shocked that Maura would used such a crude language but also excited, not that she was ever bored when they made love but she had a feeling that Maura was going to loose it and she could not wait.

Sitting on top of Jane looking down at her seeing the desire in her eyes Maura knew that Jane was completely trusting her and was eager to make her see stars.

Taking her black robe off revealing her naked body Maura tossed it on the floor before grabbing the strap on, attached her around her waist and took a quick look at it licking her lips in anticipation before leaning over to kiss Jane.

Ever since they first starting having sex their love making session had been passionate but very gentle, tender because at first she didn't want to hurt Jane or their baby but also because they enjoyed taking their time, exploring, teasing each other but tonight Maura didn't want to play. She had been frustrated for several weeks and had been building up so much desire that she could not hold inside anymore.

So as she started to kiss her, literally devouring her mouth and her tongue Maura settled between Jane's legs, parting them and reached out directly for her clitoris.

"God you're already so wet."Tickling Jane's clitoris with her middle finger Maura could feel the warmth streaming down the palm of her hand.

"For you…Always."Jane replied bucking her hips against Maura's hand hinting that she was ready for more, right now.

Smirking at Jane's encouragement Maura moved her hips a bit and positioned the tip of the dildo on Jane's entrance and started to caress it softly.

Parting her lips Maura started to ghost kisses on Jane's jaw all the way to her neck while still stroking Jane's labia with the tip of the dildo.

Feeling her heart hammering her chest eager for more Jane started to roam her hands on Maura's back all the way to her ass before grabbing it with both hands, bucking her hips while pulling Maura closer to her Jane let out a deep moan as she felt the dildo penetrating her entirely.

"I knew you wanted it but I had no idea how much you wanted it."Surprised by Jane's sudden excess of initiative Maura started to thrust inside her ass deep as she could determined to give Jane what she wanted.

"Oh God…"Jane panted arching her back as she felt the sick object thrusting inside of her. It was long and thick but Jane swallowed it without flinching.

Feeling her own arousal rise as she felt Jane's hand pressing on her back side asking her to thrust harder Maura started to thrust as hard and deep as she could before pulled out as slowly as possible.

Thrusting back and forth using her hips Maura gave herself completely, Jane was tight, very tight indeed and every thrust despite the fact that she was swamped was almost a struggle forcing Maura to plunged hard and deeper inside her wife.

Laying on her back trying to follow the rhythm of Maura's thrusts with her hips Jane as she felt the dildo filling her up felt overwhelmed. Her head was pounding, her breathing was short and her heart was hammering her chest.

"Now I want you on your knees so I can go deeper and make you come hard."Maura ordered as she suddenly pulled the dildo out of Jane swollen folds.

Nodding, swallowing hard Jane simply flipped around and positioned herself on her knees her hands at both sides of the pillow.

Facing the head board of the bed Jane barely had the time to take a deep breath before she felt Maura's hands grabbing both sides and of hips and the dildo thrusting inside her deeper than earlier.

"OH GOD!"Jane panted burying her head in the pillow, clenching her fingers around the shits.

"You like that a baby?"Maura smirked tightening her fingers around Jane's flesh pulling her hips around the dildo as hard as she could.

"FUCK!"Bitting her pillow feeling the dildo deepening inside her Jane was over the edge.

Over excited by Jane's moans Maura intensified her thrusts by accelerating the movements of her hips literally banging against Jane.

For the next hour or so Maura fucked Jane as hard, as deep as she could unleashing all the desires she had kept inside for so long. She fucked her over and over feeling her coming multiples times around the thick dildo feeling her shiver under her touch, stimulating her clitoris to increase her pleasure.

Maura was in charge, she was the one calling the shots and when Jane begged her to stopped after coming a forth time finally decided to oblige and pulled the dildo out of Jane's dripping folds feeling her collapsing below her.

"Happy valentines' day my love."Collapsing on top of Jane who was now lying on her belly Maura was lacking words. This had been good and she could not wait to do it again.

"Yeah…"Jane breathed on feeling the weight of Maura's body pressing against her back. Trying to calm herself down Jane could feel the warmth streaming down her folds and it hurt a little.

Today she had allowed Maura to be in charge and to unleash her desires and she didn't regret it because even if her inner thighs were burning she had never come that hard in her entire life.

**Alright guys you know me sex is never just about sex. Jane needed to address her control issues and her desire to be the guy right?**

**Also I found it realistic that becoming her mother would make it hard for her not to take her job personally and that she wouldn't be able to compartmentalize more and that it would affect her private life.**

**I hope you enjoyed the sex scene. Just for once I wanted them to fuck as opposed to make love and to make Maura the dominant one instead of just laying back and take it you know?**

**Next chapter : new plot but I won't say another word.**

**As usual feedback feeds and inspires me :) As the story will fast forward in the next chapter and a new plot is coming new ideas are welcome!**

**thank you guys!**


	39. Louis' first day of school

**Chapter 39 :**

**Louis' first day of school : **

Three years and a half had passed and things had changed a lot in the life of the Isles family.

Two months ago following Korsak's retirement Jane had presented herself to the Sergent's exam and had passed with flying colors. Now she was in charge of being the link between Cavanaugh and her team. Speaking of team Frankie Jr was now Frost's partner and despite being kept out of the field most of the time Jane was trying to teach him the ropes just like Korsak did years ago.

At first Jane was frustrating, not being able to go interrogate suspects or follow lead on the fields to stay at the station and supervise everything but as the weeks passed Jane realized that her new position allowed her not only to be a leader but to do things her way and that her new rank allowed her to speak up in front of the Captain when needed.

At home things had changed as well. Angela had finally moved out and Maura had slowly learned to enjoy being on her own with baby Louis.

At first being as stay home mom without Angela to entertain her was not easy especially with a toddler who spent most of his days sleeping.

Luckily as Louis got older and started to talk things got more interesting.

Even if he had inherited many of Jane's trades like her stubbornness or her loud voice he had also inherited Maura's mind and was just like her when she was a child a very bright little boy who was always asking questions and eager to go out and explore the world with his mommy.

Actually Louis' colorful personality had helped Maura to open herself to strangers like for example the other mommies at the park.

At first she would just stay on a bench far away from them with a book while Louis would play with other children but after a while started to get closer to them and to her big surprise became friends with a group of 3 other mommies whose children were born around the same date as her Louis.

At first Maura who has always been socially awkward would just sit next to them without participating in their conversation but slowly started to open up and after a couple of months was having play dates at her place and would bring Louis to the other kids' homes to play as well.

Life was good, after a challenging start Jane, Maura and Louis had finally found their way and were now one big happy family.

Speaking of family Maura's parents kept their promise and had transferred the family business' head quarters from New-York to Boston and despite traveling a lot were two very present and warm grand parents.

The good with having her parents and Angela in town was that Maura and Jane were able to leave Louis with when ever they wanted or needed time alone. Actually the couple had started this "wednesday date" tradition which allowed them to go out to dinner or a movie and come home and make love all night every single wednesday regardless of how busy Jane was.

Actually despite being busy Jane always made sure to be home for dinner or at least bed time and was particularly found of those few minutes before putting her son to bed where she got to tell him stories about this super cop who spent her days catching bad guys.

Despite spending his days with Maura little Louis was very close to Jane and looked up to her.

To him his mama was some kind of super hero defending the weaks and could never get bored of listening to her tales.

Yes as tricky as it was first Jane and Maura had found the perfect balance between Jane being a bad ass cop and being caring parents without neglecting their marriage.

Little Louis was not almost 4 years old and today was his first of pre school. After discussing it Jane had convinced Maura that it was better to send him to public school for now, that sending him to a strict private school might block his desire to learn if strict discipline was imposed to him at a too young age. After thinking about it Maura agreed but insisted that he would be sent to the same private elementary school she attended once he would be in first grade, compromise that Jane was happy to make.

"Do you think he's alright in there?"Sitting on the arm of their couch her arms crossed on her chest Maura was eagerly waiting for Louis to come out off the bathroom and see what outfit he had picked.

"I'm sure he's fine but he's definitely an Isles. Gee, he's been in there for the past thirty minutes!Louis how much longer do you need?We're waiting for you here!"Jane yelled looking at her watch nervously tapping her foot on the floor.

"It's only half past seven and the school is a ten minutes walk. Just give him some time, he wants to make a good impression."

"I know, I know, ah…here's the man of the day."Jane replied immediately covering her mouth with her hand as she saw her 4 year old son coming out of the bathroom wearing a straight pair of black trousers, a white shirt under a dark polo and a fancy velvet blazer.

"How do I look?I didn't know what shoes to take. Will you help me mommy?"Louis asked proudly walking towards his mothers.

"Oh sweetheart, you're so handsome, right Jane?Isn't he handsome?"Kneeling in front of her son, passing her hand through his hair Maura was amazed by how tastefully he had chose his clothes.

"Yeah, you look…great. Actually you look just like your grand father."Jane replied faking a smile.

"Really?You hear that mommy?I look like grand pa!"Louis enthusiastically replied clapping his hands has his face lit up at the compliment.

"That wasn't a compliment son…"

"Jane!"Maura replied sending her a disapproving look.

"I'm sorry. Look, you're going to school not to the opera. You do not need to wear anything fancy but clothes you're comfortable on because you know you're probably play around and get all dirty."Jane replied trying not to offend the little guy who had obviously spend a lot of time working on his look.

"But I'm comfortable in this. Can I wear this to school?Please mommy, I promise I won't spoil my white shirt please pretty please."Louis pouted.

"Of course. You can wear what ever you want to school. Don't worry your mother never approved of the way us Isles dress."Maura replied standing up carrying him in her arms.

"You know mama, grand pa says that when you go to a new place and meet new people you always have to look well because you represent the family." Louis replied looking at Jane .

"Alright. I give up. It's two of you guys against me. I can not win. But just so you know you're handsome what ever you wear, you're my son and us Rizzoli are irresistible anyway, even dressed like that."

"Yes mama, that's what uncle Frankie says, but if you don't mind I would like mommy to help me pick up my shoes."

"Of course not, I will stay here and wait."Jane replied falling back on the couch.

"Thank you darling, it shouldn't take long." Maura replied as she walked away towards Louis' room.

A few minutes later as Maura was going through his shoes Louis stood back obviously concerned.

"Mommy, can I ask you something?"Little Louis asked not knowing who to express his concern.

"Sure. Come here."Maura replied sitting on the floor inviting him to sit on her lap.

"Thank you. Well…I'm not sure I want to go to school. I know I'm going to learn a lot of cool things but I don't know if I'm going to make friends. What if nobody likes me mommy?"

"Oh sweetheart. Remember what you mama said : you're a Rizzoli and it seems that you inherited her irresistible charm, look how popular you're when we're at the park. I'm sure that you're going to make lots of new friends." Seeing the insecurity in her son's eyes Maura remembered voicing the same worries on her first day of school and her father telling her that she was an Isles, that she was destined for greatness and that if other children didn't understand that it just meant that they weren't worthy of her friendship.

"But the park is different mommy. School is for growing ups. I don't know mommy, did you have a lot of friends when you were at school?"Little Louis pouted desperately looking for some reassurance.

"Not really. I was shy and I wasn't comfortable talking with other children."Maura replied trying to be as appropriate as possible as not to scare him.

"Why?"

"Because I always felt a bit different, I thought differently than the rest of my class mates . I knew they would not able to understand the thoughts that were going through my mind so I stayed aside because I didn't want them to make fun of me you know."

"I understand, you were smarter than all of them combined. Grand pa says I'm as smart as you and mama and that I'm destined for greatness just like you two and that I should never be ashamed of who I am because I'm an Isles and a Rizzoli too and we are exceptional."Seeing the sad look on his mommy's face Louis wrapped his arms around her and tried to cheer her up the best he knew how.

"Your grand father is right. You are a very smart little boy but unlike me at your age, you're very good when it comes to talk to people so I'm sure you will have no problem talking to other children, alright?"Maura replied whipping a tear off the corner of her eyes.

"Oh mommy don't cry. Please…"Louis replied tightening his arms around her.

"I'm sorry. I'm just so proud of you. You know I was there when you were born. I held you in my arms, I fed you, bathed you,dressed you and now you're all grown up."

"No I'm not and I still need you mommy. I will need you for ever I promise."Louis replied rubbing his mother's back.

Standing a few feet away Jane was witnessing that scene with nostalgia. Maura was right. It just seemed like yesterday when they came home from the hospital holding him or when he said his first word. Yes looking at them Jane knew that this was the beginning of a new era, that their little boy was growing up and that soon he would be making his own decisions, living his own life and one thing was sure : this day would never come slow enough.

Half an hour later Maura Jane and Louis were standing in front of the preschool.

"Well son, remember , you're a Rizzoli and an Isles and not only we're charming but we're strong but if you need anything at all just ask the teacher alright? It's okay to miss us."Kneeling in front of her son trying to keep a straight face Jane was in reality as emotional about letting him fly by himself as Maura was.

"I'm sure I'm going to be okay but can you take care of mommy for me today?You know this isn't easy for her and I don't want her to be by herself."Louis replied pointing out to Maura who was sobbing.

"I'll be fine darling, now go before I take you back home and lock you in your room until you're 18."Maura replied giving one last kiss.

"Okay. Goodbye mommies I will see you tonight!"Louis replied before running of as he suddenly saw one of his friends from the park.

"When did he get so smart and mature?"Jane frowned impressed by how adult and carrying he was behaving.

"I think between the 4th of July and your mom's birthday." Maura replied snaking her arms around her.

"Yeah, come on let's go home."Jane replied pulling Maura towards their car.

That morning Jane and Maura settled in a long chair in their backyard enjoying the sweet weather watching pictures of the past 4 years : Louis' first steps, first word, his first tooth…

Sliding their fingers on their iPad going through the hundreds of pictures and videos the two women were split between being sad and proud.

For the past 4 years they had enjoyed their son keeping him mostly to themselves and knew how much he look up to them. Now that Louis was going to school they were scared that finally evolving in the real world Louis was going to be confronted to all the things they worked so hard to protect him from : hate, discrimination, betrayal, crime, disappointment, failure..

Unfortunately the two women knew that as parents they job was to teach him how to speak, walk and to give him the tools to face the real world but they knew that despite all their love and support Louis was going to stumble, hurt himself and that they would not always be here to protect him.

Luckily for both of them they trusted their parental skills and the education they had given him. They had raised him to be aware of the world they were living in without scaring him and taught him to be careful without being paranoid, to help people without allowing them to take advantage of him and never to be scared to ask for help.

Yes Jane and Maura had did their best to teach him the nuance between right and wrong and could only hope that their advice would be useful.

**Flash back :**

_"Come on Jane. Let me put him to bed first."Maura said uncomfortably laying on the couch Jane on top of her feeling her tongue ticking her neck ._

_"You're right, I don't want him to see what I'm planning on doing to you cause he might be scarred for life."Jane replied as she gave Maura's bottom a quick bite before pulling her right hand from under her blouse._

_Sitting up on top of an already aroused Maura Jane took a quick look behind the couch hoping to find Louis playing with Joe Friday but to her big surprise he was indeed playing with another four legged creature._

_"Oh MY GOD!Maura look!"Jumped on the other side of the couch pulling up her phone off her pocket to take a picture Jane's heart almost stopped when she saw little Louis riding Bass like a horse._

_"OH NO!Louis!How did you even get on his shell?"Bouncing out off the couch before running towards her beloved pet to rescue him Maura's heart broke a little for the poor tortoise._

_"No wait let me shoot a short video!"Jane objected grabbing Maura's arm keeping her from ruining her video._

_"Alright. Oh poor baby. And no we are not buying a saddle Jane, don't even think about it!"Maura groaned crossing her arms on her chest taping her foot on the floor._

_"Hey Louis, look at me sweetheart, oh the two of you are so cute together. You know there is a high chance that he's going to outlive us so I'm glad you're getting along."Jane replied ignoring Maura's comment before picking her son up freeing Bass._

_"Well he's definitely your son."Maura said narrowing her eyebrows as she kneeled in front of Bass checking him for any visible injury._

_"You do realize that if he had not wanted Louis to climb on his back he would have kept him from doing it, right?You know how he groans at Joe Friday when she tries to play with him and he doesn't want to. Bass is perfectly capable of escaping our son if he wants to, so don't worry."_

_"I know. Bass is my baby too and I get over protective but I know that I raised my other baby to be gentle with other living creatures right?"Maura replied holding Louis' little hand kissing it softly._

**SO guys I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. I feel that it's like a new story but I didn't want to start a sequel :)**

**I'm starting fresh here you know with a new plot to be developed in the next chapter. I know that in most stories Jane is always the one close to the kid, that people write Maura socially awkward even with her own kids and I wrote her like that once but this story is about switching the roles, Jane getting pregnant, Maura taking care of her etc... So I want her relationship with Louis to be different than everything I wrote or you have read before if I can.**

**Also I think I might try to end every chapter with a short flash back, that would give you an inside into what happened during those 4 years.**

**That's a great idea right?**

**To the Anon who said that this story should have ended a long time ago, well I'm inspired so I'll continue and beside you're still reading so it's probably not that bad :)**

**By the way how cute is that kid?Damn...**


	40. Desires

**Hi guys, so email notifications have been down for two days but it's seem to be back to normal now.**

**I'm sure a lot of my usual readers missed this chapter so I upload it again now.**

**This is different, maybe a bit too much but I need you to trust me and bare with me. I know what I'm doing.**

**I really need your feedback on this one, it only takes a few seconds to drop a review guys :)**

**This is a new start for this story and I have many ideas...**

**Chapter 40 :**

**Desires :**

Lying down in their favorite long chair enjoying the sun on her face and Jane's arms around her Maura started to think about all the things they said they would do once Louis would start school. How Jane would run home in the middle of the day and how they would have sex on the couch or how she would be able to go on a shopping spree without having to worry about Louis being impatient about going home.

Yes there was a lot things that they would now be able to do now that Louis was going to school but there was one thing Maura had been looking forward for years and that she could not keep inside anymore.

"So, I have been thinking."Maura shyly said wandering her fingers on Jane's forearms not knowing how to bring up the subject.

"Dr Isles has been thinking."Jane replied amused by Maura's shyness.

"I'm serious Jane!"Maura replied slightly elbowing Jane in the stomach with a feeling that she was not in a mood to talk about serious subject but not willing to postpone this conversation anymore.

"Alright tell me…"Clearing her throat, gathering her thoughts Jane could see that Maura was serious and was hoping she wasn't in any kind of trouble.

"Well over the past few months I have been feeling different... inside. I have been having those desires that I can not ignore anymore."Taking a deep breath, her hand on her belly Maura was trying to find the perfect words to describe how she was feeling in the deepest part of her body.

"You mean sexual desires?"

"No. I'm talking about maternal desires Jane. "

"Oh…"Jane mumbled moving up on the chair losing her grip on her wife in the process.

"Yes. I think my internal clock has started ticking. Of course I have always wanted to carry a child but since this summer I have been feeling this visceral need to procreate, it's overwhelming Jane. It's almost an thirst that I have in my heart, my bones, my womb you know, it's very powerful."Turning around Maura was suddenly overwhelmed by a vivid heat wave going through her entire body as she finally voiced her desire out loud for the first time.

"Well wanting to have a child is perfectly natural but you didn't seem to have this physical desire before…"The truth was that Jane was very aware of Maura's desire to have another child and had noticed the change in Maura's behavior for the past few months but was hoping it was just a phase but unfortunately it looked like it wasn't and she was gonna have to face her wife's desires.

"No. I think that I was overwhelmed with Louis at home and I knew that it wasn't realistically possible to have a second child without neglecting him but ever since we visited the pre school I started to realize that, by having him at school I would be more available to carry and raise another child and I think that this realization just opened the door to this desire I had buried for so many years."

"Alright but…it's really not a good time Maura. I mean I just got promoted two months ago and I'm swamped really."Jane replied knowing that it would take more than that to convince Maura that the time wasn't right and to dissuade her to pursue this project.

"Well, you'll learn to make compromises Jane, like we both did when you got pregnant."Maura replied gently rubbing Jane's knee knowing that doing this all over again was scaring but she was willing to prove to her that by being a team and supporting each other there was no reason for them to fail or to loose themselves by having another child.

"You don't understand Maura. Having a child and take another 6 months maternity leave now would be a career suicide. I'm in charge but I have to prove myself and stepping out now would definitely not show the Captain how devoted I am to my job."

"No, but it would show how devoted you are to your family."

"Come on Maura, don't play that card. You know I'm devoted to you guys. I'm just not willing to do that all over again. I mean if you get pregnant you're gonna need constant care and attention that I won't be able to give you now. So let's wait a couple of years until things settle down at work and then we'll talk about it again."Leaning over to reach out for Maura's hand Jane was hoping to slow her down, that she would accept to wait and eventually give up the idea of having another child.

"No!"Maura hollered pulling her hand away before bouncing out of the long chair.

"What no?"

"No, you don't understand Jane. I don't want a child, I need one. It's like my womb is burning, hitching , it's like a calling that I can not ignore anymore and besides I'm almost 39 which is already borderline age limit to conceive a child without going through fertility treatment or risking having a child with congenital diseases.."

"I understand that need and that calling you feel from the inside because I felt it when I was pregnant but we're not having a child right now. I'm sorry."Standing up trying to reach out to her wife again Jane could see how important this was to her and it broke her heart to have to say no to her.

"I can not believe you would do that, that you would put your career first when I quit the job studied and trained for 12 years to raise our son!"Feeling the blood literally burning in her veins Maura was enraged. After all she had sacrificed for her and their family, putting all her ambitions and dreams aside for them she could not believe that Jane was going to deny her the right to for once act on her desires.

"Maura, wait, where are you going?"Jane said grabbing her wrist.

"I promised our son to make him his favorite crumble."Escaping Jane's grip walking towards the kitchen Maura had to fight the tears rushing to her eyes.

After all they had been through for the past 10 years Maura thought she knew her better but she was wrong, Louis was an accident and it was clear that having children was never something Jane had wanted.

So that afternoon Maura baked Louis' favorite crumble the way she had learnt in boarding school, then prepared his favorite dinner, did some laundry, some ironing, cleaned the house.

Yes that afternoon Maura played the perfect housewives, again, like almost every day for the past 4 years despite having other desires and hopes she was putting her marital and maternal duties first.

Later that day the two women despite not talking to each other brought little Louis home, sat him down at the dinner table and listened to him telling them everything about his first day at school. Barely able to look at Jane in the eyes Maura was trying her best to pay attention without bursting into tears.

Sitting at his usual spot eating his crumble with his glass of milk Little Louis could feel that the atmosphere was tensed and that his mommy was sad and thought it was because of him, because he had left her alone.

"Why are you sad mommy?I had fun today and I made friends just like you said."Little Louis said wiping his mouth.

"I'm not sad sweetie. I'm proud of you. If you would excuse me for a second. I need to go to the bathroom."Maura replied kissing her son's forehead before rushing towards the bathroom unwilling to burst into tears in front of me.

"Hey sweetie how about you finish your crumble and after that you and I could play some basket ball hum?"Watching her wife running away Jane knew she was hurt, not offended, but truly deeply hurt in what was most natural and important for a woman : her desire to carry a child and she didn't knew how she could make her forgive her and make it up to her without having to agree to have another child.

"What did you do to my mommy?"Louis asked rising his voice as he bounced out of his chair throwing his towel on the table.

"Excuse me?"Jane frowned.

"Last time she was that sad was because you had to work for her birthday and you arrived so late that you missed the cake!"Louis replied his fist clenched on both sides on his hips.

"Your mommy and I had a fight but don't worry I will make it up to her alright?"Taking a step towards her son Jane could see the pain but also anger on his face.

"NO!I'm going to comfort her not you!Stay way from my mommy!"Louis yelled rushing towards the bathroom.

"Well done Jane!"Jane said to herself kicking the chair sending it at the other end of the kitchen.

"Mommy, mommy can I come in?"Louis shyly said as he opened the bathroom door finding Maura sitting on the floor leaning against the bathtub.

"Oh baby, what are you doing here?"Maura mumbled trying to wipe away the tears of her face.

"I came for you mommy. Are you okay?"Walking towards his mommy, seeing she had being crying Little Louis started to hate Jane knowing she was the one who caused this pain.

"Yes. I'm sorry."Pulling her son against her holding him tight Maura was grateful to have him now that she knew that Jane didn't want her to get pregnant.

Knowing that they probably would have never had any children if Louis hadn't happened Maura suddenly felt grateful that Dean seduced her and took advantage of her. Unfortunately as much as she loved Louis she didn't know if he would be enough, if being his mother would be able to feed her enough so she wouldn't feel that need anymore.

"I'm sorry mama made you sad but I'm here mommy. I love you so so so much."Little Louis whispered tightening is little arms around his mommy's neck.

"I know, thank you. Hey how about we call your grand parents on Skype?Remember she is out of town but you promised them to call to tell them about your day."Standing up holding her son in her arms Maura was amazed by how protective and comforting just like Jane actually.

"Yes. I have a lot of things to tell them!" Louis replied clapping in his hands.

"Let's go in my office then."Walking towards the door, opening it Maura almost froze as she saw Jane leaning against the opposite wall, her hands tossed in her pockets.

"Maur'."Jane said taking a step towards them.

"Not now Jane."Maura replied feeling little Louis burying his head in her neck.

"Okay."Walking towards their bedroom holding her tears as well Jane knew she had screwed up big time and didn't know how to make up for it.

"Hey Louis. Before we call your grand parents, remember that your mama loves you very much. We had a fight but that's what parents do : they fight sometimes. It doesn't mean that we don't love each other alright?"Settling him in her chair in front of her desk and laptop Maura could see how Louis was upset with Jane because despite being only four he had inherited Jane's observations skills and had figured out that Jane had hurt her.

"I know but she hurted you mommy and I don't like it." Louis replied crossing his arms on his chest.

"Hurt not hurted dear. Look, your mama is the most loving, compassionate and loyal person you will ever meet and she would give her life for us. Sometimes we disagree but it doesn't make her a bad person. Can you please let me take care of it and stop being mad at her?"

"Okay mommy. I suppose it's adult stuff and I'm too little to understand it but you know uncle Frankie says I'm the man of the house and I have to protect you."

"I know, how about you sleep with me next time there is a storm, you know how scared I get."Maura replied passing her hand through his hair.

"Okay mommy. Can we call grand ma now?"

"Sure. "Opening her lap top and connecting him with her mother Maura left the room with a feeling that his protectiveness was adorable but that it might caused friction between him and Jane and that she needed to sort things with her .

Walking toward the bedroom Maura started analyzing the situation and knew she had two options : she could either go through with that pregnancy hoping Jane would change her mind taking the risk of loosing her and therefore breaking up her family or she could ignore her desires and spend the rest of her life being miserable for that choice and probably resenting Jane for ever. In both case scenarios her family would be broken up, the only solution was to change Jane's mind.

She knew that Jane and her had to find a solution, that this tensed atmosphere wasn't healthy for Louis, that he was very sensitive and over protective over her and that it would only damage his relationship Jane and she was willing to try anything to avoid that from happening.

"Can I stay here tonight in or do I have to sleep in my man cave?"Jane asked as Maura stepped into their bedroom.

"You can do what ever you want, isn't it what you always do?"Maura replied closing her eyes unable to remain calm and not resentful.

"Look Maura I'm sorry. You know I love you and that I would do anything to make you happy, It's just not the right time."

"No, stop lying or giving me bogus excuses, you just don't want another child, just admit it."Closing the door behind her to make sure Louis wouldn't hear them Maura was ready to confront Jane without sparing her. She needed to get to the bottom of Jane's behavior now.

"You're right I don't. I did when we talked about it a few years back but talking about it earlier making up all those work related excuses I realized I did not want another child. I'm very happy just the tree of us Maur', aren't you ?"Saying those words Jane realized that she could not tell her the whole truth, that admitting the reasons behind her refusal would only expose her weaknesses and insecurities and she knew that Maura wouldn't understand, for the first time since they were together Jane decided not to be completely sincere, to spare her the reasons , even if it meant hurting her.

"Yes. I'm happy but I want more, I need more and I hope you're going to come to your senses because I'm having this child, with or without your help."Saying those words Maura had made her decision right on the spot, she was going to have another child and was hoping Jane would change her mind and support her down the road. She came into that bedroom determined to remain calm and to find a solution, to try to understand Jane but face with her stubbornness she knew that she had no other choice, that dialogue was closed.

"What are you saying Maur'?Are you going to leave me if I don't change my mind?"Bouncing out of bed Jane was suddenly faced with the consequences of her cowardice, her wife was going to leave her, she was going to loose her for good this time.

"No. I'm saying that I'm going to get pregnant very soon and that it's up to you to be part of it or not. Your choice. Now get the hell out of our bedroom, you can sleep in your man cave tonight."

"Maura…"Jane mumbled tears streaming down her face.

"I mean it!"Maura repeated pointing out the door.

"Kay.."Walking towards the door Jane realized that she may have just screwed up the most wonderful thing in her life.

Of course she wanted another child, of course she wanted to see Maura pregnant and be there to feel the baby kick and to cut the umbilical cord or to breast feed their baby. Of course Jane wanted all this but she was scared, scared of something she could not bring herself to face yet, something that in her mind made her weak and unworthy of raising a family.

She knew that Maura was serious, that despite loving her she was going to have another child and she could not blame her. She knew what Maura had sacrificed for their family over the years, her career, her independence…and she understood her unwillingness to sacrifice something that was so strong and almost vital for a woman.

Going to bed in her man cave that night after a silent dinner and Louis still refusing to talk to her Jane lied in bed trying to face her fears, to understand them and to overcome them but she was scared that she would not be able to do that without Maura's help.

Unfortunately confiding in Maura now wasn't possible, she was mad at her and would not listen to what she had to say.

For the first time since they met almost ten years ago Jane didn't know what to do. She wanted to fix her mistake, to tell Maura the reason behind her refusal but she could not do that. She could not make this about her again and she knew that she was gonna have to overcome those fears on her own if she didn't want to loose her family.

_Flash back : _

_It was the middle of June and little Louis was almost 9 months old. After their conversation on Valentines' day Jane made some drastic effort to compartmentalize more and leave work at work in order to be able to give herself 100% to her family at home. After a rough start thanks to Maura's support Jane had found the perfect balance between being a committed Detective and an obsessed one._

_So that afternoon the little family included Joe Friday and Bass were in the backyard enjoying the sun, Maura on a long chair reading a new book her mother had recommended and Jane lying on the grass playing with Louis trying to make him say his first word._

_"Come on, can you say mommy, or mama or maybe gun or even scalpel...Come on baby..."Laying on her back Louis on her stomach Jane was desperately trying to make him say something anything. She didn't want him to say his first word when she was at work so she spent every living minute since he was 6months old trying to make him talk._

_"Scalpel Jane?Really?"Lowering her eyes seeing Jane so desperate to make their son talk Maura was amused but what Jane didn't know was that she had been trying as well._

_"Well he does spend most of his time with you so I wouldn't be surprised if his word was something geeky like occipital orbital lacrima what ever."Jane replied rolling her eyes. The truth was that she knew that because she spent her days with him Louis was probably going to probably mimic her way of talking, of standing and even of thinking rather than hers and as perfect as Maura was Jane wanted to influence her son as much as Maura was._

_"What was your first word?Mine was book. My mother told me that she was holding me going through her library to try to find something to read to me. I pointed out one of them and said "book."Maura said smiling knowing that children usually said mommy or daddy because it was much easier than any other word to pronounce._

_"Meat. I guess I was hungry. I pointed at Ma's plate and said meat."_

_"Bass, bass!"Little Louis said pointed out at Bass slowly walking towards them._

_"You must be kidding me. What did you say?"Sitting up leaving him on the grass Jane could not believe her ears._

_"Who is that Louis?It's Bass?"Maura said encouraging him to crawl towards Bass._

_"Bass, Bass."Louis kept on repeating crawling towards Bass until he finally reached him._

_"And here goes his first word and I have it on tape."Jane smiled holding her phone in her hand.  
><em>

_"That's my boy, so smart, you remember why I called him Bass, don't you?Yes after the forensic anthropologist William M Bass."Looking down at Louis trying to climb on Bass' shell again Maura was overwhelmed by a feeling of pride. After months of talking to him, signing to him he was finally saying his first word and it wasn't meat._

_Watching Maura smiling and her son playing around with Bass Jane realized that despite Louis being her biological son he was taking more after Maura than her and it somehow broke her heart. Of course growing up to be just like Maura would be a blessing but she was his mother and she was determined to raise him to be a Rizzoli as well, not only an Isles and was willing to put her career aside as much as she would need to make that happen._

**So guys. I know Maura might have over reacted. Well maybe not. I don't have children but from what women around me told me this need to procreate is like a calling, it's a biological need that is stronger than anything.**

**While Maura might be a bit harsh on Jane she also can't ignore her needs for her even if it means loosing her or she might end up loosing herself. I think that after 4 or 5 years of sacrificing everything for Jane and their son it's time for her to do what SHE wants, don't you think?**

**Hopefully Jane will come around and yes she has a very good reason for saying no that she hasn't disclosed yet. Don't worry she's not just being an ass for the sake of it . She has a very good reason for saying no and it's all gonna make sense don't worry.**

**Also yes Louis stands up for his mommy. He loves Jane but he spent 4 years with Maura full time so they're close ;)**

**I think I might develop this feeling Jane has that Louis is taking more after Maura than her without being jealous but she might feel a bit hurt...**


	41. Inadequacy

**Chapter 41 :**

**Inadequacy:**

For the next ten days Jane and Maura slept in two separate bedrooms trying their best to keep up appearances for Louis. Maura knew that Louis was very insightful and was trying her best to hide her pain as not to damage his relationship with Jane.

Unfortunately little Louis wasn't blind and he could see that his mommies were barely talking and resented Jane for it. Despite Jane's best effort to make it up to him, to explain things to him he refused to play with her, to talk to her or to even look at her and it broke Jane's heart. Not only she was loosing her wife but her son hated her as well.

On top of that despite her best efforts to initiate a conversation Maura was still refusing to listen to what she had to say.

Luckily for Jane she wasn't willing to give up and after spending many nights alone thinking about the reasons that made her reluctant to have another child she finally felt ready to confide in Maura, all she needed was her wife's attention for a couple of minutes.

So that morning after Maura woke Louis up, helped him to get dressed, fed him Maura took him to school and walked home, actually she dragged herself home. The past ten days had been tough on her too. She had spent her nights re thinking her entire marriage trying to figure out what she had done wrong and when things had gone south. She was trying her best to understand Jane's behavior refusing to think that she had made a mistake marrying her. Unfortunately despite her best efforts she could not find the reason that would make her not want a child.

So after torturing herself over it Maura decided to make peace with the reality : Louis was an accident and despite loving him more than life itself Jane didn't want another child. She had to learn to live with that sad reality if she wanted to move passed it and move forward.

"You're back."Sitting in their kitchen having her morning cup of tea Jane was determined to confront Maura right here right now.

"Yes, but not for long. I have Doctor's appointment at 11 and I would much rather be perfectly relaxed so I'm going to listen to some Mozart for a while."Tossing her keys on the kitchen counter Maura was determined not to get into a fight with Jane or to even acknowledge her presence but she wanted her to know that she hadn't changed her mind.

"What?You're already have an appointment?"Jane replied almost choking on her coffee.

"Yes. Though my uterus is perfectly healthy I'm almost 39 and studies shows that fertility starts decreasing from age 30 but drops dramatically after 37 and even if IVF facilitates things as opposed to natural conception I need to get tested to see if I'm fertile enough to conceive a child and the tests need to be performed on the third day of my cycle, today."By throwing her medical facts at Jane's face Maura was once again making a clear statement regarding her commitment.

"What kind of tests?"

"First the Doctor is going to test my FSH and LH that indicate the level of my egg reserve and the their quality. If those levels are in the normal range then I will be able to conceive otherwise I might have to go through fertility treatment or find an egg donor. The private clinic I'm going to has a private lab so I should have the results within 3 or 4 hours."

"Wow you really thought this through."That was it : that look in Maura's eyes. She wanted that child, she was going to have that child without her.

"I'm a Doctor Jane. I don't need to think about it. I know what it's going to take for a woman of my age to get pregnant. Now if you would excuse me I would like to rest before my appointment."Maura replied biting the inside of her cheek as she walked away.

"So you're really getting pregnant, without me?"Standing up Jane wanted to pulled her in her arms and tell her everything but it was obvious that Maura wasn't willing to hear her out.

"I'm getting pregnant. With or without you is your choice. I love you but if I ignore this calling I'm just going to die from the inside..."

"I'm the one dying without you."Closing her eyes feeling the tears streaming down her face Jane was paralyzed she wanted to go after Maura to tell her the truth but she couldn't, her legs and cowardliness wouldn't let her.

So that morning Jane went to work, sat on her desk picturing Maura in some cold clinic having her blood taken by herself while she was sitting on her ass to proud to go there.

Around 2 pm tired of picturing Maura packing her things and leaving her Jane decided to gather her courage, tracked down Maura's cell phone, wrote the address on a piece of paper grabbed her jacket and drove to the clinic.

At the other side of town Maura was sitting on a very comfortable chair in the waiting room of one of the best fertility clinic in the country.

Looking at pictures of Louis on her cell phone Maura could not help but thinking that she had been blessed with him, that choosing to resign was the best decision she ever made.

Thinking about Louis' first step, word or tooth and all those precious moments she had witnessed she knew that being a mother was what she was born to be, not a Medical Examiner or a rich heiress, just a mother.

Feeling Louis' love and unconditional support Maura almost felt guilty for wanting more and was hoping that in a few years if Jane and her had separated he wouldn't feel guilty thinking he wasn't enough for her and that he wouldn't feel responsible for their divorce.

Around 3 pm as Maura was checking her watch knowing the results should be here any minute she suddenly heard a very familiar noise, shoes walking on the marble floor. The pace was fast and determined and she could have recognized that determination among millions.

"Jane, what are you doing here?"Maura mumbled almost dropping her phone on the floor.

"Oh God, you're still here, it took me an hour to drive here. Did you get your results yet?"Jane asked kneeling in front of her wife immediately reaching for her hands hoping she would not cause a scene in public.

"No, I'm still waiting but what are you doing here?"Still in shock Maura didn't know what to think, had she changed her mind?Was she here to beg her not to sacrifice their marriage for a child?

"I'm here to support you. I'm so sorry for being such an ass. You're my wife, I love you and I'm dying without you, please you have to forgive me."Looking up in her wife's eyes almost begging her Jane didn't care that people were looking at them. This was her wife, her family that was at stake and embarrassment would not keep her from getting her family back.

"Look Jane. I appreciate the support but have you changed your mind?Because supporting me if you don't want this child would be useless and painful for both of us."

"Of course I want this baby. How can I not want a mini you?"Placing her hand on Maura's belly Jane was sincere, she wanted that child, she was scared to death but she wanted it more than anything in this world.

"What made you you change your mind?"Maura asked narrowing hr eyebrows.

"I didn't change my mind. I always wanted that child but I was too proud or too scared to tell you what was making me so reluctant. I promise I will do what ever it takes to prove you that I want this child and that I'm going to be a good mother. I promise ."

"You can start by telling me why you told me you didn't want this child and please don't insult me by invoking your career."

Taking a minute to compose herself and choose her words Jane knew that this was her last and only chance to convince Maura that she wasn't a selfish monster, that she had reasons to behave like she did.

"I'm...I'm scared that I won't be a good mother Maura, God knows I did a terrible job with Louis and I carried him for nine months and I can barely reach out to him so what do you think is gonna happen with a child that's not my own flesh and blood?"Finally freeing herself from that fear that had been eating her alive ever since she started to feel Maura's desires to have another child Jane was relieved but also scared that Maura would not be able to understand.

"What are you talking about Jane? You're a fantastic mother and our son loves you more than anything in this world."Maura replied narrowing her eyebrows in disbelief. She could not understand how Jane could not see what a gifted mother she has been to their son.

" Look I know it's stupid and irrational, that I shouldn't be jealous or feel threatened by your relationship, that because you spent four years with him full time it's understandable that the two of you are close but I just don't seem to get to him you know. I mean when you're out he just keep on asking me "_When_ _is_ _mommy coming home?"_ and when I try to do something with him or for him he always says :_"That's not the way mommy does it." _I feel that he doesn't want to spend time with me. God Maura I just feel like a complete stranger to my own son."Her head on her wife's lap feeling all eyes on her Jane finally allowed herself to cry and to admit that she was scared and that her legendary self confidence was not perfect.

"Oh Jane…Sweetheart, you're wrong, actually you have never been so wrong in your life. Yes I spent the past four years home with our son and we're extremely close but trust me when I say that all he can talk about is you. To him you're even cooler than Batman and Superman combined Jane. When you leave for work in the morning he always says : _"_ _I'm going to miss Mama today but it's okay she's going to help people."_ and then when he hears your car he's all excited because he knows that he's gonna be able to tell you everything we did when you were at work. You're his hero and I would not be surprised if he decided to walk in your and Frankie's footsteps."Maura smiled stroking Jane's hair with her fingers.

"I don't know Maura, I mean he saw that you were sad and cause he's smart he understood that we had a fight and he immediately assumed that it was my fault. He didn't even let me explained to him what had happened and now he doesn't even want to talk to me. All he knows is that I hurt his mommy and he hates me."Jane replied rising her head trying to wipe the tears away with the back of her sleeve.

"He's four years old Jane. If you want to talk to him, you will talk to him even if he doesn't want to. You're going to have to sit down with him and talk to him and somehow explain things to him in a way that he will understand." Listening to Jane and feeling how terrible she felt Maura could not help but feeling guilty. By retiring all she wanted was to give Louis the attention she never received as a child and never expected Jane to feel excluded and that he loved her more. It was true that Louis and her had a very symbiotic relationship but Maura was determined to make Jane see how much Louis loved her and how much he looked up to her even if he was a mommy's boy.

"I know. I will talk to him tonight. I promise and I will do what ever it takes to make both of you forgive me. When you think that you were the one who was scared of not being able to bound with him."Jane smiled nervously looking around her, feeling a millions eyes on her.

"Well I was wrong, I realized that blood or DNA didn't matter, what matters is how much we both love him. I realize now that my choice to stay home might not have been the best choice, that being the center of his world for most of the time was not healthy or fair to you."

"Nah' non sense. It was the right thing to do. You wanted to be a stay home mom and you did a great job, a better job than any nanny would have done."

"Thank you. You know if we decide to have another child I won't be able to spend as much time with him as I do today, especially once the baby is born and he's going to need you, so this could be the opportunity to straighten your bond and spend more time with him." The truth was that Maura had considered things carefully and knew that with a little organisation there was no reason for her not to be able to maintain the same relationship with Louis but she knew that Jane needed to tighten the bond she had with him and knew that this was the perfect opportunity.

"You're right, you're going to need rest, especially during the last trimester and you won't be able to play with him as much and once the baby is born things are gonna be a bit overwhelming and shaky for a while and he's probably going to feel neglected because you're going to focus on the baby."

"Exactly, knowing him he's also going to have millions of questions about my pregnancy or the baby once he or she is born and we both know that you have that way to talk to children that is much more understandable then mine. "

"Okay. God I'm sorry Maura. I know he loves me, I just...sometimes I hate myself for working so much and I feel that he resents me for choosing to work when you chose to stay home with him you know."

"Well he doesn't and he's very proud of you so how about you talk to him and spend more time with him so you can see it for yourself?"

"Alright, let's put this behind us and focus on this baby, that's not actually even here yet."Smiling Jane realized how stupid she had been, of course her son loved her and she knew that soon she was going to have the opportunity to spend more time with him to show him how much she loved him and how important he was for her, more than work, more than anything else.

"Alright."Pressing her lips against Jane's Maura knew that Jane was hurt, that she was doubting her mother skills and that she needed reassurance and she was willing to step back a bit to allow her and Louis to reconnect.

A few minutes later Maura and Jane found themselves in one of the best fertility specialist in the country, Dr Thorton and were eagerly waiting for the results of the blood tests Maura had taken a few hours ago.

"Well congratulations Maura. The results are good. Actually I must say that you have the egg count and quality of a 30 year old woman. You're very lucky. Have you decided if you want to go with IVF or artificial insemination?"Handing the results to Maura Dr Thorton was happy to see that Jane was here because after listening to Maura telling him her wife wouldn't be joining them as he was taking her blood he was able to see how heart broken she was. As fertility specialist he knew that what mattered most while trying to have a child was the unconditional of the other spouse, that a woman in perfect shape helped by the best Doctor could fail if not in the proper spirit and seeing the smile on his patient's face he had that things were going to be just fine.

"Actually, I would like to give artificial insemination a shot, right Jane?"Maura asked looking at Jane for approval.

"Mmm yeah, you're the Doctor, you know best."Jane replied shrugging her shoulders.

"Well IVF has a higher chance of succeeding because the egg is fertilize in a lab and than implanted but we're talking days of hormones injections to stimulate ovulation before being able to retrieve my eggs. It's a long and painful process both physically and psychologically and considering we have a four year old son at home I'm not sure that I'm willing to put him through this."As a Doctor Maura knew that IVF was the best solution but she had to consider the repercussions on her family and was willing to give artificial insemination a shot, knowing it was a far less invasive process.

" You're right it's a far less painful and harassing procedure but you have to keep in mind that the chance of getting pregnant the first time are slim and that regardless of your age."Dr Thorton replied trying to be pragmatic and realistic.

"I know, imagine getting pregnant every time you have unprotected intercourse when you're ovulating, now that would be a problem. I'm perfectly aware of the probabilities and I just want to give it a try, several try if we have to, but don't worry I won't be stubborn and if it doesn't work after a couple of attempts then we will go with IVF. What do you think babe?"Maura replied her hand on Jane's thigh.

"I think it sounds perfectly reasonable, I think we don't have anything to loose trying the old fashion way a couple of time."Squeezing Maura's hand Jane realized that they were really doing this : they were having a second child and it terrified her. She was terrified of not being able to care for her as much as Maura had cared for her 5 years ago when she was pregnant herself but she was determined not to let her fears dictate her behavior this time. She loved her wife and was determined to try her best to be as present as possible and to make this pregnancy as smooth as possible for her, even if it meant quitting her job.

"Alright. Well then I will see you…on the 14th at 2pm. My assistant will provide you with our catalogue of donors so you can choose."Dr Thorton replied making a note in his calendar.

"Now that's gonna be fun."Jane replied rolling her eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that we both know what kind of donor you want : handsome, tall, with dark hair, who likes to travel and who's smart and successful, ideally a Doctor and that I won't have a word to say in the matter."

"Remind me again who choose our last donnor?"Maura smirked battling her eyelashes.

"Fair enough..."

That afternoon right after leaving the clinic Jane went back to work and Maura went to pick up Louis at school, eager to tell him he was going to have a sibling very soon.

Driving back to the station Jane was relieved that Maura and her had sorted things out and that she was able to understand her concerns and could not wait to have a heart to heart conversation with Louis, to apologize and explain her behavior hoping that he would give her a second chance like Maura did and that he would going be excited to become a big brother.

Obviously Maura was not pregnant yet but they both agreed that Louis deserved to know the truth in order to prepare himself to the idea of having a sibling and to have to share his mommies. For the past four years he had been the center of attention, treated like a little prince by the entire Rizzoli-Isles clan and their friends and in order to him to welcome the arrival of a sibling positively Jane and Maura were determined to explain things to him and to involve him as much as possible so he would love him or her without feeling jealous or neglected.

So that afternoon Jane sat at her desk dreaming of that baby that wasn't even here yet. She started to remember her own pregnancy and how fulfilling this experience had been and knew that Maura was actually probably enjoy her more than she did. The truth was that Jane could not wait to see Maura's body change, to see her glowing, and feeling their child growing inside of her. Thinking about it Jane felt like a complete jerk for almost depriving Maura of that wonderful experience and was determined to support her as much as she did 5 years ago and to prove to her that she had what it took to make a good mother. She was determined to put her career aside to be able to focus 100%on their baby and on Louis because she didn't want him to feel neglected. It had taken Jane a long time to admit it but maybe going back to work was not what she should have done. Despite what Maura was trying to make her believe Louis as proud as he was of her somehow resented her for working and spending so much time away from him and his mommy and this time she was determined to do things differently because thinking about it, being a cop wasn't what she was meant to be. She was a mother and her desire to be there for her family has surprisingly started to outgrown her desire to help people and that was something she had never expected but was willing to embrace the way Maura did.

**So guys, what do you think?Does Jane's reason makes sense now?I wanted to show that she feels rejected by her own son who's a mommy boy without making her childishly jealous...Hope I managed to at least to that.**

**Well looks like they're having a baby...Don't worry Jane is going to talk with Louis to explain everything.**

**Thanks for being so passionate in your reviews regarding this new plot . I hope I won't disappoint you with the rest.**

**This pregnancy is going to be challenging for all of them and I hope I will be able to remain original to keep you interested :)**

**As always don't forget to drop me a quick comment, feedback negative or positive...or ideas ;)**


	42. Big brother

**Chapter 42 :**

**Big brother : **

Later that day around half past six Jane finally came home after finishing her paperwork only to find Maura in the kitchen reorganizing their entire cutlery.

"Someone is nervous." Jane said tossing her keys on the counter roaming her eyes around her seeing knives, plates, glasses spread every where.

"Yes, I suppose I am. Actually I think I might have scared him a little." Maura replied trying to take deep breath.

"Let me guess : he offered his help at first but seeing how crazy you look right now he probably ran off." Snaking her arms around her wife Jane could see how nervous she was about telling Louis that he was going to have a sibling soon.

"Yes, how about we do this right now before dinner? I told him you and I were going to talk to him tonight and I don't want to make him wait any longer."

"How about you clear the kitchen and you let me talk to him? He's still mad at him and I want to apologize and be then I'll bring him here so we can tell him the good news if that's okay with you."

"Alright. Just breath and remember he's your son, he loves you, all he wants is for you to be honest with him. I think he got mad because he felt left out."

"He's only four and I would much rather not having to explain to him why we argued but he's smarter than any other four years old I know, so I suppose we have no choice. I will see you in a few minutes."Jane said kissing Maura's forehead.

Walking towards Louis' room Jane was nervous and worried that she would not be able to find the words to explain things to him in a way that he would understand.

Reaching his bedroom Jane took a minute to gather her thoughts and to observe him laying on his belly playing with the police cars his uncle Frankie had gotten him.

"Hey there can I come in?"Jane finally spoke taking long deep breath.

"Yes."Louis replied shrugging his shoulders without a look at his mother.

"Look it's been ten days. I know you're mad at me but don't you think it's time we talk about it?"

"No. I don't want to talk to you. You made my mommy cry!"Louis replied suddenly standing up throwing his toy away.

"I know and trust me I'm going to hate myself every day for the rest of my life for that but what ever happened between your mommy and me doesn't change the fact that you're my son and that I love you and I can not continue to let you hate me like this. So can we please talk about this ?"Seeing the rage in her son's eyes Jane could see herself : impatient, frustrated, stubborn...Maura was right, the older he got the more he looked like her.

"I know but you have to tell me why mommy is so sad. I'm not a baby anymore. I can understand stuff. I don't like when you hide things from me."Louis replied jumping on his bed. As mad as he was he could see how sorry his mama was and was eager to hear her explanations.

"Well I suppose you're old and smart enough to understand. On your first day of school your mommy told me that she wanted us to give you a little brother or sister but I said I didn't want to and she got sad because she really really wants to have a baby."Sitting on her son's bed Jane could finally feel that he was willing to hear her out and knew that she needed to be sincere and honest that he would not forgive her for lying.

"Why did you say no?Don't you love being my mama?"Narrowing his eyes Louis was trying to pay attention, he knew that his mama and him were having an adult conversation and that he needed to focus if he wanted to understand everything but he felt proud that Jane was considering him old and smart enough to have that conversation with him.

"Oh…Of course I love being your mother, I love you more than life itself and having you was the best thing that ever happened to me." Jane replied pulling him on her lap snaking her arms around him.

"Then why did you say no?"

"Because, sometimes I feel that I'm not a good mother to you. Sometimes I feel that I work too much and you're mad at me for not staying at home like your mommy."

"Oh mama. I'm not mad I you. Well sometimes when you miss dinner or bedtime I'm mad because I like it when you tell me stories before I fall asleep but I'm proud of you for being a Sergeant Detective Mama. You save people's lives mama, it' s very important job, I know that."Burying his head his head in her mama's chest little Louis felt guilty for being mad at her for so long.

" You're sweet but you know sometimes when we're together I feel that I'm doing everything wrong, that all the games I propose are the wrong ones or that I don't play them the way you like to and that you would prefer being with your mommy."

"Oh mama, are you jealous?"Louis asked slightly rising his voice.

"No, or maybe a little. I know that your mommy and you are so close because she's with you all day and I'm glad but just feel terrible because I know that you and I would be closer if I didn't spent so much time at work. You're right my job important but you are more important and from now on I'm going to make you and your mommy my only priority. Alright?"

"Alright but…I mean yes mommy and I are super super close but it doesn't mean that I love her more than I love you. I love you both the same way mama. I promise."Tightening his little arms around Jane little Louis' heart broke at the thought that he had hurt his mama because she thought he loved his mommy more.

"I know son, I know. I'm sorry for being so stupid." Feeling her son's warm and comforting arms around her Jane felt like such a fool, of course he loved them the same way.

"You know one day I remember you said that sometimes your job is dangerous and that mommy gets worried because she doesn't work with you anymore so I always try to make her think of something else. That's why we do all sorts of things together you know."

"Oh sweetheart, that's so sweet, you're trying to distract her to keep her from being afraid that something might happen to me?"Passing her hand through his hair Jane was definitely seeing herself in him, caring, protective, trying to take care of his mommy the best he could.

"Yes. You know uncle Frankie says that he and Uncle Barry always have your back and that you're safe but I know she worries. I'm just trying to take care of her you know, because when you're not at home I'm the man of the house and it's my job to take care of mommy and make sure she's not sad."

"You're…you my dear are the best son I could have ever dreamed about. You're only four but you're so carrying and so smart. I'm proud of you."Jane sobbed feeling a tear streaming down her cheek as she held him as tight as she could.

"I'm your son mama. I'm just like you."Louis replied his heart filled up with pride. He was only four but took his responsibilities very seriously and knowing his mama was proud of him for taking care of his mommy made him very happy.

"Well look at us all worked up. Look your mommy and I have something we need to tell you." Jane said whipping the tears of her face as she gently stood up and started walking towards the living room.

"So mommy is not mad at you anymore, does that mean you changed your mind about giving me a little sister?"Louis asked clapping in his hand.

"Let's sit down and talk about it. Maur'?" Jane said leaving Louis on the sofa.

"Yes, I'm coming. " Walking towards the sofa Maura could see that Jane had been crying but seeing the smile on her face knew that they had worked things out.

"I'm sorry mommy for being mad at mama like that. I promise it won't happen again." Louis said as Maura sat next to him.

"Well it's okay to be mad at us sometimes, what is not okay is not talking to us. We're a family and I'm sure we're going to have other fights in the future but what's important is that we talk about it so we can make things better, do you understand?"Maura asked settled next to him immediately reaching out for Jane's hand.

"Yes mommy. So mama told me you wanted to talk to me about something? Does that mean I'm going to have a little sister?"Settling between his two mommies, little Louis' head was pounding. His conversation with Jane had been intense and more serious than the conversation he usually has with his parents but it made him feel like a growing up.

"Well, today your mama and I went to the Doctor and he took some of my blood and told me that I was perfectly healthy so we decided to try to make this baby very soon."Saying those words Maura realized that they still hadn't had "the talk" with him.

"Why a Doctor mommy?I don't understand?"Louis said scratching the back of his head.

"Well, I know you're a bit young to understand but you know that usually to make a baby you need a boy and a girl but your mommy and I are two girls, that's why we need a Doctor to help us. "Jane replied knowing that her explanations would be easier and less frightening to understand than Maura's.

"Okay, I understand but what about me mama? Did you ask this Doctor to help you to have me as well?"Louis' asked looking up in his mama's big brown eyes.

At that precise moment Jane and Maura froze. Up until now Louis had never asked about Dean. Despite seeing all his friends having a mommy and a daddy having two mommies didn't seem to bother him and they were hoping not having to tell him the truth until he was much older.

"Well…no. Just before your mommy and I were together I…I met a boy and we made you together but we both decided it was better for you if you were raised by me and your mommy."Jane explained squeezing Maura's hand.

"Why, he did not love me?"Louis pouted.

"Oh no Louis. It's complicated, it's adult stuff sweetheart, maybe when you're older we will explain it to you but not now okay?"Jane offered incapable of explaining Dean to him.

"No, you said you would not lie to me anymore!"Louis objected crossing his arms on his chest.

"Alright, calm down. Well you know how my parents love each other very much and that why they decided to have me and how your mama's parents loved each other very much and that's why they decided to have your mama and your uncle Frankie and Tommy, right?"Maura asked knowing that with his stubbornness he would not let this go.

"Yes."

"Well your mama and your daddy did not love each other the way your grand parents do and they didn't want to get married but your mama and I did. We loved each other very very much so your mama and your daddy decided it was better for you to live with me and your mama. Do you understand?" Trying to explain things to him in a way he would understand without lying to him Maura was now scared that her son was going to ask about his daddy and would express the desire to meet him, which would be hard since Dean was in jail and which would also break her heart.

"Oh, I understand you know my friend Emily at school she lives with her mommy and her step daddy. She told me that her real daddy left her mommy when she was carrying her in her tummy and that she met her step daddy when she was a baby but she calls him daddy anyway you know." Louis replied nodding.

"Exactly. So do you have any questions about your daddy?"Jane asked swallowing hard hoping that she would not have to explain to him that his father was in jail.

"Mmmm. No not really. I have friends at school who have two mommies you know so no, but maybe when I'm older we can talk about it again?"Louis replied not willing to hurt Maura the way he hurt Jane by leading her to believe he loved Maura more.

"Okay. When ever you're ready to talk about him. I will be happy to answer." Jane replied relieved that he did not seem to care much about Dean.

"Okay. So I'm going to be a big brother?Like uncle Frankie with uncle Tommy?"

"Yes and you know once your mommy gets pregnant I'm going to need you. I will obviously work as little as I can but when I'm not here you will be in charge of making sure your mommy is alright, you know that she eats properly and takes naps and stuff like that. Do you think you can do that?"Jane ask knowing that he would want to feel useful and to be given some responsibilities.

"Of course, mama, taking care of mommy when you're not here is my job. I'm going to take good care of you mommy and of my little sister too."Louis replied rushing in Maura's arms.

"Thank you sweetie, but you know that you might have a little brother, would that be okay?"Feeling his enthusiasm and his determination to take care of her Maura was touched and despite his young age could already see all the things she loved about Jane in him.

"Yes of course but can we have dinner now?I'm really hungry."

"Sure, come on go wash your hands, dinner is almost ready."Maura replied.

"Okay. Oh mommy, you know I always wanted to be a big brother so thank you very much. I promise I will be a good big brother." Louis said bouncing off the couch.

"I'm sure you will."Maura replied feeling her heart melt instantly .

"Well that went well, God I'm glad he didn't ask about Dean, I don't know how I would have explain to him that he was in jail."Jane replied pulling Maura closer.

"Well right now he feels loved and he has a lot of men around him but I'm sure when he gets older and try to figure out who he is he's going to ask us about Dean."

"I know, even if we do everything we can to surround him with men having a father and feeling the need to know him is almost instinctive, just like you wanted to meet your biological parents but we have time alright? So let's not think about it for now? Louis loves you, you're his mom and even if one day he asks to meet him nothing will ever be able to change that."Jane replied kissing her forehead knowing that Maura has been fearing this moment since Louis was born. She knew she was scared that despite being loved and growing up in a male dominated environment he might feel the need to have a relationship with Dean and could only pray that he wouldn't.

That night after having dinner listening to Louis telling them everything he was planning on teaching his little sister or little brother Jane and Maura went to bed together for the first time in almost two weeks.

"I can't tell you how good it feels to hold you in my arms and lay in our bed again."Jane said pulling Maura against her.

"Yes. I must admit that despite having Louis with me I was not able to find sleep while you were sleeping there."Maura replied resting her head on Jane's chest taking a deep breath of her natural sent.

"I know, damn we've been married for almost four years and it's first time you kick me out of our bedroom for that long. I'm so sorry, it won't happen again, I mean I will never let 10 days pass without apologizing. I promise."

"Alright, let's put this behind us alright. We're having a baby Jane and we both need to be positive and to let go of past resentments."

"I agree. So we're really doing this?We're really having a baby?"

"Yes we are. Are you nervous?"

"No, not really, I mean I'm nervous about the pregnancy not about having another child."The truth was that Jane was not prepared to see Maura pregnant. She had been through this and knew that it was an overwhelming experience and could only hope to be caring and attentive enough to satisfy Maura's needs.

"What are you nervous about?Being pregnant and giving birth is something women have been doing for thousands of years."

"I know but you're not just any woman Maura, you're my wife and I worry, that's my job. I have been through it and trust me despite it being a wonderful experience it's also painful and scary and despite all your medical knowledge, trust me you have no idea what you getting yourself into."

"I know but you're here and not only you have been through it but you know me better than anyone else and I'm sure you're perfectly capable of supporting me and helping me through this experience."Jane was right, despite knowing everything about the miracle that being pregnant and giving birth was, her knowledge was mostly medical and despite having lived if once in the past she knew that carrying the baby herself would be different but she trusted Jane to help her through it.

"Of course, I promise you I'm going to be there every step of the way like you were for me and of course I intend to be home more to take care of Louis. I don't want him to feel left out."

"Me neither and from the way he told me he would take care of me I can feel that he wants to get involved, which doesn't surprise me since he inherited many of those trades that made me fell in love with you but don't you think he's too young to be given that kind of responsibilities?"

"Well he's young but I think that giving him a few responsibilities will help him feel included in this pregnancy and that feeling responsible for his sibling will help them bond without feeling jealous of the attention he or she is going to get you know."

"You're right, it's just that sometime he sounds so responsible and so mature for his age, I just want him to be a little boy you know."

"I know but if he anything like me you won't stop him from caring for you and this baby, so you might as well give him a few responsibilities. You know nothing fancy but like I said making sure you go to bed early or that you eat well when I'm not home. As you said he's really mature for his age and he wants us to consider him as a big boy and I think we should treat him as such."

"You're right. I'm sure he's going to be a great big brother just like you are a great sister. You know the more he grows up the more he looks like you, not only physically but emotionally, I think that's why he stood up for me when we had that fight. He did what you would have done, he protected me."

"Exactly my thought. Now come on, get some rest we have so many things to think about before we do the procedure."Jane replied kissing the top of Maura's head.

That night the little family fell asleep peacefully for the first time since the fight, the three of them dreaming about that baby that wasn't even here yet.

Each of them had different worries and hopes , Louis for instance was determined to be an exemplary big brother and to take care of his mommy and his sister and could not wait to teach him or her all the thing Jane had taught Tommy and Frankie.

Maura was a bit scared of being pregnant because she was almost 40 and knew the risk of having a child at that age but new that stressing about it would only make things worse, that if she wanted this baby to be healthy she needed to start to learn to relax and to forget all her medical knowledge.

Jane was a bit nervous too, she knew that for the next year Maura and Louis would be completely dependent on her, that up until now Maura had been taking care of the house and their son to allow her to pursue her career and that things were different now. She knew she would have to cut down her hours and be as supportive and as present as Maura had been when she was pregnant and somehow she was looking forward to it. She was looking forwards to spend more time with her son, to tighten their bond and also to see Maura's body chance, to see her glowing in a way that she knew only a child would be able to make her.

**Oh this chapter was fluff, fluff, wrapped up in fluff. I'm sorry if the way they explained things to Louis seemed ridiculous but I don't hang around 4 years old often so I didn't know how to talk to one really...**

**I wanted to thank octobersky69 for helping me out, but I do not think that the whole seed and flower would be appropriate here. I personally was taught about how babies are made with a book, probably the same way Maura was actually. And besides he could not be lied to, he needed to know that he actually had a father. It's going to take time for him to process but it might be interesting to see how he deals with this new information.**

**I know he's a child but I don't want them to talk to him like he's dumb, cause he's smart, probably as smart as Maura is. I know he's not hers but even if intelligence is inherited just like many other trades it's also environmental. I mean you can stimulate a child to increase his intelligence and his reflections skills and that's what Maura has been doing all those years and beside Jane is pretty smart too.**

**Anyway thanks for the support on this new story line, it encourages me to go further and to do my best to give you what you want!**


	43. Donor

**Chapter 43 :**

**Donor.**

A few days later after dropping Louis at school Jane and Maura decided to visit the Isles at their mansion to tell them about their desire to have another child. They knew that once Maura was pregnant they would need all the support they could get especially to help them with Louis to make sure he wouldn't feel abandoned or neglected.

Arriving at the gate Jane immediately noticed her mother's car parked in the drive way.

"Oh your mother is here."Maura pointed out unbuckling her seat belt.

"Yeah, Ma mentioned going shopping with your mom this week but I had no idea they had paned it for today. It's a good thing though, we won't have to make the announcement twice."Jane replied unbuckling her belt seat as well before bouncing out of her seat.

"I suppose it's very convenient yes. Are you ready?I mean, don't you think we should at least wait until I get pregnant?"Following Jane towards the door immediately reaching out for her hand Maura was nervous, she knew that from the moment their decision to have another child went public it became real.

"Well Louis has been keeping this a secret for only four days and it's killing him. Every time he sees Frankie or Ma you can tell he wants to tell them. I think it's not fair to him you know, but don't worry I'll protect you from our mothers' overwhelming desire to be there for us."Jane smirked snaking her arm around her.

"I know, I know, you're my fearless knight in shining armor."Maura replied as she pushed the gigantic wooden door of her childhood house.

Stepping into the house the two women immediately heard laughs and loud voices coming from the living room.

Taking a deep breath as they walked towards their parents Jane and Maura tightened the grip on each other's fingers not willing to let go under any circumstances.

"Maura, Jane, what a pleasant surprise, is something wrong?"Constance said as she saw the two women walking towards them, a concerned look on both their faces.

"We're fine. Jane and I had something to tell you and we're glad the three of you are here actually."Maura replied swallowing hard.

"Alright, come on darling sit down and take a deep breath." Angela replied invited the couple to join her on the couch.

"So Maura, Jane, what is so important that you would visit us so early?"Mr Isles asked taking a quick look at his watch.

"Well, after considering it thoroughly Jane and I decided that we were both ready to have another child." Maura explained, sitting as close to Jane as she could, her legs crossed and her left hand tangled with Jane's.

"Are you pregnant?"Constance asked feeling her breath cut short.

"No. We went to see a fertility specialist a few days ago to go through some tests and the good news is that my egg count and quality are perfectly fine and we scheduled an appointment for an artificial insemination in a week." Maura explained feeling all eyes on her.

"Artificial insemination?Why not IVF?"Maura's dad asked narrowing his eyebrows.

"Well as you must know IVF is a long and painful process, we're talking about endless hormones injections, plus procedures to retrieve the eggs than to fertilize them and re implant them. Artificial insemination might have a lower rate success but it's far less stressful and invasive process." Jane explained relieved that she would not have to deal with Maura while under hormones therapy.

"Yes, Jane and I agreed that we had nothing to loose by to taking a chance with artificial insemination. If it doesn't work out then we will try IVF. We just want to try the old fashion way a couple of times before engaging ourselves in a treatment that is, as she mentioned physically and emotionally enduring , especially since we have a four year old at home."

"Well I suppose you're right, you have nothing to loose. Speaking of Louis, have you told him yet?"Angela suddenly said after staying quiet for the last few minutes.

"Yes, we told him a few days ago and as you can imagine he is over excited. He sees the relationship Jane has with Frankie and Tommy and he's already thinking about all the things he's going to teach him or her."

"Yes he's really looking forward to being a big brother and we're gonna try to involve him as much as possible and to explain things to him because if he feels left out he might end up being jealous or even resent the baby you know." Jane continued.

"Yes, I agree. I think it's important to establish a relationship with the baby before it's even born, that way the transition will probably be easier for him and he will feel responsible for his sibling rather than threatened."Constance replied nodded seeing that Maura and Jane had thought this through.

"Exactly, we're going to focus on Maura and the baby a lot but we're going to do everything we can not to make him feel neglected and and we're counting on you to help us with that."

"Of course you can count on us Jane. We all know that Maura will to need constant care and that becoming parents can be overwhelming and that it's going to take time for you to adjust and we're all here to help you in anyway we can." Constance replied already looking forward to spend more time with Louis.

Over the past 4 few years Constance had developed a strong relationship with Louis , spending numerous afternoons in the park, playing ball or at home painting trying to develop his artistic side and she was looking forwards to continue to tighten their bond and also to be a grand mother for the second time.

She knew that Maura had been waiting for this for a very long time and new that being pregnant would make her feel more complete as a woman and would probably lead her to experience things that were going to change her from the inside out and she could not wait to see her as fulfilled as Jane was when she was pregnant.

"Good, thank you." Seeing her mother and in laws so excited and willing to get involved Jane was relieved. She knew that this pregnancy was going to be a challenge, that she's gonna have to work on her organization skills to be able to deal with Maura, her job, her son and to prepare the arrival of their baby. Luckily for her she knew that she had a strong group of family and friends to help her out if she ever felt overwhelmed.

An hour later Jane and Maura drove home with a very precise task they knew they could not postpone anymore : choosing a donor.

Over the past 4 days Jane and Maura had barely had time to even talk about it. They had been busy between Louis, a high profile murder case and annual performance review and had simply left the catalogue on Maura's bedside table.

Walking towards their bedroom with the firm intention of making a decision Jane and Maura felt completely differently.

Maura, on one hand had a precise idea of what she was looking for while on the other hand Jane did not care about how the donor looked like or if he was successful in his career. All she wanted was a donor with no history of mental illness or cancer in his family, the rest didn't matter.

"So Jane, tell me what kind of donor you would like us to select?"Sitting straight up in bed, the folder containing the donors' profile on her lap Maura had a feeling that this was going to be difficult. She remembered her conversation with Jane in Dr Thorton's office and sensed Jane's reluctance regarding the criteria she was going to use to select the perfect donor.

"I thought you already had a very precise profile in mind." Jane replied settling next to her hoping that this would not take them all day. Today was her first day off in over a week and she had a very precise idea how she wanted to spend it, and debating on sperm donors for hours wasn't on her list.

"I do, but this is a choice that we need to make together." Maura replied knowing that parenthood was a team effort and that choosing the donor on her own was certainly not giving it a good and healthy start.

"Well as long as he doesn't have mental disease, baldness or cancer running in his family, I don't really care if he's a lawyer, a pilot or a surgeon you know. I mean I know that you want our child to be born with the best advantages and that include his DNA but look at Louis. He's as smart as you are and he's my and Dean's son."

"Don't put yourself down like this Jane, you are one of the smartest person I know and Dean was one of the best Agent I ever worked with. "

"Yeah but still, we're not in the genius range and well Louis he's certainly smarter then I was when I was his age which I think has a lot to do with the fact that you and your mother stimulate his mind with art a lot and because we always talked to him like an adult even when he was very young, I'm sure that helped."

"Yes, environment is as important as DNA in this matter. Early stimulation and training of the brain is as important as DNA in the development of a child's intelligence. You can be born from two nobel prize but ending up failing in school if your potential hasn't been stimulating from a young age."

"Exactly, and besides he or she is already inheriting 50 % of your DNA, which is already a serious advantage. So what about this one?"Jane said pointing out one of the profiles.

"Let me see. No antecedent of either heart or mental disease, 30 years old, born and raised in Boston of Italian parents and he's actually a professional violinist. His favorite composers are Mozart and Bach..."Reading the profile of this potential donor Maura was immediately seduced.

"A musician, great!"Jane enthusiastically said trying to fiant not being excited by his Italian origins.

"But…I thought you would prefer a professional athlete or at least someone showing interest in sport, this one only interest in sport seems to be….diving in deep waters."

"Well he's a musician so I suppose he doesn't play sports to protect his hands. Look as I said his IQ or interests don't mean anything to me. We will raise him or her to be interested in sports, music and painting the way we're doing with Louis, but I like this one." Jane said biting her bottom lip.

"Let me guess what caught your interest : the Italian part?"

"Yes, I know it's stupid but I'm italian and so is Louis and ya know I truly believe that half Irish/ half Italian could be an interesting mix don't you think?"Jane replied pushing the folder aside before sliding her hand under Maura's shirt thinking that this discussion was over and their choice made.

"Wait Jane. He might be Italian Jane but he's got blue eyes and light blond hair."Maura replied pushing Jane away , disgusted look on her face.

"Oh come on Maura! You're not gonna have to fuck the guy , so you don't need to choose him to fit your tastes!"Rolling on her back, rising her voice Jane suddenly understood what Maura was looking for and how she imagined the perfect donor and she didn't like it, at all.

"I know that!"

"Then stop acting like you're looking for the man of you dreams. This is a sperm donors' catalogue not a dating service one !Or you know we could contact Ian if you're really looking for the perfect lay, I'm sure he'd be happy to make a deposit."Jane groaned rubbing her face with both hand, letting the words slipped out of her mouth without even considering how hurtful they were.

"I…Jane…How can you even..."Slapped with Jane's words in her face Maura could not understand what had crossed her mind. She had not talked or seen or even thought about Ian since he left over 5 years ago and Jane knew that.

"I'm sorry babe. I just…choosing a donor is weird enough and you make it look like you're looking for a date."

"I'm sorry Jane. I suppose I'm over thinking it. Having a child is supposed to be spontaneous and about love, not DNA, IQ or physical trades. I'm sorry." Sliding on her side cupping Jane's face with her right hand Maura understood that she was treating this as a medical procedure and knew this was not the way Jane wanted to do things.

"No, I'm the one who should apologize, look I just don't like the idea of some guy's sperm inside you, it just make me wanna throw up ya know."

"Oh Jane…I wish you and I could make this baby together without using sperm but as of today science doesn't allow it, I'm sorry."Placing her hand on Jane's back, gently pulling her against her Maura understood Jane's concern and feelings of not being able to do more and to have to use a man to have this child.

"I know, it's just…IVF sounded like a better solution cause you would not have to be in direct contact with sperm, but you made your decision and I support you."

"Oh Jane, the only reason I suggested that we try artificial insemination first is to spare us the trouble that IVF treatment represents. Trust me I don't particularly look forward to be filled up with sperm."

"I know, I know. So do we say donor 21285 is the one?"Jane pouted .

"Yes. "Maura smiled rolling on top on her instinctively unbuttoning Jane's pants.

About a week later the day had finally come for Maura and Jane to go to the fertility clinic and have the procedure.

Determined to let Maura sleep in that morning Jane who had taken the day off woke Louis up helped him dress up, gave him breakfast and prepared him for school.

"So are you ready to go?"Jane said grabbing Louis' bag on the kitchen counter.

"Can I go see mommy before I go to school?"Louis shyly asked a bit unsettled to have his mama drive hi to school.

"Not today buddy, remember I told you we were going to the Doctor today?"Jane explained kneeling in front of him before reaching for his shoes.

"Yes and I know she needs to sleep but I have something for her."Louis explained pulling a small picture frame of his pocket.

"Oh, it's the lucky leaf you found at the park with your grand mother, isn't it?"Jane asked her heart almost melting at the gesture.

"Yes, it's for good luck, can you give it to mommy?"

"I sure will. Come one let's get you to school."Jane said passing her hand through his hair.

So that morning Jane and Louis walked to school in silence which was strange because according to Maura Louis was always very talkative on his way to school.

"Are you okay buddy?"Jane asked as they stopped in front of the school seeing how strangely quiet her son has been since they had left the house.

"I don't know. Is it dangerous?I mean the thing the Doctor is going to do to mommy?"

"Oh, no, no. I know we did not explain this to you but not only she won't feel a thing but there is no risk of her getting hurt, I promise."Seeing the worry on her son's face Jane realized that they had not explained the procedure to him and was not willing to do so without Maura especially in front of the school.

"Alright. I trust you mama. I love you."Louis replied giving his mama a quick kiss on the mouth before rushing inside the school.

About an hour later after making a quick detour to buy Maura some french croissants Jane walked home, prepared Maura's favorite breakfast and walked towards their bedroom hoping she was still sleeping so she could watch her for a few minutes.

"Hey sleepy head." Jane said leaving the tray on the bedside table before sitting on the edge of the bed.

"What time is it?"Maura mumbled slightly opening her eyes

"Half past nine. How are you feeling?"Jane asked leaning over blowing a tender kiss on her forehead.

"Good but you should have woke me up."Maura replied trying to sit up in bed.

"Nah, you look so beautiful when you're sleeping that I didn't have to wake you up and beside I'm not working today so I figured I could drop Louis at school, speaking of our son he asked me to give you this for good luck."Jane replied handing her the framed lucky leaf.

"Oh, that's so sweet…"

"Of course, he's my son remember?Now please eat your breakfast your appointment is at 11 and we don't wanna be late."

So that morning Jane took Maura to the clinic, held her hand through the procedure and then drove her home insisting that she lays down, following Doctor's orders.

"Are you comfortable?Do you need anything?"Jane asked helping Maura settling in bed making sure her feet were elevated.

"I wouldn't mind having something to eat, it's past one already."

"Right, I'll take care of lunch, just stay here and try to relax, who knows, you might be pregnant as we speak."Jane replied kissing Maura's belly.

"You do realize that we won't know for another ten days right?"

"I know, actually we should discuss a plan to occupy Louis, because trust me he's going to ask every single day if we know already."Jane replied knowing that that week and a half was going to be the longest of her entire life.

"You're right, well don't worry I'll come up with something. Oh and Jane..."

"Yes."Jane replied slightly turning her head as she almost reached the door.

"I love you. I can't imagine a better person to have a child and to spend the rest of my life with."

"Right back at ya."Jane winked.

Later that day after spending the afternoon in bed trying to relax and to focus on something else than the procedure Jane left at about 3.30 to pick Louis up at school.

"Mommy mommy."Louis immediately yelled as he stepped into the house running towards his mommies' bedroom.

"Hey be careful, remember what I said?"Jane asked throwing his bag on the floor as she tried to calm him down.

"Yes, sorry mama. I'm just so happy to see mommy. I missed you today."Louis replied climbing in bed with Maura as gently as he possibly could.

"I'm happy to see you too. Thank you for your little gift."Maura replied pulling him in his arm.

"Do you think it helped?Are you pregnant already?"

"I don't know sweetheart. We're going to have to wait for at least two weeks before we know."Maura replied knowing that considering he had inherited Jane's legendary impatience those two coming weeks would be as fun as having Jane snooping around her waiting for DNA results.

"Oh..I see. Well I'm going to take good care of you mommy. I promise."Louis replied resting his head on Maura's head, a bit disappointed .

That afternoon the little family stayed in bed enjoying themselves talking about the baby that wasn't even here yet.

Jane and Louis started to debate rather if they would prefer a boy or a girl and if it was gonna be possible to make her watch games with them in Jane's man cave if that baby turned out to be a girl.

Listening to Jane and Louis talking about the baby, laughing, picturing all kinds of future fun events Maura could help but being scared to death of not being able to give them what they wanted. Despite knowing that she was in perfectly health Maura was worried about not being able to get pregnant on the first try and despite all her medical data confirming that the procedure rarely worked on the first try just like natural conception didn't comfort her at all.

The thing was Maura had always excelled in everything she ever committed herself to : med school, her residency, her job, her marriage or even raising her son and the idea of not being able to give Jane a child was terrifying her. She knew that Jane would also be willing to consider adoption but she wanted, she needed to carry their child herself and as much as she loved louis knew that becoming a mother without carrying the child would not feel as fulfilling.

Luckily for her Maura knew that Jane and Louis would be there to support her no matter how many time she would need to go through the artificial insemination or IVF procedure.

**Alright guys, I know I wrote about a lot of stuff in this chapter but I wasn't willing to drag the whole insemination thing for an entire chapter. What mattered here was Jane and Maura's argument about the donor. I might be wrong but I can totally picture Maura choosing the donor as if she was looking for a hot date.**

**I noticed the slight decrease of interest for the last chapter. I hope I'm going to try to keep you entertain with this pregnancy. I won't make things easy for them and I'll try to be original and to make her pregnancy different than Jane's.**

**I know this chapter wasn't the best but it was necessary, I think :)**


	44. Results

**I just wanted to dedicate this chapter to all the haters who instead of moving on to better stories pay so much attention to mine that they're actually capable of listing all my grammatical errors and typos and to actually recognize my " style" when I post somewhere else. You guys are the reasons why I do this :) The only thing on earth that can make me stop writing is the lack of inspiration or desire. A few of you insulting me anonymously on some chat have no impact on me what so ever :) I'm very well aware that I'm not the next JK Rowling but as long as I'm enjoying myself I will continue and a few of you insulting me will never compare to the massive positive feedback and encouragement my readers have been sending me since day one.**

**Chapter 44 :**

**Results : **

For the next two weeks life went on as usual, well almost as usual. Eagerly waiting for the appropriate time to take a pregnancy test Maura was a nervous wreck and despite Louis' and Jane's best efforts to keep her mind busy she was incapable of thinking of something else.

That saturday afternoon right after lunch instead of their usual walk to the park Louis and Maura stayed home.

Unable to think about something else than her Doctor's appointment on Monday Maura asked Louis to go play in his room while she laid down for a while.

Unwilling to make his mommy angry Louis nodded and went into his room along with Joe Friday and played there for a good hour before starting to be tired of playing by himself.

Quietly walking towards his mommies bedroom Louis was extremely bothered by his mommy's attitude. He understood that she was nervous but didn't understand why she didn't want to spend time with him anymore.

Slowly pushing the bedroom door Louis was immediately able to see his mommy curled up in fetal position, sobbing.

Frowning as he closed the door before walking towards the living room Louis knew that there was only one person who could make his mommy feel better, that what made her sad was growing up stuff and that he should leave her alone.

"I'm going to call mama Joe Friday, she always know what to do to make mommy feel better." Louis explained looking down at his pet dog while pressing the 1 key on the living room phone before hitting the call button the way his mama had taught him to do in case of an emergency.

At the other side of town Jane had been requisitioned to take part in a very long and boring meeting regarding her department's performances. For the past three hours she had been looking at the ceiling listening to her Captain detailing every single performance review of every single officer working under his command and was praying for a phone call that would free her from it when she suddenly felt her phone vibrating in her pocket.

"Hey Maur' please tell me you need me." Jane said picking up the phone as she immediately recognized her home number.

"It's me mama and yes I need you."Louis said relieved to hear his mama's voice.

"Hey sweetheart, are you alright?"

"I'm okay but mommy is sad. She didn't want to go to the park after lunch and asked me to go play in my room but I got bored all by myself so I went to see her and she was in bed crying. Can you come home?"

"Of course sweetheart, I'll be right home just stay with your mommy alright?" Jane said standing up as she quickly grabbed her jacket.

"Yes mama. I love you."Louis smiled.

"I love you too buddy, I promise everything is going to be alright."

"I know mama. Goodbye."Louis said before hanging up the phone before running back towards his mommies' bedroom.

"Is there a problem Rizzoli?"Captain Cavanaugh asked.

"Yeah, I need to go home."

"This meeting is not over, sit down."He replied pointing her chair out.

"With all due respect Sir, that was my four year old son calling me asking me to come home because his mother, my wife is in bed crying, so forgive me if your annual performance review meeting does not strike me as a priority ."Jane replied looking him straight in the eyes as she grabbed her keys and left the room not caring about the repercussion of her actions.

Back at their house little Louis decided to follow his mama's instructions and to keep Maura's company until she arrived. Climbing in bed next to his mama hoping she wouldn't push him away, Little Louis didn't say a word, he simple snaked his little arms around her.

Positioned on her left side her legs lifted up her chest Maura didn't even flinch when she felt her son's arms around her, she could not turn around or even move because she didn't want him to her crying, but it felt good. Feeling her son's warmth, his gentle touch Maura felt like the worse mother in the world for pushing him away but luckily for her she knew he wouldn't hold a grudge against her, that he understood she was nervous about the baby, or at least she was hoping he understood.

Half an hour later as Maura was finally calming down Louis suddenly heard Jane's car and bounced out off bed to welcome her home.

Half asleep Maura barely noticed that Louis wasn't here and after taking a quick look over her shoulder closed her eyes and went back to sleep.

"Mama, mama, you're here."Louis yelled running in his mama's arms.

"Of course I'm here, so how is your mommy doing?"Jane replied kneeling in front of him.

"I did what you said. I stayed with her and held her as tight as I could and she stopped crying but she needs you mama."Louis replied knowing that as comforting as he usually was to his mommy this was different.

"Alright, how about you feed Joe Friday? She's chewing on one of my sleepers so I'm pretty sure she's starving."Jane replied passing her hand through his hair.

"Okay mama. Come here Joe Friday."

Walking towards her bedroom Jane unfortunately had a very precise idea of what was making her wife so sad and she had been preparing herself for it for almost two weeks.

"Hey babe." Jane said gathering her courage as she gently pushed the door before climbing in bed next to her wife.

"Jane, what are you doing here?" Maura mumbled trying to wipe the tears off her face.

"I heard you weren't feeling well so I came home. " Jane said kissing her forehead.

"Did Louis call you?"

"Yes, I taught him to use the speed dial remember?He said you were in bed crying so I came home." Pulling Maura against her, wiping a strain of hair off her face Jane could see the faded make up and knew that she had indeed been crying.

"Oh God, I have to go check on him." Maura mumbled suddenly sitting up in bed realizing that her behavior had scared him so much that he felt compelled to call Jane at work.

"Don't worry about him, he's fine but you've been crying, care to share what's on your mind?" Cupping Maura's face Jane was expecting the bad news and was hoping she would find the word to comfort her.

"I'm not pregnant Jane. I'm so sorry." Maura replied bursting in tears.

"Did you get your periods?"

"No."Maura sobbed almost chocking on her tears.

"Don't tell me you took a test without me."

"No, but I know the procedure failed, I can feel it." Maura replied holding her belly.

"Oh baby, we should wait until the blood test on monday before working ourselves up like that alright?"

"It won't be necessary Jane. I should feel different but I don't, I just don't." Shaking her head trying to convince Jane that what she was feeling was real and that she was right Maura felt empty. Despite the fact that she had been preparing herself for the past two weeks she could not help but feeling like a total failure, especially since Jane got pregnant without even trying.

"I didn't feel anything different until I started puling in the morning which was around the third week and you know some women get morning sickness later or in some rare cases never. And besides since when Dr Isles jumps to conclusion before the lab results come in?"

"I know, I think we've been married for too long." Maura smiled finally relaxing in her wife's arms.

"I know right?See the good influence I am on you? No, seriously Maura, don't worry about a thing, even if you're not pregnant we'll try again next month and the month after that until the procedure works. I promise you're gonna get pregnant, no matter what we have to do to get you there." Jane said kissing Maura's forehead.

"I know. I'm sorry for being so emotional and for dragging you out of your meeting, I know you had been looking forward to it."

"Don't worry those performance reviews things happen every six months. Come on just lay down, I'm gonna check if Louis fed Joe Friday." Jane said gently releasing Maura from her embrace.

"I'm here mommy!" Louis suddenly said barging into their bedroom rushing towards his mommies.

"Hey young man, have you been listening to our conversation this entire time?" Maura frowned helping him climb next to her.

"No mommy. I was waiting behind the door and I heard mama saying my name so I pushed the door. Do you feel better mommy? " Louis asked comfortably settled between his two mommies.

"Yes, thank you for calling your mama. I'm sorry for scaring you, I was just not feeling so well, but I'm better now, thanks to you."

"You're welcome mommy but is the baby okay?" Louis asked resting his head on Maura's belly.

"Actually we don't know if I'm pregnant yet. Remember we explained to you that we went to the Doctor and that he tried to help us make a baby but that sometimes it doesn't work the first time."

"Oh, okay."Louis replied shaking his head, keeping his finger crossed.

The next monday Maura woke up later than usual, Louis in her arms and a post it on Jane's pillow :

_"I met him in the bathroom this morning and I figured you could finish your night together. I will join you at the clinic for the result. I love you. Det Sergent Jane Rizzoli."_

Smiling Maura gently tried to extract herself from her son's embrace determined to let sleep a little longer, little she knew Louis was already up.

"I'm up mommy. What time is it? " Louis yawned slowly opening his eyes.

"It's half past nine, but remember your school is closed today so you can stay in bed as long as you want." Maura smiled passing her hand through his hair.

"No, I'm not tired anymore, but mommy I thought we were going to the Doctor today to see if you're pregnant?"

"Yes. I have to go to see my Doctor just before lunch time so he can do some tests and then later this afternoon your mama and I will go back to find out if I'm pregnant. Don't worry I will drop you at your grand mother. "

"No mommy, I wanna come with you!"Louis objected crossing his arms on his chest.

"Oh sweetheart, I appreciate the thought but it's better if you stay with your grand mother, but don't worry we will come to pick you up as soon as we have the results."

"NO, I want to be there with you!You said I could help you, you promised!"

"Alright, alright calm down. I will take you to the clinic with me but you have to process to stay quiet." Maura replied knowing that being Jane's son he would not give up.

"I promise mommy!"

Two hours later Maura and Louis find themselves in Dr Thorton's office waiting for him to take her blood.

"Don't be nervous mommy, I will make sure he doesn't hurt you." Louis said sitting on his mommy's lap determined to take care of her in Jane's absence.

"I know, I know."Maura smiled kissing the top of his head.

A few minutes later Dr Thorton was finally available.

"Hi Maura, I'm so sorry for the delay. I had an emergency with a patient. Oh and who would you be young man." Dr Thorton said as she walked towards Maura and Louis.

"I'm Louis Isles . My mama is working so I'm here to help my mommy if she needs me you know." Louis said politely offering his hand for Dr Thorton to shake.

"Oh, I have heard so much about you Louis, I'm very happy to finally meet you." Dr Thorton replied impressed by polite he was.

"I'm sorry but his school is being inspected by the health departement today and he insisted to come."

"It's perfectly fine. Hey young man, how about you go sit on the couch right there for a few minutes just the time for me to do some tests on your mommy. I promise it's only going to take a few minutes."

"Okay." Louis replied bouncing out off Maura's lap taking his toy trunk with him.

"Please Maura, if you don't mind taking your jacket off so I can take some blood." Dr Thorton said inviting Maura to sit on the examination table a few feet from his desk.

"Yes, sure. I must say I'm a bit nervous." Maura said taking or her jacket, her hands slightly shaking.

"It's perfectly natural, but remember, not succeeding the first time doesn't mean you failed. You're in excellent health and I see no reason for you not to get pregnant."

"I know, I know." Maura replied shaking her head trying to rationalize the situation by telling herself that conception rarely works on the first time, that it wouldn't mean there is something wrong with her.

As Dr Thorton was taking Maura's blood Louis stayed back playing with his toy truck trying to pay attention to his mommy's face.

He knew that Jane would want him to make sure that his mommy was safe and that the Doctor wasn't hurting and so far everything seems to go well.

A few minutes Maura was finally done with the blood work and was able to get dressed and leave the Doctor's office.

"Mommy, mommy. Can I ask something to the Doctor please?" Louis said as they were about to leave his office.

"I suppose you can." Maura replied looking at Dr Thorton not knowing what her son had in mind.

"You can ask me anything Louis, come here." Dr Thorton said kneeling in front of the little boy knowing that he probably had a million question.

"Okay. Well...I thought about it for a long long long time and I don't know if I want a brother or a sister so can I have both?" Louis asked biting his botom lip.

"I...I'll what I can do, but I can't promise you anything alright?"Dr Thorton replied unable to hide his smile.

"Okay. Mommy always said the most important thing is to try. Thank you Doctor." Louis replied giving him a warm hug before rushing back in Maura's arm.

"I will see you at 4 pm for the results." Dr Thorton said opening the door .

"Yes. Jane will be joining us. Thank you Doctor." Leaving his office holding her son's hand Maura started to picture herself with twins. The thought of raising three young children almost froze her blood in her veins. Despite knowing that having twins or even triplets was a possibly with artificial insemination and that unlike with IVF they had no control over it, it wasn't something Jane and her had actually considered and it scared her to death. The plan she had conceived in her head worked for one child only and she knew that having twins would force them to reconsider their entire life and even if having two children was an overwhelming thought she knew that it would be extremely challenging.

A few hours later after a well deserved lunch and a walk in the park Jane, Maura and Louis found themselves back in Dr Thorton office, Louis quietly sitting on Maura's lap trying to hide his enthusiasm.

"Hey, remember we love you and no matter what the results are we will still love you and support you alright?"Jane said holding Maura's hand.

"Yes mommy. We love you very very much." Louis said his head buried in his mommy's chest.

"I know. Thank you , to both of you, you have been so supportive. I love you too." Maura replied taking a deep breath as she finally heard Dr Thorton closing the door behind them.

"Jane, good afternoon, I'm glad you could join us." Dr Thorton said shaking Jane's hand before sitting behind his desk, Maura's results in a brown folder.

"I would not miss it for the world. So, do we have the results?" Jane asked squeezing Maura's hand.

"Actually yes we do. Congratulation Louis, looks like you're going to be a big brother very soon." Dr Thorton smiled handing the results to Maura knowing she would want to double check herself.

"Mommy, mommy!Did you hear?"Louis yelled clapping in his hand.

"Yes sweetheart, just hold on one second. Yes by seeing those results I can confirm that I'm indeed pregnant. Oh Jane, we're having a baby." Maura mumbled turning her head towards her wife, feeling the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"See I told you, I knew it. God I love you." Jane replied cupping her wife's face as she crushed her lips against her mouth.

Sitting on his mommy's lap feeling the intense emotion surrounding him little Louis was also very happy but most importantly he felt like a growing up. Soon he was going to be a big brother and he had every intention of taking his new role very seriously.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Louis asked looking at Dr Thorton confused.

"That I will not be able to tell you now. You know the baby is really really small right now, so I can not tell you today. But once the baby is big enough your mommy is going to come back here and I promise you will be the first to know. How does that sound?" Dr Thorton said.

"MMM, okay Doctor, I trust you. Mama, you know I asked the Doctor if I can have a brother and a sister but he said he could not promise anything but I think that mommy has two babies in her tummy." Louis said looking down at Maura's belly.

Sitting there looking at each other Jane and Maura were overwhelmed but also a bit scared by Louis' gut feeling and were hoping that his intuition was not as good as Jane's. For the past 4 years they had raised him as an only child both knowing they would give him a sibling some day but never considered having twins and it scared both of them because they knew the kind of organization having two babies would require. Luckily for them Maura and Jane had faith, faith in their abilities as parents but also faith in their families and friends.

Thinking about it nothing that happened over the past 5 years had been planned, not Jane's pregnancy, not their wedding, not having to fight Dean or to hide in a cabin in the middle of the woods. Luckily by supporting and loving each other unconditionally Maura and Jane had always been able to overcome every challenge and they knew that if they were lucky enough to have twins they would find a way to make it work.

**So guys, I know a lot of you asked if they were going to have twins and to be honest I don't know yet. I think I will decide at the last minute.**

**Also I don't know if it's realistic for them to bring Louis to the Doctor especially since Maura would have probably collapsed it the result had been negative but I said that I wanted him involved.**

**Actually how sweet was Louis at the begining calling Jane because Maura was crying?**

**I know Maura's reactions was OOC but she's pregnant and her hormones are probably keeping her from being rational.**

**Anyway I hope you like that chapter, I have a few ideas for the rest of this pregnancy but I'm always opened to suggestions :)**


	45. Happy Birthday Louis

**Chapter 45 :**

**Happy birthday Louis :**

A few minutes later, after receiving the good news the little family drove back home.

Her left hand on the steering wheel and her right hand on Maura's thigh Jane was trying to focus on the road but was barely able to get rid of the ridiculous smile on her face.

Three weeks ago her and Maura were fighting over having another child and now Maura was pregnant. Actually Jane had secretly been hoping to have more time to prepare herself was surprised that the procedure succeeded on the first try but here it was : a tiny human being was growing inside her wife's womb.

Gently moving her hand towards Maura's belly seeing how preoccupied she seemed Jane knew exactly what was on her mind.

"I don't want you to worry about a thing, alright? I'm going to take care of our little guy and of the nursery, you won't have to lift a finger. I just want you to focus on our little peanut here, okay?"Jane said gently caressing Maura's belly.

"Yes mommy. Mama and me are going to take care of you. Grand ma says that you need to sleep a lot and eat a lot of veggies but don't worry mommy, I will remind you." Louis added.

"I know sweetheart. I know I'm in good hands with you."Maura replied forcing a smile.

About half an hour later the little family was finally home and Louis was over excited and eager to call his grand parents to tell them the good news but it was not how Jane and Maura had planned to make the announcement.

"I understand that you want to call your grand parents but your mommy and I would prefer to invite every one for dinner to tell them that your mommy is pregnant, just like we did when I found out I was pregnant with you." Jane said as they entered their house.

"Oh mama! I know! We should do it this week end!" Louis suddenly said knowing that all his family would be gathered for his birthday.

"That's very sweet of you but this week end is your birthday and this party should be about you not about me, but thanks for offering." Maura replied moved by the gesture.

"Oh no mommy, I don't mind, thank you mommy for giving me a brother and a sister for my birthday." Louis said snaking his arms around Maura.

"Alright then, but are you sure you can keep the secret until sunday?" Maura asked kneeling in front of him.

"Yes mommy. I promise I won't say anything." Louis enthusiastically replied shaking his head repeatedly.

"Alright then, but just so you know, this isn't your birthday present, your mama and I have found the perfect present and I'm sure you're going to like it."

"Oh no, it's okay mommy I just want a little sister and a little brother. Now can I go have a snack please?"

"Sure, your mama and I need to talk but feel free to help yourself in the kitchen and do not give anything to Joe Friday."Maura replied standing up.

"Okay mommy." Louis replied quickly patting Maura's belly before rushing towards the kitchen followed by his beloved Joe Friday.

Walking towards their bedroom holding Jane's hand Maura was still very preoccupied. There was something that had been bothering her and she had not talk to Jane about it yet.

"I'm pretty sure we just gave him the best birthday present ever!" Jane replied tossing her keys on the night table as she quickly took her shoes off.

"Yes, he seemed rather happy. Speaking of present, I'm counting on you to go to the store on wednesday to pick it up."Maura sitting on the edge of there bed cracking her neck.

"Don't worry about it. I have the gift situation under control while Ma is in charge of the decoration, and your mother of the food and Tommy volunteered to buy the cake. We're all set, so would you mind telling me what's on your mind?" Jane replied sitting next to her as she gently started to pat her back.

"Is there twins in your family?" Maura asked slightly turning her head.

"Actually yes. My mother has a sister who has twins, they're a couple of years younger than me. Is that what is bothering you, because if we do have twins we'll find a way to make it work you know."

"It's not that. Well maybe it is. I mean I always knew that unlike with IVF where you can choose the number of embryos that are implanted Artificial Insemination is a procedure that does not allow you to choose and that we took the risk of me having a multiple pregnancy."

"I know, but there is no need to worry about it until we know, alright. I mean what are the chances of having twins anyway? Louis just said that because he can't decide if he'd prefer a sister or a brother."

"3%. I mean the chances of having twins is 3 % Jane, but this not what worries me the most. I mean if we have twins or even triplets, we'll find a way to make it work. Not only we have family and friends that support us but we have the financial means to get all the help we need but we're also a terrific team."

"You're right, then what's troubling you?"

"You know that there are at least one set of twins of your family and you were able to gather your family history when you were pregnant but I don't know anything about my birth family. I don't know if breast cancer is something that particularly affects the women of my family, or if baldness affects the men or if some of my relatives have diabetes. I know nothing about my family Jane."Maura replied her voice slightly shaking.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I didn't…it didn't occur to me."Kissing her wife's temple Jane realized that as a Doctor Maura wanted to know if any genetic diseases like cancer or diabetes ran in her family so they could prepare themselves better.

"It's alright, it's just that knowing what genetic disease run if our families helps you being more prepared especially when it comes to diabetes."

"Okay. I'm probably going to regret this but would you like me to try to contact Doyle? I know we haven't heard from him in almost four years but considering he's been sending presents to Louis, it's pretty clear that he's keeping himself informed."

"Not now. Let's wait after the first trimester to see how things goes, because you know there is still a risk a miscarriage and I would not want to put him in danger for nothing."

"Alright. We'll wait but whenever you feel ready, just say the word and I'll find him, if he doesn't find us first." The truth was that Jane knew that Doyle was not far. She could almost feel his presence from time to time, at the park or during their annual barbecue at the Isles' mansion. Doyle had spent his entire life looking out for Maura and she knew he would never stop, no matter how far he was.

"Thank you darling." Resting her head on Jane's shoulder Maura wasn't wiling to admit it but she missed Doyle. Despite knowing he was a cold blooded killer she could not help but to love him, knowing that he spent his life looking out for her and that he had dismantled his organization to protect her.

Paddy Doyle, one of America's most vicious mob lord had given everything up to protect her and even if it couldn't erase all the lives he had ruined it certainly showed Maura how sincere he was and that people can change. Unfortunately despite promising her to introduce her to her mother once things would have settled down the only news they ever received were occasional letters with presents for Louis.

Now that she was pregnant and knowing he would find out eventually Maura was secretly hoping that knowing he was about to be a grand father again would push him to come to her and who knows introduce her to her birth mother.

"You know, Louis is having a snack and after that he's probably going to watch some tv so I'd say we have about an hour to celebrate before giving him his bath and having dinner." Jane said a few minutes later as she gently started to kiss Maura's neck slowly sliding her hand in her shirt.

"Wait Jane…" Maura objected despite feeling instantly aroused as she felt Jane's tongue ticking her ear lobe.

"Come on Maura, we hadn't had sex since the insemination two weeks ago." Jane replied ignoring Maura's objection as she continue to deepen her hand into Maura's shirt.

" I mean it Jane. I think we should refrain from having sex until we can locate a heart beat." Maura replied gently pushing her away.

"Why?" Jane asked confused.

"Because having orgasms can provoke uterine contractions that could lead the embryo to be expelled leading me to miscarry. I know it's very rare and that my cervix are strong and that I'm not experiencing any bleeding but considering I'm almost 40 this pregnancy is considered risky and I don't want to take any chances. I know it's another 6 weeks of waiting but please try to understand." Maura replied knowing from personal experience that pregnancy was a tricky time for their sex life and hoping that Jane would be able to understand.

"Alright baby, just breath okay? I read articles on the subject and it's very rare. Refraining from sex is only advised to women who are experiencing bleeding or who have dilated cervix or who miscarried in the past, but if you think it's better if we wait until the baby is a little bigger and a little stronger I will wait okay?" Pulling Maura against her Jane had a feeling that the next 6 weeks were going to be challenging but remembered how patient Maura had been when she was pregnant and reluctant to have sex.

Luckily for her Jane also had a feeling that this pregnancy was probably going to be sexually challenging, that Maura overwhelmed by the hormones would probably become insatiable and she could not wait to take a sip at her wife's enhanced libido.

A few days after spending the entire week avoiding their families and friends knowing that it would be almost impossible to hide their enthusiasm Jane and Maura had gathered every one for Louis' birthday.

Determined to make his last birthday as an only child memorable the entire Rizzoli-Isles & friends spent the morning decorating their living room and cooking his favorite lunch, eager to spoil the little man with more gifts he could have ever wished for.

Sitting on their mummies' bed observing them getting dressed Louis wanted to ask something to Maura but he didn't know how to ask for it or if she was going to agree.

"Mommy, Mama, can I ask you something please?"Louis asked Maura who was putting her earrings on a few feet away from him.

"Of course you can. What's on your mind?" Looking at Jane Maura was wondering why Louis who was always so excited to have their entirely family gathered had been so quiet all morning.

"Well, I know you already gave me my gift mommy and that grand ma always say that asking is not polite but can I tell everyone about the baby, please?"Louis pouted putting his most adorable face on.

"Funny you ask us that, because your mommy and I were actually going to ask you to make the announcement."Jane replied giving a quick look at Maura hoping for her approval.

"Really?"

"Yes, you're the big brother and you said you wanted to help us and to be honest your mommy always gets emotional when she has to make that kind of announcement so she's probably going to start crying before she even opens her mouth, so I actually really need your help on this." Jane replied smiling happy to see that he was genuinely trying to be as involved as possible with this pregnancy.

"Thank you mama, come on let's go we have to tell them before lunch!"Louis said bouncing out off bed before giving his mommies a big hug.

"Alright. I think everyone is here, are you alright babe?"

"Yes. I'm just so proud of our little man. You're such a caring, loving and compassionate little boy Louis and this baby is going to be the luckiest child on the planet to have you as a big brother." Maura said picking him up in her arms.

"Thank you mommy, but the baby is the one lucky to have mommies like you and I feel lucky too."Louis replied snaking his arms around Maura's neck as they three of them walked toward the living room.

Stepping into the living room the three of them immediately felt a dozen pair of eyes on them.

"Ah, here's the man of the day. How does it feel to be older?" Mr Isles asked from the other side of the room.

"I feel bigger grand pa. You know mommy and mama gave me the best present in the world." Louis said as Maura gently sat on the edge of the large velvet chair next to the couch, still holding him.

"Oh, I thought you wanted to have all your presents at the same time after lunch?"Angela asked disappointed that Louis had refused to open her gift in advance.

"Oh I know grand ma, don't be mad but it's…mommy can I tell every one?"Louis asked looking up to Maura for approval.

"Sure, whenever you're ready."Maura replied kissing the top of his head as she felt Jane's arm around her shoulder.

"Okay. I'm going to be a big brother very very soon." Louis enthusiastically said looking at the assembly in front of him who was eagerly waiting for the big announcement.

"Are you pregnant?" Constance mumbled suddenly feeling invaded by a warm feeling of pride and happiness.

"Yes. Mommy has a little brother and a little sister in her tummy."Louis replied gently patting Maura's belly.

"You're having twins?" Korsak hissed already picturing Jane completely overwhelmed and completely panicked.

"We don't know that yet. I'm only three weeks pregnant but Louis here decided he wanted a brother AND a sister. We will know in about 5 weeks once I take the eighth week ultrasound. " Maura explained .

"Well twins or not, congratulations!" Angela said walking towards the three of them with open arms.

"Thank you Ma. " Jane replied as she felt her mother's arms tightening around her shoulders.

So that afternoon the Rizzoli- Isles & friend clan enjoyed a nice lunch talking about the baby, making plans, well actually Louis monopolized most of the conversation and it became very clear to everyone that he was already taking his role very seriously and that he was eager to meet his new sibling.

Right after lunch after opening his presents Louis along with his uncles Vince, Barry, Frankie and Tommy decided to go try the awesome bike his mommies had bought him.

"Alright sweetheart, how do you feel? Is it too tight?" Maura asked trying to fix his helmet, checking that his elbow and knee protection were correctly installed as well.

"It's alright mommy, I promise. Can I please go? Every one is waiting for me outside." Standing in front of his mommy wearing protections around every single part of his body Louis was eager to go out and spend some time with his uncles.

" Alright, but be careful alright? Tommy, you're responsible for him okay?" Maura said looking straight into her brother in law's eyes making it clear that if anything happened he would be held responsible.

"Don't worry Maur' I got this, now come on Louis. " Tommy replied as he walked towards the backyard door holding Louis' hand in one hand and his bike in the other.

Over the past four years not only Maura had gotten closer to her parents but Jane had gotten closer to Tommy. After years of "sending his life down the toilet" Tommy had finally settled down with a normal and legal job and was now very close to his family. Actually to every one big surprise Tommy turned out to be a very devoted and doted uncle who could spend hours playing with Louis and Jane and Maura trusted him just as much as they trusted Frankie.

"He's sure growing fast." Standing in the kitchen with Constance cleaning up the dishes from lunch Angela was barely able to believe that she was about to be a grand mother again, god knew she couldn't count on Tommy or Frankie to give her grand children.

"Oh yeah, he's actually very mature for his age. He insisted on being there when Maura took the blood test last monday and to be with us when we got the results. He already feels very responsible for this child." Jane replied from the other side of the living room as she was clearing the rest of the dishes off the table.

"Child or children?" Constance asked winking at Maura.

"I don't know that yet mom but for some reason Louis is convinced that I'm expecting twins. I think he's projecting his desire to have both a brother and a sister and I hope he won't be disappointed if I only have one baby." Sitting at the kitchen counter Maura's head was slightly pounding. Despite not having experienced morning sicknesses yet, she did suffer from occasional nausea and all that food didn't help.

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure he's going to br thrilled no matter how many siblings you're going to give him." Constance replied reaching out for her daughter's forehead.

"I'm okay mom. It's just all that food that makes me nauseous." Maura replied.

"Hey why don't you go lay down for a while, we have every thing under control here." Walking towards the kitchen her hands full Jane knew how hard Maura hard worked to put this party together and was hoping that she wasn't gonna faint or her.

"Yes. This week has been particularly exhausting. Thank you." Maura replied standing up holding her mother's hand.

"You're welcome. I love you." Jane replied kissing her forehead.

"I love you too. I will see you in a little while. Mom, would you mind escorting me?"

"Of course darling." Constance replied snaking her arms around Maura's shoulder.

Watching her wife and mother in law walking away Jane was suddenly hit by the reality : Maura was pregnant and in about 9 months they were going to welcome a new baby but strangely it doesn't scare her. Maura and her were a team and she knew they would find a way to balance her career, Louis' education and raising this new baby but despite trying her best to hide it she was worried about the pregnancy itself. From personal experience she knew that despite being extremely fulfilling being pregnant was also physically and emotionally painful and was hoping that they would not be any complications .

**So guys, I realized that it's actually September and Louis was born at the end of this particular month so I had to write about his birthday.**

**Also I needed to slowly introduce Doyle's possible return. I mean do you think he's gonna be able to resist visiting his pregnant daughter?**

**We'll see. I haven't decided yet but I thought it would make sense Maura would ask herself if diabetes or twins ran in her family and as a consequence would start thinking about him.**

**Thanks for the support on the last chapter and for agreeing with everything I said in that rant :)**

**I don't know what the next chapter is going to be about but I have a small idea. I want to focus on the pregnancy but life goes on and I might want to focus on other issues that have nothing to do with the baby, maybe something that happened at his school, something I never talked about in my other stories :)**

**Happy easter everyone please be careful with the chocolate :) I know I will and as usual ideas and feedback are always welcome. I'm trying to pay attention to keep the typos to a minimal, hope I'm making progress ;)**


	46. Explaining homophobia to a four year old

**Chapter 46 :**

**Explaining homophobia to a four year old.**

The next day after dropping Louis to school Maura decided to treat herself with some shopping and a spa treatment to release the tension accumulated over the past few weeks.

Around noon feeling re energized she decided to visit Jane had the station and invite her for lunch. Walking towards the squad room unable to hide her smile Maura was feeling different.

For the first two weeks of her pregnancy she had not feel any real changes in her mood, her appetite or sleeping patterns but ever since she had found out she was pregnant she had started to feel nauseous, tired and felt overwhelmed by an intense feeling of fulfillment and pride.

"Maura, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?" Seeing Maura walking towards her desk Jane immediately imagined the worse.

"Yes, everything is perfectly fine Jane. I took our son so school this morning and after that treated myself with a spa treatment, pedicure, manicure and a brazilian."

"Maura! Filter! I don't think every one here needs to hear the details, but please sit." Jane replied puling a chair for her rolling her eyes at the thought of her wife perfectly shaved knowing she was not allowed to enjoy it.

"Yes, I'm sorry Jane. I just feel so much better, full of energy." Maura replied sitting on the chair next to Jane's desk, crossing her legs.

"I know the past few weeks have been exhausting both emotionally and physically but I made a few arrangements and from now on I will be dropping Louis at school so you can sleep a bit longer and I'm also looking to hire a house keeper so you won't need to lift a finger around the house." Jane explained pointed out her computer screen.

"Oh Jane, that's very sweet of you but I'm still capable of taking care of domestic chores. We will see about hiring someone later alright?"

"No. I'm going to hire someone to help you now and this is not up for discussion, now come on let's get some lunch. " Standing up grabbing her jacket on the back of her chair Jane was determined to make things as easy as possible for her wife and had called Constance who recommended a good cleaning service.

"Yes, that is why I came here." Maura replied snaking her arms around Jane's waist not caring if people saw them.

The thing was that Maura and Jane were very opened and public with their relationship and could not care less about what people said and considering that Maura was very much into public displays of affection being accepted by every one came as a blessing.

"I know and I'm starving, and not only for food if you know what I mean." Jane replied pressing her lips against her giving it a quick bite.

"You're the strongest person I know and I truly trust you to refrain yourself. Oh my phone is vibrating, excuse me for a second. Maura Isles speaking. Yes. I'm sorry, what happened? Yes, my wife and I will be right there, please do not touch him I will examine him myself. " Sliding the phone back in her pocket Maura was lacking words , she could not believe this was happening.

"Babe, what's wrong? What happened?" Jane frowned.

"Louis, he got into a fight at school during lunch. He's at the infirmary. We need to go there Jane." Maura mumbled dragging Jane towards the elevator.

"What happened? Is he hurt?" Running towards the elevator Jane, as a cop started to imagine the worst case scenario and was wondering what had pushed him to get into a fight.

"I don't know. The head master said he was fine. Oh Jane, what could have pushed him to get into a fight? He's the sweetest little boy…" Maura replied unable to hide the panic and distress.

"I know, I'm pretty sure that someone provoked him, we raised him better than this, don't worry." Pulling her wife in her arms kissing her forehead Jane's heart was pounding her chest. She had raised her son to be well behaved and not to use his fists to solve his problem but always knew that boys fought and that being a Rizzoli he would get into a fight at some point but she was hoping it would be much later.

Half an hour later Jane and Maura arrived at the school infirmary and found Louis sitting on a chair, a piece of cotton in his nostrils.

"Mommy, you're here." Louis yelled bouncing off his chair running in Maura's arms .

"Louis, come back here!" The nurse yelled trying to grab his arm.

"Yes, I'm here sweetheart. You, do not touch my son. I will take it form here." Maura replied holding Louis in her left arms defensively blocking the nurse with her right arm.

"Yes. My wife is a Doctor and she will be examining him thank you." Jane replied.

"I'm so sorry Mommy, I promise it's not my fault." Louis said bursting into tears.

"It's alright sweetheart, does your nose hurt? " Pulling out the bloody piece of cotton Maura gently started examining his nose hoping it wasn't broken.

"Mrs Isles?" A strong masculine voice suddenly spoke a few feet away.

"Yes, I'm Sergeant Jane Isles, my wife Dr Maura Isles, you must be the head master." Jane said shaking his hand.

"Hi, Yes I'm Mr Collins, how is your son?" The man was a forty year old african american, about 6 feet tall, with small glasses and a mustache and seem rather nice considering the circumstances.

" It doesn't look broken but I will take him to the ER once we're done here. Can you tell us what happened?" Maura asked gently jiggling Louis in her arms..

"Well according to his teacher, everything was fine. Louis and his friends from his classe were having lunch when a couple of older boys who were sitting behind them started talking to them and Louis pushed one of the boy who pushed him back and that's when he hit his head on his chair." The headmaster explained trying to be as thorough as possible without scaring them.

"Is that what happened son? Did you push that boy?" Jane asked rising her voice her fists clenched on both side of her hips.

"I'm sorry Mama but he said something bad about you and mommy so I pushed him because he didn't want to say he was sorry." Louis replied not showing any fear to his mother. He knew that Jane had taught him to defend himself but never to start a fight and he was convinced that he applied her advice to the word.

"What exactly did he say for you to loose control of your actions?" Seeing how strongly Louis felt about what happened Maura knew that something terrible must have had happened.

"He…He…Mommy is it okay if I talk to mama alone? Please?" Thinking about the fight and the reason why he pushed that other kid Louis knew it would break Maura's heart if she knew what was really happend and wanted to talk to Jane first.

"Mmm, sure. Mr Collins and I will be right outside." Leaving Louis on the chair behind Jane Maura was shocked and hurt that he would not confide in her but knew that he probably had a very good reason and was actually grateful that he was willing to open up to Jane.

"Thank you mommy. I love you. You too." Louis replied kissing Maura's cheek before patting her belly.

Watching the headmaster and Maura leave the room Jane started to have a small idea of what went one and was determined to make sure it would never happen again.

"So, now that we're alone, would you mind telling me what happened?" Sitting next to her son looking at his bloody nose Jane knew that she needed to be gentle and patient, that confronting and pushing him in a corner wouldn't bring any answers.

"Well I was eating my peas even if I don't like them because mommy says that everything that is green is good for me and I was telling Emily about the babies. I said that mommy had two babies in her tummy and that I was going to be a big brother and that I could not wait to meet them."

"Okay, then what happened?"

"I heard that boy from another other class saying that I was not a real big brother because mommy is not my real mommy. I turned around and told him that it was not true."

"You were right, she is your mommy just like I am but is this why you pushed him?"

"No, he kept on saying I was wrong not him so I stood up and asked him to say he was sorry and he said no and that you and mommy were…." Looking at his feet Louis wasn't capable of repeating that heinous word, he didn't know what it meant but it knew it was a very bad word.

"Louis, look at me. What ever he said you can tell me. I promise." Cupping her son's face with her right hand Jane had a very precise idea of the word that child used and could not believe that it. She knew that at some point he would be confronted with homophobia but didn't expect it to be so soon and she wasn't about to allow it to happen again.

"He said that mommy and you were dykes. I don't know what that word means but it sounds like a very very bad word and that's why I pushed him. I'm so sorry mama but you always say that telling lies is bad and he said lies about mommy, she's my real mommy." Bursting in tears in her mama's arms little Louis was hurt, he did not know what that word means but he knew that Maura was his mother and the fact that someone was questioning that hurt him deeply.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry that you had to hear that word but I'm proud of you for standing up for your mommy. You're very brave but if it ever happens again do not push him, just walk away and talk to me, okay?" Wiping the tears of her son's face Jane could not help but being proud of her son. He was only four but he chose to stand up for Maura just the way she would have.

"Okay, but I'm a big boy now and I can protect mommy but I promise I will talk to you. Are you going to talk to mommy? I don't want to see her sad because of what he said…"

"I know sweetheart and I understand why you wanted to talk to me in private but don't worry I have been married to your mommy for many years and I know how to talk to her without hurting her. Do you trust me?"

"Yes mama. I trust you." Louis replied smiling as she snaked his arms around her neck.

"Good. Well I'm going to leave you for a little while, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes. My nose hurts but I'm okay. Us Rizzoli are strong, that's what uncle Tommy said when I fell of my bike." Louis said trying to hide his pain.

"He was right. We're going to take you to see a Doctor in a little while. I love you son." Jane said gently rubbing his back.

" I love you too mama."

Walking towards the door seeing how impatient and preoccupied Maura seemed to be Jane was trying to find the most appropriate words that would describe what happened without hurting Maura.

"Did he tell you what happened?" Maura asked as soon as Jane closed the door behind her.

"Apparently he was minding his own business and talking about the baby with his friend Emily when that kid sitting behind him said he was not going to be a big brother because you were not his mother. Louis told him it was not true and when the kid said it again he asked him to apologize but he refused and used the D word, that's when he pushed him." Jane explained holding Maura's hand expecting her to collapse.

"Oh my …. Does he even know what that word mean?" Maura mumbled looking through the window seeing her son sobbing.

"No he doesn't but he felt it was a bad word, probably from the way that kid said it. How old is that other child?"

"He's 6 and I'm very sorry. I already called his parents, they should be here in a few minutes. You know our school as a no tolerance policy regarding discriminations and I will make sure that the parents are aware of the words he used." Shocked by Louis' revelation the headmaster who had suffered from discrimination himself was determined not to let this go. A school was supposed to be a safe place for the children and a place to learn respect and tolerance and he was not about to let his establishment's reputation tainted by a homophobic scandal.

"He probably repeated what he heard at home, that's why I would like to talk to the parents too." Jane said her hand on her hips revealing her badge.

"Alright. I understand your desire to meet with his parents. I will talk to them and arrange a meeting but right now your son needs to rest." The head master replied knowing there was no way he could keep Jane from talking to the other boy's parents especially since she was a cop.

"Yes, we're going to take him to the ER and then home. I will be expecting a phone call with a date and time for this meeting." Jane said shaking his hand.

"Of course. Mrs Isles. I'm really sorry for what happened, but Louis is a very smart boy and he loves you very much and I'm sure that if you explain things to him this event should not leave any scar."

"I hope so, thank you for your help." Maura nodded shaking his hand as well.

Standing there watching Louis at the other side of that transparent door Jane standing Maura her arms snaked around her could feel how hurt both Maura and Louis were. All her life she had worked hard to protect the people of Boston and to try to make it a better place hoping that their children would be able to live in a world free of murders, discrimination and hatred but always knew that those would never be completely eradicated and that no matter how hard she tried to protect her family she could not keep them 100 % safe.

"You're his mother and he loves you more than anything." Jane whispered kissing Maura's shoulder.

"I know Jane but I hate that he had to stand up for me. He 's only four and should not have to deal with homophobia when he can't even understand what that word means." Maura sighed leaning back against Jane.

"I know, but we both knew that this day would come, that he would at some point be teased for having two mommies. I was kinda hoping it would come much later once he'd be old enough to understand it but it happened today and we're going to have to have a conversation with him."

"I know, well we should get him now. His nose is not broken but I want his head checked out immediately." Maura replied taking a step towards the door.

Immediately seeing his mommies stepping into the infirmary Louis bounced off his seat and rushed into Maura's arms.

"Mommy, I'm so sorry for pushing him. I promise I won't do it again." Louis mumbled scared of being punished for his actions

"I know sweetheart, now let's get you to the hospital to have your head checked by a Doctor."

"You're a Doctor mommy, you can take care of me."

"I know but I would prefer if a friend of mine who's a special Doctor for children saw you."

"Okay mommy. You know what that boy said is not true, you're my mommy and I love you so so much." Louis said tightening his arms around Maura's neck.

"I know and I love you too. Now come one let's go."

So that afternoon Jane and Maura took Louis to the ER where a friend of Maura examined her and determined there was no reason to suspect internal bleeding.

Arriving at their house little Louis' head was still pounding and he was still feeling bad for Maura and refused to let her go when she put him to bed to rest before taking his bath.

"Mommy please stay with me." Louis begged as he settled in his mommies' bed.

"I will stay with you but I need to talk to your mama for a few minutes." Maura replied kissing his slightly warm forehead.

"Okay mommy. I will wait for you to come back. I love you." Louis replied pulling to the covers up.

"I love you too son. " Maura replied turning off the lights as she walked towards the door.

"How is he?" Sitting on the couch Jane had been trying to find the best way to explain what homophobia was to her son and was hoping Maura had better ideas than her.

"He's got a slight fever but he should be alright. So, any idea how we're going to tell him?" Sitting on Jane's lap burying her head in her neck Maura was desperately waiting for her faithful night in shinning armor to rescue her and save the day.

"I think we should tell him the truth, that some people don't like the idea of two women together and that it's not okay to hate people because they're different. Come on, let's go if we over think it we're gonna confuse him more."

"Alright." Maura sighed standing up holding Jane's hand.

Stepping into their bedroom Jane and Maura took a couple of seconds to marvel at their son comfortably settled in their bed thinking that it was not fair that he had to loose his innocence and the perfect view he had of the world so young.

"Hey there, may we come in?" Jane asked .

"It's your bedroom mama." Louis smiled sitting up in bed.

"True. So your mommy and I wanted to talk to you about what happened more precisely about that word that other kid used." Climbing in bed with her son followed by her wife Jane knew she had to find simple but explicit words to explain something that she barely made sense to her.

"I know it's a very bad bad word Mama, is it like the N word ? " Louis asked climbing on his mama's lap.

"Yes it is. I know that your uncle Barry explained to you that people who don't like black people would use that word and that it was very mean." Maura replied remembering the conversation Detective Frost had with him on the fourth of July after Louis heard sometimes calling him a negro.

"So he doesn't like you? Why? I don't understand, he doesn't know you." Crossing his arms on his chest Louis was confused, he didn't understood why someone who never met his mommies could hate them.

"Well… As you know most of the time a family is composed of a daddy, a mommy and children but sometimes a family can be two daddies or two mommies."

"Like our family." Louis nodded.

"Yes but there are some people that don't like when two women like your mommy and I or when two boys are in love and that's why they use that word."

"But I don't understand why they don't like when two girls or two boys love each other. "

"Well some of them think that God said that it's wrong for a girl to love a girl or for a boy to love a boy." Maura explained. Despite not being very religious she knew that faith was very important to Jane and especially to Angela and had allowed her mother in law to teach him her religious values the same way Constance had taught him about art, to open his mind and to teach him to believe in something and to think by himself.

"No, that's not true! God loves every one, even bad people!"

"I know sweetheart. You know people like your mommy, I and your uncle Barry are used to some people treating us differently because we're not exactly like them just l but we never wanted you to be treated differently. "

"It's okay mama, you didn't do anything wrong. Mommy and you love each other and you love me and it's the people who hate us for being a happy family that are wrong and very very bad people, don't cry mama, please." Snaking his arms around Jane's neck Louis was skeptic, he could not comprehend why people would hate his mommies for loving each other but he could see how badly her mommies were hurt because of what had happened and was determined to cheer them up the only way he knew : by being affectionate and adorable.

"I'm alright sweetheart, it's just that I'm so proud of you for being such a good boy. Your mommy and I are both very lucky." Sobbing Jane realized that she might have been a good role model for him after all, that he was a very strong, compassionate little boy who was willing to fight to protect the people he loved.

"Yes we are and later this week we're going to talk to that boy's parents and we're going to make sure he doesn't bother you again." Snaking her arms around Jane and Louis Maura felt terrible that her four year old son had to fight for her and was determined to make it really clear to that kid's parents that she would not accept any homophobic comment to be thrown at her son's face.

"It's okay, I can take care of myself mommy but I don't understand why he said you're not my real mommy."

"Well he probably said that because he knows that I didn't carry you in my belly, that your mama did because you look like her a lot you know."

"I don't understand grand ma didn't carry you in her tummy but she's still your mommy because she takes care of you and loves you right?" Louis siad narrowing his eyes.

"Yes my parents adopted me the way I adopted you the same way Emily's dad adopted her but for some people loving your child doesn't make you a parent. Do you understand?"

"Yes but it's not fair, you take care of me, you give me my bath every day, you tie up my shoes and you hold me when I'm sick, and you even make me macaroni and cheese, you're my mommy and I don't care what people say."

"Me neither." The truth was that Maura did care. For now it was okay that people questioned her relationship with Louis because as he was very young and naive he could not understand their reasons so was not really affected by the insults but she was scared that growing up he might start having trouble with people disrespecting her and Jane.

Holding Louis and Jane tight Maura knew that no matter how hard they both tried to protect him they could not keep him from having to face homophobia and hatred and they would have to love him unconditionally and try to explain things to him. They knew that the best way for him not to be affected by the hatred was to understand that what people wasn't true so he could ignore them. Unfortunately being as protective as he already was and having inherited Jane's temper she was scared that his visceral desire to protect her and defend her honor might cause him trouble later.

Also Jane and Maura knew that on top of raising Louis to be smarter and stronger than haters they were going to have to educate the haters as well , that ignoring hatred was not the way to eradicate it. Over the past 5 years despite being opened about their relationship Jane and Maura never took part in any manifestation for gay rights but now that they had a son that was old enough to be hurt by homophobia they felt that the time had come to step up and use the voice and influence they had in this city to try to change things so the child Maura was carrying would not have to go through was Louis had to face today.

**Alright guys. I realize that in my other stories I never had Jane and Maura's kids stuggle with homophobia. You might think it's too soon that he's only four but being adopted and black myself I can tell you that hatred can start at any age.**

**Obviously this story is focused on Maura's pregnancy but life goes on and as I said I wanted to talk about issues that happen in every day's life that have nothing to do with the baby(ies).**

**Again I don't hang around 4 year old kids every day and the only kid I ever talked to about it were my cousins that were like 8 at the time so I hope it wasn't too childish.**

**I know a lot of you think Louis is too mature for a four year old but thinking about it I talked to him the same way when I was around his age so I dunno...**

**Anyway thanks for the support.**


	47. Stepping up

**Hey guys, looks like the site or reviews were down yesterday, that or this chapter was boring :(**

**Please take 30 seconds to review and to give me your opinion and if you want me to write one last chapter on this plot. thanks**

**Chapter 47 :**

**Stepping up : **

Around 5 O clock that afternoon after spending over an hour cuddling with him mommies Louis fell asleep in their bed their arms wrapped around him.

Both laid on their sides marveling at their little angel trying to recover from his painful day the two women started to think about their next step and how they were going to make sure that what happened today would never happen again.

Over the past four years Jane and Maura had made new friends among the other parents they frequently saw at the park or at the various activities they had enrolled Louis it and so far all of them had accepted and treated them like any other couple.

Unfortunately they always knew that from the moment Louis started school things might change and that they would probably need to educate some other parents without being threatening or judgmental but by remaining strong and firm on what they would and what they would never tolerate.

"I don't know if said it recently but I'm so grateful for our life, you know I never imagined that I would ever be that happy, that I would get married to that one person in 6 billions that was custom made for me and that we would have a beautiful, smart, compassionate son and a baby on the way. You gave me everything I ever wanted but never dared to hope for." Jane said wandering her hand on Maura's hand looking down at their son comfortably sleeping between them.

"Me neither. I spent years convincing myself that I being accomplished in my career and in my philanthropic endeavors and trips around the world would have to be enough because I would never meet someone that would accept me for who I was until I met you. I always dreamed about getting married, having a family, about carrying a child and thanks to you I'm realizing all those dreams, that were actually fantasies that were never meant to come true." Maura replied placing Jane's hand on her belly.

"Come on, we should let him rest and prepare dinner." Jane replied slowly escaping her son's embrace.

"Good idea, I think mac and cheese should cheer him up." Maura replied kissing Louis' warm forehead.

Closing the door behind them the two women remained amazed by how resilient and strong children could be. Where most adults would have fallen apart, Louis just kept his head up and ended up comforting his mommies.

"Should I draw him a bath now? I mean we should wake him up soon otherwise he won't sleep tonight." Jane asked turning her head towards the door as she heard someone knocking.

"Yes, we should let him sleep for a few more minutes and make him take his bath, would you get that please?" Maura replied walking towards the kitchen.

"Sure." Walking towards the door Jane prayed that it wasn't her mother who would have heard about what happened. Louis needed to rest, not be overwhelmed by Angela turning this incident into a crime against humanity making it bigger than it was .

Luckily for the Isles family when Jane opened the door she was surprised to see Louis' best friend Emily and her mother Clarice.

"Hey, how are you?" Jane said as she opened the door unable to hide her surprise.

"We're good, we came to check up on Louis." Clarice replied holding her daughter's hand.

"Of course, please come in. Louis is fine, his head still hurt a bit and has some fever but he should be alright, he's in my bedroom over there, why don't you go check on him? I'm sure he's gonna be happy to see you." Jane said kneeling in front of the little girl pointing her bedroom knowing Louis would be thrilled to see her.

Emily and her family lived only a few house down theirs and Maura and Clarice had met at the park four years ago and had become close friends and the children were now inseparable.

"Thanks Mrs Isles." Emily replied giving Jane a quick hug before running towards the bedroom.

"Oh Clarice, it's very nice to see you." Maura said from the kitchen seeing her dear friend walking towards her.

"I hope you don't mind us coming unannounced but Emily told me what happened and she was very upset and was worried that Louis might have broke his nose." The truth was that Emily had been almost impossible to manage during the rest of the day and had rushed into her mother's arms crying when she came to pick her up at her school and explained what had happened, and shocked by this other boy's behavior.

"His nose is fine, he probably burst a blood vessel when he bumped his head, that's why he was bleeding. We took him to the ER and he had a Head CT and he's fine." Maura replied inviting her to sit down.

"Thank God. Emily told me exactly what happened and I could no believe it. How is he taking this?"

"We talked to him and tried to explained to him what homophobia meant and why some people have trouble seeing same sex parents raising children and he took it better than we thought. At first he was confused and angry at that child but thank god he understood that what ever those people would say about us it was not the truth and that he should ignore them, that all that mattered was that we loved him and each other." Jane explained her arms wrapped around Maura's shoulder.

"Yes. At first we always thought that the later we would have to explain things to him the better because he would be able to understand things but but because he's very young and innocent he just blocked out the hatred comments only to focus on what he knows about our family so I think that if what happened today never happens again he should be fine."

"Good, you're right children are very resilient, they don't over analyze things like adults. He knows how much you love him and that what his kid said was wrong, he took it more as a lie than a hateful comment, which is good I suppose. "

"Exactly and we asked Mr Colins to organize a meeting with that kid's parents to see if he heard that word home or somewhere else, hoping that they're going to re educate their child."

"Yes, Principal Colins told me. Actually I came to let you know that as a member of the school board I called an emergency meeting for tomorrow night and we would love you to come so we can all together find a way to make sure this never happen again, because as you know you're not the only same sex couple to have a child in our school." Clarice had another child enrolled in that school and had been a member of the board for a couple of years and as a bi racial family her and her husband had always made fight against any kind of discrimination a priority and she was determined to set the record straight on this incident and to make it clear that the school would not allow that kind of incident to happen again.

"Yes, that's a very good idea. You know Maura and I never hide our relationship at work or when we're out in public. Obviously we're not all over each other but if we want to hold hands and kiss we just do it and up until now we never had to face any disrespectful comments. Actually my team and the department had been really supportive of our marriage but we always knew that at some point we were gonna have to step up." Jane replied nervously looking at Maura hoping that she would be able to speak up in front of the board, that her legendary confidence wouldn't abandon her.

"Then it's a date, we'll be expecting you tomorrow after school." Clarice smiled as she saw Louis and Emily coming towards them.

"Hi, Mrs Jones. Thank you for bringing Emily. I missed her very much this afternoon." Louis said walking towards Clarice to give her a warm hug.

"You're welcome and I want you to know that my husband, Emily and I will always be here for you and your mommies if you need anything, alright?" Clarice replied blowing a tender kiss on his cheek.

"I know thank you. Mommy, is it okay if Emily and her mommy stay for tonight, please mommy?" Louis pouted knowing that Maura was rarely able to refuse him anything, especially when it came to spending time with his best friend.

"Well if Mrs Jones doesn't mind eating Mac and Cheese we would love to thane them for dinner."

"I would love that, Tom is on call tonight so I was planning on having Mac and Cheese anyway."

"Thank you Mrs Isles! Come on Louis it's time to feed Bass, he must be hungry!" Emily said grabbing Louis' hand before dragging her towards the kitchen.

"Mark my words, those two are so getting married." Jane joked watching the two love birds walk away.

"Why would you say that, they're only only four?" Maura asked terror in her eyes at the idea of her little boy getting married and leaving her.

"I know but look at them, they can't get their hands off each other, Louis follows her around and does everything she asks her too even if he doesn't want to without ever complaining, because to quote he " _loves_ _her_ _very_ _much_ _and_ _she's_ _the_ _prettiest_ _girl_ _in_ _school_." Doesn't it remind you of someone?" Jane smiled battling her eyelashes.

"No, it doesn't." Maura replied shaking her head.

"Well for what it's worth my husband and I lived right next to each other and we spent our all life in the same classes. He's my first and only love so I agree with Jane, I can see them getting married. I would love to have a son in law as supportive and caring as Louis." Clarice replied marveling at the two children feeding Bass his favorite lettuce.

"And we would love to have a daughter in law as great as Emily, but let's not get ahead of herself, especially since I'm pregnant, I don't need to picture my baby getting married."

"Right, I didn't see you since you called me to tell me the good news, all I know is that Louis is convinced you're having twins?"

"Yes, he can't make up his mind about having a brother or a sister so he decided that we were having twins. Let's hope he won't be disappointed if it turns out we're only having one baby."

"I'm sure he's going to be just fine." Clarice nodded.

So that evening Jane, Maura, Louis, Emily and her mother share a dinner composed of mac and cheese and vanilla ice cream talking about the baby which was obviously Louis' new favorite topic. Later that night Louis went to bed completely relaxed thanks to his friend Emily eager to go back to school the next day to see his class mate who were also worried about him.

The next day around 4 pm right Jane, Maura and Louis found themselves in front of a conference room a few feet away from the head master's office.

Tapping her fingers on the side of her chair, Louis on her lap playing with his favorite truck Jane was nervous. She knew that the school board was everything but homophobic and that all of the parents present were all strongly opposed to nay kind of discrimination but she new that not all the parents were as opened as they were. She knew that words travelled fast and that all the children had probably told their parents about what happened and she knew it was only a matter of time before they'd have to face the consequences of that event and was actually grateful that Clarice reacted that fast. She knew that in that kind of situation a quick meeting was essential so every one could come to a common understanding on how to handle the possible fall outs.

"So Louis, you're going to stay here for a little while if that's okay? It shouldn't be long." Jane said tightening her arms around her.

"But mama, I wanna go with you!" Louis replied bouncing off his chair.

"Oh sweetheart, we love how much you want to help us but we're going to talk about adult things and you're probably not going to understand everything." Jane replied knowing that despite being brilliant and very mature what was about to be discussed in that room was way out of his understanding.

"I know mommy that I'm too young to understand everything and it's okay because I know you're going to do the right thing but I want to speak to the parents, please mama let me. I pushed him so I want to talk to them, please mama, please." Louis begged determined to apologize for his behavior.

"Well I suppose the board would be happy to hear your version of what happened and to hear you say it won't happen again." Maura replied looking at Jane.

"Thank you mommy!"

"Maura, Jane. We're ready for you." Clarice suddenly said opening the door.

"Okay." Both Jane and Maura nodded grabbing Louis' hands.

Stepping into the conference room Louis was immediately very impressed by all those growing up with their note pads and serious glasses but knew that he needed to be courageous and to tell them how he felt about what happened.

"Maura, Jane, Louis we're very glad to see tonight. How are you feeling today Louis?" A man in his forties wearing a pair of dark glasses and a very fancy suit asked.

"I'm okay. My head hurts a little but mommy says I'm going to be okay. Is it okay if I say something?" Louis asked taking a shy step towards the assembly.

"We tried to dissuade him to join us but he knows what he did was wrong and wanted to apologize, right Louis?" Jane asked looking down at her son, extremely proud that he would step up and talk to all those strangers.

"Yes mama. I know that pushing or hitting someone is bad, that you should only use your words but this other boy said lies and I don't like when people lie about my mommy." Louis replied looking at one od the board member straight in the eyes.

"Can you tell us what lies he said about your mommy?" The man replied impressed by his confidence.

"You know my mommy is having a baby very very soon and I was telling Emily that I was going to be a big brother but he said that it was not true because mommy was not my real mommy and it's a lie. My mommies explained to me that he said that because he knew she didn't carry me in her tummy and that's why he thinks she's not my real mommy and it hurt me because it's not true. You know my mommy was a Doctor, she worked with my mama and uncle Vince, Frankie and my uncle Barry and she was helping them catch bad people but when I was a baby she decided that she didn't want to be a Doctor anymore because she wanted to be my mommy. She is the bestest mommy in the whole word. Before I was big enough to go to school she brought me to the park every day after lunch and we played with other kids, she takes me to the museum with grand ma so I can see the dinosaurs you know and she cooks me dinner every day and she is always here when I take my bath so I can tell her about my day at school and when I'm sick she always makes me chicken soup or mac and cheese. I love her very much and she loves me and it's not fair that someone says that she's not my mommy because she didn't carry me in her belly." His little fists clenched Louis was talking with his heart and was determined to let people know what kind of mother Maura was.

Standing a few feet back holding Jane's hand Maura was barely able to contain her emotions. A few years back she had found herself scared not to be able to bound with him because they were not blood related and because she always thought that her social awkwardness would not be compatible with raising a child. But standing there listening to her son professing his undying love for her Maura knew she was wrong and that she had made the right decision by resigning from her position as Chief ME.

"Well Louis, I think I can speak for every body here when I say that you're a very brave and smart little boy. Obviously what you did was wrong and we're hoping that from now on if someone bothers you you will go talk to an adult. On the other hand, you're right. What that child said was not fair. Anyone who knows you and your mommy knows how close you are and there is no doubt for us that she's your mommy and we're going to make sure that no other kid ever hurts you again by telling lies." The man said admiring Louis' ability to step up for his mom knowing that if a four year old could gather enough courage to do so the least the board could do was to support him.

"Thank you mister. Mommy, can I go play now?" Louis asked turning around to Maura.

"Yes sweetheart. It shouldn't take long." Maura replied wipping a tear of her face.

"Thank you. I love you mommy and you too." Louis replied giving Maura a warm hug before patting her belly as he rushed towards the door.

"Well your son is certainly very eloquent." Mr Colins, the head master said shaking his head.

"Yes, he probably got that from my wife. Well thank you for receiving us tonight. Don't worry unlike my wife and son, I'm a woman of few words. What happened yesterday was an infortunate incident but I'm convinced that this child was only repeated what he heard at home so I think blaming the parents for his actions would be the most logical way to handle this. On the other hand, as a police officer I know that attacking people is not the best solution, that hatred is a powerful feeling that in many cases transmitted from generation to generation and amplified by what kids hear on tv on on the streets. I truly believe that hatred is most cases is the result of ignorance and of lack of education and that it's important to educate our children so they understand from a very young that there is nothing wrong with being gay or with having two mommies or two daddies. We might not be able to change parents' opinion on homosexuality or on different religions but if we manage to make their children understand that it's okay to be different they will educate their own children to live with the same open mind and tolerance. You know I remember that thirty years ago people thought that you could catch AIDS by shaking infected people's hands and it took a lot of information campaigns ,documentaries to debunk those misconceptions. I think that educating children is the key to eradicate all kinds of discrimination but I also believe that this school must stay firm on its policy against discrimination." Jane said feeling her confidence boosted by her son's courage.

"We all agree with you Jane and that's why we decided to send a memo to all our parents informing them on what happened yesterday and also reaffirming our position regarding discrimination against minorities. Additionally if your wife and you and other same couple parents would agree we would like to organize a non mandatory meeting with the students and their parents where you can not justify your life style but rather explain and try to educate parents who might be reluctant to enroll their children in this school especially after this incident."

"That is a fantastic idea, educating the parents is important too, we might not change the minds of the homophobic ones but we might help those who are just questioning them selves to understand us better. Maura what do you think?" Jane replied turning towards her wife.

"I think it's a terrific idea and I wanted to thank all of you for your support. You know as Louis said we're a normal family. I wake him up in the morning, have breakfast with him, take him to school and after school we go to his favorite places and I don't need to have carried him to feel like I'm his mother. I remember crying when Jane had her first ultrasound and almost hyperventilating when we found out we were expecting a boy. I also remember being over excited when Jane's water broke right in the middle of our marriage and feeling the most intense pride when I cut the umbilical cord. See I'm pregnant and in a few years our child is probably going to be enrolled in this same school and I sincerely hope that people won't tease him or her and Louis is they call each other brother and sister despite not being blood related. I love my son, I love my wife and we're a normal family and I would do anything to protect them against hatred and ignorance and what you're offering us seems to be a first step towards making sure this school is a safe place for all our children." Maura replied reaching out for Jane's hand.

For the next half hour Jane, Maura and the board agreed on the content of the memo that was going to be send to every single parent and were hoping that more gay parents would agree to step up as well to talk to the parents who after this incident might be reluctant to keep their child in that school especially since Louis was not going to get punished for pushing this child.

**So guys, what do you think? I know that this and last chapter were heavy but it's a subject that's important to me and that deserved being acknoledged. I don't know if I will write about the meeting the school is going to organize with other parents to try to educate them on same sex marriage or if I'm just gonna mention it. It will depend on your reaction to this chapter. I know all of you are eagerly waiting to see Maura pregnant and all crazy and I don't want to bore you to death with heavy chapters like that. My point about hatred has been made and I'm satisfied.**

**Please tell me what you think!**

**PS : I hope the analogy with AIDS and the hatred people affected suffered from for a long time because of ignorance wasn't too shocking...**


	48. Mommies time

**Chapter 48 :**

**Mommies time.**

About two weeks later Maura was entering her fifth week of pregnancy. After meeting with the members of the school board an official meeting was organized with other parents who were worried that this incident might happen again with Louis or another kid. Eager to keep hatred away from their school a lot of parents included gay and lesbians couple came to talk about what had happened and tried to find solutions to keep it from happening again.

To Maura and Jane's big surprise most of the parents were very opened about them being a same sex couple and seemed to blame the parents of the other kid for teaching him hatred more than they blamed Louis for standing up for them.

After a couple of hours with the other parents Jane and Maura learned that the other kid was a real bully, that he already had trouble with several kids after bullying them for being overweight or just for being smaller than him. Surprisingly the bully's parents agreed to come to the meeting and after seeing how unpopular their child was finally realized that they had missed something in his education and promised to set him straight to avoid any similar situation in the future.

The next day Louis was able to go back to school and was actually treated like a hero by his classmates for standing up to that older kid who was terrorizing the school.

Today was finally friday. Waking up with the sun in her eyes, her arms and snaked snaked around her wife Jane's entire body was hurting. Between the incident at Louis' school, meeting the board and the others parents on top on dealing with a high profile murder case Jane was exhausted and was grateful that her mother offered to take Louis for the week end so she could have some well deserved rest and spend quality time with Maura.

Carefully reaching out to her night stand to grab her watch trying not to wake Maura up Jane could hear Louis roaming in the kitchen.

"7am and he's already up and running, that kid is not my son." Jane groaned rolling on her back as she attached her watch to her wrist.

"Yes he is but us Isles like to wake up early, I thought you were used to it." Maura smiled slightly opening her eyes.

"No I'm not and I never will but I'm glad he's a morning person like you. How did you sleep?" Jane asked gently brushing her wife's mouth with her lips.

"Well, you?"Snuggling against Jane resting her head on her chest Maura knew she was as tired as she was and that this week end was a blessing.

"Not bad but I'm tired. God I can't wait to come home tonight and lay down without having to listen to our little monster telling me about his day for two hours. I love him to death but I really, really need some quiet time with you."

"I understand. I have to admit that he's a very active child, from the minute he wakes up until the moment he falls asleep nothing seems to be able to stop him from talking. I wonder where he got that from."

"Yeah, me too. Anyway, I should get up and take him to school. Just stay in bed. I will leave your breakfast on the counter." Jane replied kissing Maura's forehead.

"Thank you. I will drop him at your mother's after school. Try not to fall asleep at your desk."Maura replied kissing her wife's chin.

"Who?Me?Never!Now come on, close your eyes. I love you."Bouncing out of bed pulling up the overs, making sure Maura was comfortable Jane took a quick look at her watch : 10hours. In ten long hours she would be home and was gonna have Maura for herself for two entire days and she could not wait.

"Love you too."Maura maundered burying her head in Jane's pillow breathing her perfume.

Walking towards the door closing the door behind her Jane, for a quick moment envied Maura for being able to stay home all day but then remembered how bored she was when she first took her maternity leave before Louis was born. Luckily for Maura she had Louis to take care of and she was still physically capable of doing all the things she loved such as yoga, gardening, cooking, or even shopping so Jane wasn't worried too much but knew that the last trimester would be the hardest part of the pregnancy, the most physically enduring for Maura and emotionally enduring for her. She knew that Maura would not feel in control of her emotions or her body, that she would probably have trouble roaming around and considering how self conscious she was regarding physical appearance that the weight gain might be difficult for her to accept. Luckily for both of them Jane had been through all those radical changes before and knew she would be able to help Maura go through them until the birth of their child.

"Good morning mama!" Louis yelled running towards Jane.

"Wow, not so loud please. I suppose you slept well." Picking him up Jane was almost knocked down by the amount of energy he was expressing so early in the morning.

"Sorry mama. Yes I slept well, but I was a bit cold. Can I have another blanket when I come back from Grand Ma please?"

"Yes you may. It's october already and we should even turn the heat up a bit. Here we go. Eat your breakfast while I go get dressed alright?" Jane said settling him in his chair.

"Okay mommy but please don't wear a white shirt today." Louis replied licking his lips in anticipation as he laid his eyes on his favorite box of cereal Maura had voluntarily left of the table knowing that it would save them some time if breakfast was ready when they woke up.

"Why?"

"The lady on tv said that it's going to rain today." Louis replied pouring himself some milk.

"Oh right, right. Well eat your cereal I'll be back soon." Jane replied thinking that it was time for her to make him watch more sports because picturing him watching the weather or the shopping channel with Maura was a thought she could barely bare.

15 minutes later despite taking a long cold shower Jane found herself drinking her first cup of coffee of the day trying to hide how exhausted she was. She had bags under her eyes and could barely keep a straight conversation with Louis.

"Mama, you're not listening!" Louis hissed pulling her Mama's sleeve trying to get her attention.

"I'm sorry. What were you saying?" Jane replied, Louis' voice bringing her right back to reality.

"I was saying that grand ma promised to teach me how to make her yummy gnocchi's."It was barely half past seven and Louis was over excited to start his day because he knew that he was going to spend the entire week end with his grand Ma Angela.

"Right, well it's an honor you know because she doesn't usually share her recipes with men. She tried to teach me how to make them but as you know I'm not too much of a cook but your mommy loves it so your grand ma taught her all her best recipes so she can cook them for us."Thinking about it Jane knew that Maura was the daughter Angela never had. The kind of daughter she could go shopping, cook or even talk pregnancy with and far from being jealous she was happy to see how close they grew over the past few years.

She always knew that Angela was a bit disappointed that Jane turned out to be so boyish and was glad that she had found in Maura the perfect daughter to pass all her recipes and life secrets to.

"She says mommy's cooking is almost as good as hers. I like cooking mama, because the house and my clothes smell so good." Louis replied taking a sip at his orange juice.

"I know and your mommy loves when you help her out." The truth was Jane was eager to teach him things she was passionate about such as baseball, riding a motorcycle or even self defense but knew that all those activities she enjoyed so much weren't appropriate for a child of his age and was eagerly waiting for him to get older while watching Maura and their mothers teaching to cook.

"You know I love being with grand ma but can we go camping next week?Please mama say yes. I promise I'll be good all week." Louis pouted his bottom lip slightly trembling .

"Yes, sure I will see if your uncles are available." Jane replied.

"No mama, just you and me." The truth was that Louis was well aware that once the baby would be here his mommies would have less time for him and he was determined to enjoy both of them as much as possible. Obviously Maura being a stay home mom he had the joy of spending all his time after school with her but Jane despite being hime early during the week was always exhausted and unable to participate in anything too physical so he was cherishing their week ends together and most specifically their camping trip. Those camping trips with his uncles Barry, Tommy and Frankie and sometimes Vince were the perfect opportunity for him to do "guys things" like sleeping in a tent, learning to build a fire or how to fish.

"Oh, right. Okay then, I will ask your mom first in case she already had plans, but it shouldn't be a problem." Smiling at her son's offer Jane remembered the conversation she had with Maura a few weeks ago and was determined to spend more time with Louis not only to make it clear to him that they would not neglect him to his sibling's benefit but also to tighten their bond.

"Thank you mama. It's going be fun but you know I can with you and mommy this week end. I can see you're tired."Seeing the bags under his mama's eyes and seeing how she walked holding her back Louis knew she was tired and felt partially responsible after causing so much trouble at school.

"That's very sweet of you but your mommy and I should be fine. All we need is some rest and besides it would break your grand ma's heart if you cancelled." The truth was that despite loving her son more than life itself Jane needed time with her wife, real undisturbed quality time hoping she would be able to change her mind regarding her desire to remain abstinent for another 3 weeks.

"Oh…mommies time." Louis smiled clapping his hands.

"Yes mommies time. Now come on go brush your teeth and I'll drop you off at school alright?"Shocked at Louis' comment Jane was not willing to talk about it with him. After spending the entire week telling him about homophobia and hatred she wasn't willing to bring another adult topic up. All she wanted was for him to go to school and to spend the week end with his beloved grand mother and to enjoy himself free of any concerns above his age and maturity.

An hour later after dropping Louis at school Jane found herself at her desk trying to finish the report on their last case.

"Is everything okay? No offense but you look like hell today." Sitting behind the opposite desk Detective Frost, Jane's partner of almost 7 years now was as usual paying attention to her behavior and could see that something was troubling her.

"Yeah, but between what happened at the school and this high profile case It has been a very very long week but thank God Ma is taking Louis this week end so Maura and I can have some proper rest you know."

"That's good, you both deserve it. Speaking of Louis how is he?"Being African-American himself Frost knew how it felt to be treated the way Louis had been and as the caring uncle that he was wanted to arrest the little brat for spiting such hatred at his nephew's face.

"You know how kids are very resilient. He was more shaken up by that kid telling him Maura was not his mother than he was because he called us dykes. He didn't want Maura to get hurt by what that kid was saying, once he saw that Maura wasn't bothered by it he felt much better."

"Well that's good then, he doesn't need to be bothered by homophobia that young, right?"

"No he doesn't. Anyway, Ma has him this week end and I'm sure she has plans to cheer him up, you know how she is."

"Do you have any plans in particular?"

"Not really, ya know just sleeping, eating, watching tv, massaging Maura's feet. I just wanna chill out so please do not disturb me under any circumstances, I don't care if the Mayor gets murdered."

"Alright I won't. You plans sounds good but no…action?"After seven years of being Jane's partner and friends Frost had learned the right to bring up intimate subject and knew that Jane was comfortable talking to him about her sex life.

"No, not for another three weeks I'm afraid."Jane replied rolling her eyes.

"Let me guess : Maura is afraid that having sex might cause her to miscarry so she insists on being abstinent until you can locate a heart beat?"

"Yes, how did you figure?"

"Michelle put me through the same thing. We were trying really hard to get pregnant so she was obviously checking her cycle and ovulation dates very closely. We would have sex during every ovulation but afterwards she would deny kind of sexual activity and from the moment she found out she was pregnant she refused to have sex with me because according to her orgasms cause uterine contractions that can lead to miscarriage."About 6 months after Louis was born Frost found himself shot in the line of duties. Luckily for him it was a clean shot of a small caliber through his shoulder but Maura had insisted that he stayed in observation for a 48hours as a precaution. Unwilling to contradict his partner's wife Detective Frost agreed to stay at the hospital where met a very charming ER attending who became his wife a year later and they were now proud parents of a 18 months old son.

"Exactly what Maura told me! I understand Michelle's concerns though since I know she miscarried three times before she met you."

"Yes she did and actually the last time she miscarried was a few weeks before her husband was deployed for his last tour in Iraq and he was killed a month later. Obviously I did everything I could to reassure her even if it meant not having sex for months." The truth was that becoming a mother has always been his wife's dream and she had lost three babies before having their son and as painful as it had been for him, he did everything he could to support her and protect their baby.

"I know and trust me if Maura's pregnancy was considered as risky as Michelle's I would not complain but she's in perfect health. She never miscarried before, she's not experiencing any bleeding. Actually her fertility specialist told her she had the reproductive system of a 30 year old woman, that her uterus was strong but she's still convinced because she's almost 40 that she needs to take extreme precautions. How can someone as rational as Maura can be convinced that sex might cause her to miscarry when all studies and medical articles we read indicate that her pregnancy can not be classified as risky?"

"She's pregnant Jane. She does not think with her brain but with her womb. Do you remember when you were pregnant how difficult you were to handle? My advice to you is to shut your mouth and take everything that's going to be sent at you for the next 9 months. She deserves it."The truth was Frost remember how grumpy Jane was, he remembered the mood swings, her inability of receiving orders from Cavanaugh, her enhanced appetite and knew that Maura had been very brave to support her without ever flinching.

"I know. She deserves me to be as supporting and patient as she was and besides since when am I able to refuse her anything?"

"I think you never were. Trust me I know what it's like to be married to someone who has this way of thinking that is so unusual that you can barely keep up so my advice to you is to say yes to what ever she wants. She's carrying the child, she has all the power and trust me she knows it and won't be afraid to use it, so you might as well give in right now."Frost knew exactly what he was thinking about. Just like Jane he had married a brilliant Doctor with a very focused mind. A woman who planned everything, who always weights the pros and cons carefully before making a decision, a woman who sometimes spoke in a language he didn't understand but just like Jane those were all the reasons he fell in love with her.

"I know, it's only another three weeks until the first ultrasound. I think I can manage. Alright now, back to work. I need to finish this report and then I have this meeting with Cavanaugh and the Chief."

Around 7pm Jane drove home relieved that this week was finally over. Her hand on the door she took a minute to take a deep breath praying that dinner was ready and that Maura had not planned to use their free time to talk about the baby or to re arrange the house.

Stepping into their house Jane was immediately stoke by the obscurity : all the lights seemed to be off and there was no traces of Maura or even Joe Friday. Immediately reaching for her gun Jane started to walk towards their bedroom when she noticed a trail of candles on the floor leading to the bathroom.

Shoving her gun in its holster sighing in relief Jane realized that Maura had planned this and quickly took her gun, shoes and jacket off and walked towards the bathroom.

Opening the door very slowly Jane was immediately overwhelmed by an intense feeling of desire and could already feel the heat building up in her panties.

There she was : comfortably settled in the bath tub, bubble covering her entire body, candles surrounding her.

"What are you waiting for?Take your clothes off and join me now!"Maura instructed keeping her eyes clothes as she immediately recognized Jane's perfume.

**I know a cliffhanger...Bad, bad,bad writer!**

**So guys I didn't want to drag the hatred plot any longer and decided to only mention the meeting with the rest of the parents.**

**I hope this chapter wasn't too boring. I think it's natural for Jane to miss sex and I figured that she could use Frost advice. They're close friends I never write them together you know. **

**Next chapter might surprise you. You know sex is never just about sex for me so I need to find something original :)**

**I'm sure I will :) After focusing a lot on Louis it's time for some Jane/Maura fluff!**

**Also I'm thinking about writing a chapter about Jane and Louis' camping trip, that should be fun right?**


	49. bath tub fun

**chapter 49:**

**Bathtub fun :**

"What are you waiting for?Take your clothes off and join me now!"Maura instructed keeping her eyes clothes as she immediately recognized Jane's perfume.

"Sure, just give me a sec."Pulling her shirt of her pants unbuttoning it as fast as she could before throwing it in the laundry basket next to the door Jane could not believe the spectacle presented in front of her. Maura was naked below all those bubbles and was waiting for her to join her. Quickly taking the rest of her clothes off Jane could not take her eyes away of Maura's breasts that where barely visible because of the bubbles. Not being able to see her wife's body turned her on even more. Everything about this picture was perfect : The way the candles were placed around them, their smell, Maura's hair attached in a pony tail, the fact that she had her eyes closed...Everything had been arrange for a memorable evening.

Gently sliding in the tub instinctively positioning herself between Maura's legs Jane started to think that she might end up getting what she had been dying for over 5 weeks without asking.

"How was your day?" Maura asked opening her eyes as she kissed Jane's tensed shoulder.

"I spent the entire morning working on my report and the afternoon in a debriefing with Cavanaugh and the chief and you know I much I love that."Slightly laying back against Maura Jane could feel her wife's nipples tickling her back and tried her best to control her desires. Obviously Maura wanted to be in charge tonight and she did not want to do anything to comprise her plans.

"I know you prefer to be in the streets chasing criminal but being a Sergent Detective allows you to be at home at reasonable hours and to actually see our son growing up."Maura replied as she gently started to massage Jane's shoulders, pressing her thumbs on her wet skin.

"I know, I know. It's not that bad. I can follow the guys on the fields when I want and put the paper work aside and I get to give them orders and that is something I definitely enjoy."Slightly moaning as she felt Maura's confident fingers massaging her wounded shoulders Jane slowly started to relax. This was the beginning of a week end they had been waiting for several weeks and she wasn't willing to talk about work anymore.

"You were already giving them orders even when you were a Detective." Maura smirked kissing the back of her neck.

Laying in their large bathtub surrounded by performed candles knowing that Louis was not going to disturb them Jane and Maura were in heaven and grateful to have supportive parents that were always happy to take the little monster when ever they needed some privacy.

Obviously both women knew that by becoming parents the days when they would stay at the station late or go to the dirty robber, drink and have fun with their friends without looking were probably over. They knew that becoming parents meant having new responsibilities and strangely it didn't seem to bother them. Neither of them was too much of a social bird and what they truly enjoyed was to be home and enjoy a nice and romantic dinner and a good movie. Unfortunately even a quiet and private dinner was something that was rarely possible when you have a four year old who required constant attention.

The first two years Maura actually refused to let either Angela or her parents take Louis overnight except when they left town to celebrate their wedding anniversary at the cabin because she knew that celebrating was important for both Jane and herself.

Luckily for Jane Maura slowly started to agree to be away from Louis one night here and there until she felt confident enough to leave him for an entire week end.

Now that Louis was getting older and more demanding Maura was glad to have both Angela and her parents or even Louis' uncles to take over when they needed some quality time together.

"Anyway, you know what Louis asked me this morning?"

"He wants you to take him camping next week end, just the two of you. I know he told me when I picked him us at school, actually he almost begged me."

"I hope you said yes. I know it's october already but I promise that he won't get sick and that I will take good care of him. I think he needs some time with me before we welcome his sibling you know."

"I know. He can spend as much time as he wants with me because I stay at home but since you're working your moments together are limited so I think it's a great idea. As long as you take a lot of pictures and videos I see no objection to that week end." The truth was that Maura knew how important this little gate away was for Jane. She didn't' forget the conversation they had a few weeks back and knew Jane was still doubting her abilities as a mother. She knew that it was important that Louis and Jane spent as much time as possible together so she would feel more confident and therefore less anxious about welcoming a new baby.

"Good, it's gonna be the first time we go camping without the guys but I'm sure I will be alright. We'll go to the lake and fish and I'll teach him how to build a fire. It's gonna be fun." The truth was that as much as she loved having devoting partners and brothers who treated Louis like a little prince Jane was eager to spend time alone with her son.

"I'm sure it's going to be great but right now let's not talk about work or our son." Maura whispered biting Jane's ear lobe as she gently slid her right hand between her legs and started to caress her left breast with her other hand.

"Oh wait, I thought you wanted to stay abstinent until your first ultrasound."Feeling Maura's finger tips tickling her nipple and her hand traveling towards her folds Jane's heart started to race, hammering her chest.

"Yes but I realized that it's not because I decided to remain abstinent for our baby's sake that you had to as well."Maura replied as she gently started to stroke Jane's clit with her middle finger while kissing her back dragging her tongue on her skin.

"Yes but we're in this together, we're a team and it's fair…oh fuck."Feeling the heat building up between her legs as Maura started to stroke her clit Jane tried to fight her arousal, for sex was about receiving but most importantly giving back and not about getting of. Unfortunately for Jane's moral values Maura's fingers were stronger and she could not resist them.

"What is not fair is forcing you to remain abstinent. I'm your wife and I'm here to please you so just relax." Maura replied pulling Jane closer to her.

Over the past five weeks Jane had been nothing but patient and understanding and Maura knew that it was not fair of her to ask her to stay abstinent. Jane had needs and as her wife she felt compelled to satisfy them even if she wasn't able to let her reciprocate. The only view of Jane climaxing was enough to satisfy her anyway.

So to keep Jane from escaping Maura snaked her legs around her and with no warning thrusted two fingers inside Jane's folds.

"Fuck!"Arching her back as she felt Maura's long and thin fingers penetrating her Jane suddenly stopped breathing. She was dripping wet and Maura's fingers where thrusting in and out of her so smoothly that Jane started to wonder how long she would be able to hold it before climaxing.

"You're so wet for me baby.I want you to scream my name."Feeling the warmth streaming down her hand as she continued to thrust back and forth Maura also started to feel her own arousal rising but knew she would not be able to seek release, but it didn't matter, what mattered was that after five weeks Jane was finally able to.

"Always."Closing her legs on Jane's hand bucking her hips Jane was trying to increase her pleasure by rubbing her clitoris against the plan of Maura's hand.

Encouraged by Jane's burning desire Maura thrusted a third finger inside of her wife and this time start to plunge the three fingers deeper and faster while pressing the palm of her hand against her clit.

Thrusting back and forth kissing Jane's back feeling the hot water caressing her nipples Maura was enjoying herself as well but still kept in mind that this moment wasn't about her.

So she continued to thrust inside Jane as deep and as hard as she could until she finally felt Jane's inner muscle tightening around her fingers.

"Oh fuckkkkk!"Jane yelled arching her back as she felt an intense electricity wave running through her body from toe to head.

"Come for me baby, harder." Maura moaned pressing against Jane's swollen clit.

"Ohhhh fuck fuck fuck."Feeling her inner muscles tightening and relaxing several times around Maura's fingers Jane could barely breath.

Five minutes. It had taken five minutes to Maura to send her to heaven, or considering how hot she was right now, to hell.

Feeling Jane breathing heavily as her inner muscles slowly started to relax Maura continued to kiss Jane's back paying particular attention to the scar on her right shoulder, result of a shooting that occurred years before they met.

"That was fast Sergeant Detective."Maura chuckled as she gently pulled her fingers out before wrapping her arms around her, resting her head on her shoulder.

"Yeah but damn it was good though. Are you sure you don't want me to reciprocate?"Jane breathed out leaning back against her as she slowly started to calm down.

"Don't worry about me. I can wait. What's another three weeks in a lifetime?"Kissing Jane's shoulder blade Maura was far from being frustrated. She had accomplished her mission : she had rewarded Jane for her patience and had received great visual satisfaction doing it.

"You're right."Jane sighed closing her eyes.

So Jane and Maura stayed in the tub until the water was cold before sliding in their robes and settling in their bed surrounded once again by two dozens perfumed candles.

For the first time since they decided to have another child they had the opportunity to spend three entire days together with the freedom to walk around their house naked or eat in bed or even watch adult movie but strangely both women knew they weren't going to do any of those things.

What they really needed and wanted was to just lay in bed together under their heavy duvet, their bodies tangled together feeling like they were in a cocoon protected from exterior threats or disturbances. All they needed and wanted was to enjoy that intimacy they once shared on daily basis but that was now very rare pleasure.

Obviously neither of them could ever regret having Louis but today they were happy to be able to be together and share a simple moment like this one knowing that their son was having fun with his grand ma and that he would not barge in.

**Alright guys. I know that it wasn't as good as you expected but considering they were in the bath tub and that Jane couldn't reciprocate the possibilities were limit(for my writing abilities and imagination anyway).**

**I dunno if I'm gonna continue to write about their week end together or if next chapter will be about the camping trip…**

**Wait and see…**

**As always reviews are more than welcome but I don't expect much today. This chapter was of average quality if not poor. Hopefully some Louis/Jane fluff will help me make it up to you guys!**


	50. Camping trip

**Chapter 50 :**

**Camping trip : **

The following week passed faster than anyone would have expected it.

Jane and her team had caught a double homicide where the victims were burned so badly that they couldn't be identified. No DNA or finger prints were retrievable and their heads were missing. So Jane spent the entire week with Frost trying to not only identify the bodies but also find the person responsible.

Unfortunately for Louis and Maura knew that it was that kind of case that obsessed Jane to the point where she would stay at the station late, would miss dinner and would barely make it home in time to put Louis to bed.

Luckily for him Louis was so excited by their camping trip that he was barely mad at his mama for working so much.

Maura on the other hand knew Jane's MO too well and knew that there was a slight chance that she was going to cancel their week end to focus on the investigation and knew it would break her son's heart.

Maura also had a very busy week. Her mother was organizing an art exhibition and needed her and her impeccable taste to help her choose the best pieces to expose. Despite being worried about Jane and Louis' week end Maura was more than happy to help her mother, it gave her the opportunity to spend some quality time with her without having to watch her language because of Louis.

So that friday night after giving Louis his bath Maura started to work on dinner hoping Jane would not be too late.

Louis was in his bedroom packing his things and his excitement was overwhelming and Maura could not imagine having to comfort him in case Jane had to cancel.

"Mommy, mommy look how handsome I am."Louis yelled storming in the kitchen wearing his entire fishing gear on him.

"Oh, look at you. You look like your grand pa Frank."Kneeling in front of her little boy wearing his grand father favorite hat and bag pack Maura's heart melted.

"Thank you. This is his lucky hat and bag pack with all sorts of things inside but I can't tell you because you're a girl and this is the coat, pants and shoes he got me for my birthday. Do you know when mommy is coming home? I packed my things but we need to pack the poles and the baits and also the tent, the food and everything else. I made a list in my head so I don't forget."Barely taking a second to breath Louis was over excited. He had been talking about this fishing trip with his mama all week and could not wait to leave the next morning.

"Okay, calm down and breath. You're going to tell me everything you think you're going to need to pack and I will write everything down give the list to your mother so she can pack everything later tonight so the two of you can leave early tomorrow, how does that sound?" Maura replied picking him up before settling him on a chair with a piece of paper.

"Mmm, okay mommy."Louis replied clapping his hands.

For the next half hour Maura listened to Louis list all the things Jane would need to pack and was impressed by how organized he was and how he thought of everything from the fishing equipment to the tent, to the food.

Around half past six Jane was finally home and was immediately welcomed by Joe Friday and Louis.

"Mama, mama, you're finally home….Look what me and mommy did!"Hearing Jane opening the door Louis immediately grabbed the piece of paper of the table, bounced of his chair and ran towards his mama.

"Hey buddy. Wow, that's a pretty impressive list."Picking her son up trying to keep a straight face but her back was killing her. Ever since the shooting a few years ago she had terrible back pain due to the severe nerve damage she had suffered from and spending hours walking around in circles trying to close a case didn't help.

"Yes. I made a list in my head and then I told mommy and she wrote it, because I don't know how to write."

"You made that huge list in your head?That must have made your mommy very proud. And look at how handsome you are. How about you go put your pjs on while I talk to your mommy okay?"Carefully dropping here on the ground Jane could see how excited she was and could not wait to leave for their favorite spot, hoping Maura could help her with her back pain.

"Okay mama. I will finish packing my bag too. I love you."Louis replied running towards his bedroom.

"He really made that list in his head?"Jane asked walking towards Maura.

"Yes he did and he packed everything your dad gave him for his birthday so please tell me you're not canceling because he's been talking about this trip all week."Maura replied snaking her arms around Jane's waist.

"Of course not, I actually gave Frost his week end. I think we both need to take a step back and to enjoy a quiet week end with our families. The only problem that I have is that my back is killing me."Jane replied slightly fidgeting as she felt Maura's arms tightening around her.

"I think I can help you with that. How about you go take a warm bath and slid in something more comfortable. I will massage your back and give you something for the pain after dinner alright?"

"Thank you but first I need to gather all that stuff. Geez, he's really your son, incapable of traveling light."

"Yes he inherited that from me, but look how organized he is. I didn't compartmentalize all that equipment Jane he did. He separated the food, the fishing equipment, the sleeping equipment in his head. That child is truly advanced for his age, just like his mommy."Maura replied slightly shrugging her shoulder proud that everything she had done over the past 4 years to stimulate Louis's memory and intelligence was working.

"And I'm happy that you have such a good influence of him but it's time I teach him some of the Rizzolis' favorite hobbies like fishing don't you think?"

"Yes it is, now please go take a bath. I know where everything is. I will pack everything myself ."Maura smiled kissing Jane's chin taking a deep breath at her natural sent.

"Okay, thanks."

Later that night after a relatively quiet dinner and a well deserved back massage Jane and Maura went to bed leaving Louis in his bedroom exhausted but eager to finally hit the road.

Around 10pm as Jane and Maura were deeply asleep Louis suddenly decided to pay them a visit in their bedroom.

"Mommy, mommy."Louis shyly said holding his teddy bear in his hand hoping Jane wouldn't be mad for waking them up.

"Why aren't you sleeping, are you okay?"Maura mumbled opening her arms inviting him to climb in bed with her.

"I'm sorry mommy but I'm going to miss you so much."Climbing in bed between Jane and Maura Louis despite being very mature for his age was unable to hide his sadness to have to leave his mommy alone for two entire days.

"Oh Louis sweetheart, I'm going to miss you too but you're going to go fishing with you mama and remember how you always say you want to spend time alone with her?"Stroking his hair with her fingers Maura looked at Jane for support hoping their plans weren't compromise by Louis sudden fear of being away from her.

"Hey son, look at me. Your mommy is right, we always say we should go camping without your uncles, just the two of us and it's going to be fun. We're going to build a huge fire and fish and eat things we're not really allowed to and we're taking Joe Friday to protect us." Jane replied realizing this was going to be the first time Louis and her would be alone. Obviously Maura often visited her parents when they were in New-York but she always took Louis with her so Louis never spent two entire days alone with her.

"I know and I know you're a police officer and that you will protect us, I'm not scared about us but about mommy and the babies. What if something happens and we're not here?"Louis replied his hand on his mommy belly.

"Oh baby...Nothing is going to happen to me or this baby. I promise and besides I will be staying with your grand parents so if at some point during the week end I don't feel well your grand mother will be here to help us, alright?"

"You're not staying in our house?"

"By myself?No. I know that if I stay here by myself I'm going to miss you so much that I will probably spend my week end crying. So I'm going to say at the mansion and your grand mother is going to keep me company."

"Oh, okay. I trust grand ma to take care of you and the babies. Thank you mommy."Burying his head in Maura's chest little Louis was relieved knowing that his mommy would not be alone and that he could trust Constance to help her and his sibling(s) in case anything happened.

"Good, now close your eyes and go back to sleep."Jane whispered snaking her arms around her creating a perfect nest around him.

The next morning Jane and Maura woke up around 7 am an empty space between them.

"Don't tell me he's already up."Jane replied sliding closer to Maura.

"He woke up half an hour ago and I think he's checking that nothing is missing. Come on, get up and get dress while I prepare breakfast."Maura replied kissing Jane's forehead.

"Mommy,mommy!When is mama coming, we need to go now!"Louis said rushing in Maura's arms already dressed up for the occasion.

"Your mama is coming but you know she's not a morning person so just give her some time okay?"Picking him up trying to wake herself up Maura was as tired as Jane but wanted to enjoy the last few minutes she had with her son before he left with Jane.

"Okay mommy. Can I have bunny pancakes please please please?"Louis pouted.

"Of course your can."

An hour later after a quick breakfast the car was finally loaded and Jane,Louis and Joe Friday were finally ready to hit the road.

Settling Louis in his car seat making sure he was safe and comfortable Maura was barely able to hide her sadness to have to leave him for an entire week end.

"Don't cry mommy, please. I'm a big boy now but if you cry I will cry too."Snaking his arms around his mommy Louis was also very sad but as a Rizzoli had his pride and tried to hide it as best as he could.

"I know. So remember the rules : you do exactly what your mama says, you stay away from the water and the fire and you stay where your mama can see you at all times?"Maura instructed wipping a tear off her eyes.

"Yes mommy I remember. We need to go now but I will call you when we arrive okay?I love you mommy."Louis replied kissing Maura's cheek.

"I love you too. Joe Friday I'm counting on you to protect them alright?"Maura replied patting the little dog's head knowing that Jane had brought her gun with her and that nothing would ever happen to their son as long as Jane was alive.

An hour and a half later the little family arrived at their favorite spot right next to the river. The place was surround by trees and was isolated enough to assure them calm and privacy.

Immediately bouncing off his car seat as they finally arrived Louis was like a little king. Ever since he was old enough to walk Jane, Tommy and Frankie and Frank senior would take him to that same spot as often as possible but it was the first time they were actually staying overnight.

This little piece of heaven was the place where neither Maura or Angela were not allowed to come, where the guys of the Rizzoli&friends clan would gather, fish and spend some quality time together away from the city and from women, well apart from Jane of course.

This trip was different from the other because not only because Jane and Louis were by themselves for the first time but most importantly because Maura agreed to let them stay overnight for the first time.

Over the past 4 years Maura had trouble leaving Louis overnight with anyone including her parents or Angela, not because she didn't trust her but because she was incapable of being away from Louis for long periods of time.

Luckily for Jane Maura knew that for the sake of their mariage she needed to learn to compromise and to allow their family members' to take care of him from time to time. At first it was only one night here and there but by the time their first weeding anniversary came Maura was finally comfortable enough to leave him with Angela an entire week so they could go away and celebrate.

This trip was different though because it was the first time Jane and Louis were spending two entire days together and Maura was delighted that her wife finally took a week end off to spend time with their son and tighten their bond. She knew that Louis would probably feel a bit left appart very soon and that some quality time with Jane would help feeling important and loved. She also knew that Louis probably had a million questions about the baby that he couldn't ask her and was hoping that this week end would allow Jane to reply to them all.

An hour after arriving at their favorite spot Jane helped by little Louis finally managed to put their tent together and were now working on building their fire.

"Mama, can I ask you something?"Louis said as the was gathering big rocks to build the fire.

"Sure you can ask me anything. Are you worried about becoming a big brother?"Helping Louis gather the rocks and wood for their fire Jane had a feeling that the reason why Louis was so excited about this trip was because he had a million questions about the baby.

"Oh no. Uncle Frankie told me what a big brother is supposed to do and I think I'm going to be a great big brother. I'm just worried about mommy. Uncle Tommy says that when girls are pregnant they're different you know."

"Oh sweetie,come here."Inviting Louis to sit on her lap Jane was finally able to read the doubt in her son's eyes. For the past two months Louis had been nothing but confident, loving and caring but he was just a little boy and even if he was confident on his abilities to be a good big brother he was worried about his mommy and her pregnancy.

"Is uncle Tommy right?Is mommy going to be different?"

"Well...I think every woman is different you know but yes she's going to change physically and emotionally."

"What does that mean mama?"Sitting on his mother's lap his eyes wide opened Louis was eager to find out how his mommy was going to change.

"Well first of all the baby is going to grow in her belly and he or she is going to need more space so her belly is going to get bigger and bigger until she gives birth." Jane replied carefully trying to pick the right words.

"Does it hurt?"

"Sometimes it does yes because you have an extra weight that you have to carry on your belly and sometimes it's hard to walk because your back hurts it's also hard to to get dressed or even to tie your shoes."

"Oh, I can tie mommy's shoes. Uncle Frankie told me how to do it on my birthday and I think I remember!" Louis replied clapping in his hand hoping he would be able to help his mommy.

"I'm sure she's going to be very happy. You know when you have such a big weight on your belly you can't bend over or carry heavy objects so you and I will have to help your mommy. The bigger the baby is gonna get the more tired she's going to be so I'm going to start picking you up at school and help with dinner and give you your bath. I'm also going to hire someone to help us do the laundry and the cleaning or anything else that needs to be done in our house because she needs to rest."

"Oh okay mama. I understand. I promise I will be quiet and gentle and that I will help you."

"Thank you but I think between me and your grand parents we should be alright. I know you want to help but I don't want you to worry more than you should. Your mommy has a lot of people to help her." Despite being impressed by her son's desire to help Jane didn't want to overwhelm him with responsabilities , he was only four and deserved a normal childhood away from adults' concerns.

"I know but mommy always takes care of me when I'm sick so I want to help her if she's hurting like you said."

"I understand and I know that staying in bed with you cuddling is something that always made her feel better when she's sad or sick, so I was thinking that what you could do is stay with her when she's napping, you know to talk to her and to the baby. I'm sure the baby is going to love hearing your voice."

"You think the babies can hear us?"

"Yes. Actually I remember that when you were in my tummy you would kick and move a lot and it hurt sometimes. So your mommy would lay down in bed, put her ear on my belly and talk to you and you would stop moving and kicking so much."

"Oh...that's awesome mama, I'm going to talk to the babies all the time now!"

"Well right now the baby is too little to hear you and you won't be able to feel it move for another few months but the good thing is that next week we're going to see the Doctor and we're going to hear the baby's heart beats for the first time."

"I know, mommy says that the Doctor is going to use a machine to see through her belly and that we're going to see the babies on a screen and maybe I can even have pictures." Almost a month after meeting with Dr Thorton Louis didn't forget what he promised him and had been questioning Maura about the ultrasound very often and was eager to see his sibling(s) and to hear the heart beats.

"That's right and we're going to see the Doctor every other week to make sure the baby is okay and in a few months using the same machine we will be able to tell you if you're having a little sister or brother."

"Yes mommy told me but I already know I'm having both so it won't be a surprise."Louis replied shrugging his shoulders.

"We'll see about that."Jane replied kissing his forehead.

After finally expressing his fears regarding his mommy's pregnancy Little Louis was relieved and finally able to enjoy his week end with Jane. So that afternoon mother and son built a gigantic fire, caught enough fish to eat for dinner while continuing talking about the baby(ies). Looking at her son sitting next to her having a bless Jane started to realize that this was definitely the most important job of her life and that she had missed so much over the past years but was determined to make it up to Louis and to do things differently this time. She knew that being a Sergeant Detective allowed her to work more reasonable hours and to stay away from the fields but three months after being promoted she had trouble adjusting to her new role as a team leader. Luckily for her spending time with her son and having Maura pregnant Jane knew that she had no choice but to embrace her new position and to take a step back and delegate to Frost and the rest of her team if she wanted to see her new baby grow up.

**Alright guys, this is the first part of this camping trip, maybe I will write another one if I find ideas...Or maybe I will just skip to Maura's next ultrasound(considering I'm still wondering if they're having twins or not.)**

**I think this was the perfect opportunity for Louis to ask questions about Maura's pregnancy and for Jane to realize that it was time for her to stop being a Detective and to embrace her new position and stay out off the fields!**

**As usual reviews are welcome!**

**PS: I know this chapter is gramatically awful. I dunno why but I have been struggling to write over the past few days...Sorry. I will try to do better next time.**


	51. Congratulations

**Chapter 51 :**

**Congratulations :**

About a week later the day the entire Isles family had been waiting for finally arrived : Maura was now eight weeks pregnant and had booked an appointment at the fertility clinic for the first ultrasound hoping they would be able to hear their baby's heart beats.

Sitting in front of Dr Thorton's desk waiting for him to join them Jane, Maura and Louis were as excited as they were nervous for various reasons.

Jane and Maura were worried that they might not be able to locate a heart beat and Louis was eager to find out how many babies Maura was carrying.

"Where is the Doctor mommy, it's not very polite to make us wait?" Sitting on Maura's lap agitating his legs in the air Louis could barely stay still. He had been waiting for this moment for two months, an eternity for a four year old.

"He has other patients and one of them probably needed his help, so just stay still."Maura replied trying to keep him quiet.

"Don't worry buddy, he's going to be here very soon….Oh here he is." Jane replied turning around as she heard Dr Thorton opening the door behind them.

"Jane, Maura, Louis. Forgive me for being late how is everything going?"Dr Thorton said closing the door behind him before moving towards his desk.

"I'm not in school today because I wanted to see the babies but mommy said it was okay." Louis replied smiling.

"Well I suppose missing a day isn't a big deal right?So Maura how have you been feeling since I last saw you 6 weeks ago?" Dr Thorton asked opening Maura's file seeing how impatient Louis was but determined to take his time to assess Maura state of mind and general health.

"I'm alright. To be honest with you I haven't been feeling any drastic changes, the morning sicknesses are almost inexistent, my appetite or sleeping patterns haven't changed yet and I feel more energized than ever."

"That's great. The first trimester is usually the hardest because your body overwhelmed by various changes and needs time to adjust but in your case it looks like it's going to be perfectly enjoyable. Jane, have you noticed any changes yet?"

"Well I agree with what Maura said, her morning sickness aren't as bad as mine were and she's not disgusted by sea food or raw meat yet, the only changed I noticed are in her mood if you know what I mean." Jane replied trying to be as delicate as possible.

"What's that supposed to mean?"Maura replied rising her voice.

"I think it means you're grumpy all the time mommy, but it's okay we still love you. Can I see the babies now Doctor please?You promised." Louis pouted unable to stay still on Maura's lap.

"I remember, and if your mommy is ready I'm going to ask her to undress and to lay down on my table. Maura?"

" Yes, stay with your mama while I undress alright?"Looking Jane her hands slightly shaking Maura was more nervous than she wanted to admit.

"Okay mommy."Louis replied bouncing out of Maura's lap.

A few minutes later Maura was finally settle on the exam table and Jane and Louis were sitting by her side holding her hand.

"Alright Louis, I don't know if your mommies explained this to you but what I'm going to do is to use this on your mommy's belly to see through it and if we're lucky we will be able to see the baby on this screen and listen to his heart. How don't that sound?" Obviously Dr Thorton knew that Jane and Maura didn't need any explanations on the procedure but knew that Louis was very curious and would ask questions about everything that was going to happen and he wanted to be sure that despite his young age he'd be able to understand things.

"I don't know…Mama, I changed my mind I don't want to see. Can I go?"Looking up at Jane his bottom lip slightly shaking Louis had changed his mind. After waiting for this moment for the past two months he wasn't sure he wanted to see his sibling anymore.

"Are you sure? You have been waiting for this for a long time. I promise you it's going to be really fun to see the little peanut on the screen."Looking down at her son Jane could see the panic and fear in his eyes. This was too much for him to handle .

"I SAID NO!"Louis screamed bouncing off Jane's lap before rushing towards the sofa at the other side of the room.

"Louis!"Trying to sit up on the table looking at Jane Maura was unable to comprehend what was happening.

"I got him, just relax."Jane replied kissing Maura's forehead.

"Okay."Looking at Louis sitting on the sofa at the other end of the room Maura was worried and started to regret to make him participate in her pregnancy to that extend. He was only a little boy and they had fed him with informations that were too hard for him to process and understand and he was confused.

"Hey buddy, do you mind telling me what's on your mind?"Jane asked sitting next to her son.

"I don't want to see the babies. What if there is something wrong with them?"

"Oh baby. I promise there is nothing wrong with the baby okay. Look, this is a picture my doctor took of you when you were in my belly."Pulling an ultrasound picture of her wallet Jane also started to realize that they had put too much pressure on him by being so honest and transparent on Maura's pregnancy and decided that from now on they would not feed him with useless information that would worry him rather than making things more real for him.

"I was so little…Like a peanut."Looking at his first ultrasound for the first time Louis was touched, despite knowing what an ultrasound was Maura and Jane never actually showed one to him.

"Yes you were and your heart was beating so fast and so loud that your mommy and I cried. I promise you the baby is going to be okay. Think about it, in a few years you will be able to tell him or her that you were the first person in the whole world to see him or her and to have a picture. How cool is that?"

"Grand Ma Angela is going to be jealous I think."Louis grinned feeling very privileged all the sudden.

"You bet. She almost begged us to take her with us but your mommy and I said no, that you were the big brother, you were the one who deserved to be here the most. So what do you say buddy, do you want to see your sibling?"Jane asked biting her lower lip.

"Yes. Oh mommy I'm sorry. I got scared." Louis replied rushing back towards Maura who has been observing the scene.

"It's okay. I got scared to when your mama was carrying you."Maura replied rubbing his cheek with her thumb.

"Good now that we all agree, let' s see how big this baby is, right Louis?"Spreading gel on Maura's belly Dt Thorton was amazed by how supportive and close the three of them were and had no doubt that this baby had just won the lottery being conceived in this family.

"Yes."Louis replied shaking his head hoping that Dr Thorton would be able to confirm his theory.

"Well…Let see what we got here."Dr Thorton said adjusting the monitor with one hand while moving the ultrasound on Maura's belly.

Turning her head, focusing on Jane's face Maura refused to look at the monitor before Dr Thorton told her to because she knew she would be able to interpret what was going to appear on that screen but wanted the Doctor to tell them because she was the patient this time and was determined to just relax and trust him.

"Everything is going to be alright, I promise."Jane replied kissing the top of Maura's left hand , her left arm strongly wrapped around their son.

"So Doctor, can you tell us anything yet?" Maura asked still focusing on her family.

"Well I actually have a question for your son. Louis, do you have any idea what you want to do when you grew up?"Dr Thorton asked looking at Louis knowing that the news he was about to deliver was going to excite him.

"I don't know. I'm only four but maybe I'm going to catch bad guys like mama and my uncle Frankie. Why?"Louis replied narrowing his eyebrows.

"Well because you might want to consider becoming a Doctor because you clearly have a gift. Congratulation Louis, you're going to have two siblings."Doctor Thorton replied pointing two little spots on his screen.

"WHAT?"Jane and Maura hissed at the same time looking at each other in terror.

"Yes, Maura is carrying twins. Look Louis, this is one baby and this is the other. They're actually about 8 millimeters which is exactly the perfect size."Dr Thorton explained inviting Louis to join him on the other side of the table knowing that Maura and Jane needed a few minutes to process the information.

"We're having twins...Are they identical?"Jane mumbled nervously looking at the screen.

"I'm afraid I won't be able to tell you that just now. It's too early to see if they share the same placenta or not but your obgyn should be able to tell in a couple weeks and later if you want to be sure I'm sure she'll agree to perform a CVS and a amniocentesis to see if they're dizygotic or monozygotic."

"That won't be necessary Doctor, I don't want Maura to go through any unnecessary tests. I think we can wait until they're born to find out, right?"Jane replied kissing the top of Maura's hand, tears streaming down her cheek.

"Yes, I think we can wait until we meet them to find out. It does not matter, though I think dizygotic twins would be better for you."Maura replied unable to believe she was carrying twins.

"Are you saying that you think that I won't be able to tell my own children appart?"Jane replied narrowing her eyebrows.

"Yes. You might be a police officer with a keen eye but telling identical twins appart can be challenging."

"You're right but I'm sure we'll find a way. Louis are you okay there?"Looking at the other side of the table Jane could see Louis standing still looking up at the screen.

"Yes mama. I'm alright, Doctor can I have picture?Grand ma is going to be so jealous!"

"Sure. Maura, how about I burn you a few dvds as well to show your families?"Dr Thorton offered puling his gloves off.

"Yes sure...Jane are you alright?"Sitting up on the table Maura could see how chocked Jane was. Up until now the possibility of having twins was only a joke between them but now it was real.

"I...I don't know. I mean yes. Twins, I think we can handle that, right?"The truth as that Jane was overwhelmed. She had prepared herself for the arrival of a new baby but not two. She knew that the entire family will have to readjust their entire life and as exciting as it was, it also scared her to death.

"Of course we can. Come on we should go now our parents are probably waiting for us already?" Taking a deep breath as she tried to clean the gel of her belly Maura refused to let herself be overwhelmed by the happy news. Right now they needed to celebrate with their families, thinking about the logistic could wait.

"Alright, well my work here is done and I will be transferring your file to your obgyn, please don't hesitate to call me if you need anything, alright?"Dr Thorton said a bit sad to have to let go of them, but as a Fertility specialist his job was now done.

"We will Doctor." Jane replied helping Maura gathering her things.

An hour later Maura, Jane and Louis arrived at the Isles mansion and were immediately welcome by Maura's parents and Angela.

"Gran Ma!I told you, I told you mommy is having two babies!I was right!Look!"Louis yelled running towards his grand mother Constance as soon as they entered the familial living room.

"Is that right?" Constance replied looking up at Maura.

"Yes, look look at the picture the Doctor gave me, look grand ma!" Climbing on Constance's lap waving the ultrasound picture under her nose Louis was over excited. He had been telling everyone that Maura was having twins and no one wanted to believe him but he was now able to prove that he was right.

"Yes, mom, dad, Angela, we're having twins."Maura smiled slightly shrugging her shoulders.

"That's terrific!" Mr Isles said walking towards his daughter his arms wide opened.

"Yes it is. I hope they're gonna be quieter than Louis." Jane chuckled.

"I hope so too. Jane, can I see you in my office please?There is something we need to talk about." Mr Isles replied inviting her to follow him.

"Sure. Maura I will let you with our mothers. " Jane replied kissing her forehead.

"Sure."

Walking towards Mr Isles office Jane was relieved. She knew how hysterical Angela could be in those moments and was happy to be away from her until the excitement was over.

"Thank you Sir for rescuing me. You know how my mother gets in those moments and her voice gets so high, it's almost painful."Jane joked.

"Yes, my wife can also be quite expressive but if I ask you to come here it's not to rescue you but to give you a little something as a congratulation gift." Mr Isles replied pulling an envelope of his jacket before inviting Jane to sit on the leather couch next to the gigantic fireplace.

"Oh Sir, that's very generous of you but what ever is in that envelope I can not accept it, but I would accept baby sitting nights if you want..."

"My wife and I would be glad to baby sit as much as you want, be sure of that Jane. I know how overwhelming raising one child is but I can only imagine how challenging raising two is going to be but I think what is in that envelope should help. Please open it." Mr Isles insisted knowing Maura would be thrilled.

"Okay...Oh, this is...What is this exactly?"Opening the enveloped containing several pages of what looked like official paperwork Jane started to read the first page but could barely believe what she was reading.

"This is the property tittle of our mansion, well your mansion now."

"Oh No, oh no Sir, I can not accept that, it's too much." Jane replied folding the papers, thrusting them back in the envelope.

"Don't be ridiculous. This house was always meant to be inherited by Maura after our death but since you decided to enlarge your family my wife and I figured you could use it now."

"Yes. Considering we're having twins we're definitely gonna need a bigger house but again it's too much and besides you love that house, it's yours."

"Technically it's my wife's house, she inherited from her parents when they died and we moved it a couple of years before Maura was born. Now that we're getting older we don't have the use for such a big house but you do. Look Jane, I know you're very proud and that you want to take care of your family but this is my family too and I want my grand children to grow up in a house that's big enough for them and that's full of history and memories. My wife and I will find a new house in no time. Please."

"Yes, I agree, my children deserve to be raised in a comfortable place and I know Maura has thousands of great memories from her childhood here or when she was in med-school but as you said I have my pride and I considering I'm already living in a house I'm not paying for I was hoping I would get the chance to buy our next house. Your offer is very generous but Maura and I need to talk about it, if that's okay with you."The truth was that Jane was flattered and honored by her father in law's offer but she had her pride and needed to discuss this with her wife before accepting his offer.

"Take all the time we need Jane. The house is not going anywhere."Nodding Mr Isles admired Jane's attitude. Over the years he was always concerned that Maura might meet someone that would take advantage of her money and her position but he knew that wasn't the case with Jane. He knew that money meant nothing to Jane, that she made it her personal life mission to provide for her family and despite respecting her for that he was still hoping that she would change her mind.

**Alright guys, over the past few chapters I tried my best to write about new topics, like homophobia or the camping trip, I even gave you a sexy bath scene but nothing seems to attract your interest. I still have lots of ideas for this story but the lack of interest simply indicates that I lost my mojo so I'm gonna take a break for writing for a little while, it might be a few days or more. I know my writing hasn't been good these past few chapters so I think it's better to take a break now. I'm dealing with something very hard in my personal life, something that has been on my mind for over 2 years now but I'm sure once it's take care of I'll be more incline to focus on my writing.**

**Anyway, Maura is having twins!I always wanted them to have twins and I know people suggested that they should be surprised in the middle of the pregnancy but with today's technology I doubt that missing a child on an ultrasound is possible.**

**What's your opinion regarding Mr Isles' offer? Do you think Jane is going to accept? I mean they clearly need a bigger house but is she willing to raise her kids in the Isles mansion?**


	52. The right decision

**Chapter 52 :**

**The right decision : **

A few minutes later Jane and Mr Isles went back into the living room only to find Maura, Constance, Angela and Louis watching the Dvd of the ultrasound Dr Thorton had burned for them.

"Are those my grand children?" Walking closer to the flat screen tv Mr Isles couldn't believe his eyes, here it was in front of him : the new Isles generation, their hearts beating so fast.

"Yes Grand pa, this is baby number one and this is baby number two. The Doctor said that he can't tell which one is the girl and which one if the boy yet, but I don't care, I can wait. They look like little peanuts, see?" Grabbing his grand father's hand showing him the two babies on the screen Louis couldn't get enough of watching them and was proud to show that he was able to spot them on the ultrasound.

"Yes I can see that. You once were that small you know." Mr Isles replied taking Louis on his lap.

Watching the two of them unable to keep their eyes of the tv screen the four women started to wonder who was actually the more overwhelmed : the men or them.

"What did my dad want to talk to you about?" Looking at Jane's face Maura could see that something was bothering her but could not imagine that her father could have given her any bad news, not today.

"I will tell you once we get home, don't worry. How are you? Feeling dizzy? I know I was after my first ultra sound." Remembering her first ultrasound Jane remembered how overwhelmed she felt afterwards. Despite knowing she was pregnant for many weeks seeing the baby and listening to his heart beating made things real and she remembered a thousands fears and concerns suddenly filling up her brain making it hard for her to think about anything else.

"Actually yes I do feel a bit dizzy. Even I considered having twins, this came as a surprise and my head is full of statistics on the complications that can occur during multiple pregnancies or birth and also on all the challenges raising twins is going to represent…"

"Alright, just breath. I'm going to make you a cup of tea but just try to relax. I promise your pregnancy is going to be closely monitored and that I will be there during the delivery and I won't let anything happen to our babies. I promise." Her hand on Maura's belly, gently kissing her temple Jane started to understand how her wife felt when she was the one pregnant with Louis. She started to feel that same desire to step up and take care of her, to reassure her and also to make sure that she only focused on her and the babies' health, and to spare her of any logistic related matter such as finding them a new home and arranging the move.

"Thank you."

"Angela would you mind stay with Maura while Jane and I prepare tea for everyone?" Standing up Constance was eager to talk to Jane and find out if she was going to accept their offer.

"Of course. Maura and I have a lot of things to discuss while the men over there continue to stare at that ultrasound." Holding a picture of the ultrasound in her hand Angela was as excited as she was when she found out Jane was pregnant. The fact that the babies weren't biologically related to her didn't matter and would not matter to Tommy and Frankie or to Frank Sr either. Maura was a Rizzoli and the babies will be as well.

"Let me guess : you want to know if I accepted your husband's offer?" Stepping into the kitchen reaching out for the boiler Jane knew that Constance was going to do everything she could to convince her and that Maura would as well. She knew that Maura and Louis loved that house and that they would be happy to move in but her pride still made her reluctant to accept the offer.

This was her family and she was perfectly capable of finding them a suitable home, one she would actually pay for and feel comfortable in.

"Yes and before you say anything you need to know that Maura was always meant to inherit that house the way I inherited it when my father died. This house was always meant to be passed on from generation to generation, that's why it's in my name and my husband has no claim in it. I wasn't really planning on giving it to you before I died but finding out that Maura was pregnant I started to think about it and I came to the conclusion that this was the best decision to make. Obviously since Louis was born we tried to spend more time in Boston but my husband and I don't need a house that big and we would be more than happy to purchase a smaller house to spend the rest of our lives in." Reaching out to the cupboard above her to grab several cups Constance who had learned to get to know Jane knew that convincing her would not be easy and that she could not be intrusive or disrespectful of her feelings.

"I understand your point, I really do and I'm flattered and touched by this incredible gift you're giving us. As I said to your husband I know you and Maura have wonderful memories of growing up in that house and I can see Louis just loves it so much. Actually he calls it his castle and he always feels like a prince when he stays here but you have to try to see things from my point of view." One of the thing Jane liked about the Isles were that they never put their nose in their marriage or try to interfere with the way they were raising their son. They obviously gave their honest opinions and advices when asked but they never crossed any line and Jane was grateful that Constance trusted her with her daughter's and grand son's well being and was hoping she would trust her regarding this issue.

"I do understand how you feel Jane. You're a very proud, independent, accomplished woman who works hard everyday to provide for her family and you feel uncomfortable considering living in another house that you didn't pay for." Constance replied reaching out for Maura's favorite tea hoping it would help her relax.

"Exactly. I know it's not the 50's anymore and that I should not have a problem with Maura being wealthy and most of the time I don't. I mean I know she has money and she can spend it the way she want to but as you said I work hard to support our family and things work fine that way but we're already living in a house your family's money paid for. You know I always knew that Maura would want another child and that we would probably need to find a bigger house but I always pictured myself being the one paying for it this time . Actually I started saving money for a down payment after we got married. I might not have the financial means to buy a house that can compete with your mansion but I intend on making sure my family lives in the best conditions possible."

"I understand Jane and I will accept it if you choose to decline our offer. You're right this is your family and you know what's best for them." Nodding Constance admired Jane's pride and determination. Where a lot of people would have stopped working and would have been perfectly happy to live of Maura's money Jane continued to work insisting on paying every single bill.

Unfortunately despite finding her attitude admirable Constance wanted what was best for her grand children and having their mother working herself off to pay for a house when she could have accepted their offer wasn't something that made her particularly happy.

Unfortunately Constance had known Jane long enough to know that she wasn't someone who could be coerced to do anything she didn't want to but was hoping that she would be smart enough to realize that her offer was indeed the best solution and that would put her pride aside and accept it.

"Thank you. I know Maura is probably gonna want us to accept the offer and you know I can't refuse her anything but I hope she's gonna be opened to dialogue so we can find the best solution." The truth was that Jane knew that she probably won't have a choice, that if Maura wanted to move in the mansion she would probably say yes. All she was hoping was that Maura would accept to at least talk about it and try to understand her reluctance.

"As much as I'm sure Maura loves our house she would never force you to move in if she feels it makes you uncomfortable. I think you have a very honest relationship and I truly believe that there is nothing you can not tell her. Just speak from your heart and I'm sure the two of you will find the perfect solution. Our offer is only one of the many options you have, so just relax Jane. Alright?" Gently rubbing Jane's back Constance could see that Jane was split between her own desires and Maura's and knew that she had already made a lot of sacrifices to be the wife her daughter deserved and she was hoping that this decision would not be another because she knew too well that sacrifices had a way of hunting you and resurfacing when least expected.

"I know, thanks. I think we should go back now, you know how impatient Maura is when it comes to her afternoon tea." Grabbing the tray full of cups Jane was relieved to know that Constance was on her side and that she would not try to influence Maura's decision and that she respected her enough not to interfere in their marriage.

About an hour later Jane and Maura were ready to live the house, leaving Louis behind with his grand parents. Maura's parents were scheduled to travel to Paris until Christmas and were eager to spend this week end with their little prince before leaving.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay without me mommy?You look tired." Escorting his mommies at the door Louis was split between his desire to stay with his grand parents for the week end and taking care of Maura who was obviously still in shock.

"Don't worry about me sweetheart. I'm alright, it's just that I didn't expect the Doctor to tell us I was having twins so I think I just need a little time to get used to the idea you know?" Kneeling in front of her son reaching for his untied shoe Maura was grateful that Louis was staying with his grand parents. Not only Jane and her had a millions things to talk about but she also needed to rest and to process the news and knew that having Louis roaming around the house talking about the twins would not help. As much as she loved Louis he wasn't the best person when it came to be quiet.

"Okay mommy. I understand you need time alone with mama. It's okay grand ma promised to take me to the aquarium and to the museum and maybe to the park tomorrow. She said we can even bake cookies. I will save you one if you want." Staying with his grand parents Louis was literally treated like a little king : he had his own bedroom right next to Maura's old room and they could never refuse him anything. Actually spending time with him helped Constance feel younger than ever. Having this little guy always eager to explore new territories, always asking questions was very stimulating for her and it was also a way for her to make up for the time she never spent with Maura.

"I would love that very much, now come on go put your bag in your room. I will see you on monday right after school."Even if Louis was staying at least one week end a month with either Angela or her parents it was still hard for Maura to leave her son, even knowing he was only a few miles away from her.

"Okay mommy. Mama, take care of mommy and the babies. I love you so so much."Wrapping her arms around Jane as well unlike Louis his mother was comfortable spending the week end with his grand parents.

Being with either Angela or the Isles or even Tommy of Frankie Louis was always treated like a little prince but he knew that very soon he would have to share his family with his siblings and was determined to enjoy his privileges as much as possible before becoming a big brother.

"I promise I will take good care of your mommy and the twins. We'll call you before bedtime okay?"

"Okay." Louis nodded kissing Maura's belly before running towards the stairs leading to his bedroom.

"Don't worry Maura. We're going to take good care of him. Now go home and just relax. I will drop him at school on monday morning and I will see you later at the gallery." Constance said escorting her daughter, Jane and Angela to the door.

"Yes. Your exhibition is next wednesday and we still have a lot of things to do . Dad, I will see you on monday as well." Maura replied hugging both her parents.

"Don't mention it. We're not going to see him until Christmas, that's almost 5 weeks without our little prince."

On the way back to their house Jane remained silent, unable to think about something other than that offer her in laws had made. She knew what Maura was going to say and was hoping that expressing her reluctance would not lead them to fight. Today was the most beautiful day of their lives and she wasn't willing to ruin it.

Maura on the other could not stop talking with Angela who was siting on the back seat of the car.

"So, twins…That you should be a nice challenge for your organization skills, right Janie?" Sitting behind Maura Angela was unable to hide her enthusiasm. She was going to be a grand mother again and was eager to hold the twins in her arms and to take care of them the way she has been taking care of Louis.

"Yes Angela. I think having twins is going to be challenging for the both of us, but we're a great team, not to mention we have an exceptionally caring and supportive family so we should be fine." Looking at Jane seeing no reaction on her face Maura realized that she didn't even hear Angela's question. Jane was was definitely preoccupied and she could not wait to go back home to question her about it.

"Exactly and besides you can afford to hire all the help you need. The thing that I have been thinking about is your house. It's too small to welcome two new babies, are you planning on moving out or on remodeling it?"

"We're working on it Ma, don't worry. Here, you're home. Don't forget that Louis is probably going to call you tomorrow after visiting the aquarium." Jane replied pulling over in front of Angela's apartment.

Smiling at Jane's comment Maura immediately put the pieces together and understood what her father her and talked about and knew that the decision would not be easy to make.

"Alright, well if you need real estate tips ask Maura's dad he was very helpful when I needed a new place. Don't hesitate to call if you need anything over the week end. Love you both." Angela replied hugging them both.

"Love you too Ma."

A few minutes later Jane and Maura were finally home.

Taking her shoes and jacket off throwing her keys on the coffee table Jane let a loud sigh out as she literally collapsed on the couch, exhausted by this highly emotional day.

"Silence. I think that is my favorite thing in this entire home world. Coming home knowing that the two of are gonna spend a nice and quiet week end together without having to run after Louis to make him take his bath or brush his teeth or without having to listen to him talk about the twins for hours qualifies as the definition of being in heaven don't you think?"

"I agree but don't get used to it, in about seven months we're going to have two more children crying, needing our attention 24/7." Maura smiled climbing on top of her.

"I know, but as I told your dad I certainly hope they won't be as hyperactive as Louis. I mean, where does he even get that energy?"Jane replied snaking her arms around her feeling her baby bump against her belly.

"I think he's a very happy, curious and expressive child but I doubt his joyful personality can be qualified as hyperactivity. Trust me, it's a terrible disease and children suffering from it are very unhappy and the treatment are very very heavy."

"I know. So anyway, now that we're alone. I wanted to tell you about the conversation I had with your dad."Biting her bottom lip Jane knew that they needed to talk about this now, that dragging things would not help. They had the entire week end to talk about it and to make a decision and she was determined to put that time to good use.

"Let me guess : he offered us the mansion?" Maura replied resting her head on Jane's chest slightly blowing on her skin with her breath.

"Did your mom tell you about it when we were in his office?"

"No but I always suspected that he would make such an offer. Over the past few months I heard him and my mom talking about buying a smaller house. I think they're getting older and don't have the use for such a big house and the way you replied to your mother when she asked if we had considered buying a bigger house confirmed my suspicions."

"Alright, well I didn't expect it at all. I mean as soon as we decided to have a second child I knew we would have to buy a bigger house because as large as yours is it's only three bedrooms and that third one is your office so obviously we can't turn it into a nursery. Now that we know you're expecting twins moving out is a no brainer."

"But you don't feel comfortable moving in my family's mansion?" Kissing Jane's collar bone Maura was not sad or disappointed. She knew Jane and her weren't from the same social class and that living in a mansion was not in her personality and she loved her for it. Jane was a working class Italian police officer that worked hard to provide for them and who made it her life mission to take care of her family and Maura felt safe and taken care of with her. The fact that she wasn't born with money or was never able to fit into her world never bothered her.

"No I don't. I mean I do feel comfortable sleeping there from time to time and despite looking like a freaking castle it's a very warm and welcoming house but it's just too big for me you know. Not to mention that …" Jane replied biting her lower lip.

"Yes?"Sitting up on top of her Maura could feel that Jane was about to tell her the real reason for her reluctance and truly had no idea what it could be.

"I don't want to sound stupid…"

"Oh Jane, we've been married long enough for you to know that nothing you can say could make you stupid in my eyes. I love you." Maura replied her voice slightly lower and warmer as she cupped Jane's face with her right hand.

"Well, I have my pride you know. I mean we're already living in a house your family money paid for and I always thought that I would be the one buying or next house. Actually I have been saving up since we got married."

"Really?" Her voice slightly rising Maura realized that Jane had been making compromises ever since they had started dating. She had taken her name, had agreed to live in her house without paying for it, she had even accepted a promotion that she knew would keep her away from the fields only to be able to cut down her hours. To be the wife and mother she needed to be Jane had made a lot of sacrifices and thinking about it Maura suddenly realized that moving in her parents' mansion would require that Jane put her pride aside aside one more time and to do something she didn't want to do.

"Yes, I remember you telling me that you wanted to have another child when we went to the cabin the first time and I knew that buying a bigger house would be a necessity so I started saving up to have enough money for a down payment. Actually I was thinking we could buy a old house that me and my dad and brothers would completely restore you know."

"Oh Jane, that is so sweet…" Maura replied placing her right hand on her chest feeling heart racing.

"Maybe but I know the babies are gonna be here before we know it and we don't have time to find the perfect house and to remodel it completely and even if we had time you're pregnant and you need me here with you not away working on some old house."Placing her hand on Maura's belly Jane knew that being a parents was about making sacrifices but she didn't care. Her dream of restoring a old house could wait. Right now what matters was that her wife and unborn children needed her and she needed them as much if not more.

"But this would be your dream, restoring a old house?"

"Yes. I mean I like that your great grand father build your house and that it's been passed from generation to generation even since. I like the idea of building something for our family that is going to survive us and be passed on to our children and their children after that you know, but I know that I won't be able to realize that dream for now and it's okay but please don't make me move in your parents' mansion. I would not feel like home."

"Alright. As much as I love my childhood house I want you to be comfortable in our home and if it means buying an old ruin and rebuilding it from ground to roof then that's we're going to do."

"You're not serious…" Jane chuckled.

"I am. You Jane helped me realize my dreams. You gave me the most wonderful and happiest marriage I could have dreamed off, you gave me a son and you supported me when I decided to resign and now despite your doubts and fears you're helping me achieve my dream of carrying our children. Not to mention you made a lot of sacrifices for our family. I think it's time for me to help you realize your dream."

"I…I don't know what to say. I mean you're pregnant Maura and I already work a lot and remodeling a house would going to take me away from home and I don't want that."

"Then we'll hire people. You don't need to do everything yourself you know. We can hire an architect that will draw plans according to what we want and then we'll hire the best team to make those plans come to life. And besides you know how much I enjoy remodeling."

"No, what you enjoy is shopping and giving orders to people who work for you." Smiling Jane started to image Maura, pregnant giving orders to painters or plumbers and knew that was something she needed to avoid. Normal Maura was already hard to satisfy but pregnant and hormonal Maura would probably be a nightmare to handle.

"Yes but not as much as I enjoy giving orders to police officers."Maura teased sliding on Jane's lap snaking her arms around her.

"Hey you should be honored, I don't even take orders from Cavanaugh." Slightly chuckling Jane snaked her arms around her wife and realized that very soon she would not be able to, that soon her baby bump would come between them. It had been two months since they had sex and Jane was determined to make up for it this week end and every other day after that until Maura would find herself physically incapable of having sex.

"I know, anyway, have we made our decision yet?" Looking down in Jane's eyes Maura could see the desire, the arousal almost and knew that it was only a matter of minute before Jane looses control.

"Yes but as much as I enjoy your offer I'm gonna have to decline. You, Louis and our twins are my priority and I don't want to spend a minute away from you guys outside my working hours. I have the rest of my life to realize this dream, actually it could be a great retirement project but right now I want to focus on us, only us."

"Alright then, should we look for a house to buy?" Thinking about moving out Maura was a bit sad, so many things had happened in that house, so many family dinners, her proposal, their "almost" wedding, their son's first step, his first word, but she knew that Jane was right, not only the house was too small now but it was important to have a house that the two of them actually chose, that reflected both their tastes and personalities, where they could build the rest of their life in free of the past.

"Absolutely."

"Alright then but just you and I are clear. I will not let you work yourself off to pay for this house. We're married and we already share everything so despite finding the idea of taking a mortgage and paying interest when we have the financial ressources to pay for it cash ridiculous I insist of paying half of it and this is not up for discussion." The truth was that as much as she admire Jane's courage and desire to be independent from her family's money Maura wasn't willing to see Jane working overtime to pay for a mortgage. The perfect solution would have been to take the money directly from her trust fund instead of having to pay interest on a loan but she knew that doing things this way was the only way for Jane and she respected her desire.

"Okay. I will not fight you on this. God Maura we're having twins, can you actually believe it?"

"No, I have trouble believing it myself. I had considered it because Louis was talking about it constantly but seeing them on the ultrasound listening to their heart beats, I just could not believe it." Despite being a Doctor and having witnessed Jane's pregnancy Maura had no idea what she was getting herself into. She knew everything there to know about twins on paper but she did not know how it felt to feel two little human being growing inside her or feeling them kicking and she could not wait to finally experience it. Actually ever since she found out she was pregnant she had only been able to notice slight changes and knew that the most memorable experience would be to feel them kick and move but knew that would probably not happen for another three months and that she would need to be patient and simply enjoy seeing her body change.

"What did I tell you a long time ago : us Rizzoli are always right, it's almost a gift." Jane joked shrugging her shoulders.

"Yes and it seems that our son is just as gifted as his mothers. Speaking of Louis since he's with my parents I was thinking we could make up for the past two months." Maura replied licking her lips in anticipation as she quickly started to unbutton Jane's blue shirt.

"Oh…are you sure?"Swallowing hard Jane was immediately turned on by her wife's obvious desire.

"Yes, believe it or not but I have been burning up. The last time we made love was the night before the fertilization eight weeks ago and I can not wait another minute. I want, actually I need you to fuck me now." Attacking Jane's lips as she violently opened her shirt revealing a white tank top Maura wasn't willing to wait another minute. Her inner thighs were burning and she needed Jane to help her turn it off because it consumed her completely.

"Alright, but I'm not fucking you on the couch." Jane replied snaking her arms around her wife Maura standing up.

"My faithful knight." Maura sighed kissing Jane both her arms and legs snaked around her.

That after afternoon eight long weeks and abstinence Jane and Maura made love for hours until they could barely breath or move. Both of them relieved after their Doctor appointments both women needed to think about themselves and each other just for the week end. They needed to be women, wives not mothers. Despite being surrounded by devoted friends and family Jane and Maura had no idea how they were going to manage to raise two babies plus an hyperactive four year old. Raising Louis has been easier than they expected so far and somehow they had managed to find the perfect balance between Jane's career, being loving parents and being wives.

Unfortunately they did not know how having twins would affect their marriage, if the overwhelming responsibilities and constant care they would require would bring tension and if they would manage to spend time together.

Up until now Jane and Maura's rule was to never forget that they were wives and women before being parents. They were convinced the key to be good parents, to be able to give everything their son and raise him in a healthy environment they needed to be happy in their marriage and fulfilled as women.

Unfortunately neither of them knew if continuing to live this way would be possible with the twins. Despite being determined not to neglect their marriage Jane and Maura knew that the next couple of years were going to be challenging and that their three children would probably keep them from spending time together so they were determined to enjoy their last few months of freedom to spend quality time together hoping they would find a way not to lose each other in their knew role as parents of twins.

**Jesus, that was a long chapter! That's what happens when I take my time :)**

**Alright guys, first I wanted to thank you for the support. I'm going through a rough patch and it's nice to see that you support me.**

**I was planning on staying away from FF longer but your encouragements cheered me up and inspired me.**

**I realized that writing when I'm depressed is not a good idea. The ideas are still there but the style and grammar suck.**

**I also realized that due the high demand I have a tendency to rush and sometimes I end up writing shitty chapters.**

**So from now on I won't post everyday, I'm going to take my time to work on the grammar and the style. ****Two updates a week sounds reasonable.**

**I have lots of ideas for this story and I don't know when I'm going to end it. :)**

**I'm not saying all my problems are solved but as this morning the first stone towards a better life for me has been set :) I can't promise I won't stop writing in the future, but I will always warn you before don't worry.**

**As always feedback and reviews or ideas are welcome! **

**I know most of you wanted Jane to accept this offer but it's not like her to live in a mansion like that and I hope the compromise they found satisfied you.**

**I have a small idea of what's gonna happen in the next chapter but I'm not sure. As I said, I'm taking my time!**


	53. Too much information

**Alright guys first of all I just noticed that this story has gathered 604 reviews so far which means that I broke my all time record of 602 reviews for what was my first Rizzles Story " wishes can come true."**

**I obviously never aimed at breaking that record, my only goal has always been to write a 100 chapters story without being boring.**

**I wrote many stories so far but I never managed to reach that goal yet.**

**Even if I have lots of ideas for this story I doubt that I can pull another 47 chapters :(**

**We'll see! Anyway thanks for the support.**

**Chapter 53 :**

**Too much knowledge : **

Later that night the happy couple was laying in bed naked, Maura on her back gently running her fingers through Jane's hair and Jane snuggled on her side, her head resting on Maura's belly.

Both out of breath after their trip to pleasure land the two women were now trying to slowly land back to reality.

"I think you're starting to show." Wandering her fingers on Maura's toned belly Jane knew how sensitive she usually was regarding her weight but that she could afford to mention her baby bump without offending her.

"Do you really think so?" Maura replied looking down at her naked belly.

"Yeah. I mean someone who doesn't know your body the way I do would probably not see it but I do. I can definitely see a small baby bump." Jane replied as she gently started to kiss her wife's belly slowly dragging her tongue all the way up to that particular spot between her two generous breasts.

"You're right nobody knows my body the way you do not to mention that you have a very keen eyes. Actually you're right I have gained two kilos so far but since I'm carrying twins I'm expecting to gain a lot more but it doesn't matter." Unlike Jane who was born with good genes Maura had to watch her diet and work out to remain fit which has been proven to be difficult with a four year old at home. Luckily ever since Louis started school Maura had found herself with more time to take care of herself. Unfortunately now that she was pregnant she knew that remaining fit would not be impossible but she did not care. She was obviously determined to continue to stay on a healthy diet and to avoid junk food as much as possible but she was also determined to enjoy this pregnancy fully and to give her body what ever it would ask for.

"Of course it doesn't. You're pregnant, it's the perfect opportunity for you to eat what ever you want when ever you want. Don't worry I will still love you when you're half a ton." Jane joked immediately assaulting Maura's lips to keep her from replying.

"I certainly hope so. Oh Jane I can not wait to feel them moving." Maura replied giving a quick bite at Jane's bottom lip to show her disapproval.

"I know, but you're gonna have to wait a little bit longer before being able to feel them, but the good thing is because you're having twins you might actually feel them earlier than I did."

"Have we been reading?"

"Yes. I have never really considered having twins but then Louis starting talking about it constantly and I figured I didn't have anything to lose by doing some research." Jane replied sliding next to Maura not wanting to put to much pressure on her belly by remaining on top of her.

"And what did you find?" Hearing Jane confessing that she had done research Maura's heart was immediately filled up with prde. After years of trying to improve Jane's organization skills and of trying to convince her that it was thorough preparation was always the way best to apprehend new challenges Jane had finally listened to her.

"Nothing I didn't suspect but it's pretty clear that it's going to be harder for you than it was for me that's why we need to start looking for a full time nanny as soon as possible." Jane replied settling on her left side her right arms around Maura's waist.

"Don't you think it's a bit early?"

"No. Remember when I was pregnant. I started being exhausted around the fifth month, unable to stay on my feet more than a few minutes at the time and you're carrying twins so I can only imagine how soon you're going to feel the exhausted too. Add to that the fact that we are fortunate enough to have the more dynamic child in this world who despite being very understanding has needs. I don't want him to feel neglected but I don't want you to endanger yourself or our babies by trying to do everything on your own. Your health has to be our top priority."

"You're right. Very soon I will not be able to play with him or to even follow him around the way I usually do. Finding a nanny now is actually a good idea, it will allow all of us to bond with her and then feel more comfortable once the babies are born."

"Exactly. I think getting got know her before you give birth might actually be the smartest thing to do, that way you will trust her more easily when it's time for her to take care of the twins."

"I don't want anyone to take care of our twins except us Jane."

"I know baby but we don't have a choice. I know you would prefer if I retired to be a stay home mother like you but I'm not ready for that yet. I know that I missed a lot of things over the past few years but things are different now. I got promoted and even if delegating wasn't easy for me at first I finally wrapped my head around the idea of not being on the fields with Frost and you know what? It feels good. It feels incredibly good to know that I get to go home to you guys instead of following a lead or interrogating a suspect. I'm not ready to retire Maura but things have changed and I will be more present than I was over the past four years I promise." Cupping her wife's face with her right hand gently rubbing her cheek with her thumb those words sounded like a promise. Despite knowing how understanding of her position Maura was Jane always felt like she was not home enough but thanks to her promotion she finally started to believe that things were going to be different.

"Don't put yourself down that easily Jane. Yes you missed a few baths and dinners but overall you are a very present and devoted mother and Louis loves you for it. Your work is time consuming and after being your partner for so many years I can not hold it against you. As long as I feel that we're your priority I will continue to make compromises to make things work. I know you're not ready to retire and I would never ask you to. I understand the need you have to do this, to make the world a better place especially now that we're parents and I love you for it." The truth was that Maura knew that Jane would retire or take a desk assignment if she asked her too but she knew that if would kill her. It had taken her a long time but Maura had finally come to peace with Jane's needs : she needed to be on the job, to give justice, to run after criminals but she needed her family more. Over the past few years Maura had seen Jane changed, taking her weeks end off, leaving the station early. Yes becoming a mother had changed Jane for the better but not enough for her to feel ready to retire. Luckily for her Maura didn't mind, they had find the perfect balance and knew that Jane would make ever more compromises now that they were about to have twins. She loved and trusted her wife enough to allow her to do what she was born to do, trusting that she would always come back to her at reasonable hours and in one piece.

"And I love you for being so understanding and you need to know that you, our son and our unborn twins are my priority. I might still need to be on the job but I would retire in a heart beat if I ever felt that our family needed it. Do you trust me when I say that?"

"Of course. I know you would give up everything for us but there is no need to. Having twins is going to be a challenge and it won't be easy but we're going to make it. I have no doubt about it. I love you." Maura replied as she softly blow a kiss on Jane's gorgeous lips.

"I love you too. So have you considered if you want two boys, two girls or one of each?" Jane asked as started to wander her fingers on her wife's back immediately feeling her shivering under her touch.

"You know what people always say : as long as they're healthy their gender doesn't matter but I have to admit that I would like at least one of the two to be a girl. What about you?"

"I would really like to have one of each, I don't know if I could survive two daughters with half your DNA."

"Hey!What's that supposed to mean?" Maura objecting her voice slightly rising as she poked Jane's belly.

"You know exactly what's that supposed to mean. Remember Louis' first day of school? He spent 45 minutes in the bathroom and I can only imagine how painful it's going to be for me if we have two girls."

"He takes care of his appearance I don't see what's wrong in that and besides why are you saying that having two girls that could inherit my personality would be challenging for you? I thought I was perfect?" Maura grinned battling her eyelashes.

"Yes you are but despite knowing that I'm teasing you fall for it every single time and that makes you even more adorable." Jane smiled pondering each word with a kiss starting on Maura's neck, her collar bone all the way down to her beautiful breasts.

"I…Jane wait. I'm exhausted. Is it alright if we just talk?" Gently escaping Jane's embrace Maura was suddenly not in a sexy mood at all. Jane and her had started to talk and she wanted to finish that talk. She wanted to use this week end to open up about everything that scared her before they found themselves overwhelmed with between the search for a nanny or the perfect house.

"Yes. I'm sorry. You look worried, what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything." Rising her head Jane could see that something was bothering her wife but despite having a very clear idea why she needed Maura to tell her in her own words. She knew that acknowledging her fears and talking about them out loud was the first step towards conquering them.

"I'm scared Jane." The words barely audible Maura was embarrassed. She was a thirty nine year old Doctor who had already participated in one pregnancy before but she was scared. For the first time in her life despite being overly prepared Dr Maura Isles was scared of not knowing enough and of doing thing the wrong way.

"Scared of what?" Positioning herself on her side looking in her wife's eyes Jane was for the first time seeing a kind of insecurity she never saw before. Maura had felt insecure and scared of not being able to bond with Louis but this was different.

"I'm... I'm scared of not being strong enough to carry our babies to term and to give birth." Lowering her eyes Maura was embarrassed, after spending 9 months encouraging Jane telling her she was strong enough when she was pregnant she was unable to follow her own advices.

"Oh baby, don't say that. Remember what you told me : Carrying children and giving birth is the most natural thing in the world for a women, we have been doing it for thousands of years."

"I know but that was before I witnessed you being in excruciating pain, curled in a ball unable to breath on regular basis for the last 4 months of your pregnancy and before I had to talk to you while you were giving birth to keep you from passing out from the pain. I'm having twins Jane, I can only imagine that the pain is going to be multiplied by two and I don't think I can handle it." As she started to remember Jane's hours of suffering during her last trimester multiplied by two Maura started to hyperventilate, her heart started to hammer her chest and her mouth was dry.

"Alright baby, just calm down. First of all I was in pain for two reasons : First, I was on my feet all day working myself off pushing the limit of what my body was willing to handle. You my dear are not working anymore and very soon you are going to have all the help you need so you can rest as much as you need. Second, I was in pain because Louis was like a kangaroo, he was always kicking and flipping over but those babies Maura, they have half your DNA so I'm sure they're going be just like you, very quiet, zen and that they won't keep you awake the same way Louis did. Regarding the birth, well I almost passed out because I didn't get to have the epidural and it was my fault. I wanted us to get married so badly that I ignored the contractions and then it was to late to get the epidural but that's not going to happen with you. I know that the minute you start having contractions you're going to ask me or who ever is with you at this moment to take you with the hospital. "

"You think so?"

"Yes. I promise that your pregnancy is not going as painful as mine was because you're a completely different woman. You're not as stubborn and reckless as I am and unlike me you're prepared and willing to make any compromises necessary. Twins or not you're going to be alright and even if you found yourself in pain I will be here to climb in bed and hold you until you feel better and I will be there when you give birth to our babies to hold your hand and encourage you. You're not in this alone Maura. I'm here." Saying those words Jane was hoping that Maura rationalism would take over her fear because she was telling the truth : Maura was nothing like her and she knew for a fact that her pregnancy was going to be perfectly normal because she was going to be more careful and less stubborn.

"I know Jane, I just…I'm a Doctor I know every single step of development. I could tell you what is happening to our babies day by day but despite all that knowledge I feel that I don't know anything and it's scaring me."

"Too much knowledge is not necessarily a good thing. Being pregnant and giving birth is not about knowing but feeling. In a few weeks you're going to feel our babies kicking and floating inside you and at first it's going to scare the crap out of you but after a while it's just going to calm you down and to give you the strength you need to go through all this. I promise you that feeling them moving will make you forget all the morning sicknesses, back pain or swollen breasts and feet."

"I know. Have I recently told you how grateful I was to have you as my wife?" Her left arms around Jane's waists so close that she could feel their breasts touch Maura was finally calming down. Jane was right : billion of women had gone through this since the beginning of life on earth and besides she had something none of them had : Jane.

"Not in the past 45 minutes, but don't worry I know. Is there anything I can do to help you feel better and to help you apprehend this pregnancy more easily?"

"Yes there is something. I know you offered to do this a few weeks ago and I know it's going to be dangerous but I need you to find Doyle. I need to know about my family medical history." Saying those words Maura knew how dangerous and irrational her demand was but she knew that she would not be able to enjoy her pregnancy without knowing about her family medical history.

"Alright. I'll start working on that next week. Considering he has been sending Louis presents for the past four years, it's safe to assume that he's not far and I'm pretty sure he won't be hard to find. Actually I wouldn't be surprised if he just knocked on our door when we least expect it." Despite being a dedicated officer who a visceral hatred for people like Paddy Doyle Jane could not help but feeling respect for the man and for what he had done in the past to protect his daughter. She knew that despite being who he was he loved Maura and was hoping he would be able to give her some answers.

"I know. It's strange but sometimes I can feel him watching me when I walk Louis to school or when we go to the park. I look around and I can't see him but I can feel him. It's a very unsettling feeling."

"I have the same feeling sometimes and as I said he's incapable of staying away from you so he probably spent the past four years watching us from a distance."

"I know and as much as I love my parents It's reassuring to know that he's looking out for us. I mean I know protecting us is your job but I know that if anything happened to you Frankie, Barry or even Vincent would protect us but knowing what he's capable of to protect our family makes me feel safe. Does that make me a bad person?" Ever since she had met Doyle Maura had been split between seeing him for who he really was : a cold blooded killer and looking beyond that. After years of torturing herself thinking about him Maura had finally come to terms with who he was and could not help but feeling an unsettling affection for him. Despite being an officer of the law like Jane Maura was strangely grateful that Doyle had killed for her and she felt safe knowing that he would always be there for her and her family willing to do things that because they were outside the law Jane wouldn't be able to do. All her life Maura had lived by a certain moral code, by moral values and never thought retaliation or violence was the answer. She always thought that it was the easiest way out but ever since she became a mother and a wife her values had changed. Now she knew she would not hesitate to ask Doyle to get rid of someone the way he would see fit if it mean protecting her family and after feeling guilty about it for a long time, after blaming it on her DNA she was finally in peace with it. You do what ever you need to do to protect your family and after sending Dean in jail she knew she was capable of anything for hers not because she had killer blood running through her veins but because she was a mother and that made her more dangerous than any serial killer on this planet.

"No. Despite being a cold blooded killer he's your biological father and he gave everything away for you, to keep you safe and I trust him. Actually if anything happened to you I trust him to protect you in a way Frankie, Frost or Korsak would not be able to. I will find him don't worry. Now just close your eyes while I work on dinner." Jane replied kissing her wife's forehead.

"Alright. Thank you Jane." Slightly closing her eyes feeling her wife's warmth filling up her own heart Maura felt slightly better. She knew she had no reason to be worried, that no matter what was going to happen in the next seven months she wasn't alone. She knew she had the best OBGYN in the country to help her and a wife who was extremely devoted and also a family willing to do anything for her. Life was good, it truly was, actually it was too good to worry about every single thing that could hypothetically go wrong.

_Flash back : _

_Louis was now about three year old. _

_Today just like every other day for the past few weeks Jane arrived home just in time to put her son to bed after spending the entire day looking at crime scenes pictures. For the past two weeks she had been tracking a serial killer with Frost. Despite not having any lead Jane refused to stay at the station all night looking at the black board the way she used to. She was a mother now and going home every night in time to put her son to bed had become more important than her obsession with her job. Actually after being around dead people and murders all day coming home and holding her son became her favorite part of the day. Holding him feeling him breath, laugh in her arms somehow gave her the amount of light and hope and motivation she needed to continue to do her job without letting the darkness swallowing her alive._

_So that night Jane was lying in her son's bed reading him his favorite story when the little man suddenly felt he needed to ask her a question, that question she knew he would eventually ask and that scared her to death._

_"Mama, what happened to your hands?" Gently rubbing the top of Jane's hand with his small fingers Louis wasn't disgusted or scared by them because he was used to them but he always wondered what had happened._

_"Well, remember I told you that my job is to catch bad people to make sure they don't hurt people like your mommy or you?" Measuring her words Jane was trying to find the perfect way to explain what Hoyt had done to her without traumatizing him._

_"Yes, just like in my story. You're a knight and mommy is the princess and Boston is the castle you protect with uncle Frankie, uncle Barry and uncle Vince too."_

_"Yes. Well a long time ago before I met your mommy there was this...dragon that was scaring people. He was really really bad and one day he took a girl , a very young girl and he wanted to hurt her." Jane started thinking she could use Louis' book to turn what happened into a fairy tale._

_"Yes but you saved her mama!"_

_"Yes I did. I found the dragon's cave and saved her but before I could save her the dragon hurt my hands and that's how I got my scars ." Saying those words Jane could almost feel the scalpels thrusting through her flesh pinning her on the floor and the blood in her mouth and even Hoyt's breath on her face._

_"But mommy is a Doctor. Did she help you feel better?" Hearing her mother's voice slightly trembling Louis who was only three could feel that this was a painful moment for her to talk about and almost felt guilty for asking._

_"Yes. You know after the dragon hurt me I never let anyone touch my hands because they hurt very much and one day I met your mommy. I remember seeing her the first time with her shinny shoes and her long dress and her expensive purse she looked..."_

_"Like a princess?" Louis smiled._

_"Yes, like a princess and she talked like a princess too and she became my best friend. She was the first person who was allowed to touch my hands and I don't know how but she made them stop hurting and now they don't hurt at all anymore. But you know even if they don't hurt anymore I never let anyone except your mommy and you touch them."_

_"That's because we're your family mama, we love you very very much and I'm happy your hands don't hurt anymore so you can be a knight again and protect us." Burying his head in her mama's chest little Louis did not understand everything she had told him but he knew one thing though : his mama was a fearless knight and his mommy was a princess and she always knew how to make both of them feel better and he felt very lucky and safe having them as his mommies._

_"Yes son, you and your mommy are my family and you always know how to make me feel strong so I can protect you." Kissing her son's forehead Jane felt strangely happy. She hadn't dreamed about Hoyt since she found out she was pregnant. Being pregnant, marrying Maura she finally had everything she ever wanted in life, she was finally embracing all the things she had forbid herself to even desire after Hoyt took her._

_Holding her son Jane realized that despite what he seemed to believe she wasn't the fearless knight who protected their family against dragons and other dangerous creatures, Maura was. She had saved her so many time, after Hoyt took her the first time, the second time, or when he almost killed them the last time or when she found she was pregnant and later when Dean threatened them._

_ People always pictured Jane as the protective fearless Detective who was capable of doing anything for her family but the truth was that Maura was the fearless knight in her shining armure, saving her every single day, giving her the strength to continue to hold on and she knew she would never be the the mother she was today without her._

**Alright guys, I hope you didn't find that chapter too boring. I know nothing major happened but I thought it was important for them to just talk about their fears and expectations and I wanted to slowly introduce Doyle's return.**

**Also, I remember promising you flash back picturing the past four years and I then forgot!**

**I only remembered while I started re reading the story looking for inspiration. I know I suck. I hope you enjoyed this one. I know comparing Hoyt to a dragon and Maura to a princess and Jane to a knight is lame but I figured the little guy is three so it might be the best way to explain it to him right?**

**I 'm going to try to write more flash backs from now on, I think they can be quite entertaining especially when included in chapters last this one that can appear to be less important chapters with less or not action.**

**On another note I had an idea : A challenge.**

**Send me a PM with a challenge for a one shot and I will write it. It can be a word, a quote or a crazy idea,or even a photomontage on tumblr, anything.**

**Maybe writing one shots and being challenged is going to help me with the small author's block that is bothering me.**

**One shots don't require as much work as a story like this one so it will allow me to post and keep you waiting between new chapters :)**


	54. Finding the perfect Mary Poppins

**Chapter 54:**

**Finding Mary Poppins :**

The next monday after an intense week end spent in bed with Maura making love and talking about their babies Jane found herself forced to go back to work with a precise list of things that needed to be done before the birth of the twins.

Knowing Louis was still at her in law's and that she wouldn't have to drive him to school Jane spent an extra half hour in bed marveling at her wife's beauty.

It was true what people said about pregnant women : they had that glow and permanent smile that made them incredibly desirable.

Around 8 am after spending half an hour watching Maura sleep Jane finally decided to drag herself out off bed.

"I love you." Jane whispered blowing a tender kiss on her wife's lips trying not to wake her up.

"Jane…What time is it?" Maura mumbled feeling Jane's breath on her face.

"It's almost 8 and I'm off to work. Just go back to sleep. I want you to stay in bed as long as you want okay. I will pick Louis up at school so he can meet our potential nannies okay?" Jane replied gently swiping a strain of Maura's face.

"No, I..I ned to get up and call the Agency mother recommended." Her throat dried and her stomach slightly bothered Maura realized that she had many things to do today and that there was no time to waste in bed.

"I'm already on that baby. I'm going to call the agency as soon as I arrive at the station so they can forward me some cvs and hopefully we'll have a few candidates to interview tonight. Do you trust me to select the best ones?" Seeing the bags under Maura's wife Jane was determined to do as much as she could to help her and had already prepared a to do list and was determined to spare her any unnecessary phone calls or hours reading Cvs.

"Yes I do. Now please go before I pull you in bed with me and tear your clothes off." Maura smiled flipping over on her side knowing that looking in her wife's eyes she wouldn't be able to let her go.

"Alright. I love you." Jane grinned kissing the back on Maura's neck.

"I love you too." Maura replied burying her head in her pillow determined to treat herself with another hour of sleep before getting up.

So around 8 am that morning Jane reluctantly dragged herself to the station two cups of coffee in her hand along with Frost's favorite pancakes from Angela's cafe.

"Someone looks happy today." Smiling as he saw Jane walking towards her desk Frost was happy to see that she appeared to be full of energy knowing how challenging the next seven months were going to be.

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm married to the most wonderful woman on this planet, we have a beautiful son and twins on the way not to mention Ma received some of that colombian coffee we like so much. Speaking of which this is for you." Jane replied handing him his coffee and pancakes.

"What did I do to deserve such a treat?" Narrowing his eyebrow Frost had a feeling that he either did something great without even noticing it or was about to do something great.

"Nothing specific. You've just been a great partner for the past 6 years especially since I got promoted and I just wanted you know that I appreciated it." Jane replied taking of her jacket tossing it on the back of her chair.

"You're welcome, but if you really want to show me your appreciation please find another Detective to replace you. I mean they promoted you to replace Korsak when he retired but they still haven't find anyone to replace and now thing are almost unmanageable. I have a family too Jane and I would love to see my son grow up." The truth was that Jane has been promoted almost 5 months ago and between her training and new responsibilities Frost had often find himself working alone with uniforms and it started to have repercussion on his personal life.

"I know. At first I thought that being promoted wouldn't keep me from the fields but it does and you're right you deserve a new partner. We didn't have the budget a few months ago but now that we do we should be able to find you someone in the next couple of weeks. I don't want you to be away from your family more than you should and besides I'm gonna be on maternity leave before we know it meaning that you would be alone, so don't worry I have the situation under control. It's actually on my list." Jane replied pointing out her note pad. As much as she hated the idea of having to share Frost she knew that he could not continue to work by himself and go in the fields with uniforms who were not trained for that. He needed a full time partner experienced and competent enough to help him investigate the crimes the came across the way she had been for the past six years.

"What's on that list exactly?" The truth was that Frost was a good soldier, he never complained, not when Korsak retired and he and Jane had to work their asses off, or when Jane got promoted a few weeks later and had to train for her new position and certainly not now that she was finally embracing her new responsibilities but he loved his family and could not bare the thought of neglecting her. Now that Maura was pregnant he knew that Jane was going to progressively step back until her maternity leave and trusted her to find the perfect partner.

"Well, where do I start? I'm having lunch with Maura's dad regarding the purchase of our next house to tell him that we're declining his offer hoping he's gonna be able to recommend a good realtor. We're also going to interview nannies later this afternoon not to mention that I have to find the perfect anniversary gift. Now that's a monday the way I like them." Jane grinned rolling her eyes. Despite trusting Frost with her life she decided not to talk about Doyle. He had a wife and a child and she wasn't willing to put him in danger for something that wasn't work related.

"Well good luck with all of that. I'm pretty sure that if Maura is nothing like Michelle you're going to visit at least 50 houses and interview 50 nannies until you find the perfect one and that she's gonna be mad if you don't find the most perfect gift." Smiling Frost remembered going through the same process when he and his wife found out she was pregnant and decided to buy a house. Michelle was a Doctor who just like Maura had been raised in a wealthy family and was particularly hard to satisfy so he could sympathize with Jane.

"You got that right. Michelle and Maura are very much alike. You know I don't think I'll have a problem interviewing as many nannies as necessary because just like Maura I want to find someone I can trust with my kids' lives so we'll interview as many as we need until we find our Mary Poppins. My only concern is her anniversary present . I don't mind walking the extra mile to make sure she gets the perfect gift but I don't know how I can ever top the gift she's giving me by carrying our twins you know. "

"You don't have to top anything Jane. I know Maura, all she wants is a gift that's personal, that proves how much you love and know her. If I were you I would worry about the house. I remember we visited 27 different houses before Michelle finally found one she liked."

"Yeah I remember that, that's the down side of marrying someone coming from money, they're used to the best and because they don't have the financial barrier to stop them they don't compromise. They can afford to be picky so they aim for the best."

"Exactly but Maura learned to compromise over the past few years right? I mean she declined her dad's offer to move into their mansion despite wanting to because she knew you wouldn't feel comfortable living there. I think this might not be as hard as you think."

"I know. It's true that Maura and I have different standards and she learned to compromise but you know but we agree on how we want to raise our kids and that's the most important thing. We both want them to grow up in a comfortable house where they can have their own bedroom, with a backyard and I would like to have my own man cave again and for Maura to have her office you know."

"Well that won't come cheap my friend but you married an Isles right? So I guess the financing won't be an issue."

"Well at first I said that I wanted to buy the house myself but Maura refused saying that we were married and that we were supposed to share everything and I realized that putting our money together was the wise thing to do if we wanted to buy the house of our dream."

"Wow, I can't believe how much you've grown since you and Maura got together …I'm sorry I'm getting all emotional. It's just that I'm so proud of you." Frost smiled faking whipping a tear of his eyes.

"Oh just shut up! It's easy for you to say cause you always wanted to get married and have kids but I did. Well it's not that I didn't want a family I just thought I wasn't good enough until I met Maura. She makes me feel good enough and worthy of everything she gives me every day you know." Truth be told Jane had changed a lot since Maura and her met even before they started dating. Thanks to Maura she had learned to compromise and to open up about her feelings and to accept help and thinking about it Jane knew she wouldn't have change for anyone else. Maura was the only person that had was she needed to convince her to change and to finally accept to start healing and look towards the future. 7 years after meeting for the first time they were now married with three children and Jane knew that trusting Maura was the best decision she ever made, that if she had pushed her away the way she pushed everyone else away she would have continued to drawn in that darkness Hoyt had pushed her in and that she might not be alive today.

"I know. Michelle makes me feel the same way. You and I are both very lucky. "

"Yes we are. Anyway, I better call the Agency. I promised Maura that we would have several candidates to interview tonight and I'm sure they're going to send me a lot of CVs to go through." Jane replied trying to appear confident despite not having the slightest idea on how to select a potential nanny.

"Well good luck with that."

"Thanks."

So that morning Jane called the agency Constance had recommended after using it to find the perfect nanny for Maura years ago. After talking to the director to give her their criteria Jane received 15 cv's by email and found herself with the difficult task of selecting at least three or four of them for an immediate interview. Looking at those CVs Jane realized that Constance had not exaggerated when she mentioned how selective the agency was : all those young lady had either years of experience with children or various degrees in education or child development not to mention solid referrals.

Unfortunately for the potential candidates degrees or good referrals didn't mean anything for Jane.

What she a family needed was someone responsible and reliable she could trust with her children's well being and more than anything she wanted someone young and fun not an old british nanny older than the Queen. She knew that Louis would never get along with someone that would not be able to follow him around and talk to him for hours or who would not be able to stimulate him intellectually the way Constance or Angela did.

After spending a good two hours going through the CVs' Jane realized that the best way to make an accurate opinion was to see them face to face. She knew she was a good judge of character and that her guts would tell her which of all those over qualified candidates were worthy of her trust.

So after consulting with Maura she decided to call them one by one and arranged interviews spread over the next few days hoping Maura would not be too tired. She knew that this had to be dealt with as soon as possible so they could focus on finding their new home.

Later that afternoon after having lunch with her father in law (without Maura) to ask him advice regarding the purchase of their future dream house and surfing the internet looking for anniversary gifts Jane left the station to pick up Louis at school. Actually Jane was grateful that they were not working on any case and that she was up to date with her paperwork allowing her to take care of non work related business during her working hours.

Around half past four Jane and Louis were driving home seeing each other for the first time since friday night.

"So how was your week end son?" Looking in her rear mirror Jane could see how excited Louis was to see Maura and that he had trouble sitting still in his car seat.

"It was awesome mama. Grand ma took me to the museum to see the dinosaurs and also to the aquarium but we didn't go to the park because it was cold but we made cookies. I saved some for you and mommy. I have them here in my bag." Louis replied pulling a small plastic containers full of home made cookies he had baked with Constance.

"That's very sweet of you, I'm sure your mommy is going to love them." Jane smiled knowing what a sweet tooth he was and how hard it must have been for him not to eat them all.

"What about your week end mama?Did you have fun with mommy?"

"Yes we did. Actually we talked about the twins a lot and decided we needed to change a few things."

"What things?"

"You mommy and I will explain to you in a few minutes alright? Please wait until I'm parked to unfasten your seat belt." Jane replied seeing the Louis was almost ready to bounce of his seat.

"I know mama." Louis replied nervously tapping his fingers on the window as Jane slowly parked their car in the driveway.

A couple of minutes later as soon as Jane was properly parked Louis immediately unfasten his seat belt, grabbed in bag, opened his door and bounced out of the car before rushing into the house followed by Jane.

"Mommy, mommy, I'm home!" Yelling as he literally barged into their house Louis immediately spotted his mommy reading a book in the living room reading and didn't waste a second before jumping on her lap.

"Hey sweetheart. God I missed you so much. Did you have fun with your grand parents?"

"It was super super great. You know today was my turn to feed the fishes in my class. I washed my hands but they still smell I think." Louis grinned waving his hands under Maura's nose.

"Well then you should go wash them again but before you go your mama and I have something to talk to you about." Maura replied looking at Jane who had settled next to them.

"Oh…Okay is something wrong with the babies?" Louis asked slightly panicked by the serious look on his mommies' faces.

"Don't worry the babies are fine. Actually that's what we needed to talk to you about. As you know I'm carrying two babies and it's possible that very very soon I won't be able to do as much things as I do now. Do you understand?"

"Yes. Grand ma explained that because you have two babies in your tummy you're going to be very tired and because you're going to get bigger it's going to be hard and painful for you to move and do all the things you like to do like play with me for example. But it's okay mommy I promise I will be quiet." Louis replied his head buried in his mommy's neck.

"Exactly, I'm going be very tired and I will need to rest a lot so your mama and I thought it would be a good idea to hire a nanny to help me take care of you until I give birth and later to help with the twins." Holding her son tight Maura was afraid that Louis was going to feel abandoned and was hoping he would give the nanny a chance before rejecting her completely.

"But I'm here mommy I can help you if you're tired."

"We know that sweetheart and we love you for it but you can't take care of everything and you need someone to look after you when I'm at work or if your mommy is too tired you know?" Jane replied seeing the desire to help in her son's eyes.

"Okay. Can I go wash my hands now please?" Louis asked bouncing off Maura's lap.

"Sure but there is a very nice nanny coming to meet us in a few minutes so hurry up if you want to have a snack before we meet her." Maura replied.

"No!I don't want to meet her!I don't like her!" Louis yelled tapping in foot on the floor before rushing into his room.

"Louis!" Maura mumbled looking at Jane in disbelief. Despite her best effort to explain the situation to him she still managed to make him mad but she couldn't see what she said wrong.

"I'll get him."

"Was I insensitive? I didn't mean to imply that he wasn't helpful." One of the things Maura had to learn when she became a mother was to be more diplomatic. She knew that adults around her especially Jane were used to the way she talked and that they didn't get offended by her lack of tact anymore but Louis was too young not to take things literally and see she didn't mean to be rude.

"I know baby but you know how he is. Ever since we told him he was gonna be a big brother he made it his personal mission to take care of you but I'm sure that once I talk to him and explain things he's gonna be excited to have a new friend. You know how he loves to meet new people." Jane replied snaking her arms around Maura from behind.

"No, I need to talk to him. I hurt his feelings, I should be the one comforting him." Maura replied trying to escape her wife's embrace.

"No offense babe but right now I think it's better if I'm the one to talk to him, one stubborn to another you know?" Pulling her wife back into her arms almost dragging her towards the couch Jane knew that despite being very much like Maura in many aspects of his personality Louis had inherited her stubbornness and didn't want her to be hurt if he chose to push her away again.

"Yes but I have been dealing with Rizzolis' legendary stubbornness and protectiveness for years so I should be okay." Turning around to face Jane Maura was grateful that she wanted to spare her a confrontation but she had spent almost every single living minute with Louis for the past four years and knew how to deal with him.

"Yes I know that but he's probably going to ask why I don't retire the way you did when he was born to help you take care of the twins and I would like to be the one to explain it to him."

"Oh right. Alright then. The first candidate should be here any minute. I will prepare some tea and coffee."

"Thanks. I love you." Jane replied blowing a tender kiss on her wife's forehead.

"I love you too. Now go. If he's anything like you he's probably heart broken." Maura replied pushing Jane away not without slapping her backside in the process.

Walking towards Louis' bedroom Jane was trying to figure out the best way to explain things to him. Up until now they had been lucky because Louis has always been able to understand things but she was wondering how to explain to him that she could not quit her job to take care of him and the twins.

Over the past couple of months she had tried her best to tighten their bond, to try to get passed her feelings of inadequacy but telling her son she was not wiling to make the same sacrifice Maura made four years ago was breaking her heart.

"Hey there. Can I come in?" Jane asked leaning against his bedroom door.

"Yes. Mama, I'm sorry I yelled but I don't understand. I can take care of mommy and the babies." Sitting on his bed trying to wash his hands with antibacterial wipes Louis looked confused. Being a big brother wasn't an easy task and had forced him to grow up a little bit faster and had forced his mothers to start treating him like a grown up.

"I know you can take care of your mommy and the twins but who's going to take care of you?" Jane replied as she sat next to him.

"I can take care of myself mama. I'm big enough now." Louis replied clenching his first on his lap.

"No you're not. Look baby, you're the best son your mommy and I could have ever dreamed of having. You're brave, caring, loving but you're also stubborn like me. I know you want to help and trust me you will but you're not superman and neither are your mommy and I that's why we need help."

"I understand that you have to go to work and that two babies is a lot of work too and I don't want mommy to be tired because she's taking care of the babies by herself when I'm at school but why a stranger? We can ask nana, grand ma or even grand pa to take care of the babies."

"Yes we can and trust me they're going to babysit from time to time but they have lives of their own and they can not take care of you and and the babies every day. What you said is true though. I have to work and if your mommy doesn't get help and has to take of everything by herself she's going to be very tired that's why we're looking for a nanny."

"But I don't trust a stranger to take care of the babies."

"You know what? Me neither but it's like when you started school. We met with the headmaster and your teacher and we started trusting them. That's why we're meeting with several young women today to decide which one we can trust and I'm gonna need your help with that." Jane replied knowing that what he needed was to feel needed and that helping them choose the perfect nanny for him and the twins would serve that purpose perfectly.

"You need my help?" Louis mumbled his face suddenly lightening up like a christmas tree.

"Of course. This nanny is not only going to take care of the babies but of you as well and it won't work if you don't trust her. So once we spoke to them I want you to tell us what you think of them. You think I can do that? You think you can help me find the perfect nanny for you guys?"

"Yes mama. I'm a big boy now I can help!" Louis replied jumping on Jane's lap in excitement .

"Good, now come on your mommy is waiting for us." Jane replied standing up holding him in her arms.

When Jane and Louis arrived in the living room they were surprised to see Maura talking to a lady in her mid thirties, wearing a black suit and a white shirt, a pair of red glasses and a pony tail.

"Jane, Louis, please me Andrea, she's the first candidate we arranged to meet tonight." Maura replied looking at Jane not knowing if she had managed to explained things to Louis.

"Hi. I'm Sergent Detective Jane Isles, it's very nice to meet you. Did you find the house easily?" Jane said shaking the young woman's hand still carrying Louis in her arms.

"Nice to meet you, don't worry my car is equipped with a good navigation system so I had no trouble getting here. You must be Louis, it's very nice to meet you young man." Andrea said offering her hand to Louis.

"Yes, I'm Louis Isles, it's nice to meet you." Louis shyly replied shaking her hand as strongly as he could.

"Well now that every one has been introduced I propose we settle in the living room." Maura offered guiding the little group toward the living room.

"Yes mommy, I'm sorry for yelling but mama explained everything to me and I understand now. Are you mad at me mommy?" Louis pouted opening his arms towards her.

"Of course not. Come on let's sit down. Jane would you get us something to drink?Andrea do you want some tea?Coffee?" Maura offered sitting on the couch Louis on her lap.

"Just some water please. Thank you." Andrea replied sitting in the large chair in front of Louis and Maura as straight as she could.

"Alright, a glass of water and two teas coming right up." Jane replied.

"Oh mama wait wait! I have cookies I made with grand ma this week end. Do you want to taste one Miss?"

"Yes, I would like that very much thank you."

"Cookies with chocolate chips coming right up." Jane replied smiling.

"Louis was with my parents this week end." Maura explained nervously rubbing Louis' back.

"Your parents live in Boston?"

"Yes they actually split their time between Boston and New-York but they're flying to France at the end of the week and won't be back until Christmas and it was important for them to spend time with Louis before they left."

"I agree. A month without seeing your grand parents is going to be hard but I'm sure they will call you right?"

"Yes. When grand ma and grand pa are away they always call me on mommy's computer and I can even see them on the screen you know."

"Louis and my mother Skype almost daily when they're away. Thank you love." Maura replied looking up at Jane as she joined them with the teas and cookies.

"I have family that lives out of state and part of my family from my mother's side lives in canada so I know what a great invention Skype is, trust me. " Andrea replied taking a sip at her tea and a bite at Louis' home made cookies.

"Oh, you're half canadian? Don't worry as long as you don't talk with that weird accent don't worry we won't hold it against you." Jane replied winking at Louis knowing he would get the joke.

"Jane!I can't believe you would say something like that. I apologize for my wife's sense of humor. We have nothing against Canadians." Maura apologized sending a killer look at her wife.

"It's alright I know your wife didn't mean anything by it. It's like when someone french is teasing a belgian citizen." Andrea smiled.

"Yes exactly, so tell me more about yourself." Maura replied relieved that Andrea wasn't impressed by Jane's bad sense of humor.

So for the next two hours Jane, Maura and Louis interviewed Andrea and two other candidates taking notes and comments on their files. Sitting on Maura's lap Louis despite being tired after his week end and his day at school tried his best to remain focus and actually asked more question than his mommies. After Jane had asked him to help her and Maura to choose the most trustworthy nanny Louis had started to this things in a different way and knew what a big responsibility it was and was eager to help his mommies as best as he could. Jane and Maura on the other hand were relieved to see that their on had come around and was rather interested to know as much as he could about the potential nannies. Looking at their son giving the candidates three consecutive tours of their house Jane and Maura realized that the way they had started to involve him was definitely the way to help him adjust to the new situation without making him feel left appart and they had a feeling that things could only go in the right direction.

**Alright guys, another long chapter...I realize now that the more time I take to write the longer the chapters are :)**

**I wanted to thank you for the challenges you sent me but unfortunately none of them were suitable for a simple one shot. The suggestions I received would make great multiple chapters stories though, so I'll keep them in a corner of my brain for later!**  
><strong>Please do continue to send me your ideas if you want me to write one shots!<strong>

**I hope you enjoyed that chapter. I figured it was important for Jane to share a conversation with Frost. **I knew that having someone who was married with a child she could talk to was important for Jane and because I love Frost I figured he could be her confident during Maura's pregnancy the way he already was during her own. **I'm sorry but I really don't like Frankie and I have no intention of giving him a storyline and we all know Tommy is not the kind of guy to settle down. **

**Next chapter should be fun, Maura's hormones are starting to kick in and she's a bit jealous...Well no she's hysterical :)**


	55. Unexpected visit

**Chapter 55 :**

**Unexpected visit :**

Three months had passed since Maura and Jane had started interviewing potential nannies and Maura was now 20 weeks pregnant.

After meeting over a dozens qualified candidates Maura, Jane and Louis had finally found their Mary Poppins, that one in a million lady who was going be in charge of helping raise Louis and the twins .

The lucky lady was Kathy, and despite being only 23 year old she already possessed several years of experience and solid recommendations from her previous employers.

Even if choosing Kathy came as an evidence for Jane and Louis Maura was a bit reluctant to hire someone with hadn't acquired any degree in early childhood development or at least adequate training in that field but faced with Jane and Louis' insistence to at least give her a change she found herself with no other choice but to comply with their desire.

If the choice to hire Kathy became obvious during her first interview the Isles family still had to sit through almost a week of talking to every single applicant asking them the same questions over and over.

During five excruciating evenings little Louis instead of playing with his mommy quietly sat and listened to every candidate explain their motivations for applying for this position using their most eloquent vocabulary to expose the qualities and knowledge they would bring to their family .

Surprisingly little Louis sat there for hours listening to the same broken record before introducing himself over and over and after seeing a number of candidates he finally found in Kathy the woman he wanted to take care of him and help with the twins.

From the first minute he met her Louis found himself charmed by Kathy's long blond hair and her big blue eyes but what mattered the most to him was that she talked to him like a growing up instead of treating him like a toddler the way the other candidates did.

Also Jane whom people always considered to be the hardest one to convince immediately clicked with the young girl for multiple reasons : she grew up in Jane's old neighborhood, had frequented the same schools, had studied with the same teachers and had been raised in the same social class with the same moral and familial values but most importantly looking at her interact with Louis Jane felt she could trust her, that this would more than a job for her, that she genuinely loved children. She couldn't explain it, it was just a gut feeling.

So after a week of pleading their cause with passion Louis and Jane finally got their wishes and Kathy was finally offered the position and was able to move in with the little family a week later.

It was now the middle of january and after a tremulous first month things were now running smoothly and a nice routine had settled.

Kathy who was well aware that Maura was the one she was going to spend the more time with made tremendous efforts to comply with all her demands and after feeling on trial for the first month was now feeling part of the family.

Despite her reluctance to hire Kathy Maura was now completely charmed by the young woman and trusted her completely to do all the things that were painful to her like giving Louis his bath or playing with him when he was in one of his good days and started running around the house making it impossible for her to follow him.

Observing Louis and Kathy interact Maura slowly realized that they were all extremely lucky to have her, that she was kind, compassionate but that most importantly she was able to canalize Louis' overwhelming energy allowing her to rest in a peaceful home.

One of Jane and Maura's main concern was that Louis might start feeling neglected after the birth of the twins but never excepted him to be unhappy and frustrated before the birth.

Despite being only 20 weeks pregnant Maura had already gained almost 25 pounds and suffered from extreme back pain and fatigue and despite seeing a professional acupuncturist twice a week had to stay in bed or on the couch as much as possible relying on Kathy and Jane to take care of Louis.

For the past four years Louis and Maura had build a strong relationship and had settled in a nice routine together, going to the park, to the museum or to Louis' favorite ice cream shop but now that Maura had trouble walking around without feeling nauseous and exhausted Louis had found himself forced to do all those things they cherished with either Jane and Kathy and he didn't like it and had decided to express his frustration by acting out.

He started talking back to Jane and Kathy, refusing to take his bath or brush his teeth or running around the house screaming making it hard for Maura to rest or for Jane to relax after work.

Despite loving his siblings very much and understanding that Maura was in pain he wanted his mommy back, he wanted to be able to do all the things they used to love doing together instead of just lying in bed cuddling or reading books. Louis was an active little boy and could not stand staying indoors.

Obviously the situation wasn't easy for Maura to cope with, not only she was stuck in bed most part of the day but she was watching her son suffering and felt completely powerless. She obviously tried to get out off bed more, to take me out but had found herself out of breath or unable to walk after a few minutes.

The only activities the two of them could share that didn't compromise her health were quiet indoors activities like reading, drawing or watching tv and for a little guy as active as Louis it was almost like being in jail.

Luckily for Louis he was surrounded by people who loved him and who were willing to spend time with him. Constance for instance would take him to the museum every saturday while Angela would come to the house and teach him her best recipes on saturdays . Unfortunately despite his grand parents or uncles ' best efforts to distract and entertain him the only thing that Louis wanted was to spend time with Maura . The only thing that seemed to have caught Louis' interest was the family next project : finding the perfect house to welcome their expanding family.

Because Jane and Maura made sure to bring him to almost every viewing he felt involved and particularly proud that they consulted him after each visit asking him if he liked the house or not. After watching his mommy being in pain all the time and feeling powerless he finally felt useful by helping his them pick the perfect home for them and that his opinion mattered.

Spending their evenings or week ends traveling all around the city was particularly challenging for Maura who had trouble walking without help. Luckily for her after only a couple of weeks and no less than 16 visits the little family had finally found the house of their dreams. It was a large house only a few blocks from Louis' school and his favorite park, it had high ceilings and wooden floors in every room, 5 bedrooms so each child and Kathy could have their own, an office for Maura but most importantly a large backward for Louis, the twins and Jo friday not to mention a small dependance next to the garage that could easily be rearranged into a man cave for Jane.

After visiting the house only one time with Kathy Louis, Jane and Maura decided to make an offer and were now waiting for the current family to come back from their vacations to see if they accepted it or not.

Luckily for them the little family both Maura and Jane knew that there was no reason for their offer to be rejected and they were confident that they would be able to move in really soon.

Finally having found the house of their dreams came as a blessing for Maura who on top of being in constant pain and having to worry about Louis' marginal behavior was also nervous about the ultrasound and amniocentesis that was scheduled a few days later.

Despite being eager to finally to find out the sex of her babies Maura couldn't help but worrying about them suffering from any of the diseases commonly found in late life pregnancies. Luckily for her Maura was surrounded by her loving wife, friends and family who stopped at nothing to cheer her up and to try to entertain her while she was stuck in bed.

Today was tuesday and Jane, Maura, Kathy were having dinner trying to remain confident and cheerful as not to upset Louis who had no idea what an amniocentesis was and who was over excited to finally find out the sex of the babies.

Despite being hurt by having to witness his mommy in pain and having to spend more time with Kathy than he did with her Louis was still over excited to be a big brother and would spend long periods of time in bed with Maura, wandering his hands on her belly trying to feel the babies kick.

"Mommy, is it okay if I give you my ideas for the babies' names?" Sitting at his usual spot at the end of the table Kathy on his left and Maura and Jane on his right little Louis could feel that something was wrong but had learned not to ask too much questions. As much as he wanted to be involved he finally realized that despite being the big brother some things were out of his reach and had learned not to put his nose where Jane and Maura didn't want it.

"Sure, but remember that we won't know if I'm carrying two boys or two girls or one of each until friday, right?" Despite worrying sick about the ultrasound and amniocentesis Maura was trying to enjoy her pregnancy as much as possible and picking names for the babies was definitely something that cheered her up.

"It's okay mommy I have ideas for girls and boys but I think I want to wait until I'm sure of the one I prefer, is it okay?"

"Absolutely." Maura replied clenching her teeth as she felt one of the baby kicking her violently.

"Well Louis if you're done here I think it's time for you to go to bed?" Kathy said reading the pain on Maura's face. Over the past two months she had witnessed Maura changing from being an active woman to a 20 weeks old pregnant mother who could barely get out off bed or stand on her feet for more than a few minutes at the time and she had learned to read the pain and distress on her face and to distract Louis whenever she wasn't feeling well.

"Okay. It's okay mommy if you can't read me my story tonight, I like it when Kathy makes funny voices." Louis replied bouncing off his chair before walking towards Maura .

"I will read you one tomorrow I promise. I'm just a bit tired tonight, do you forgive me?" Maura replied faking a smile through grinned teeth.

"Yes mommy. I'm sorry I'm angry a lot because you can't spend as much time with me. I know the babies are hurting your belly and your back and that you're tried. I promise to be nice now." Louis mumbled rushing into his mommy's arms scared that he was somehow because of his attitude responsible for his mommy's pain.

"Oh I know sweetheart and I'm sorry. Trust me if I could take my bike and go on a ride to the park with I would but I can't but don't worry I won't be pregnant for ever and I promise you that things should be back to normal very soon." Maura replied kissing the top of his head.

"It's okay mommy. Good night mommy. Good night mama." Louis replied kissing Maura's belly before running to Jane to give her the warmest hug.

"Good night son. I will let Kathy read you your story and I will come visit you afterwards alright?"

"Okay mama. Kathy can you read me the one with the dragon and the princess please?" Louis pouted reaching for Kathy's hand as they walked together towards his bedroom.

Watching Louis and Kathy walk away Maura was finally able to let a deep, painful sight slip as she continued to feel the babies moving and kicking forcing her to grab Jane's had for support.

"Come on baby, just breath…" Sitting in the chair next to Maura Jane witnessed her wife suffering unable to do more than allowing her to squeeze her hand as hard as she could while gently rubbing her lower back.

Ever since she had started to feel the babies moving and kicking about a month ago Maura had been in constant pain. She not only had gained substantial weight causing chronic back pain but had continued to suffered from violence nauseas.

Looking back at her own pregnancy Jane remembered how painful it was for her to handle Louis' kicks and every time he would reposition himself inside her wombs but it was nothing to compared to what Maura was going through.

Unable to bring any physical relief to her wife Jane had nonetheless rearranged her working schedule in order to be home early everyday to help Kathy with Louis and the housework. She knew that the only thing she could do to help Maura was making sure that she didn't worry about Louis feeling neglected or the laundry done incorrectly or the fridge being empty. She loved Maura more than life itself but all she could do was take care of the house and their son and lie in bed at night and hold her through the pain and she hated it.

Despite knowing she was doing everything she was supposed to Jane could not help but feeling guilty and wishing she could do something more like finding Paddy Doyle for instance.

Over the past three months Jane had used every CI, every contact she had to try to send messages to Paddy Doyle but had yet to receive a reply.

For the past four years Doyle had sent gifts and letters to them and both Maura and Jane had always assumed that he wasn't far, that he was watching them from a distance but maybe they were wrong.

Maybe Doyle had left the state or even the country and the closer the amniocentesis the more anxious Maura was. As a doctor she knew that this procedure would only allow her OBGYN to diagnose chromosomal abnormalities like down syndrome or other form of trisomy and fetal infections but that genetic diseases like diabetes or cancer would not be diagnosed and therefore had become obsessed with the idea of finding Doyle and ask him to provide a complete family medical history that would at least bring her some peace of mind.

Unfortunately despite Jane's best efforts Paddy Doyle and her biological other Hope were still had large and Maura had nothing to hang on to or to reassure her before the amniocentesis.

"I'm alright, I think the babies are repositioning themselves, it shouldn't last more than a few seconds." Tightening her grips around Jane's fingers Maura was trying to keep a relatively strong posture knowing how powerless Jane felt.

"I know, god knows Louis was moving and kicking a lot but I can't imagine how painful it must for you to handle twice as much pain as I did. You're the bravest woman I know, I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks but I don't feel brave at all. You know how much I love our twins but if I had to do it again I would chose IVF with a single embryon implantation. I knew carrying twin would be hard but I didn't except it to be that painful. Oh Jane, I still have four months and I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle it." Maura panted slowly releasing her grip over Jane's hand as she felt the babies finally calming down.

"I didn't expect it to be so hard either but you can do it. I have faith in you babe and besides, you're not in this alone. I'm going to continue to accommodate my schedule to be home early so you don't have to worry about Louis or anything else and in about a month I will be able to take my maternity leave alright?" Pulling Maura against her Jane was literally counting the days until her maternity leave and wished that she could take it earlier unfortunately she could. Actually because the new detective she had hired to replace her was still on training she could not take an unpaid leave of absence before her official maternity leave.

Luckily until then she trusted Kathy, Constance and her mother to take care of her knowing that she might actually feel more comfortable confiding in them.

"I know, I know. Would you help me move to the couch please? There is a rerun of Casablanca tonight and Kathy has never seen it and I promised her we would watch it and I would like to rest for a little while before."

"And I will be watching the game in my man cave in the mean time. Now come on lean on me." Jane replied snaking Maura's arm around her neck helping her to slowly move towards the couch.

Over the past two months Jane had found herself amazed by how close Kathy and Maura had gotten. At first Maura was more than reluctant to hire but now the two women were really closed and often enjoyed movies night or online shopping spree together and Jane was happy to see that her the two had become friends.

As she was helping Maura settle down on the couch, elevating her feet with a couple of cousins Jane knew that she would have at least an hour before having to go check on Louis and that she could use this opportunity to massage Maura's feet knowing how much she enjoyed it. Unfortunately as she was taking off Maura's socks Jane suddenly heard someone knocking on their door.

"Are we expecting someone?" Maura mumbled looking towards the door.

"No, we're not. It's probably Ma checking up on you. Just lie down and relax." Kissing Maura's forehead pulling a blanket up to her chest Jane had a feeling that it wasn't Angela, that her mother would not knock, that she would just barge in unannounced.

Walking towards the door rubbing her face with both hands Jane was praying to be bothered by Frost and his new partner. All she wanted tonight was to watch the game, drink a couple of beers and then climb in bed next to her wife hoping they would both be able to catch a good night of sleep.

Slowly opening the door trying to keep her eyes opened Jane didn't react when she saw him in front of her his usual smile greeting her.

"Detective, or should I say Sergeant Detective, it's been a long time." His hands shoved in his pocket standing as straight as he could possibly be was Paddy Doyle, Maura's estranged father.

"Doyle, what in hell are you doing here?" Taking a step towards him as she slightly close the door behind her as to keep Maura from hearing them talk Jane could barely believe her eyes : after three months of looking for him Paddy was finally here, once again risking his life to see his daughter.

"Well I heard that you were looking for me so here I am. I'm sorry I couldn't come earlier but Maura's mom and I were out of the country visiting some friends she has in central America. Is there anything I can do for you or…"

"You don't know, do you?" Standing in front of Doyle seeing the disbelief in his eyes Jane realized that he had no idea that Maura was pregnant.

"What ever you believe I should know I'm sorry but I don't. Ever since I shut down my operations I can not trust anyone and everything I have learned about your lives for the past four years I have learned it by observing you and as I said we were out of the country." Doyle explained feeling his heart hammering his chest hoping nothing had happened to Maura.

"Don't worry nothing bad has happen. Please come in and see for yourself." Opening the door Jane suddenly dropped her guards and remembered what Doyle sacrificed by shutting down his operations to protect Maura.

When he was the boss of one of the most powerful mob family in Boston he was constantly on the run but he at least had guards and loyal people to have his back and she knew how much he enjoyed that level of power for so many years and was grateful that he was willing to sacrifice all that to protect his daughter. Now he was alone to protect Maura's mom and had to live like a fugitive that had no one to turn to and she was happy to bring some joy in his and Hope's lives by telling them Maura was pregnant.

Stepping into the house Doyle immediately remembered the last time her was here four years ago. One of his men had just informed him that Dean had divulged his knowledge regarding his affiliation with Maura to who ever wanted to listen and he had come to their home to try to warn them.

Walking towards the living room Doyle immediately froze as he saw Maura lying on the couch, her feet elevated and her eyes closed.

"Doyle, what are you doing here?" Maura mumbled almost jumping of her skin as she opened her eyes to see her biological father standing a few feet from her.

"I…I heard you wanted to see me. Oh my God Maura you're pregnant." Instinctively taking a step towards Maura Doyle was unable to hold his tears as he saw Maura growing belly.

"Yes. I'm twenty weeks pregnant with twins. Wait a minute, you didn't know?" Decrypting the guanine surprise and emotion in Doyle's eyes Maura realized that he didn't know she was pregnant and was actually surprised.

"No, I didn't. As I told Jane your mother and I have been visiting some friends she has in central America and I lost all my informants when I left. Oh my God Maura, twins…That is probably going to make your mother very happy. May I sit?" Doyle shyly asked unable to keep his eyes off her.

"Yes please. Yes my mother is indeed very happy and so is my father." Slightly moving up to free some place of Doyle to sleep Maura couldn't help but correcting him on his use of the words mother and father.

"Speaking of Louis. I'm going to put him to bed and make sure Kathy stays in her room. " Jane suddenly said before walking away unwilling to disturb Maura and Doyle's conversation.

"I'm sorry Maura. I mean Hope will be thrilled to learn that you're having twins because they actually run in her family. Her mother had a twin brother and sister who lives in Texas had twins , two little girls who are a little older than you. Who's Kathy if I may ask?"

"Kathy is our nanny. We hire her about two months to help with Louis and with the twins. Jane is going to take her maternity leave in a month but we're still going to need help especially since I'm stuck in bed all day."

"Are you in pain?"

"Yes. I'm only 20 weeks pregnant but I gained 25 pounds already which is causing chronic back pain and fatigue not to mentionI still suffer from daily nauseas. Kathy came as a blessing, Louis loves her."

"God bless her then. I'm happy you're getting the help you need. I know how painful it was for Hope when she was carrying you. She also had chronic back pain and she was also unable to leave our bed during the last trimester. I'm sure the fact that you're older than she was and carrying twins must make things worse."

"Yes it does. I'm in perfect health but my age is certainly not advantage but like you said I'm very luckily. My mother and Jane's mother visit me almost daily and our friends are always willing to do everything they can to help us. Actually they're spare no expense to try to entertain me and it feels really good."

"I'm glad you're surrounded by very supportive people especially since Louis seems to be the most active child on the planet. I bet he gets that from Jane." Over the past four years Doyle as Jane and Maura had expected often followed them to the park and was able to see how full of life and also how popular his grand son was and he was secretly hoping he could meet him again but knew better than to ask.

"Louis is…he's the most adorable child in the world. He's gentle, smart, caring but yes he's very very hard to manage and that's why we hired Kathy. We hired her because we know how active he is and how unhappy he is when he can't go to the park or to do all those activities he enjoys so much. He's a very loving little boy but he requires a lot of time and attention."

"Then it was a good idea to hire someone to take care of him. I can only imagine how overwhelming raising twins is going to be for you even with your mother and mother in law helping out and it would be a shame if he felt neglected and started to resent his siblings for it." Doyle nodded.

"Exactly. Actually he already started acting out a little bit because I can't go out or play with him as I used to but luckily for us he's completely in love with the twins. He was actually present when I had my first ultrasound and was convinced I was carrying twins and made it his personal mission to find the perfect names for them. He's going to be a great big brother. I have no doubt about that. He sees the kind of relationship Jane has with her brothers and wants to the same thing."

"I'm glad. He sounds like a very mature little boy and if he's anything like Jane I'm sure that after a period of adaptation he's going to love to protect and take care of them."

"Yes. Anyway if I asked Jane to look for you is because I need your help." Taking a deep breath Maura was finally able to talk to him about her desire to find out about their family medical history.

Sitting next to his daughter Paddy Doyle listened to her express her doubt and fears regarding possible genetic disease such as cancer or diabetes.

Carefully listening to her Doyle realized that he would easily be able to give Maura some answers regarding his own family but that he actually knew nothing about Hope's family medical history and was hoping she could either remember or contact them and get some answers to finally bring the peace of mind Maura desperately needed to enjoy the rest of her pregnancy.

Sitting next to her biological father Maura couldn't help but noticing how focused her was and how determined he seemed to help her and was relieved knowing that she was probably going to have the answers she had been desperately looking for ever since she got pregnant.

Also despite knowing how dangerous it was Maura couldn't help but remembering Doyle's letter : four years ago before leaving town he had promised her that once things would calm down he would introduce her to Hope and she was determined to call him on his promise.

**Alright guys…Here's the new chapter. I decided to jump a few months because I realized that only a few were interested by the whole " search for Mary Poppins" and I figured the search for their house would probably bore you as well.**

**So I decided to bring Doyle back…You knew I was going to since Maura got pregnant and I hope you liked the way I brought him back.**

**Speaking of Hope, do you want her to make an appearance? How do you picture her? ****Will she be able to bring Maura the information she needs?Will she be able to have a relationship with her and her grand children? How is Constance going to react to the news? Will she feel threatened?**

**So many questions, so many possibilities…**

**PS : Since I started taking my time to write the chapters are longer but are they better? Does taking my time help with my grammar?**

**Thanks**

**Feel free to drop me a quick review with feedback and suggestions :)**


	56. Closure

**Alright guys, just a friendly advice : grab your tissues.**

**Chapter 55 :**

**Closure :**

An hour later after catching up with his daughter Paddy Doyle decided it was time to let her rest.

Seeing the emotional and physical pain in Maura's eyes he was he secretly hoped that the information he was going to provide her with would at least bring her some peace of mind allowing her to fully focus on her health.

Listening to Maura telling him everything about Louis and the twins Paddy Doyle's unbreakable heart shattered a little bit he realized that he could would never have a normal relationship with his grand children, that despite his desire to do so he would never be able to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas or birthdays with them.

For the past 4 and half years Doyle and Maura's biological mother Hope had managed to stay under the radar but he knew that the FBI had not given up on finding and bringing him to justice and that he was risking his freedom and possibly his life by visiting them tonight.

The only positive aspect of this situation was that 4 years on the run had convinced him that it was finally time reunite Maura with her biological mother and that after forty years of witnessing Hope suffering he was hoping to finally make things right.

Unfortunately after forty years in this business he knew that bringing Hope into the light would raise suspicion and that the FBI would intensify the search for him and that visiting his family even discreetly would not possible anymore.

But it didn't matter to him, all he wanted was to finally make things right for Hope and Maura, to reunite them so they could finally get to know each and maybe form a solid bond so the woman that he had loved for the past 40 could finally see her grand children grow up for real not through pictures or videos taken from a distance.

Surprisingly Maura didn't mention Hope once during their hour long conversation. She obviously remembered Doyle's promise but knew that this was not the time, that she needed to focus on getting her family's medical history and that afterwards she could call him on that promise.

Actually Maura was afraid of not being not be able to deal with the excitement of finally meeting her biological mother or with the disappointment if Doyle decided not to keep his promise.

So that night Maura carefully avoided the subject hoping that once the ultrasound and the amniocentesis would be behind her she would feel physically and emotionally stronger and that she would be perfectly capable or handling an eventual reunion with Hope.

That night Maura and Jane went to bed slightly relieved that Doyle and Hope were in town.

As much as she hated it Jane had no choice but to admit and accept the fact that there was things she could not provide and to allow Doyle in their lives for a little while. Despite being reluctant to let him in their lives knowing how dangerous this situation could become if one of his old enemies or the FBI learned about his presence Jane knew she did not have the choice, that her wife needed him.

Actually Jane was secretly hoping that Maura could finally meet Hope safely and maybe fill the blanks that had been tearing her heart apart ever since she was a little girl. Despite the fact that her relationship with Constance had gotten much better over the past five years but Jane knew that Maura would always have an empty space in her heart, in her soul that only Hope could fill.

Unfortunately even if she suspected that if the FBI would only question Hope without charging her with any crime Doyle's enemies on the other hand might try to get to Doyle by hurting her family to make sure he would never come back in the business and claim his old kingdom back.

Unfortunately Jane knew that Maura needed this meeting and this relationship and somehow had a feeling that Doyle would not hesitate to sacrifice himself to finally put an end to forty years of madness and give his family the safety and lives they deserved.

"So what did he tell you?" Jane asked climbing in bed next to Maura who was lying on her back her feet slightly elevated by two large pillows .

"He said that he would do is very best to gather the information we need and that my…Hope would do the same. He should be contacting us again in a few days." For the first time a month Maura was able to lie down next to Jane without being in excruciating pain. Meeting Doyle and talking to him had somehow provided enough comfort and relief to make the physical suffering of her pregnancy disappear.

"That's good. See I told you that everything would be alright. In just a couple of days we're finally gonna find out the gender of our twins and I'm sure the amniocentesis will reveal that they're both in perfect health and then Doyle is going to bring your family's medical history so you can finally stop worrying and rest." Kissing her wife's forehead as she gently started to massage her imposing belly Jane was relieved to see that smile on her face she hadn't seen since Maura's pregnancy had become physically challenging.

"Yes. I think things should be better very soon. Speaking of which I haven't reminded him about promise, do you still he's going to keep his word?"

"I think so. He never let you down until now and I think he wants to make things right for both of you." Jane replied unwilling to bother her with the eventual risks such a meeting would possibly bring. All she wanted was for Maura to meet Hope without having to worry about the danger, she was the Sergeant Detective, she'd find a way to protect her family.

"I certainly hope so but I want to talk to my mother about it. As eager as I am to finally meet my biological mother Constance is my mother, she's the woman who raised and loved me for the past forty years and who had made such tremendous efforts to be a bigger part of my life. Not to mention she's a fantastic grand mother. I don't want to hurt her feelings you know." Over the past five years the relationship between Maura and Constance went being estranged to extremely strong. Maybe becoming a grand mother helped Constance realize and face the mistakes she had made or maybe becoming a mother triggered something in Maura but they both decided to work on their relationship and Maura was not willing to compromise what took them years to build just to meet Hope.

"I think that's a good idea. She knows how much you love her and that you consider her as your real mother but I think that talking to her and preparing her for an eventual meeting with Hope is the wisest thing to do but don't worry too much about it, your mother is a confident woman and I'm sure she won't feel threatened."

"I hope so Jane, I really do. I love her with all my heart but I have always had this visceral need to find out where I came from. You know it's funny how people always tell me how much we look like each other physically but also how similar we are in the way we talk, walk, or express ourselves in general. I know that environmental factors are as much if not more important than DNA to determine one's personality but Doyle always said that I was very much like Hope, that I had her intelligence, her passion and I think that I need to go what I inherited from her. "

"I know and this desire is perfectly normal and I promise you I will be by your side every step of the way but right it's time to get some rest. I have a big day ahead of me and I'm sure you could use some sleep too." Jane replied pulling up the covers making sure that Maura was perfectly comfortable.

"You're right. Good night. I love you." Maura replied pressing her lips against hers.

"I love you too baby."

The next morning after hearing Jane leave for work and Kathy with Louis to drop him off at school Maura managed to wake up and call her mother knowing they would have the house for themselves so they could talk.

Around nine o clock just as Maura was finally dressed Constance arrived to the house her hands full of shopping bags.

"Maura darling what are you doing on your feet?" Shouting as dropped the shopping bags on the couch Constance was determined to make sure that Maura followed her doctor's orders and that she would not put herself or the twins at harm by overworking herself.

"I'm making us tea mother. Angela brought those delicious vanilla chocolate chips cookies yesterday and I thought you would want to taste them." Maura replied pouring some tea in the two large mugs in front of her.

"I'm pretty sure she baked them for your son darling, now please go lay down I will carry this." Constance replied pointing the piece of furniture that had become Maura's best friend over the past month.

"Of course not, I mean yes they are Louis' favorite but he knows I have cravings and that…"

"And that complaining about you eating his favorites cookies would be a mistake if he cherishes his life?" Battling her eyelashes Constance was openly making fun of her daughter's new behavior. She knew how in control of her emotions and her diet Maura usually was and find it particularly entertaining to watch her lose some of that control.

"Am I that awful?" Maura replied holding her back she slowly walked towards the couch.

"Yes darling, when it comes to your cravings and mood swings you can be rather hard to handle, but we all know that none of this is your fault and that you can not control yourself. Everything will be forgotten as soon as the twins decide to grace us with their presence. Speaking of my grand children how are they today?" Constance asked reaching out for Maura's belly hoping to feel them kick or move.

"The twins are fine, the three of us slept unexpectedly well last night and I they have been behaving rather well this morning."

"I'm glad to hear that darling. Did do something special last night? Oh let me guess you tried that body cream I brought you from New York last week?" Over the past five months Angela and Constance had shopped in a multitude of different stores in Boston, New-York or even online to make sure Maura had everything that would help her feel more comfortable. They had bought soaps, body creams, shampoos that were supposed to have relaxing properties, special pillows or even custom made sleepers that would allow her swollen feet to breath without being constricted.

"Yes mother, Jane applies the cream on my belly every night and it helps me relax but that's not what helped me sleep last night. " Pausing for a moment taking a deep breath Maura was trying to find the most appropriate words to describe the situation without hurting her mother's feelings.

"What did then?" Constance asked narrowing her eyes brows thinking that she could be talking about sex, that she was in no condition to engage in any kind of physical activity.

"Well, as you know I have an appointment with my OBGYN on friday for an ultrasound and also an amniocentesis. As you know this procedure is mainly used to diagnose possible fetal malformations such as dawn syndrome or any other form of trisomy. Unfortunately this procedure can not reveal eventual genetic diseases such as cancer, diabetes or even asthma."

"Yes I know. Unfortunately there no way of knowing if your child will ever suffer from any of those diseases but that's what being a parent is all about darling. No matter how much you love your children you won't always be able to protect them or anticipate every bad thing that will eventually happen to them. I know that as a Doctor you would love to be able to screen them for every possible disease in the book but you can't but don't worry about it I'm sure the twins are going to be just fine." Having raised a Doctor who was once afraid of germs Constance always knew that one of Maura's biggest fear would be that her children might contract some incurable disease and that she would probably develop a strong obsession about it just like she knew Jane's biggest fear as a Detective would be to see their children being murdered or kidnapped.

"You're right I can not predict weither they will envelop any of those genetic diseases but if I had any informations on my family's medical history I would at least be able to anticipate and pay more attention."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that a couple of months ago I asked Jane to try contact Patrick Doyle so he could give me our…his and my biological mother family's medical history . Unfortunately they were out of the country and didn't find out we were looking for them until yesterday. Patrick Doyle visited us last night mom." Maura said reaching out for her mother's hand studying her face looking for any facial movement that would betray her real thoughts and feelings.

"I see and was he able to give you the information you needed?" Swallowing hard as the words came crashing her ears Constance was extremely uncomfortable, not because Maura had met with Doyle but because Hope was in town as well and knowing her daughter she knew she would not resist the need to finally meet her. She obviously understood Maura's desire to meet the woman who gave birth to her and didn't feel threatened but she was worried about the possible negative outcome of such a meeting if things didn't go as Maura had imagined.

"He said he and Hope would gather everything they can and that he would come back to me in a few days." Analyzing her mother's facial expression Maura could see that Constance was awfully calm and realized that she had probably been preparing herself for this ever since she adopted her.

"Hope, so you finally figured out her name."

"Yes. Do you remember when Louis was only a couple months old? Jane and I went to grand pa's cabin?"

"Of course I remember. Louis' biological father had managed to spread the truth about your affiliation with Patrick Doyle and you were forced to hide until Patrick took care of the situation."

"Exactly but what you don't know is that he came to the cabin before leaving town and gave me the blanket he would wrapped me in when I was a baby just before you and dad adopted me and a picture of her holding me. Her name was written on the back. He promised me that he would bring us together so we can finally meet and get to know each other once things would settle down and be safe for us . I'm sorry mother I wanted to tell you but we had just gotten so close and I didn't want to compromise our relationship. I didn't want you to think I was looking to have a relationship with her." Looking into her mother's eyes feeling the tear running to her eyes Maura was finally confronted with the hardest decision in her life : meeting her biological mother and take the risk of hurting Constance in the process or finally leaving her past behind her and settle with the fact that Constance Isles is her mother.

"Do you want to meet her?"

"Not if it hurts your feelings."

"Oh darling. Your father and I always knew that the day would come when you would want to meet your biological parents. It's a process every adopted child goes through and the fact that your father and I weren't the best parents for you probably increased that desire."

"Don't say that. You and dad made mistakes when I was younger but the three of us worked on our relationship and things are finally the way they're supposed to be and I don't want to compromise that. But I remember how violently you reacted when I mentioned my biological parents when I was growing up."

"Yes. I have to admit that your father and I never wanted you to meet them but not because we felt threatened but because we knew how dangerous it would be for you. Actually that's why they decided to put you up for adoption, to protect you. We promised them to protect you Maura and to make sure you'd never learn their identity. Unfortunately destiny had decided otherwise and your brother got killed and you finally got to meet Patrick. To be honest with you I'm not happy about you having any kind of relationship with him but I would be thrilled if you had the opportunity to meet Hope. She is an extraordinary woman." The truth was that Constance resented Doyle for being a cold blooded killer and for trapping Hope into the madness that his life was but despite only meeting Hope only once Constance knew what a wonderful young woman she was and could now see how much of her personality Maura had inherited.

"You…you met her?" All her life Maura was lead to believe that her adoption had been organized privately by their lawyer and after meeting Doyle became even more convinced that her parents only met him, not Hope but she was wrong.

"I only met her once. Doyle was opposed to the idea because he didn't want any one to know her identity for her own protection which I completely understood. Unfortunately Hope refused to give up her baby to people she had never met. I remember Doyle being very careful and paranoid, he blind folded us and drove us to this abandoned warehouse. When we arrived your mother was there holding you. I remember seeing you thinking that you had the most wonderful smile I had ever seen in my life. Your father and I loved you right away even before we said a word to Hope. We stayed their with them for the rest of the day and talked. She wasn't able to tell her anything about her but wanted to know everything about us. She didn't care about our money, she wanted to know who we were as humans beings, what moral values we stood for and most importantly she wanted to know if your father and I were truly in love because she wanted you to be raised in a healthy and strong home. " Saying those words Constance was immediately brought forty years back and remembered how mature Hope was for her young age and how determined she was to give her daughter up to the most deserving parents.

"I didn't know that." Unable to believe her ears Maura was eager to learn more, she needed to know everything about Hope, what she looked like, if she really had her intelligence but knew that she didn't need to ask her mother because she would have the opportunity to meet her very soon.

"Yes. I'm sorry darling, we wanted to protect you but now that you're an adult and that she's back in your life I see no reason to keep you from meeting her actually let me tell you a little story about your adoption." After years of holding the truth about her adoption Constance was finally ready to share it with Maura, to share that particularly difficult period of her life hoping it would help Maura get a new perspective on her distant behavior during the first thirty five years of her life.

"Alright."

"As you know I met your father the year of my 21 birthday. I was driving to the Hamptons for a birthday party one my childhood friend was having. I was only a few miles from her house when my car broke down. I remember stepping on out the car thinking I was going to have to walk when I saw your father's car. He saw me and stopped and offered to drop me to my party. Obviously this was a very safe area and it was 45 years ago so I didn't think twice before accepting his offer. A we were driving we started talking and we realized he was also actually driving to the same party. I remember spending the entire evening sitting on a blanket on a beach with talked about music, art, traveling around the world. I had never met someone so young but so ambitious and who shared the same values and dreams with me. It was love at first sight. We got married the next summer and as you know your grand father gave us the mansion as a wedding gift and decided to move to Boston so to finish school. What you don't know Maura is that...I found out that I was pregnant right before my graduation." Saying that last sentence Constance's emotion was visible, her throat was dry, the tears were streaming down her cheek and her heart was hammering her chest. For the past 40 years she had told the story on how her husband and her met but had never confided in Maura about being pregnant and about the dramatic event that followed.

"Oh my god mother, you never told me." Squeezing her mother's hand sliding closer to her Maura realized that her mother must have miscarried and was eager to ask for more information but she knew that if her hypothesis was correct that pushing her to confide in her was not the most appropriate thing to do. Constance had hidden the truth from her for forty years and now that she was about to finally tell her Maura was determined to sit and listen and to follow her pace.

"No I did not. Your father was delighted. Don't tell him I told you that because he'll deny it but he actually cried when we found out I was pregnant and almost fainted when we found out it was a boy. Unfortunately I miscarried during my 22 second week and was told that the damage to my uterus was so severe and that I would never be able to carry another child." Allowing herself to finally open up abut that terrible experience and to literally let the words flow out of her mouth Constance felt relieved like the heavy weight she had carried for so many years was finally gone.

"Mom, I'm so sorry." Snaking her arms around her mother's waist resting her head on her shoulder Maura started crying as well. After so many years of wondering why her mother was so cold and so distant with her, of trying to figure out what made her so determined to burry her personal feelings she finally knew and being pregnant she could barely understand how she even survived loosing her son.

"It's alright darling, it was a long ago. Your father and I were obviously devastated and we struggled so hard to make sense of what happened, to understand why it had happened to us and to find a way to overcome it. After a year of therapy our Doctor suggested that we volunteered with a charitable organisation, hoping that helping people less fortunate than us would help us put things in perspective. So the next month we started to volunteer at our church and a few months later one of the nuns told us about that couple that wanted to give their baby up for adoption. She knew about my miscarriage and thought that having another child would help us overcome the grief. The rest is history."

"Did adopt help overcome your grief?"

"At first it did yes. As I said your father and I fell in love with you the first minute we laid eyes on you. You were such a bright, smart, affectionate little girl and you brought me more comfort and love than I could ever imagine. Unfortunately that happiness was like a poisoned gift because every time I looked into your eyes I saw your brother, I saw that child that I had lost and every smile you gave me reminded me of him. I'm so sorry Maura, I know it sounds like a terrible excuse to justify my distant and cold behavior but you reminded me of the most terrible thing that ever happened to me." Bursting in tears, almost chocking on her tears Constance was finally admitting and facing the reason of her negligent behavior and despite knowing Maura would understand she felt like a monster.

"Oh mom…"

"I'm so sorry Maura. You know I often wondered what that child would be like. I often lied in bed at night and close my eyes trying to picture him, to guess what color his eyes or hair would be and it took me years to realize that living in the past was destructive, that by not letting go of him I was hurting you. That's why I have worked so hard over the past few years to rebuild our relationship."

"Was it becoming a grand mother that triggered that realization?"

"I think so. I have witnessed you and Jane becoming mothers and looking towards the future and it made me realize that I could not live in the past anymore. I realized that if I didn't finally mourn your brother I would never be able to be the grand mother I wanted to be for Louis and I didn't want to let what happened to me compromise my relationship with him the way it compromised ours. So when I found out Jane was pregnant and that the baby was yours as well I rose my head and decided to shut the door on that dark memory to focus on our future."

"I think I understand now. Thank you for sharing this with me. I can not imagine how hard it must be for you talk about him."

" I needed to darling. Shutting the door on your past doesn't make it disappear and hearing you talk about meeting your biological mother I realized that it was time for me to share that past with you. I know how you feel right now Maura. I know what it's like to spend your entire life wondering about that part of you that you lost wondering what could have been and that's why I will not keep you from meeting her."

"Alright mom. Thank you." Slightly closing her eyes Maura realized that she didn't need to meet Hope anymore, that all her questions about her past, about where she came from, about what made her who she was had just been answered. She had always lived her life convinced that the neglect she suffered from as a child had made her the way she was, that it had caused serious abandonment issues, a constant need to be loved and to seek for people's approval. She always believed that the neglect had shaped her rather awkward personality . Now that she understood why her mother had neglected her she could finally apprehend where she came from and she knew meeting that Hope wouldn't bring her more closure. After spending years wondering which factor between the environmental and genetic one was the strongest when it came to shape one's personality Maura finally realized that DNA didn't matter, she was Maura Isles, daughter of Constance and Charles Isles it's all that mattered

**So did you guys cry? I don't know where I found that idea, I think I pulled it off my ass. Really.**

**I never thought this conversation would lead Constance to reveal such a dark secret and that it would explain why she neglected Maura, but I started writing that chapter and that story line just came to me.**

**Now Maura doesn't feel the need to meet Hope but will she anyway?**

**As always I hope I didn't disappoint you.**

**Thanks for reading.**


	57. Congratulations 2

**Chapter 57 :**

**Congratulation 2 :**

A couple of days later was the day the Isles-Rizzoli family had been waiting for months : Maura had an ultrasound scheduled and they were finally going to find out the sex of the babies.

So after picking Louis up at school the happy married couple accompanied by Constance drove to the clinic eager to finally see the babies again knowing that at 20 weeks they would be able to see their little hands, feet or even watch them sucking them thumb.

After hearing her mother's heart breaking confession Maura found overwhelmed with a multitude of feelings. One one hand she was relieved to finally be able to understand her mother's distant behavior but on the other hand she couldn't help but being devastated imagining what her mother had had to go through. Being twenty weeks pregnant she could feel the twins move and kick and she could not imagine losing them at this stage of her pregnancy.

So after discussing the matter with Jane the two women agreed that Constance should play a more important part in Maura's pregnancy and asked her to join them for the ultrasound hoping that feeling a little bit closer to her grand children would help her cope with her loss.

Her left hand on the steering wheel and the other on Maura's thigh Jane could read the anxiety on her wife's face and was happy to have Constance with them to support them in case the ultrasound revealed any abnormalities. She knew that despite having this symbiotic relationship with Maura there was things that only a mother could understand or say and she was happy that Constance and Maura had grown closer over the past few years.

Around half past four pm the Isles family arrived at the clinic Maura was now lying down on the examination table surrounded by her mother, wife and son.

"Well I see you brought your mother. It's very nice to see you Mrs Isles, Louis I'm very happy to you too." Dr Thomas said sitting on a stool next to the examination table. As a Doctor Dr Thomas never allows more than one person to stay during the consultation and had never agreed to allow a 5 year old to witness an ultrasound before but was happy to do Maura this favor as a professional curtesy and knew Louis well enough now to know that there was no way she could ever keep him from being here to support his mommy.

"You know my grand ma?" Louis asked looking up at Constance in confusion. Sitting on his grand mother's lap agitating his legs in the air Louis was over excited to be here. After months that seemed like years since he found out he was going to be a big brother he was finally going to find out the sex of his siblings.

"Yes Louis, Dr Thomas is my Doctor too." Constance replied tightening her grip around him, trying to keep him still.

"But…you're not having a baby…" Frowning at Maura in disbelief Louis could not understand why his grand mother would share the same Doctor as his mommy if she wasn't pregnant.

"No, Louis your grand mother is not having a baby but Dr Thomas is a special Doctor for women not only for mommies, that's why she sees her from time to time and your mama too actually." Maura replied passing her fingers through his hair.

"Oh, okay I understand but can we start now please…" Louis pouted joining his to hands together as his looked at Dr Thomas.

"Yes Louis, I see no reason to make you wait any longer. You know I was wondering since you knew that your mommy was having twins do you have any idea if she's having two boys, two girls or one of each?" Dr Thomas replied as she gently spread the cold gel on Maura's growing belly making her shiver instantly.

"I don't know. I think I want at least one sister because you know nana always says that Tommy and Frankie got in all sorts of trouble when then were little and because I'm the big brother it will my responsibility to look after the twins so I think it will be easier if mommy has one of each." Louis replied shrugging his shoulder.

"Tell me about it. I grew up with three brothers and they always found a way to get themselves into trouble. But don't worry about it too much I'm sure you're going to be a great big brother. Maura if you're ready." Looking at Louis Dr Thomas was amazed by how mature Louis already was for his age and how eager he was to take care of his siblings. After dealings with hundreds of family over the years she knew that children especially of his age were usually reluctant to welcome a new sibling if not jealous but not Louis, not only he genuinely wanted to be a big brother but he was taking his role very seriously.

"Yes. I think I am ready." Taking a deep breath as she squeezed Jane's hand Maura's heart was hammering her chest. She didn't care about the sex of her babies, all she could think about was all the malformations or defects a twenty week ultrasound could stop and despite having prepared herself she wasn't sure she could handle a bad news.

" Hey babe, look at me. Everything is going to be alright, I promise, I love you." Jane replied kissing the top of Maura's hand.

Despite her apparent confidence Jane was at least as nervous as Maura was if not more. She knew that because Maura was almost 40 now her pregnancy was considered as risky and was praying for her babies to be normal because she wasn't sure Maura would be able able to cope with the idea of giving birth to sick babies and that the emotional fall out following such a news could endenger them even more.

"Alright. So Louis this is baby number one and this is baby number two. Let me see if I can find their heart beats." Dr Thomas replied looking at her screen as she moved the ultrasound on Maura's belly.

"Oh, they're beating really fast, can you hear mommy?" Bouncing off Constance's lap to get a closer to the screen Louis was fascinated by how loud and fast the babies' heart were beating.

"Yes, I can hear that. You know your heart was beating as fast when you were in your mama's tummy." Maura replied looking at Jane who was strangely silent and probably even more fascinated than Louis was.

"Oh mommy look the babies are sucking his thumb, that's funny." Standing right in front of the screen watching the two babies moving in Maura's belly Louis couldn't believe how clear the image was, not only he could see them moving but he could see their faces, fingers and feet. For him it was as good as having them in front of him.

"Wow, look at that babe, they're really big and Louis is right they are sucking their thumbs." Jane mumbled feeling the tears rushing to her eyes. Despite having experienced it when she was pregnant sitting here holding Maura's hand was a complete different feeling. Watching her babies moving on the screen made things real. Jane was going to be a mother again and knew that this joy would come with a lot of responsibilities and challenges but she strangely felt more confident regarding her abilities to be a good mother than she was when she was carrying Louis. Despite being nervous about raising twins she knew that Maura and her were the best of team and that as long as they supported each other they would be able to face any challenge.

"You did great Maura, I'm very proud of you." Unable to hold her tears Constance was honored to be here to share this very intimate moment with her daughter but also sad because it reminded her of her own pregnancy and that she lost her baby only two weeks after finding out it was a boy.

"I agree with your mother Maura, the babies seem to be perfectly healthy, their heart beats are strong and regular and they're actually one inch bigger than the average size for twins at this stage of pregnancy. The question is are you ready to know the sex?"

"Actually I already know." Pouting as she looked at Jane Maura was hoping she wouldn't be mad at her for not waiting for Dr Thomas to tell them.

"Sometimes I hate that I married a Doctor." Jane replied taping her foot on the floor.

"I'm sorry Jane, I didn't mean to look but the way they are positioned makes is hard for me not to notice." Maura apologized pointing out the screen.

"It's okay babe so do you mind telling us ?" Biting her bottom lip Jane was praying to have at least one of each. She loved Louis more anything in this world but really wanted to have a little girl and knew that Maura wanted it too.

"Mommy is having two girls!" Louis replied clapping in his hands.

At that precise moment Dr Thomas, Constance, Jane and Maura all stared at Louis in disbelief.

"Why are you looking at me funny? Look mommy it's just like in the book you showed me. The babies don't have a ..what's the word mommy?" Proudly pointed at the babies genitalia on the screen Louis was proud of himself. A couple of weeks ago Maura had showed him various ultrasound of babies of the two sexes and he was now able to tell that she was having two little girls.

"Penis, Louis the word is penis." Maura replied amazed that he remembered their little anatomic lesson.

"Maura! What…why in hell would you show him one of your medical books?" Jane asked rising her voice.

"Because he asked me how Doctor Thomas would be able to see the sex of the babies so I showed him one of the books I used when I was doing my OB rotation in medical school. I didn't expect him to remember any of it. I'm very proud of you Louis, you remember what I taught you." Gently rubbing her son's face with her right thumb Maura's heart was filling up with an extreme feeling of pride. She always felt that her son was intellectually gifted but this proved it for sure.

"So we're having girls?" Jane mumbled narrowing her eyes at the screen.

"Yes Jane, we're having two girls, you're not too disappointed?"

"Of course not, how can I be? God I love you." Jane replied crashing her lips against Maura's.

"I'm proud of you too Louis, you should really think about becoming a Doctor you know." Dr Thomas said amazed by his intelligence and incredible memory.

"Mommy says that I'm very smart and that I can do anything I want but I'm too little to decide. Can I have a picture to give to my nana and my grand pa please?"

"Absolutely, and I would be happy to burn you a couple of dvds so you can show them your little sisters."

"Thank you. Grand Ma did you hear that? I'm going to have two sisters ." Louis yelled running into Constance's arms.

"Yes, I heard Louis and even if I love you very much I'm happy that your mommy is giving me two grand daughters. Speaking of which, would you mind sharing the ideas you have regarding their names?"

"No. Kathy says that it's better to wait until the babies are born to see if the names I chose fit them before I tell you." Louis replied shaking is head. For the past two months he has been working closely with Kathy to try to find the best names for his sibling and despite being eager to share his ideas with everyone he wanted it to be a surprise.

"Oh come on Louis! You have been keeping this from us for weeks, please just tell us." Jane groaned rolling her eyes.

"Jane darling, if Louis wants to wait until the girls are born we have to respect his decision. We asked him to find the perfect names for his sisters and he's just making sure that the one he chose suit them. He's being thorough, there is nothing wrong with that." Despite being as eager as Jane was Maura knew how important this task was for Louis and she didn't want him to feel pressure or untrusted.

"I'm sorry Jane but I have to agree with Maura and Louis. Imagine you decide on two names and start referring to them with those names but you realize they don't suite them at all after they're born. That would be an infortunate situation, wouldn't it?" Constance nodded taking Maura and Louis' side.

"I never said we had to chose the names before they're born. I just want to know what names my son came up with. You haven't forgotten that I'm a police officer, right? I have means to make you talk son." Jane replied narrowing her eyebrows in an attempt to impress her son.

"Oh mama, I'm not scared of you, at all but nana says that when babies are born people bring them presents and I want this to be my present to my sisters. Please don't make me tell."

"Alright, alright. You know how much I hate surprises but this seems to be important for you so I will wait until they're born. Thank you so much for this wonderful gift." Jane replied pulling her son in her arms.

"Well Louis, how about your grand ma drives you back home ?" Maura suddenly said watching her watch knowing she still had the amniocentesis to go through.

"Why?"

"Your mommy and I have a few things to do before we can go home and one of them might a surprise for you and you wouldn't to ruin it would you?" Despite promising Louis to keep him informed and involved Maura and Jane had decided not to tell them about the amniocentesis knowing that because he was to young to comprehend it he would probably worry or even over react.

"Oh okay, but I don't need anything more today mama except maybe a snack. Can we get ice cream grand ma please?" Louis replied pouting at his grand ma.

"Yes we can. Maura I will see you later, please try relax okay?" Constance replied kissing Maura's forehead.

"I'll try, Louis be nice with your grand ma we should be home for dinner." Maura sighed opening her arms.

"Of course mommy. I love you and you too." Louis replied giving Maura a warm hug before kissing her belly.

A few minutes after watching Constance and Louis leave the room Maura and Jane were finally ready for the procedure they had been waiting for months.

"Alright, please try to remember that I'm going to administer a local anesthetic so the discomfort should be minimal. I know the needle is impressive but it should be painless."

"Why are you looking at me when you're saying that?"

"Because she knows how much you hate needles?" Looking at the needle sitting on the table a few feet away Maura was scared to death. She didn't have Jane's resistance to pain and knew that despite being under local anesthesia this would hurt.

"Yes but not as much as I hate scalpels but I don't faint every time I watch an autopsy, so I should be alright, thank you Doc."

"You're welcome."

"So how soon should we have the results?"

"It should take between 7 and 14 days. The private lab we use it really efficient and fast but the procedure requires that amount of time and there is nothing we can do about it."

"Okay. In the mean time I'm sure Doyle should have some answers for us."

"Doyle is my biological father. I asked him to gather our family's medical history. I know you can not screen the babies for cancer or other genetic disease and I think having those informations should help me sleep."

"I understand and while there is a genetic predisposition for cancer, asthma or even baldness as a Doctor you must know that environmental factors are also important so just try not to think about it too much and focus on how beautiful your daughters already are." Dr Thomas replied handing her the picture she had just printed.

"You're right, this reminds me that Jane and I decided that we didn't want to know if the twins are fraternal or identical so you don't need to do a DNA test." Maura replied holding the picture of her two daughters.

About two hours later the two women were finally home lying down in bed, exhausted after such an emotional day.

"Are you sure you're going to be alright?" Jane asked wrapping herself around her.

"Yes, I just feel a little dizzy from the anesthesia. Would you mind bringing me my dinner to bed? I'm not sure I can walk to the kitchen let alone stay at the dinner table."

"Of course not, it will be my pleasure. So we're having girls hum?" Looking at the ultrasound Jane could not believe that in less than three months she would be able to hold her two daughters.

"It looks like it, are you disappointed?"

"Of course, a little scared but no I'm not disappointed, I'm thrilled." Gently kissing Maura's forehead Jane never felt so happy and complete in her entire life. Sure she was scared of having two raise two daughter who would probably inherit Maura's intelligence and excruciating taste for fashion but it didn't matter. She already loved those little girls as much as she loved Louis and couldn't help to welcome them into their world.

"You don't have anything be be scared of Jane. We are a great mothers to our son and with a little organization there is no reason for us not to be continue to be great mothers to our twins." Despite her apparent confidence Maura was as worried as Jane. Despite having both her parents and Angela present not to mention Kathy who was doing a terrific job she knew that raison three young children would be a challenge and was afraid of the repercussion if might have on their marriage.

"I know… Speaking of being a good mother, do you think we should try to coerce Louis to tell us the name he has in mind?"

"No, I think his reasons for not telling us are perfectly understandable. I actually want to be surprised so please try to be patient, for me."

"That's not my strongest suit and you know it."

"I know but you know how he feels about me being in pain so giving him this responsibility and trusting him is important for him."

"I know. I think he feels how powerless as I do seeing you in pain but I think I found what could keep his mind busy until you give birth."

"Really?"

"Yes. Since we're signing the papers for the house on monday I was thinking we should start packing right away and once we moved in I was thinking about asking for his help to decorate the nursery you know."

"Oh, that's a great idea. I'm sure he already has plenty of ideas. How long do you think it should take before we can move in?"

"Well it should take us two week ends to pack everything and then we could move in the week end after that so probably three weeks?"

"Alright. I can not tell you how excited I am to move in our new house." Maura replied picturing them in their brand new house.

"Yes but remember, I won't allow you to lift a little finger. Our mothers are as organized as you are so they'll supervise the packing and unpacking so you have nothing to worry about."

"I know. I trust them to supervise everything. Actually I was thinking that we could move to my parents' mansion until everything is unpacked and settled in the new house."

"I think that's a great idea. Before you know it everything we own will be in boxes and I don't want you to hurt yourself stumbling on one of them. "

"Not to mention that I really don't the stress of living among dozens of boxes."

"Exactly. I will talk to your mother during dinner and we'll pack just the strict minimum to bring there. I'm sure Louis is going to love it. Now please close your eyes. I'll check with your mother to see if dinner is ready." Jane replied kissing her forehead.

**Alright guys, I know this chapter was poorly written, that after three very good chapters this one was a bit disappointing. I was not that excited about it so I guess it didn't motivate me to write a descent chapter. I promise I will make it up to you with the next chapter!**

**Anyway are you happy that they're having girls?**

**I know it's not realistic that Louis would know how to spot a girl or a boy on an ultrasound but he's a genius and besides a penis is not that hard to spot right?(especially since they were both sucking their thumb).**

**Hopefully Doyle will have answers soon and that amniocentesis results' will be good.**

**In the mean time I thought that they should all go live with Maura's parents so she would have someone to talk to until they get the results and besides as Jane said living in boxes can be dangerous and stressful.**

**I hope you enjoyed that chapter and as always feedback is always appreciated.**

**Tell me if you want more and don't forget to check my new story " dreams" lots of angst :).**

**Ps : I already know how what names I'm gonna give to the girls and to give you a little hint, I was inspired by the same kind of historical characters, care to guess?**


	58. Maura's decision

**Chapter 58 :**

**Maura's decision :**

Ten days had passed since Jane and Maura had found out they were expecting two little girls. After considering it carefully the two women decided to temporarily move to the Isles' mansion until everything was settled at their new house.

Despite being eager to finally move into their dream house Jane was only able to pack their things during the week ends and had to rely on Angela and Constance and their organization skills during the rest of the week.

Obviously the two women were more than happy to bring their contribution to the little family especially since Maura was 22 weeks pregnant and was now barely able to walk without assistance.

So to lift this weight of Jane and Maura shoulders Angela and Constance literally spent their days packing the family's belonging into boxes while Maura was at home resting under Kathy's care.

Louis despite being eager to move into his new home was delighted to be living with his grand parents and to be able to be tucked into bed by them every night.

Despite being only four he could sense how nervous both his mommies were how tired Maura was and had decided to stay quiet and obey Kathy as much as possible and not to cause any trouble.

What he didn't know was that Maura and Jane were nervous because they were still waiting for the amniocentesis ' results and for Doyle to contact them with the informations they had requested.

Despite knowing that the results for such a complicated test required at least two weeks and that gathering an entire family medical history wasn't an easy task Maura couldn't help but to obsess so much about it that it made her very irritable and hard for Jane to handle.

Today was monday and it was almost 10 pm and Maura was lying in bed looking at the ceiling waiting for her wife to come home.

Despite knowing that Jane was out with the guys she couldn't help but to worry and to be pissed at her for not being home yet.

Around half past ten as she was feeling the remaining strength she had leaving her Maura finally heard Jane stepping into their bedroom.

"Where were you?" Maura immediately asked reaching out for the lamp on her night table.

"Damn it, did I wake you ?" Hearing Maura's voice as she closed the door behind her Jane knew she was in trouble.

"I wasn't sleeping." Maura replied trying to sit up in bed holding her back with her right hand.

"Here let me help you." Taking a step towards their bed Jane started to feel guilty about going out with the guys. Maura was obviously in pain and she should have been there to massage her feet or to help her into a well deserve bubble bath.

"Do not touch me! Where were you?" Maura hissed pushing Jane away.

"I was at the Dirty Robber with the guys. Remember I told you Detective's Kincaid's probation ended today so we went out to celebrate. I'm so sorry for coming home so late. Are you in pain?"

"Of course I'm in pain! You know I have been in pain for the past month and a half! And when were you when I was struggling to take my clothes off or to climb in bed? You were you having fun with another woman!" Maura replied falling back in bed before painfully flipping on her side.

"Oh baby. I wasn't having fun with her. Frost, Frankie and a couple of other guys including her instructor from the Academy were also there." Climbing in bed next to her Jane realized that Maura wasn't hurt because she came home late but because she thought she was having fun with a younger woman.

Over the past five and a half months Maura's behavior changed dramatically. She wasn't the confident woman Jane had married but was now jealous every time Jane talked about a female colleague or if she dared looked at another woman.

Having gone through this herself Jane knew exactly how Maura felt, that she was overwhelmed by her hormones and therefore wasn't capable of controlling her mood swings and that the weight gain didn't help with her self confidence. Unfortunately Maura was in much more physical pain than Jane ever was when she was entering her third trimester and despite her best efforts nothing seemed to relieve Maura of the physical pain or comfort her and she hated it.

"Please don't try to make me believe it was a chore for you. I can't blame you though, why would you chose to come home with me when I can barely move when you can spend the night with a gorgeous woman who's obviously not insensitive to your charms." Despite knowing that Jane would never cheat on her Maura was unable to control her jealously and insecurities. She felt fat and unattractive and knew that her erratic behavior was certainly not something Jane was looking for to come home to and couldn't blame her for wanting to spend time with someone who could give her everything she couldn't.

"Oh Maura, baby… There is nothing going on between me and Detective Kincaid, alright? She's a Detective and I'm a Sergeant and the only relationship we have is strictly professional." Jane replied snaking her right arm around Maura's growing belly.

"I know, but you spend so much time with her."

"Yes I do but it's nothing you should be worried about. She's young and a little unexperienced but I can see her become a great Detective so I'm trying to help her out the way Korsak did when I started at homicide. You know how hard it is for a woman to get respected in our department and I think she deserve a mentor who went through the same struggle." Jane whispered kissing the back of Maura's neck as she gently started to massage her belly.

"Please, don't tell me you don't find her attractive and that you're not flattered that she looks up to you like you're some kind of super hero."

"Yes, I'm. I'm flattered that she considers me as a role model and that she wants to learn from me. How could I not be? But again, she's one of my Detective and you're my wife, there is not competition between the two of you and if there was one she would lose."

"How could she lose? Look at her and look at me! I…I look like a whale! I gained thirty five pounds, my feet are swollen, I have stretch marks on my belly and my thighs and I can't talk to you without being aggressive." Flipping on her back Maura could feel the tears streaming down her face. After spending years convinced she was everything Jane ever wanted and needed she now felt like a complete failure.

"You're not a whale, you're pregnant. I know how unattractive you feel because I have been there but you're still the most beautiful women I ever met in my life and I couldn't care less about your stretch marks or your extra pounds. I love you Maura and I love our daughters. I know how overwhelming and also painful this is for you and I'm so sorry for coming home so late. I promise it won't happen again alright?" Cupping her wife's face with her right hand, gently whipping the tears of her cheek with her thumb Jane hated herself for putting her though this.

"I know you love us and we love you too. I just…I'm just in so much pain Jane and I'm scared that something is going to happen and that you won't be here."

"Oh Maura… Look I know you're worried because you're in pain but our daughters are perfectly healthy and if anything happens Kathy and your parents are here. You're never alone Maura, you have people who love you and who are here for you to help you if you let them."

"I know but if anything happened I know you would be the only one capable of calming me down and comforting me."

"I know. Look, in a couple of weeks I will be able to take my maternity leave and we'll be all settled in our new house not to mention that the results for the amniocentesis should arrive in the next few days. I promise I'm going to take good care of you and that I won't leave your side until you give birth to my girls alright?" Kissing her wife's forehead Jane couldn't help Maura for being scared that something might happen to the twins and for not wanting anyone else but her to help her. God knows nobody could calm her down when she was pregnant with Louis.

"Your girls?"

"Yes my girls. God Maura you're carrying my babies, how could you think that I could ever cheat on you?"

"I know, It's completely irrational to believe you would cheat on your pregnant wife. I know you're the most loyal person I have ever met and that you can live without sex for long periods of time but cheating isn't always about sex you know. I mean I realize how difficult I'm to live with and I couldn't blame you to want to escape this."

"Oh Maura, don't worry about it. I know you can't control your mood swings and that the physical pain makes things worse and besides you've never been easy to live with and we've been married for over four years and I have been dealing with your eccentricities for even longer so don't worry I should be fine."

"I…I think I deserve this… Look I'm sorry for being to difficult. I can see everything you do for our family and all the sacrifices you make and I understand that you need time for yourself from time to time but please just call next time if you think you're going to be home late." Feeling her wife's warm arms around her Maura slowly started to calm down and to see things through Jane's eyes and realized that she went to far this time. Jane was completely devoted to her and their children, she would come home after a 12 hours shift and still manage to take care of her and Louis and to supervise the move to their new home. She barely took the time to breath and it was only fear that she took a night for herself from time to time.

"I promise I will call next time. You're right the past six months have been particularly challenging both personally and professionally but I know I can manage okay? Please just trust me."

"I do trust you. Now please go take a shower you smell like beer and It makes me nauseous." Maura replied covering her mouth with her hand.

"Yeah I'm sorry about that, the waitress dropped a bottle on the table and I ended up with beer on my pants. Just close your eyes and relax. I'm going to jump in the shower and massage your feet after that alright?"

"Alright." Maura sighed as she slowly closed her eyes.

The next morning after a well deserve night of sleep Maura woke up around 9 am feeling slightly more relaxed.

Turning her head she noticed a note on Jane's pillow.

_Good morning sleepy head. I hope you slept well and that you feel better than last night. You looked so peaceful that I didn't have the heart to wake you up. I will pick Louis up after school today and take him to the park and for some ice cream. I think he can sense that we're both worried about something and that he feels a bit left apart so I figured that that a little time alone with me would cheer him up. If you're up for it I was thinking we could take a swim with you in your parents' pool after dinner._

_Love Always._

_Your wife._

_Smiling as she folded the note and dropped in on her night table Maura slowly extracted herself from her bed, slid into her favorite robe and slowly walked towards the kitchen._

"Good Morning Maura, how are you feeling this morning?" Kathy asked standing in the kitchen a pan in her hand.

"I feel good thank you." Maura replied feeling almost sick at the view of the bacon frying in front of her.

"Good. Please go lay down in the living room and I will bring you your breakfast. From the look on your face I think I'm gonna have the bacon all for myself so how about a tea with a fruit salad and some of those biscuits your mother had imported directly from England?" Taking care of a pregnant woman was a first for Kathy who was usually only hired to look after young children but it doesn't bother her at all.

To the contrary, she actually had grown pretty close to Maura and Jane and was more than happy to make sure she wasn't into too much pain and that she was eating properly when Constance wasn't available.

"Yes, thank you. You know you don't have to do that, taking care of me was never in your job description."

"I know but I know that the twins can hear our voices now and I feel that taking care of you, talking to them will help me to bond with them you know."

"I know exactly what you're talking about. When Jane was pregnant I talked to Louis constantly because I wanted him to recognize my voice as soon as he would be born. You know I always thought that birth must be a traumatic event for the child. I mean you spend nine months in your mother's womb, it's warm comfortable and safe and all the sudden you have to leave that cocoon and that can't be easy . So I wanted him to feel safe in my arms and to be familiar with my voice in case Jane wouldn't be able to hold him right away."

"It makes perfect sense to me. Anyway please just go lie down. It shouldn't be long."

"Yes ma'am." Maura replied as she slowly made her way to the living room.

About ten minutes later as Maura was quietly watching some tv in the living room Kathy finally brought her breakfast.

"Here you go. You're lucky we had one mango left oh and there is a man at the door for you. Should I let him in?" Kathy said living the tray on the coffee table.

"Yes please. I was expecting his visit." Maura replied fixing up her hair knowing exactly who that man was.

"Alright." Kathy nodded walking back towards the door before inviting Doyle to come in.

"Maura, you look radius." Stepping into the living room holding a folder in is left arm Doyle's breath was immediately taken away as he laid his eyes on his pregnant daughter.

"Good morning. Please don't flatter me, I gain five pounds since you saw me left and I can't even stand up to properly greet you into my home." Maura replied shrugging her shoulders.

"You're pregnant Maura so it's perfectly natural for you to gain weight, don't worry about it. Are you still in pain?"

"Yes the more weight I gain the more painful my back is but I'm lucky. I'm surrounded by people who love me and take care of me and my son. Please sit." Maura replied inviting him to join her on the couch.

"Thank you. Actually I drove by your house and was greeted by Jane's mother who told me you were here. I hope you don't mind me coming to your parents' house."

"No, they're in New-York to celebrate a friend's birthday so don't worry about it." Maura replied looking at the folder he was holding hoping he was bringing good news.

"Alright. When I arrived to your house Jane's mother was packing so I suppose your offer got accepted?"

"Yes it was. Jane, Angela and my mother made it their personal mission to pack our entire house so we can move as soon as possible. Jane obviously works a lot so she can only help during the week end but we should be moving in a couple of weeks."

"That's great. Congratulations, your family deserve the best and I'm glad you found the house of your dreams. Anyway I came to give you this. I'm sorry that it took my so long for me to gather the informations you wanted but your…Hope's family is literally all over the globe which made it hard for us to track them down." Doyle replied handing her the precious folder.

"It's alright. So do you have anything particular to tell me?" Holding the folder on her lap nervously taping her fingers Maura couldn't bring herself to open it.

"Well there is nothing you should worry about from my side. I have a few uncles and my dad who died of cancer but it was mostly due to the heavy drinking and smoking, other than that we're pretty strong in my family and apart from a couple of cases of hypertension there is nothing you should worry about, no cancer or heart conditions."

"That's a relief. How about Hope's family?"

"Her family is pretty healthy as well. The only thing that seem to run in her family are allergies. She's lactose intolerant and so are her mother and her aunts and some of her cousins cousins suffer from pollen allergies but other than that nothing to worry about. There is no reason to believe your twins won't be perfectly healthy."

"Oh, that's a relief. Thank you." Maura replied letting a deep sigh as she felt her heart hammering her chest.

"You're welcome. Now that we clear that out I think we need to talk about Hope. You know she has been talking about it a lot since we came back." Saying those words Doyle knew that Maura's deepest dream was to finally meet her biological mother and he was finally able to make that dream come true.

"Yes. I remember the promise you made when you left. I don't know how to say this but I considered this and I don't think I should meet her for now. "

"Oh okay. I know you have a lot of your plate right now and that you need to focus on your health. Don't worry she'll understand."

"I hope so but the truth is that I'm not sure that I really want to meet her at all. I mean I spent my entire life wondering about you and her asking myself if I had inherited her eyes color or intelligence or any of my other characteristics, and as you know the fact that my mother was very distant with me only increased my desire to meet both of you because I had this desire to know where I came from. The truth is that I don't feel that need anymore. I don't really care that I got the color of my eyes from you or my stubbornness from her because I know those don't matter. I'm the woman I am today because of my parents, the parents who despite being distant loved me and always supported me and taught me everything I know about life. It took me until very recently to finally figure out where I came from : I'm Maura Isles, daughter of Charles and Constance Isles and that's all I need to know or need to be. " Saying those words Maura's heart broke a little because she knew how much Hope had wanted to meet her for the past forty years but she couldn't bring herself to meet her, not now that she had finally made peace with her mother and that she finally knew who she was.

"I understand Maura and you're right you have Hope's intelligence and stubbornness and you also have my eyes but when I look at you I see Constance and Charles. I see a very caring, devoted woman who's educated, who traveled the world to help the less fortunate. You're right, you're an Isles no matter what your DNA says." Despite understanding Maura's decision and being relieved that she had finally figured out who she was Doyle couldn't help but being heart broken knowing that Hope might never get the chance to meet her.

"I'm not saying that I don't want to meet her in the future but right now I don't. I have a wonderful mother and after years of being estranged from one another we finally share the bond we always hoped for and I don't want to jeopardize what took years to build. Not to mention that meeting Hope would be too confusing for me . I finally know who I am and becoming a mother again I can not afford to start asking myself questions that I'm sure would cross my mind if we met."

"I understand and I'm sure she will too, don't worry."

**Important AN :**

**Alright guys, someone recently mentioned that this story was getting old and boring and I have to agree.**

**Judging by the number of reviews I received for the past few chapters it seems that this story has lost your interest as well.**

**I originally planed on bringing Dean back and to have him hurt Maura and also to have them struggle with raising the twins but I decided not to.**

**I love this story but it came to a point when writing this story doesn't really excite me anymore so I started neglecting my grammar etc..I think it's a sign that this story has run its course.**

**So here's how things are gonna unfold :**

**Chapter 59 will be the birth of the twins with a small twist and possibly a big cliffhanger.**

**Chapter 60 will be the epilogue and the happy ending I'm sure you're hoping for.**

**Thank you again for the support, this story has been an amazing journey that I could have never achieved without you!**

**PS: What do you think of Maura's decision? Does it make sense? As an adopted child myself I can tell you that despite hating my adoptive mother for being very much like Constance she still remains my mother and I'm everything I am because(or thanks) to her and I have no desire to meet my bio mom or dad.**


	59. The return

**Chapter 59 :**

**The return **

Two months and a half have past and Maura was now thirty two weeks pregnant.

The day after receiving Doyle's visit Maura and Jane finally received the amniocentesis' results and after months of worrying were now finally able to relax and enjoy the rest of Maura's pregnancy knowing their twins were perfectly healthy.

Obviously being eight months pregnant Maura still had trouble moving around without Jane or Kathy's help but the physical pain had dramatically decreased since she had found out that their babies were perfectly healthy and that no fatal disease were running in her family.

Jane who had taken her maternity leave right when Maura entered her third trimester was relieved that Maura was finally able to enjoy her pregnancy and that the pain was insignificant enough to allow her to roam around a little more easily and more importantly to spend more quality time with Louis.

It was now mid may and the little family was enjoying a sunny saturday afternoon in the backyard of their brand new house.

"You know I could get used to this." Lying on her favorite long chair, sun glasses and hat on Maura was finally able to enjoy a quiet afternoon with her family without worrying sick about her babies' health and it felt good.

"That's what you say every time I massage your feet, I thought You'd had gotten used to it by not." Jane joked as she gently continue to rumb the sole of her feet with her thumbs.

"I was talking about the happiness. I still can't believe I spent the first 6 months of my pregnancy worried sick about the worse that could happen to our babies. Now that I know I they're perfectly healthy I'm finally able to enjoy this pregnancy and I have to say it's the most incredible experience of my life."

"I told you so. I know your pregnancy is different than mine because you're having twins but I'm sure you feel the same way I did when they're moving or kicking." Jane replied gently making her way up to Maura's belly.

"Yes except that it doesn't hurt when they kick. I don't want to be overly optimistic but they seem rather quiet compared to our monster there." Maura replied opening her legs to welcome her wife.

"Thank god. I don't know how Kathy does it, seriously look at her they have been playing soccer for the past hour and she's barely out of breath." Jane replied looking quickly over her shoulder before settling between Maura's leg, her head resting on her belly.

"She's only twenty three Jane, but don't worry you're still in great shape for your age." Maura replied stroking Jane's hair with her fingers.

"That's thanks to Louis because God knows it's not the amount of action that I get sitting on my ass all day at work that could keep me from getting fat." The truth was that despite loving being in charge of her team and being able to come home at reasonable hours Jane missed the field work. She missed the thrill of chasing criminals and interrogating them but looking at how happy her wife and son were to have her home made it worth the compromise.

"Well don't worry about staying in shape with those two because in less than a month you and I won't have a minute for ourselves."

"I know, but it's all worth it. Oh, I'll get that." Jane said rising her head as she heard the door bell.

"I hope you know you're a great wife and mother and that you're giving us the happiest life we could have ever asked for and that we're grateful for all the sacrifices you have made for us right?"

"I did what I had to for our family and I don't regret a thing. I love you." Jane replied kissing her wife's forehead before quickly running to see who could be visiting them on a saturday.

Walking towards the door Jane realized how much they had accomplished over the past five years. Things weren't always easy and being married and raising a child while having a full time job turned out to be more challenging than she had anticipated. Luckily for her thanks to their incredible relationship, to the honesty, love and unconditional support they shared they were able to get through everything. Somehow Jane knew that as long as they kept on being the complimentary team they had always been nothing including the challenges of raising three young children could ever severe the bond that united them.

"_If it's UPS delivering gifts for the twins again I'm gonna have to have a serious conversion with Constance. I know the house is pretty big but we soon won't have enough space to stock everything she's buying them_." Jane said to herself as she opened the door.

"Hello Jane. It's nice to see you." A deep masculine said before pointing a gun on her face, finger on the trigger.

Standing in front of that man she hadn't seen or thought about in over five years Jane's heart literally stopped. Feeling the cold gun pressing on her forehead she was paralyzed. She couldn't move, talk or even breath. All she could focus on was her family playing in their backyard and couldn't bear the though of seeing them hurt.

"Dean. What are you doing here?" Looking at him straight in the eyes as she managed to gather her thoughts Jane could see the hatred in the man's eyes. This wasn't a social visit and she was going to have come up with a plan to neutralize him before he could hurt her family.

"Take me to my son now." Dean asked passing his hand through his long dirty hair.

"Alright, you came here to see Louis and I'm going to bring you to him but there is no need to point that gun at anyone alright?" Taking a step back towards the back of the house Jane started to regret not allowing Doyle to have him killed when he offered years ago.

"Jane, what is taking you so long?" Maura said as she stepped into the living room holding her back with her left hand.

"Dr Isles, how nice to see again. I see the rumors were true, you did get her pregnant. I'm no Doctor but I'm pretty sure she didn't enjoy it as much as you did when I knocked you up." Dean laughed licking his lips as he laid his eyes on Maura enlarged belly.

"Oh my God." Dropping the bottle of water she had in her right hand Maura immediately felt her legs abandoning her. This could not be happening, not after everything they went through to keep their family safe and not now that she was finally pregnant.

"Wow babe hold on. You're alright?" Jane mumbled running towards her wife.

"Yes. I think I'm having a contraction. Oh boy. I need to sit down." Squeezing Jane's hand as hard as she could Maura was suddenly hit by a violent contraction making it hard for her to even take a few steps towards the couch.

"Fuck! Don't tell me she's gonna give birth now?" Dean groaned still pointing her gun to Jane.

"No, those are Braxton contractions, I have been having them for a couple of weeks now but the stress could induce the labor so can you please lower your gun?" Maura managed to explained as she lied down on the couch.

As Jane was trying to get Maura comfortable by elevating her feet she was trying to put a plan together to get rid of Dean once and for all and as fast as possible before Maura gave birth to her twins in their living room.

"Mommy, Mama, what are you doing? I'm hungry now. Oh hello mister." Louis said as she barged into the living room followed by Kathy.

"Louis, come here, Kathy come here too." Opening her arms to Louis and Kathy as she positioned herself between them and Dean Jane's anger rose exponentially. She could see the determination in Dean's eyes and knew that he would stop at nothing to get what he had spent five years fantasizing about his son and his revenge.

"Jane, what's going on?" Kathy asked as she immediately rushed towards Maura who was getting paler by the minute.

"Yes mama who is this man? He doesn't look very nice." Narrowing her eyebrows as he rushed towards his mommy Louis was confused but also scared by the view of that man pointing a gun at them.

"Who am I? I'm your daddy Louis." Looking at his son for the first time Dean couldn't help but being extremely proud but he could also feel his hatred for Maura and Jane rising and his face consequently turning red. Those whores had taken his son away from him and he was determined to take him back at any cost.

"Oh, okay. Well I'm not please to meet you Mister. Can you please put that gun away? Mama says gun are very dangerous and don't want you to scare my sisters." Unlike Dean who had spent the past 5 years wondering how he looked like Louis couldn't care less about meeting his biological father and after looking at him for a few seconds already hated him.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you and you know you can call me daddy." Dean replied taking a step towards him.

"No thank you. I have two mommies and I call them mommy and mama and I don't want a daddy. Mommy are you okay?." Louis replied looking down at Maura who had curled in fetal position.

"I'm alright son. Remember I told you about the contractions? It's nothing to worry about." Maura replied clenching her jaw as she placed Louis' hands on her belly hoping that feeling his sisters moving would comfort him.

"What in hell did you tell him about me?" Dean hollered pointing his gun at Maura's belly. Things were really clear now the two bitches had spent the past five years feeding his son with lies and he was determined to make them pay for turning Louis against him.

"Wow, let's no get carried away okay? We did not tell him anything bad about you. He's a just very bright and healthy little boy who's perfectly happy having two mommies. But now that you're here now and we can all work on giving you the relationship you always wanted but please put that gun down before you scar him for life." Positioning herself as a shield between her family and Dean's gun Jane could see in his eyes that he was hurt in his pride. He had probably spent five years planning his escape and fantasizing on his meeting with Louis and now he just realized his son didn't want to have anything to do with him.

"That's all because of her. If she hadn't get in the way we would have gotten married and we would have been a family. Maybe I should shoot her right here right now." His hand slightly shaking as she took a step further closer to Maura Dean didn't know what to do. He had been planning his escape for years but things weren't going the way he had dreamed it. His son was completely indifferent to his presence and all he could regain his position in this family was to eliminate the woman that had stole it from him years ago.

"If you do that, he's never going to forgive you and neither will I. We can work things out like adults but you have to calm down." Jane's instincts were telling her to jump at his throat and try to disarm him but looking over her shoulder she knew she couldn't take the risk of having Dean shoot Maura or Louis in the struggle.

"Mama, I think you should call a Doctor mommy isn't feeling so well." Louis said pulling Jane's pants.

"Oh. Hey Maura baby, are you still having contractions?" Turning around before kneeling in front of her wife Jane immediately saw how pale and sweaty she was and knew something was wrong.

"Yes and I think I'm bleeding Jane. Oh God…" Squeezing Jane's hand as hard as she could as she felt another contraction hitting her Maura could feel the blood streaming between her legs and knew she needed medical attention.

"I think she's right Jane. She needs to go the hospital now." Kathy replied pointing out to the pool of blood between Maura's legs.

"Oh God. Okay, Maura darling you have to breath okay. Everything is going to be okay. I promise. I won't let anything happen to our girls or to you." Kissing her wife's forehead Jane was barely able to contain her rage and knew she needed to find a way out of this before it was too late.

"You hurt my mommy!" Louis yelled taking a step towards Dean.

"No I didn't. She's pregnant, it happens." Looking down at her son Dean could see the same hatred Jane had in her eyes and knew he was never going to have the relationship he had hoped for with his son.

"Yes you did. I don't care if you made me with mama. She's my mommy and I love her and I hate you." Clenching is little fists as he felt his pulse rising Louis, without thinking about his run towards Louis and hit him with his entire body so hard that it caused him to fall backward.

Seeing Dean falling on the floor Jane's instincts rose and she immediately pushed Louis away before climbing on top of him before hitting him in the face over and over until lost consciousness.

Feeling her fists hitting his ugly face over and over Jane was finally able release all the anger he had felt for that man and to finally make him pay for threatening his family for the third time.

If she was able to understand his desire to be a part of Louis' life when he found out she was pregnant she couldn't forgive him for spreading the truth about Maura's affiliation to Doyle and she could even less forgive him for family hostage causing Maura to have contractions and to bleed.

"Kathy, call 911. Louis look at me son, everything is going to be okay I promise." Jane said as she leaned over to grab Dean's gun before standing up.

"I actually already called them. I dialed Detective's Frost number a few minutes ago when he wasn't looking." Kathy replied as she welcome a petrified Louis in her arms.

"Good girl. God Maura, are you okay? Maura, stay with me baby please." Running at Maura's side Jane could see that she could barely stay awake.

"Jane…It hurts. I think it might be placenta abruption. Oh Jane, the babies." Holding her tears she tears were streaming down her cheek Maura was barely able to keep her eyes opened and had to fight had hard as she could to keep herself from fainting from the pain.

"Shh, save your strength baby. I promise nothing is going to happen to our girls. Just stay with me." Kissing the top of Maura's hand Jane was trying to encourage her to fight to stay awake until the EMT arrived.

"Yes mommy Victoria and Elizabeth are going to be okay." Kissing his mommy's cheek Louis was as panicked as Jane was if not more. He could not understand what was happening but he could see the blood on his mommies hand and new something bad was happening.

"I think I love those names." Maura replied forcing herself to smile at him as not to worry him too much.

"I know I was named after your favorite King so I thought we should name the girls after your favorite Queens. Oh mommy please don't leave me, please…" Louis mumbled as he buried his head in Maura's neck, tears streaming down his face.

"BOSTON PD!" A voice suddenly yelled a few feet away.

"Thank God you're here! Maura is bleeding." Jane mumbled looking up at her partner who had barged into their home escorted by Detective Kincaid.

"We need a medic in here!" Detective Kincaid yelled before running towards Dean her handcuffs in her hand.

"Oh boy, what happened in here, is everyone alright?" Shoving his gun in his holster Frost took a minute to apprehend the situation before running towards Maura.

"I don't know. Dean must have escaped from prison and he immediately came here and threatened us with his gun, next thing I knew Maura was having contractions." Jane mumbled her entire body shaking as she literally fell into her partner's arms.

"Here, I got you." Frost replied as he gently took Jane a few feet away from Maura and tried to comfort her.

"You asked for a medic?" A distant voice said a few feet away.

"Yes, here. My wife, she's 32 weeks pregnant and she started having contractions and she's bleeding please help her."

"I'm going to do my best to help your wife. Hey young man would you mind if I check your mommy up?" The young lady said taking a step towards Maura.

"NO! STAY AWAY FROM MY MOMMY!" Louis yelled pushing the medic away as hard as he could.

"Louis, it's okay baby, come here. This young lady is here to help your mommy." Pulling Louis in her arms Jane could see how hurt he was and knew that keeping him away from Maura would be problematic. The two still had this unbreakable bond and she was scared of how badly he would react if anything happened to Maura.

"Mommy is hurt mama! I hate him, I hate him!" Louis sobbed as he snaked his little arms around her neck.

"I know but don't worry he won't hurt us ever again." Jane replied rocking him from side to side.

"Alright ma'am my name is Nicole and this is my partner Jeff. We're going to help you alright, but first we're going to lift you on the floor if that's okay?"

"Yes. I'm Dr Maura Isles. I have been having contractions about 6 minutes apart for the past thirty minutes and I'm bleeding. My abdomen is tender and my uterus is painful which lead me to believe that I'm suffering from placenta abruption." Saying those words Maura was petrified and knew how critical it was for her and the twins they got to the nearest hospital as soon as possible. As a doctor was well aware of the disastrous consequences the twins all suffer from if they weren't delivered as soon as possible. She knew that if the separation was too severe the twins could start being in serious distress and die from the lack of oxygen or suffer from long term brain damage if they were lucky enough to survive.

"Alright Ma'am, I'm going to examine and then we're going to take you to the hospital, alright?"

"Kathy, please take Louis and call Maura' parents while I escort her to the hospital." Jane instructed as she gently released Louis from her arms.

"But mommy needs me, I can't leave her now!" Louis mumbled looking at his mommy lying on the floor.

"Hey buddy look at me. What you did what the bravest thing I have ever seen in my life and you probably saved your mommy's life but now we need to take her to the hospital and you can't come in the ambulance with us. Kathy is going to drive you there and I promise you I will tell you as soon as your mommy is better alright? Do you trust me?" Looking straight into her son's eyes Jane knew that she could not keep from going to the hospital, that staying at home and being left appart would hurt him more than the endless wait in the waiting room and could only pray for Maura to be alright knowing that Louis would never recover if she died.

"Yes. I love you mamma, I love too mommy and the twins too." Louis replied waving at Maura who was behind escorting out of the house on a gurney.

"I love you too son. Everything is going to be alright. I promise." Maura replied as she slowly closed her eyes feeling her remaining strength leaving her.

For the next twelve minutes Jane held Maura's hand in the ambulance trying to keep her from losing consciousness.

"We're gonna be at the hospital in a few minutes baby, please just stay awake for me. I love Maura and I need you. I can not do this without you, so you're gonna stay awake and you're going to be alright and so are Elizabeth and Victoria." Jane whispered kissing Maura's hands, tears streaming down her cheeks.

A couple of minutes the ambulance finally arrived at the hospital and the three women were immediately greeted by Dr Thomas.

"Possible Placenta abruption. Patient is a 40 years old female in her 32nd week of twin pregnancy. She is conscious and responsive . She is 6 centimeters dilated and the contractions are only three minutes appart. Both hers and twins heart rates and BP are strong and regular." The medic says as she handed the chart to Dr Thomas.

"Alright people let's get her to the OR now. Jane , hey Jane look at me, are you alright? Can you tell me what happened?" Her hands on both her shoulder Dr Thomas could see that Jane was in shock.

"It's Dean, he escaped from jail and held us hostages. I need to go with her." Snapped right back into reality as she saw Maura leaving her sight on the gurney Jane has never been scared of her entire life. Despite having gone through child birth herself she had no idea of what was happening or what was going to happen and it scared her to death.

"I'm sorry Jane but that won't be possible but the good thing is that the babies' heart rates are normal and regular meaning they aren't in distress and that she's suffering from class one placenta abruption."

"It's good right? I mean if the babies heart rates are regular it means that they're breathing properly, right?" Jane asked swallowing hard.

"Yes. It means that the separation of the placenta from the uterus is probably minimal allowing them to breath normally. Now I'm going to take Maura to the OR. I'm sorry that you won't be able to be there for the birth of your daughters but I promise I will update you as soon as possible." Dr Thomas replied knowing how painful the idea of missing the birth was gonna be for Jane.

"Louis decided to call them Elizabeth and Victoria please make sure to use those names and to talk to them."

"I will." Dr Thomas replied as she walked towards the main entrance following the gurney.

Standing in the middle of the parking lot blood on her hands and her shirt Jane could barely believe what was happening an hour ago they were enjoying a sunny afternoon together and now Maura was in danger and so were the twins. Clenching her fists as she remembered who was to blame for this Jane was determined not to let him get away with it this time and as she grabbed her cellphone in her pocket knew that she should have done this years ago, that if she had none of this would have happened.

"Doyle, it's Jane. It's Maura, she's hurt and I need you to help me punish the one who's responsible." Years after refusing to allow Doyle to take care of Dean Jane was finally ready to lead him do what he did best and she hated herself for being such a coward for so long. Years ago she had refused to kill Hoyt when he escaped the first time and he ended up almost raping and killing Maura in front of her and today she almost died again because she didn't have the courage to make the right decision years ago. Yes, minutes away from becoming a mother again Jane felt like a complete coward and a complete failure for not being able to protect Maura for the second time and was determined to make things right even if it meant breaking the law.

**Alright guys. I first didn't plan to bring Dean back but a few of you asked me to reconsider so I decided to bring him bad and add more drama to this story!**

**Thanks to your encouragements I managed to find a way to incorporate his return into my original plot without dragging this story. (Because yes I had planned on hurting Maura during the birth of her twins).**

**Please don't hate me for ending this chapter with a cliffhanger, but Maura should be alright, don't worry.**

**I added the last part right before publishing because I thought Jane could react that way and the question is do you agree with Jane's decision to have Doyle kill Dean?**

**Did you like the names Louis chose(I must confess I'm partial to british history and those two Queen are my two absolute favorites) and did you like how the little man reacted when he met Dean and how he saved the day?**

**PS Next chapter will be the epilogue and I'm gonna take my time to write it and it's probably gonna be pretty long, send me your request/ideas if you want).**


	60. Elizabeth and Victoria Isles

**Chapter 60 :**

**Elizabeth and Victoria Isles :**

For the next hour Jane stayed in the waiting pacing like an animal in cage cursing at Dean for endangering her wife and unborn children.

Relieved by Doctor Thomas' diagnostic and knowing that the babies weren't in distress she was able to slowly calm herself down and remain optimistic.

She knew that Doctor Thomas was the best in her field and that she would do everything in her power to deliver her babies safely.

Confident regarding her family's fate Jane realized that Louis must have been worrying sick about them as well. She knew how sensitive and over protective over them he tended to be and that she was going to have to find the easiest and most appropriate way to explain the situation to him.

Unfortunately Jane knew that Maura was probably going to have to spend some time in the ICU or in recovery and that because they were born prematurely the twins would have to spend some time in the NICU making it impossible for Louis to visit.

Luckily for her Jane knew she wasn't alone and that she could count on Kathy, Angela and Maura's parents' support.

Around five pm and after an hour and a half of excruciating wait pacing around the waiting room Jane was finally joined by her " support system" as Maura called it.

"Mama, mama!" Louis yelled running towards Jane the second he stepped out of the elevator letting go of Kathy's hand in the process.

"Louis." Kneeling to welcome her son in her arms Jane was unable to hide her emotion and held him as tight as she could in her arms until he could barely breath.

"How are mommy and Victoria and Elizabeth? Are they okay mama?" Louis asked as he snaked his arms around Jane's neck.

"Sorry Janie, we couldn't make him stay home with Kathy. He wanted to come and you know how stubborn he can be. How are our girls?" Holding an overnight bag full of clothes for both Jane and Maura Angela knew that her daughter needed her support and that she couldn't allow herself to bend under the pressure. Her family needed her to be strong and to carry them through this ordeal and despite worrying sick for Maura and her grand daughters Angela was determined to be the rock of the family for as long as necessary.

"I don't know. She's still in the OR but Doctor Thomas said that she and the twins should be fine." Jane replied as she gently started to rock Louis in her arms. She remembered that he was also born at 32 weeks but without any complications and was wondering what to expect.

"Kathy mentioned a possible abruption?" Constance asked squeezing her husband's hand.

"Yes but Maura's BP the twins heart rates were regular so they weren't in distress. She thinks it's only a class one placenta abruption meaning that the placenta was only partially detached and that the twins should receive enough oxygen until she delivers them. " Saying those words Jane realized how technical they were and that she probably should have spoken using more comforting words as not to worry everyone that wasn't married to a Doctor and who had no idea what was happening.

"Oh boy I need to sit down." Constance replied feeling her legs abandoning her under the intensity and gravity of Jane's words.

"Grand ma, are you okay?" Louis replied escaping Jane's embrace. Being only four and half he was obviously unable to comprehend a word of Jane's explanation but he could feel that the situation was critical and could see on his grand mother's face that she was worried and felt the need to comfort her.

"Kathy, why don't you take Louis to the cafeteria for a snack?" Seeing Constance almost collapsing Jane could only imagine how hard the situation must have been for her and how it must have reminded her of the loss of her child over 40 years ago.

"No mama, I don't want to go. If you need to talk to grand ma, grand pa and nana I can stay over there but I don't want to leave. Please don't make me mama." Surrounded by adults Louis quickly understood that there was things that they weren't willing to discuss in front of him and accepted it but he could not imagine leaving this waiting room even for a minute. He needed to be here when the Doctor would come to update them on Maura and the twins' status.

"Alright, you can go sit there with Kathy why I talk to your grand ma. I love you son." Putting herself in Louis' shoes she knew that leaving him apart would only hurt him and that while they could not discuss everything in front of him allowing him to stay and wait for the Doctor would probably comfort him.

"I love you too mama and you too grand ma. I will be right there if you need me." Kissing his grand mother forehead seeing the tears streaming down her face Louis's little heart shattered into peaces but he knew better than to put his nose in adults' business.

"Are you okay Constance?" Jane asked as she gently started to draw small circle on her back with her right hand.

"Yes, I am. It's just that placenta abruption is how I lost our son but it was a class three and I barely made it. God I'm glad she and the twins are going to be okay." Rubbing her face with both hands as she slowly tried to slow down her breathing Constance was relieved that what happened to her was not going to happen Maura and that the Doctors had made so much progress over the past forty years. Maura was lucky enough to be in of the top OB department of the country and there was no reason for her to expect the worse.

"Yes, Maura and the twins are going to be alright dear." Kissing her wife's right temple Maura's father was trying to keep a positive attitude and a confidence posture but he was at least as worried as she was and could only imagine how worried but have been.

"Jane, the Doctor is coming towards us." Almost paralyzed by the anticipation of the news they were about to receive Angela was trying to read Dr Thomas facial expression to see if she was bringing good news or not. Over the past 10 years Angela and Maura had grown very close and ever since Jane and her had started dating they had developed an even stronger bond and Angela could not possible imagine losing her or her grand daughters.

"Dr Thomas, how are my girls?" Standing up as she took a deep breath Jane was preparing herself for the worse but was truly hoping for the best.

"The twins are fine. As I suspected it was only a class one placenta abruption and the oxygen supply was not compromise. They were immediately able to breath on their own but will have to spend a couple of week in the NICU. Maura is alright as well. The abruption was caught in time and didn't cause any permanent damage or internal bleeding. She's in recovery. " Taking her cap off as she quickly took a look around her Dr Thomas realized that the entire clan was here and was happy to be able to deliver some good news.

"Thank God. Can I see them?" Her right hand on her chest Jane let a deep loud sigh and immediately felt like the earth had stopped spinning : her girls were going to be fine and that was the happiest news she ever received in her entire life.

"Yes, you can certainly see the twins but only one person you won't be able to see Maura once she wakes up but don't worry it shouldn't take more than a few hours."

"It's alright she needs to rest, we can wait." Angela replied her left arm snaked around Jane's waist.

"Mama, mama. I want to see Elizabeth and Victoria please, please." Louis almost begged pulling Jane's pants for attention.

"Well you have to ask Dr Thomas." Picking him up Jane knew that there was it was very unlikely that Dr Thomas would authorize him to enter the NICU but considering she bent protocol for him before was hoping she would do it one last time.

"I'm sorry Louis but no children are allowed in the NICU. You will see your sisters once they're able to go home but I'm sure that your mama will be happy to take pictures and videos for you."

"No!That's not fair!" Struggling to escape Jane embrace until she finally dropped him on his feet Louis felt the anger filling up his heart. He had spent the past eight months caring for Maura and his sisters and they almost died and he wasn't going to let anyone keep him from seeing them.

"Louis, please try to calm down." Trying to calm him down Jane knew that Dr Thomas had made the wrong decision and considering how he reacted when he felt Dean was threatening Maura she knew that he would not give up that easily.

"NO ! You're just like him ! You want to keep me from seeing them! I hate you!" Clenching is little fists as tight as he could as he ran towards the NICU Louis saw Dr Thomas response as a way of trying to separate him from Maura and his sisters to hurt them the way Dean did and was determined not to let anyone threatened his family again.

"Damn it." Running behind Louis before she managed to grab him Jane knew she was going to use all the tact and reassurance she had in her to calm in down.

"No Mama let me go, I need to see them!" Louis yelled bursting in tears as he felt Jane's arms tightening around him keeping him from moving forward.

"Shhh, Louis, calm down. Everything is going to be okay I promise." Holding him strongly in her arms Jane started to gently jiggle him from side to side and could feel the tears streaming down her neck.

"Dr Thomas. I'm Maura's father Charles Isles. I don't think we had the pleasure to meet." Seeing the pain on his grand son's face Maura's dad knew he needed to intervene and knew just how.

"No Sir we haven't." Shaking his hands as she swallowed hard Dr Thomas knew exactly who he was and what was going to happen.

"I'm not only Maura's father but I'm Louis' grand father if there is something I do not handle very well is seeing him hurt. Today he was held hostage by his biological father and almost witnessed his mother bleed out. The way I see it you can either give him the comfort and peace of mind he needs to be able to sleep well until his sisters are allowed to go home with his mother or you can choose to stick to protocol and then I will have no other choice but to make a quick phone call upstairs. You might not know this but our foundation has been very generous with this hospital over the years and I believe that every single incubators your NICU has been purchased thanks to our generosity." Taking a step forward without losing eyes contact Mr Isles was determined to use his power and influence to get Louis the comfort and reassurance he needed.

"Yes Sir, I remember and your generosity was greatly appreciated. I personally have no issues allowing Louis into the NICU but as you must imagine the view of premature babies can be pretty traumatic for a boy of his age but if you think that he's mature enough to understand what's going on in that unit I would love nothing more than to introduce him to his siblings." Forcing herself to smile Dr Thomas knew she had no choice but to bend and agree to break protocol to allow Louis to see his sibling.

"You hear that baby? You're going to see Elizabeth and Victoria…" Sending a mute thank you to her father in law Jane gently whipped the tears away from Louis' angelic face hoping he would calm down now.

"For real?" Almost chocking on his own tears Louis did not hear his grand father's tirade and was pleasantly surprised.

"Yes Louis. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings but you know I have orders and rules I need to follow but I think rules are meant to be broken from time to time."

"It's okay. I'm sorry I got mad but….he hurt my mommy and I was so scared for my sisters I…I just need to see them." Louis replied shrugging his shoulders.

"I understand, now come on follow me so you and your mother can meet Elizabeth and Victoria. I heard that you picked those names yourself?" Dr Thomas asked inviting Jane and Louis to follow them.

"Yes. I was named after my mommy's favorite King Louis the 14th of France and I thought that I should name my sisters after my favorite Queens, Victoria and Elizabeth the 1st. Mommy told me stories and read me books about them. I like them very much because they were strong and independent. You know Queen Elizabeth never got married and was called the Virgin Queen and Queen Victoria had nine children and was so sad when her husband died that she didn't want to go out anymore." Louis replied almost as he was giving a speech on english monarchy.

"Forgive my son Doctor but he inherited his mom and grand mother's passion for history and their incredible capacity to memorize facts and dates." Jane smiled holding Louis as tight as she could.

"It's alright I'm passionate with history as well. So Louis. We are going to enter a very very special place. It's the place where we help babies like your sisters who were born early. Some of them are very very little and sick and have tubes in their mouth or nose and machines around them. I don't want you to be scared by all that. Everything you're going to see is here to help them." Standing a few feet away from the NICU Dr Thomas was trying to anticipate Louis' reaction. The view of premature babies was sometimes to much to handle for adults and she could only imagine how traumatic it could be for a young boy.

"I understand Doctor." Nodding as he took a quick look through the transparent window Louis knew that only adults were allowed in there and was honored and grateful to have the opportunity to do so as well.

A few minutes later after putting some scrubs on and washing their hands Jane and Louis entered the NICU. At first Louis was a bit impressed by all those machines and those tiny babies who for some of them looked really sick but as he laid his eyes on his sisters all he could see was the two of them.

"Louis, Jane. Please meet Elizabeth and Victoria." Dr Thomas proudly said as they arrive in front of their incubators.

"Oh…they're so little. Which one is Victoria and which one is Elizabeth mommy?" His eyes wide opened Louis was barely tall enough to see them in the incubators but he could tell that they were absolutely perfect.

"Well that's something we'll have to discuss with your mommy when she wakes up." Picking Louis up so he could see them better Jane stood between the two incubators her eyes wandering between them. Those two little girls were her daughters and she already loved them more than life itself.

"Okay. I don't think they look alike mama. I think it's going to be easy to tell them apart." Examining his sisters' faces Louis was immediately able to spot their differences.

"Yes Louis, they're what we called fraternal twins. They will growing up look a lot like each other but won't be exactly the same." Dr Thomas replied.

"Oh okay, but they won't look like me because mama didn't carry them in her belly and we don't have the same daddy too." Pouting Louis realized that they didn't have the same biological parents and that there was little chance for them to look alike.

"Not necessarily. Remember we explained to you that your mommy was adopted but every one says that she looks a lot like your grand mother. And besides you don't need to look like them to be close to them. They're your sisters and they're going to love you as much as you love them I can promise you that."

"I know mama." Louis sighed unable to keep his eyes of his little sisters. For the past eight months Louis has done everything he could to be there for Maura and to help our as much as he possibly could but he knew that things were real now : he was finally a big brother and he had a feeling that he was going to enjoy his new role more than anything else.

"Jane, it looks like Maura is awake and she's asking for you. A nurse can stay with Louis while we go see her." Dr Thomas said looking down at her mobile phone.

"Yes. I would like that very much thank you. How soon can I bring Maura here?" Dropping Louis on his feet Jane knew that the first thing Maura was going to ask was to see their daughters and that she was as stubborn as Louis and wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Let me examine her and if I feel confident that she's strong enough I will let you bring her here to meet the twins."

"Okay. Louis you're going to stay here until I can bring your mommy alright? I'm counting on you to talk to the twins so they don't feel alone." Jane said kneeling in front of Louis.

"Okay mama. You can trust me. I'm going to take good care of them." Snaking in arms around Jane Louis was split between his desire to see Maura and stay with his sisters but knew that the twins needed her more and that Maura would come to the NICU very soon anyway.

A few minutes later Jane finally entered in Maura's recovery suite only to find Maura lying on her side visibly still exhausted.

"Jane…" Maura sighed as she tried to sit up in bed.

"Here, let me help you." Jane replied as she took a few step to help her wife settling more comfortably in bed.

"The nurse told me our girls were in the NICU, how are they?" Reaching out Jane's hand for support the only thing Maura wanted was to meet her babies, it didn't matter that she knew she couldn't walk, she wanted, she needed to see them.

"They're fine, according to Dr Thomas they're breathing normally and will only have to stay in the NICU for a couple of weeks. You did great baby." Kissing her wife's forehead Jane was unable to hold her emotions.

"Thank God. How about Louis? How is he holding up?" Knowing her daughters were alright Maura's first thought went to her son, he brave, courageous son whom she knew must be devastated.

"He wasn't very happy when he found out he couldn't go see them but your father managed to persuade Dr Thomas to bend protocol and allow him to enter the NICU and he's with them right now. You should see them, they're perfect and they're fraternal twins so no risk for me to get confused." Jane smiled as she gently blow a tender kiss on Maura's shaking lips.

"Good. I can only imagine how he must be feeling after what happened. We need to be there for him Jane. I know we're going to be overwhelmed in the next few weeks and that we need time to settle down in a efficient routine but we can not neglect him or he might end up scarred for life."

"I know baby but he's a strong little boy and I think that as long as he feels safe and knows that the three of you are safe as well he should be alright. But you're right being held hostage and witnessing his mother almost bleed out is a traumatic thing for a four year old but I will be there for him for as long as it takes. I think I have some experience in dealing with that kind of stuff and if necessary we'll get him professional help. I refuse to let Dean ruin his life. I won't let him win."

"What about Dean? Has Detective Frost arrested him?" Maura's memory of what happened was blurry and the last thing she remembered was Jane on top of Dean beating him up and Detective Frost entering the house.

"Don't worry about Dean, he's never going to come near us ever again. I made sure of that." Kissing Maura's forehead remembering what it was like to see the love of her life and her son held at gun point Jane knew that she made the right decision by making that phone call.

"Okay. Thank you." Nodding Maura knew exactly what Jane meant and couldn't blame her. As horrible as it sounded she did not want to spend the rest of her life fearing for her family's safety and considering that the system had failed them once had no choice but to accept Jane and Doyle's unorthodox way of dealing with the situation.

"We're parents again Maura, can you believe it?"

"I will believe it when I see them…" Pouting at Jane Maura knew that it was up to Dr Thomas to allow her to go to the NICU and could only hope that she felt that she was strong enough to move around even if it was only for a few minutes.

"Dr Thomas is waiting outside. She's going to examine you and see if you're ready. I'm going to wait outside alright?"

"Thank you."

Half an hour later Maura finally stepped foot in the NICU on a wheel chair Jane behind her.

"Mommy!" Clapping in his hands as discretely as possible he saw Maura approaching Louis was barely able to hide his enthusiasm but knew that this place was supposed to be silent.

"Hey son. How are you feeling?" Welcoming Louis on her laps Maura tried to take a quick glimpse of her daughters in their incubator and could see how beautiful they were.

"I'm fine mommy. See this is Elizabeth and this is Victoria. Do you like the name I picked mommy?" Introducing Maura to his sisters Louis was extremely proud to have found two name that matched his and with such history.

"Yes sweetheart. I love those names and despite what your mama says I'm very proud that you're showing so much interest in history." Maura replied grinning at her wife whom she knew wasn't particularly found of european monarchies.

"I… I never said I didn't like history and considering the little I know about Queens Victoria and Elizabeth I think those names should to suit them very well." Jane replied kissing the top of Maura's head.

Unable to keep their eyes of the little princesses Jane, Maura and Louis were finally able to enjoy the beginning of their new lives knowing that all the pain and drama was behind them.

Over the past five years the little family had encountered many challenges and deceptions but had managed to overcome everything and always grew stronger.

Today they were welcoming two new members into their clan and they knew that a multitude of new challenges were waiting for them but somehow they knew that as long as they kept being supportive of each other and on being honest and loyal they would be able to overcome anything.

Yes after eight months of health scares, physical pain, moods swings and being kept hostage at gun point Maura, Jane and Louis knew that the worst was now behind them and that the best was yet to come.

**Alright guys... I know that I said this was going to be the last chapter BUT after writing it I realized it was gonna be close to 10 000 words so I decided to split it in two.**

**As a reader I know I tend to get bored when chapters are too long so I thought I would spare you.**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter and get ready for the epic epilogue.**

**PS : When I was younger I remember meeting this boy who was about 7 or 8 and who could not shut up about the french monarchy. He annoyed the hell out off me and apparently had this passion and fascination ever since he was 4 or 5 year old. I didn't base Louis on him but people that passionate about history or about other subject despite being that young do exist...**

**Enjoy the premiere tomorrow. I was fortunate enough the opportunity to watch the episode early and trust me it's gonna make you scream and cry( if you're as sensitive and passionate as me.)**

**Epilogue will be posted soon :).**


	61. Epilogue

**Epilogue :**

_**11 years later :**_

Eleven years have passed since Maura gave birth to Elizabeth and Victoria. The Isles family was still leaving in the beautiful house they purchased when Maura was pregnant and after extensive remodeling and improvement in their security system the little family was now feeling perfectly safe and comfortable in their home.

Maura who was now 51 years old was working at the Medical Examiner's office again.

After staying home for another four years after the twins were born she decided that it was time for her to go back to work as soon as they started school. Despite having stayed away from the professional world for eight years Maura had no trouble adjusting to the new procedures and technology.

Actually the biggest challenged she had to face was to work as a simple ME under someone else's authority. After years of being the Chief Medical Examiner for the State of Massachusetts Maura found herself having answer to someone's authority and report to him.

Luckily, after a few weeks of observing her new boss struggling with his administrative duties Maura suddenly remembered why she resigned in the first place.

Now free of all responsibilities Maura was able to do what she truly loved : perform autopsies and truly assist Jane and her team in their investigations without feeling overwhelmed or held back by the paper work. But most importantly what she enjoyed the most about her new position was that she was able to pick up her children at school everyday and help them with their homework and spend as much time as she wanted with them.

After thirty years in the force Jane's professional life had changed dramatically since Maura and her had met. Frankie had finally managed to become a Detective and was working with Frost who was now a Sergeant but most importantly she was now Captain Rizzoli in charge of the entire Homicide department.

When the twins reached the age of five she first got the opportunity to become a Lieutenant and when they reached ten Cavanaugh decided to retire and Jane was offered to take over his position.

After years of observing struggling him with politics and protocol Jane was more than reluctant to accept a position that would force her to make concessions and remain politically correct and bend over in front of the mayor.

Luckily for the people of Boston after consulting with Maura and her children Jane decided to accept the promotion and after thirty years of gradually earning more respect and responsibilities she was finally able to call the shots and run the department the way she wanted.

The twins were now 11 and had just started middle school. Despite not being identical twins Elizabeth and Victoria looked very much alike and were as close as two siblings could possibly be and had even invented their own language that allowed them to talk to each other without anyone understanding any of it.

Despite being Maura's biological children and having inherited her intelligence the twins showed no interest in science what so ever and despite having being raised like Louis to have an open mind on history and art what the twins loved more than anything else was listening to Jane telling them stories about her glorious days as a Detective. After spending their childhood listening to their parents rambling about how they gave justice to the people of Boston the two little girls had grown a particular taste for justice and while Elizabeth was determined to walk into Jane's footstep Victoria was determined to become a lawyer to help the less fortunate.

Despite being only eleven the two little girls already showed a growing interest in their future careers and a determination that Maura and Jane could not fight even if they wanted.

Louis was now sixteen and had just graduated from high school at the top of his class and unlike his sisters was everything but vocal about his dream career.

Despite having a very clear idea of what he wanted to do with his life he was more than reluctant to share his project with his mothers, especially with Maura who always had high hopes for him.

After the twins were born when he was five year old Louis made it his personal mission to be the best big brother possible for the twins and to protect the against everything he considered being a possible threat.

When the twins finally came home after spending ten days in the NICU Louis was barely able to sleep because he had nightmares about Dean and would systematically violently attack who ever was trying to get to close to his sisters.

Unfortunately being adorable babies the twins were often approached by strangers in the street or at the store or even when they visited Jane at the station and Louis' over protective attitude quickly became a serious issue.

Luckily for him Jane who understood better than anyone how he felt and why he felt the need to protect them managed to slowly calm him down and keep him for having violent rage burst against strangers.

She remembered killing Hoyt because he threatened Maura's life and remember how badly Louis reacted when Dean threatened her as well and knew that the anger and paranoia that was building inside of him was not healthy and that it would eat him alive if she didn't help him.

Luckily for little Louis after over a year of intense talking and regular camping trips Louis slowly started to cope with what had happened the day his sisters were born and started to understand that people weren't a threat to their safety.

Now after eleven years of bonding with them Louis was lucky enough to share a strong and deep bond with them. He was the one who taught them to ride their bike or to fish and the one they always come to for advice or comfort.

The twins literally worshipped him and were devastated by the thought of seeing him leave to go to college possibly thousand of miles from them.

Unfortunately as the oldest child Louis felt this overwhelming responsibility to set a good example and not to disappoint his mothers and ruin the hope they had put in him.

It was around nine PM that night when Jane finally got home after an excruciating day at work eager to spend the evening with her little family.

"You're finally home! How was your lunch with the mayor?" Seeing her wife stepping inside their house Maura's breath was once again taken away by her presence and her natural beauty. After almost sixteen years of marriage and twenty years of knowing her Jane still had this ability to make her shiver just by a simple touch or drop her jaw every time she saw her naked.

"It was long and boring but the food was good. How about you? How was your day in court?" Jane asked as she took her jacket, shoes off and tossed her keys on the kitchen counter.

"It was an easy case but I almost arrived late because of you so thank you very much dear." Maura smiled snaking her arms around Jane's neck.

"It's not my fault if the girls and Louis were occupying both bathrooms and I had to use ours." Looking down at her wife's cleavage was still amazed by how great Maura still looked despite being in her early fifties and after breast feeding their twins and Louis.

"No it's not but I told you to wait for a few minutes until I finished showering because I knew what was going to happen if you joined me."

"Oh come on don't tell me you didn't like it. If I remembered correctly I made you come not once but twice." Jane replied pushing Maura against the kitchen counter as she slowly slipped her hand below her shirt reaching directly for her right breast.

"What can I tell you? Sixteen years of marriage and you still have that effect on me…Oh Jane, not right now and certainly not in the middle of the kitchen." Maura moaned feeling Jane's fingers ticking her right nipple and her mouth attacking her neck.

"You're right, let me carry you to our bedroom. I wouldn't want one of the kids to catch us in the act again." Jane replied remembering the last time the three of them caught them together. It was a little over a year ago on Maura's birthday. Jane had taken the day off and had decided to wish her wife a happy fiftieth birthday surprising up by gently pulling her pajamas down and attacking her clitoris. The surprise had the effect Jane had hoped for and Maura woke up with a smile on her face, pulling her up and begging her to fuck her as hard as she could and a few minutes later the two of them were making love as passionately as they did when they first starting dating.

Unfortunately what they didn't know was that Louis, Elizabeth and Victoria had woke up early to prepare her favorite breakfast and had planned to bring it to her in bed.

So a few minutes later just as Jane had her left hand almost entirely buried in her folds and Maura was almost on the verge of climaxing for the second time the three children suddenly barged into their bedroom catching them naked with Jane on top of Maura.

Thankfully Louis had caught them a couple times when he was younger and regularly heard them in the shower that shared a wall with his bedroom and was able to quickly react by covering their eyes and closing the door.

Luckily for the girls the family was really opened and after a quick conversation they understood that there was nothing wrong with what they had witnessed and learned to always knock before entering their bedroom.

"Yes, we wouldn't want to repeat that disaster but I before I let you make it up to me for making me late to court this morning I would like you to talk to Louis. He has been so distant lately and I don't seem to get through to him." Despite being eager to make love to her wife after spending the entire day remembering their morning shower Maura's main concern was her son who has been strangely withdrawn lately.

"He just got accepted by three of the most prestigious colleges in the country and I'm sure he doesn't know which one to choose because doesn't want to hurt us by not choosing to stay in Boston." Over the past year Jane was able to feel Louis' reluctance to leave Boston to study out of state and knew that as devoted as he was the idea of " abandoning " his family must be tearing him apart.

"I won't lie and pretend I wouldn't be heart broken if he chose to study out of state and that I wouldn't be proud if he decided to study at my old college but he should know that we will both support him what ever he decides." Just like Jane Maura always knew that Louis' decision would be hard for him to make, that because he was so close to Jane and her and the twins he would probably hesitate to leave them.

"Well let me talk to him to see if I can use my skills on him while you my dear are going to look in that closest of yours and choose something sexy for me to tear off later tonight." Jane teased slapping Maura's ass before quickly walking towards her son's room.

"We'll see about that." Maura replied shaking her head as she tried to put herself together and her bra back in place.

"A penny for your thoughts." Jane said her head half way through her son's door that was slightly opened.

"Hey ma. How was your lunch with the mayor? Did your morning shower with mom relax you enough to keep you from lashing out at him?" Sitting on his bed, his laptop on his lap Louis was trying to figure out what to do with his life and knew his mother well enough to know that she came to bring her support and offer his some advice.

"You do realize that mothers never forget anything and that all those snarky remarks will one day back fire at you, probably when you decide to bring a girl home right?" Joking as she stepped into the bedroom Jane was far form being embarrassed but was eager to see him move out so she could have loud sex with her wife without fearing that he might hear them.

"I wasn't complaining. I actually think it's great that you and mom are still so in love and attracted to each other after all those years. I hope that someday I will find a girl that makes me feel the way mom makes you feel."

"Oh so is this what's been going on? Are you…in love?" Jane asked biting her lower lip as she sat on the edge of the bed knowing that she was probably not the best person to give him advice on his love life.

"No, I was just thinking about next year."

"Oh okay. Well you have nothing to worry about. You have been accepted to BCU, Colombia and Stanford with a scholar ship so you literally have the luxury of choosing where you want to study."

"But mom wants me to study at BCU right?"

"That's where she studied not to mention that you wouldn't have to leave Boston but this is your decision and no matter what you chose to do we will support you." The confusion on her son's face confirmed Jane's suspicions : the idea studying out of state and leaving their family behind was troubling him.

"I know but I want you to be proud of me and to set a good example for the twins."

"Oh Louis, how can you doubt for a second how proud we are? You're the smartest child we could have dreamed about and you're kind, caring not to mention you have a great sense of humor and your sisters worship you. You know I think you literally spent your entire young life taking care of them and trying to make your mother and I happy so how about you just take that decision according to what you truly want?"

"It's not that easy Ma. I know mom expects me to become a Doctor or a lawyer or something fancy like that." All his life Louis had been pushed by Maura and Constance to study hard telling him how important having a solid education was to have a successful professional life and because they both graduated with honors from prestigious colleges he felt that it was his duty to do the same.

"I have known your mother for almost twenty years now and I have no doubt she would be extremely proud of you if you decided to become a cop, a baker or a florist. What we want more than anything is for you to do something you love and you're passionate about because there is nothing worse than going to work every day and hating every minute of it." Truth be told Jane knew that Maura would be disappointed if Louis decided to pass the opportunity to receive a world class college education but trusted his son to make the best decision. He knew that he probably spent months considering his options and that his decision wouldn't be rushed.

"Okay. So I have been considering it for a while now and I decided that I wanted to become a writer and I already wrote my first novel." Louis said nervously clenching his finger on his pants.

"Oh…. I didn't know you were into writing. I always thought if you were to become an artist you would become a painter or a sculptor like your grand mother." Feeling that Louis had been keeping this desire hidden inside for quite some time and that he was probably passionate about it Jane decided to treat him like an adult and to take him seriously.

"I do enjoy painting but not as much as writing. You know it took me a year to write this novel because I wanted to be as accurate and thorough as possible so I did a lot of research." Louis replied determined to prove that this was not just a fling, that he was very serious about this project.

"I have no doubt that you worked very hard on this project Louis. If anything you have always been passionate like me and very thorough like your mother and I would be honored if you let me read your novel." Impressed by Louis' determination and the mature way he handled his project Jane was eager to read his novel and had a feeling that she was not going to be disappointed.

"Yes. I took the liberty of printing a copy for you and for mom too. Here." Reaching out to his night table Louis was excited to see that his mother wasn't trying to dissuade him from pursuing his passion and that she genuinely seemed interested in reading it.

"Alright. Well I'm going to talk to your mom. She's probably gonna read in right away but you know that I'm a much slower reader so just give me a little time Okay?" Jane replied looking down at the precious manuscripts.

"Thanks mom you're the best." Jumping in his mother's arm Louis was relieved and knew that if Jane supported him in his project Maura would too.

"Don't thank me, I'm proud of you. What you did requires a lot of commitment and efforts and I'm sure your mother and I will like it."

"I hope so."

Walking towards her bedroom Jane was trying to find the best way to explain to her wife that Louis was not only not going to be a world class surgeon but that he might not go to college at all and was hoping Maura would at least read his manuscript before trying to dissuade him.

"So, did you find what's wrong with him?" Sitting on their bed wearing nothing but a black bra with matching panties Maura was eager to find out if Jane had managed to talk some sense into their son.

"Yes, but I want you to keep an open mind." Sitting on the edge of the bed, the manuscripts in her hands Jane took a minute to wander her eyes on her wife's body who hadn't change a bit since the first day they met.

"Please don't tell me he got a girl pregnant."

"No. He's not that stupid don't worry. Well our son has decided want he wants to do with his life but I think it doesn't involve going to college."

"Oh, well did you try to dissuade him and to tell him that gaining a college education was important?" Hearing those words Maura's heart shattered into pieces. She had spent the past sixteen years encouraging Louis to excel in school and wasn't about to just accept his decision that easily. For her going to college was important and she couldn't imagine what project he could have that would be more important and would not require a college education.

"No I didn't. I told him that I would support him and that you would too."

"Jane! How can you do that? He needs to go to college otherwise he might end up being…" Maura replied slightly rising her voice.

"A cop?" Unlike Maura Jane didn't go to college and was a self made woman and was extremely proud of her carrer and of her professional achievement and knew that going to college wasn't the only way to succeed.

"That's not what I meant. You're the best cop I have ever worked with. You were born to do that and I'm glad you never went to BCU because we might have never met. I'm sorry." Lowering her voice Maura knew that Jane despite being proud of being a cop still had regrets from time to time and that being a snob about Louis' decision wouldn't help.

"Don't worry about it. I know you're not a snob and I think he found something he's truly passionate about and we need to support him."

"You're right. He spent his entire life doing everything he thought we expected of him so now it's time for us to support him. Would you mind telling me what he told you?"

"He wants to be a writer and already wrote a novel. Here's the manuscript." Jane replied handing the precious manuscript to Maura hoping that he was talented enough to turn his passion into a job.

"He's only sixteen." Quickly taking a look at the manuscript Maura realized that it was almost 400 pages long and how much work it must have taken to achieve it.

"Yes. He told me that he spent an entire year working on it because he wanted it to be accurate so he did a lot of research."

"Alright. I suppose we could read it and take it from there."

"Exactly. Just let me take a quick shower and check on the girls and after that I'm going to make it up to you for this morning." Jane replied leaning over to blow a tender kiss on her wife's gorgeous lips.

"I don't think so Jane. He knows I'm a fast reader and probably expects me to start reading it tonight. Feel free to take a long bath because I'm going to start reading our son's novel." Maura replied reaching out for her robe.

"Grrrr, okay." Jane groaned rolling her eyes. Despite being incredibly horny she was happy that Maura was so enthusiastic about Louis' project.

That night Maura didn't sleep at all but instead started to read Louis' novel and found herself unable to put it down until she finally finished it.

"What time is it?" Slowly opening her eyes the next morning Jane was surprised to find Maura sitting up in bed the same way she was when she fell asleep the previous night. Exhausted after her lunch and day with the mayor Jane had no trouble to fall asleep despite the light Maura had kept on while reading.

"It's almost 8 am." Sitting in bed with Louis' manuscript on he lap Maura had just finished reading it and was writing down some final comments.

"Did you stay awake all night?" Jane replied flipping on her eyes unwilling to get out of bed that early on a saturday morning.

"Yes I did. Once I started reading his novel I couldn't put it down." Maura replied taking her glasses off before joining Jane under the covers.

"Is it that good?"

"It's better than good Jane. It's absolutely brilliant."

"Really? Damn I promised him to read it but I was too tired last night. What is it about?" Seeing Maura's enthusiasm Jane was relieved and knew that her wife's support was now earned and that because she had such exquisite taste in literature and was such a hard reader to satisfy had no doubt that Louis' novel was indeed brilliant

"It's about us."

"What do you mean?"

"It's about a female Medical Examiner who was raised in a wealthy family and who's a bit socially awkward who is teamed up with a female blue collar Detective who was raised in a complete different social background and who seems to have an opposite personality." Pitching their son's novel to Jane Maura still had trouble believing that he found their lives inspiring enough to base an entire novel on them.

"Really?"

"Yes. You really need to read it Jane. He really managed to capture the essence of our relationship and how it slowly grew from a formal and professional relationship into a solid friendship but what I think is the most incredible is the way he wrote the criminal plot. It's absolutely brilliantly executed and the forensic and investigation procedure are describe with an almost perfect accuracy.."

"Now I see why he has been asking me that many questions and why he has been spending so much time with you at the morgue." Nodding Jane started to think about all those times Louis would visit them at the station and ask questions about their investigations and forensics procedure. Until now she thought that he was considering joining the force but she now realized he had another reason for being so curious and was extremely proud of him.

"Yes. I thought he was considering becoming an ME or a police officer but apparently he was just doing research. There are a few mistakes I would say it's 95 % accurate."

"I'm impressed…" Lacking words to describe how she felt Jane's heart was quickly feeling up with an immense feeling of pride.

"So was I and truth be told I was unable to find out who the murderer was…I think he's very talented Jane." After spending ten straight hours reading and commenting her son's piece of art Maura was impressed by the maturity Louis had put in his writing and found herself extremely proud to have raised such a committed, smart and talented young man.

"Then will you support him if he decides to become a writer without going to college?"

"I wasn't sure before reading it, but you can feel the passion in his writing and how much work he put in it. I think he really found what he was meant to do. But I'm still going to suggest that he takes writing classes. If he's truly committed to his writing he won't object and should be eager to improve himself."

"I agree. He's young and even if he's naturally talented I'm sure he still has a lot he could learn. How about you go tell him that? I'm sure he's already up." Jane replied eager to read her son's novel as well.

"Yes. He woke up about an hour ago and I think he helped the twins getting ready to go spend the week end with your mother and then drove them to her place." Maura replied knowing that the twins wouldn't be here this week end giving them the opportunity to talk about this novel.

"They're eleven. I think he should stop hovering them like that because soon he's going to leave the house and they're gonna find themselves lost without him."

"I know but I you know how much he enjoys taking care of them and I know that they cherish the time they spend together without us interfering or putting our noses in their conversation. The girls obviously have a lot of concerns that need to be adressed and I think it's important for them to spend time with Louis so they can talk about it. Actually I know they can not wait for their camping trip next week."

"Yes. They already made a list of everything they're going to need which reminds me of the first trip Louis and I took together."

"I remember that trip too. We had just found out that I was pregnant and Louis had many things he wanted to talk to you about and I think that allowing them to spend a few days away from us will be beneficiary and will hopefully smoothen the transition." This trip that Louis and the twins had planned was the first they were going to take without Jane or Frankie and despite being a little nervous Maura knew that she could trust Louis with their safety.

"I agree. You know if he decides to go through with this project and to stay in Boston I think we should encourage him to move out. He's a young man now and I'm sure he's going to need his privacy and I think it's time for the twins to learn to be more independent."

"I couldn't agree more. I think that after leaving all those years with four women he deserves his own place. You know our current tenants decided to move out at the end of their lease so we could give him our old house. That way he wouldn't be far but would still be independent."

"I think that's an excellent idea but remember that if he decides to take writing classes he might have to leave Boston and If the best classes are out of town we should support him."

"We will. Now please do me a favor and prepare us some breakfast." Maura smiled pinching Jane's face.

Walking towards Louis' bedroom Maura was split between being extremely proud and being extremely sad. She had spent the past sixteen year developing the most incredible bond with her son, trying to give him the tools to become a healthy human being and despite being extremely proud of the young men he had become she couldn't help but being heart broken to see him leaving the nest.

"Hey mom, how did you sleep?" Seeing his mother stepping into his bedroom holding his manuscript Louis' heart suddenly stopped. He knew that she was a fast reader and that she probably had read it already.

"I didn't actually." Maura replied closing the door behind her.

"I see you're holding my novel so I suppose you read it." Louis asked swallowing hard.

"Yes, I did."

"Did you like it?"

"No I didn't like it. I loved it." Maura replied as she sat on the edge of Louis' bed.

"You did?" Knowing how much Maura enjoyed crime and mystery novels and how hard and critical she, as a professional could be Louis' heart suddenly filled up with pride and hope.

"Yes and to be honest with you I wasn't able to put it down until I finished it. Why didn't you tell me you were working on such a project?"

"Because I knew you would want to read it as I wrote it and I was afraid of not being able to deal with the pressure. I needed to take my time to make sure it was good and accurate. Are you mad at me?" Overwhelmed by the high expectation his parents and grand parents had put on him Louis always felt compelled to excel at what ever he did and could not imagine going through that kind of project without being completely thorough.

"Of course not. You're right I would have probably pressured you to read it. I have to admit that it's incredibly well research and now I understand why you spent so much time with me at the morgue asking me questions."

"Yes. I needed to observe you and Ma and understand what forensic and investigation techniques you use to solve your cases. Was I accurate?" Over the past year Louis had visited his mothers at the station asking them all sorts of questions, taking notes to make sure that every single detail in his novel was realistic and accurate.

"Yes. I think you were perfectly accurate describing the investigation techniques used by the Boston police department."

"What about the forensic procedures?"

"You made a few mistake but I would say that you were 95% accurate and I would be happy to help you correct the few mistakes you have made."

"Thanks mom, I would like that very much." Jumping in his mother's arms Louis was relieved. After spending an entire year working his butt off on this project not only his novel was finished but his mother who was the person he admired the most on the planet loved it. Most importantly Louis was proud that despite being only sixteen he managed to impress his mother who had been an ME for decades.

"You're welcome. You know I really enjoyed the mystery and scientific part of your novel and I think it was brilliantly written but what I love the most is that you based your characters on your mother and I. I didn't know we were so inspiring. "

"You are. The two of you are my role models. Not only you have great moral values and a strong work ethic but you're the best at what you do so when I decided to write a crime novel basing my characters felt like the most natural thing to do. Not to mention that you told me so many stories about how you met and how your relationship grew from a working to a more personal relationship that I thought it would bring something more original to what crime novel usually are you know." Over the past sixteen years Louis had observed and learned a lot from his mother and could only wish to become such a respected and talented professional as they were but most importantly he was hoping he could become a human being that they could be proud of and maybe someday meet someone who he would share a relationship that would be a strong as theirs.

"I must admit that you really captured the essence of our relationship and of our individual personalities. I'm so proud of you ." Literally bursting into tears Maura was unable to understand how Louis could admire her so much. She always thought that her social awkwardness and rather colorful personality made her everything but a good role model and she was extremely proud to see how much Louis admired her and that hers and Jane's lives were worth being immortalized on paper.

"Oh mom, don't cry please…" Louis replied passing his fingers through her hair.

"I just…It's just that I remember when your mother and I had her first ultrasound, you were so little and your heart was beating so fast. Then I remember holding you when you were born and cutting the umbilical cord. I spent the past sixteen years trying to teach you the values I thought were the most important so you could grow up to be a kind, honest, hard working adult and you surpassed all my expectations."

" That's because I was raised by the best two mothers I could have dreamed of mom. Thank you for raising me and for being so patient with me. I'm know I'm no angel."

"Let's just say you inherited your mother's stubbornness and strong personality but you also inherited her kindness and courage and I'm really proud of being your mother." Holding her son in her arms Maura could see what a terrific young man Louis had grown to be and was amused to see that he was a perfect mix between her and Jane.

"Yes but Ma always says that I inherited your intelligence, imagination and taste for fashion, history and science. You know when I think about it I think she was a little jealous when I was a little because you and I were so close."

"I think that when you were very young she blamed herself for working so much and because I was a stay home mom at the time you and I developed a solid bond. I think it was hard for her to miss so much of your life but she always knew how much you loved her and that you considered her to be even a greater hero than superman or spiderman."

"You both are my heroes mom and I hope that I will make you and the twins proud both personally and personally."

"I'm sure you will son."

A couple of months later Louis enrolled a very prestigious writing program at BCU and while living in their old out only a few blocks from his family. After studying hard for two years to improve his writing Louis graduated with honors and after working with Maura on his novel managed to get it published at the age of 18. A few months later his novel called " The Jane and Maura Isles series" became a best seller. A few years later at the age of 26 Louis had written a total of four best sellers and was even approached by a network to adapt his novels into a tv show. After considering it Louis agreed to sign over the rights of his novels to the network with the condition of being an executive producer so he could have a real influence on how the show was written and how her characters were developed. This show was about his mothers after all and he wanted the show to be accurate and respectful and a true tribute to the two women who raised him.

The twins also grew up to be two exceptional young ladies. Elizabeth enrolled in the academy at the age of 18 and after spending 5 years on the street with patrol earned her Detective shield and was transferred to homicide where her Uncle Sergeant Frankie Rizzoli taught her everything he knew.

Victoria on the other hand decided to go to law school in New-York and after passing the bar in both New York state and in Massachusetts became a public defender in Boston working for the Isles foundation.

Jane and Maura decided to retire at the age of 60 after spending their entire lives giving justice to the people of Boston. After 25 years of marriage their love was still has strong as it was when they first started dating. Proud parents of three children who grew up to be smart, devoted, hard working human beings Jane and Maura spent their retirement feeling that their lives had been better than they could have wished for. Looking back at all the challenges they had to overcome over the past three decades Jane and Maura were extremely proud of what they had accomplished both as law enforcement professional but also as parents and role models for their children.

On Jane's sixtieth' birthday Maura purchased an old house that was literally falling apart so Jane could realise her old dream and restore it with Louis and Frankie.

Maura never heard from Doyle after Jane gave him permission to take care of Dean and never met Hope, not even after her parents died weeks apart at the age of 85. It had taken her years to cope with her adoption and to realise that DNA didn't matter and that she was an Isles and her parents loved her and while Jane spent her retirement rebuilding old houses and reselling them Maura took over the family foundation and continued to walk into her parents footsteps and tried her best to live up to her name and to her parents philanthropic endeavours. Soon she was joined by Victoria who helped her open a legal department that helped the less fortunate to get the best counsel possible. Jane and Elizabeth upon Constance and Charless' deaths also joined the foundation as volunteers and and used their years of experience on the field as police officers to give counsel to victims of trauma. Louis on the other hand was also happy to contribute in his own way by not only making generous contribution but also by making sure that his characters were representative of what being in law enforcement truly meant in his books and on the show.

Yes despite of evolving in different professional circles and having different personalities the Isles family was as united as a family could be and were always there to support and help each other knowing that the key to any healthy personal relationship was unconditional support.

**Alright guys, this is it, after 6 months, 61 chapters and over 200K words this story comes to an end. It was such a great journey and I honestly thought that I would end it after Louis was born but I received so many encouragements and had so many ideas that it turned into my longest and favourite and most popular story!**

**I wanted to thank you for the support and encouragement, thanks to you I realised that it doesn't matter if a few people insult or hate me and think I'm nuts. The most important thing is that I truly enjoy writing.**

**At the end of the day I know that you, my faithful readers enjoyed this story and it's all that matters.**

**I hope you enjoyed the decisions that I made in that last chapter, especially making Maura go back to work which to me seemed perfectly natural and making Louis become a writer... I thought that writing a novel about his mothers would be a nice homage and would be completely in character and that seeing his work turned into a tv show would be funny.**

**I also wanted to acknowledge the fact that Louis had trouble coping with what happened with Dean.**

**I'm sorry I didn't talk about Frost/Korsak/Frankie and Angela in this chapter but it's already so long and I really wanted to focus on the Isles family and give you a glimpse of what kind of adults their kids grew up to be.**

**Now I'm focusing on "dreams." Check it out, it's pretty good!**

**PS : I know some of you are gonna ask for a sequel. Up until now I never had enough ideas for that but considering that I gave you a glimpse of their future maybe I have enough material for a sequel. It could start with Maura's parents death and how the family is gonna cope and how they're all gonna contribute to the Isles foundation as Maura has to take over for parents and run it… Maura and Jane would be 60, Louis 25 and the twins 20...I'll think about it but I think it has potential!**


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